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Quotes / Buffy the Vampire Slayer S1E1 "Welcome to the Hellmouth"

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Xander: I kind of had a problem with the math.
Willow: Which part?
Xander: The math.

Girl #1: The new kid? She seems kind of weird to me. What kind of name is "Buffy"?
Girl #2: [walking by] Hey, Aphrodesia.

Cordelia: Some guy was stuffed in Aura's locker.
Buffy: Dead?
Cordelia: Totally dead. Way dead.
Xander: So, not just a little dead, then.

It's the weirdest thing. He's got two little holes in his neck and all the blood's been drained. Isn't that bizarre? Aren't you just going "ooh"?
Buffy [to Giles]

Giles: Into each generation, a Slayer is born. One girl in all the world, a Chosen One. One born with the—
Buffy: ...the strength and skill to hunt the vampires to stop the spread of their evil blah blah. I've heard it, okay?

Giles: Something's coming, something, something...something is, is gonna happen here. Soon!
Buffy: Gee, can you vague that up for me?

You're standing at the mouth of Hell. And it's about to open.

Buffy: Who Are You??
Angel: Let's just say...I'm a friend.
Buffy: Yeah, well, maybe I don't need a friend.
Angel: I didn't say I was yours.

[holding a skimpy black dress in front of herself] "Hi, I'm an enormous slut!" [holds a blue floral dress in front of herself] "Hello, would you like a copy of The Watchtower?" [sighs] I used to be so good at this.

Joyce: Are you going out tonight?
Buffy: Yeah, I'm going to a club.
Joyce: Oh. Will there be boys there?
Buffy: No, Mom. It's a nun club.

Buffy: From now on, I'm only going to hang out with the living—I mean, lively...people.
Joyce: Okay. You have fun.

Willow: I thought Xander was going to show up.
Buffy: Oh, are you guys going out?
Willow: No, we're just friends. We used to go out, but we broke up.
Buffy: How come?
Willow: He stole my Barbie. [Beat] Oh, we were five.

Willow: I think boys are more interested in a girl who can talk.
Buffy: You really haven't been dating lately.

Giles: A vampire appears to be completely normal, until the feed is upon them. Only then do they reveal their true demonic visage.
Buffy: You're like a textbook with arms. I know this.

Okay, first of all, what's with the outfit? Live in the now, okay? You look like DeBarge.
Buffy [to Vampire]

Visit unabridged version HERE.