Line #81 SelfDemonstrating/YzmaAndKronk


1	[[quoteright:1000:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/screenshot_2023_10_11_at_75557_pm.png]]
2	[[caption-width-right:1000:"Take it Kronk. Feel the power."\
3	"Oh, I can feel it."]]
4
5	''For Yzma, read in the voice of Creator/EarthaKitt or Creator/CandiMilo. As for Kronk, read in the voice of Creator/PatrickWarburton.''
6
7	''The sound of statues being smashed is heard on another page as Yzma is frantically destroying busts of Kuzco, with Kronk looking on.''
8
9	Yzma: I can’t believe it, Kronk! That fool Kuzco…first he fires me, then he has the nerve to [[SelfDemonstrating/{{Kuzco}} put up a page on this website!]]
10
11	Kronk: Well, to be fair, he did get the idea first.
12
13	Yzma: How could he do this to me! Why I practically raised him!
14
15	Kronk: [[StealthInsult Yeah, you think he would have turned out better.]]
16
17	Yzma: Exactly! ''(Smashes another statue)'' If I had my way, Kuzco would be off this website!
18
19	Kronk: Well at least you’re taking your anger out on the statues and not the real Kuzco.
20
21	Yzma: [[EurekaMoment That’s it, Kronk!]]
22
23	Kronk: What?
24
25	Yzma: Get rid of Kuzco! I’ll bump him off, then TV Tropes will have no choice but to get rid of his page! With him out of the way, and no other ''WesternAnimation/TheEmperorsNewGroove'' characters on this website, ''I'll'' take over TheEmpire.
26
27	Kronk: But, uh…how does that work with you being fired?
28
29	Yzma: The only people who know that are the three of us, soon to be the two of us.
30
31	Kronk: And, I’m one of those two, right?
32
33	Yzma: To the secret lab!
34
35	''Yzma and Kronk head towards a large lever.''
36
37	Yzma: Pull the lever, Kronk!
38
39	''Kronk pulls the wrong lever.''
40
41	Yzma (screaming): WRONG LEEEVAAAAAHH!
42
43	Kronk: Ooops.
44
45	Yzma (emerging from another door with a crocodile on her rear): Why do we even have that lever?
46
47	''Yzma pulls the right lever and puts the two on a roller coaster.''
48
49	Roller Coaster PSA: Please remain seated and keep your arms and hands inside the ride at all times.
50
51	''One crazy roller coaster ride (and happy Kronk) later, the two are in the secret lab, in lab gear, plotting their scheme.''
52
53	Yzma: How shall I do it? I know. First, I’ll turn his page into a flea; a harmless little flea. Then, I’ll put that flea on the page of that pompous French Candle, then I’ll put his page on the page of [[SelfDemonstrating/{{Roz}} that fat slug]], then I’ll put those pages on my own, and when it’s coded? HAHAHA! I’ll smash it WITH A HAMMAH! It’s brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you!
54
55	''{{Beat}}''
56
57	Yzma: Or, to save myself on coding time, I’ll just poison him with a virus! (Holds out her hand) Take it Kronk, ohhh, feel the power!
58
59	Kronk: Oh, I can feel it.
60
61	Yzma: HAHAHAH! It’s dinner time!
62
63	''Some time later, Yzma and Kronk are in the dining room waiting for Kuzco.''
64
65	Yzma: Is everything ready for tonight?
66
67	Kronk: Well, I’d thought we’d start off with a soup and a light salad and see how we feel.
68
69	Yzma: Not the dinner!
70
71	Kronk: (Thinking for a minute) Right. The virus. The virus for Kuzco. The virus specifically for Kuzco. Kuzco’s virus.
72
73	''{{Beat}}''
74
75	Kronk: That virus?
76
77	Yzma: Yes, that virus!
78
79	Kronk: Gotcha covered.
80
81	Yzma: Excellent. All I have to do is propose a toast, and his page will be deleted before dessert.
82
83	Kronk: Which is a real shame cause it’s gonna be delicious.
84
85	Yzma: Now, where is Kuzco? He should have been here by now!
86
87	Kronk: Maybe he got held up with that whole “Self Demonstrating” thing that’s been going on with that [[SelfDemonstrating/DrIvoEggmanRobotnik other evil scientist]] on his page.
