(meanwhile, somewhere in Osaka...)
(Ayumi and Mao continue to investigate, until they see the first Monster of the Chapter. Ladies and gentlemen, Osakaalpaca)
Mao: ...what the fuck is that?
Osakaalpaca: Ah! Ladies! It's so nice to see you! (looks at Mao) Oooooh, I've heard so much of you!
Ayumi: Who are you, and what are you doing here?
Osakaalpaca: I am Osakaalpaca! I've come to wreak havoc!
Mao: Osaka...alpaca. What.
Ayumi: And why are you going to wreak havoc?
Osakaalpaca: My master's orders, of course!
Ayumi: ...
(to Mao) You think this guy's just throwing us off the trail?
Mao: Honestly, I'm trying to figure out how in the hell anyone would come up with this name.
But I suppose it isn't the time to worry about it. After this, we'll need to read that book.
Ayumi: Right! (she turns to Osakaalpaca) Prepare to be taken down!
(she then tries to access her Hidden Power...but it's gone!)
Wha?!
Osakaalpaca: Oh-ho-ho! Were you expecting to morph into Deka Yellow? Hate to break it to you, sweetie, but you're not her anymore!
Ayumi: ...
(she spin-kicks Osakaalpaca)
This isn't a joke!
Mao: Nice one. (she and Ayumi high-five)
Osakaalpaca: Ow! Now you made me mad! (takes out a bazooka) Now it's time for you two to be defeated!
(Ayumi and Mao prepare themselves...)
Rika: Welcome back!
Previously, stupid shit happened. Specifically, Mykan and Ebenezer went back in time, we've met the Liberty's Kids characters, and we finally have our Rangers.
Kind of.
So let's continue with...
(click!)
Chapter 4: Rangers of the Past, Part Three
After the obligatory "previously on" recap, Mykan wonders if he can test the morpher out. He decides that there's just no other way, and it fades out. Specifically, to the fake redcoats, ready to destroy the real ones. As well as Sarah and Samuel.
...
Obligatory "Big Damn Heroes" bit in three, two, one...
Just when all seems lost, someone shoots them! They try to figure out where it came from. And no, alas, it isn't Carter Grayson doing his own "shoot the damn foes" schtick.
Though wouldn't the fanfic be ten times cooler if he was the main protagonist?
Nope. We have the Revolutionary Red Ranger, Mykan.
(audience groans)
Oh, don't be so shocked. I mean, hell, it was revealed in the first chapter. Not really a good time to basically do a "secret" thing.
Also. Take a look at the description.
- "He was wearing a full red outfit that had some white parts on it. A Full helmet that covered his entire face and head. A medium sized sword was in a sheath on his belt, and he was holding a small pistol in his right hand."
...yeaaaaaah. The suit's description is very, very vague. Also, a sword and pistol. Tell me, why does that sound so familiar?
Also, now that I think about it, wouldn't the fanfic be twenty times cooler if both Carter and Captain Marvelous were the protagonists in this thing?
(and no, Rika's previous two liveblog-arcs don't count)
Sarah recognizes the bracelet, asking Mykan if it's him. Well, duh! He did say he created...gah.
So the fake redcoats fire at Mykan, but—wouldn't you know it?—it barely leaves a scratch on him. He tells the enemies who he is, and after declaring to not hurt the people of the past, he just beats the shit out of them. With karate moves. SERIOUSLY.
As Sarah and the real redcoats become amazed, Mykan finishes them off by slicing them. I shit you not, this causes sparks to fly out. Sparks. On wax. Fucking what? And they're vaporized, too!
(Rika sighs)
The real redcoats encircle Mykan. Yes, even though he just saved their asses. Eventually, they stand down, and he demorphs.
...also. "Power, down!" No, it's "power down"!
Sarah has enough notes to document the story, which makes Mykan freak out. So what does he do? Trick them and teleport. Trust me, his reaction's much worse.
But hey, let's focus on Ebenezer for a bit! He uses solar power now in order for his creations to work. Not only that, but he also has created a machine to fuse the viruses (and seriously, why the hell are some random words, live "viruses", capitalized?), and we're introduced to the other members of the Five-Bad Band.
Ready? They get more ridiculous, if not disturbing.
We have our Dragon, Malakar. He used to be a simple little rat, but—for God knows what reason—he's mutated into a half-human, half-rat creature. Yeah, I have no idea.
The obligatory Evil Genius is his own computer. You see, Ebenezer gave it its own simulated voice (presumably a Microsoft Sam-esque voice) and intelligence. Its name? SID.
- "Short for SPEACH INTELLIGENCE DECODE!"
IT'S FUCKING "SPEECH"! NOT "SPEACH"! HOW DO YOU FUCK THAT UP?!
Next is the obligatory Dark Chick, Sakura. She's an action figure brought to life. Don't ask me how, okay?
