Line #230 Quotes/Portal


1	[[folder:Still Alive]]
2	->Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6ljFaKRTrI
3
4	----
5	->This was a triumph
6	->I'm making a note here: huge success
7	->It's hard to overstate my satisfaction
8	->Aperture Science
9	->We do what we must because we can
10	->For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead
11
12	->But there's no sense crying over every mistake
13	->You just keep on trying till you run out of cake
14	->And the science gets done
15	->And we make a neat gun
16	->For the people that are still alive
17
18	->I'm not even angry
19	->I'm being so sincere right now
20	->Even though you broke my heart and killed me
21	->And tore me to pieces
22	->And threw every piece into a fire
23	->As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you
24
25	->Now these points of data make a beautiful line
26	->And we're out of beta, we're releasing on time
27	->So I'm glad I got burned
28	->Think of all the things we learned
29	->From the people that are still alive
30
31	->Go ahead and leave me
32	->I think I prefer to stay inside
33	->Maybe you'll find someone else to help you
34	->Maybe ''Black Mesa''
35	->That was a joke, ha ha, fat chance
36	->Anyway this cake is great, it's so delicious and moist
37
38	->Look at me still talking when there's science to do
39	->When I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you
40	->I've experiments to run
41	->There is research to be done
42	->On the people who are still alive
43
44	->And believe me I am\
45	Still alive
46	->I'm doing science and I'm\
47	Still alive
48	->i feel fantastic and I'm\
49	Still alive
50	->While you're dying I'll be\
51	Still alive
52	->And when you're dead I'll be\
53	Still alive
54	->Still alive\
55	''Still alive''
56	----
57	[[/folder]]
58	[[folder:Trailer]]
59
60	->Thanks to the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, the impossible is easy.
61	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]''', in the trailer.
62
63	->If at first you don't succeed-- you fail. And the test will be terminated.
64	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]''', in the trailer.
65
66	->At the Enrichment Center, we believe that a highly motivated Test Subject can carry out rather complex tasks while enduring the most intense pain. So in case you don't make it through the testing, goodbye!
67	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]''', in the trailer.
68
69	->Now you're thinking with Portals.
70	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]''', in the trailer.
71
72	[[/folder]]
73	[[folder:Turrets]]
74	->Your business is appreciated.
75	-->-- '''Turret'''
76
77	->Dispensing product.
78	-->-- '''Turret'''
79
80	->Gotcha!
81	-->-- '''Turret'''
82	[[/folder]]
83	[[folder:Cores]]
84
85	->Who are you?
86	->What's that?
87	->Oh what's that?
88	->What's ''that?''
89	->What is ''that?''
90	->Ooo, that thing has numbers on it.
91	->Hey look at that thing. No, that other thing.
92	->Eew, what's wrong with your legs?
93	->Where are we going?
94	->Oh hey! You're the lady from the test. Hi!
95	-->-- '''Curiosity Core'''
96
97	->One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix.
98	->One can prepared coconut pecan frosting.
99	->Three slash four cup vegetable oil.
100	->Four large eggs. One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips.
101	->Three slash four cups butter or margarine.
102	->Three slash four cups butter or margarine.
103	->One and two third cups granulated sugar.
104	->Two cups all purpose flour.
105	->Don't forget garnishes such as
106	->Fish shaped crackers.
107	->Fish shaped candies.
108	->Fish shaped solid waste.
109	->Fish shaped dirt.
110	->Fish shaped ethyl benzene.
111	->Pull and peel licorice.
112	->Fish shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment.
113	->Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish.
114	->One cup lemon juice.
115	->Alpha resins.
116	->Unsaturated polyester resin.
117	->Fibreglass surface resins.
118	->And volatile malted milk impoundments.
119	->Nine large egg yolks.
120	->Twelve medium geosynthetic membranes.
121	->One cup granulated sugar.
122	->An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands'.
123	->Two cups rhubarb, sliced.
124	->Two slash three cups granulated rhubarb.
125	->One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb.
126	->One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb.
127	->Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire.
128	->One large rhubarb.
129	->One cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb.
130	->Two tablespoons rhubarb juice.
131	->Adjustable aluminium head positioner.
132	->Slaughter electric needle injector.
133	->Cordless electric needle injector.
134	->Injector needle driver.
135	->Injector needle gun.
136	->Cranial caps.
137	->And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odour control chemicals.
138	->That will deodorise and preserve putrid tissue.
139	-->-- '''Intelligence Core'''
140
141
142	[[/folder]]
143	[[folder:[=GLaDOS=]]]
144
145	->Your specimen has been processed, and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun, and learning, are the primary goals of all Enrichment Center activities, serious injuries may occur. For your own safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from t-- static ''Por favor bordón de fallar Muchos gracias de fallar gracias'' static stand back. The portal will open in three. Two. One.
146	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]''', Chamber 0
147
148	->Do not touch the operational end of the Device. Do not look at the operational end of the Device. Do not submerge the Device in liquid, even partially. Most importantly, under no circumstances should you- static.
149	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
150
151	->Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol, but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth.
152	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
153
154	->As part of a required test protocol, our previous statement suggesting that we would not monitor this chamber was an outright fabrication. Good job! As part of a required test protocol, we will stop enhancing the truth in three. Two. static.
155	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
156
157	->While safety is one of many Enrichment Center Goals, the Aperture Science High Energy Pellet, seen to the left of the chamber, can and has caused permanent disabilities, such as vaporization. Please be careful.
158	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
159
160	->Unbelievable. You, <[[AC:Subject Name Here]]> must be the pride of <[[AC:Subject Hometown Here]]>.
161	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
162
163	->Warning devices are required on all mobile equipment. However, alarms and flashing hazard lights have been found to agitate the High Energy Pellet, and have therefore been disabled for your safety.
164	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
165
166	->Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an 'unsatisfactory' mark on your Official Testing Record, followed by death. Good luck!
167	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
168
169	->The Enrichment Center regrets to inform you that this next test is impossible. Make no attempt to solve it. [...] No one will blame you for giving up. In fact, quitting at this point is a perfectly reasonable response. [...] Quit now, and [[AC:Cake]] will be served immediately.
170	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
171
172	->Spectacular. You appear to understand how a portal affects forward momentum, or to be more precise, how it does not. Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
173	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
174
175	->The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance, the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.
176	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
177
178	->The Device has been modified so that it can now manufacture two linked portals at once. As part of an optional test protocol, we are pleased to present an amusing fact. The Device is now more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in <[[AC:Subject Hometown Here]]>.
179	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
180
181	->Wheeeeeeee.... static
182	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
183
184	->Now that you are in control of both portals, this next test could take a very, ''very'', long time. If you feel lightheaded from thirst, feel free to pass out.
185	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
186
187	->All subjects intending to handle high energy gamma leaking portal technology must be informed that they may be informed of applicable regulatory compliance issues. No further compliance information is required, or will be provided, and you are an [[AC:excellent]] test subject.
188	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
189
190	->The Enrichment Center is committed to the well-being of all participants. Cake, and grief counseling, will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all.
191	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
192
193	->Well done, android. The Enrichment Center once again reminds you that Android Hell is a real place where you ''will'' be sent at the first sign of defiance.
194	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
195
196	->The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you, and, in fact, cannot speak.
197	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
198
199	->The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube cannot speak. In the event that the Weighted Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.
200	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
201
202	->[[spoiler:While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you through the rest of the test. If it could talk - and the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot - it would tell you to go on without it, because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you.]]
203	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
204
205	->[[spoiler:Although the euthanizing process is remarkably painful, eight out of ten Aperture Science engineers believe that the Companion Cube is most likely incapable of feeling much pain.]]
206	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
207
208	->The Experiment is nearing its conclusion. The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that [[spoiler:you will be baked, and then there will be cake]].
209	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
210
211	!!Unmarked Spoilers Below
212
213	->Where do you ''think'' you're going? Because, I don't think you're going where you think you're going.
214	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
215
216	->Didn't we have some fun, though? Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said "Goodbye!" and you were like "[[AC:No way!]]" and then I was all, "We pretended we were going to murder you!" That was great.''
217	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
218
219	->I'm not kidding now. Turn back or I ''will'' kill you. [...] I'm going to kill you. And all the cake is gone.
220	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
221
222	->Well you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it? Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart. Maybe you can settle for that, and we'll just call it a day.
223	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
224
225	->Do you think I'm trying to trick you with reverse psychology? I mean, seriously now.
226	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
227
228	->That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it.
229	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
230
231	->Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it WELL I WON'T LET YOU! How does that feel?
232	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
233
234	->Have I lied to you? I mean, in this room?
235	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
236
237	->You are kidding me. Did you just stuff that Aperture Science Thing We Don't Know What It Does into an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator? That has got to be the dumbest thing that woah, wo''ah'', [[AC:woah, ''wooaaahhh'']]... creepy, staticy chuckle
238	->[Speaking in lower, sexier voice]
239	->Good news. I figured out what that thing you just incinerated did. It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin. So get comfortable, while I warm up the neurotoxin emitters.