88
89	Yzma: Well, he’d better hurry it up! If he doesn’t get here soon, I’ll…actually I don’t know what to do.
90
91	Kronk: You know, I heard that the only way this whole page will work is if we describe ourselves a bit on here. But, uh, seeing as we [[MysteriousPast don’t have much of a backstory to talk about]], I do have some delicious tropes cooked up.
92
93	Yzma: Alright, fine! Get on with it! Maybe once we get through everything, Kuzco will finally show up! ‘’Sniff, sniff’’ Do you smell something burning?
94
95	Kronk: My spinach puffs! (‘’Runs into the kitchen’’)
96
97	Yzma: It’s gonna be a looooong night.
98
99	!These tropes are brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you!
100	* ZeroPercentApprovalRating: How could this be? Why do people think I’m doing a lousy job more than Kuzco! No one liked him on the throne!
101
102	** Kronk: Gee, I don’t know. Maybe it’s the whole purple thing?
103
104	** Yzma: Forget it! Do you know how long these took to import? I’m not paying postage for a new wardrobe!
105
106	* AbsentMindedProfessor: I could easily get rid of Kuzco, but I need to do it cleverly. If the flea thing was a bit too complicated, I…Kronk! Where can I get 10,000 gallons of oil cheap? And where’s that chicken potion?!
107
108	** Kronk: Honestly, I think it got misplaced with the rest. You know, you really ought to consider labeling your potions.
109
110	* AbusiveParents: Yes, I raised Kuzco, but can you blame me if I want him dead? He fired me! While I was doing my job!
111
112	** Kronk: Uh, was making decisions without him part of it?
113
114	** Yzma: Yes, Kronk…
115
116	** Kronk: Okay, just making sure, cause Kuzco mighta thought different on that. Just saying.
117
118	* ActorAllusion: How on Earth did I wind up with a cat potion? And why does it feel…familiar?
119
120	** Kronk: Funny, I never thought you as the cat type.
121
122	** '''SelfDemonstrating/TheJoker:''' Believe it, sister! I know of [[Series/Batman1966 this real hambone of an Earth]] where you’re the cat’s meow!
123
124	** Yzma: Who is this guy?
125
126	** Kronk: Beats me. Maybe he got lost at the wrong show.
127
128	* AffablyEvil: I know, I’m the bad guy, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be polite. Who can blame that one guard who got turned into a cow? If he doesn’t want to chase after Kuzco, I won’t stand in his way.
129
130	** Kronk: But, uh, you did send those other guys to their deaths.
131
132	** Yzma: Meh. They didn’t take the out.
133
134	* AmazingTechnicolorPopulation: Thanks to my naturally beautiful shade of purple, I tend to stand out from the crowd a bit more than everyone!
135
136	** Kronk: Yeah, all that purple. Real noticeable.
137
138	* AnimalMotifs: Cats and snakes are my preferred choice of style. Cats can be vicious, and snakes are just as ravishing as they are deadly.
139
140	* {{Animorphism}}: I almost stopped Kuzco from winning when I got turned into a cat! Well, at least it wore off. Partially.
141
142	** Kronk: I don’t know, the tale thing isn’t so bad.
143
144	** Yzma: Do you have any idea how much of a pain it is to comb?
145
146	** Kronk: Honestly, I wouldn’t know; I never had a tail.
147
148	* AssholeVictim: Ha, ha. Very funny. You think I deserve being put through the wringer for trying to coup Kuzco? You try raising him for so long and see how you feel when he fires you!
149
150	** Kronk: Uh, Yzma? I don’t think those people agree.
151
152	* BaldOfEvil: Bald?! I am not bald! I am a natural beauty! Look at this (points to her hair) lovely shade.
153
154	** Kronk: Funny, with all that baldness, I don’t see much shade.
155
156	* BenevolentBoss: I do have to treat my guards well. They are useful…unlike (looks at Kronk) some henchmen.
157
158	** Kronk: Huh?
159
160	** Yzma: See what I mean?
161
162	* BreakoutCharacter: How is that Kronk, [[MinionWithAnFInEvil of all people]], got [[WesternAnimation/KronksNewGroove his own movie?!]]
163
164	** Kronk: I'm pretty sure that was during Disney's whole "milk everything for sequels" phase.
165
166	** Yzma: Yes, but you?! A movie?!