Finally is the Brute, Tom. This is just not only disturbing, but also baffling. He recently was killed, but he's revived. What, did Ebenezer somehow come across a Black Lantern Ring? Or the Dread Zombie spell?
Then again, that would be giving this story too much credit.
SID tells Ebenezer that the fake redcoats are destroyed...aaaaaaaaand it doesn't give him who destroyed him. Seriously. Malakar suggests to send Rocky—you know, that rock monster in the last installment?—to investigate, but guess what?
- Ebenezer: "Or better yet, I'll send him to even do some damage to all those who appose me."
First of all, it's oppose, not appose. Secondly? Do some damage to all who...gah! You're really not a bright villain, aren't you?
And before you guys say, "Rika, give him some credit, he's ten!", allow me to issue a rebuttal. This guy is supposedly in college. We're supposed to believe that he's smart, no matter if it really pushes the Willing Suspension of Disbelief out the damn window. He's able to make a shitload of inventions.
What I'm saying is, this guy's an absolute dumbass of a villain, and I don't expect for him to improve.
After placing a memory chip inside Rocky, he's ordered to start in America. Goodie.
(Rika rubs her head)
(in the battle...)
(Osakaalpaca shoots some beams at Mao and Ayumi, who try to dodge them. The beams cause anything that hits to be gone)
Mao: S-shit!
Ayumi: You're telling me!
Osakaalpaca: Let's face it, ladies! The longer it happens with people believing that Ayumi's not a Dekaranger actress, the more her history will be altered!
Mao: Not if I have anything to say about it! GOKAI CHANGE!
Mobirates: GOOOOOOOOOOOO~KAIGER!
(Mao morphs into Gokai Yellow, and she prepares herself...)
Ayumi: W-wow!
Mao: Ayumi, listen to me...I know you're from Dekaranger. You just have to trust yourself! Besides, wouldn't I be able to transform into your past form without this?
(she uses her Hidden Power to make the Deka Yellow key materialize)
Ayumi: You're right. (she nods) I just need to think more!
(she concentrates harder, and her SPD Arms is formed)
All right! It worked!
Osakaalpaca: No matter! You're just delaying the inevitable.
Ayumi: How about if you just shut your face for good? (the fire burns inside her eyes, and then...)
EMERGENCY! DEKARANGER!
(she morphs into Deka Yellow)
Face on!
(the helmet materializes)
Mao: YES! You did it!
(Mao and Ayumi high-five each other once more, and with their respective weapons—Mao's Gokai Gun and Ayumi's D-Stick—they fight against Osakaalpaca)
Rika: At the print shop, Sarah's ready to publish her story, until Mykan appears! And what does he do? First, he grabs the note and tears the pages (uhhhh...). Then when Sarah flips her shit and is about ready to punch him, he...pulls her into a neck hold?
...
Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen! When they're not busy fighting enemies, they're busy fighting each other.
Just when Mykan tries to explain, Moses tries to shoot Mykan with a crossbow. Sarah then reassures him that he's not an enemy.
Is it just me, or is Sarah very tsundere-y? I mean, first, she's bitchy, then she flips between that and politeness and back again!
So Mykan enters inside, and he tells the group of how he got there. Even Ben agrees, stating how much the idea of changing the past would be considered dangerous.
- Ben: "Even the slightest change in history could either alter or destroy the future in ways unimaginable."
...
Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Remember that scene when we get to the biggest clusterfuck, kids.
Mykan then goes on to tell them about how the bracelets make them morph into Rangers, and he realizes just now that he found his teammates. He asks for their help, and...really? We're really going to do this?
Sarah snaps, telling Mykan that she will have no part of it. Yep, we are! We're fucking ripping off Lightspeed Rescue! Only instead of a Green Ranger telling them that he heard them out, he thought they're nuts, and he would be out of here, we get a bitchy Pink Ranger who goes through more mood swings than a...damn, can't think of a good comparison.
...and as a very avid Lightspeed Rescue fangirl, I am not happy about it in the slightest.
She tries to return her morpher, but she can't, for the DNA is locked, meaning—yes—only she can use it. He tells her that she has to believe in him, and Henri, Moses, and James agree to help out. Eventually, she agrees.
Just in time for some screaming to happen from random citizens.
Meanwhile, in the city, enter twenty more fake redcoats...at this point, we're just going to surmise that these redcoats will be the mooks for the series. With them is Rocky, and they are terrorizing the place, even burning the houses down.
And no, I'm not going to make a Linkin Park reference.
Enter the Revolutionary Rangers, ready to fight. Also, "you're" for "your". You have got to be kidding me.
So they morph, with the cry of "PAST...PRESENT...POWER!" I will say this. The morphing call could have been a lot worse. And they all morph...and Henri grows taller.
(Rika headdesks)
Yeah, I know in the past that Justin and Kou grew to their adult forms (or kind of) when they morphed. But I can't help but remember a few of the Sentai Warriors who, when they're kids (as in, transformed into one), kinda had their kid-sized costumes. Like Jan, for instance.
