Well, this chapter got an odd reaction out of me, in that I thought it was actually good. Mostly. There was still stuff to make fun of, but let's get things in the logical order.
This chapter starts off with a quiet thing with our merry band of heroes taking a trek. Velvet's humming something, composing a song, and by that I mean the author is throwing more song lyrics at me that I don't recognize the source of.
Y'know, we get a few things in this where Velvet's composing a song... she ever take out staff paper and start writing things? Jotting down chord progressions? Sitting at a keyboard a guitar or anything?
Anyway, we actually have a nice thing that isn't bogged down by some bullshit action or angst or something, and, well...
Okay, there is this one boring thing where they get chased by a pack of hungry ghouls, but that's over pretty quickly.
They come across a bunch of stuff that in two hundred years hasn't been looted and Littlepip pops another drug to help with her lock-picking, and she gets what Velvet exposits to be a memory orb.
Then they meet up with the Watcher and Littlepip tells him to go find the slaves from the train and get them to Appleloosa. He then delivers backstory about the Ministries, blah blah blah war and Celestia wants to keep the mane 6 out of it, she abdicates and Luna gets the bright idea to form the ministries, something about "the moral of the story" which is the title drop for the chapter and fuck if I can remember what the moral was.
Anyway, they make their way to a barn, and holy shit this is actually funny. We're greeted to "Pinkie Bell" who appears to have set up a Pinkie Pie museum, and we get a bunch of backstory that's actually delivered well for once. Velvet and Calamity exchange some snarks, and the young filly reveals that she has a recipe for Party Time Mint-Als, which makes our drug-addicted protagonist wet with anticipation, and says she'll give it to them if they find one of them statues that's laying around the place. This seems like a quest until it turns out not to be. But still, this was actually funny and I actually liked it. That's fucking surreal.
She offers them a place to stay for the night, Velvet remarks that "nope, the girl isn't actually cheerful like she's acting." The door's locked for some reason, I dunno, maybe I wasn't paying attention, and Littlepip sneaks out and heads for the barn. She comes across a safe, and a strange object. This object is described as being "geometrically shaped."
Fuck that's terrible.
Anyway, she goes to the safe and ponders whether or not she should really be robbing. She decides that drugs are important enough and that she'll only copy it into her Pipbuck, but she feels that's kinda cheating. Anyway, she cracks the safe, and not only is there the recipe, but there's also a letter, which Littlepip reads. Turns out the filly's name is Silver Bell, and her parents were horrifically killed by raiders, and she's actually a unicorn and cut off her horn. Silver Bell then shows up and finds that our fucking asshole protagonist has been rooting through her shit and is understandably upset. Velvet then shows up and proceeds to chew out the poor traumatized orphan. Y'know, earlier Velvet Remedy was supposed to be tragically naive and now she's bizarrely shrewd.
The scene is genuinely sad and I really honestly felt bad for Silver Bell, who I feel more attached to than any of the protagonists. It's a scene with some genuinely moving pathos. And then the author ruins it by having the end-chapter perk contain the phrase "20% cooler."
Now onto chapter 10 and me being bored again.
