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| 5 | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic Main]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2007Episodes 2007]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2008Episodes 2008]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2009Episodes 2009]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2010Episodes 2010]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2011Episodes 2011]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2012Episodes 2012]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2013Episodes 2013]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2014Episodes 2014]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2015Episodes 2015]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2016Episodes 2016]] | '''2017''' | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2018Episodes 2018]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2019Episodes 2019]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2020Episodes 2020]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2021Episodes 2021]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2022Episodes 2022]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2023Episodes 2023]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2024Episodes 2024]] |
| 6 | |
| 7 | '''Moments pages are Administrivia/SpoilersOff. Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned.''' |
| 8 | |
| 9 | [[foldercontrol]] |
| 10 | |
| 11 | ---- |
| 12 | |
| 13 | [[folder: Top 11 Best Movie Sequels]] |
| 14 | * The "Sequel Month: The Sequel" logo is the [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Critic's annoyed head]] [[ToiletHumor swirling down a toilet while pooping and flushing sounds are heard]]. |
| 15 | * "Why Top 11? Because by god I need as many of these as possible." |
| 16 | [[/folder]] |
| 17 | |
| 18 | [[folder: Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel]] |
| 19 | * The Critic describes Dave, played again by Creator/JasonLee, as "a pair of shredded vocal cords with a human being attached". |
| 20 | * In the opening scene, in which the Chipmunks perform at a rock concert, Dave tells Alvin to share the spotlight because it's not all about him. The Critic is appalled: |
| 21 | -->'''Critic:''' ''[scoffs]'' Where would Alvin ''ever'' get that idea in a band called "Alvin and the Chipmunks"?! You know, for the longest time, I didn't even know they were called Simon and Theodore, I thought they were called ''[points to Simon]'' "And-the" and ''[points to Theodore]'' "Chipmunks"! But please, continue to keep him modest! |
| 22 | * With Dave and the grandmother character being forcibly removed from the plot due to unfortunate near death accidents: |
| 23 | -->'''Critic:''' Man, in literally five minutes, two of the caretakers who should have been major roles have been taken out. At this point, everyone will be dead at the 25 minute mark.\ |
| 24 | '''[[Series/FawltyTowers Basil Fawlty]]:''' Two dead, 25 to go. |
| 25 | * When Alvin and Simon charge at the jocks, NC freezes the image to point out that the shot of Simon with teeth bared would probably make the poster for a film titled ''Chipceased''. |
| 26 | * After the "[[{{Pun}} Theodorable]]" line, a gunshot is suddenly heard. Critic then picks up a note that came with the movie. |
| 27 | --> '''Critic:''' "Every time certain lines from this movie are uttered, an award-winning playwright shoots himself." You might want to see how Creator/LinManuelMiranda is doing. |
| 28 | * Critic notices the overabundance of [[ClicheStorm cliched]] [[TwoLinesNoWaiting subplots]] and has his crew do the same, with less-than-stellar results, though still more coherent than the ones in the film. Of note is when Chester and Doe (who he asked to have a dance off) reveal their dancing instructor: Darth Vader. |
| 29 | -->'''Critic:''' This better be a big hit.\ |
| 30 | '''Vader:''' It wouldn't be the first time I've obliterated these rodents.[[labelnote:Context]]''Road Chip'' was released head-to-head with ''Film/TheForceAwakens'' and was, well, ''obliterated'' at the box office.[[/labelnote]] |
| 31 | * "The Chipettes enter the film in their birthday suits. How did these movies not have censor bars? Don't you know the '90s [[Film/SpaceJam gave cartoon animals private parts]]?" |
| 32 | * His reaction to the cameo from UsefulNotes/{{NASCAR}} on Fox's former mascot Digger. |
| 33 | -->'''Critic:''' Don't make me do it. Please god, don't make me do it. ''[{{beat}} followed by the Critic grabbing his tablet and asking a question in Yahoo Answers]'' Who's Digger? "Digger is a character from NASCAR when shown on the Fox Network[[note]]At least, until he was retired in 2012 owing to criticism from fans.[[/note]] How dare you make me look up NASCAR you monsters!" |
| 34 | * The Critic's reaction upon hearing "[[UnintentionalPeriodPiece In the words of]] [[UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump the Donald]] - '[[Series/TheApprentice You're fired]]!'" |
| 35 | -->'''Critic''': (''{{Beat}}'') Yes. ''[[SarcasmMode Those]]'' will be the most memorable words [[OvershadowedByControversy that we ever take away from "The Donald"]]. I suppose when you think about it, there- (''whistle'') ''How is he tweeting about me already''?! [[BeyondTheImpossible I'm not even done with the joke]]!\ |
| 36 | '''Trump's Twitter''': Nostalgia Critic's [[BoringInsult not funny]]. Boo. |
| 37 | * Critic realizes that the whole point of the whole movie was actually about Jeanette's fear of heights which was NEVER brought up before, he gets up from his chair and [[HeadDesk slams his head against the wall really hard]]. |
| 38 | * After finishing the Squeakquel style review, Critic is excited about all the money he's going to make, only to be shocked that it did just average, paralleling the real Squeakquel's box office performance. After the D'aww girls and Malcolm let him know that the REAL way to make money is to put a chipmunk voice on an adult film, Critic, [[BrickJoke in reference to Alvin's use of the "Fava Beans and a nice chianti" line earlier in the movie]], decides to chipmunk ''Film/TheSilenceOfTheLambs''. He admits that he enjoys it much better. After an angry parent calls to complain, he dismissively tells them that he has their money now, and hangs up. |
| 39 | [[/folder]] |
| 40 | |
| 41 | [[folder: Top 11 Worst Movie Sequels]] |
| 42 | * The background footage for the numbers? [[ThisIsGonnaSuck A guy crying]] [[CornerOfWoe in the corner]]. |
| 43 | * "Why Top 11? Because the Top 80 would go too long!" |
| 44 | * In complaining about the ''[[Film/TransformersFilmSeries Transformers]]'' sequels, all of which he thinks are the ''[[ItsTheSameNowItSucks exact same movie]]'', the Critic is especially upset at the explosions featured therein, which he thinks have become so meaningless now as to become the equivalent of a bucket of paint. |
| 45 | -->'''Critic:''' Thank you, Creator/MichaelBay, explosions are now a bucket of paint to me! |
| 46 | ** In the same vein, he thinks that the ''Transformers'' sequels are so boring that they are just white noise, and thinks that that should be Michael Bay's new nickname, White Noise. |
| 47 | ** Finally, his ultimate conclusion about why the ''Transformers'' sequels are the way they are: "These films ask the question Americans sadly have to ask a lot: if it makes money, why change it?" |
| 48 | * During his rant on ''Film/BatmanAndRobin'', the Critic inevitably does a CallBack to [[Recap/TheNostalgiaCriticS1E15 his formal review of that film]] when the infamous Bat Credit Card shows up, and [[GenreSavvy clearly shows restraint (i.e., gritted teeth)]] [[NeverLiveItDown while talking about it]]. |
| 49 | -->"They care so little [about Batman] that they even gave him a... you-know-what...!" |
| 50 | ** Moments earlier, he gripes about how this is basically a "diet version of [[Series/Batman1966 the Adam West show]]", and then adds... |
| 51 | --->"It's like if ''Film/{{Spaceballs}}'' was the fifth ''Star Wars'' movie [''Film/TheEmpireStrikesBack'']. Hell, it's not even that, because ''Spaceballs'' is funny! It's more like if ''Film/DisasterMovie'' was the fifth ''Star Wars'' movie!" |
| 52 | * About the ''Franchise/PiratesOfTheCaribbean'' sequels, which did not make the official list, but are included in the Critic's runners-up... |
| 53 | -->'''Critic:''' Stop being so needlessly long and complicated! You're a ''Pirates'' movie, not ''Film/LawrenceOfArabia''! |
| 54 | [[/folder]] |
| 55 | |
| 56 | [[folder: The Smurfs 2]] |
| 57 | * At the beginning, The Critic talks about the downside of [[Film/TheSmurfs the original movie]], only to realize that it would take all day to talk about all the downsides. |
| 58 | -->'''Critic''': Actually, let's make it easier - the ''up''side is: it made a lot of money. |
| 59 | * The conversation that Critic has with [[WebVideo/AndreTheBlackNerd Black Nerd]] when he tries to get him to co-review the film, only for Black Nerd to pass [[NiceCharacterMeanActor in a very abrasive, uncharacteristic way]]. |
| 60 | -->'''Black Nerd:''' I ain't got time for this. I got an underground gambling ring to take care of. Not to mention all those hot Nintendo Switches that I'm-a sell on eBay... [[FellOffTheBackOfATruck that fell off a truck...]] You ain't hear that from me. Alright, man. Peace, loser! ''(gets up and leaves)''\ |
| 61 | '''Critic:''' Yeah, that's right, you better run!\ |
| 62 | '''Black Nerd:''' ''(abruptly returning)'' ''What'chu say, punk!?''\ |
| 63 | '''Critic:''' ''(recoiling)'' Nothing, nothing!\ |
| 64 | '''Black Nerd:''' Mm-hmm. Watch yourself. Oh, and by the way, ''(speaking in nerd voice)'' call me when you do a ''WesternAnimation/SmurfsTheLostVillage'' review. I'll be right there for you, Critic. [[SigningOffCatchPhrase I love you like a play cousin, I'm outie 5000! Chain Chomp Yomp!]] ''(normal voice again)'' Ya punk-ass motherfucker! |
| 65 | * The running gag of Critic dubbing Papa Smurf's dialogue so that he sounds like a pervert when talking to Smurfette at the beginning of the film. |
| 66 | * Critic tries to figure out why Patrick thinks Victor is such a bad stepdad and grandfather, in spite of the fact that he does nothing, nor does there seem to be any reason for Patrick to hate him. He then launches into SarcasmMode and basically calls Victor literally Satan for being a fun stepdad (with the exception of giving away Patrick's pet parrot because he was allergic, although actually it was Patrick that was allergic to the bird) for most of the review. |
| 67 | * Patrick's stepdad, Victor, [[ForcedTransformation is turned into a duck by Gargamel]]. Before Patrick can be eaten by a giant Azriel, [[BigDamnHeroes Victor literally flies in to save the day]]. |
| 68 | -->'''Victor:''' Put him down! |
| 69 | -->'''Critic as Victor:''' Aflac [[PrecisionFStrike Motherfucker!]] |
| 70 | * After Smurfette threatens to use her wand against Gargamel, he claims she won't because [[LukeIAmYourFather he is her father]], and that she should "[[Franchise/StarWars search [her] feelings, [as she] knows it to be true]]". This leads to Darth Vader standing next to the Critic, FlippingTheBird at the movie, and silently walking away. The Critic then states he was surprised [[TemptingFate Vader didn't do his]] BigNo, only for Vader to do it directly afterwards. Later, after Patrick makes an incredibly lame {{pun}} (calling his stepdad duck "[[UsefulNotes/MartinLutherKingJr Martin Luther Wing]]"), Vader appears and flips the movie off again. |
| 71 | --->'''Critic:''' But that wasn't ''Star Wars'' related!\ |
| 72 | '''Vader:''' It just feels good, okay? |
| 73 | * The markings on Duck!Victor's beak look like a Hitler mustache, leading Critic to complain that he's now thinking about Duck Hitler. This leads to the clip of Donald Duck doing a rapid-fire nazi salute from Der Führer's Face. Later, Duck Victor makes a holocaust joke ("It starts with the ducks, and soon no one is safe!"). The Critic is off-put at "Duck Hitler" making that joke. |
| 74 | * Similarly, he's bemused by Jayma dressing up as Creator/AudreyHepburn's character in ''Film/BreakfastAtTiffanys''. |
| 75 | -->'''Critic''': I'm just astonished there's a ''Film/BreakfastAtTiffanys'' homage and yet no Creator/MickeyRooney [[YellowFace makeup]]. Imagine how that would've gone! ''({{Beat}} as nothing happens)'' Oh ''hell'' no I'm not doing a sketch on that, I wanna keep ''this'' channel! |
| 76 | * The Critic's constant mocking of Patrick's son, only to find his foot firmly in his mouth near the end when he learns that the same actor was nominated for a SAG award as Jack from ''Literature/{{Room}}''. |
| 77 | -->'''Critic''': [[StunnedSilence Th-they grow up so fast...]] ''[[SuddenlyShouting But that's what these Smurfs movies do!]]'' They take great talent and use them at their worst. |
| 78 | * His mockery of the kid's performance with parody takes gets especially funny with how venomous he sounds. By the end of the gag, the kid's voice comes eerily close to sounding like Creator/GilbertGottfried. |
| 79 | -->'''Blue:''' Daddy and Victor!\ |
| 80 | '''Take 47:''' DEHDEH PLEH PLESTER!\ |
| 81 | '''Take 63:''' HEKSHE FAHBLEHMLEH!\ |
| 82 | '''Take 127:''' '''''PLAH!''''' |
| 83 | * At the end of the review, Tamara and [[RememberTheNewGuy Bill]][[labelnote:Context]]A character played by Malcolm who appears out of nowhere with no real introduction, similar to Hackus and Vexy in the movie.[[/labelnote]] chastise the Critic for only reviewing two movies for Sequel Month. They manage to convince the Critic to review one more sequel, and the video ends on a {{Cliffhanger}}... [[SubvertedTrope only for Bill to hold up a sign saying the next review will be]] "''Garfield 2''" (''Film/{{Garfield}}: [[PrinceAndPauper A Tale of Two Kitties]]''). |
| 84 | [[/folder]] |
| 85 | |
| 86 | [[folder: Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties]] |
| 87 | * The Critic questions why a dungeon that Garfield was locked in has an easily-accessible escape route. This leads to a sketch where Malcolm Joker traps Tamara Batgirl in a room about to be filled with laughing gas... only the Joker ''left the door open''. When Batgirl leaves, the Joker is sitting on a chair and eating a granola bar. He turns around to face her, stares for a few seconds and turns away from her, continuing to eat as Batgirl walks off confused. |
| 88 | * The Critic mentioning why so many kid's sequels referenced ''Film/TheSilenceOfTheLambs'' wondering if there was a {{Crossover}} with ''WesternAnimation/TheAmazingWorldOfGumball''. Gumball ''has'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cbcw0ZrLFQ made its own reference of the film]]. |
| 89 | * His comment on how Prince's late owner has left his estate to Prince: |
| 90 | -->'''Critic:''' That's right, legality be damned! Cats can now own property and titleship! Come on, as if anyone would be stupid enough to give uncontrollable power to a [[UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump dumb orange narcissist with no experience whatsoever.]] Well, even if they did, I imagined [[TakeThat his inauguration would be about this big.]] ''[shows the small crowd of farm animals]'' |
| 91 | * Upon finding out that the Prince is voiced by Tim Curry, Critic improves his speech to the animals by replacing it with the one from ''Film/Legend1985''. The juxtaposition between the [[EvilIsHammy overly dramatic]] speech and the farm animals is hilarious. |
| 92 | * Critic is fully [[RootingForTheEmpire on board]] with Dargis's plan to turn the estate into a spa, pointing out that if he hires a good financial planner the animals would be taken care of anyway and otherwise the house is a huge fancy litterbox. |
| 93 | * Critic notices that Billy Connolly's makeup and performance makes him look and sound an awful lot like Creator/JohnCleese and Critic is just imagining what happened when John turned down the role. |
| 94 | --> '''Rob as Director:''' Oh, please, come on. Come on.\ |
| 95 | '''Doug as Cleese:''' No, no! No, no! I've done many things I'm not proud of: ''[[WesternAnimation/AnAmericanTail Fievel Goes West]]'', ''[[Film/{{Beethoven}} Beethoven's Christmas Adventure]]'', ''[[WesternAnimation/TheSwanPrincess Swan Princess]]''. But I'm drawing the line at ''The Tale of Two Titties''!\ |
| 96 | '''Rob as Director:''' Actually, it's "Two Kitties."\ |
| 97 | '''Doug as Cleese:''' I know what I said. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to film in ''Film/TheAdventuresOfPlutoNash''.\ |
| 98 | '''Rob as Director:''' What... Over our movie?!\ |
| 99 | '''Doug as Cleese:''' Not proudly, but firmly. Fuck off, pigs. |
| 100 | * NC's extremely shocked reaction to [[GroinAttack the dog's attack on Dargis's trousers.]] |
| 101 | -->'''''JEHEHESUS!''''' ''It's supposed to be a crotch shot, not castration! This is like a Series/GameOfThrones death!'' '''''CHRIST!''''' |
| 102 | * A gun is being pointed towards a duck and a rabbit, leading the Critic to include the DuckSeasonRabbitSeason sound clip from ''WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes''. |
| 103 | [[/folder]] |
| 104 | |
| 105 | [[folder: Cool World]] |
| 106 | * The Critic was originally going to review ''WesternAnimation/AmericanPop'' InMemoriam of its director Creator/RalphBakshi, but he receives a call that tells him he was still alive. And Bakshi (played by Rob) arrives in the studio to annoy the Critic, complete with DerangedAnimation in the background and at one point teleporting in with a [[WackySoundEffect wacky sound effect]]! |
| 107 | ** Bakshi then orders the Critic to review ''[[BaitAndSwitch Cool World]]'' instead. When the Critic protests that it was a flop and didn't get a cult following like Bakshi's other films, Bakshi replies that [[TaughtByExperience it is important to understand your failures and shortcomings so you can overcome them]], which the Critic admits is profound. It leads to this... |