Why is it that the same thing isn't happening here with Henri?
...
Sorry for being nitpicky.
After the roll call, the Rangers and the foes attack. And the whole Instant Expert thing, as it is so common in the series? Here, handwaved as Mykan having the others go through the Mind Transfer Machine, to give them exactly what he knows about martial arts, making sure they all have the right moves.
Yes. Seriously. Just how in the hell did he manage to find the time to make them go through that?
Long story short, the group beat the Mooks, and they face off against Rocky here. Even with his beams, they just beat the shit out of him. Finally, their swords glow, and they fire a huge beam of energy; defeating Rocky and, and I quote, "EXPLODED IN ONE AWESOME BANG", which is in ALL CAPS because IT'S TOTALLY EXCITING AND CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL, Y'ALL!
...
Sorry about that.
After the crowds celebrate, the Rangers return to the print shop. Sarah prepares to return the morpher, buuuuuut...
(Rika sighs)
It's time to rip off Lightspeed Rescue. Again.
Long story short on that, Ben tells them that it isn't a time for celebration, because Ebenezer now knows that they exist. Uh...at this point, I'm not even going to dignify fanfic!Ben here being played by either the late Walter Cronkite, or even Ron Rogge. Because both of those guys? Deserve a lot better than this.
Likewise, how, exactly, would Ebenezer here even know the Rangers exist if SID didn't even know about it?
...
You know what? Screw it, we're almost done with this chapter!
Henri and James thought that they destroyed Ebenezer, but nope. As we all know, they just beat one of his obligatory Monsters of the Chapter. And even though they won one battle, the war has just begun, blah blah blah...
So as Mykan stays, he just looks around in his new room. And this chapter ends with, I shit you not...a song. Because...Lightspeed Rescue's first episode ended with a musical, riiiiiight?
(Rika flips her shit) OF FUCKING COURSE NOT!
Granted, for this fanfic, I'm not entirely sure which chapters have songs in them, but considering that several of his past fanfics have been musicals...
(Rika grows pale)
Oh, dear God, this is so gonna suck!
We get a "next time on", and...yeah. It's the obligatory "Megazord Introduction" chapter. As well as Mykan slowly losing it when he realizes that he can't return to the present.
...
Joy. So tune in next time for more stupidities, plot holes, and other shit to rip off of.
(...later...)
(Osakaalpaca is just getting curb-stomped by Mao's consistent blasts and a really pissed-off Ayumi's slashes)
Ayumi: Hey, Mao-chan!
Mao: Y-yeah?
Ayumi: You ready for this?
(she takes out a guitar)
Osakaalpaca: What?! What are you doing?
Mao: ...
<Oh. Right! I almost forgot about that...>
(she takes out a random radio out of her Bag of Holding)
Hit it.
(as the radio plays, cue Ayumi singing her lyrics to "Girls in Trouble! Dekaranger", which causes Osakaalpaca to groan in pain. He starts to shoot wildly at all directions in desparation to erase Ayumi, or Mao, or even the radio...but he just sucks at shooting now, making almost everything disappear. Mao prepares her Gokai Gun and Gokai Sabre)
GOKAI BLAST AND SLASH!
(when the song ends, Mao executes her finishing attack, defeating Osakaalpaca. She pants as everything's restored)
One monster down!
Ayumi: You got that right!
(the two demorph)
So...how about if we look at that book?
Mao: Sure thing!
(they read, and then they come across the description of Dekaranger)
...
Ayumi: ...it says that I was chosen for the first 10 episodes...but I was replaced by someone else?
Mao: No. No, no, no. There was no replacement...
Ayumi: Well, I believe you, but why is it that it's telling me...you don't think?
Mao: If anyone's really trying to rewrite reality, they're doing a bad job at it. No matter what, you're still Deka Yellow to me.
Ayumi: ...thanks. But I just wonder why it was so difficult for me to access my device?
Mao: ...
(she's still trying to cheer Ayumi up, but...)
To be honest, I think they're trying to lower our guard. I mean, if they are rewriting reality...who knows?
Ayumi: Yeah, and as goofy as Osakaalpaca was, we can't really take his threats lightly.
But I do appreciate you trying to make me psyched, Mao. It really means a lot to me. If you were in the same situation, I would feel the same way, too.
Mao: T-thanks. Let's report the findings!
Ayumi: ...not before we go over the book in its entirely, see if there's anything else changed.
Mao: ...
Very well. But we do need to let them know as soon as possible. I mean, we can tell it to Jason, too!
(Ayumi nods, and the two go over the book...)
Will Rika continue on with the fanfic? What is going on with the All-Stars V2.0? And can they solve this mystery in time?
Find out next time on the next Rika Liveblogs vs. Power Rangers: Revolution!
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