| 1 | %%For tropes where Administrivia/NoRealLifeExamplesPlease or Administrivia/InUniverseExamplesOnly apply, please remember, this is a work portraying real life, which is explicitly protected by the first paragraph of No Real Life Examples, Please. |
| 2 | [[https://notalwaysright.com/friendly/ Not Always Friendly]] is a sister site of Website/NotAlwaysRight, added to the site's network in 2014. The stories involve conversations, conflicts, and confusing (and often goofy) moments among friends or complete strangers. [[UnreliableNarrator As usual, it's best to take these stories with a grain of salt.]] |
| 3 | |
| 4 | ''Note: Due to a restructuring of the entire NAR site network, the hyperlinks below may or may not work anymore.'' |
| 5 | |
| 6 | |
| 7 | !!Not Always Friendly contains examples of: |
| 8 | |
| 9 | * AbuseMistake: [[https://notalwaysright.com/some-people-just-care-you-to-death/196925/ This poster]] is a petite woman who plays rugby. A classmate refuses to believe her bruises come from playing rugby, and keeps trying to force her to go to a battered-women shelter. |
| 10 | * AbusiveParent: [[https://notalwaysright.com/bugging-out-with-the-buggy/104247/ This woman]] rams her shopping cart into her three-year-old, knocking him over and nearly breaking his nose, because he kept walking in front of her. Police and CPS were alerted almost immediately; no word on whether the child was removed or not. |
| 11 | * AccidentalTruth: The subject of the conversation in [[https://notalwaysright.com/better-than-a-space-delivery-boy/248439/ this story]] was told by his father that he'd never be anything but a ditch-digger. Years later, he's helped build the soil-sampler for the ''Curiosity'' rover, meaning he ''is'' digging ditches… ''[[MundaneMadeAwesome on Mars]]''. |
| 12 | * AdaptationDisplacement: [[invoked]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/books-can-run-rings-around-movies/ This person]] didn't realize ''Film/TheLordOfTheRings'' started out as [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings a book]]. |
| 13 | ** Similarly: "Literature/JamesBond [[http://notalwaysright.com/shaken-by-a-stirring-revelation/ is in books?!"]] |
| 14 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/they-need-to-be-expelled-iarmus/ And then there's someone complaining about how unfaithful the novelizations of the Harry Potter movies were.]] |
| 15 | * AdorablyPrecociousChild: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-best-and-worst-idea-to-date/ Six years old and giving grown-ups dating advice]]... like how to make her throw up if she isn't nice to you on the date. |
| 16 | * AlcoholHic: [[http://notalwaysright.com/dont-drink-and-drive-home-the-point/ Happens here]] as one guy tries to claim he isn't drunk. |
| 17 | * AllGermansAreNazis: Things that mean you're a nazi according to [[https://notalwaysright.com/she-can-not-see-beyond-her-preconceived-notions/290291/ this girl]]: Having a German last name, listening to modern German metal bands, and saying the word 'gesundheit' when someone sneezes. As the thoroughly annoyed submitter (who's being accused of nazi-dom for the above things) points out, his German ancestors emigrated before UsefulNotes/WorldWarI, and that he, being gay, would ''also'' have been a target for the Nazi regime, not someone who'd be "marching [her] into the camps himself." |
| 18 | * AmbiguousSyntax: A little girl is told by her mother that she should ask permission before petting a dog... [[https://notalwaysright.com/consent-is-so-important/203804/ so she politely asks the dog "can I pet you?"]]. |
| 19 | * AnalogyBackfire: [[https://notalwaysright.com/someone-complete-dck-breast-ignore/ This man complains]] about a mother showing her breast to breastfeed her baby as indecent and tries to compare it to him showing his penis in public... only for the submitter to point out loudly, to everyone nearby, that this implies that he feeds infants with his semen. The man is so embarrassed and flustered that he leaves quickly. |
| 20 | * ArtisticLicenseBiology: |
| 21 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/maybe-not-on-whatever-planet-youre-from/263694/ In this story]], the submitter tells their neighbor about how their cat was cranky because he couldn't go outside because of a recent wildfire and how the submitter didn't want his lungs to be hurt from the smoke. The neighbor's response is to tell the submitter (in a tone like the submitter is the biggest idiot in the entire state) that "cats don't have lungs". |
| 22 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/youll-never-meat-someone-so-misinformed/276734/ This story]] features a student assuring two vegetarian classmates that it's impossible for humans to be vegetarian, because humans will die if they abstain from meat for 10 years (changed to 14 years after one classmate points out she's been vegetarian longer than 10 years with no problems). |
| 23 | * ArtisticLicenseGeography: [[https://notalwaysright.com/no-springing-bok/93302/ One smug English girl]] proudly proclaims she's South African during a Rugby match when South Africa beats England but is called out by everyone at the bar that she isn't South African as she wasn't born there nor was she a citizen, and her grandparents and father living there for a few years does not make her one. |
| 24 | * AskAStupidQuestion: [[http://notalwaysright.com/some-friends-have-the-patience-of-a-saint/ "What's a saint? Are they people who work for Satan or something?"]] |
| 25 | * BackhandedApology: [[https://notalwaysright.com/pray-there-is-an-app-to-fix-that/ “Sorry you can’t take a joke.” “Sorry you have a terrible sense of humor.”]] |
| 26 | * BadassAdorable: [[https://notalwaysright.com/this-defeat-is-humiliating-but-adorable/246768/ This little girl]] will kick your ass at ''Franchise/StreetFighter''. |
| 27 | * BadPeopleAbuseAnimals: |
| 28 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/if-someone-hit-my-dog-i-would-not-be-responsible-for-my-actions/272707/ A woman]] attacks a leashed dog outside of a donut shop with an umbrella and claims to the dog's horrified owner that she (the dog) scratched up the woman's car and then attacked the woman, forcing the woman to "bravely" chain the dog up (the owner, the submitter, had just leashed the dog up outside the donut shop while popping inside to get a snack). The owner calls the police, and the woman gives them the same narrative, but fortunately the police believe the submitter's story over the woman's since the woman had already had a history of fraud and acting violently toward people. |
| 29 | ** In [[https://notalwaysright.com/taking-catty-behavior-to-a-whole-new-level/117076/ this story]], the submitter's father's co-worker is invited to a party at his house, but when the submitter's cat jumps on the couch to be with the submitter, the co-worker grabs him by the neck and ''slams'' him onto the floor hard enough to break two ribs. Why? Because [[DisproportionateRetribution animals don't belong on the couch]]. [[LaserGuidedKarma The co-worker would later be fired]]. |
| 30 | ** The submitter finds [[https://notalwaysright.com/karma-is-catching/90815/ this cat]] who it turns out was abandoned out on the street in a town 10 kilometres away by its owner's boyfriend, [[ItsAllAboutMe who didn't like it]]. The submitter doesn't find out what happened after they returned the cat to its owner, but they hope that the relationship didn't last. |
| 31 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-situation-has-gone-to-the-dogs/29386/ This jerk]] tries to adopt a pitbull but the submitter – his neighbour – informs the animal rescue volunteer that he has three other dogs in too small a yard, and that the dogs are too violent (they killed two of his family's cats) and are probably abused (the one non-violent dog is skittish around humans). When the volunteer tells him he can't allow any adoptions to the neighbour, he turns violent and gets himself arrested. |
| 32 | * BaitAndSwitch: [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-weird-game-to-play-with-your-kids-care/287497/ This man,]] a regular at a board game night, approaches a newbie inviting them to join another game night at his house. On arrival, it turns out that the other 'players' at this 'game night' are the man's kids, which he expects the newbie to babysit while he goes out on a date with his wife. It later emerges he'd tried this scam before with other members of the actual group, and was on his last warning; he tries to claim that since he approached the newbie in the parking lot, the owner of the store where it takes place can't take action, [[PersonaNonGrata but he's banned anyway.]] |
| 33 | * BedtimeBrainwashing: [[https://notalwaysright.com/technicolor-pachyderms-is-really-too-much-for-me/135352/ One individual]] attempts to mess with their friend's head while he's asleep; upon seeing that ''WesternAnimation/{{Dumbo}}'' is on TV, and knowing how much he hates the Pink Elephants scene, they proceed to crank up the volume. It works. |
| 34 | * BewareTheQuietOnes: Next to her twin sister, [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-cutest-and-sweetest-littlest-volcano/150407/ this woman]] is much shyer, more introverted, and more feminine. But [[BigSisterInstinct offend her sister in any way]]… Well, let's just say that the reason her sister intervened wasn't to protect her "little" sister from the guy, but to protect ''him'' from ''her''! |
| 35 | * BeliefMakesYouStupid: |
| 36 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/they-were-saved/ Enough so to]] ''intentionally'' endanger three lives to prove that God would save them, apparently forgetting about the part in the Bible where it says "thou shalt not put the Lord thy God to a foolish test", and then [[UngratefulBastard chewing out and threatening the good Samaritans that saved their lives]]. If the husband's comment that he ''wants'' the police to lock her up for it is any indication, this is just the tipping point in a long list of events like this - the story ends with the reveal that he divorced her at some point around the same time she went to jail over this incident. |
| 37 | ** Will somebody please explain what "bearing false witness against thy neighbor" is [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-sin-ple-explanation/ to this lady?]] She grills people in her church on seemingly random questions based on her warped view on who a "real" Christian is, and if they don't fit, she makes up a ridiculous excuse to get them thrown out. |
| 38 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/theocracy-hypocrisy/ For this person]], anything and everything any non-Christian talks about [[FeelingOppressedByTheirExistence can and will offend her beliefs]]. Her forcing her own beliefs on everyone else for three years, though, is perfectly fine. |
| 39 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/making-a-whole-lot-of-noise-about-a-whole-lot-of-noise/ This woman]] complains about how the loud noises from a practice racing event will distract her from her bible study, when said bible study is taking place at her house ten miles away from the event. |
| 40 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-devil-has-his-eye-on-you/ This old couple]] almost drowned the submitter via an impromptu baptism because they were convinced the broken blood vessels in her eyes were proof she was possessed by the Devil and would have continued if it weren't for bystanders and security stopping them. [[TheCloudCookoolanderWasRight Scary thing is, the "baptism" seems to have worked.]] |
