Line #6 PoliceAreUseless/SpongeBobSquarePants


1	[[quoteright:350:[[Recap/SpongeBobSquarePantsS3E5MermaidManAndBarnacleBoyIVDoingTime https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/8baf076e5991eb09e78315e0a7df26e6.jpg]]]]
2	[[caption-width-right:350:[[SarcasmMode Bikini Bottom's finest, ladies and gentlemen.]]]]
3	->''"Huh. Litterbugs!'' This ''is why I joined the force..."''
4	-->-- '''Officer John''', "[[Recap/SpongeBobSquarePantsS4E17DrivenToTearsRuleOfDumb Driven to Tears]]"
5
6	The police of [[WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants Bikini Bottom]] [[PoliceAreUseless rarely, if ever, respond to any real crimes]], but make [[FelonyMisdemeanor simple things like littering]] SeriousBusiness.
7	----
8	* In "Hall Monitor", the police are looking for the Maniac terrorizing Bikini Bottom, and decide to interrogate Patrick. It's made clear that Patrick is frightened of the Maniac's wanted poster, and instead of trying to move the interrogation forward, the two officers decide to toy with Patrick by pulling the poster up and down, before driving away laughing. Later, when [=SpongeBob=] realizes that [[TomatoInTheMirror he was the Maniac all along]], the police swarm him under the pretense that it's a confession, only for Mrs. Puff to claim that [=SpongeBob=] is ''her'' responsibility, which causes them to misinterpret it as ''her'' confessing, resulting in her going to jail for 6 months, and [=SpongeBob=] [[IdiotHoudini never gets punished]] for his destruction or impersonation of a detective.
9	* In "Something Smells", [=SpongeBob=]'s bad breath causes a driver to lose their vision and crash their boat, which [[EveryCarIsAPinto promptly explodes]] and kills the driver inside, leaving only the boat's pipe frame. Despite this, an officer ''still'' walks up and gives the boat a ticket.
10	* In "Life of Crime", [=SpongeBob=] and Patrick attempt to rat each other out to the police, before collectively confessing that they stole a balloon. When the officers hear about this, they decide to humor the two by throwing them in a cell, only to let them out a mere 3 seconds later. Only ''after'' the charade is up do they inform [=SpongeBob=] and Patrick that it was Free Balloon Day.
11	* In "No Free Rides", two officers are sitting in their car and see [=SpongeBob=] and Mrs. Puff fighting each other over the horizon, but only respond by saying, [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight "Hey, look."]] It's not until the boat is falling ''on top'' of them that they react in horror.
12	* In "[[Recap/SpongeBobSquarePantsS2E12PressureTheSmokingPeanut The Smoking Peanut]]", two officers enter [=SpongeBob=]'s house to interrogate him about the Oyster Incident, but once [=SpongeBob=] answers truthfully that he was at the stadium and was a witness of the peanut throwing, they instead arrest ''Patrick'' and put him on a ProducePelting display in the middle of the stadium.
13	* In "Sandy, [=SpongeBob=], and the Worm", when the Alaskan Bull Worm eats a boat that a police officer was giving a ticket, he picks up a fire hydrant, moves it in front of another boat, and gives it a ticket pretending that it was the first boat.
14	* In "Nasty Patty", two officers proclaim that they're gonna have to arrest [=SpongeBob=] and Mr. Krabs, under the charges of not being at the Krusty Krab to make them some Krabby Patties. Even with [=SpongeBob=] giving oddly specific expressions that would be a dead indicator that he's [[BadLiar acting suspicious]], the two never suspect anything until Mr. Krabs blocks the freezer from them, thinking that the Health Inspector's dead body is stuffed in there. Upon seeing the Health Inspector and believing him to be a zombie, the two officers beat him over the head with an anchor and a barrel.
15	* {{Subverted\|Trope}} in "Idiot Box" when Squidward believed he violated a law against, of all things, kicking boxes, only to find out the police noises he heard were part of [=SpongeBob=] and Patrick's imagination game.
16	* In "Doing Time", two officers are seen beating what looks to be a criminal with their batons, only to be revealed they're straightening out a dented parking meter. [=SpongeBob=] carelessly drives by in the background, knocking over an entire building, and they only decide to pursue him because they see his boat has no front license plate.
17	* {{Subverted\|Trope}} in "Party Pooper Pants" when [=SpongeBob=] is caught trying to break into his own house after getting locked out, and the police are perfectly okay after he explains the situation. {{Double subver\|sion}}ted when they proceed to arrest him for [[FelonyMisdemeanor not inviting them to the party]]. Using stocks instead of handcuffs.
18	* In "[=SpongeBob=] Meets the Strangler", the Strangler draws a picture of [=SpongeBob=] on the back of a police cruiser's seat and viciously tears it up, obviously implying he's going to kill him. After the police see this, and [=SpongeBob=] asks for their help, what do they do? They tease him about it.