| 108 | --->'''Bakshi:''' [[NoodleIncident Have I mentioned how many producers I've punched in the face lately?]]\ |
| 109 | '''Critic:''' No, but nevertheless, you do have a good point.\ |
| 110 | '''Bakshi:''' Yeah, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint more producers need to be beaten.]]\ |
| 111 | '''Critic:''' [[BigNo NO!]] [[TakeThat ...Maybe.]] |
| 112 | * The Critic chastises Bakshi for throwing stuff in [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment that has no place or reason for being present in a scene]], only to get this reply. |
| 113 | -->'''Bakshi:''' Hey! I just wanted to show the s-s-s-studio what happens [[ExecutiveMeddling when you mess]] with an artist's vision!\ |
| 114 | '''Critic:''' [[PyrrhicVictory You have a bad movie with your name on it]].\ |
| 115 | '''Bakshi:''' ''And'' [[MoneyDearBoy get paid for it]].\ |
| 116 | '''Critic:''' ...I can't tell if you're my hero or [[InsaneTrollLogic the worst kind of crazy]].\ |
| 117 | '''Bakshi:''' [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs Can't it be both?]] |
| 118 | ** Naturally, the Critic interrupts Bakshi's meal - an eyeball and mustard sandwich. |
| 119 | * "I know you can [[ChewingTheScenery chew the scenery]], but what do you do when [[RussianReversal the scenery chews you]]?" |
| 120 | * Later, Bakshi reveals to the Critic that he escaped from the "Institute for the Artistically Insane", along with [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julie_Taymor Julie Taymor]] and Creator/SpikeLee. They also noted there was someone else who tried to escape but failed: Creator/MNightShyamalan. And his cellmate is Creator/WoodyAllen. |
| 121 | -->'''Shyamalan:''' But I had two hit movies back-to-back![[note]]''Film/TheVisit'' and ''Film/{{Split}}''.[[/note]]\ |
| 122 | '''Allen:''' Don't worry about it, just get yourself nominated for another Oscar and they'll forget all the horrible things you've done! |
| 123 | ** The setup for this gag is particularly great. |
| 124 | --->'''Critic''': Where the hell did you come from; follow-up question - who the hell are you?!\ |
| 125 | '''Julie''': I'm Julie Taymor, Director of ''countless'' Broadway hits and [[SoOkayItsAverage kind-of-good]] movies.\ |
| 126 | '''Bakshi''': She helped me escape!\ |
| 127 | '''Critic''': Oh, okay. So- [[DoubleTake what the fuck do you mean "escape"]]? |
| 128 | * The motorcycle crash scene, which results in Frank's mother getting killed, is framed as a Canadian PSA that warns against riding motorcycles, spoofing the MoodWhiplash-style Canadian [=PSAs=] in many of the Critic's past nostalgic commercials videos. |
| 129 | -->'''Critic:''' I knew it, they're so sneaky! |
| 130 | * When Frank is brought to Cool World by Dr. Whiskers, the Critic remarks that [[Franchise/MegaMan Dr. Wily]] has created a new Robot Master: "Brad Pitt Man". |
| 131 | * After Frank is brought to Cool World, the Critic quips that Brad Pitt is now in an entirely different movie: ''[[Film/WhoFramedRogerRabbit Who Plagiarized Roger Rabbit]]''. |
| 132 | * "My God, I've created anime!" |
| 133 | * In the movie, Jack tells Frank that he created Cool World, but Frank tells him that Cool World exists with or without him, because Frank is not one of his creations. In response, the Critic delivers this gem: |
| 134 | -->'''Critic:''' Oh, ''now'' everything makes sense! Thanks for clearing that up, we don't need any further information beyond that. That's like God coming out and saying...\ |
| 135 | ''(Cut to a shot of the Earth)''\ |
| 136 | '''God:''' ''(voiced by Doug)'' I created the cosmos and the universe!\ |
| 137 | ''(Cut to a shot of the map of Sweden)''\ |
| 138 | '''God:''' Oh, except for Sweden. I don't know where that came from. Oh, well, I'll just accept it, Sweden... |
| 139 | * [[LargeHam "THIIIIIIIINGS!!!"]] |
| 140 | * At the nightclub, where Frank Sinatra, Jr., is "figuring out the best way to fire his agent", there is this reaction to Jack being thrown out when Holli decides to sing "Let's Make Love" with Sinatra, Jr.: |
| 141 | -->'''Critic:''' ''(imitating bouncer throwing out Jack)'' The price to go in is $20 ''and'' your girlfriend! Also, you don't get to go in. |
| 142 | * [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext When Jack inexplicably fulfills his destiny to be a hero and stop Holli from unleashing Cool World on the real world]], Ralph Bakshi provides audio commentary for this scene: |
| 143 | -->'''Bakshi:''' Ladies and gentlemen, [[ExecutiveMeddling according to the new screenplay I was just handed before shooting this scene]], this was all about Jack becoming a hero. [[AssPull I don't get it, either]], but I made ''WesternAnimation/{{Wizards}}''. I'm not saying that to impress you, I'm saying that to make myself feel better. You may now return to this bullshit. |
| 144 | ** Bakshi provides additional commentary on the scene where [[DisneyDeath an apparently-deceased Frank is brought back to life as a Doodle]], [[MakesAsMuchSenseInContext because when a 'Noid is killed by a Doodle, they become a Doodle themselves]]: |
| 145 | --->'''Bakshi:''' This is the director again. I'm looking at the script here I just received... Yeah, [[BearerOfBadNews I'm just an errand boy]]... |
| 146 | [[/folder]] |
| 147 | |
| 148 | [[folder: Old vs. New: Evil Dead]] |
| 149 | * Hyper and Devil Boner chain Critic to a chair so he can give them couples' therapy, and he's so used to being kidnapped that he thinks [[Franchise/SuperMarioBros there must be a plumber somewhere constantly being told]] he's [[YourPrincessIsInAnotherCastle in another castle.]] |
| 150 | -->'''Devil Boner:''' What can I say? We're bound tighter when ''you're'' bound tighter. |
| 151 | * Hyper and Devil Boner's bickering in general for acting so childish and not even making sense half the time. Also, early on when Hyper covers her ears and tries to drown out Devil Boner, so he starts shooting his gun off asking if she can hear ''that.'' |
| 152 | ** When the remake gets a point and Devil Boner starts rubbing it in: |
| 153 | --->'''Hyper:''' It's like you to gloat!\ |
| 154 | '''Devil Boner:''' Well, it's like you to ''goat!''\ |
| 155 | '''Hyper:''' What?\ |
| 156 | '''Devil Boner:''' You heard me!\ |
| 157 | '''Hyper:''' Yeah, I heard you, but I didn't get it.\ |
| 158 | '''Devil Boner:''' [[InsaneTrollLogic You didn't get it just to spite me!]] |
| 159 | * Critic suggests Hyper and Devil Boner use a puppet and action figure to work out their problems, but Devil Boner for some reason gives his figure a weird high pitched voice that confuses Hyper, culminating in a fight where both the action figure (dubbed "Mini Boner") and puppet "die" and they panic over how to send off the Hyper puppet. |
| 160 | -->'''Hyper:''' She wanted to be cremated!\ |
| 161 | '''Devil Boner:''' ... Puppet you is very specific!\ |
| 162 | '''Hyper:''' She prepared for everything except you killing her ass! |
| 163 | * When the Critic declares Mia to be a better protagonist than "Ashley" ([[CharacterizationMarchesOn Ash from the first]] Franchise/EvilDead), Devil Boner's hand becomes sentient and tries to kill him for saying bad about Creator/BruceCampbell - D.B doesn't ''want'' to kill Critic because they're on the same side with the New being superior, but his hand can't let it slide. D.B. then decides the only solution... is to cut off his Bruce Campbell-loving hand... [[MoodWhiplash but then stops himself mere moments before the chainsaw blade touches his wrist and decides to just get over it]]. |
| 164 | * "Best [[PrecisionFStrike Fucking]] Supportive Cast" |
| 165 | ** "[[AC:BEST FUCKING SUPPORTIVE CAST]]" |
| 166 | ** Set up by Benny coming in to rescue the Critic, only to sit down on the couch to participate. |
| 167 | * When Hyper and Devil Boner can't solve their problems with Critic's help, they get some proper help from Benny's brother specializing in couples therapy: Bill! |
| 168 | * Critic about to shot by Devil Boner, in the most deadpan tone possible: [[FaceDeathWithDignity "My one regret is not talking like a pirate on Talk Like A Pirate Day. I should've given that a chance."]] |
| 169 | * Hyper Boner happily go off at the end of the episode together, but Critic is still tied up. |
| 170 | -->'''Critic:''' I miss food. |
| 171 | [[/folder]] |
| 172 | |
| 173 | [[folder: Top 11 WTF Alternate Endings]] |
| 174 | * "Why Top 11? Because the alternate version [[FocusGroupEnding didn't test well with focus groups]]." |
| 175 | * "It's not an ''Evil Dead'' movie without Ash getting screwed." |
| 176 | [[/folder]] |
| 177 | |
| 178 | [[folder: Balto]] |
| 179 | * [[EveryoneKnowsMorse "MOVIE LAGGING NEED STORY SEND DISEASE PREFERABLY CHILD KILLING"]] |
| 180 | * The Music/PhilCollins songs that the Critic added in during the serious moments, showing his relief that this movie isn't a musical. |
| 181 | * He is genuinely entertained by how ObviouslyEvil Steel is, and hams it up mimicking his deranged animation. |
| 182 | -->'''Critic''': Good lord, it's like his face has ten different personalities, and [[EatsBabies they all eat children]]! |
| 183 | ** He mentions Steel is such an "obvious, yet evil" liar, [[CorruptPolitician he should get a job]] [[TakeThat at the White House]]. |
| 184 | --->'''Steele Spicer''': The other dogs died and I was the only one left. Period! Also, the race I was a part of had the largest audience to ever witness a dog sled race. Period!\ |
| 185 | '''Reporter''': But sir, we have eyes--\ |
| 186 | '''Steele Spicer''': Your eyes are wrong! It's an alternative bark!\ |
| 187 | '''Reporter''': But [[Series/SaturdayNightLive Melissa]]--\ |
| 188 | '''Steele Spicer''': Stop calling me that! |
| 189 | ** He's similarly bemused by the insane amounts of MoodWhiplash present, consistently following very heavy, dramatic moments with the PluckyComicRelief. |
| 190 | --->'''Critic''': (''After the coffin scene'') Sugar-fried Jesus, what do you follow a scene like ''that'' up with? (''Cue the comic relief'') Ah yes. The comedy stylings of characters you'd much rather ''eat'' than listen to. This seems ''totally'' appropriate now! |
| 191 | * The Critic's increasing panic as nature [[EverythingTryingToKillYou keeps trying to kill the dogs]] throughout the entire third act, with them going from a broken bridge to an avalanche to [[StalactiteSpite falling icicles]] with [[PerilRollover virtually no breaks in between]]. He concludes that the reason Balto doesn't speak during these sequences is that his dialogue would just be "[[OhCrap Shit!]]" over and over. |
| 192 | ** He theorizes that Balto's return to the town should have been a HopeSpot followed by [[RocksFallEveryoneDies a meteor hitting him]], just for consistency's sake. |
| 193 | * Likewise, his complete shock at the coffins being made for the children, which rapidly turns into a BlackComedyBurst as he envisions children from other media being laid to rest in them. These include [[Literature/AChristmasCarol Tiny Tim,]] Literature/TheLittleMatchGirl and a Manga/FullmetalAlchemist spoiler (Chimera Nina Tucker). |
| 194 | -->'''Critic:''' Don't act like that can't happen, there's dogs in this world! |
| 195 | * At the end of the movie, Grandma Rosy is telling her granddaughter about how the entire story of Balto is true and how the events of the movie were real. Critic smiles, pulling up his phone and trying to resist from making a joke. |
| 196 | -->'''Critic:''' I shouldn't. ''(looks over at phone)'' I really shouldn't. ''(looks at phone again)'' C'mon, let the kids have their true story. ''(looks at phone again, tempted to make the joke)''\ |
| 197 | '''DO IT'''\ |
| 198 | '''Critic:''' OKAY! OKAY! ''(Quickly scrolls through phone)'' ''(speaks while typing in a search engine)'' "Balto facts" ''(looks up at audience)'' You're not gonna like it.\ |
| 199 | '''DO IT'''\ |
| 200 | '''Critic:''' You're ''really'' not gonna like it.\ |
| 201 | '''DO IT''' |
| 202 | ** He eventually gives in and looks up the true story of the serum run and how in reality, [[VeryLooselyBasedOnATrueStory Balto didn't even do the majority of the run and only received credit for the run because he was a part of the final team]] to deliver the medicine. We cut to the niece in "the future" reading the same article, glaring at Aunt Despair in awkward silence. |
| 203 | --->'''Niece:''' ... This was all [[SuddenlyShouting BULLSHIT, WASN'T IT]]?!?! |
| 204 | ** After Critic shows up to get the "Balto" DVD (revealing he had yet to film the video), Niece asks if this means they aren't actually in the future. Critic responds [[LockedOutOfTheLoop looking confused as fuck]]. |
| 205 | --->'''Critic:''' [[CrossesTheLineTwice You're a]] ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice special]]'' [[CrossesTheLineTwice kid, aren't ya?]] |
| 206 | *** Apparently, you can [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall make captions appear]] via the Satanic arts. |
| 207 | ** And finally, we get the answer to the question we probably shouldn't have asked: ''why'' are Niece and Aunt Despair here? |
| 208 | --->'''Aunt''': Oh, I just wanted to leave her here so that I didn't have to tell her that ''both'' parents died from double-erotic asphyxiation. ''(Cut to the niece looking horrified)'' Well, that backfired. [[ParentalAbandonment She's all yours, Critic]]! |
| 209 | *** "A child's mind is ''very'' delicate! '''FLOOR IT!'''" |
| 210 | *** Critic's response to being left with a child. |
| 211 | ---->'''Critic:''' Don't worry, I know a certain long-faced, balding, big-toothed comedian who would love to take care of you.\ |
| 212 | ''(cut to Critic throwing the niece outside to Chester A. Bum)''\ |
| 213 | '''Critic:''' She's all yours, Chester.\ |
| 214 | '''Chester:''' OH, MY GOD, I'M A MOTHER!\ |
| 215 | [[/folder]] |
| 216 | |
| 217 | [[folder: Should Bad Singers Be Dubbed?]] |
| 218 | * The Critic criticizes Emma Watson's performance in the newer ''[[Film/BeautyAndTheBeast2017 Beauty and the Beast]]'' film. The audience boos him, and he responds like [[Franchise/StarWars Emperor Palpatine]] and relishes in their anger. |
| 219 | ** He doesn't even get into full costume for this, he just [[StylisticSuck throws a cloth over his head]]. |
| 220 | ** Later, he does admit that this probably wasn't an easy role [[TakeThat for Watson to portray]] Creator/KristenStewart [[DullSurprise portraying Belle.]] |
| 221 | [[/folder]] |
| 222 | |
| 223 | [[folder: [=Fant4stic=] (Fantastic Four 2015)]] |
| 224 | * The review opens up with a DarkerAndEdgier reboot of the Adequately Impressive Three from the [[Recap/TheNostalgiaCriticS8E10 previous review]] of a [[Film/FantasticFour2005 Fantastic Four movie]], complete with all three members being [[ComicBookMoviesDontUseCodenames referred to by their real names]], [[MovieSuperheroesWearBlack black costumes]], [[WhoForgotTheLights taking place in predominantly dark rooms]] and being referred to as [[Letters2Numbers Ad3quat3ly Impr3ssiv3 Thr33]]... and proceed to sit around and watch ''Series/JessicaJones2015'' on Netflix. |
| 225 | * The Critic talks about how the 20th Century Fox logo flashes the letter F similar to how they flash the letter X for the X-Men movies. |
| 226 | -->'''Critic:''' Honestly, if you wanted to give us any assurance, you'd flash this. |
| 227 | --> We got ''Film/{{Deadpool|2016}}'' right! [[Film/XMenOriginsWolverine Eventually.]] |
| 228 | * When the Critic is surprised by the presence of Creator/DanCastellaneta as Reed and Ben's teacher, he follows up the teacher scolding Richards with this... |
| 229 | -->'''[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Homer Simpson]]:''' Why can't you be a nuclear safety engineer? Or an [[Recap/TheSimpsonsS5E15DeepSpaceHomer astronaut]]? Or [[Recap/TheSimpsonsS12E2ATaleOfTwoSpringfields mayor]]? Or [[Recap/TheSimpsonsS3E20ColonelHomer country singer manager]]? I could keep going. I've had over 188 jobs. You think ''your'' franchise is running on fumes? Phew! |
| 230 | ** The following [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Simpsons]] clips used during the episode are hilarious too. |
| 231 | * After young Reed's teleporter experiment in the garage fails: |
| 232 | -->'''Critic as Reed:''' Holy smokes, I made weed! We're gonna be the Fantastic 420! |
| 233 | * Sue tells Johnny (in the film's pervasive DullSurprise tone) that she's glad to be working with him, but the film does such a poor job of relationship-building between the main characters that the Critic has to ask: |
| 234 | -->'''Critic:''' Is the movie's idea of chemistry ''[[LiteralMinded literally building chemistry]]''? |
| 235 | * During the review, the Critic stops himself, ''mid-sentence'', to complain about the lighting issues: |
| 236 | -->'''Critic:''' Ah yes, let's screw up a history making experiment for your egos. I'm sure this will in no way--you know what, hold on a second--'''''[[SuddenlyShouting TURN ON A LIGHT!!!]]''''' ... Sorry, I had to get it out just once. |
| 237 | * When Reed and Ben first meet each other again: |
| 238 | -->'''Reed!Critic''': Hey, [[NonhumansLackAttributes where's your thing]]? Hey, I just thought of a good name for you...! ''(Ben throws a punch at Critic, who barely dodges it)'' |
| 239 | -->'''Critic:''' Okay, ''finally'' we're gonna get some action-- ''([[AntiClimax Ben headbutts Reed, knocking him out instantly]])'' --well, that was short. |
| 240 | * After Ben knocks Reed out, Critic, once again, gets annoyed by ''another'' talking scene in a dark room. |