167
168	** Kronk: I mean, it's not like anyone is complaining. Besides you, obviously.
169
170	* TheCaligula: It is no concern of mine whether anyone’s family has any—uh, what was it again?
171
172	** Random Peasant: Uh, food?
173
174	** Yzma: Hah! You really should have thought about that before you became peasants!
175
176	** Kronk (trying to do the logic in his head): Maybe Kuzco had a point about firing you.
177
178	** Yzma: Kronk…
179
180	* CatsAreMean: It was only ONE TIME! I turned into a cat, ONE. TIME! I should have clawed Kuzco’s eye out!
181
182	** Kronk: Yeah, I think you got the mean part down pat.
183
184	* CharacterCatchphrase: I do have a few favorite ones, like “It’s brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!”, or “To the secret lab!” Unfortunately, one of them is also “Pull the lever, Kronk!” (Kronk pulls the wrong lever again) WRONG LEEEEEVAAAAAAH! (Yzma returns from the lair with another crocodile biting her rear) Again, why do we even have that lever?! And how did you pull that lever all the way in here?!
185
186	** Kronk: Well, you got me. (Pulls down a map of the palace) By all accounts, it doesn’t make sense.
187
188	* ChasteToons: My precious little nephews Zim and Zam helped me out one time. Too bad they were just about as successful as Kronk.
189
190	** Kronk: I think I see why you don’t get invited to more family reunions.
191
192	* TheChewToy: I’ve been put through so much slapstick at this point, I’ve lost count.
193
194	** Kronk: Let’s see, there’s getting covered in mud in a swamp, being chased by flies, being knocked down a hill, getting tarred and feathered, turned into a human piñata, hit by lighting, sent falling down a chasm, smashed by a chandelier, turned into a kitten, smashed by a window, eaten by a buzzard…am I missing anything?
195
196	** Yzma: [[SarcasmMode No, Kronk, that about covers it.]]
197
198	* ColorMotifs: Purple, and ‘’only’’ purple. The rest of the colors clash with my natural beauty.
199
200	* TheComicallySerious: It’s hard to be funny when you have to deal with kids. [[BaitAndSwitch And that peasant’s brats]].
201
202	** Kronk: Who can blame you? [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Kuzco was bad enough to raise]].
203
204	* ComplexityAddiction: So what if my schemes are a bit over complex? They would work if someone actually carried them out right!
205
206	** Kronk: “The best laid schemes of squirrels and men can often go awry.”
207
208	** Yzma: What are you saying?
209
210	** Kronk: I read it in a book, once.
211
212	* CreepyHighPitchedVoice: My voice did get a little higher when I got turned into a kitten one time—higher than it normally was, anyway.
213
214	** Kronk: Would make for a nice alto in a choir.
215
216	* CuteIsEvil: Ugh, I don’t want the word “cute” thrown out at me! I’m gorgeous! But I suppose I could use “evil” when I was a fluffy animal.
217
218	* DelusionsOfBeauty: KRONK! Who’s saying I’m delusion about being beautiful?! I’m only 48!
219
220	** Kronk: In dog years, maybe.
221
222	* DemotedToExtra: Remind me to turn the Disney board into llamas for making me the villain of one act in [[WesternAnimation/KronksNewGroove your movie]], would you?
223
224	** Kronk: Mike, Bob, the other Bob, or Mickey?
225
226	** Yzma: [[MathematiciansAnswer Yes]].
227
228	* DirtyOldWoman: Do you people honestly think I hired Kronk because of his brains? Although he was pretty young when I hired him…
229
230	** Kronk: Yeah, I, uh, maybe don’t want people to see that moment again? It was kinda an awkward phase for me.
231
232	* TheDragon: This is currently Kronk's role. He may not be that bright, but he's all I got.
233
234	** Kronk: Speaking of, what ever happened to the last guy that had my job?
235
236	** Yzma: You don't want to know.
237
238	* TheDreaded: The people of Kuzco’s empire may have hated him for his ego, but they fear me. Unlike him, I can keep my subjects in line.
239
240	** Kronk: Straight, curved, or zig-zagged?
241
242	** Yzma: Kronk…not the time.
243
244	** Kronk: Well, if you’re gonna have em do a conga line or something, you might want to consider the orientation.
245
246	** Yzma: Where do you even get these ideas in that pea brain of yours?
247
248	* DumbMuscle: I didn't exactly hire Kronk for his brains. Though I don't think there's anyone else in the kingdom who could match my intellect, so my options are a bit limited.
249
250	* EvilChancellor: I may not be as manipulative as [[DarthWiki/DarthVader my asthmatic coworker's]] [[Characters/StarWarsEmperorPalpatine boss]], but I’m certainly the better looking of the two!
251
252	** Kronk: That’s kind of a low bar to clear.
253
254	* EvilSorcerer: That would have been my modus operandi, at least [[WhatCouldHaveBeen that’s what it was going to be]] once upon a time. At one point, I was going to be an evil sorceress who would have blocked out the sun to preserve my beauty. Although given I would have literally had the sun smacked into me, that might have been for the best.
255
256	** Kronk: Yeah, considering the sun’s extremely hot temperature would have melted you before it even hit you.
257
258	** Yzma: [[SarcasmMode That makes me feel better]].
259
260	* EvilIsPetty: Yes, I insulted Kronk’s cooking. Yes, I knocked over a teacup to make a pregnant woman struggle to pick it up. Does it make me feel any less bad about it? NO!
261
262	** Kronk: It kinda made me feel bad…
263
264	* EvilLaugh: As a villainess, I have to have one of these. Can’t complete the ensemble without it!
265
266	* EvilPlan: My goal was to turn Kuzco into a flea and then kill him, but I changed it to just poisoning him. Unfortunately, ‘’somebody’’ bungled that up and turned him to a llama!
267
268	** Kronk: Well, in my defense, your potions all look the same; you really oughta consider labeling some of them.
269
270	* EvilOldFolks: I am not old! I am ''not'' living proof dinosaurs roamed the Earth! That [[SelfDemonstrating/BeastWarsMegatron purple robot dinosaur]] is!
271
272	** Kronk: Maybe you two are related somewhere on the evolutionary chain.
273
274	** '''SelfDemonstrating/BeastWarsMegatron:''' I doubt that. An inferior organic couldn’t possibly be my relation. Especially one so…ancient. Yeeeees.
275
276	** Yzma: Kronk, next time you have a stupid thought, keep it to yourself.
277
278	* EvilPrincipal: I spent all of ''WesternAnimation/TheEmperorsNewSchool'' in the guise of [[SdrawkcabName Principal Amzy]] to try and make Kuzco fail his classes so he wouldn't be allowed to become Emperor, and I would have taken over the Empire.
279
280	** Kronk: You do know that nobody fell for that guise, right?
281
282	** Yzma: You did. Or so I thought.
283
284	** Kronk: It took me a bit, but I kinda realized that “Amzy” was a little too on the nose.
285
286	** Yzma: Next time, you pick the nickname!
287
288	* ExcessiveEvilEyeshadow: Excessive? This isn’t remotely close to how much I wear!
289
290	** Kronk: I don’t know, it kinda looks like you’re going for a whole vampire thing.
291
292	** Yzma: Kronk…
293
294	** Kronk: Right. Shutting up.
295
296	* FailureIsTheOnlyOption: I could have easily made Kuzco fail his classes and kept him from becoming Emperor, but no…Disney just ‘’had’’ to make sure he scooted by with the skin of his teeth!
297
298	** Kronk: You sure that was Disney, or was it just bad luck? Or maybe, you know, Kuzco actually trying?
299
300	** Yzma: Kronk….
301
302	** Kronk: Right. Disney’s fault.
303
304	* FanDisservice: Again, I’m tired of everyone calling me “scary beyond all reason!” I’m naturally beautiful!
305
306	** Kronk: So, uh…why did Kuzco and Pacha get all scared when you showed off your legs?
307
308	** Yzma: They knew about the knife!
309
310	** Kronk: Funny, they were actually relieved when it turned out to be just the knife.
311
312	** Yzma: What? Then why were they…KRONK!
313
314	* TheFashionista: Glitz, glamour, style, and plenty of outfit choices! That’s the beauty of being me! And when I was briefly empress, I did have plenty more options to choose from!
315
316	** Kronk: Yeah, shame about the whole “Kuzco being alive thing”. And it was such a lovely eulogy.
317
318	** Yzma: Gee, [[SarcasmMode I wonder why he was still alive?]]
319
320	* FatalFlaw: Fine! I admit it! My plans can be a bit more complex than usual! Happy?!
321
322	** Kronk: Obviously you’re not, but I think the people reading this are.
323
324	* {{Gonk}}: Kronk, if anyone continues to call me ugly, feed a potion into their computers. Let’s see how they like being llamas!
325
326	** Kronk: Yzma, I’m pretty sure that’s not how that works.
327
328	* HartmanHips: Like em? They are rather natural, if I do say so myself.
329
330	** Kronk: Naturally thin. Yeah. Real natural.
331
332	* HashHouseLingo: (sniffs the air) Kronk, what is that smell?
333
334	** The Mudka's Meat Hut Waitress: Three pork combos, extra bacon on the side, two chili cheese samplers, a basket of liver and onion rings, a catch of the day, and a steak cut in the shape of a trout. You got all that, honey?
335
336	** Kronk: Three oinkers wearing pants, plate of hot air, basket of Grandma's breakfast, and change the bull to a gill, got it.
337
338	** Yzma: Kronk! This isn't the time!
339
340	** Kronk: Sorry, Yzma, lunch rush. Talk later.
341
342	* HiddenDepths: Somehow, Kronk is a SupremeChef, he can speak HashHouseLingo, he [[SpeaksFluentAnimal speaks fluent squirrel]], can draw, knows about the types of wood used in doors, and is a GrammarNazi, and yet he can't get rid of one llama?!
343
344	** Kronk: "[[ShoutOutToShakespeare To this, above all, to thine own self be true.]]"
345
346	** Yzma: Now what sort of literary depths are you revealing?
347
348	** Kronk: Just something I heard.
349
350	* HugeGuyTinyGirl: As far as villain-henchman duos go, Kronk is a lot bigger compared to me. Though not in terms of brains, I assure you.
351
352	** Kronk: I wouldn’t say that, but (a bug buzzes by) — Don’t worry, Yzma, I got it. (Falls down the stairs). I’m okay! I fine!
353
354	* IneffectualSympatheticVillain: Maybe I’m not the nicest person around, but if you had to work under Kuzco for so long and got fired for doing his job, maybe you’d understand what it’s like!
355
356	* InkSuitActor: I was designed to look a lot like my [[Creator/EarthaKitt late voice]]. She was truly the cat’s meow.
357
358	* IronicEcho: When I finally caught up to Kuzco and almost killed him, I told him, "Just think of it as being let go; that your life's heading in a new direction."
359
360	** Kronk: [[LampshadeHanging Hey, that's kind of like what he said to you when you got fired.]]
361
362	** Yzma: I know. It's called a cruel irony. [[StealthInsult Like my dependence on you.]]
363
364	* IWasQuiteALooker: This was going to be my whole spiel in the original movie, but after that got cut to pieces, the tv show presented me as looking a lot better in my youth. At least [[EnsembleDarkHorse the fans appreciated it]].
365
366	** Kronk: Who can blame em? It was a BeachEpisode, you had [[Creator/GreyGriffin a new voice]], there was a FountainOfYouth…am I missing anything?
367
368	** Yzma: Yes. You missed the part where we both turned into babies.
369
370	** Kronk: Honestly, I was trying to block that out.
371
372	* KarmaHoudini: Kuzco Academy really was dumb enough to let me stay on even when most people knew I was Principal Amzy! If I won, I’d be Empress!
373
374	** Kronk: I don’t think they didn’t care so much as they knew you wouldn’t win. And you did [[KarmaHoudiniWarranty wind up my secretary]] at the end, so…
375
376	** Yzma: KRONK!
377
378	** Kronk: I really ought to stop talking.
379
380	* KarmicTransformation: Getting turned into a cat was rather embarrassing, seeing as I had the whole squeaky voice for a time, but I don’t want anyone laughing because they think I deserved it for trying to kill Kuzco.
381
382	** Kronk: Uh, Yzma? I don’t think they feel the same way.
383
384	* KickTheDog: So what if I raised Kuzco into a SpoiledBrat and tried to kill him when he fired me? I was just doing his job!
385
386	** Kronk: I think you just blew your whole case.
387
388	** Yzma: KRONK!!!
389
390	* LargeHam: Hey, Kronk here. I know it kind of sounds obvious, but Yzma does lay on the ham pretty thick.
391
392	** Yzma: A ham, am I? Take that back before I spill the pig potion on you!
393
394	** Kronk: See? With that volume, no glass panes would stand a chance.
395
396	* LaughablyEvil: I’m the villain of this story, and I get played for comedy? Kronk! Where’s the mouse potion for the Disney board?!
397
398	** Kronk: I’m still trying to find it from the last time you asked! They aren’t labeled!
399
400	* LeanAndMean: Tall? Check. Beautiful? Check. Evil? Absolutely!
401
402	* MadScientist: How else do you think I can make all those potions? I’ve had a lot of time to prepare them for the day Kuzco dies!
403
404	** Kronk: And yet they still don’t have labels.
405
406	** Yzma: KRONK!!!!
407
408	* MistreatmentInducedBetrayal: Kuzco fired me, so I decided he had to die!
409
410	** Kronk: Wait, didn’t he apologize?
411
412	** Yzma: It was far too late for that. He was due to die anyway!
413
414	** Kronk: So, you would have betrayed him even if he didn’t fire you?
415
416	** Yzma: [[SubvertedTrope Well, when you put it like that]] … yes! But you had to [[PlayedStraight play it straight]], just because I insulted your spinach puffs!
417
418	** Kronk: I take it personally.
419
420	* MinionWithAnFInEvil: Ugh, if Kronk was as good at actually doing his job as he was at everything else besides being evil...
421
422	** Kronk: It's not so bad. The health plan covers just about everything.
423
424	** Yzma: I wasn't talking about the health plan...
425
426	* NeverMessWithGranny: Kronk, if these tropers don’t stop calling me Granny, I’ll spry my way towards turning them all into frogs!
427
428	** Kronk: I think they’re just trying to say you’re agile for your age.
429
430	* NeverMyFault: How many times do I have to tell you, my plans don’t go awry because they’re overcomplicated or doomed to fail! It’s Kronk’s fault!
431
432	** Kronk: Wow. She just came right out and said it.
433
434	* NeverSmileAtACrocodile: I do own one or two for my lair. Unfortunately, it tends to bite me where it shouldn’t.
435
436	** Kronk: Uh, when was the last time you fed him?
437
438	** Yzma: Huh. I didn’t think about that.
439
440	* NotSoHarmlessVillain: Call me silly all you like, but I did manage to usurp Kuzco and nearly kill him a fair amount of times, didn’t I?
441
442	** Kronk: You still lost, though.
443
444	** Yzma: KRONK!!!!!
445
446	** Kronk: I just can’t keep my mouth shut, can I?
447
448	* OddFriendship: As much as I hate to admit it, I do have a soft spot for Kronk. He’s dumber than a brick, but at least he’s loyal.
449
450	** Kronk: It pays the allowance.
451
452	* OneWingedAngel: I thought by drinking that potion, I’d get one…[[SubvertedTrope but I turned into a cat]]!
453
454	** Kronk: Sorry, Yzma, but I think that Ursula lady has you beat.
455
456	* PaperThinDisguise: Hey, Kronk again. Yzma disguising herself as “Amzy” was just way too obvious. I mean, she doesn’t even look all that different.
457
458	** Yzma: It was fine as it was, thank you very much!
459
460	** Kronk: Yeah, I’m pretty sure the whole school knew anyway.
461
462	* ParentalSubstitute: Yes, I raised Kuzco. Look how well that turned out for me.
463
464	** Kronk: Yeah, you think he would have turned out better.
465
466	* PercussiveTherapy: After Kuzco fired me, I took out my frustrations on statues of my ex boss. Then Kronk brilliantly suggested I take it out on the real Kuzco, and the rest is history!
467
468	** Kronk: Well, I’m glad my ideas worked for the better!
469
470	* PetTheDog: After the guard got turned into a cow and asked to leave, I let him go home. I don’t know why though; are cows considered funny these days?
471
472	** Kronk: Good question. Hey, maybe someone should make a tv show about a talking cow?
473
474	** Yzma: Please. ItWillNeverCatchOn.
475
476	* PhraseCatcher: Hey, Kronk again. So, since this is a bit of embarrassing trivia for Yzma, I’ll just say it. Everyone calls her scary beyond all reason.
477
478	** Yzma: And if you say it, you’ll wish you’d been born an ant!