19	* In "Driven to Tears", [=SpongeBob=] snitches to a police officer that Patrick was going over the speed limit, causing the cop to pull out a radar gun and disregard what [=SpongeBob=] said, as he scanned Patrick's parked speed of [=0MPH=]. Later, [=SpongeBob=] tears up Patrick's license [[GreenEyedMonster out of jealously]], and the scraps land in the hand of a cop flirting with a woman, who proceeds to chase after Patrick saying that littering is why he joined the force.
20	* In "Goo Goo Gas", [=SpongeBob=] calls the police on Plankton after finding out he [[FountainOfYouth turned Mr. Krabs into a baby]], but Plankton easily escapes their custody because they took him in with fish-sized handcuffs over twice that of Plankton's size.
21	* In "Krabby Road", the police go to the measure of keeping Plankton's cell in maximum security, but they ''don't'' go to the measure of using a substitute for bars that can accommodate his size, resulting in him easily sneaking out of jail underneath an officer's mustache.
22	* In "Ditchin'", the police cut [=SpongeBob=]'s badminton game short due to the fact that he's playing with Dale, a convicted felon who they know has violated his parole. The way they find out is by searching his pockets, pulling out a bag of Quasi-Gummy Chewy Candy Fish, and concluding that [[InsaneTrollLogic he's a cannibal]].
23	* In "Shuffleboarding", the jail warden makes absolutely no attempt at trying to resist [=SpongeBob=] arresting him for the crime of [[DisproportionateRetribution wasting a Krabby Patty]], let alone pointing out how Patrick shouldn't have imprisoned children for "loitering".
24	* In "Growth Spout", the police completely ignore a crazed Mr. Krabs running by them loudly searching for food just after responding to a call about someone going around stealing food.
25	* In "Someone's in the Kitchen with Sandy", the police were among those who made fun of a furless Sandy, yet in the ending, they [[MisplacedRetribution arrest her for nudity instead of arresting Plankton]], even though Sandy was only naked ''because'' Plankton stole her fur for his latest scheme.
26	* In "Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful", a police officer keeps giving [[CosmicPlaything Squidward]] tickets for littering in situations where he's simply ''near'' litter. Except for one moment when he properly tickets him for putting a trash-absorbed [=SpongeBob=] into a trash can on ''[=SpongeBob=]'s'' property.
27	* In "[=SpongeBob=]'s Last Stand", when [=SpongeBob=] and Patrick are protesting Plankton building a superhighway over the Krusty Krab and Jellyfish Fields, the police arrest them for ''playing a sitar without a license'', then, instead of taking them to jail, simply dump them on the outskirts of town. Said police are nowhere to be found when the jellyfish go on a RoaringRampageOfRevenge and trash Bikini Bottom.
28	* In "Summer Job", Mrs. Puff gets arrested for, what else, littering, but somehow, this ends up warranting her having to take driving classes during her prison sentence.
29	* In "The Monster Who Came to Bikini Bottom", the police seem to have successfully rounded up Rrarrg, except for the fact that the pen he's in only goes as high as his shins. An officer then proceeds to sneeze into his megaphone, causing Rrarrg to grow agitated and easily escape his pen.
30	* In "Tunnel of Glove", when Pearl and [=SpongeBob=] gets trapped inside the titular tunnel, the cops surrond the area and blocks people from entering. But then they barely make any efforts to actually help the two out and they instead wait around outside for three hours.
31	* {{Averted\|Trope}} in "Drive Thru" when a cop seems to want to inquire to Mr. Krabs about how disastrous his drive thru is, until he instead orders a take-out meal, only to then let the mayor of Bikini Bottom into the Krusty Krab to ''actually'' inquire about the drive thru.
32	* In "Sentimental Sponge", Squidward called the "Sanitation Police" to report [=SpongeBob=], who was piling garbage in his house that was getting everywhere, including Squidward's house. One of the cops does nothing but scoff at Squidward and call him a snitch. Keep in mind that littering is treated seriously in Bikini Bottom.
33	* In "Oral Report", [=SpongeBob=] manages to [[IdiotHoudini avoid getting arrested]] for both unlicensed boat driving ''and'' speeding by simply giving his oral report on boating safety to the officers trying to chase him down, as well as Mrs. Puff having to bear responsibility for his actions under penal code 26-1.
34	* In "Sweet and Sour Squid", Squidward's bad clarinet playing ends up being considered a [[FelonyMisdemeanor felonious act]], but Plankton ends up being arrested for it instead, and without provocation, the police promptly destroy Squidward's clarinet of their own accord.