| 241 | -->'''Critic''': Oh, waitwaitwaitwait. Out of the "magnitude" of variety we've had in this film so far, let me take a guess, a ''wild'' goddamn guess of what's coming ''(Cue to "Dark Room Talking" with Reed and Ben)'' OH MY GOD! Why is this "Fantastic"?! Your goddamn movie is called "Fantastic Four" and you can't even get one fantastic thing in it! Why is talking in a goddamn dark room fantastic?! Did you have an upbringing like the boy from ''Literature/{{Room}}''?! Is this literally all you know?! Was the outside only explained to you in pictures and stories? If so, could you tell one of those stories, 'cause it's GODDAMN MORE INTERESTING THAN THIS HORSESHIT!!! (cut to a scene set outside) AHH! A outside scene! ''Take it awaaay!'' (cut to yet another dark room talking scene) ''Ah-hahahaha! [[SarcasmMode That’s better!]]'' |
| 242 | * The Critic's rant about Doom's appearance in this movie... |
| 243 | -->'''Critic:''' Okay, I know it's a comic book adaptation, there have to be some changes, but... What is with [[ExecutiveMeddling Fox's obsession]] of [[TheyWastedAPerfectlyGoodCharacter turning Marvel characters]] into Music/{{Slipknot}} [[Film/XMenOriginsWolverine crash test dummies]]? Is this the one design they think exists? It's getting a little old! Hell, it was never that interesting to begin with! This movie really is the master of throwing [[ClicheStorm boring, uninteresting things]] at you in a movie that's called [[NeverTrustATitle Fantastic]]! Christ, [[TemptingFate what do you think their design for the climax is]], that friggin' [[PillarOfLight "portal in the sky" cliche]]? ''([[AnswerCut Said cliche actually happens]])'' |
| 244 | * When the Critic falls and cannot continue the review, he and Rob re-enact a scene from ''Film/TheLordOfTheRings'', complete with Rob wearing a Samwise Gamgee wig. At the end of the speech, Rob tries to lift the Critic off the floor but finds he's not strong enough. |
| 245 | ** Also, if you watch the last couple of seconds of that scene out of context, it looks ''and'' sounds like Critic and Rob are having the biggest orgasms of their lives. |
| 246 | * During the scene where the portal is pulling everything into it, the "Suck! Suck! SUCK!" from ''Film/{{Spaceballs}}'' is inserted into it. |
| 247 | * This: |
| 248 | -->'''Critic''': So our hero- ''(starts laughing)'' Sorry, it's only two syllables and I still couldn't say it. Our "[[DesignatedHero these guys]]" try to stop him from sucking the world into his dimensional bullshit. |
| 249 | * This bit: |
| 250 | -->'''Reed''': Victor, don't do this! |
| 251 | -->'''Doctor Doom''': [[ThatManIsDead There is no Victor. There is only Doom.]] |
| 252 | -->'''Critic''': ''(holds the [[Film/Ghostbusters1984 "There is no Dana, only Zuul!"]] scene, before discarding it)'' I'm not wasting that clip on you. |
| 253 | * When the review is over, Rob and the two remaining members of the AIT sulk about what they're going to do next. They hear a ''Psst!'' from the next room, seeing [[Film/SpiderManHomecoming Iron Man and Spider-Man]] [[Franchise/MarvelCinematicUniverse offering them to come with them]]. When they try to leave, [[Film/TheDarkKnightTrilogy Lucius]] [[MeaningfulName Fox]] stops them from doing so. |
| 254 | -->'''Tamara''': Aw, Fox. [[RuleOfSymbolism Why won't you let us play with]] the Avengers and Spider-Man?\ |
| 255 | '''Fox''': Oh, don't worry. [[BlatantLies We still have plans for you]].\ |
| 256 | '''Tamara''': You don't, do you?\ |
| 257 | '''Fox''': [[BrutalHonesty Not a thing]]. ''(turns to camera)'' And ''[[NoFourthWall you]]'' get to suffer for it. (turns back to group) Now, continue [[InNameOnly being anything but what you really are]].\ |
| 258 | '''Adequately Impressive Three''': ''(deadpan)'' Flame On.\ |
| 259 | '''Fox''': I think you mean, ''[[DarkerAndEdgier lights out]].'' |
| 260 | [[/folder]] |
| 261 | |
| 262 | [[folder:Clockstoppers]] |
| 263 | * The Critic expresses some annoyance at having to be openly critical of this movie, after receiving so many requests to review it... |
| 264 | -->'''Critic:''' It's like asking me to get angry at Creator/WallaceShawn!\ |
| 265 | ''(in the corner, a shot of Shawn as [[Film/ThePrincessBride Vizzini]] appears in the corner)''\ |
| 266 | '''Critic:''' I guess I could, but why? ''(beat)'' [[CatchPhrase It's inconceivable.]] |
| 267 | * The "90's Trying to Die" counter. |
| 268 | * The Critic's reaction to when the movie makes a lame ''Franchise/StarTrek'' pun. |
| 269 | -->'''Critic:''' There's only so far [[Creator/JonathanFrakes your]] ''[[Film/StarTrekFirstContact First Contact]]'' cred can go, [[WesternAnimation/{{Gargoyles}} Xanatos]]. |
| 270 | * "Does Meeker think he's possessed?" |
| 271 | -->'''Critic as Meeker:''' The devil is in me! I am the beginning of his evil reign! |
| 272 | * Critic rants on the pop punk music of the late 90's and early 2000's, specifically Music/Blink182. He says that the bands that we once thought cool just really sound like whiny teenagers being told to clean their room. |
| 273 | -->'''Critic (imitating Tom [=DeLonge=]):''' Come on, Mooooom! You're so laaaaame! |
| 274 | * Upon seeing a flock of [[DisturbedDoves doves]] frozen in time... |
| 275 | -->'''Critic:''' Oh no, we got put in a Creator/JohnWoo movie! ''[the [[CallBack flaming doves]] pass by]'' |
| 276 | [[/folder]] |
| 277 | |
| 278 | [[folder: The WEIRDEST Jack and the Beanstalk]] |
| 279 | * The Critic begins by talking about how strange stuff from childhood seemed normal. For example, [[WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles1987 Ninja Turtles]] were average, [[Film/MaryPoppins tea parties on the ceiling]] were mundane, and "[[BreadEggsMilkSquick being forced to dance in a banana suit dripping goat's blood]] [[ButForMeItWasTuesday was just Tuesday]]". |
| 280 | -->'''Critic:''' [[NoodleIncident Oh, only my parents did that?]] ''(eyes shift left and right)'' [[NoodleIncident I... should've asked more questions.]] |
| 281 | * About the man who trades the beans for Jack's cow, he is first seen playing what the Critic can only describe as "a '70s machine" (whose notes sound like... er, odd squelching noises). |
| 282 | -->'''Critic:''' Either that, or the sound VideoGame/PacMan makes when he's jerking one off. |
| 283 | ** At this, Jack laughs, then the man with this machine laughs several times, culminating in a particularly psychotic cackle when he takes off his hood to show his face, one of whose eyes is covered in an eye patch, to Jack. |
| 284 | --->'''Critic:''' ''(holding up a cell phone)'' Thus [[Series/{{Dateline}} Chris Hansen]]'s number was put on speed dial! |
| 285 | ** Then the cow lets out a confused "Moo?" at the eye-patched man's strange squat dance. |
| 286 | --->'''Critic:''' You said it, cow. |
| 287 | ** And when Jack meets the Princess, who has a severe case of DissonantSerenity, we get this line. |
| 288 | --->'''Critic:''' Jack, you have the ''worst'' [[TooSmartForStrangers stranger danger]]. |
| 289 | * After Jack's mother spanks him with the broom for changing the cow for some beans |
| 290 | --->'''Mother''': Oh, I worked up an appetite. |
| 291 | --->'''Critic''': (In falsetto voice) Child abuse gives me the rumblies! |
| 292 | --->'''Jack''': Yeah, me too. |
| 293 | --->'''Critic''': ({{Beat}}, then falsetto again) That's just confusing. |
| 294 | * When the mouse princess appears to Jack and his dog at the bottom of the beanstalk to explain her plight in detail, being a mouse, she can only explain in squeaks, which, as the Critic points out, are not subtitled. |
| 295 | -->'''Critic:''' [[SarcasmMode I haven't been so happy to not have subtitles since the]] ''[[Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial Star Wars]]'' ''[[Recap/TheNostalgiaCriticS2E51 Holiday Special]]''.\ |
| 296 | ''(Cut to a clip of said special: a Wookie roaring)''\ |
| 297 | '''Critic:''' ''(sternly)'' [[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain We agreed never to play that again!]] |
| 298 | * [[NightmareFuel The terrifying imagery during Madame Hecuba's introduction]] leads to this comment from the Critic: |
| 299 | -->'''Critic:''' Well, the message of this movie is very straightforward: '''''fear'''''. |
| 300 | * The Critic's zinger at the [[EvenTheDogIsAshamed dog]] [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext singing]] right after [[WhatTheHellHero Jack stole money from the castle and left the princess to her fate]]. |
| 301 | -->'''Critic:''' This looks like a song for the dog! |
| 302 | ** Even stranger still, Jack reacts to this bizarre incident (just for the record, [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment the dog has never spoken before until now and never speaks again afterward]]) as [[BatDeduction a miraculous sign]] that he shouldn't have left the princess and stolen her money, leading to another killer Critic side comment. |
| 303 | --->'''Critic:''' ''(shrugging)'' Sometimes it just takes a singing dog. |
| 304 | * The Critic is completely floored by the "Are You Happy" number, when the Princess is supposed to marry [[HotSkittyOnWailordAction the giant]]. He can barely process the surreal horrors within. |
| 305 | -->'''Critic:''' ... More sugar-frosted nightmares, please! |
| 306 | ** Even stranger, this is right after it's established that Jack needs to kiss the Princess to break her spell. We don't know how much older she is, but the potential {{squick}}iness is immediately extinguished by the number. |
| 307 | --->'''Critic:''' [The age difference is] not even a spark in your mind! All you're thinking is, "Are you happy?! Are you hahh-pyiee?!" ''No!'' I'm very confused and rather afraid! ''What is this?!'' |
| 308 | * Critic's exasperation only grows after Madame Hecuba is [[RoboticReveal revealed to be a robot the whole time]]. |
| 309 | * The Critic expressing incredulity at [[SoundtrackDissonance the reprise of the Princess' song ("No One's Happier Than I") playing in the background as Jack cuts down the beanstalk, killing the giant]]. |
| 310 | -->'''Critic:''' ''(laughs)'' Manslaughter is beautiful! |
| 311 | * The Critic thinking that the film's insanity is such that he would recommend viewers to watch it is also hilarious. |
| 312 | -->'''Critic:''' If you're curious to join in on the madness like me, you can find it on DVD... ''(sees that [[CrackIsCheaper it costs $299.99]] on the web)'' [[BigOMG Oh my god]]. ''({{beat}})'' Find it on [=YouTube=]! |
| 313 | * "[[SubvertedCatchPhrase I'm the Nostalgia Critic and]] ''[[BrickJoke are you happy?!?]]''" |
| 314 | [[/folder]] |
| 315 | |
| 316 | [[folder: The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas]] |
| 317 | * Every single joke revolving around the homo-erotic undertones between [[HeterosexualLifePartners Fred and Barney]] (and occasionally other characters), eventually resorting to simply using the classic line from the show's theme song. |
| 318 | -->'''[[HaveAGayOldTime We'll have a gay old time!]]''' |
| 319 | * Noting that the "Univershell" logo from the first film is reused, but that the ''real'' company name's website is listed underneath the Univershell logo. |
| 320 | --> '''Critic''': You're ruining the illusion, ''Viva Rock Vegas!'' |
| 321 | * The Critic's freaked out reaction to the effects used for the Great Gazoo, comparing it to the other time Creator/AlanCumming played a [[Film/SonOfTheMask green-faced character that evokes disturbing imagery]]. It's basically a running gag, as he screams every time the Great Gazoo suddenly teleports into the scene. |
| 322 | ** But on one of the few occasions he isn't scared by "the night terrors [[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes Marvin the Martian]] has when he falls to sleep on ecstasy," he does get a few shots at him in. |
| 323 | ---> '''The Great Gazoo:''' I am of a highly evolved alien species. |
| 324 | ---> '''Critic as Fred:''' [[CousinOliver You look more like a creation]] [[SeasonalRot of a TV show ratings]] [[TakeThat slump!]] |
| 325 | * Right before Gazoo meets Fred and Barney: |
| 326 | -->'''Fred:''' [[TemptingFate I mean, it's not like something's just gonna drop out of the sky, land in front of you and change your whole life!]] |
| 327 | -->''(Gazoo's ship falls from the sky)'' |
| 328 | -->'''Critic as Fred:''' [[LampshadeHanging Oh my God! That thing I just said wouldn't happen just happened!]] |
| 329 | * This bit: |
| 330 | -->'''Fred:''' ''(to Gazoo)'' What are ''you?'' |
| 331 | -->'''Critic as Gazoo:''' I am your ''death!'' |
| 332 | * The simple appearance of a prehistoric ''camcorder'' is enough to make the NC lose his shit. |
| 333 | * Dino [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything hatching]]. |
| 334 | --> I swear ''[[SomethingElseAlsoRises this]]'' never happens! |
| 335 | * The Critic pointing out Fred and Barney's appearance in a 1967 promotional film for Anheuser-Busch as a successor to the infamous Winston cigarette ads. |
| 336 | -->'''Critic:''' So everybody is, of course, off to Rock Vegas. Say, I wonder what prehistoric law on prostitution is here? |
| 337 | -->'''Fred:''' Ooh, there's a lot of Busch/bush gonna be sold! |
| 338 | -->'''Critic:''' Hey, hey! He said it, not me! He's a hard drinker and a hard smoker. Isn't this kinda like the next logical step? |
| 339 | * Noting all the characters' "kill faces". |
| 340 | ** Bonus points for the one featuring Fred's eyes turning into slot wheels. He compares it to [[Film/WhoFramedRogerRabbit Judge Doom's]] and plays the audio from that movie's big reveal over it to demonstrate. |
| 341 | -->'''Critic:''' Ignore the G rating, this is a PG when PG actually meant something! |
| 342 | * As the Critic positively comments that he doesn't know where the plot is going, Chip Rockefeller announces his cliche intention to break Fred and Wilma up. |
| 343 | -->'''Critic:''' Ah, there's our bullshit. |
| 344 | * "I'm leeeakiing!" |
| 345 | * After Fred says "I [[{{Catchphrase}} Yabba-dabba-do]]." at the wedding. |
| 346 | -->'''Critic as Fred:''' I'm saying that line under protest. |
| 347 | [[/folder]] |
| 348 | |
| 349 | [[folder: Suicide Squad]] |
| 350 | * Jim really getting into the role of playing Jared Leto playing the Joker, complete with "pranks" like mailing the Nostalgia Critic anal beads and his dead pet mouse, [[WesternAnimation/TheSecretOfNIMH Mrs. Brisby]]. |
| 351 | * The hypothetical scenario of how Amanda Waller proposing the Suicide Squad to the government ''should have'' played out. |
| 352 | -->'''Waller:''' Who do we call when the next Superman comes to take us out?\ |
| 353 | '''Doug as Dexter Tolliver:''' [[RhetoricalQuestionBlunder Wonder Woman.]]\ |
| 354 | '''Waller:''' No.\ |
| 355 | '''Tamara as Admiral Olsen:''' The Flash.\ |
| 356 | '''Waller:''' No.\ |
| 357 | '''Doug as Dexter:''' Aquaman.\ |
| 358 | '''Waller:''' ''No.''\ |
| 359 | '''Tamara as Olsen:''' Cyborg.\ |
| 360 | '''Waller:''' No.\ |
| 361 | '''Doug as Dexter:''' [[OverlyLongGag Batman.]]\ |
| 362 | '''Waller:''' No.\ |
| 363 | '''Tamara as Olsen:''' [[WesternAnimation/TheLegoBatmanMovie Lego-Batman.]]\ |
| 364 | '''Waller:''' How about the villains those heroes fought?\ |
| 365 | '''Doug as Dexter:''' (he closes the folder) [[NoJustNoReaction Nope.]]\ |
| 366 | '''THE END''' |
| 367 | * [[ActingForTwo Malcolm playing both Deadshot and Deadshot's daughter.]] |
| 368 | * Critic reprising his role as Batman from the [=BvS=] review. |
| 369 | ** First, confronting Deadshot. |
| 370 | --->'''Critic as Batman:''' It's over, Film/Deadpool2016!\ |
| 371 | '''Malcolm as Deadshot:''' Deadshot!\ |
| 372 | '''Critic as Batman:''' Oh, well this movie got a whole lot less cool. |
| 373 | ** As an added TakeThat to the more violent portrayal of Batman from these films, when Deadshot aims his gun, Batman gleefully aims one back to one-up him. |
| 374 | * Who's playing Killer Croc in the recreation? Dino Rob! |
| 375 | -->'''Dino Rob:''' [[CatchPhrase I'm a dinosaur.]] |
| 376 | * Orlando as Slipknot getting quite pissed off when he realizes that since he didn't get any bright credits or backstory that means he's only in the movie to die. NC dismantles the head explosion chip out of "white guilt," but then Jim as Leto blows up his head anyway, when it turns out he has a similar remote. |
| 377 | * Critic as Rick Flag's TheReasonYouSuckSpeech to Amanda Waller, in which he goes insane pointing out how big of a failure the Squad was (in which one can't tell if he's talking about the Squad in-universe or the film) before breaking down into her shoulder. |
| 378 | -->'''Amanda:''' Come on, let's hope ''Film/{{Wonder Woman|2017}}'' will be better. |
| 379 | * Critic and the Suicide Squad's inability to take the Enchantress seriously because of her dancing while threatening them. They even compare her to a dancing Hula doll, which is strangely accurate considering the movements themselves. |
| 380 | * The revelation that White Chart Guy is the reason that there are so many giant sky beams to the point of cliche in films. Because he has a fetish for it. Indeed he does, to the point of carrying around a picture of various portal-in-the-sky examples from several movies, to... well... Funnier still is a later point in the review where the chart guys show up, [[{{Squick}} the paper sticks to his hand.]] [[EvenEvilHasStandards Even Black Chart Guy looks disturbed at this.]] |
| 381 | * How does the Critic think the ending could've been improved in a way that it could get a bigger reaction? Instead of Joker breaking Harley out, it's BILL! Amusingly enough, in the audience showing of the episode, Bill's cameo did indeed garner a great reaction from the crowd. |
| 382 | [[/folder]] |
| 383 | |
| 384 | [[folder: Alien vs. Predator]] |
| 385 | * The Critic comments on how it makes a lot of sense for Predators to resort to using Facehuggers to impregnate humans and then hunt the aliens, because the human characters themselves definitely aren't a lot of fun to kill due to how stupid and incompetent they are. Cue him imagining their frustration: |
| 386 | -->'''Critic as Predator 1''' (after witnessing one of the human characters begin to freeze to death in a helpless state): Christ, we went from [[Film/{{Predator}} Schwarzenegger]] to ''this''?! Take his skull, Frank!\ |
| 387 | '''Critic as Predator 2''': But I don't want to take his skull! ''You'' take his skull!\ |
| 388 | '''Critic as Predator 1''': (as they begin walking away) Fine! Neither of us will take his skull! We'll just let Time kill him and piss on his corpse.\ |
| 389 | (Suddenly, a third predator shows up, raising its claw in front of the helpless victim)\ |
| 390 | '''Critic as Predator 3''': Hi. I'm [[StealthPun Time]].\ |
| 391 | (the human screams before getting slashed by "Time" -- then the noise of something unzipping occurs offscreen)\ |
| 392 | '''Critic as Predator 2''': Mine's bigger.\ |
| 393 | '''Critic as Predator 1''': Shut up, Frank. |
| 394 | * The RunningGag of the Jock trio giving each other high-fives, but always leaving Jock Critic hanging. The increasing desperation in his face is humorous and sad at the same time. |
| 395 | [[/folder]] |
| 396 | |
| 397 | [[folder: Wonder Woman]] |
| 398 | * The brief gag about the NC admitting being excited for ''WesternAnimation/TheEmojiMovie''.[[note]]He didn't like it.[[/note]] |
| 399 | -->'''Critic:''' Damn you, Lasso of Truth! |
| 400 | * Batman and Superman show up to complain about the bright colors of Themyscira. Hippolyta responds by summoning archers to drive them off. They show up again to complain about the lack of pretentious speeches in the campfire scene, and Diana once again summons archers to drive them away. |
| 401 | -->'''Critic as Batman:''' Piss off, [[WesternAnimation/SheRaPrincessOfPower She-Ra!]] |
| 402 | ** Bonus: In the campfire scene, when Batman and Superman ran off, they did so acting like the Three Stooges. |
| 403 | --->'''Critic as Batman''': Nyuck Nyuck! |
| 404 | * Malcolm and Tamara lampshade the necessity of casting him as Steve Trevor: |
| 405 | --> '''Malcolm as Steve:''' Look, there's not a lot of Black people in this movie. If we played it for real, the only role I would have is the [[TokenMinority Black Amazon]]! ''(Wonder Woman looks to the side to see Malcolm in a wig and armor standing with her Mother and Aunt)'' |
| 406 | * When Diana needs reassuring after learning that nobody in the movie ever calls her "Wonder Woman", fearing ending up like ''[[Film/FantasticFour2015 Fan4stic]]''. |
| 407 | * When the German landing party pursuing Steve Trevor in Themyscira mortally wound General Antiope, Diana laments that if there was only a way for her to defend Antiope, while at same time showing off her bullet-deflecting bracelets. This makes Antiope get up and say "Seriously?!" before being shot again in the head. |
| 408 | * After Antiope is killed, her actress appears again playing an Amazon (a different one), with the only difference between the two [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus being a sign]] reading "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8I3zCQzZx68 Different Person]]." |
| 409 | * Ares suggests Dr. Poison to create "a body-crushing gas for peaceful purposes": |
| 410 | -->'''Dr. Poison:''' I'm going to create Music/{{Nickelback}}! |
| 411 | -->'''Ares:''' [[EvenEvilHasStandards Don't do that! Even I am not that evil!]] |
| 412 | * Tamara actually [[BreakingTheFourthWall breaks the fourth wall]] when it's revealed that the scrawny Sir Patrick Morgan is actually Ares in disguise, believing that it's a joke for the review, [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer and Critic has to tell her that it's not]]. |
| 413 | * Wonder Woman, after meeting Ares, tells him that she's going to destroy him with her 'disintegrating sword'... [[WesternAnimation/DuckDodgersInTheTwentyFourthAndAHalfCentury "And brother, when it disintegrates, it disintegrates!"]], she goes for a stab... only for Ares to hold out his hand and the sword disintegrates to pieces. |
| 414 | --> '''Wonder Woman:''' [[WesternAnimation/DuckDodgersInTheTwentyFourthAndAHalfCentury Well, what do you know? It disintegrated.]] |
| 415 | * After expressing his disappointment with Ares having the appereance of a scrawny, stuffy British man, Critic gets pumped up when Ares reveals his One-Winged Angel form, only to get disappointed again when he does indeed become a big, honking monster... but still having the face of his scrawny, stuffy British man appearance. |
| 416 | * Ares decides to kill Wonder Woman with every DC villain's ultimate weapon... [[MotiveRant OVERWRITTEN DIALOGUES]]! |
| 417 | ** And then Batman and Superman [[BrickJoke once again show up]] to compliment Ares on his pretentious speech. Then ''Ares'' [[EveryoneHasStandards summons the archers to drive them away]]. |
| 418 | ** His MotiveRant is literally him reading aloud from a philosophy textbook. All while Diana writhes in pain from hearing it. |
| 419 | * Steve Trevor wryly notes that at least his death was better than Superman's right before he sacrifices himself. |
| 420 | * Ares']] snide remark about Steve Trevor's death? That it was a quicker death than the [[Series/WonderWoman2011Pilot 2011 Wonder Woman TV series]]. |
| 421 | * After a long final speech about how the film brings out the best of the DC Universe, Critic gives Wonder Woman a cake as a metaphor for "having your cake and eating it too". And then the music cuts off as Wonder Woman reveals she has diabetes, making the entire thing very awkward. |
| 422 | ** Critic decides to casually eat the "hand cake", (as the cake was given to him by an offscreen hand) while Wonder Woman plays the electric guitar to end the episode. |
| 423 | ---> '''Critic:''' You may be awesome, but you're not "eating hand cake next to Wonder Woman playing electric guitar" awesome. |
| 424 | ** What's also funny about this is that it seems to be inspired by how in the actual movie, Wonder Woman has ice cream and likes it. |
| 425 | [[/folder]] |
| 426 | |
| 427 | [[folder: Norm of the North]] |
| 428 | * [[ItMakesSenseInContext Tamara envying people]] who work [[IJustWantToBeNormal uneventful, boring, mundane nine to five jobs.]] |
| 429 | * Several of the jokes towards the Critic's decision to shave off his hair after reaching enlightenment, including Tamara confusing the Critic with the Cinema Snob as a Buddhist, and Malcolm's bafflement at the Critic having hair. |
| 430 | ** Later on, when he realizes that this movie isn't as bad as some the others he's reviewed, and that he hasn't actually achieved enlightenment, it's ''then'' that he realizes he shaved his head. |
| 431 | ** At that point, Malcolm once again questions if the Critic really has hair. Cut to Malcolm and Tamara running out of the building while the Critic lunges at them with a katana. |
| 432 | * After NC talks about how Norm's lemming friends are just 'introduced' with no rhyme or reason, he asks Bill for an opinion... but it turns out he vanishes. From there, Critic goes into an homage of a WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes cartoon called 'The Aristo-Cat', right down to the weird backgrounds from that same cartoon when he worryingly calls for Bill. Turns out, Bill was just busy as the temporary king of Iceland, and everything's fine, followed by "The Bill Dance". |
| 433 | * At one point of the review, the Critic mentions how spontaneous the dancing can sometimes be, comparing it to if he started dancing, followed by an odd pause... and then right to the next scene. |
| 434 | ** It seems to come together later on in the review; when Critic starts to panic that the film is like a Groundhog Day-style loop, [[BrickJoke it suddenly cuts to him dancing.]] |
| 435 | * "How does he have this magical power?... [[NewPowersAsThePlotDemands MOVIE!]]" |
| 436 | * The entire bit with the Talent-Replacer 9000. |
| 437 | -->'''Critic:''' You know, I make fun of this movie, but in all honesty, it is very impressive to see the first fully computer-animated motion picture. Oh, I don't mean animated ''with'' computers, I mean animated ''by'' computers, because only a machine would combine all these cliches and think it somehow equals cinematic emotion. And I actually have that computer right here, the Talent Replacer 9000! Say hello, 9000.\ |
| 438 | '''TR-9000:''' ''[voiced by a monotone Tamara]'' [[LiteralMinded Hello, 9000.]]\ |
| 439 | '''Critic:''' Oh, that sounds like humour! It's years old and not very funny, but nevertheless you've picked up on it, and that's very impressive.\ |
| 440 | '''TR-9000:''' Of course. It is how I make what you humans have called "give-up" films.\ |
| 441 | '''Critic:''' Now tell me, 9000, how did you come up with these ideas?\ |
| 442 | '''TR-9000:''' I do not come up with anything. I calculate what is used in every movie and put it in my movie. Where most films choose to focus on one or two of these cliches to make an emotional connection, I say "suck it" and replace the emotion with [[ClicheStorm more cliches]]. The misunderstood hero. [[ParentalNeglect The busy parent]]. The budding friendship. [[SpontaneousChoreography Dance sequences]]. [[CorruptCorporateExecutive Corporate villains]]. [[ToiletHumour Fart jokes. Pee jokes.]] The list is never-ending.\ |
| 443 | '''Critic:''' And that's what you did with ''Norm of the North''?\ |
| 444 | '''TR-9000:''' No. For Rob Schneider movies, I use a different formula.\ |
| 445 | '''Critic:''' Oh yeah? And what's that?\ |
| 446 | '''TR-9000:''' Rob Schneider [[BlahBlahBlah derp dee derp. Derp dee derp dee derp dee derp.]] Until one day, the derpa derpa derpa derp. Creator/RobSchneider [[ActorIsTheTitleCharacter is]] ''[[WesternAnimation/SouthPark Da Derp Dee Derp Da Teetley Derp Dee Derp Dee Dumb]]''. Rated PG-13.\ |
| 447 | '''Critic:''' Ah, Dove Foundation approved!\ |
| 448 | '''TR-9000:''' Oh. I mean PG. |
| 449 | * His theory on the movie's conception: |
| 450 | -->'''Norm:''' Two peas in a pod!\ |
| 451 | '''Olympia:''' Besties. ''[hugs Norm]''\ |
| 452 | '''Critic:''' ''[visibly irritated]'' Yes. You had ''one scene'' together and now you're ''immediately'' besties. I think this entire film is the result of some idiot looking through the garbage, finding the shredded first drafts of successful films, taping them back together, typing it up on a computer, setting the computer on fire, inhaling the fumes, ''death'', and this was the mocking eulogy some asshole gave at his funeral! And that... is the BEST-case scenario! |
| 453 | ** Made even funnier when the aforementioned pictures show Critic as said idiot. |
| 454 | [[/folder]] |
| 455 | |
| 456 | [[folder: Cats Don't Dance]] |
| 457 | * The review begins with the title sequence appearing to have buffered, which turns out to be an ad for battleforthenet.com. |
| 458 | * While The Critic is normally against animal cruelty, after seeing the slapstick violence that Sawyer suffers, he says that [[WesternAnimation/TomAndJerry Tom]] and Sawyer should get together for a slapstick routine and says he has the perfect name for them. WesternAnimation/{{Archer}} then appears and asks "Tom Sawyer?" to which the Critic says "[[BaitAndSwitch That's actually better!]]" |
| 459 | * The Critic compares Darla Dimple to if the Olsen twins were evil, or Jonathan Lipnicki, or... ''[[[CallBack cue demonic Mara Wilson clip]]]'' |
| 460 | -->'''Critic:''' ''(terrified)'' Nope! That one's for real! |
| 461 | * The Critic describing the giant Darla balloon that Danny and Max fight each other atop as "One of the strangest settings for a climax since Creator/DavidHasselhoff", and he shows an image of [=SpongeBob=] and Patrick riding atop Hasselhoff from ''WesternAnimation/TheSpongebobSquarepantsMovie''. |
| 462 | [[/folder]] |
| 463 | |
| 464 | [[folder: Hulk]] |
| 465 | * The intro is a parody of the intro of ''Series/TheIncredibleHulk1977'' series, with Critic and how upset he is with this movie instead of Banner and his condition. |
| 466 | ** During said intro, when Malcolm and Tamara are talking about the movie, and Critic warns him they wouldn't like him when they show him the movie... and then he explodes without warning... only for literally nothing to happen. |
| 467 | ---> '''Critic:''' I exploded. |
| 468 | * The Critic shouting "THE HULK!" with ever increasing disappointment every time something dull happens. At one point, his arms limply flailing it's all that it's seen of him, as he's so disappointed that he can't get up. |
| 469 | * "[[ItMakesSenseInContext Man, it's a good thing nobody takes a shit in this movie...]]" |
| 470 | * The scene where Betty Ross describes the recurring nightmare she has about Bruce is [[NightmareFuel decidedly]] ''[[NightmareFuel not]]'' [[NightmareFuel funny]]. [[MoodWhiplash Then it cuts to The Critic's reaction:]] |
| 471 | --> '''Critic:''' ''([[StunnedSilence horrified silence]], then regains his compsure)'' Ok, um, anyone that's new to the dating scene, I don't know what Creator/AngLee is trying to tell you but if your date says she has a reocurring dream about you as their father trying to kill them as a small child- [[ScrewThisImOutOfHere Out. Just get out. Don't even make up an excuse, flee!]] |
| 472 | * The Critic's disappointment of Jennifer Connelly's DullSurprise. At one point, it annoys him so greatly that he views her stilted acting in ''Film/{{Labyrinth}}'' favorably by comparison. |
| 473 | ** His reaction to Jennifer Connelly's ''non''-reaction to meeting the Hulk easily takes the cake though: |
| 474 | --> '''Doug:''' ''(in the role of the director)'' Cut! Ok Connelly, let's try something a little different here, um, [[SuddenlyShouting ACT]]! God above, I would've gone through at least the majority of the TheThreeStooges reactions at this point! ''(procceds to do so, ending with)'' A taruntaula! |
| 475 | * The [[RunningGag "Zuul, Motherfucker, Zuul!" voice]] [[{{Corpsing}} breaking into laughter]] at the sight of the Gamma Dogs. |
| 476 | -->'''Zuul''': ZUUL, MOTHERFU— ''[stops short]'' Oh, my God. Are you serious?a Th-that's not the final thing, is it? I- Oh, sorry. (clears throat) ZUUL, MOTHERFU- ''breaks down laughing'' What is this?! Guys! Guys, come on! No! |
| 477 | * The Critic's reaction to the Hulk's fight with the Gamma Dogs: |
| 478 | -->'''Critic:''' Yep, this is the first action sequence in the movie. One hour in and he's fighting mutant WesternAnimation/{{Pound Puppies|1980s}}. Isn't this always what you wanted? When you saw the Incredible Hulk on [[Series/TheIncredibleHulk1977 TV]], and cartoons and in [[ComicBook/TheIncredibleHulk the comics]], weren't you always wishing for the big screen adaptation where he fought the zombie cast of ''WesternAnimation/LadyAndTheTramp''? [...] So the Hulk defeats the mutant poodle... [[ARareSentence something that I didn't think I'd say while watching this...]] |
| 479 | ** This also prompts him to wonder what Creator/StanLee would have had to say about the dailies... |
| 480 | -->'''Critic as Stan Lee:''' Ang, I know you directed ''Film/CrouchingTigerHiddenDragon''; uh, is there any chance you can actually put ''in'' a crouching tiger or a hidden dragon? I'm just saying, I created ''WesternAnimation/{{Stripperella}}'', and [[EveryoneHasStandards even I'm finding this pretty dumb]]. |
| 481 | * Critic becomes so bored he mistakes a car passing by in the background for an action scene. |
| 482 | * The shot of Talbot being sent flying over a fireball gives the Critic an idea for a ''Series/CharliesAngels'' spin-off titled "Guy Flying Over Fireball Looking Like A Twat" with Talbot's face photoshopped over Angels' faces. |
| 483 | * The [[VideoGame/SuperMarioBros1 Super Mario Bros. overworld music and sound effects]] used when Hulk jumps. |
| 484 | * Critic grows so annoyed with each [[IdiosyncraticWipes comic book-like transition]] the movie does that he adds cartoon sound effects to them. |
| 485 | * The dialogue Critic dubs over the scene of the Hulk being chased by helicopters: |
| 486 | -->'''Critic as Helicopter Pilot:''' [[TakeThat Come back or we won't give you]] [[DesignatedLoveInterest a pointless]] [[StrangledByTheRedString romance]] [[Film/AvengersAgeOfUltron with Black Widow!]] Okay, fine! You get [[HoYay a subtext romance]] [[Film/ThorRagnarok with Thor!]] |
| 487 | * When a helicopter fires at a mountain, it cuts to a clip of [[WesternAnimation/WileECoyoteAndTheRoadrunner Wile E. Coyote being crushed by falling rocks]]. |
| 488 | * The [[CallBack return of]] Film/TheBigLebowski jar. |
| 489 | * During yet another boring conversation between Bruce and Betty, the Critic dubs over nearby soldiers featured in that scene. |
| 490 | -->'''Critic as Soldier 1:''' Oh, my God! Make him angry! |
| 491 | -->'''Critic as Soldier 2:''' Tell him [[BoxOfficeBomb the movie's gonna bomb]]! |
| 492 | -->'''Critic as Soldier 3:''' Tell him [[Creator/EricBana he's]] [[TheOtherDarrin gonna be replaced by]] [[Creator/EdwardNorton two]] [[Creator/MarkRuffalo actors]]! TWO! |
| 493 | * Critic making fun of Glenn's [[DullSurprise reaction]] and the crappy effects of Bruce's transformation scene. |
| 494 | -->'''Critic as Glenn:''' Mr. Giant, I swear I ate all my vegetables ''[gets thrown through the house]'' AHH! |
| 495 | * His reaction to Creator/NickNolte literally ChewingTheScenery. |
| 496 | * As a BrickJoke, the ending turns out to also be a parody of the EveryEpisodeEnding of ''The Incredible Hulk'' series, just like the intro. |
| 497 | [[/folder]] |
| 498 | |
| 499 | [[folder: Tom and Jerry: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory]] |
| 500 | * The opening scene, which makes it very clear that the Critic is in for a rough time: |
| 501 | -->'''Critic:''' [[CatchPhrase Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic; I remember it so you don't have to!]] (''beat'') ...[[ThisIsGonnaSuck so it's come to this.]] |
| 502 | * In the opening, the Critic states that he likes WesternAnimation/TomAndJerry and ''Film/WillyWonkaAndTheChocolateFactory'', but "similar to welcomely-divorced parents, just because I like them individually, does not mean they shouldn't stay miles away from each other." He's genuinely put-off by the fact that it's a ShotForShotRemake, and then we get the bit where the girl gets smacked in the chin by the Candy Man's counter - which is [[ShownTheirWork faithfully recreated here]]. |
