Alright. This one certainly does something different, changing the context and laying a background track of a gym setting over the starting monologue. It's certainly interesting, and the singer (speaker?) has a sort of charm to him, but it takes way too long to get going. We're fifty seconds into a 1:50 song and the music hasn't started yet.
Okay, here we go! The singing's a bit pitchy and the music seems mismatched, but it's a start! And—
We're back to talking. After ten seconds. Okay, time out. The speaker's really blotched the vocals, but besides the point—is this a song or a monologue? Hell, there's not even any background music, instead we have blender noises (from mixing the raw eggs, I presume) and commentary from the fucking peanut gallery. Now, I get that the original had this too, but 1. that was in context and 2. the original song is four minutes.
Fortunately, after another ten seconds we're back to music. At least they seem to be on track—OH COME ON! I mean, you had two minutes to work with and you chose to cover all the talking parts? Instead of, you know, the song?
Now, some of you might think I'm being a bit harsh here. After all, the actual song is mostly monologue too, isn't it? Well, yeah, but it's done kind of sing-songy and it's got a decent background track. This...doesn't. He's just talking, and to be frank (heh) the lead's got this cheeky sort of way about him that's kind of pissing me off.
And it's not like they don't have other options. I mean, it's a cover for christ's sake. You could've actually sung the monologue. That could've been cool. Or at least quicken the pacing for it so it doesn't take up most of the song. Just do something with it that I can listen too.
The sad thing is that the thirty or so seconds of actual music on the track (excepting the first verse) is actually pretty good. It's just sandwiched between some gratuitous awful.
Onwards!*
