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1Santa isn't the jolly old elf as portrayed in Children's stories. He's a bit more grotesque than that. His eyes are pimento-stuffed olives, his teeth are walnuts, and his body is made of sausages.
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3One snowy Christmas Eve, while visiting the Fry family, Sausagey Santa is attacked by an evil force that is driven to destroy Christmas forever. It is an anti-Christmas spirit that loathes everything having to do with children and Jesus. His name is Frosty the Neo-Nazi Snowman. After Frosty steals his magic bag of presents, Santa calls upon Matthew Fry and his wife, Decapitron (a brutish warrior woman with a peculiar Christmas fetish and a candy cane sword), to help get it back and save Christmas for everyone.
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5!! This novella contains examples of:
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7* BadSanta: Santa used to be evil and condemned to perform good deeds for all eternity. He eventually had all his evil extracted from him so that he could enjoy his altruistic existence.
8* ButtMonkey: Matthew is abused by his wife, raped by an elf, permanently shrunk to elf-size and just generally dunked on by the entire universe. He takes it with more aplomb than is usual for this trope, though - he's Sly Guy Fry, after all.
9* ChildHater: Santa used to be this, which is why he was sentenced to the IronicHell of being a FriendToAllChildren forever.
10* CompleteImmortality: Santa can't die, ever. He was once [[DeathSeeker desperate enough]] to ''[[DeaderThanDead put himself through a meat grinder]]'', but he's still alive, just stuffed in a sausage skin.
11* CreepyGood: Santa looks positively nightmarish, but he's kindly and benevolent.
12* DoubleStandardRapeFemaleOnMale: The female elf rapes Matthew by means of underwear teleportation (it MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext). This is treated as no big deal and just another minor humiliation he has to put up with.
13* IncredibleShrinkingMan: Matthew is shrunk down to elf-size to make his cooperation with the elves easier. He's then casually informed that there is no way to reverse to process.
14* ShadowArchetype: Frosty is the immortal evil of Santa, taken physical form after it was excised from him.
15* WorldHalfEmpty: Matthew's sentiment in the end. Things weren't perfect before, they aren't perfect now, but life goes on.

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