| 41 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/to-save-your-soul-she-will-take-your-sanity/31812/ One flatmate]] keeps changing the submitter's kitchen cabinet lock number, as they insist on leaving it on the numbers "6 6 6" when locked due to their OCD, which bothers the flatmate to the point she believes she needs to "save" the submitter and, after weeks of the submitter's work being affected by feeling they have to check to see the pushy flatmate didn't touch their lock again at every noise when in the flat and between every class when out of it, ends up unlocking it and leaving a cross and a bottle of holy water, which was finally enough for the submitter and the less-pushy flatmates to report her to the student union. The union promptly ignores that student's simultaneous complaint about the submitter going to the kitchen every night, oblivious to the fact [[NeverMyFault she was the reason for the submitter's actions]], and ultimately orders her to move to a different flat because the rest of the students there far preferred the submitter's mild (at least when not deliberately antagonized like this) OCD to the other one's stubborn pushiness. |
| 42 | ** In a reverse, [[https://notalwaysright.com/oh-american-strife/29164/ this atheist English woman]] tries to pick a fight with an American Christian, proudly claiming that England is an atheist country when it’s not and, despite claiming to know Christianity, doesn’t believe that Jesus taught his followers to respect others and turn the other cheek. She was eventually kicked out of the restaurant by the manager for disturbing the American woman who was trying to be nice and tell her to leave her alone, [[NeverMyFault being oblivious to why people were cross with her]]. |
| 43 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/if-youre-looking-for-a-sign-this-is-it/239965/ This crazy girl]] lacks common sense due to her deeply religious beliefs. She had a dream that her pastor was having sex with a minor, which she believes was a revelation from God that it was really happening, and told people about it which got her banned from her church. When she loses her job, she refuses her friend's offers to help her find a new job since "God didn't give her a sign to take it". And then there's her stupid backup plan if she can't get a job soon enough to keep her apartment, which is to go Syria to [[TooDumbToLive spread the gospel to ISIS]]. |
| 44 | ** Just barely averted in [[https://notalwaysright.com/do-not-address-me-about-my-dress/152761/ this story]]. The father ''had'' been getting increasingly drawn in by an incredibly sexist church, but watching the way that some of the church members treated his daughter ''in her own home'' was enough to bring him back to his senses. |
| 45 | * BigFriendlyDog: [[https://notalwaysright.com/wild-times-with-wiggles/230912/ Meet Wiggles]]! |
| 46 | * BilingualBackfire: [[https://notalwaysright.com/whats-the-chinese-word-for-owned/129740/ These Chinese girls]] talk badly about a guy's friend because she's in frumpy clothes and no makeup, and one of them tells the guy, in English, to ditch her and come with them. The guy retorts in their own language. |
| 47 | --> ''*in Chinese* “No, thanks. Being with her, what would I need someone like any of you for?”'' |
| 48 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-worldview-so-narrow-it-looks-like-a-chopstick/132352/ This woman]], on the other hand, has a mental BSOD when the submitter responds to being mocked in Mandarin. |
| 49 | * BlindWithoutEm: [[https://notalwaysright.com/ok-assumer/245069/ This lady]] mocks a swimmer for asking the time, loudly pointing out a clock over the pool and telling them to read it, only to later see them out of the water and wearing "coke bottle" glasses -- very thick prescription lenses for very severe vision problems. |
| 50 | * BuffySpeak: "I used [[http://notalwaysright.com/talking-total-bolado/ the Salvadorian word for 'thingamajig'.]]" |
| 51 | * CallingYourBathroomBreaks: [[https://notalwaysright.com/thats-two-for-two-on-number-one/31338/ Happens here,]] combined with SharedFamilyQuirks. |
| 52 | * CloudCuckooLander: [[https://notalwaysright.com/an-aura-of-accusation/92228/ This woman]] makes a big display of sitting away from the submitter, and then moves towards and ''sniffs'' them, asking if the submitter has committed a crime because the woman’s “aura is very cloudy.” After the submitter asks her to leave, the woman leaves and accuses the submitter of trying to molest her. The police are called, only asking the submitter for a statement, as cameras clearly showed that the woman was making the submitter uncomfortable, and the police were aware of the woman, and were trying to get her into a secure unit. |
| 53 | * ComicallyMissingThePoint: |
| 54 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/its-hard-work-when-youre-hardly-working/ This friend]], who doesn't want to work while at work. |
| 55 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-bigot-on-accents/ This racist tourist]] goes on vacation in Singapore, and is surprised and confused to find there are a lot of Asians there. |
| 56 | * ContrivedCoincidence: [[https://notalwaysright.com/grooming-the-situation/29352/ This man]] accepts an invitation to be best man at his friend's wedding, which disappoints his girlfriend, whose father -- whom they've only recently met -- is going to be married on the same day... until it emerges that the submitter's friend ''is'' his girlfriend's father, which somehow none of them knew. |
| 57 | * CoolAndUnusualPunishment: Spring a surprise visit on your friend? He'll greet you... [[http://notalwaysright.com/get-out-of-town/ with a very large super-soaker!]] |
| 58 | * CoolOldLady: [[https://notalwaysright.com/god-gave-rock-and-roll-to-you/139776/ This church-dressed lady]] gives two metal-heads an envelope "from The Lord", leading them to expect a preachy pamphlet. Instead, it's free tickets to a death metal concert they couldn't afford. Apparently she does this whenever her son, who works for the venue, gives her tickets to a show which doesn't interest her. |
| 59 | * {{Crossdresser}}: |
| 60 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/dress-down-the-situation/ This person's]] boyfriend and friend are said to be crossplayers occasionally. |
| 61 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/bypassed-more-than-anticipated/ This person]], following gastric bypass surgery, takes the opportunity to try out cross-dressing. |
| 62 | * CrowdSong: [[http://notalwaysright.com/things-just-got-deep/ Here]], courtesy of ''WesternAnimation/ThePrincessAndTheFrog''. |
| 63 | * CutenessProximity: [[https://notalwaysright.com/usually-go-black-cats/108978/ This puppy]] seems to elicit this response from everyone he meets. |
| 64 | * DartboardOfHate: A variation in [[https://notalwaysright.com/only-the-power-of-friendship-can-defeat-pure-evil/313125/ this story]]. The submitter has an [[MotorMouth overly chatty]], overly opinionated, [[ItsAllAboutMe overly self-centred]] co-worker that they have to put up with. So during one of the submitter's gaming sessions with friends, the friend writing the story creates a lich with a personality very similar to the co-worker to take their anger out on. |
| 65 | -->'''Friend:''' “I might not be able to actually drop a building on your s***ty coworker for you, but I can help you do it in effigy!” |
| 66 | * DCupDistress: [[https://notalwaysright.com/hood-versus-bad/147948/ This submitter]] is a bit self-conscious about her large breasts, which becomes a problem when a fellow customer thinks she's a boy hiding things under "his" hoodie. |
| 67 | * {{Determinator}}: |
| 68 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-talkative-toddler-saves-the-day/220682/ This toddler got out of her high chair, unlocked the front door and a gate whose latch was high above her, and climbed ten steps to get to the neighbor's house.]] All the while crying and trying to communicate in a mix of English and Farsi. It was because [[spoiler:her mother had collapsed, and she knew the neighbor was a trusted adult whose child often played with the toddler's older brother]]. |
| 69 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-cat-in-your-house-is-worth-the-same-in-the-bush/256241/ This family]] is pretty determined to keep the submitter's cat. After essentially abducting the cat from outside its house in the belief that it was malnourished, it's weeks before they even think about contacting the actual owner, and even after returning the cat, they're insistent that they be allowed to look after it when the submitter is away. It takes a couple of months of them actually prowling around outside looking for the cat again before they finally give up. |
| 70 | * DidntThinkThisThrough: [[https://notalwaysright.com/first-one-to-bail-wins/259648/ In this story]], the submitter finds out after the fact that their former roommate intended to move out and stick them with the full rent (which neither could afford on their own). The comment section consists of multiple people pointing out that the submitter ''wasn't on the lease'', so Roommate would have been the one legally and financially responsible for paying the rest of the rent even if Roommate had pulled off the "midnight move". |
| 71 | ** The crazy woman in [[https://notalwaysright.com/this-story-took-a-turn-and-a-switch/294950/ this story]] was already pressing her luck by taking her child on a flight despite explicitly being told she legally wasn't allowed, and on her last chance, no less. But apparently, this woman didn't even consider that trying to steal the submitter's UsefulNotes/NintendoSwitch, which itself is a crime, would expose her stunt and make her lose all her remaining custody of her child. |
| 72 | * DiscriminateAndSwitch: |
| 73 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-a-in-lgbtqa-also-stands-for-arsonist/ A half-burned LGBT event sign]] leads a dormitory admin to assume one of the residents is discriminating. One of the residents is an impulsive pyromaniac, who burned the sign without realizing what it would mean. |
| 74 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/critics-would-pan-those-puns/155739/ A trainer at a new job]] responded awkwardly to a worker's admission to bisexuality, leading the worker to assume (and tell all their friends) that the trainer was homophobic. It's revealed some time later that the admission was in the form of a pun ("stand-bi"), and the trainer's reaction was because they'd missed the joke. |
| 75 | ** A costume director ''does'' have a problem with the transgender actor's new male name... [[https://notalwaysright.com/being-decent-isnt-hard-if-you-make-the-effort/232879/ she has speech aphasia, and it's hard to pronounce]]. |
| 76 | ** In [[https://notalwaysright.com/not-yet-a-pro-with-these-pronouns/250857/ this case]], the friend and their transman partner decided the submitter is transphobic because of their trouble with pronouns. The submitter is bad with pronouns because their ADHD makes them forgetful (and they're bad with people in general), and by using female pronouns in front of them and male pronouns in front of their other friends, the friend and partner were {{Gaslighting}} the submitter and making the problem worse. |
| 77 | * DisproportionateRetribution: |
| 78 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/dishing-the-dirty-dishes/ This person's roommate]] moves out without a word (potentially causing money issues) because the writer of the story changed the Wifi password in response to her refusing to do the dishes to the point they were growing moldy. |
| 79 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/super-soaker-smashdown/298791/ This old man]] ''[[WouldHurtAChild attacks a seven-year-old boy]]'' (leaving the poor kid with bruises and a sore neck) and destroys his Super Soaker after the boy accidentally sprays the man's window with it (doing no damage whatsoever). The kid's unamused parents call the police as soon as they find out what happened, and the man [[LaserGuidedKarma is forced to pay several fines and replace the Super Soaker]]. |
| 80 | * TheDitz: [[https://notalwaysright.com/mercury-isnt-thing-retrograde/95346/ This train passenger]] has some very colourful things to say. |
| 81 | * DoesThisMakeMeLookFat: |
| 82 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/no-dressing-up-her-honesty/ “No! YOU make dress look fat!]] Dress make you look purple.” |
| 83 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-wide-bride-divide/ This shallow lady]] promised her friends they'd all get to be bridesmaids for her wedding, then deliberately "forgot" to invite the ones that were skinnier or prettier than her. |
| 84 | * DopeSlap: [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-so-merry-men/ This one,]] for thinking that Errol Flynn was in ''Film/RobinHoodMenInTights''. |
| 85 | * DoubleStandard: [[http://notalwaysright.com/stop-ramming-atheism-down-my-throat-so-i-can-ram-religion-down-yours/ In this story]], an Atheist's Catholic friend doesn't like the former writing in the Bible and making jokes about it since they consider it very rude and offensive, yet the Catholic friend sees no problem if the same thing happened to the Quran. |
| 86 | * DrivesLikeCrazy: |
| 87 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/shouldering-this-prediction/119733/ This lady]], whom the submitter correctly predicts is going to cause an accident. |
| 88 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/reaching-new-heights-of-friendship/157920/ This aviation major roommate]] ''flies'' like crazy, as the submitter soon discovers when she talks them into accompanying her on a flying lesson. |
| 89 | * EarWorm: [[https://notalwaysright.com/and-now-you-too/31968/ A text between friends]] shows how easy it is to get the song, [[Series/TheMuppetShow "Mahna-Mahna"]], stuck in one's head. |
| 90 | * EmbarrassingDampSheets: [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-number-one-reason-to-tell-you/29687/ This 9-year-old girl]] is strangely eager to show her adult male neighbor her bedwetting diaper. The man is understandably speechless. |
| 91 | * EmbarrassingRingtone: [[https://notalwaysright.com/this-car-ride-is-going-south-park-2/31661/ This person's brother]] secretly changed their ringtone to "Kyle's Mom Is A Big Fat B***" from ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark,'' and then called their phone while they were driving a van full of elderly women. |
| 92 | * EngagingConversation: [[http://notalwaysright.com/boy-meets-girl-literally/ Here]]. |
| 93 | * EntertaininglyWrong: [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-rumor-mill-comes-to-a-grinding-halt/251858/ This gossip]] assumes the split between a couple is because the husband had an affair, and calls to tell the wife's friend... who is visiting with the wife at the time. Not only does she set the story straight, she ''royally'' tells off the gossip for making assumptions. |
| 94 | * EntitledBastard: |
| 95 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-internet-is-littered-with-jerks/230136/ The social media page for a litter-pick group]] gets a request from a local resident to have his street cleared. Unfortunately it turns out that they don't have any volunteers living in his area, but this just sets the man off, complaining that it's unfair and he has as much right as anyone else. He doesn't seem to comprehend the fact that it's ''[[ComplainingAboutThingsYouHaventPaidFor a free service provided by volunteers]] out of the goodness of their own hearts'', not something he or anyone else has any 'right' to. They end up having to boot him out and set the page to private, leaving a lot of people upset that their community-spirited efforts were getting this reaction. |
| 96 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/great-zucchini-heist/90025/ This guy]] steals all the vegetables from his neighbors' gardens and resells them at a farmer's market, with his only excuse being that nobody told him he couldn't do it. He later gets arrested for stealing another neighbor's show-quality lop rabbits so he could kill and eat them. |
| 97 | * EskimosArentReal: "[[https://notalwaysright.com/on-a-wild-mongoose-chase/31387/ Did you know mongoose is a real animal?!]]" |
| 98 | * EvenEvilHasStandards: "There's a long list of crimes I'm willing to commit, but [[https://notalwaysright.com/nobody-likes-a-litterbug/210114/ littering isn't one of them]]." |
| 99 | * EvilIsPetty: Invoked [[http://notalwaysright.com/finish-his-plate-in-less-than-12-parsnips/ here]] -- a person dressed up as [[AntiVillain Darth Vader]] tells a boy to not eat his vegetables, and when questioned later as to why, another member of the group points out that they ''are'' evil. |
| 100 | * ExhaustionInducedIdiocy: [[https://notalwaysright.com/this-scam-wasnt-a-smashing-success-or-was-it/292468/ This roommate]], who is noted to be TheDitz to an extent, is woken up at an ungodly hour by a phone scammer, doesn't fall for the scam, but interprets their call to mean that someone is watching him through his computer. So he opts to ''smash his computer to pieces with a hammer''. |
| 101 | * FailedASpotCheck: |
| 102 | ** More like "Failed a Taste Test" - [[https://notalwaysright.com/your-health-is-bananas/ this fruit fanatic]] failed to notice for most of their life that they had an allergic response to bananas. They thought the sour, burning sensation was how they were ''supposed'' to taste. (Then again, how would they know differently?) |
| 103 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-comic-misunderstanding/132348/ A dad accidentally reprimands someone else's daughter]] when he thought his own was about to read an age-inappropriate book at a bookstore, not seeing the girl's face until it's too late. |
| 104 | ** While giving a ride to a friend and her brother, the submitter mentions she had a baby, which the brother drily comments was obvious. The friend assumes it's a dig at the submitter's weight and jumps to her defense, but it's actually just [[https://notalwaysright.com/her-defense-is-sweet-but-unnecessary/244528/ that the back of the car is full of car seats]]. |
| 105 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/even-a-please-wouldnt-have-helped-this-one/301771/ A woman in an airport]] demands somebody get out of her way, intending to barrel her way past them if they don't. They move out of the way at the last moment... and she walks straight into the pillar they were leaning against. |
| 106 | * TheFarmerAndTheViper: [[https://notalwaysright.com/beat-entitlement-beat-level/92224/ While on board a plane]], the submitter plays what is all but stated to be a UsefulNotes/NintendoSwitch, and when a little boy wants a turn with it, he agrees to let him play after he finishes the level he's on. Cue the boy's mother coming in, who after failing to get the submitter to hand it over before he's finished, tries to steal the console for her son by claiming that the submitter was the one who stole it. The boy eventually does get his turn despite his mother's erratic behavior. [[https://notalwaysright.com/pokemon-go-away/88983/ A very similar story]] plays out pretty much the same way as the previous one, but with a pair of [[UsefulNotes/NintendoDS DSs]] instead. |
| 107 | * FelonyMisdemeanor: [[http://notalwaysright.com/their-own-definition-of-resident-evil/ These girls]] were actually considering reporting the submitter to the police for animal abuse, because they killed a monster in a video game that vaguely resembled a dog. |
| 108 | * FilchingFoodForFun: [[https://notalwaysright.com/your-girlfriends-hot-but-she-needs-to-go/240523/ This girl]] keeps taking food from her boyfriend's fridge he shares with his roommate, even if the food belongs to said roommate. Interestingly, she breaks off the relationship on her own when her boyfriend won't make his roommate apologize for putting chili peppers in the fridge [[NeverMyFault (which wouldn't have been a problem if she hadn't stolen them after being told not to)]]. |
| 109 | * FluffyTheTerrible: [[https://notalwaysright.com/attacking-very-ladylike/ A cat named Little Girl]] is, apparently, very protective when her owner is being verbally assaulted. |
| 110 | * ForTheEvulz: [[https://notalwaysright.com/i-bust-the-windows-out-your-car/230906/ A guy who's going around kicking over inukshuks]] (a humanoid figure made of stacked rocks) at a breakwater actually answers “Hey, man, you just trying to be a d**k?” with "Yep!" |
| 111 | * FreakyFashionMildMind: When [[https://notalwaysright.com/tragedy-often-exposes-kindness-in-strange-places/245332/ an expectant mother]] is in danger of being trampled by a crowd panic in New York on September 11, 2001, [[InvokedTrope she asks the biggest, scariest-looking biker she can find to help her get to safety]]. |
| 112 | * TheFriendNobodyLikes: [[http://notalwaysright.com/toying-with-the-annoying/ "If you feel that way, why don’t you just stop being friends with him?"]] |
| 113 | * FromTheMouthsOfBabes: |
| 114 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/barbed-barbie-comments/ "Better my Barbie looks like a boy than a slut like yours."]] |
| 115 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/found-in-translation/ This little girl]] wants to give the car of a housemate who ReallyGetsAround a name, and says that it should be named "Puta" (Spanish for Whore), and her friend quotes the trope name verbatim in response. |
| 116 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/vaccinations-against-nazis/151362/ This little girl]]'s reaction to an anti-vaxxer's moronic ranting: |
| 117 | --->"Mummy, is this what stupid looks like?" |
| 118 | ** "[[https://notalwaysright.com/reading-is-life/255104/ What would you do if you couldn't read?]]" "...Die?" |
| 119 | * GenderBlenderName: [[http://notalwaysright.com/barking-up-the-wrong-family-tree/ This one.]] Awkward... |
| 120 | * GlobalIgnorance: [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-great-wall-of-ignorance/ Someone]] who is so incapable of telling [[InterchangeableAsianCultures China and Japan apart]] that they think the Great Wall '''of China''' is in Japan. |
| 121 | * GrammarCorrectionGag: [[http://notalwaysright.com/theyd-had-a-friendship-of-note/ This person]] annoys an ex-friend by correcting a poorly-written, insulting note. |
| 122 | * GroundhogDayLoop: [[http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-bear-repeating/ Discussed here,]] along with the [[TropeNamer trope]] [[Film/GroundhogDay namer]]. |
| 123 | * HangoverSensitivity: [[https://notalwaysright.com/not-happy-to-meet-your-happy/31719/ A watchstander]] on New Year's Day takes advantage of this by [[NoIndoorVoice shouting]] and pretending to be overly chipper to mess with hungover sailors. He ends up getting annoyed when he encounters a sailor who actually seems just as chipper as him. |
| 124 | * HelpImStuck: A magnetic collar results in [[https://notalwaysright.com/some-cats-have-magnetic-personalities/256285/ this poor kitten]] becoming a living fridge magnet. |
| 125 | * HeroicBystander: This woman took charge on realizing [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-talkative-toddler-saves-the-day/220682/ her neighbor needed medical attention]]. She climbed over the fence when the neighbor's toddler alerted her about the situation while crying, and [[spoiler:saw that the poor mother wasn't breathing and bleeding from the head]]. The submitter called emergency services and performed CPR, before going along in the ambulance with the toddler, being unable to reach her father. [[spoiler:This ended up saving the woman's life and she made a full recovery.]] In the post itself, she's very modest, referring to the toddler as the real hero for getting help for her mother. |
