Let's Play a Weird Ass (Or Not) Version of Emerald!

Through the Woods to Rustboro

The Petalburg Woods are unnerving, and no mistake. Then again, you can't take my word for it, as I am very easily frightened.

In the grass, I find nothing but Cascoon and Slakoth, at first. I ignore the Cascoon, and use the Slakoth and Bug Trainers in the area to train Lucian via what I like to call the "Old Magikarp Switcheroo". (Really, it's just a fancy name for putting the weak mon on point before switching to something stronger).

Of course, we can't just have a quiet walk through the woods, so a Team Aqua member ambushes that Devon Researcher bloke and steals some equipment. As he is apparently the only one in the entire world without Pokemon, I step up and beat up the Aqua grunt and his Poochyena. Thanks to the magic of switching out, my Ralts levels up and finally gains an attacking move! Joy!

The Devon Researcher gave me a Great Ball in thanks, and I remember what he said about a Shroomish. That's right! The Rustboro gym is Rock-type, isn't it? Well, Captain hasn't evolved yet, and none of the others have advantages, I seek one out. After a few Slakoths, I find and catch one, naming her Mariska.

I step out into Route 104, taking in the sunshine. I see a pretty little flower shop, and talk to those inside. One gives me a Cheri Berry, and another gives me a Wailmer Pail. I pick the Oran Berries outside, before making my way down Route 104, being sure to get Bullet Seed. This will make a decent physical move for Mariska when she evolves into-OH, WAIT. Types are physical or special, not moves.

I make my way into Rustboro. As for this city...I left that little town from before because I wanted adventure, not some boring industrial city.

No matter. I go onto Route 116 to find some new mons to catch, and I come across a Taillow! Though I find it strange that this is the first time I saw one, I catch it and name it Fortissimo. While there, I also catch a Nincada and name her Shinobu. Notably, she is the first mon to go to the PC. I train Mariska on the local wildlife and the trainers there before going to the gym.

Lucian still needs some training to be equal to the rest of my team, so I still put him on point. I make my way through the lesser trainers before coming across Roxanne. She's the teacher/schoolgirl sort. I like her well enough, as trainers go (anyone who uses the words "Would You Kindly" non-ironically makes me find them likeable), but she's still only a Rock trainer, and rock types are as boring as Hell.

I use the same tactics that I used before: I switch Lucian out for Mariska, and make her use Absorb to make the Geodudes go down like punks.

Now, Nosepass is much more difficult. It has damn good defenses for this point in the game, and it doesn't have the quad weaknesses that its Geodude teammates have. Whenever I got it low enough, it either ate its Oran Berry or healed by a Potion from Roxanne. Finally, Rock Tomb started hitting, and Mariska faints.

Lucian cleans up from this point on, thanks to some well-timed crits and Rock Tomb missing. Once that stupid, stupid Nosepass goes down, I receive the badge, the TM for Rock Tomb (which I will never use) and the ability to use Cut outside of battle.

I leave the gym to see an Aqua Grunt make off with goods, and the Devon Researcher sics me on him again. I go down Route 116 to the entrance of Rusturf Tunnel, where some old guy named Briney tells me that the same Grunt kidnapped his Wingull, Peeko. I enter the cave, shake off the million billion Whismurs, and beat the Aqua Grunt.

After that, I return the goods to the Devon Researcher, who gives me another Great Ball, and takes me to the President of Devon Co. He tells me to deliver a letter to one Steven in Dewford, and gives me the Pokenav.

Once I leave the building, I come across another worker who tweaks my Pokenav (henceforth referred to as "Phone") to let it call people. After this, I train on Route 116, get Cut from Mr. Cutter (there is no way that guy is not secretly a serial killer) and go down Route 104 to return to Briney. And thus ends this installment.

My Team: