1 | ->'''Xander:''' I kind of had a problem with the math.\ |
2 | '''Willow:''' Which part?\ |
3 | '''Xander:''' [[AllOfThem The math]]. |
4 | |
5 | ->'''Girl #1:''' The new kid? She seems kind of weird to me. [[WhoNamesTheirKidDude What kind of name is "Buffy"]]?\ |
6 | '''Girl #2:''' ''[walking by]'' [[HypocriticalHumor Hey, Aphrodesia]]. |
7 | |
8 | ->'''Cordelia:''' Some guy was stuffed in Aura's locker.\ |
9 | '''Buffy:''' Dead?\ |
10 | '''Cordelia:''' ''Totally'' dead. ''Way'' dead.\ |
11 | '''Xander:''' So, not just [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment a little dead]], then. |
12 | |
13 | ->''It's the weirdest thing. He's got two little holes in his neck and all the blood's been drained. [[ManyQuestionsFallacy Isn't that bizarre? Aren't you just going "ooh"?]]'' |
14 | -->--'''Buffy''' ''[to Giles]'' |
15 | |
16 | ->'''Giles:''' Into each generation, a Slayer is born. One girl in all the world, a Chosen One. One born with the--\ |
17 | '''Buffy:''' ...the strength and skill to hunt the vampires to stop the spread of their evil {{blah blah|blah}}. I've heard it, okay? |
18 | |
19 | ->'''Giles:''' Something's coming, something, something...something is, is gonna happen here. Soon!\ |
20 | '''Buffy:''' Gee, can you [[VaguenessIsComing vague that up for me]]? |
21 | |
22 | ->''You're standing at the mouth of Hell. And it's about to open.'' |
23 | -->--'''Angel''' |
24 | |
25 | ->'''Buffy:''' {{Who are you}}?\ |
26 | '''Angel:''' Let's just say...[[MysteriousProtector I'm a friend]].\ |
27 | '''Buffy:''' Yeah, well, maybe I don't need a friend.\ |
28 | '''Angel:''' I didn't say I was ''yours''. |
29 | |
30 | ->[holding a skimpy black dress in front of herself] ''"Hi, I'm an enormous slut!"'' [holds a blue floral dress in front of herself] ''"Hello, would you like a copy of ''The Watchtower''?"'' [sighs] ''I used to be so good at this.'' |
31 | -->--'''Buffy''' |
32 | |
33 | ->'''Joyce:''' Are you going out tonight?\ |
34 | '''Buffy:''' Yeah, I'm going to a club.\ |
35 | '''Joyce:''' Oh. Will there be boys there?\ |
36 | '''Buffy:''' No, Mom. [[AskAStupidQuestion It's a nun club]]. |
37 | |
38 | ->'''Buffy:''' From now on, I'm only going to hang out with the living--[[LastSecondWordSwap I mean, lively]]...people.\ |
39 | '''Joyce:''' Okay. You have fun. |
40 | |
41 | ->'''Willow:''' I thought Xander was going to show up.\ |
42 | '''Buffy:''' Oh, are you guys going out?\ |
43 | '''Willow:''' No, we're just friends. We used to go out, but we broke up.\ |
44 | '''Buffy:''' How come?\ |
45 | '''Willow:''' He stole my Barbie. ''[{{beat}}]'' Oh, we were five. |
46 | |
47 | ->'''Willow:''' I think boys are more interested in a girl who can talk.\ |
48 | '''Buffy:''' You really ''haven't'' been dating lately. |
49 | |
50 | ->'''Giles:''' A vampire appears to be completely normal, until the feed is upon them. Only then do they reveal their true demonic visage.\ |
51 | '''Buffy:''' You're like [[MrExposition a textbook with arms]]. I ''know'' this. |
52 | |
53 | ->''Okay, first of all, what's with the outfit? Live in the now, okay? You look like [=DeBarge=].'' |
54 | -->--'''Buffy''' ''[to Vampire]'' |
55 | |
56 | ---- |
57 | -->[-Visit unabridged version [[Recap/BuffyTheVampireSlayerS1E1WelcomeToTheHellmouth HERE]].-] |
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