| 126 | * HonoraryUncle: [[http://notalwaysright.com/cool-uncles-are-a-hit/ This guy]] declares himself uncle to a younger friend, lets her borrow his car for dates, and tells her to threaten any unruly boyfriends with her uncle's wrath. |
| 127 | * HoistByHisOwnPetard: [[https://notalwaysright.com/when-life-gives-you-lemonade-stands-you-get-yourself-evicted/249320/ A few kids in a rural neighborhood]] decide to set up a lemonade stand to raise money for the nearby children’s hospital, as a way to thank them for helping their friend after he got injured in a farming accident. A busy-bodying neighbor (who the submitter refers to as the HOA monster due to her attempting to micromanage everything her neighbors do) assumes that they’re committing charity fraud because the leader of the project is Hispanic, so she calls the cops on them. It turns out that one of the two deputies responding to her complaint is Hispanic himself, [[YouKnowImBlackRight something that the busybody doesn’t realize until after she threw slurs about Hispanics around]]. After the two deputies are convinced that the kids do intend to donate the money, the HOA monster then claims that they had no right to have the stand without a permit and [[ItsAllAboutMe nobody asked her if it was okay to run it in “her” neighborhood]]. The deputies, already sick of her antics at this point, tell her that in this area, roadside stands don’t ''need'' a permit or anybody’s permission except for the property owner’s (the stand is on the Hispanic kid’s property and his dad helped the kids set it up in the first place). The submitter, also sick of her, proceeds to ask the HOA monster where her two under-five children are. She snidely replies that they’re playing in her backyard pool, making the submitter point out that [[MissingChild she left two very young kids all by themselves in a swimming pool in order to bully some other kids]]. Suddenly, the deputies get worried about the HOA monster's children (both were thankfully fine) and [[LaserGuidedKarma the child endangerment investigation the HOA monster gets slapped with results in her being forced to move out of the neighborhood three weeks later]]. Furthermore, the HOA monster called the local newspaper with the story about her "stopping the fraud", [[HumiliationConga so one of the reporters witnessed the whole thing and put the story in the newspaper, making sure that everybody else in town would be well aware of what she did]]. |
| 128 | * HorribleCampingTrip: [[https://notalwaysright.com/they-should-be-sent-to-bootcamp/108382/ This messy story]], where a family camping trip is turned into the camping trip from Hell by a family friend who invited them along with his free-loading inconsiderate frat boy buddies. Within two days they eat the entire supply of food (including eggs meant for a diabetic grandfather), "forget" to get ice for their drinks and uncooked burgers and hot dogs when they left the coolers open and instead return with more raw chicken than the family can eat (resulting in them wasting hundreds of dollars' worth of food), leave a mess everywhere that attracts wild animals -- including a bear, lose the then-young submitter on an excursion, and smoke weed around the kids, all while remaining completely oblivious to the obvious misery of everyone else on the trip. Needless to say, the family [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere threw in the towel and went home well before the trip was supposed to be over]] and never went camping with them again, and the submitter mentions that it caused their grandmother to never go on another camping trip with anybody ever again. |
| 129 | * HumiliationConga: [[https://notalwaysright.com/an-emotional-victory/134673/ This chess player]] gets hit with a pretty big one after his decision to [[UnsportsmanlikeGloating relentlessly taunt and harass]] the defending champion after beating him. First, he gets disqualified on the spot for his poor sportsmanship. Then, he gets kicked out of the tournament and [[PersonaNonGrata banned from it for life]] after he throws a tantrum. He then ''[[FrivolousLawsuit tries to sue the tournament]]'', and gets laughed out of court thanks to the large amount of witnesses that saw what happened. This in turn gets him [[HoistByHisOwnPetard blacklisted from every tournament in the state]]. |
| 130 | * HurricaneOfPuns: [[http://notalwaysright.com/kitchen-pots-and-puns/ A heavy seasoning of kitchen puns]]. |
| 131 | * HypocriticalHumor: |
| 132 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/skipped-the-last-couple-commandments/ This Christian person]] castigates a non-religious neighbor for performing minor physical labor on Good Friday, [[FeelingOppressedByTheirExistence because someone else not following his beliefs is inconsiderate to him]]. The submitter counters by asking if, following this logic, he honors Muslim religious holidays so as not to be inconsiderate towards them, and is met with a [[NoIndoorVoice screamed]] [[ItsAllAboutMe "BURN IN HELL!"]] |
| 133 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/coffee-is-good-as-there-is-no-proof/ One roommate tells another,]] "You shouldn't drink so much coffee. That s***'s like poison, it'll kill you." She then drinks straight out of the bottle of vodka she's holding. |
| 134 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/wasnt-expecting-that-twist/ A person]] who thinks roller coasters are dangerous wants to chase tornadoes when they're older. |
| 135 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/steel-yourself-for-some-stealing/ This elderly lady]] refuses to accept a subway ticket as a gift from a total stranger because she thinks that would be "stealing" from them. She is instead intent on sneaking into the subway train behind that stranger, which ''is'' a crime. As the submitter actually has to point out to her, "You're a Christian and you don't want me to make(sic) a good deed?" |
| 136 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/irony-is-effortless/ "It's funny. In being lazy,]] [[LaboriousLaziness I actually did something that required more effort."]] |
| 137 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-womans-gotta-do/ This guy]] accuses the submitter of being a "fake nerd girl" who only dressed up to impress a guy but doesn't know who she's actually dressed up as. She responds by singing a verse from [[WebVideo/DoctorHorriblesSingAlongBlog "Brand New Day"]]... and ''he'' doesn't recognize it, or the fact that the submitter is ''dressed'' as Dr. Horrible. |
| 138 | *** Same deal [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-venomous-reaction/ here]], where a teenager walks up to the submitter to tell her that "wearing a ComicBook/{{Spawn}} hoodie doesn't make you a real geek". She nonchalantly tells him it's actually a ComicBook/{{Venom}} hoodie. |
| 139 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/it-takes-a-generation-to-pee/ This old lady]] loudly complains about how the submitter's generation has no manners, as she actively prevents him from using a public restroom for half an hour. |
| 140 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/having-a-bleached-blonde-moment/123311/ A store greeter]] ridicules the submitter over their dyed hair when the greeter herself has dyed her own hair a very garish bleach blonde. |
| 141 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/shelter-me-from-sheltered-peoples-decisions/136802/ This old woman]] doesn't want to tell a white lie to a multinational cable company to lower her bills, as she feels it's wrong, yet she has no problem with trying to steal reusable chopsticks from a small family restaurant. |
| 142 | ** The man most vehement about illegal immigrants, to a nonwhite American living legally in Germany, turns out to be [[https://notalwaysright.com/flipping-off-and-flipping-out-over-foreigners/240507/ a Russian with an expired residency permit]], meaning '''he'''[='=]s the one there illegally! |
| 143 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/age-is-just-a-number-maturity-is-everything/200122/ This family with adult children aboard an airliner]] complains about kids being present in first class with them, and proceed to be easily more of a disturbance than the kids ever were. |
| 144 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/acting-like-the-first-three-letters-from-assume/115608/ “Did she just assume I was someone else, and then yell at me for assuming?”]] |
| 145 | * IdenticalStranger: [[https://notalwaysright.com/slippers-sneakers-and-tighty-whities-are-next/196082/ These two cats]], to the point where the submitter and their neighbour make a point of giving them differently coloured collars to tell them apart. |
| 146 | * IRejectYourReality: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-earth-moved-for-everyone-except-you/ This roommate]] slept through an earthquake and the aftershocks, complaining when his other roommates tried to wake him. When they point out news reports, and all the contents on social media, his response? "Massive conspiracy." |
| 147 | * ImplausibleDeniability: |
| 148 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/finally-got-to-dish-the-dirt/ This reprehensible roommate]] ate from her absent roommates' dishes so it would look like they were the ones leaving dirty dishes in the sink, not her. |
| 149 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/life-is-stranger-than-stolen-fiction/31836/ This woman]] takes a book from the submitter at a bus stop and refuses to give it back, immediately claiming that the book is hers. When the police come, the woman claims that the book is hers and that the submitter is trying to steal it, even though ''several witnesses'' back up the submitter both before and after the police arrive. |
| 150 | * ImprobableAge: Brought up in [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-drums-of-life-keep-on-swinging/162872/ this story]], where a church's music director is unsure about letting a fourteen-year-old from the church's youth band play drums for the main service, but relents immediately when the submitter (the teenager's mother) points out that the director joined an orchestra when he was ''nine''. Less than a week later the teenager gets the main service position on a more permanent basis when the previous main service drummer gets caught at his girlfriend's house by his wife. |
| 151 | * InappropriateHunger: Far from being afraid or grossed out, [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-hungry-dead/28569/ this girl]] got hungry during a marathon of ''Series/TheWalkingDead''. "Hey, doesn't [[{{Gorn}} that]] look like sausage links to you guys?" |
| 152 | * InsaneTrollLogic: |
| 153 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/youll-forgive-mrs-lannister/92220/ This mother]] thinks it’s “disgusting” to have a brother and sister sleep in the same room because it supposedly encourages incest, even when it’s made clear that the brother and sister are two and five, respectively, and wouldn’t want to do anything of the sort. |
| 154 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/homocoholism/106288/ This poster's friend]] read that gays are more likely to be alcoholics, and decided that meant the poster was gay because he drank "too much" (despite drinking less than the friend does) and would go straight if she made him quit drinking. "Next stop: Ex-Friend City". |
| 155 | ** The submitter of [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-internet-if-its-outside-your-normal-experience-then-it-never-happened/178623/ this post]] frequently gives advice on an internet forum. A user accuses her of lying, because in one post she has a son and is a student, and in another she's an accountant with an autistic daughter. That she has TWO children, and quit her job to go back to college, seems not to have occurred to them. |
| 156 | * InsultBackfire: [[https://notalwaysright.com/ugly-surgery-cant-fix/92732/ One busybody lady]] insults the submitter, who is going for breast reduction surgery, by claiming that her husband will leave her for a "real woman" and body shames her by saying she should get tummy reduction. However, it doesn't work, since the submitter is a lesbian and it was her wife's idea for her to get the surgery. She proceeds to give the busybody an epic TakeThat by asking if she's there to fix a botched face-lift. |
| 157 | * ItsAllAboutMe: As can be seen on [[ItsAllAboutMe/NotAlwaysRight that trope's own page]]. |
| 158 | * {{Jerkass}}: As [[Jerkass/NotAlwaysRight the NAR omnibus page]] demonstrates. |
| 159 | * JerkassRealization: |
| 160 | ** After having an unannounced party at 4 in the morning and disturbing the submitter and their very young family, [[https://notalwaysright.com/make-some-noise-about-them-making-some-noise/130676/ a neighbor]] shows up at the submitter's door the next morning with gifts for everyone and apologizes for being inconsiderate. |
| 161 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-worldview-so-narrow-it-looks-like-a-chopstick/132352/ A Chinese girl teasing an American tourist for using a fork to eat instead of chopsticks and being too lazy to learn how to use chopsticks]] is embarrassed and apologizes profusely when said tourist explains that the only reason they can't use chopsticks right now is because their dominant wrist is injured. (Unfortunately, [[RacistGrandma the same cannot be said for the Chinese girl's mother]].) |
| 162 | ** When the local tax collector [[https://notalwaysright.com/death-and-taxes/29496/ dies unexpectedly]], the news apparently doesn't get to everyone in his jurisdiction. One taxpayer berates his daughter on the phone for several minutes until the daughter finally manages to inform the woman that he died, leaving the woman feeling (rather deservedly) guilty. |
| 163 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/your-attitude-is-shih-tzu/152781/ A man]] cusses out the submitter and their friend when they knock on the door of his house to see if a lost young puppy they just found belongs to him and his wife. Once he comes to the door and sees that they have said puppy, he is very embarrassed and apologizes, having just been angry and frustrated at being unable to find the lost puppy (who belongs to his daughter). |
| 164 | * KidsAreCruel: [[https://notalwaysright.com/28060-2/28060/ These]] Hispanic girls keep another on a swing and push her while they mock her for being white. The girl later becomes clinically depressed and suicidal because she later had to go to school in that area. |
| 165 | * KindheartedCatLover: [[https://notalwaysright.com/cat-your-service/218017/ This submitter's]] love for cats is seemingly exploited by a stray to get a full-body brush and trim. |
| 166 | * KnowNothingKnowItAll: [[http://notalwaysright.com/an-evergreen-state-even-during-twilight/ This submitter]] absolutely hates ''Literature/TheTwilightSaga'', not because [[ItsPopularNowItSucks it's "cool" to do so or whatever]], but because people who have never once set foot in Washington state think they know more about the place than the submitter who has ''lived'' there their entire life, thanks to that series.[[invoked]] |
| 167 | * LaboriousLaziness: [[http://notalwaysright.com/irony-is-effortless/ At least they realize it.]] |
| 168 | * LamePunReaction: [[https://notalwaysright.com/can-come-puns-sleep/ An escalating example here.]] |
| 169 | * LargeHam: [[https://notalwaysright.com/murdering-the-theater/ "This is all the magic of the theeeeeaaaaater!"]] |
| 170 | * LaserGuidedKarma: Now with [[LaserGuidedKarma/NotAlwaysRight its own page]]! |
| 171 | * LethalChef: |
| 172 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-toast-is-toast/ Whoever]] is preparing the food at this camp. |
| 173 | --->"Wow, I don't think toast is supposed to shatter like that." |
| 174 | ** An [[EskimosArentReal allergy denier]] [[https://notalwaysright.com/this-problem-is-no-small-potatoes/230039/ deliberately serves a potato casserole to a child guest with a known potato allergy]], then ''yells at the child for '''vomiting blood'''''. |
| 175 | * LethallyStupid: In [[https://notalwaysright.com/need-betta-friends/92206/ this story]], the submitter has a friend watch their pets and house while they're away, and comes back to find that the friend has gotten all their tropical fish killed if not mortally wounded by unplugging the heater for the tank containing tropical fish (“The water felt too warm, so I thought I’d let it cool down"), and put two male betta fish in the same tank, getting the one of them killed as well ("The tank looked so empty with only one fish in it, so I got him a friend!”). In addition, they decided it was a good idea to host weekly parties at the submitter's house without telling them, resulting in the submitter's cat fleeing the noise and getting shut out of the house in the middle of winter (thankfully a neighbour took her in). Suffice to say, their friendship did not last. |
| 176 | * LetMeGetThisStraight: [[http://notalwaysright.com/amazed-they-passed-the-bar/ Used here]] by the submitter questioning how a friend could think that a cocktail which has the word vodka in its name is non-alcoholic. Even worse, this friend is now a practicing lawyer. |
| 177 | * LiquidCourage: Used [[https://notalwaysright.com/warning-take-the-advice-of-writers-with-caution/250855/ here]] to overcome a case of writer's block, although the submitter points out it took a lot of editing once sober to make the result workable. |
| 178 | * LoopholeAbuse: [[InvokedTrope Invoked]] by [[https://notalwaysright.com/great-zucchini-heist/90025/ a neighbor]] when he's discovered to be stealing the submitters' grandparents' home-grown vegetables and selling them for profit. He asked nobody about it and [[NeverMyFault blames the grandparents]] for not telling him not to do it. [[LaserGuidedKarma He later gets arrested]] when it turns out he's also responsible for [[BadPeopleAbuseAnimals stealing]] and ''[[ChronicPetKiller eating]]'' another neighbor's prized pet rabbits. The submitter snarks that perhaps nobody told him he couldn't do that either. |
| 179 | * MailmanVsDog: {{Lampshaded}} in [[https://notalwaysright.com/barking-on-brand/155994/ this story]]. |
| 180 | -->'''Neighbour (to their dogs):''' “IT’S JUST THE MAILMAN! WOULD YOU STOP BEING A DOGGIE STEREOTYPE?!” |
| 181 | * {{Malaproper}}: [[https://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-nose-the-difference/29898/ This submitter's best friend]] thinks she needs to have her nose castrated. |
| 182 | * MamaBear: "[[https://notalwaysright.com/their-biggest-handicap-is-themself/115539/ Nobody has the right to talk to you like that.]]" |
| 183 | * ManInAKilt: [[http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-believe-in-skirting-around-the-issue/ This guy.]] |
| 184 | -->'''Woman''': People need to realize that celebrities are regular people. They put their pants on one leg at a time like everyone else.\ |
| 185 | '''Man''': ''(wearing a kilt, just passing by)'' I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't put pants on in years. |
| 186 | * TheMillstone: [[https://notalwaysright.com/riding-you-the-wrong-way/ In this story]], a woman asks the submitter and their dad if she and her son can ride with them to the submitter's basketball team's championship game, a ten-hour drive across one of Canada's largest provinces. The woman proves to be a hindrance to the submitter and dad, however. First, she stays at the school she works at long enough to have a long conversation with one of her friends while the submitter and her dad wait for them outside (thirty minutes wasted). Then they have to drive back to her house so they can pick up her son and their luggage, and the submitter's dad soon finds out that they ''hadn't even finished packing yet'' and were wasting time trying to remember where they were going to be staying at the destination town (another forty-five minutes wasted). Once they actually get to their destination, the woman protests that they need to go to where she and her son are staying before the submitter and their dad check in at the hotel, but at this point, the tired and fed-up dad just tells them to take a taxi. They later find out that the woman had a history of convincing other families to let her and her family ride with them and end up wasting their time doing things that were meaningless or should have already been done. The dad ultimately stays for the entire length of the championship, even though the submitter's team loses early in the event, just to spite her when she immediately wants to go back home. |
| 187 | * MinorInjuryOverreaction: [[https://notalwaysright.com/enough-to-put-you-in-a-blind-rage/256055/ This woman]] starts screaming at the top of her lungs that she is being attacked and is bleeding profusely when a mostly blind dog accidentally bumps into her. |
| 188 | * MistakenForServant: |
| 189 | ** In [[https://notalwaysright.com/really-gotta-work-on-your-delivery-with-new-neighbors/214018/ this story]], the OP is trying to warn a neighbor about the water being cut off to fix a leak, but the neighbor assumes they're a delivery driver come to pick up a parcel, and is too busy yelling at them for being late to let them explain. Eventually the OP gives up, puts the parcel down and goes back into their own house. Cue embarrassed expression as the neighbor [[HeelRealization realizes how stupid she's been]]. |
| 190 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/and-what-happens-when-you-assume-part-4/324508/ This racist neighbour]] observes the (white) submitter's great-niece (who's half-black but looks white) playing with her brother (who's equally half-black but looks vaguely Latino), and tells the submitter it's cute that he's letting his granddaughter play with his "housekeeper's son." Suffice to say, [[ReasonYouSuckSpeech the submitter corrects her]]. |
| 191 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-uniforms-a-uniform-right/301207/ This naval officer]] wears their "dinner dress" uniform to a friend's wedding, only for the bride's sister to mistake him for a waiter. |
| 192 | * MouthfulOfPi: How many digits do [[http://notalwaysright.com/friends-for-life-of-pi/ these two]] ''know?'' |
| 193 | * MushroomSamba: [[http://notalwaysright.com/your-friends-are-your-best-anti-drug-campaign/ Here]] is an example of use of an unspecified hallucinogenic substance that causes somebody to believe there are zombies after them. |
| 194 | * NeverHeardThatOneBefore: [[http://notalwaysright.com/does-not-like-warm-hugs/ This girl]] is probably sick of ''WesternAnimation/{{Frozen|2013}}''. |
| 195 | * NeverMyFault: |
| 196 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/dont-taco-and-drive/ This woman]] rear-ends somebody while going through her bag looking for food, and has the nerve to say after the accident, “Look what you did to my van!” |
| 197 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/his-dui-was-doa/ This guy]] who is mad at the cop who revoked his license after his ''third'' [=DUI=]! |
| 198 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/making-mad-dash-dash-cam/103731/ This woman]] comes across a truck on a very narrow one-lane road. [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveConnections Because her uncle owns the farm, she believes that she has right of way]] and the truck driver and the dozen cars behind her have to move to let her pass, which the submitter, who’s driving the truck, literally ''can’t'' (as the truck is too wide to allow her to pass). A driver behind the submitter sets her straight, forcing the woman to back up to a passing area. When she is unable to make the turn in reverse, she loses patience and backs into a fence. She immediately blames the submitter for crashing her car (stating outright that he did so directly), threatening to get him fired. The submitter is not amused and drives off, noting that she can call the company, and that his truck has a dashboard camera. The woman calls his boss, [[BlatantLies stating that the submitter threw her out of the car and drove it through the fence]]. The submitter shows his boss the footage, who [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech angrily yells at her for abusing staff and making fake claims.]] She attempts to give the same story to the insurance company, who similarly drops the case upon seeing the footage. |
| 199 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/horsing-around-and-being-a-horses-a/236680/ This mom]] tries to put the blame on the submitter when her young daughters get stuck in a pasture after jumping a fence to see the submitters' horses without the submitter's permission, to the point of basically saying: "Well, none of this would have happened if you didn't own the horses in the first place!". This earns her [[WhatTheHellHero an earful from the submitter's neighbors (her in-laws)]] while her embarrassed husband apologizes profusely for everything. |
| 200 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/your-girlfriends-hot-but-she-needs-to-go/240523/ This girl]] tries to blame her boyfriend's roommate for leaving "poisoned food" (actually spicy chilis) in the fridge when she's the one who [[FilchingFoodForFun stole and ate them after being told not to]]. |
| 201 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/another-person-who-shouldnt-have-pets/220155/ This dunce]] blames the submitter's family for their dog getting lost, then found and neutered… even though they didn't notice the dog was missing for a week, and the submitter's family found it killing ''their'' chickens. |
| 202 | * NoBisexuals: [[https://notalwaysright.com/saying-bi-friendship/103269/ This submitter's friend]] thinks that bisexuals are just gays that haven't come fully out of the closet yet, and keeps trying to hook the submitter up with men even while the submitter is engaged to a woman and has stopped talking with said "friend". |
| 203 | * NoPeriodsPeriod: [[http://notalwaysright.com/complimentary-tampons/ This poster]] tries to explain earplugs to her temporary roommate by using tampons as an example, forgetting that [[JustifiedTrope her roommate is a trans woman]] and has never needed to use tampons. |
| 204 | * NoSenseOfDirection: [[https://notalwaysright.com/loopy-lost-and-looking-for-learning/323656/ These two guys]] were told by their parents that they'd never be able to figure out the way to their university by themselves. From the look of things, their parents were right. |
| 205 | * NostalgiaFilter: [[http://notalwaysright.com/scouting-around-for-the-truth/ This dad]] gets called out on it. |
| 206 | * NoHoldsBarredBeatdown: |
| 207 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/explosions-leading-to-explosions-leading-to-lawsuits/299282/ A quartet of angry dads]] run down and pummel a trio of rude neighbors who were firing bottle rockets on a crowded street after one rocket hits one of their wives in the face (severely burning her in the process), after the quartet had politely asked them to stop. While the cops can't do anything more than a light warning (since no one is interested in snitching on the dads), the family of the injured woman takes the three to court and ultimately runs them out of the neighborhood. |
| 208 | ** After [[https://notalwaysright.com/with-a-mama-bear-like-that-this-cub-didnt-stand-a-chance/273960/ this snotty kid]] pulls the hair of the OP's four-year-old daughter, ten of his Cub Scout mates, who have had to put up with his bullying for the past two years, run over and beat the crap out of him. |
| 209 | * NoTrueScotsman: [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-sin-ple-explanation/ This lady]] seems to think that she is the sole authority on what is Christian and what is not. Anyone who does not fall into her (from what we're shown, very warped) idea of what is Christian, she will make up wild stories about to get them banned from the church - in the submitter's case, she claimed they told her they were a Satanist, [[FelonyMisdemeanor because they happened to have been born on Christmas Day]]. [[HoistByHisOwnPetard She ends up being the one banned from the church]], presumably because she blatantly ignored that Commandment against bearing false witness--one too many times, if the usher's reaction is any indication. |
| 210 | * NotThatKindOfDoctor: Invoked by [[http://notalwaysright.com/communicated-your-way-out-of-that-one/ this lady]] to shut up a stranger pushing her to use either the stranger or one of the stranger's students as a [[http://www.webmd.com/baby/what-is-a-doula delivery coach]] when the baby is ready to be born. |
| 211 | -->My husband is a doctor.\ |
| 212 | ''(I neglected to mention that my husband’s doctorate is a Ph.D. in communications.)'' |
| 213 | * ObviouslyEvil: [[https://notalwaysright.com/villainous-spoilers/31512/ This submitter]] instantly points at a woman in the movie as being a villain, which turns out to be right and the big [[TheReveal reveal]] of the movie. Her friends, who had previously seen the movie, asked her what made her say so. "Only villains have [[EvilEyebrows thick, dark eyebrows]] in movies." |
| 214 | * OneSideOfTheStory: [[https://notalwaysright.com/floodlighting-your-feed-with-the-truth/298793/ This nasty neighbor]] posts an out-of-context picture of a car supposedly noisily rocketing down the road at half past 3 in the morning and waking him up. Commenters are on his side until the car's owner chimes in with ''their'' version of events, backed up by dash cam footage: the car is electric so wasn't anywhere near as noisy as the neighbor is implying it was, especially since they were driving at 9mph, which is hardly "speeding like their a** is on fire"; they have to be at work by 4am so have an actual reason to be driving at this seemingly ridiculous time; and the security camera he's using is configured in such a way that its floodlight is set off by cars on the ''opposite side of the road'', and said floodlight is so bright that the dash cam footage whites out and shows that they were forced to slow down because they were dazzled. The moment the owner chimes in, the commenters become hostile towards the neighbor, and unable to defend himself due to the damning dash cam footage, he ends up deleting the post and reconfiguring his security camera to only be set off by things going onto his property. |
| 215 | * OOCIsSeriousBusiness: [[https://notalwaysright.com/your-money-or-your-life/ The submitter's mother-in-law]] sees that her uncle had given her $500 out of nowhere. Given that he's a tightwad, [[OhCrap she immediately knows something is wrong.]] Sure enough, they discover that he had attempted suicide. Luckily, they reach him in time and he recovers. |
| 216 | * {{Omniglot}}: [[https://notalwaysright.com/you-effed-up-in-every-language/31802/ This guy.]] |
| 217 | * OrAreYouJustHappyToSeeMe: Invoked [[http://notalwaysright.com/pizza-eventually-equals-happiness/ here.]] |
| 218 | * OrphanedPunchline: [[http://notalwaysright.com/atm-is-a-hamburglar/ The end result of this story]]. |
| 219 | * PapaWolf: [[https://notalwaysright.com/they-are-disabling-themselves-with-their-ignorance/120656/ Do NOT insult this man's daughter]]. One OffscreenMomentOfAwesome later, he's driven the bully to tears. The comments contain a story about a MamaBear in a similar situation as well. |
| 220 | * ParkingPayback: |
| 221 | ** In [[http://notalwaysright.com/you-reap-what-you-tow/ this ]] story a young woman steals the submitter's assigned parking space at the apartment complex where the submitter lives. After reasoning with the woman just gets the submitter insulted, the submitter simply informs the manager, who has the offending woman's car towed. |
| 222 | ** A couple find their reserved parking space at the apartment complex [[https://notalwaysright.com/time-give-space/97210/ repeatedly taken by a local business owner]]. When confrontation fails and there's nothing apartment management or security can do, they end up parking their car behind her BMW, blocking it into the space... and then leave for a two-week vacation. [[CoolAndUnusualPunishment She has to take public transit until they return]]. |
| 223 | ** After shoveling snow so their visiting uncle can park, the narrator finds that [[https://notalwaysright.com/that-snow-way-to-behave-2/108000/ a stranger has stolen the cleared spot]]. So they [[CoolAndUnusualPunishment put the snow back... all of it]]. "If this person wanted this spot so badly, then they could do the work for it." |
| 224 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-movershakers-of-the-world/31787/ This woman]] is mad that the submitter isn't driving forward to get onto the main road. She goes ballistic to the point that she gets out of the car (leaving the driver embarrassed) and presses her face against the window and even begins rattling the lock. Fortunately, it only takes one loud honk to scare her off. |
| 225 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/all-this-space/253560/ This lady]] harasses a stranger for a parking space in the middle of an empty parking lot, and is ''shocked'' when the stranger [[PrecisionFStrike curses her out]] in retaliation. |
| 226 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/even-mother-nature-hates-your-stupid-car/247251/ This guy]] tries to reserve five cars' worth of parking spaces to protect his fancy sports car, much to his neighbours' frustration. Later, when [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2010_eruptions_of_Eyjafjallaj%C3%B6kull the eruption of Eyjafjallajökull]] deposits volcanic ash onto his car, he tries washing it off. The submitter tries to advise him against this, but the guy tells them to "f*** off," so the submitter relents, opting ''not'' to tell him that washing volcanic ash off his car with water is a good way to scour off the paintjob… |
| 227 | * PokeThePoodle: [[https://notalwaysright.com/finish-his-plate-in-less-than-12-parsnips/ Behold]], [[Franchise/StarWars Darth Vader]] telling a little boy he doesn't have to eat his vegetables. |
| 228 | * PoorCommunicationKills: [[https://notalwaysright.com/women-shouldnt-have-to-be-embarrassed-by-this-period/179338/ This girl]] gets her period while hanging out with both long-time friends and some new friends, who are mostly guys. She has no feminine products and the one other girl doesn't have any. She doesn't want to explain what's going on (since it's a feminine issue, obviously) so she makes vague excuses to leave so she can get supplies at the pharmacy. Later, the girl's long-time friends tell her that the new friends don't want to hang out with her anymore because they thought she was acting weird and that she was a "psycho-loner-paranoid-b***". Several comments point out that she [[CouldHaveAvoidedThisPlot could have told them anyway or just said that she needed to get something at the pharmacy]] and they probably would have understood. |
| 229 | * PopCulturalOsmosisFailure: A type 3 version occurs [[https://notalwaysright.com/in-his-darkest-night/ here.]] |
| 230 | * PrecociousCrush: Crossed with GeekyTurnOn: "[[https://notalwaysright.com/transformed-something-wonderful/92202/ Mommy, she likes Optimus Prime, too! Can I marry her?]]" |
| 231 | * ProducePelting: [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-core-of-petty-revenge/311153/ This submitter]] threw a bad apple from their apartment balcony at a carful of people taĺking loudly late at night and keeping them up. It successfully drove them away. |
| 232 | * RealJokeName: [[http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-fall-for-the-riddle/ This story]] features a [[Literature/HarryPotter Voldemort]] cosplayer whose name ''really is'' Tom Riddle. |
| 233 | * RacialFaceBlindness: [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-sister-act/ These two]] decide to mess with a kid who thinks this. |
| 234 | * RacistGrandma: [[http://notalwaysright.com/should-just-stick-to-racing/ This old lady]] actually calls the police on a black kid convinced he was up to no good. When his friends assure her that isn't the case, she flat-out tells them they shouldn't make friends with black people. |
| 235 | ** An ableist grandma [[https://notalwaysright.com/we-wouldnt-want-any-of-this-grandmas-cookies/240804/ here]] discourages her grandson being friends with a one-legged girl in his class, because [[InsaneTrollLogic she'll make him mentally disabled]]. The girl's older sibling points out how that's literally not possible because a) mental disability is not contagious and b) the girl is herself not mentally disabled, just missing a leg, but the grandma just walks away, dragging her grandson with her. |
| 236 | ** In a similar vein, [[https://notalwaysright.com/you-run-into-some-real-animals-at-the-zoo/218033/ this old woman]] nosily and insensitively tells a kid who uses crutches that she should stop eating burgers as to not gain weight and then gets concerned because the kid is hanging out with her black cousin. |
| 237 | * ReflexiveResponse: [[http://notalwaysright.com/receiving-a-habitual-dressing-down/ This woman]] is apparently so used to negative commentary about her multiple tattoos and piercings that she responds negatively to a compliment before realizing what the other person said. |
| 238 | * RefugeInAudacity: Attempted but ultimately failed by [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-sin-ple-explanation/ this Christian lady]], who has very strict views on what is and is not Christian, and if anyone in her church falls short of those, she makes up stories about them to get them banned from the church, such as claiming a teen mother admitted to having raped the father of her child and that a bi-curious boy admitted to organizing weekly orgies. We're not told much of what she made up about the submitter after they said they happened to be born on Christmas Day, but it was apparently ''so'' wildly exaggerated that the church cottoned on, investigated her other claims, and [[HoistByHisOwnPetard ultimately banned her from the church]] while welcoming back those she'd had unjustly removed. |
| 239 | * RelativeError: A lady tries to shame an older man for [[https://notalwaysright.com/whats-that-saying-about-what-happens-when-you-assume/188003/ having dinner at a restaurant with a girl young enough to be his daughter]]. The man replies that the girl in question ''is'' his daughter, shaming the nosy lady instead for making assumptions. |
| 240 | * RetroactiveRecognition: An InUniverse [[https://notalwaysright.com/even-crazier-that-he-is-jack-the-ripper/181805/ example]] as two friends watch ''Film/TwelveAngryMen'' and one of them points out that one of the jurors was the voice of [[WesternAnimation/TheManyAdventuresOfWinnieThePooh Piglet]]. |
| 241 | * RichInDollarsPoorInSense: [[http://notalwaysright.com/life-lessons-forfrom-the-young/ This wealthy mother]] thinks it's weird that some women could just give money to a homeless man. At least her son understands. |
| 242 | * RightForTheWrongReasons: [[https://notalwaysright.com/thanoss-good-ideas-continue-to-pay-off-somehow/196913/ This student on a ski trip]] is paranoid about injury on the slopes so he decks himself in thick golden armour (earning him the moniker [[Characters/MarvelComicsThanos "Thanos"]]), which earns him mockery from a number of people, including the submitter. They laugh a little less when "Thanos" finds himself accosted by two rude and racist women who start punching him and hitting him with their ski poles. Afterward, "Thanos" chuckles that thanks to his armour, he hardly felt a thing. |
| 243 | * RoadTripAcrossTheStreet: [[https://notalwaysright.com/power-automotive-industry/100878/ This poster's roommate]] can't figure out how he'll [[MustHaveCaffeine get his coffee]] while his car is being repaired... what do you mean, it's only a two-minute walk to the coffee shop? |
| 244 | * SarcasticConfession: "[[https://notalwaysright.com/making-bold-statement/99211/ I just robbed (Supermarket)!]]" |
| 245 | * ScrewPolitenessImASenior: [[https://notalwaysright.com/age-old-competition/98534/ One old lady]] tries to cut in line, using her age as an excuse. The lady she tries to cut in front of, however, points out that she's even older and tells her to get back in line. |
| 246 | * SeenItAll: [[https://notalwaysright.com/youll-be-the-butt-of-the-nurses-jokes/138637/ This poster is a nurse]] who is completely blasé when one of their roommates asks them to drive her boyfriend to the hospital after a sexual AssShove gone wrong, saying that the hospital staff has seen quite enough of that kind of stuff to not care. |
| 247 | * SeriousBusiness: [[https://notalwaysright.com/dont-get-so-heated-youll-melt-your-ice/308165/ This woman]] is so insistent that ''everybody'' puts ice in their drinks that when the submitter doesn't do so, she tries to make them do so and then complains about them to a restaurant employee when the submitter still doesn't. (The submitter leaves, very confused, before they can see what happened next.) |
| 248 | * ShameIfSomethingHappened: The OP in [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-key-to-decent-parking/31642/ this story]] says as much when two women park their nice new convertible in spots reserved for parents with small children. |
| 249 | * SeparatedByACommonLanguage: Sadly for OP's "friend" in [[https://notalwaysright.com/pardon-my-french-3/92230/ this story]], thanks to being thousands of miles apart, Canadian French and Cajun French are quite different from each other, so much so that fluent speakers of either languages have trouble understanding each other. However, the Canadian finds the Cajun's version of French fascinating and invites her ([[SnubByOmission alone]]) to the party to learn more about it. |
| 250 | * SherlockScan: [[https://notalwaysright.com/knack-attack/ This girl is good at it.]] |
| 251 | * ShoutOut: |
| 252 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/far-too-blues-collared-to-get-it/ This person]] thinks a friend of theirs just admitted to being a smoker; the submitter assures her he did not, after guessing that said friend also said something about [[Film/TheBluesBrothers it being dark and him wearing sunglasses]]. |
| 253 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/humanity-is-a-bit-smudged/ This story,]] intentionally or otherwise, is reminiscent of [[http://youtu.be/m-xigtYlm3E a particular scene]] from ''Manga/AttackOnTitan''. |
| 254 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-bear-repeating/ This one]] is one big shout out to ''Film/GroundhogDay''. |
| 255 | * SkewedPriorities: |
| 256 | ** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/cant-afford-a-new-lease-of-life/ You're letting [your mom's cancer] ruin your life!]]" |
| 257 | ** The thief in [[https://notalwaysright.com/making-bold-statement/99211/ this one]] decided begging a cigarette off a bar patron was more important than escaping the police. Or maybe he gave up and wanted a smoke before he got arrested. |
| 258 | ** Someone was apparently willing to shill out $700 USD a month for a two-bedroom apartment with good transit connections… [[https://notalwaysright.com/living-the-life-millennials-can-only-dream-of/291721/ for no one but their cat]]. |
| 259 | * StatingTheSimpleSolution: A hobby model builder/painter is shocked that one of his fellow hobbyists is colorblind, and [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-very-model-of-a-modern-major-idiot/243279/ wonders how they can know the colors are right]]. The colorblind hobbyist replies that they ''read the labels on the paints''. |
| 260 | * StayInTheKitchen: |
| 261 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-joke-is-on-him/ This guy]] ''really'' doesn't want to accept the fact that there are female ''Franchise/{{Batman}}'' fans out there. Even when she proves she knows more about the series than he does, and even after his friend calls him an asshole over it, he still continues insisting that the submitter is a "fake" geek. Somehow. |
| 262 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-built-like-a-tank-but-can-carry-one/ This guy]] refuses to accept that a woman is not having any trouble carrying a ten-gallon fish tank and, even after she repeatedly tells him it's fine, forcibly takes it from her - only to immediately drop and shatter it because it's too heavy for him. He then promptly goes the NeverMyFault route, acting as though she ''forced'' him to carry it just so he'd drop it and injure himself and, when she and her boyfriend find him and force him to pay for a replacement, only getting her a five-gallon one, saying, [[IRejectYourReality "Maybe you won't drop it this time."]] |
| 263 | ** While preparing to substitute for her brother as tabletop game master, [[https://notalwaysright.com/dragons-are-fine-but-female-gamers-come-on/214310/ this girl]] is told by two classmates that "girls can't roleplay". Then when the brother tells his gaming group that his sister is going to be GM, ''all of them refuse to attend''. |
| 264 | * StrangeMindsThinkAlike: |
| 265 | ** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/they-swear-by-each-other/ F***!]]" |
| 266 | ** "[[https://notalwaysright.com/taking-a-leaf-out-of-each-others-books/30729/ It's the]] [[WesternAnimation/TheLionKing1994 circle of liiiiife!]]" |
| 267 | * StrawFeminist: The poster's friend's friend in [[https://notalwaysright.com/femi-non-ism/30472/ this story]] takes exception to the very idea of her enjoying cooking for her boyfriend, claiming she's been brainwashed by the patriarchy into believing she belongs [[StayInTheKitchen in the kitchen]]. Both the poster and her friend point out that, in fact, feminism means she can do what she wants, including the cooking if she desires (oh, and by the way, she's also ''teaching him to cook''.) |
| 268 | * StrawVegetarian: [[https://notalwaysright.com/vega-gaga-nism/120660/ This student]], widely known for jumping on fads solely for the "prestige" of being in favor of that fad, decided to go vegan and announced this by verbally abusing a fellow student eating a burger. By the second day, he'd had it with her and threw his burger patty at her face. Within a month, she'd gone back to eating meat: |
| 269 | --> Turns out she hopped into veganism without doing even the slightest bit of research, and malnourished herself into the hospital. |
| 270 | * SuddenlyFluentInGibberish: [[http://notalwaysright.com/i-have-no-words/ This girl]]. |
| 271 | * TalkingInYourSleep: [[https://notalwaysright.com/we-can-all-be-darks-on-the-patio/121767/ One guy on a camping trip]] begins spouting off non-sequiturs in his sleep, much to his friend's confusion. |