35	* In "Fiasco!", the police have been chasing Plankton all throughout town after he stole Fiasco's Krabby Patty art piece, and once they finally catch him in [=SpongeBob=]'s house per Squidward alerting them to a noise complaint, they not only arrest Plankton, but also [=SpongeBob=], Gary, Patrick, ''[[ExaggeratedTrope and]]'' Squidward until they've managed to sort everything out. Through Mr. Krabs' testimony, they end up setting [=SpongeBob=], Gary, and Patrick free, but they still leave Squidward behind bars for no reason.
36	* In "Patrick-Man!", Patrick-Man sees what he thinks is Mrs. Puff trying to boatjack, when she's trying to help a student out of the boat who's locked inside. He proceeds to throw a net over her and leaves a note for the police to read which calls her a boat thief. Two cops come along and read the note, believe it, praise Patrick-Man for being a superhero, and haul Mrs. Puff off to prison, leaving the student still trapped in the boat.
37	* In "Little Yellow Book", two officers find a now-homeless Squidward laying on a bench and proclaim that he can't sleep there, only to recognize him as the diary reader and proceed to put him in a ProducePelting stockade, but not before making this quip.
38	-->'''Officer Nancy:''' I had a diary once! My ''brother'' read it. ''[[{{Beat}} (beat)]]'' I had a brother ''[[FelonyMisdemeanor once]]''!
39	* {{Double subver\|sion}}ted in "Bumper to Bumper" when a traffic officer rightfully chases after [=SpongeBob=] for reckless driving, only to then disregard the charges and shifts his focus to the fact that Mrs. Puff ended up violating her parole by going outside of Bikini Bottom.
40	* In "Jailbreak!", when Plankton and his cronies destroy the prison's back wall, the security guards pile up on top of each other to block their exit, which seems practical, until they realize that [[HoistByHisOwnPetard they're stuck inside the wall]] and can't apprehend the prisoners as they casually exit through the front gate. This then gets {{subverted\|trope}}, however, when it's revealed that the ''entire'' Bikini Bottom police force was hiding [[{{Hammerspace}} inside]] of the Krabby Patty Formula's safe, setting Plankton up to [[KansasCityShuffle fail when he thinks he's won]].
41	* In "The Executive Treatment", Business Industries has a group of officers set up to apprehend any corporate spies, and yet the stockholder eel sicks them on Scooter when he and Patrick get into a fight with rejection stamps that ''Patrick started''. Later, when [=SpongeBob=] visits Patrick in jail and offers to take him home after letting him eat the Executive Treatment Patty, Patrick rips off his prison uniform and goes back to wearing his executive outfit, causing the detention center guard to not recognize him and report Patrick as missing.
42	* In "Patrick! The Game", Squidward destroy's Patrick's board game out of [[RageBreakingPoint pent-up frustration]], only for the police to show up on cue and arrest him for [[FelonyMisdemeanor destruction of private property]]. Patrick then shows them his rules card, and for [[DisproportionateRetribution repeatedly breaking the rules of the game]], Squidward's sentence is upped ''even more''.
43	* In "Sharks vs. Pods", the Sharks and Pods are forbidden from doing their dance-off in the park because it's the cops' turf. Once they're caught trespassing, the cops show up, and rather than apprehending the two gangs, they instead ''[[NotSoAboveItAll start dancing themselves]]'', until they too are stopped by Internal Affairs, who [=SpongeBob=] then beats at dancing [[CurbStompBattle all by his lonesome]].
44	* In "Cave Dwelling Sponge", [=SpongeBob=] gets arrested for the acts of vandalism caused across Bikini Bottom by Spongy Spongy, and after he's proven innocent, the police decide not to arrest Spongy Spongy [[KarmaHoudini for all the acts of vandalism he caused]], all under the pretense that him destroying City Hall saved them the money of having it be taken down the following week.
45	* In "Krabby Patty Creature Feature", the police department radios an officer saying that patty zombies are on the loose, but he [[RefusalOfTheCall ignores the call]], saying he's on his break. Said zombies then proceed to hound his car and begin trashing it, with him more concerned that they're attacking him [[SkewedPriorities while he's on his break]] instead of trying to fight back.
46	* In "Call the Cops", the police have for whatever reason enlisted Patrick as their jail warden, who always shows up to work in an [[DrunkOnMilk ice cream-drunken stupor]], as well as having a room full of confiscated evidence that is never used for actual trial purposes. Some of the pieces of evidence are even elderly fish, completely alive and conscious.
47	* In "The Krusty Slammer", the jail warden arrests Mr. Krabs for setting free the prisoners he was paid to keep imprisoned, when it was their inhumane treatment from him that caused them to want to leave in the first place. She then has him imprisoned in the Chum Bucket with Plankton as his supervisor, even though her arresting Plankton for vandalizing the town was what provoked her to strike a deal with Mr. Krabs to begin with.

Context PoliceAreUseless / SpongeBobSquarePants