Live Blogs Pannic Reads Stuff He Hates

Pannic2012-06-30 18:18:12

In the event that you just clicked this more or less at random and have pretty much no idea what this is, allow me to explain:

Fallout: Equestria is a fanfiction, a crossover between the Fallout series of video games and the cartoon My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. It may be the single most popular fanfiction in the entire fandom of the latter. The story is 45 chapters long plus an epilogue and an afterwards, clocks in at a word count higher than War and Peace (unless I'm mistaken one tragically misguided fan put the story on Wikipedia's "list of the longest books ever" page. Obviously it was removed), and has a large fanbase of its own, spawning fan art, fan adaptations, music, and even fanfiction of its own.

Fans have praised it for worldbuilding: the story actually does not go for the usual "character from video game meets ponies" premise a lot of lazy crossovers opt for, and instead works it into the backstory how we get from the universe in the show to the post-apocalyptic radioactive wasteland that we recognize from the Fallout games. Or I would recognize it if I'd played the games. As it is, I am waiting for a sale on Steam or GOG. The main characters of the story are all original characters, and they have been praised as "OC ponies done right" and "the best OC ponies in the fandom." In any case, the protagonist Littlepip is fairly instantly recognizable to many in the fandom, whether or not they've read the story. The story's length also qualifies it as something of an "epic." In any case, it has had praise heaped on it and is considered by many to be the best fanfic in the FiM fandom.

At this point, I have cleared chapter 13. I do not think the story deserves the praise it receives. I view it as horrendously overrated. As I go through the story, I will detail my problems with the story, along with general mockery.

The general Fallout: Equestria thread did not approve of my incessant riffing on the story and suggested I take it to a liveblog. Well, that's what I'll do.

A note that for the parts I have already read (the first thirteen chapters), I will be largely dealing from memory. As such, they will most likely not be as detailed as when I return to the stuff I haven't read. In any case, let's get started. Hopefully this isn't redundant as Perpetual Lurker is also doing a liveblog.

EDIT: It seems my complaining cannot be confined to a single fanfic. As such, I have decided to turn this into a multi-story liveblog!

Comments

Unknownlight Since: Dec, 1969

Feb 4th 2014 at 6:32:36 PM

Interjections in the narration again. Just like in the original.

Wait, what are you referring to here? What's the problem?

Seraphem Since: Dec, 1969

Feb 4th 2014 at 6:40:13 PM

Why would Spike just talk to them like that? he's made clear he's rather cautious about who he reveals even his existence to.

All he's seen is two random ponies running away from raiders. Before he approached Li'lpip he had seen her keep her cool in a firefight. Free herself, and the immediately stop to try and help save the other prisoner with her rather then run off and save herself.

Seen her reaction to just what the 'help' got her, letting the pony who tried to rob her for saving him go unharmed after stopping him. And seen she was rather quick witted, and could adapt quickly. he'd seen her in action at least somewhat before talking to her.

IcyShake Since: Dec, 1969

Feb 4th 2014 at 6:50:04 PM

[up]He means the "Okay . . . what?" It's one of those things that can break the flow a bit, similar to asides that sometimes go into a different tense than the rest of the narration, e.g. "I have to admit," where the rest is in past tense.

Oh, and I don't think it will be spoiling anything to clarify that Blackjack often refers to other characters by the weapon they carry, or other notable characteristics; she didn't know the guy's name, so she called him after his sawed-off shotgun.

Pannic Since: Dec, 1969

Feb 4th 2014 at 6:39:46 PM

Things like "…Okay, what?" that occur in the narration.

IcyShake Since: Dec, 1969

Feb 4th 2014 at 6:52:46 PM

Oh, and I vote HP.

Seraphem Since: Dec, 1969

Feb 4th 2014 at 6:59:21 PM

Meh I like the asides in FOE, and they fit with what the story was. er telling the story, with explanation of commentary.