479
480	** Kronk: I never said it was true. I’m just saying everyone else says it.
481
482	* PlotIrrelevantVillain: I got a part in Kronk’s movie, but it was just be being a SnakeOilSalesman. The whole thing was about Kronk getting acceptance from Daddy. Uh, what a waste.
483
484	** Kronk: I don’t think it was a waste. Nobody would watch it without it.
485
486	* PoliticallyIncorrectVillain: I don’t tend to think very highly of peasants. If they were so concerned about food, they wouldn’t have become peasants!
487
488	** Kronk: But, uh…how does that make sense?
489
490	* RasputinianDeath: How can you call it a death when I just get jostled all over the place? Turned into a cat, sent down to my doom before bouncing off a trampoline, getting smacked with a window, and being forced to join a scout troop? That’s death?
491
492	** Kronk: I mean, you didn’t die. You just got pushed around several times that made it seem like you would normally die.
493
494	* RegentForLife: I was almost this until Kuzco fired me, so I just decided to kill him.
495
496	* RunningGag: On the tv series, every time we went into the secret lab, I'd always say "Pull the lever, Kronk!", and he'd pull it and (Kronk pulls the wrong lever [[RuleOfThree a third time]]) WRONG LEVAAAAAAAAH! (Yzma returns again with the crocodile) When I find whoever designed this page...
497
498	** Kronk: Yeah, the guy's got a sick sense of humor to keep milking that joke.
499
500	* SealedEvilInATeddyBear: Ugh, that cat form again. It did have those sharp claws, but it was too adorable to really be evil.
501
502	** Kronk: What a time to be alive, eh?
503
504	* SexySlitDress: Of course I have one of these! It’s all part of my beautiful ensemble!
505
506	** Kronk: If that ensemble was stone age decor.
507
508	* ShadowArchetype: Hiya, it’s Kronk. Again. I kinda noticed this early on, but Yzma is basically everything Kuzco could have turned out to be if he didn’t have a conscious.
509
510	** Yzma: And why would I need one, Kronk?
511
512	** Kronk: I mean, it never hurts.
513
514	* SmugSnake: I am not smug! I’m brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I say! Genius I tell you!
515
516	** Kronk: And Kuzco’s still alive.
517
518	** Yzma: And whose fault is that?
519
520	* TheSmurfettePrinciple: There seems to be a lot of men in the main cast of the movie, and I’m the only woman in the whole thing!
521
522	** Kronk: Doesn’t Pacha’s wife count?
523
524	** Yzma: Supporting.
525
526	** Kronk: His little girl?
527
528	** Yzma: Also supporting.
529
530	** Kronk: The head waitress at Mudka’s Meat Hut?
531
532	** Yzma: A minor bit player.
533
534	** Kronk: Got it. So any woman that’s not named Yzma is not in the main cast.
535
536	** Yzma: Exactly!
537
538	* SpeaksFluentAnimal: Kronk, will you quit talking to that squirrel?
539
540	** Kronk: Hang on a sec, Yzma. Squeak, squeaker, uh, squeak squeaken.
541
542	** Bucky: (squirrel noises)
543
544	** Kronk: I know, she's got a bad temper.
545
546	** Bucky: (squirrel noises)
547
548	** Kronk: Honestly, I'd blame having to raise Kuzco.
549
550	* TheStarscream: Like I said a thousand times on this page, I backstabbed Kuzco to take his throne. How else do I have to put it for you to get the point?!
551
552	** '''SelfDemonstrating/{{Starscream}}:''' Don't bother. These mindless fools have no idea what else to do with their pitiful lives. They won't even worship their true masters!
553
554	** Kronk: Huh, a giant robot. That's new.
555
556	** Yzma: In this time, anything that shouldn't exist is possible.
557
558	* SurroundedByIdiots: Between Kuzco’s ego and Kronk’s tiny brain, I can’t get anything done around here!
559
560	** Kronk: It’s not that bad. You did get to be Empress for, what? Half the movie?
561
562	** Yzma: Half is not enough, Kronk!
563
564	* TreacherousAdvisor: Yes, I was running the country behind Kuzco’s back (not that he noticed for so long, seeing as he was stuck looking in a mirror), but I didn’t consider replacing him until he fired me!
565
566	** Kronk: Did the whole thing about using Kuzco as a PuppetKing never occur to you?