| 272 | * TastesLikeFeet: |
| 273 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/must-have-tried-some-every-flavor-beans/ To one girl, dandelion juice takes like earwax.]] Her friend wonders how she knows that. |
| 274 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/weeding-out-the-farm-breds/ “That’s... oddly specific. Do you have experience with that?”]] |
| 275 | ** [[https://notalwaysright.com/probably-knows-because-of-too-much-beer/ “Do I want to know how you know what kitty litter tastes like?”]] |
| 276 | * ThanksForTheMammaries: When an irritated neighbor goes on a rampage in the gym locker room, [[https://notalwaysright.com/curtains-public-nudity/94348/ this shy submitter's more confident friend]] body-blocks the angry woman from the submitter's stall and, since she was reaching for the shower curtain at the time, accidentally gives her a handful. The woman is more horrified that she touched a boob than the friend is at having the boob touched. |
| 277 | * ThatCameOutWrong: [[https://notalwaysright.com/getting-colder/ "Fuck them. Wait, no, I'm wrong. Don't do that."]] |
| 278 | ** "[[https://notalwaysright.com/ah-the-good-old-days/214030/ My school serves ages five to fourteen. My girlfriend is a student.]]" One flurry of upset friends' emails later, the submitter manages to clarify that their girlfriend is a full-time ''college'' student. |
| 279 | * ThisAintRocketSurgery: Claiming to not be a rocket scientist when confused backfires on the submitter's friend in [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-lockheed-blockhead/319897/ this story]]; the friend in question is an aerospace engineer for Lockheed Martin, so he actually ''is'' a rocket scientist. |
| 280 | * TheTalk: [[https://notalwaysright.com/better-safe-than-sorry-3/240505/ This teenager's parents]] take a "teens gonna do what teens gonna do" attitude and put a free supply of condoms in the bathroom for them and their friends to take, as well as teaching them the correct way to use one, and about consent. |
| 281 | * TheyJustDontGetIt: Now has [[TheyJustDontGetIt/NotAlwaysRight its own page]]. |
| 282 | * TooDumbToFool: A computer scammer reaches [[https://notalwaysright.com/this-scam-wasnt-a-smashing-success-or-was-it/292468/ this roommate]], who due to a combination of [[TheDitz ditziness]] and [[ExhaustionInducedIdiocy sleep deprivation]] interprets the scammer's mention that his computer has a virus to mean that he should ''smash his computer to pieces with a hammer''. Fortunately, he didn't lose any data, as his addled mind [[ComputerEqualsMonitor went solely after the monitor]]. |
| 283 | * TooDumbToLive: [[https://notalwaysright.com/im-on-the-skater-boi-he-said-honk-and-kill-me-boi/169269/ This skateboarder]] wipes out and his skateboard ends up going under a car stopped at a traffic light. Skateboarder then ''crawls under the vehicle'' to retrieve his board. Had the car behind the submitter's car not honked when it started to go when the light turned green, the skateboarder would have had far bigger problems than just needing to get a new skateboard. |
| 284 | * TookALevelInJerkass: [[https://notalwaysright.com/sometimes-you-have-to-cut-the-line/214034/ This submitter's former friend]] is noted that she used to be a friendly girl who was cool to hang out with. But over time, she became more and more selfish, with the final nail in the coffin being that she insulted the submitter for hating fish ''twice'', despite the submitter noting that fish makes her gag and lose her appetite. Also, as one more twist to the knife, she called the common interests that brought them together in the first place "childish." What was left of that friendship came to an end after that, with the submitter sadly noting that she still misses the person this now ex-friend used to be, but she's changed for the worse. |
| 285 | * TrashOfTheTitans: The family in [[https://notalwaysright.com/messing-with-the-ice-cream-truck-was-the-final-straw/247809/ this story]] are described as being more concerned with buying their 'street corner medications' than paying the garbage bill, so trash piles up in the front yard until it's taller than six feet, and it takes a visit from CPS to force them to clean up. When the family is eventually forced to move out, it takes months of cleanup before it's deemed habitable again. |
| 286 | * TyrannicalHomeownersAssociation: [[https://notalwaysright.com/when-life-gives-you-lemonade-stands-you-get-yourself-evicted/249320/ This racist "HOA monster"]] repeatedly makes complaints about her neighbours, viewing the street as "her street" and (loudly) stating that things like yard sales shouldn't be held without her say-so. When a couple of Hispanic neighbourhood kids set up a lemonade stand to raise money for charity, she raises absolute hell, calling the police on them. When the police begin to take the kids' side, she tells them that they're paid "to do as I say, not take the word of some border-jumping Mexicans!" What she hasn't noticed is that [[FailedASpotCheck one of the deputies is Hispanic]]. [[HoistByTheirOwnPetard Not only is her complaint ignored, but the submitter points out that she's leaving her children alone to bitch at the neighbours, arousing the deputies' interest. Furthermore, her attempt to get a local newspaper to report on the "criminal activity" blew up in her face, as the reported instead wrote on her heavy-handedness.]] Three weeks later, possibly as a result of the police's investigation or bad publicity from the newspaper, she moved out of the neighbourhood. |
| 287 | * UnfortunateImplications: [[invoked]] [[https://notalwaysright.com/why-so-seriously-considering-the-cake/ One friend]] explains to another, who's about to get married, why having [[Franchise/{{Batman}} the Joker and Harley Quinn]] as wedding cake toppers may send [[MadLove the wrong message.]] |
| 288 | * UngratefulBastard: |
| 289 | ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/homeless-not-opinion-less/ It seems that]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/beggars-can-be-choosers/ beggars can]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/causing-a-butter-face/ be choosers]]. |
| 290 | ** When [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-time-for-giving-only/28788/ this mother and her young daughter]] get a huge basket of Christmas treats from the submitter, they complain about only getting treats and not "real" presents. The submitter promptly takes the basket back and stops talking to the family altogether. |
| 291 | * UnintelligibleAccent: [[https://notalwaysright.com/some-ballymena-ballyhoo/323660/ This Northern Irish missionary]] brings home friends he made in Africa. But he hails from Ballymena, a town known for a very thick accent. When the missionary and his friends are invited to a dinner by a local farmer and the farmer says grace before, the Africans had to have it explained to them afterwards that what they heard was in fact English. |
| 292 | * UnsportsmanlikeGloating: [[https://notalwaysright.com/an-emotional-victory/134673/ This chess player]] dethrones the reigning champ of a chess tournament and proceeds to relentlessly bully and rub it in the champion's face even after being asked to stop by the officials (while the champion [[GracefulLoser remains calm the entire time]]). The sore winner is [[LaserGuidedKarma disqualified on the spot]], then dragged out of the building kicking and screaming by security when he [[EntitledBastard throws a tantrum over his prize]], which results in him being [[PersonaNonGrata banned from the tournament for life]]. To top it off, the egomaniac actually ''[[FrivolousLawsuit tries to sue]]'' the tournament for kicking him out. Not only is his case [[DiggingYourselfDeeper thrown out almost immediately (thanks to there being a large crowd of witnesses to his tantrum in the tournament)]], but he is then ''[[HoistByHisOwnPetard banned from every chess tournament in the state]]''. |
| 293 | * VideoCallFail: Or rather, Video ''Communion'' Fail, as [[https://notalwaysright.com/this-is-my-body-broken-for-cat/218031/ this minister]]'s attempt to give communion online (during the UsefulNotes/COVID19Pandemic) winds up being crashed by his hungry cat. |
| 294 | -->'''Congregation member:''' “Rev., I think the cat wants communion, too.” |
| 295 | * ViewerSpeciesConfusion: InUniverse example in [[https://notalwaysright.com/puffin-and-puffin-until-youre-blue/201961/ this story]]. At a Belgian zoo, the submitter overhears a visitor referring to either a blue heron or a seagull (the syntax is ambiguous) as a ''perroquet de mer'' (literally, "sea parrot"), a French common name for the Atlantic puffin. |
| 296 | * WaxingLyrical: [[http://notalwaysright.com/taking-you-on-a-voicemail-tale/ And in a demonic voice, no less.]] |
| 297 | * WeirdWeather: Features in [[https://notalwaysright.com/not-sure-whether-we-can-weather-this-weather/289599/ this story]], where in the span of a mere twenty minutes tourists in a Greek tourist town go from enjoying a pleasant summer morning to having to scramble for shelter when a freak weather pattern over the Mediterranean Sea that not even the local weather was able to predict turned what was supposed to just be a few rain showers into what is described by the submitter as feeling like they were in the middle of a hurricane. |
| 298 | * WhamLine: [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-talkative-toddler-saves-the-day/220682/ In one story]], the submitter had befriended the family next door who spoke a mix of Farsi and English, which had a little boy and a toddler girl. She found the toddler crying on her doorstep one day and saying "Mama, mama" with a mix of Farsi. The submitted called for the toddler's mother over the fence, worried the child had gotten lost. Despite not being fluent in English, the toddler manages to say, "Mama fall down! Mama bang, bang bang! Fall down." This alerted the submitter that something terrible had happened; she climbed over the fence to help. [[spoiler:It turned out that an electric kettle had released a discharge which made the mother's heart stop, and she collapsed on the floor; the submitter dialed emergency services and performed CPR, saving the woman's life]]. |
| 299 | * WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes: Or, [[http://notalwaysright.com/true-friends-are-nothing-to-fear/ in this case]], puppets, birds, and running water. |
| 300 | * WildTeenParty: [[https://notalwaysright.com/its-an-incredibly-annoying-day-in-the-neighborhood/256231/ These students]], living on their own for the first time, start hosting wild parties on a regular basis as soon as they move in, driving their neighbours crazy with the noise, and blocking neighbours' driveways. When the submitter and their husband call the police about the parking, the students retaliate by doubling down on the madness, blaring music even louder and doing so all day ''and'' all night and finding new ways to harass the neighbours until the students' landlord decides to put an end to it by moving into the building, forcing them to behave themselves lest they be evicted. |
| 301 | * WorstAid: [[http://notalwaysright.com/pleased-as-punch-with-their-ability/ This friend]] attempts to help the choking narrator by ''punching her in the back'' - despite having been recently taught the proper way to assist a choking victim. |
| 302 | * YouAreNotAlone: The above story about phobias under WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes -- the woman is ashamed of her reaction to the puppeteer on TV, until her husband's friends relate their own phobias to her and reassure her that she's not weird. |
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