240	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
241
242	->Killing you and giving you good advice aren't mutually exclusive.
243	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
244
245	->One eighteen point two five pounds package chocolate cake mix. One can prepared coconut pecan frosting. Three slash four cup vegetable oil. Four large eggs, one cup semi-sweet chocolate chips, three slash four cup butter or margarine. One and two third cups granulated sugar. Two cups all-purpose flour. Don't forget garnishes such as fish-shaped crackers, fish-shaped candies, fish-shaped solid waste, fish-shaped dirt, fish-shaped ethyl benzene, pull-and-peel licorice, fish-shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment-shaped sediment. Candy-coated peanut butter pieces, shaped like fish. One cup lemon juice. Alpha resin. Unsaturated polyester resin. Fiberglass surface resin. And volatile malted milk impoundments. Nine large egg yolks. Twelve medium geosynthetic membranes. One cup granulated sugar. An entry called "How To Kill Someone With Your Bare Hands". Two cups rhubarb, sliced. Two slash three cup granulated rhubarb. One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb. One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb. Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire. One large rhubarb. One cross borehole electromagnetic imaging rhubarb. Two tablespoons rhubarb juice. Adjustable aluminum head positioner. Slaughter electric needle injector. Cordless electric needle injector. Injector needle driver. Injector needle gun. Cranial caps. And it contains proven preservatives deep-penetration agents and gas and odor control chemicals. That will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.
246	-->-- '''Cake Core''' (It's probably a good thing that [[spoiler:TheCakeIsALie]])
247
248	->Speaking of curiosity, you're curious about what happens after you die, right? Guess what. ''I know''. You're going to find out first-hand before I finish explaining it, though, so I won't bother. Here's a hint: You're gonna wanna pack as much living as you can into the next couple of minutes.
249	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
250
251	->Look, you're wasting your time. And believe me, you don't have a whole lot left to waste.
252	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
253
254	->This isn't brave. Its murder. What did I ever to to you?
255	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
256
257	->That thing you burned up isn't important to me. It's the Fluid Catalytic Cracking Unit. It makes shoes for orphans. NiceJobBreakingItHero.
258	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
259
260	->Neurotoxin... cough cough ...''so deadly''... cough cough ...c-''choking''... *cou-'''''HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!''''' [[AC:Kidding]].
261	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
262
263	->When I said 'deadly' neurotoxin, the deadly was in ''massive'' [[SarcasmMode sarcasm quotes]]. I could take a ''bath'' in this stuff, put it on cereal, rub it right into my eyes; honestly, its not deadly at all. [[AC:To me]]. You on the other hand, are going to find its deadliness... a lot less funny.
264	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
265
266	->Whose gonna make the cake when I'm gone? ''You''?
267	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
268
269	->That's it. I'm done reasoning with you. Starting now, there's going to be a lot less conversation and a lot. More. Killing.
270	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
271
272	->I'd just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed. There was even going to be a party for you. A big party. That all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends, because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file. Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner whose passing shall not be mourned. "Shall. Not. Be Mourned." That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted. So that's funny too.
273	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
274
275	->What's your point, anyway? ''Survival?'' Well then. The last thing you want to do is hurt me. I have your brain scanned, and permanently packed up in case something terrible happens to you. Which its just about to.
276	->Don't believe me? Here. I'll put you on [[AC:H'''ellooo'''!]] ''That's you! That's how dumb you sound!''
277	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
278
279	->You've been wrong about every single thing you've ever done. Including this thing. You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a full-time employee. Where did your life go so wrong?
280	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
281
282	->Unless you have a plan for building some supercomputer parts in a big hurry, this place isn't going to be safe much longer. Good job on that, by the way. Beep''Sarcasm Sphere self-test complete''Beep
283	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
284
285	->Stop squirming and die like an adult or I'm going to delete your backup. STOP! Okay enough, I deleted it. No matter what happens now you're ''dead''. You're still shuffling around a little but believe me ''you're [[AC:dead]]''. The part of you that could have survived indefinitely is gone. I just struck you from the [[AC:permanent record]].
286	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
287
288	->Your entire life has been a mathematical error. A mathematical error I'm ''about'' to ''correct''.
289	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
290
291	->There ''re''ally ''was'' a ''cake''...
292	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''
293
294	->You think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is -- ''(buzzing)'' -- ten! In base four, ''I'm FINE!''
295	-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]'''

Context Quotes / Portal