| 503 | -->'''Critic''': Wait, spoke too soon! This is already ''weird''. |
| 504 | * The RunningGag of "Faces Eating Your Soul While You're Looking At Them Count". |
| 505 | * The repeated use of a clip of Tom and Jerry [[HeadDesk slamming their heads against a wall]]. |
| 506 | * Critic making fun of the kids and adults’ rather disgusted reaction to seeing Wonka for the first time “limping” with a cane. |
| 507 | -->"A ''cane?'' PISS ON HIS CORPSE! [[HitlerAteSugar You know who else had a cane? THE DEVIL!”]] |
| 508 | * Just the sight of [[FurryConfusion a dog on a leash]] is enough to make the Critic question how this world works, since the dogs that were previously seen were all [[FunnyAnimal Funny Animals]] that have jobs and laws. Which ties into a joke he admitted was ActuallyPrettyFunny, where ''{{WesternAnimation/Droopy}}'' was the fake fifth winner - and the Critic's brain then breaks when he sees Droopy getting led away in handcuffs. |
| 509 | * Critic is completely baffled by Slugworth acting ObviouslyEvil in private, when his whole role is to be Willy Wonka's hired RedHerring. |
| 510 | * The Critic considers the [[NightmareFuel infamous tunnel scene]] to be ''even crazier here than the original'', complete with floating toy dogs, getting away with saying "[[PrecisionFStrike Hell]]", and the fact that the speech is being delivered by an [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Oompa-Loompa mouse]]! |
| 511 | * In the First Viewing: |
| 512 | -->'''Willy Wonka''': So, Charlie. How did you like my factory? |
| 513 | -->'''Doug''': I... fight to give it the star on Yelp. |
| 514 | ** Doug and Mr. Walker both break out into guffaws at seeing Droopy getting arrested, due to the sheer absurdity of the situation. |
| 515 | ** During the tunnel scene, Rob jokes that the tunnel's images would be all the racist depictions of African-Americans ''Tom & Jerry'' had done in the past. When Doug ends up seeing what's actually in the tunnel, he mentions that it's just Rainbow Road from ''VideoGame/MarioKart''. |
| 516 | [[/folder]] |
| 517 | |
| 518 | [[folder: Monkeybone]] |
| 519 | * In the video's ColdOpening, Malcolm and Tamara continuously ask the Critic to allow them excuses to do weird stuff in a movie. At first, he agrees, since their last excuse, ''Film/{{Beetlejuice}}'', was a critical and box office hit. Unfortunately, their numerous attempts at excuses for weird stuff result in less successful films like ''Film/LittleMonsters'' and ''Film/CoolWorld'' (both of which the Critic [[Recap/TheNostalgiaCriticS3E47 had reviewed]] [[Recap/TheNostalgiaCriticS10E4 in the past]]), which increasingly grates on the Critic's nerves. The final straw comes when he gives them one more chance to do a movie with weird stuff which will be as good as ''Beetlejuice''. The result is ''[[OhCrap Monkeybone]]''. The ComicalAngryFace he gives them in response (shaking head around, eyes rolling and twitching, teeth gnashing) is priceless. |
| 520 | -->'''Tamara:''' ...[[AskAStupidQuestion Did you enjoy ''Monkeybone''?]]\ |
| 521 | ''[GilliganCut to Malcolm and Tamara shown being forced to [[WritingLines write on a whiteboard, "I will not breathe", numerous times]]. They say the word each time they write it.]''\ |
| 522 | '''Critic:''' ''[smiling sarcastically]'' Well, how can you accomplish that if you're ''saying'' it?\ |
| 523 | ''[Malcolm and Tamara take in a deep breath, then resume writing in silence]'' |
| 524 | * Early in the movie, the Critic is so bored that he's more interested in identifying the ''[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Simpsons]]'' episode where a Krusty picture in the background came from. Later in the review, there's a scene that it's so stupid for Critic that [[BrickJoke he goes back to the picture]] and realizes that it's from the "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS6E15HomieTheClown Homie the Clown]]" episode. |
| 525 | * When talking about how people once thought that animation was just for kids and the novelty of films like this one was that they were "pushing the envelope", he [[VisualPun pats (i.e. pushes) a letter (i.e. envelope).]] |
| 526 | * "Just for that, you get the button." The sound of a button being pressed is heard, followed by Malcolm and Tamara being blown up, followed by a picture of [[Film/PulpFiction Jules Winnfield]] and a message reading [[WeAreExperiencingTechnicalDifficulties "Please forgive our great vengeance and furious anger"]]. |
| 527 | * The dog's nightmare of a cat castrating him. |
| 528 | -->'''Critic:''' Whoa. Cat videos on the Dark Web are creepier than I expected. |
| 529 | * Critic recognizes a surgeon in the movie as being played by Creator/BobOdenkirk and wonders how that's gonna be worked into ''Series/BetterCallSaul''. |
| 530 | [[/folder]] |
| 531 | |
| 532 | [[folder: G.I. Joe: The Movie]] |
| 533 | * The Critic nerdgasming over the {{Eagleland}} [[Film/TeamAmericaWorldPolice "America 3()3 yeah!"]] opening intro. Replete with walking out and ending the review there only to realize there's the rest of the film and saying all that's missing is a UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump tweet saying he didn't like it. |
| 534 | --> Putin [[LeetSpeak wood have dun bett3r. sad]] |
| 535 | ** He also reacts to someone shouting "Cobra!" in the background, pretending it’s someone who got lost from the rest of the group, and makes overdramatic boos when Cobra first appears. |
| 536 | * As Roadblock carries Cobra Commander as they make their escape from Cobra-La, the Critic, as Cobra Commander, starts to sing "[[Film/TheBodyguard I Will Always Love You]]". |
| 537 | * Serpentor channeling his [[Series/XenaWarriorPrincess warrior princess]]. |
| 538 | ** The Critic saying that [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Homer Simpson's]] scream was added in the last part of the Cobra-La ululation. |
| 539 | * "Come on, Falcon, [[VideoGame/SuperSmashBros show me your moves!]] Oh my god, that was totally unintentional! But seriously though, you're going to die." |
| 540 | * The RunningGag of Duke's ConvenientComa as he was supposed to die in the original version. |
| 541 | -->'''Critic:''' ''[completely [[SarcasmMode sarcastic]]]'' And in other news, [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Poochie went back to his home planet]]!! |
| 542 | [[/folder]] |
| 543 | |
| 544 | [[folder: The Sorcerer's Apprentice]] |
| 545 | * Critic's theory as to how the movie was made: [[Creator/TeamFourStar Antfish]] pretends to be Nicolas Cage and calls the chart guys demanding to be the lead in a live-action remake of ''The Sorcerer's Apprentice''. |
| 546 | -->'''Cage:''' Disney, I want to play a wizard. |
| 547 | -->'''Executive #1 (Malcolm):''' Well, we can certainly do that. |
| 548 | -->'''Executive #2 (Rob):''' Yes, we have a live-action version of ''[[WesternAnimation/TheSwordInTheStone Sword in the Stone]]''. |
| 549 | -->'''Cage:''' No. |
| 550 | -->'''Executive #1:''' ''[[WesternAnimation/TheBlackCauldron Black Cauldron]]''? |
| 551 | -->'''Cage:''' No! |
| 552 | -->'''Executive #2:''' ''Series/WizardsOfWaverlyPlace''? |
| 553 | -->'''Cage:''' NO! |
| 554 | -->'''Executive #1:''' A ''Theatre/{{Wicked}}''-style [[WesternAnimation/{{Aladdin}} Jafar]] movie? |
| 555 | -->'''Cage:''' ''NO!'' |
| 556 | -->'''Executive #s:''' An all-male ''Film/HocusPocus'' reboot? |
| 557 | -->'''Cage:''' I want to play WesternAnimation/MickeyMouse. |
| 558 | -->'''Executive #2:''' What? |
| 559 | -->'''Cage:''' Mouse. |
| 560 | -->'''Executive #1:''' No! |
| 561 | -->'''Cage:''' Yes. |
| 562 | -->'''Executive #1:''' ''(resigned)'' Okay. |
| 563 | -->'''Cage:''' Just run it by my agent. He says yes to everything. |
| 564 | -->'''Executive #2:''' [[StealthInsult We noticed.]] |
| 565 | -->''(cut to reveal Antfish on the other end)'' |
| 566 | -->'''Antfish:''' Thanks, guys. This is gonna be AWESOOOME! ''(hangs up and snickers)'' Oh man, I cannot wait to see where this one leads. |
| 567 | * When a dissolve fades into itself, Tony launches into a long, rambling complaint about the sloppy edit [[HypocriticalHumor before it dissolves to minutes later]] giving us this OrphanedPunchline. |
| 568 | -->'''Tony''': And that's why we should all go to Mitt Romney's house dressed as hamsters and convince him ''he's'' [[{{Gaslighting}} a hamster too]], and his entire human life has been a dream. |
| 569 | * A fake ad proposes the idea of this film leading to a ''WesternAnimation/{{Fantasia}}'' [[TheVerse Cinematic Universe]]: |
| 570 | ** Samuel L. Jackson as the Nick Fury-like Leopold Stokowski, with a ShoutOut to ''WesternAnimation/LongHairedHare''. "Leopold." "L-L-L-Leopold." |
| 571 | ** Jared Leto hams it up as Chernabog. Complete with the reveal that he's not even on set yet. |
| 572 | ** Scarlett Johannson gives the ostrich from ''Dance of the Hours'' a DarkAndTroubledPast. |
| 573 | * The female leads name is Becky Barnes. [[ObligatoryJoke Of course]], Critic and Tony resort to calling her the [[ComicBook/BuckyBarnes Winter Soldier]]. |
| 574 | * When Balthazar seemingly dies, Critic and Tony are [[GenreSavvy well aware of what's going on]]. |
| 575 | -->'''Critic''': (disinterested) [[SarcasmMode Gee, I can't believe]] [[DisneyDeath they killed off the main character in a Disney film.]] |
| 576 | -->'''Tony''': (disinterested) [[LongList Yeah, just like]] [[WesternAnimation/SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarfs Snow White]], and WesternAnimation/{{Pinocchio}}, and [[WesternAnimation/LadyAndTheTramp Trusty]], and [[WesternAnimation/SleepingBeauty Aurora]], and [[Film/DarbyOGillAndTheLittlePeople Darby O'Gill]], and [[WesternAnimation/TheJungleBook1967 Baloo]], and WesternAnimation/{{Robin Hood|1973}}, and [[WesternAnimation/TheFoxAndTheHound Chief]], and [[WesternAnimation/TheBlackCauldron Gurgi]], and [[WesternAnimation/TheGreatMouseDetective Basil]], and [[WesternAnimation/BeautyAndTheBeast the Beast]], and [[WesternAnimation/AladdinTheReturnOfJafar Iago]], and [[WesternAnimation/TheHunchbackOfNotreDameDisney Esmeralda]], and [[WesternAnimation/{{Hercules}} Megara]], and [[Film/{{Enchanted}} Giselle]], and WesternAnimation/WallE, and [[WesternAnimation/{{Tangled}} Flynn]], and [[Film/TheAvengers2012 Iron Man]], and [[WesternAnimation/WreckItRalph Ralph]], and [[WesternAnimation/Frozen2013 Anna]], and [[WesternAnimation/BigHero6 Baymax]]. |
| 577 | -->'''Critic''': [[SarcasmMode Well, I for one am shocked.]] |
| 578 | * The RunningGag of Critic falling for several [[PrankCall Prank Calls]]: |
| 579 | ** First, he's tricked by someone who claims to be Creator/NicolasCage inviting him to [[Film/TheWickerMan2006 wear bear suits]] and sing the ''WesternAnimation/DuckTales1987'' theme in UsefulNotes/{{Egypt}}. It was Tony who called him. |
| 580 | ** Next, he's called by someone claiming to be Wrestling/SgtSlaughter inviting him to go to UsefulNotes/{{Africa}} to wrestle lions until their heads explode. It's actually Devil Boner. |
| 581 | ** Then, someone pretends to be Creator/StanleyKubrick, who came BackFromTheDead to make the Nostagia Critic movie on the moon. This time, it's Bill. What makes this one especially funny is that Bill doesn't even say a word, and yet [[SuperGullible Critic]] ''[[SuperGullible still]]'' [[SuperGullible fell for it!]] |
| 582 | ** Finally, he's called by someone claiming to be [[Music/{{Slipknot}} Corey Taylor]]. This time, Critic plays along with the caller and sarcastically guesses that his son Griff Taylor, Hyper Fangirl, Black Willy Wonka, Rob Scallon, and Chester A. Bum are going to tour in an ice cream truck. When the caller says that's all correct, Critic hangs up, dismissing it as another prank. Except it's not. |
| 583 | * The mention of a live-action ''WesternAnimation/HomeOnTheRange'' remake. |
| 584 | * When Charging Bull comes to life, Tony adds this quip: |
| 585 | -->'''Tony as Bull''': Where's that little girl? I've got a score to settle! |
| 586 | [[/folder]] |
| 587 | |
| 588 | [[folder:[=DuckTales=] (2017)]] |
| 589 | * The introduction: |
| 590 | -->'''Critic''': Well, I was right. ''[[EarWorm It'll never LEAVE]]''! |
| 591 | ** And near the end: |
| 592 | -->'''Roxanne Featherly:''' Reclusive adventure-capitalist Scrooge [=McDuck=] is back [...] [[WaxingLyrical solving mysteries and rewriting history]]. |
| 593 | -->'''Critic:''' [[WesternAnimation/ChipNDaleRescueRangers "Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale's Rescue Ra--!"]] Oh, I ''had'' it! |
| 594 | * Critic freaking out over the opening scene of [[FurryConfusion a seagull being shooed away by feathered sailors]]. |
| 595 | -->'''Critic:''' They're all ''birds!'' How does this work?! When is [[WesternAnimation/PlutoThePup Pluto]] gonna walk WesternAnimation/{{Goofy}}?! IT'S NEVER EXPLAINED! |
| 596 | * Donald's line "Crazy old bird" being mistaken for "broad" due to his SpeechImpediment, with Critic making a CallBack to [[WesternAnimation/GrandmaGotRunOverByAReindeer a similar misinterpretation]]. |
| 597 | * Critic's [[MythologyGag in-joke counter]], which he brushes aside when he realizes [[ReferenceOverdosed there's going to be a lot of them]]. |
| 598 | ** When Dewey mentions Cape Suzette, Critic hopes it will open the door for a ''WesternAnimation/TaleSpin'' reboot, maybe [[Series/TalesOfTheGoldMonkey a live-action one]]. |
| 599 | ** The counter starts rising rapidly when the kids are in Scrooge's collection, which is full of references to the original series. |
| 600 | ** When Dewey's usage of the marbles is to [[PercussiveMaintenance smash the door handle with them]], subverting the original series: |
| 601 | --->'''Critic''': You know, dammit, show, stop being so clever! |
| 602 | ** Which ties back into his comment about Scrooge's business executives all being vultures. |
| 603 | --->'''Critic''': You know, I'm only three minutes into this show and already it's more insanely-clever than it needs to be. |
| 604 | * Since Scrooge is voiced by Creator/DavidTennant, Critic can imagine him the cranky duck [[Series/JessicaJones2015 telling someone to throw coffee in his own face]]. |
| 605 | * Critic calling the new Webby [[WesternAnimation/GravityFalls "Wabel"]]. |
| 606 | -->"Quackling hook!" |
| 607 | ** And when Critic notices that there's a doll of the [[TakeThatScrappy old Webby pinned to the wall with an arrow]], he remarks "[[DudeNotFunny Too soon]]"...then asks the writers to get rid of [[WesternAnimation/TaleSpin Molly]] while they're at it. |
| 608 | * After seeing one woman's strong resemblance to [[WesternAnimation/AGoofyMovie Roxanne]], Critic says he's happy that she's still looking for a job after breaking up with Max, who is now dating a model...[[WesternAnimation/MickeysTwiceUponAChristmas "a butt-ugly CGI model"]]. |
| 609 | ** And when the same woman reappears as a reporter, Critic is happy that Roxanne already found another job. |
| 610 | * Scrooge tells Beakley of the prophecy that will lead the way to Altantis, but Critic thinks of another [[WesternAnimation/AtlantisTheLostEmpire Atlantis expedition]]. |
| 611 | --> '''Critic:''' Ehh, Joss Whedon already searched once with Disney, it got mixed results. |
| 612 | ** He later brings this up again when noting of the show using ideas of Atlantis from a [[TakeThat failed straight to dvd tv show that never happened]]. |
| 613 | * After the Headlessman Horse leaves with its new head, Critic admits [[ActuallyPrettyFunny as funny as that was]], if there was any character he wants to know the fate of... |
| 614 | * Critic describes Pixiu as a Chinese dragon who, much like the live-action remake of ''WesternAnimation/{{Mulan}}'', [[TakeThat is only there]] [[MoneyDearBoy to consume riches]]. |
| 615 | * After the characters defeat (or as Critic says, presumably murders) Pixu, he half-heartedly notes that not having a head isn't the roadblock it used to be while showing a gif of the Headlessman Horse. |
| 616 | * Glomgold welcomes his new employees to Glomgold Industries, Critic says, "Well, now we know what the CEO of 'The Tilted Kilt' looks like." |
| 617 | * As Scrooge describes from a carving how the Atlanteans were so eager to build their city of wonders and death traps, they forgot to make a proper support system, causing the whole city to fall into the sea. Critic immediately calls this out, "So they... made that sign after the city sank?" Then he plays a clip from ''Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail'' where one of the knights looks at carving noting, "he must have died while carving it." |
| 618 | * As he notes how Huey, Dewey and Louie have separate identities compared to previous appearances: |
| 619 | -->'''Critic:''' I can't even think of the last time I saw an episode of ''anything'' where one gets individual focus instead of all of them sharing the same amount of time--\ |
| 620 | ''(a picture of the nephews' [[TotallyRadical incarnation]] from'' WesternAnimation/QuackPack ''flashes onscreen)''\ |
| 621 | '''Critic:''' ''[[TakeThat ...that's]] '''[[TakeThat fond]]''' [[TakeThat remembering!]]'' |
| 622 | * When Dewey yells at Scrooge for lumping him with the others "while he drives", Critic tries to reassure him. |
| 623 | --> '''Critic:''' Oh come on, nobody lumps you all together... (''nervously'') [[ColourCodedForYourConvenience Blue]] [[HypocriticalHumor one]]? |
| 624 | * As Glomgold abandons his henchmen and tries to blow up Atlantis and everyone inside: |
| 625 | -->'''Gabby [=McStabberson=]:''' Mr. Duck! Could we, um, maybe bum a ride with you?\ |
| 626 | '''Critic (as Gabby):''' We're just gonna be confused for [[Franchise/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles Ninja Turtle]] villains if we don't get more screentime. |
| 627 | * As the episode ends, Critic prepares to celebrate by drinking out of his favorite and most expensive champagne glass with his favorite and most expensive champagne inside. Then comes TheReveal that the nephews' barely-mentioned mother will play a part in the series' MythArc, [[DramaticDrop and, well...]] |