567
568	** Yzma: It crossed my mind. But then again, considering he did fire me…
569
570	* TheUsurper: My whole goal in the first movie was to kill Kuzco and take his place. But instead he turned into a llama, and it all went downhill from there.
571
572	* VagueAge: KRONK! Find Disney and the Tropers! Make them all insects for assuming my age is vague! It’s 48, got it! 48! Not ancient, 48!
573
574	** Kronk: With those wrinkles?
575
576	* VainSorceress: This was going to be my original goal in the ''Kingdom of the Sun'' movie until Disney turned it into ''The Emperor’s New Groove''. I was going to make a DealWithTheDevil to Snuff out the Light and steal the sun so I would never age.
577
578	** Kronk: Snuff Out The Light…that would make a nice name for a song.
579
580	** Yzma: Actually, you’re right! It does sound like a good song title.
581
582	* VillainDecay: It’s Kronk again. Remember how Yzma was the bad guy in the first film? They did a whole sequel, and she wound up in the small time. Even being the bad guy in the tv show, she was just trying to get Kuzco to fail school instead of trying to kill him.
583
584	** Yzma: Kronk! That’s coming off your allowance!
585
586	** Kronk: Aww…
587
588	* VillainousFriendship: Like I said, I do enjoy Kronk’s company. Most of the time…
589
590	** Kronk: Oh, look! A golden-throated, small-winged warbler. Just one more for exotic bird bingo.
591
592	* VillainousValor: Even if I’m going to lose, I’ll go down with all I’ve got!
593
594	** Kronk: You did go down though, Yzma. Like, several thousand feet to your doom. You’re lucky they had all those trampolines.
595
596	* WellDoneSonGuy: It's Kronk, again. My whole plot in my movie was me trying to win my papi's approval. It took a bit of doing, but I did it!
597
598	** Yzma: [[SarcasmMode I'm sure you must feel very proud.]]
599
600	----
601	->'''SelfDemonstrating/{{Kuzco}}:''' Hah! Boom baby! So, what’s for dinner? I’m starved.
602	->'''Yzma''' Finally! I’ve been waiting all night! Kronk! Fetch the Emperor his "[[DeadlyEuphemism drink]]".
603	->'''Kronk:''' Right. Riiiiight.
604	->''He gets Kuzco his drink.''
605	->'''Yzma:''' A toast! To the Emperor! Long live Kuzco!
606	->'''Kuzco''' drinks and apparently falls dead.’’
607	->'''Yzma:''' It worked! It worked! Now, to get rid of the page.
608	->'''Kuzco (suddenly alive):''' Okay, what were we saying?
609	->'''Yzma (stunned):''' Uh…we were just making a toast to your long (Kuzco’s ears grow out)…healthy rule!
610	-> '''Kuzco:''' Right. So what are you gonna do? (His neck grows) I mean you’ve been around here a long time (unaware of Yzma being stunned)…and I really mean a long time (Yzma starts smacking broccoli together to try and get Kronk to knock Kuzco out)…um…I mean it might be difficult…for someone of your age (his hand turns into a hoof) adjusting to life in the private sector. Hey, Kronk? Can you top me off pal, be a friend? (His face turns into a llama) Heh. Now about you finding new work. That’s…that’s gonna be tough.
611	->'''Kronk:''' More broccoli?
612	->'''Kuzco (still oblivious to Yzma’s gestures):''' Cause you’re…well, let’s face it you’re no spring chicken. And I mean that in the best possible way. (Kronk finally knocks him out)
613	->'''Yzma:''' What! A llama! His page is supposed to be deleted!
614	->'''Kronk:''' Yeah, weird.
615	->'''Yzma:''' Let me see that vial. (She gets the vial from Kronk) This isn’t a virus. This is extract of…llama!
616	->'''Kronk:''' Well, in my defense, your potions all look the same; you really ought to consider labeling some of them.
617	->'''Yzma:''' Take him off this website and finish the job, now!
618	->'''Kronk:''' But what about dinner?
619	->'''Yzma:''' Kronk, this is kind of important!
620	->'''Kronk:''' Dessert?
621	->'''Yzma:''' I…oh alright, I suppose there's time for dessert.
622	->'''Kronk:''' And coffee?

Context SelfDemonstrating / YzmaAndKronk