Hell given the end, that is LITERALLY what it was. Her simply replaying the last few months of her memory and making commentary while doing so, then sending the memories and commentary to Homage who tried to convert the two into a single story.

IcyShake Since: Dec, 1969

Feb 4th 2014 at 7:38:55 PM

^ I was talking about PH. I don't remember the color commentary in Fo E well enough to comment on it specifically. For all that I brought it up, it's not the kind of thing I particularly noticed in PH until I started doing detailed rereading.

Unknownlight Since: Dec, 1969

Feb 4th 2014 at 7:47:14 PM

Things like "…Okay, what?" that occur in the narration.

Oh. I like that stuff in first-person stories. =/

Seraphem Since: Dec, 1969

Feb 4th 2014 at 8:16:39 PM

What he said. It's simply a good use of the First Person aspect of the story. And, most importantly to me, makes sense in verse.

IcyShake Since: Dec, 1969

Feb 4th 2014 at 9:11:32 PM

^^ The interjections and asides themselves I often enjoy, as I do think they can positively contribute to the narrative voice and the narrator's state of mind, but not the cases of tense divergence.

Somber Since: Dec, 1969

Feb 5th 2014 at 3:23:41 PM

You were spot on, Pannic. This was Fo E 2.0. Part of it was because I didn't have a CLUE how to start a big story, so I was basically framing mine exactly like Fo E. I thought, at the time, that was how Fallout stories are supposed to GO! I didn't really think into what Raiders were, only that they were ridiculously over the top violent and decorated their homes with reeking body parts. Chapter 3 of Fo E really set Raiders for me and I just went with it.

Looking back, if I could do it again, I would have made the raiders more like the various gangs that pop up later in the story. Violent? Sure. Territorial? Yeah. Evil? Sure. But I wouldn't have made them crazy or tried to justify it as I did. Bullet Holes and Slug really changed the way I think Raiders SHOULD be portrayed rather than how we saw in chapter three of Fo E.

Unfortunately it's not until chapter 6 that PH diverges significantly from Fo E... hope you'll bear with me.

CCPrime Since: Dec, 1969

Feb 6th 2014 at 2:43:40 PM

Well, pretty much everything major about the chapter's been said already— character moments, parallels with the original fic, yadda yadda yadda...as for the vote thing, I say the Harry Potter one— those kinds of badfics are always worth a good laugh.

ILSS Since: Dec, 1969

Feb 6th 2014 at 11:04:53 PM

I'm aware that this chapter, like the first one, was revised, though not to the same extent. What it changes I do not know.

Off the top of my head, some dialog was added, some altered, and the entire fight against U-21 and the raiders at the farmhouse was added.

He won't use guns because he's concerned he'll murder Blackjack.

So instead he blows the raiders up with a big grenade.

He wouldn't be able to stop himself from killing her if he had a gun, but explosives are just fine.

People have made fun of this for ages because it's ridiculous, and it only gets sillier as the story continues. What's more, it's not something you're ever allowed to forget, because it gets brought up constantly during dramatic character moments.

Anyway, it's the reason for the U-21 scene. People laughed at P-21 going on and on about how he wouldn't be able to restrain himself if he had a gun despite following Blackjack through hell and back while lugging around a grenade launcher, so Somber went back and had him shoot her in the back the first time he gets his hands (mouth) on one. There, see? Now we've seen that he's serious about that. Problem solved.

It might be the best example of my opinion of the revised chapters: toss a fight scene in where there wasn't one, and then fix something in a way that actually makes it worse.

Pannic Since: Dec, 1969

Feb 6th 2014 at 11:14:08 PM

The whole "guns bad, explosives fine" thing was something that struck me as really odd, though someone explained it as something about how a gun would be easy for him to shoot on impulse, whereas explosives are something that need to have thought and care applied or else he'll blow his own legs off. Yeah, it's a stretch, but I can see the thought process in there.

But adding a fight scene where one didn't exist previously? Shame.