| 628 | -->'''Critic:''' [[SubvertedTrope Do you know how close I was to dropping that?]] |
| 629 | * He goes off on a rant about the reveal of Della Duck and how he never considered the triplets had ''actual'' parents. |
| 630 | -->'''Critic:''' I just assumed they were clones! Spawned in a laboratory of comedic sidekicks! |
| 631 | [[/folder]] |
| 632 | |
| 633 | [[folder: Eragon]] |
| 634 | * Critic thinking ''Eragon'' is a generic fantasy VHS game from the 80's rather than a film from 2006. |
| 635 | * Critic does the [[BreakingTheFourthWall standard introduction to his videos]] much to the confusion of Malcolm and Tamara. |
| 636 | --> '''Critic:''' Let's go through and see what's wrong with this messterpiece. |
| 637 | -->'''Tamara:''' What are your eyes even looking at? We're down here. |
| 638 | -->'''Critic:''' Let's take a look at ''Eragon''. |
| 639 | -->'''Malcolm:''' [[SuddenlyShouting Who are you talking to right now?!]] |
| 640 | * The RunningGag of NC finding generic fantasy tropes within the film and showing other films that these tropes have appeared in. |
| 641 | * NC can't distinguish between Eragon and Roran, and in the scene where Roran leaves, he dubs the characters thinking they don't know either. |
| 642 | * Critic's hatred of [[WhoForgotTheLights overly dark fight scenes]] returns, and he interprets Eragon's first use of magic as him being so pissed off by the lack of lighting that he overcomes it through sheer willpower. |
| 643 | * John Malkovich is the narrator of the video. He not only [[TheTapeKnewYouWouldSayThat knows what Critic is going to say]], but has prepared several statements reassuring them that yes, this is a recording. He's lying and is Skyping in from another room. |
| 644 | [[/folder]] |
| 645 | |
| 646 | [[folder: Kangaroo Jack]] |
| 647 | * The video opens with Critic absolutely giddy that he gets to talk about ''WesternAnimation/SamuraiJack'', only for Malcolm to inform him he's actually talking about ''Film/KangarooJack''. The spark in his eye just dies out. |
| 648 | * Critic pointing out the clear ExecutiveMeddling when it goes from Charlie groping Jessie's breasts to a long dream sequence of Kangaroo Jack rapping and talking, making it clear how stitched together this was. |
| 649 | * The random insertions of scenes from the animated sequel. |
| 650 | ** That his reaction to this is [[Theatre/RomeoandJuliet "All Are Pun-ish-ed!"]] |
| 651 | * When going over the money realization while in the "plane bathroom making people think you're talking about your own shit joke", NC wonders how the writing process went. Cut to a gag where the writer (who also wrote the Godfather) figures it out and his assistant praises him as a god. It also happens in the "camel farting" scene. |
| 652 | * The assertion that Michael Shannon and Martin Csokas must not've even been told what this movie was really called or what it was really about, otherwise they wouldn't be putting nearly as much effort into their performance. |
| 653 | * Once he realizes that the premise is about the two main characters chasing after Kangaroo Jack to get the money back, Critic says it would be passable as the plot of [[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes a short starring Sylvester the Cat and the kangaroo]][[note]]AKA Hippety Hopper.[[/note]] instead of a movie that's an hour and twenty minutes long. He then adds that the least they could have done is turning it into a crossover with Wile E. Coyote. It then cuts to the latter, [[TalkingWithSigns holding a sign that reads "Nope."]], [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere and immediately leaving afterwards]]. |
| 654 | * {{Bookend|s}}ing the video, Critic excitedly announces the next review is ''Film/TheGreenMile'', but is confused that it stars Ryan Reynolds as a superhero, only for Malcolm to tell him the next review is ''Film/GreenLantern2011''. |
| 655 | -->'''Critic:''' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck OH, COME O-]] ''[cue the end credits]'' |
| 656 | [[/folder]] |
| 657 | |
| 658 | [[folder: A Goofy Movie]] |
| 659 | * The Critic has a lot of FurryConfusion questions. |
| 660 | -->'''Critic''': Remember when [[WesternAnimation/GoofTroop Goofy owned a cat]]? Is that like slavery?! |
| 661 | * As the opening titles spell out "A MOVIE" before "GOOFY" is added to it, the Critic wonders what ''A Movie'' would have been like. |
| 662 | * The Critic on the opening fantasy at the beginning involving Max and Roxanne. |
| 663 | -->'''Critic:''' Eh, to be fair, this fantasy is kinder than [[RuleThirtyFour the fantasies the internet has had about her]]. [''Yellow Text flashes on the screen that says "DON'T GOOGLE IT!" "I DID!" [[BrainBleach "MISTAKE!"]]''] |
| 664 | ** The look on the Critic's face during the texts meant that he saw things he could never unsee. |
| 665 | ** He then compliments the movie for actually making a Goofy laugh ''scary'' with the opening nightmare sequence. |
| 666 | * When talking about Max's Powerline "concert" at the assembly, he posits a question he's raised before regarding ''Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir''. |
| 667 | -->'''Critic''': You know, is it possible to make something ''[[UnintentionalPeriodPiece so dated]]'' that it's actually timeless? This movie is ''really'' trying to say "yes". |
| 668 | * When Max and Roxanne start flirting in the Principal's office, he has this to say. |
| 669 | -->'''Critic''': Aww, it's PuppyLove. (''[[LamePunReaction Unseen audience boos]]'') ''Don't act like you wouldn't have said it!'' Your hands are just as dirty! |
| 670 | ** For that matter, he finds their relationship absolutely {{adorkable}}, and compliments the writers for making Roxanne a well-rounded character instead of a SatelliteLoveInterest. |
| 671 | --->'''Critic''': I wanna bundle you up in a cute ball and put you in a cute box of cute! |
| 672 | * When Max and Goofy play a road trip guessing game. |
| 673 | -->'''Goofy:''' You think of a name, and I'll try to guess who it is! Man or woman? |
| 674 | -->'''Max:''' Man. |
| 675 | -->'''Goofy:''' Creator/WaltDisney! |
| 676 | -->'''Max:''' Right... ''[massive explosion]'' |
| 677 | -->'''Critic as Goofy:''' A-hyuck! [[PuffOfLogic Did we just implode our universe for a minute?]] ... Oh well! [Continues driving] |
| 678 | ** During the song and dance number, the Critic points out that the implications are rather disturbing, as other singers consist of a Country group stuffed into a piano, a ''kidnapping victim'' in the trunk of a car, and the dead coming back to life to join in. |
| 679 | ** Also during the song, Critic notes how confusing it is that Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck are hitchhiking on the highway, yet Max has a Mickey phone on his nightstand and earlier mentioned that his father is friends with Donald. |
| 680 | --->'''Critic:''' Dude, Max, you should ask. Maybe your dad ''does'' know Powerline. These are some weird connections. |
| 681 | * The Critic is similarly disturbed by the amount of {{Creepy Child}}ren in the movie, citing the baby's [[RedEyesTakeWarning flash of red eyes]] at Goofy's job and the girl with missing teeth at the Possum Park. |
| 682 | ** Speaking of which... |
| 683 | --->'''Max''': My life's a living- \ |
| 684 | '''Lester Possum''': ''[[LastSecondWordSwap Hell]]o'', little buddy!\ |
| 685 | '''Critic''': [[AvoidTheDreadedGRating Okay, G film. You were]] ''[[AvoidTheDreadedGRating this]]'' [[AvoidTheDreadedGRating close to getting a "P" put in front of you]]. |
| 686 | ** Which just leads to further confusion as this is a giant animal dressed ''as'' a giant animal. |
| 687 | * Max and Goofy fishing |
| 688 | -->'''Goofy:''' The perfect cast... |
| 689 | -->'''Critic as Goofy:''' You know, something ''[[Film/SuicideSquad2016 Suicide Squad]]'' [[QuestionableCasting didn't have]]! |
| 690 | * Regarding their bonding [[ItMakesSenseInContext while trapped in their car by Bigfoot]]. |
| 691 | -->'''Goofy''': Or, "I love you!" (''Beat as [[RealMenHateAffection an awkward silence ensues]]'')\ |
| 692 | '''Critic''': When you realize - "Shit, this movie's kind of working." Followed by (''{{GASP}} as Max hands Goofy [[Heartwarming/AGoofyMovie "Hi Dad" at the bottom of his cup]]'')\ |
| 693 | '''Goofy''': ''[softly]'' 'Night, Maxie.\ |
| 694 | '''Critic''': Excuse me, I've got [[SandInMyEyes something in my eye]]. [[SubvertedTrope Ah, there we go]]. Where was I? Oh yeah, this scene. ''[[DoubleSubversion This scene makes me]]'' '''''[[DoubleSubversion cry]]'''''! |
| 695 | * When Goofy mimes with a mime and ''somehow'' [[PianoDrop causes a real piano to drop on him!]] |
| 696 | -->'''Critic as Goofy:''' A-hyuck, I committed abstract murder. |
| 697 | ** Brought up again at the end, as Max introduces Roxanne to his father: |
| 698 | --->'''Critic as Goofy:''' A-hyuck, I killed a mime. |
| 699 | * As Goofy and Max settle down in a ocean-themed motel room, described as "''WesternAnimation/{{The Little Mermaid|1989}}'''s love shack", containing transparent waterbeds with live fish in them: |
| 700 | -->'''Critic:''' Ohh, those fish gotta stare at Goofy's junk all night?! Are there fish-people in this world? ''I need to know how to judge this!'' |
| 701 | * As Goofy and Max have an argument while their car careens down the cliffside and sails down a river with them on top of it: |
| 702 | -->'''Critic:''' They blow up at each other and sit in silence while... well, there's no other way to say it. They're in a car [[Series/SaturdayNightLive DOWN BY THE RIVER]]! |
| 703 | [[/folder]] |
| 704 | |
| 705 | [[folder: Green Lantern]] |
| 706 | * Throughout the review, he's brought in Ryan Reynolds's other superhero role to help, Film/Deadpool2016. But he continuously [[{{Flanderization}} acts like an unfunny, random, annoying jackass]]. Hyper Fangirl reveals that that it's not Deadpool, it's Cosplaying Asshole Deadpool. |
| 707 | -->'''Hyper:''' You know, one of those guys at a convention who, just because he's wearing a Deadpool costume, thinks that he's instantly funny and can do no wrong.\ |
| 708 | '''Cosplaying Asshole Deadpool:''' I'm gonna judge really hot chicks and act like I have a chance to get with them!\ |
| 709 | '''Critic:''' Oh, that's why he's so insufferable. You see, I thought something that was so clever and timeless would be represented here, but instead I just got an imitation that has no idea what made the original good-You can play clips over this, that's the idea. |
| 710 | * Critic brings up [[TheBigDamnKiss the upside-down kiss]] from ''Film/SpiderMan1'' and the FlightOfRomance from ''Film/{{Superman|TheMovie}}'' as examples of memorable romantic scenes from superhero movies. When he mentions that the romantic scene in this movie (whose protagonist can do ANYTHING with his ring) merely consists of Hal Jordan and Carol Ferris sitting down and talking, he then says that it'd be like if the aforementioned scene from ''Superman'' was replaced by the Man of Steel and Lois Lane simply eating food from UsefulNotes/McDonalds. |
| 711 | * [[Series/TheITCrowd "Have you tried turning the film off and on again?]] |
| 712 | * The Critic calling Sinestro "Captain Pepto-Bismol" and "Sunburned Stephen Colbert" |
| 713 | * When Parallax appears: |
| 714 | -->'''Critic:''' [[Film/DoctorStrange2016 Bullshit Face! I've come to bargain!]] |
| 715 | * Cosplaying Asshole Deadpool gets the chance [[SchmuckBait to touch Hyper's breasts]], unaware that Devil Boner would beat the shit out of him. So yes, Hyper managed to pull off a ''[[NotHyperbole literal]]'' BoobyTrap. |
| 716 | * The Stinger |
| 717 | -->'''Critic:''' I'm the Nostalgia Critic, and... I'm gonna kick him a bit more because it's fun. |
| 718 | [[/folder]] |
| 719 | |
| 720 | [[folder: Scary Godmother]] |
| 721 | * This year's Nostalgia-Ween intro is a parody of ''WesternAnimation/TreehouseOfHorror'', with the GraveHumor including: |
| 722 | ** [[OldShame Let's Play of Bart's Nightmare]] |
| 723 | ** ''WebVideo/DemoReel'' |
| 724 | ** ''WesternAnimation/TheEmojiMovie'' |
| 725 | ** [[TakeThat Funny]] Creator/AdamSandler |
| 726 | ** And capping off the homage is a CouchGag with Critic, Malcolm, and Tamara as [[CallBack Casper ghosts]]. |
| 727 | * The Critic notices that the opening is an egg-shaped moon. We immediately cut back to him pointing a shotgun at the screen. |
| 728 | -->'''Critic''': I'm opening fire if this is a Film/HowardTheDuck spin-off! |
| 729 | * The older kids' horrendously repetitive antics annoy Critic to the point that he expects [[Film/DoctorStrange2016 Doctor Strange to appear and say he's come to bargain.]] |
| 730 | * Critic's... terrified reaction to Hannah's [[NonStandardCharacterDesign eyes]] in comparison to the other children's BlackBeadEyes: |
| 731 | --> '''Critic:''' ''AAAAHH!'' '''Fully developed eyes!''' '''''ABOMINATION ON THIS WORLD!''''' |
| 732 | * Critic literally falls out of his chair when he hears that [[CampGay Mr. Pettibones]] is the LITERAL Skeleton [[TransparentCloset In The Closet]]. |
| 733 | -->'''Critic''': YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING! ''YOU KNOW '''EXACTLY''' WHAT YOU'RE DOING!'' |
| 734 | ** When he starts doing a showtunes number in the climax... |
| 735 | --->'''Critic''': Can we just conclude there is ''nothing'' in the closet about him anymore? |
| 736 | ** When Mr. Pettibones first appears, the Critic jokes that he's voiced by Creator/JohnWaters. After hearing him speak, however, the Critic corrects himself by saying that John Waters ''wishes'' he could be in something [[SoBadItsGood this kitsch]]. |
| 737 | * After a series of {{Overly Long Gag}}s from the kids, we get the scene where Diablo Bros. Pizza arrives. |
| 738 | -->'''Critic''': This better be followed by a funny moment or I'm gonna [[AssShove shove a candy-apple up somebody's rectum]].\ |
| 739 | '''Scary Godmother''': $200 in ''pizza''?!\ |
| 740 | '''Delivery Skeleton''': Of course, you could always... (''[[EvilSoundsDeep sounding]] [[EvilSoundsRaspy very different]]'') '''''[[DealWithTheDevil sign for it]]'''''.\ |
| 741 | '''Scary Godmother''': Uh, no.\ |
| 742 | '''Critic''': ... [[ActuallyPrettyFunny you got lucky]]. |
| 743 | [[/folder]] |
| 744 | |
| 745 | [[folder: IT (2017)]] |
| 746 | * The ColdOpening (which is a ShoutOut to Marge's warnings in older ''WesternAnimation/TreehouseOfHorror'' episodes) with Hyper Fangirl telling everyone that the video is about something scary: [[TakeThat opinions]]. The audience boos her, but she reminds them of the fact that everyone got upset with the Critic reviewed the [[Recap/TheNostalgiaCriticS3E40 first version of]] ''[[Recap/TheNostalgiaCriticS3E40 It]]'', but since then they have wanted him to review a Stephen King movie once each year. She asks that the audience all be adults and accept that there are better things worth arguing. But when they boo and pelt her with negative comments... |
| 747 | -->'''Hyper:''' My fiancee said that this would happen, so he wrote me a little backup speech.\ |
| 748 | ''(She pulls out a GIGANTIC MACHINE GUN and aims it menacingly at the audience!)''\ |
| 749 | '''Hyper:''' ANY O' YOU CRYBABIES SHIT-PANTS GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT, YOU CAN TALK IT UP WITH ME!!! |
| 750 | ** With that, she unloads her gun on the audience, reducing them to silence! Then she reverts to speaking more calmly: |
| 751 | --->"Enjoy the review, have a good time, and remember, if anyone feels triggered, you can say hello to ''(pulls out machine gun again)'' ''[[SuddenlyShouting MY]]'' [[SuddenlyShouting TRIGGER, BIOTCH!!!]]" |
| 752 | * The GraveHumor in this intro includes: |
| 753 | ** WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons After Season 6 |
| 754 | ** Creator/JoelSchumacher [[TheVerse Cinematic Universe]] |
| 755 | ** [[TakeThat Good]] [[Film/TransformersFilmSeries Transformers Films]] |
| 756 | ** Creator/NicolasCage [[MoneyDearBoy Saying “No”]] |
| 757 | ** [[ObligatoryJoke And of course]], the CouchGag is about Critic, Malcolm, and Tamara being scared away from the couch by the [[FauxHorrific balloon with eyes]]. |
| 758 | * The setup is a parody of Batman's "[[Recap/BatmanTheAnimatedSeriesE46AlmostGotIm Almost Got 'Im]]" entitled Almost Got It, where both Tim Curry's and Bill Skarsgård's versions of Pennywise are playing poker. The third person is [[Series/TheITCrowd Maurice Moss]]. |
| 759 | ** When the Critic comes in and suggests that they let him decide who had the better movie, both Pennywises shut him down. The Critic decides to do it anyway because he refuses to do [[Film/TheDarkTower2017 The Dark Tower movie]]. |
| 760 | ** Over the opening, there's off-hand comments about "Ratings", described as "How you measured success before Creator/{{Netflix}} arrived." It was described as "stupid", because "They told us nobody watched WesternAnimation/{{Family Guy}}, but the fans brought it back so that years later, nobody will watch Family Guy." |
| 761 | * The starring cast includes: |
| 762 | ** Bill Skarsgård (With several symbols above his accent) |
| 763 | ** Bill (Malcom's [[RunningGag recurring character]], who is replaced by...) |
| 764 | ** New White Bill |
| 765 | ** [[MonsterMunch Pawn Sacrifice in Yellow Coat]] |
| 766 | ** Not the 'Series/StrangerThings' Kids |
| 767 | ** Except [[Creator/FinnWolfhard One]] |
| 768 | ** [[ClicheStorm Every Stephen King Trope]] |
| 769 | ** TWO Creepy Pedophiles |
| 770 | ** Balloons |
| 771 | ** Tommy Tibble from [[WesternAnimation/{{Arthur}} Author]] |
| 772 | ** Lucas from ''[[Film/TheDarkTower2017 The Dark Tower]]'' |
| 773 | ** He sure traded up on King movies |
| 774 | ** [[ItMakesSenseInContext Mr. and Mrs. Lightbulb]] |
| 775 | ** Blue Sky Posing as a Rainy Day |
| 776 | * When Georgie (played by Tamara) encounters the 2017 Pennywise in the storm drain, [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere he just runs for it.]] Also, Curry Pennywise's ''perfectly''-delivered commentary on the [[FridgeLogic absurd creepiness]] of that scene: |
| 777 | -->You don't feed off their ''dumb''! Something has to draw them in! |
| 778 | * This wonderful exchange:- |
| 779 | -->'''Skarsgard!Pennywise''': Wait a minute, what do you mean, "silly"!? There's nothing silly about me! I'm the most frightening thing in cinema!\ |
| 780 | '''Critic''': (beat) You wanna tell him, or should I? \ |
| 781 | '''Curry!Pennywise''': I think we should both tell him. \ |
| 782 | '''Skarsgard!Pennywise''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint What? Tell me what?]] \ |
| 783 | '''Critic and Curry!Pennywise''': '''YOU'RE A CLOWN!''' |
| 784 | * The Critic and Curry Pennywise making fun of Skarsgård!Pennywise's "scary" run. |
| 785 | --> '''Curry Pennywise''': You look and sound like a possessed Olaf from ''Frozen''. |
| 786 | * The scene where Ben invites the Losers Club to his house has two moments: |
| 787 | ** Critic points out that at least Ben's status as the "Token Fat" is not the stereotypical BigEater. |
| 788 | --->'''Critic''': Yeah, I guess I'll give the movie this. Instead of the fat kid trope being obsessed with-\ |
| 789 | '''Ben''': ''[Holding a box full of Twinkies]'' FOOD! \ |
| 790 | '''Critic''': In this, he's obsessed with- \ |
| 791 | '''Ben''': ''[Points to his [[StringTheory Town Map wall]] while munching on Twinkies]'' TOWN! |
| 792 | ** The kids are too busy making references about the 80s {{Shout Out}}s and keep ignoring Richie noticing Pennywise in all the pictures. |
| 793 | * When the bullies (one of them played by Malcolm) are bullying Mike ([[ActingForTwo who is also played by Malcolm]])... |
| 794 | --> '''Malcolm as Bully''': This feels a little [[{{Pun}} self-defeating]]. |
| 795 | * When the Losers Club is recruiting Mike, he only accepts if he's not getting shoved into the background like Stan. Then Stan explains that, since there are already too many characters as it is, he was inevitably the one who had to be OutOfFocus, so he gets replaced with a cardboard cutout until he does something. Right after that, Mike gets shoved into the background with him as well. They spend most of the review as freeze-takes. When it's the moment to take out Henry, the group call Mike to do it, unfreezing him. Before Stan also gets to expose his background, they tell him that there's no time and he will be relegated to the DVD extras. |
| 796 | * Pennywise's dancing has a dance mix of "MEME ME!" which the Critic and Curry's Pennywise find hilarious when the Critic puts South Park's German Dance over it. |
| 797 | -->'''Skarsgård Pennywise:''' Oh come on, people just stopped playing Gangnam Style over that! |
| 798 | * When Pennywise is transforming into the kids' fears, one of them is Creator/TommyWiseau. [[TakeThat The kids immediately start beating him up at this point.]] Bonus points for the actor playing Bill [[FunnyBackgroundEvent trying to keep his wig on before giving up and tossing it on Wiseau/Pennywise like a weapon]]. |
| 799 | --> '''"Tommy Wiseau":''' ''(as he is getting the tar beaten out of him)'' [[CallBack You're just chickens! Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheeeeep!]] |
| 800 | * The scene where Ben kisses Beverly is interrupted by Jason breaking character and points out that he's married. |
| 801 | -->'''Jason:''' ''(shows his ring finger)'' You know what, I'm married. I love my wife. ''(kisses his finger and pats it on Beverly's nose)''\ |
| 802 | '''Beverly:''' ''(snaps out of her catatonic state)'' Still counts! |
| 803 | * Bill, Ben, and Beverly check [[Literature/{{IT}} the book]] to see what Beverly would do originally... and are intensely disturbed and disgusted by the tunnel sex scene, immediately agreeing to [[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain just blow kisses to each other and never think about it again.]] |
| 804 | --> '''Beverly:''' ''(clearly disturbed)'' Oh yeah no, I'm not doing that. (motions towards her neck)\ |
| 805 | '''Bill:''' S-super uncomfortable.\ |
| 806 | '''Beverly:''' Umm... How about we, um, uh... blow kisses? ''(all three of them awkwardly blow kisses towards each other and leave)'' |
| 807 | * TheReveal that The Critic is actually the Joker in disguise, telling them that they should be both scary and funny. |
| 808 | -->'''Joker:''' Do you know how many incarnations of the Joker there's been? Tons! And do you know what the best ones have in common? |
| 809 | -->'''Skarsgård Pennywise:''' They're not Jared Leto? |
| 810 | -->'''Joker:''' ... Yes. |
| 811 | * After Joker advises both Skarsgård Pennywise and Curry Pennywise to be scary ''and'' funny, Curry Pennywise suddenly remembers the Clown Prince of Crime from somewhere. |
| 812 | --> '''Curry Pennywise:''' Hey! Wasn't I originally up for your role?\ |
| 813 | '''Joker:''' [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Woop! Gotta go!]] ''(jumps out the window as he does his SignatureLaugh)'' |
| 814 | * The review ends with the Critic and the Curry and Skarsgård Pennywises doing the silly dance in a Looney Tunes backdrop with 'The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down' playing. The three then turn to the right and do the miniseries' "WA HA! WA HA! WA HA!" and do the Skarsgård smile at the screen. The final shot is that of a Looney Tunes ending screen which reads "That's IT, folks!" |
| 815 | * The end credits have Rob and Malcolm having a WhosOnFirst routine with the name "It". |
| 816 | [[/folder]] |
| 817 | |
| 818 | [[folder: Halloween (2007)]] |
| 819 | * The GraveHumor in this intro includes: |
| 820 | ** [[Creator/JaredLeto Jared Leto]]'s [[MethodActing Dignity]] |
| 821 | ** [[Creator/TommyWiseau Tommy Wiseau]]'s [[NoSenseOfHumor Sense of Humor]] |
| 822 | ** [[TakeThat Trump's Cabinet]] |
| 823 | ** Buzzfeed Grave - Dig to Learn More |
| 824 | ** And the CouchGag features Jason Voorhees turning on the television with Freddy Krueger's glove, serving as a CallBack to the review of ''Film/FreddyVsJason''. |
| 825 | * The Critic finds the fact that Michael, in this version, lies about having committed the murders exactly like a little kid usually lies about far more mundane things. |
| 826 | -->'''Critic''': (''In a childish voice'') [[TakeThat Don't believe]] [[UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump the fake news]], [[GoldenMeanFallacy both sides are to blame]]! |
| 827 | * Comparing Michael's "troubled childhood" to the "[[Film/DumbAndDumber Most Annoying Sound in the World]]." |
| 828 | * The Critic summarizes the film's ending: |
| 829 | -->'''Critic''': She shoots him, she screams, and [[NoEnding that's it]]! Halloween! [''[[BrickJoke Lloyd Christmas screams]]''] |
| 830 | [[/folder]] |
| 831 | |
| 832 | [[folder: The Mummy (1999)]] |
| 833 | * The GraveHumor in this intro includes: |
| 834 | ** [[NeverLiveItDown That Time Nostalgia Critic Made Fun Of Mako]] |
| 835 | ** Creator/{{Mako}} |
| 836 | ** WesternAnimation/SonicTheHedgehogSatAM [[CutShort Season 3]] |
| 837 | ** [[Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial Star Wars Easter Special]] |
| 838 | ** And finally, the CouchGag has Malcolm, Tamara, and Rob slowly backing away from Critic, who's [[Film/TheShining wearing a plaid shirt and holding an ax]]. |
| 839 | * A BrickJoke involving the film's credits: |
| 840 | -->'''Critic:''' Sadly, though, Fraser is said to hang, and...\ |
| 841 | ''[The hatch opens, and Rick is left hanging]''\ |
| 842 | '''Critic:''' ...short movie.\ |
| 843 | ''[[[DownerEnding Cut to the film's end credits, with the words "Directed by Stephen Sommers"]], before cutting back to the original scene]''\ |
| 844 | '''Critic:''' Actually, his neck doesn't break...\ |
| 845 | ''[Later on, when Jonathan inadvertently presses a trap switch in a Hamunaptra pyramid wall, causing the roof collapses and Imhotep's sarcophagus seemingly falls on Rick and Evy]''\ |
| 846 | '''Critic:''' Well, that's the end of them.\ |
| 847 | ''[[[DownerEnding Cut to the same end credits again,]] [[BrickJoke with the same directorial credits]], before cutting back to the original scene]''\ |
| 848 | '''Critic:''' No, they just missed it... goddammit... and find the Book of the Dead. |
| 849 | * When the scarab start eating Gad from the inside, albeit with poorly done CGI: |
| 850 | -->'''Critic:''' (as Gad) Oh, no! I'm being photoshopped to death! |
| 851 | * While Gad continues screaming, the Critic asks if Macaulay Culkin is in the tomb with them. The clip of Gad screaming is shown again before cutting to a clip from ''[[Film/HomeAlone Home Alone]]'' of Culkin's character screaming. |
| 852 | * When Gad dies after running towards a wall: |
| 853 | -->'''Critic:''' He died as he lived. Like [[Film/TheThreeStooges Curly Howard]]. |
| 854 | * "Why are you dressed up as [[WesternAnimation/GravityFalls Grunkle Stan]] and talking like Franken Berry?" |
| 855 | * Malcolm and Tamera not realizing there was [[Film/TheMummy1932 a Mummy Movie]] before Film/TheMummyTrilogy. |
| 856 | -->'''Malcolm:''' Well, people remember the Fraser one. You should talk about that. |
| 857 | -->'''Critic:''' Fine, I'll leave it to the audience. How many of you would- ''(Yellow text pops up saying 'Fraser One')'' GOD DAMNIT YOU UNCULTURED SWINE! |
| 858 | * The Critic constantly makes fun of the film's unrealistic special effects. |
| 859 | ** Similarly, the RunningGag of replaying Evie's statement that the beetles eat people ''slowly'', when the movie shows them devouring people very quickly. |
| 860 | * Playing clips of [[WesternAnimation/{{Anastasia}} Bartok]] over various scenes of Beni. |
| 861 | * The "derp count," counting the instances where each of Fraser's lines that in any other movie would be a witty one-liner are instead replaced by Fraser [[CaptainObvious stating the completely obvious]] and making a DullSurprise face. The count goes to well over a dozen. |
| 862 | * The ending: the Critic rejoices finally getting a chance to talk about the original ''Mummy'' movie... only to be interrupted by The Angry Video Game Nerd, who convinces Critic to collaborate with him, in order to redeem the "good Mummy films" (in reference to the 1932 and 1959 movies), by reviewing the 2017 re-remake next week. |
| 863 | [[/folder]] |
| 864 | |
| 865 | [[folder: The Mummy (2017)]] |
| 866 | * As a crossover with ''Cinemassacre's Monster Madness'', the intro combines the ''Treehouse of Horror'' parody with several details from the ''Monster Madness'' bumpers. |
| 867 | * The GraveHumor in this intro includes: |
| 868 | ** [[LargeHam Subtle]] Creator/JohnnyDepp |
| 869 | ** [[StillbornFranchise The Last Airbender 2]] |
| 870 | ** [[DroppedABridgeOnHim Bill]] |
| 871 | ** [[SubvertedTrope Just kidding, you can't kill Bill.]] |
| 872 | ** And finishing the intro is a CouchGag of Critic, Malcolm, Tamara, and Rob sitting on the couch, only for a random explosion to turn them into Super Mecha Death Christ. |
| 873 | * At the beginning, the Nerd says that this movie, in some respects, made things come full circle, confusing Critic: |
| 874 | -->'''Nerd''': Okay, it's a very [[BuffySpeak shittily]]-drawn circle, but it's still a circle. |
| 875 | -->'''Critic''': [[LampshadeHanging Did you just make up the word "shittily"?]] |
| 876 | -->'''Nerd''': My point is... |
| 877 | * While waiting for the inevitable JumpScare towards the police officers, Critic asks the Nerd to let him know when it happens while he's in the bathroom, so he can pretend to be interested. And when it does happen... |
| 878 | -->'''Nerd''': Happened. |
| 879 | -->'''Critic''': [[SarcasmMode Oh my god, it's so scary]]. |
| 880 | * The Critic scoffing at Russell Crowe calling Tom Cruise "a younger man." Tom Cruise is two years ''older'' than Russell Crowe! |
| 881 | -->'''Critic''': Can you kill your ego for just a few seconds!? |
| 882 | * Critic is disappointed that he ended Nostalgia-Ween with this film, so the Nerd gives him a DVD for his next review to make up for it, saying it's an adaptation of a beloved anime. Critic gladly walks off to get ready for the next review... unaware that the movie the Nerd gave him was ''Film/DragonballEvolution''. |
| 883 | [[/folder]] |
| 884 | |
| 885 | [[folder:Dragonball Evolution]] |
| 886 | * The opening skit has the Critic as Krillin, Creator/MasakoX as Goku, and Creator/LittleKuriboh as Vegeta. |
| 887 | ** And as their opening TakeThat, they asked how many people believed their low-budget opening skit was more faithful than the movie itself. |
| 888 | * The fact that Masako X and [=LittleKuriboh=] are collaborating with the Critic to review this movie... |
| 889 | -->'''Critic:''' A Japanese anime dubbed by Americans, now analyzed by two Brits!\ |
| 890 | '''[=LittleKuriboh=]:''' [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext It makes as much sense as anything else in this movie.]] |
| 891 | * The collaborating reviewers, at some point, liken Justin Chatwin's various expressions to [[ToiletHumour pants-ruining farts.]] It gets to the point where near the end of the film, they splice in the audio and then video of the diarrhea scene from ''Film/DumbAndDumber''. |
| 892 | -->'''Kyle Hebert''': Next time, on Dragonball: Metamucil! |
| 893 | * The Website/RottenTomatoes rating of this movie? "[[Over9000 It's over 9 perceeeeent!]]" [[note]]14, to be exact[[/note]] Followed by squashing the phone. |
| 894 | * The "[[CreatorsApathy Slumming-it Fairy]]", who provides [[ClicheStorm stock lines so that the writers can get a quicker payday]]. She even gives you "Stock parental advice" for no extra charge! |
| 895 | -->'''Fairy:''' Whatever. Can I get high on your couch? |
| 896 | -->'''Critic:''' Sure. ''({{beat}})'' This is only going to get worse, isn't it? |
| 897 | -->'''[=LittleKuriboh=]:''' Yes, it is. |
| 898 | -->'''Critic:''' ''(To the Fairy)'' Save some room on that couch. |
| 899 | * Malcolm comes in halfway through the review tearfully pointing a gun at the camera. The Critic has to talk him down from shooting the abomination of a film. |
| 900 | -->'''Critic:''' ''(after disarming Malcolm)'' You're doin' good. [[NoodleIncident Better than last time]]. ''(notices that Masako and [=LittleKuriboh=] are sitting in StunnedSilence)'' He's a big fan. |
| 901 | * After the MoodWhiplash scene of Goku cutting Master Roshi's laughter short by saying "My grandfather is dead", the trio and Malcolm [[BrickJoke join the Slumming-it Fairy on the couch]] [[INeedAFreakingDrink with joints]], with Malcolm's [[Film/WithnailAndI being a camberwell carrot]]. |
| 902 | -->'''Critic:''' It doesn't get rid of the pain...\ |
| 903 | '''Kuriboh:''' But it ''does'' make it hurt a little less. |
| 904 | ** Then they end up [[RunningGag returning to it two more times]]. |
| 905 | --->'''[=LittleKuriboh=]:''' We should just live here. |
| 906 | * Upon Goku sliding across the hood of a car on his head: |
| 907 | -->'''Masako X:''' Oh, c'mon, even Krillin wouldn't do that... by the way, is he even in this?\ |
| 908 | '''[=LittleKuriboh=]:''' No.\ |
| 909 | '''Masako X:''' Agh, piece of shit film...\ |
| 910 | '''Critic:''' ''[looking confused]'' Should I be angry at that?\ |
| 911 | '''[=LittleKuriboh=]:''' Yeah.\ |
| 912 | '''Critic:''' ''[{{suddenly shouting}}]'' I'm really angry!! |
| 913 | * The RunningGag of the narrator of ''Anime/DragonBallZ'', Creator/KyleHebert himself, doing an OnTheNext after certain scenes and changing the title of ''Dragon Ball'' every time according to the scene: |
| 914 | -->''[after Goku and Grandpa Gohan [[WireFu train while walking over wires]]]'' Next time, on ''Dragon Ball Marionettes''...\ |
| 915 | ''[after the first montage of adding fart sounds over Justin Chatwin's facial expressions]'' Next time, on ''Dragon Ball Metamucil''...\ |
| 916 | ''[after Goku catches some rocks on BulletTime, complete with ''[[Film/TheMatrix Matrix]]'' bending]'' Next time, on ''Dragon Ball... Seriously? '''SERIOUSLY?!?''''' |
| 917 | * Once the film brings up [[Film/TheLastAirbender airbending]], Kyle Hebert [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere decides to quit]]. |
| 918 | * The reaction to TheStinger, with [=LittleKuriboh=] excitedly hyping up for its dragging out of TheReveal (with him mentioning ''every'' step of the scene) while Critic and Masako X stare in disinterest. Then: |
| 919 | -->'''Critic:''' [[StillbornFranchise You're not happening, sequel.]]\ |
| 920 | '''[=LittleKuriboh=]:''' [[SuddenlyShouting RIGHT?! RIIIGHT?!]] [[PunctuatedForEmphasis THAT! WAS! SO!]] '''''STUPIIIIDD!!!''''' |
| 921 | ** Made even better by the fact that the Critic and Masako X are desperately corpsing. |
| 922 | * At the end of the review, [[BrickJoke it seems like Kyle Hebert comes back]], but it turns out to be [[WebVideo/HonestTrailers Jon Bailey]] -- ''then'' Hebert comes back, where it seems like the two are about to compete against each other to see who does the best voice-over... only for the reviewers to quickly hand Hebert the win by default. |
| 923 | * When the main characters go to a temple and find a monk played by Ernie Hudson: "So Chew the Fat, Harmony Starr, Surf Ninja and Elijah Wooden all travel to the Temple of [[EnsembleDarkhorse Underappreciated]] Film/{{Ghostbusters|1984}}..." |
| 924 | ** "Grandpa brings Goku back to life, [[Film/ThePrincessBride because he's only half-dead]], and they go to stop Piccolo after apologizing to Ernie Hudson for having him for only two minutes." |
| 925 | * NC mocks the circumstances of Grandpa Gohan's dying words: |
| 926 | -->'''NC:''' Now, if you'll excuse me, there's [[MentorOccupationalHazard a dead mentor poker game]] with [[Film/ANewHope Obi-Wan Kenobi]], [[Film/SpiderMan1 Uncle Ben]], [[Film/HarryPotterAndTheHalfBloodPrince Dumbledore]], and [[Franchise/{{Rocky}} Mickey]] I need to attend. And I'd better hurry, I hear [[Film/TheLordOfTheRings Gandalf]] might drop by briefly. |
