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Context Music / UnconditionallyGuaranteed

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1[[quoteright:350:]]˛[[caption-width-right:350: A "new electric ride" with "lazy music".]] ˛˛''Unconditionally Guaranteed'' is a 1974 album by Music/CaptainBeefheart, which provided a LighterAndSofter sound than his usual AvantGardeMusic exploits. Beefheart hoped that this would improve his poor sales. Unfortunately the record proved to be the low point of his entire career. His band members were so horrified when they heard the slick {{Rock}} sound with its uninspired lyrics that they all quit. They too were desperate for success, but this total SellOut was not something they wished to be associated with. To make matters worse ''Unconditionally Guaranteed'' failed to become a bestseller, was destroyed by critics and even [[TheyChangedItNowItSucks alienated his loyal fans]]. Together with ''Music/BluejeansAndMoonbeams'' (1974) its generally seen as Beefheart's weakest album and many Beefheart afficionados [[{{CanonDiscontinuity}} ignore both albums ever happened]]. Even Beefheart himself would later perceive both records as an OldShame and advised everybody who bought them [[CreatorBacklash to go to the store and ask for their money back]].˛˛Despite bad reviews most listeners will probably have the opinion it is rather SoOkayItsAverage than truly awful.˛˛'''Tracklist'''˛˛[[AC:Side One]]˛# "Upon the My-O-My" (2:43)˛# "Sugar Bowl" (2:13)˛# "New Electric Ride" (3:02)˛# "Magic Be" (2:55)˛# "Happy Love Song" (3:54)˛˛[[AC:Side Two]]˛# "Full Moon, Hot Sun" (2:19)˛# "I Got Love On My Mind" (3:08)˛# "This Is The Day" (4:51)˛# "Lazy Music"" (2:49)˛# "Peaches" (3:20)˛˛'''Personnel'''˛* Music/CaptainBeefheart: vocals, harmonica˛* Alex St. Clair: guitar˛* Bull "Zoot Horn Rollo" Harkleroad: guitar, glass finger guitar˛* Mark "Rockette Morton" Boston: bass˛* Art Tripp: drums, percussion˛* Mark Marcellino: keyboards˛* Andy [=DiMartino=]: acoustic guitar˛* Del Simmons: tenor sax, flute˛˛!!''Unconditionally Guaranteed Tropes''˛* CoversAlwaysLie: Despite Beefheart's unconditional guarantee that this record will be "100% pure and good" it disappointed many long time fans.˛* FaceOnTheCover: Beefheart grinning while holding money in his hands.˛* LighterAndSofter: This is the most easy listening Beefheart ever sounded.˛* MundaneMadeAwesome: "Sugar Bowl" about children who love to eat sugar from a bowl. "Full Moon, Hot Sun" about the sun and moon. "Peaches", the one true exciting song on the entire album, and its about a woman throwing down peaches from a tree or a methaphorical UnrequitedLove song. ˛* NaughtyIsGood: "Sugar Bowl"˛--> ''They know they're being naughty, but they love that sugar bowl''.˛* NewSoundAlbum: Beefheart changed his image from wearing a goatee to a moustache instead. The music is pure, uncomplicated {{Rock}} and lacks any WordSaladLyrics. ˛* NonAppearingTitle: The album title is not mentioned in any of the songs.˛* OneWordTitle: "Peaches".˛* PackagedAsOtherMedium: The album cover has the look of an advertisement.˛* RecordProducer: Andy [=DiMartino=].˛* {{Rock}}: This album sounds like typical early 1970s rock. ˛* SellOut: Beefheart provides this image on the album cover, where we can see him holding several dollars in his hand. He also defended himself against the perception that he was a SellOut with the immortal line:˛--> ''I have a right to win a [[UsefulNotes/GrammyAward Grammy]]!''˛* SillyLoveSongs: "Magic Be", "Happy Love Song", "I Got Love On My Mind", "This Is The Day" and "Lazy Music".˛* SolarAndLunar: "Full Moon, Hot Sun"˛--> ''Full moon, hot sun''˛--> ''Enough to make a good girl run''˛--> ''Get in the shade of the burning hot sun''˛--> ''Better hide, baby, before the full moon come''˛* TheSomethingSong: "Happy Love Song".˛* SurprisinglyGentleSong: The love songs show that Beefheart could be romantic. ˛* UnrequitedLove: "Peaches"˛--> ''I know you see me standing under that tree''˛--> ''As long as you got so many peaches''˛--> ''Why don't you throw one down to me?''˛--> ''If I was a cherry red bird''˛--> ''I'll fly up and take you along with me''˛----


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