| 927 | * "Oh! Um... meanwhile, on Bowser's airship, a villain named Piccolo is wondering why being hundreds of feet in the air gets him surprisingly little wind resistance." |
| 928 | * The use of the Kamehameha here is mocked for looking more like a screensaver. |
| 929 | -->'''[=LittleKuriboh=]:''' Oh no! He's turned into 3D Pipes! |
| 930 | * "Goku wakes up Roshi and makes the sad discovery that Chow Yun-fat found [[TakeThat a film worse than]] ''[[Film/PiratesOfTheCaribbeanAtWorldsEnd Pirates 3]]'' to appear in." |
| 931 | * When Goku gets surprise-attacked by Mai disguised as Chi-Chi, he sees Grandpa Gohan in his dream, who provides more Slumming-It Fairy-worthy motivational quotes. The Critic looks on in disbelief that Gohan actually said things he meant as a joke. |
| 932 | -->'''Critic:''' OH, COME ON! That was just a generalization! He actually says that?!\ |
| 933 | '''[=LittleKuriboh=]:''' Why not just have him say, "Plenty of fish in the sea!"\ |
| 934 | '''[=MasakoX=]:''' "Remember to drink your milk!"\ |
| 935 | '''[=LittleKuriboh=]:''' "Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow..."\ |
| 936 | '''[=MasakoX=]:''' "[[HashtagForLaughs #PopularPhrase]]" |
| 937 | [[/folder]] |
| 938 | |
| 939 | [[folder:Bangarang]] |
| 940 | * The Nostalgia Critic giving Dante Basco [[BlatantLies dignified footage]]... of [[CallBack him dressed as Zuko from his Top 11 Best Avatar Episodes review]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext shooting fire from his crotch while shouting "HONOR!".]] |
| 941 | * Crtic giving timestamps for the ObligatoryJoke for the ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender'' and ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDragonJakeLong'' references. |
| 942 | * Critic's reaction to when Rufio's shadow comes to life and grows spiked hair. |
| 943 | -->'''Critic:''' [[Anime/DragonBallZ Goku]]! Use your Super Saiyan power to keep me here!\ |
| 944 | ''[The shadow pulls out a sword]''\ |
| 945 | '''Critic:''' Or a sword, weird choice... Oh, wait! You're [[Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog Sonic]] from ''[[VideoGame/SonicAndTheBlackKnight Black Knight]]''! That's even better, I think! |
| 946 | * At the end of the review, Dante Basco calls the Critic's phone. Critic, remembering what happened last time he criticised something Basco was in, is quick to point out that he gave the film an overall positive review. Basco tells the Critic he is just calling to thank him for giving the film a fair shot, and assures him that he doesn't mind at all that he made fun of some of the more corny parts; before he, without skipping a beat, casually adds that the pressure-activated bomb he has placed under the Critic's desk is all down to the fact that he just doesn't like him. |
| 947 | [[/folder]] |
| 948 | |
| 949 | [[folder:War of the Commercials]] |
| 950 | * [[TitleOnlyOpening Just Go!]] |
| 951 | * The Critic imagining Mario pulling ''Literature/AClockworkOrange'' on Yoshi while watching the original [[VideoGame/SuperSmashBros Super Smash Bros.]] commercial. |
| 952 | -->'''NC as Mario:''' I was calm on the outside, but thinking all of the time. So now it was Yoshi the general, saying what to do and what not to do. Well, I viddied what to do. |
| 953 | ** Before this, he speculates that Mario just had a childhood flashback to a time Yoshi failed to protect him. |
| 954 | -->'''NC as Mario:''' Never forgive, asshole! |
| 955 | -->'''NC as DK:''' You're a dickhead, Mario! |
| 956 | -->'''NC as Mario:''' You're the dickhead! |
| 957 | * The Critic reacting with surprise and dread that the first Got Milk? commercial was directed by Creator/MichaelBay himself. |
| 958 | * The Critic being annoyed and perplexed by the Burger King promo for Purrtenders. |
| 959 | * The Critic is fairly certain The Eliminator was meant for [[FreudWasRight an alternate purpose]]. |
| 960 | * Critic freaking out over Big Mean Carl devouring Bean Bunny on a Muppet crumpet commercial. |
| 961 | --->'''Critic as Bunny''': Oh, God, no! I'm the last of my kind! Oh, sweet Jesus! That's where [[WesternAnimation/MuppetBabies1984 Skeeter]] went! |
| 962 | * Critic wondering if the Muppets would do a commercial if it rhymed with Muppet: |
| 963 | -->Logo: The Hump-It Condoms Show |
| 964 | -->'''Critic as Kermit''': [[Series/TheMuppets2015 Our show]] [[TakeThat bombed]], and so now we're doing this. YAAAAYYY! |
| 965 | ** And the ImagineSpot of Kermit in negotiations for the ad: |
| 966 | --->'''Kermit''': CRUMPETS?! GODDAMN CRUMPETS?! [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe Are you shitting me!?]] We're the freakin' MUPPETS, [[CrossesTheLineTwice not Teletubbies!]] |
| 967 | --->'''Larry''': I think if you consider - |
| 968 | --->'''Kermit''': NO! NO! MY GRANDFATHER WAS AN OLD JEWISH SOCK AND HE CAME TO THIS COUNTRY TO UPHOLD ''OUR'' THEFROG NAME! You don't get me better deals, you're letting a generation of FABRIC DOWN! |
| 969 | ---> '''Larry''': Look, if you just think about it - |
| 970 | ---> '''Kermit''': [[SarcasmMode Oh, I see. You want me to think about it.]] Well, think about this, Larry: My banjo Rainbow-Connecting to what's left of your BALLS! NO CRUMPETS! (''Slams speaker off'') Nancy? |
| 971 | --->'''Nancy''': (''Enters nervously'') Yes, Mr. F? |
| 972 | --->'''Kermit''': [[DrowningMySorrows Could you run down to Benny's and get me another six pack of Hoppin-Frog beers?]] |
| 973 | --->'''Nancy''': (''Nervously'') Don't you think you've had enough, Mr. F? |
| 974 | --->'''Kermit''': (''Slowly turns his head towards her'') I'll tell you when I've ''had enough''! (Throws empty beer bottle at Nancy, who yelps as it hits her) |
| 975 | --->'''Nancy''': (Angrily) You washed up ''bastard''! (Slams door closed) |
| 976 | --->'''Kermit''': (''Laying his head on the desk'') When did the rainbow fade?\ |
| 977 | '''Critic''': ... Wow. [[LampshadeHanging I got really depressing on that one]], didn't I? Well, here's hopefully a more chipper commercial to make you feel better. (''Mid-ad break comes up'') ...you were still thinking about Kermit, weren't you? [-[[MadeMyselfSad So was I]]-]. |
| 978 | * Critic gushing over a commercial about a dog sitting in the middle of a room... before a [[MoodWhiplash gun is pointed at the animal.]] Cue the flipping out. |
| 979 | --->'''Critic''': What in fluffy shit was that!? Was this a terrorist hostage video for Petsmart? |
| 980 | ** The organization’s logo, RSPCA appears at the end of the commercial, and Critic looks it up. After doing some research, he finds out that this was actually a PSA from Britain. |
| 981 | --->'''Critic:''' '''''[[SuddenlyShouting OH, OF COURSE!]]''''' When you’re doing crumpets, you’re all [[Franchise/TheMuppets Muppets]] and dancing, but when you’re doing a PSA, ''YOU’RE KILLING DOGS!'' '''''[[CallBack NEW CANADA!]]''''' |
| 982 | --->'''Critic''': I would think this is a [[DarkerandEdgier gritty reboot]] of ''Film/CatsAndDogs'' directed by Creator/ChristopherNolan. |
| 983 | ** He then demands another commercial be shown to take his mind off the RSPCA one. [[ColdTurkeysAreEverywhere Said commercial is for]] ''WesternAnimation/PoundPuppies''. |
| 984 | * With the Mickey Mouse Talking Phone, the Critic imagines what it'd be like with other Disney options, including WesternAnimation/{{Bambi}}, [[WesternAnimation/TheHunchbackOfNotreDameDisney Judge Frollo]], the entire cast of ''Film/SongOfTheSouth'', and the crows from ''WesternAnimation/{{Dumbo}}''. Bonus points for the father in the ImagineSpot being portrayed by Malcolm, especially when it comes to the latter two, and the outcome of him smashing the Talking Phone violently after calling the crows. In the commercial itself, the Critic remarks that the characters don't actually sound like themselves at all: WesternAnimation/MickeyMouse sounds like "a drunken old lady shouting obscenities", [[WesternAnimation/SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarfs Snow White]] sounds like just another woman (which should be enough to fool the kids at their young age), and WesternAnimation/DonaldDuck sounds like one of the Martians in ''Film/MarsAttacks''. |
| 985 | -->'''Critic:''' Three out of three wrong! That's pretty impressive. |
| 986 | * The Balzac commercial. Full of mondegreen fun. Followed by the Ball Busters commercial. The Critic has to do his damnedest to not make a perverted joke. |
| 987 | ** He comments on the [[LampshadedDoubleEntendre the knowing wink]] the actress gives the camera when her husband calls her "a real Ball Buster!" The Critic also takes issue with just how much the narrator ''savors'' the game's name. |
| 988 | ** He has to walk out on the Oozinator commercial. He doesn't say a word, but he does edit it with erotic music, [[CallBack "your kids and your Johnson", and the Wonder Boner]]. |
| 989 | --->'''Critic''': There. [[ExactWords Not a word]]. Final verdict: Oozinator is a fine commercial, it just has the misfortune of [[InnocentInnuendo coming across the wrong way]]. I mean... ''dammit''! |
| 990 | * The ''VideoGame/PolePosition'' commercial gets the Critic so hyped up, he decides to reenact the skit by Announcer!Doug sending Rob back in time to fight a T. rex, Malcolm to fight a skeleton, Jim into an active volcano, and Barney to suffocate in the vacuum of space. He calms down when Tamara offers him a slice of apple pie, and is so stricken with guilt that he confesses to her that he killed everyone. |
| 991 | ** The Critic is very disturbed at how his skits are getting. |
| 992 | --->'''Critic:''' [[LampshadeHanging Wow...again, we went really dark on that one...Really dark!]] I'm the Nostalgia Critic, and...I don't know why I look forward to this every year! That got sick...really sick! |
| 993 | [[/folder]] |
| 994 | [[folder:Super Mario Bros.: The Anime]] |
| 995 | * [[CallBack Similar to his editorial on]] ''WesternAnimation/BatmanMaskOfThePhantasm'', at the beginning, the Critic has a similar reaction when he is about to look into the first ''Super Mario Bros.'' movie, and inevitably, [[Film/SuperMarioBros1993 the infamous]] [[Recap/TheNostalgiaCriticS1E8 live-action movie]] is displayed. |
| 996 | -->[[BigNo "NOOOOOOOOOO]][[NoJustNoReaction OOOOOOOOOOOOO]][[TakeThat OOOOOOOOOO!!!]] [[MoodWhiplash ...Believe it or not,]] [[OlderThanTheyThink there was a Super Mario Bros. movie]] ''[[OlderThanTheyThink before]]'' [[TakeThat that one."]] |
| 997 | * When a Goomba speaks in a [[CreepyMonotone strangely calm male voice]]: |
| 998 | -->'''Critic:''' Okay, I know this is a corny fandub, but that is the most chill and laid back Goomba! |
| 999 | * The Critic is vexed when Mario hits a block, causing lots of cup ramen labeled with the brothers' faces to pop out, which the two start eating. |
| 1000 | [[/folder]] |
| 1001 | |
| 1002 | [[folder:Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa]] |
| 1003 | * The first episode of the Christmas season starts off with the Critic proving his dominance over the holiday by killing the last Christmassians... and [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone immediately regretting it]]. |
| 1004 | -->'''Critic''': I think we should stop [[SerialEscalation trying to top ourselves every year]] with Christmas greetings. [[{{Understatement}} Getting a little out of hand]]... [[MonsterIsAMommy I think that thing was pregnant]]. So we get to live with ''that''. |
| 1005 | * Critic calling [[DerangedAnimation this special]] the Christmas version of ''WesternAnimation/{{Foodfight}}'' and the characters rejected ''WesternAnimation/ReBoot'' sex dolls. |
| 1006 | * The Critic telling the viewers [[BlatantLies not to be concerned about the blood running out of their eyes.]] |
| 1007 | * "After snapping his neck from looking up, [[SickeningCrunch *crunch*]] he [Ricky] gets [[SlasherSmile the smile of a serial killer]] looking at all the toys in the store." |
| 1008 | * He points out that the school sign [[GrammarCorrectionGag misspelled "excellence" as "excelence"]]. |
| 1009 | -->'''Critic''': Isn't that a freakin' metaphor! You can't spell "excellence", you can't achieve excellence! (''One of UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump's misspelled Tweets pops into view asking "Side joke?"'') Nah, [[BottomOfTheBarrelJoke too easy]]. |
| 1010 | * (In the tune of Dire Straits' "Money For Nothing") "I want my, I want my, I want my M60!" |
| 1011 | * "Drunk Face Or Kill Face?" |
| 1012 | ** Upon correctly guessing "Drunk Face", Tamara asks why [[INeedAFreakingDrink they haven't started on theirs yet]]. |
| 1013 | ** Upon correctly guessing "Kill Face", the Critic hands Tamara his keys with instructions [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere to go start the car]] as they all keep their eyes on the murderous creature on-screen. |
| 1014 | * At one point, he says the special would look better if they simply played ''VideoGame/TheSims'' and talked over it. How bad is it? The Critic spends the commercial break staring at the sun so he'll see something better. |
| 1015 | * "You know, I'm not gonna lie, I really thought VideoGame/ParappaTheRapper's origin story would be more interesting than this." |
| 1016 | * Critic trying to translate Ricky's great-grandma's rambling. He compares it to a dolphin reciting the [[Franchise/EvilDead Necronomicon]]. |
| 1017 | ** "Every time a minute of this plays, a Pixar animator kills himself! '''WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?!''' " |
| 1018 | ** Later, he does some {{Backmasking}} magic to discover she's really telling him that the film contains hints to a massive conspiracy... and he decides [[IgnoranceIsBliss it's better to remain ignorant]] than watch it again. |
| 1019 | * The Critic losing it after seeing the "guard dogs". |
| 1020 | * The Critic calling Smithy's sandwich Film/{{Zardoz}}. |
| 1021 | * "Grandma died, get the shovel". |
| 1022 | * The Critic creeped out by the characters' lack of eyelids. |
| 1023 | * Critic dubbing over [[ActorAllusion Eric]] with [[WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries the Joker's voice]]. Earlier, he dubbed in the "We Are Nintendo" ad's creepy voices. |
| 1024 | * Critic's amazement that the special ends with Eric shouting "SHUT THAT DOOR" and puts it in other (better) Christmas specials (specifically, ''Home Alone'', ''How The Grinch Stole Christmas'', and ''A Christmas Carol''). He also ends the review with it. |
| 1025 | * The Top 3 Reactions to this special are all hilarious: |
| 1026 | ** #3: Someone finishes the special, only to open a picture of Walt Disney and look at it in despair while playing [[WesternAnimation/ToyStory2 "When She Loved Me"]]. |
| 1027 | ** #2: A woman chews out Critic for making her watch the special, complete with a QuestionableCasting reaction to all the big-name voice actors in it. |
| 1028 | ** #1: A man [[INeedAFreakingDrink drinks from a bottle of wine]] before breaking into tears. |
| 1029 | [[/folder]] |
| 1030 | |
| 1031 | [[folder:A Muppet Family Christmas]] |
| 1032 | * The special opens with the Muppets singing "We Need a Little Christmas", which the Critic thinks is "the only Christmas song legally allowed to be played as a polka." |
| 1033 | * "Is 'Wocka-Wocka' to bears what 'Shalom' is to Jewish people?" |
| 1034 | * Critic is shocked that Swedish Chef is refereed to as such, even by his friends. He then proceeds to provide subtitles to what he thinks he's really saying |
| 1035 | --> '''Fozzie Bear:''' Swedish Chef! |
| 1036 | --> '''Swedish Chef:''' It's Sven, you asshole! (He slips and falls over) Shit! |
| 1037 | ** Later, when he tries to cook Doc's dog, Sprocket: |
| 1038 | ---> '''Doc:''' He is NOT a Christmas turkey! |
| 1039 | ---> '''Swedish Chef:''' Don't make me go Seventh Seal on your meatballs! |
| 1040 | ** When the Christmas Turkey tries to show him another bird to cook: |
| 1041 | ---> '''Christmas Turkey:''' Look at THIS! |
| 1042 | ---> (He shows him Big Bird in the living room, accompanied by a rumble of thunder) |
| 1043 | ---> '''Swedish Chef:''' IKEA'S NUTSACK! Ingmar Bergman Volvo Moose Meat! |
| 1044 | ** But eventually, Big Bird gives him a present, convincing him to cook something else: |
| 1045 | ---> '''Big Bird:''' Tell me, exactly what are you going to fix for Christmas dinner? |
| 1046 | ---> '''Swedish Chef:''' Uh... Ooh! Man. Sweet, buttery, delicious man. |
| 1047 | ---> '''Big Bird:''' My absolute favorite! |
| 1048 | * The interactions between Michael Caine and a Critic operated Kermit the Frog. |
| 1049 | ** Speaking of Michael Caine, Walter Banasiak shows up at the end playing Caine to torment the Critic. |
| 1050 | [[/folder]] |
| 1051 | |
| 1052 | [[folder:Home Alone 2: Lost in New York]] |
| 1053 | * The niece that Aunt Despair dropped off at the Critic's office (and he subsequently gave to Chester A. Bum) in the ''Balto'' review? She's actually pretty well-adjusted with her new family. |
| 1054 | * After Kevin records his Uncle singing in the shower. |
| 1055 | -->'''Uncle Frank:''' Get out of here you nosy little pervert or I'm gonna slap you silly!\ |
| 1056 | '''Critic:''' Ironically, Macaulay Culkin might be the only person on Hollywood not told that yet. ''[[[TakeThat Pictures of]] Creator/KevinSpacey, Matt Lauer, Harvey Weinstein, Creator/AlFranken, Charlie Rose, and Creator/DustinHoffman pop up]'' |
| 1057 | * "This is why you're Time Magazine's Person of the Year." |
| 1058 | * This exchange: |
| 1059 | -->'''Harry:''' We got busted last time because we underestimated that little bundle of misery. |
| 1060 | -->'''Marv:''' This aint like the last time. |
| 1061 | -->'''Crtic:''' [[RecycledPremise Clearly you have not been watching this movie.]] |
| 1062 | * The Critic is trying throughout the review not to make Uncle Lies and Aunt Despair's family fight with Chester's as they wait for the meal to be delivered: |
| 1063 | ** The beginning: |
| 1064 | --->'''Aunt Despair:''' ''[gives Malcolm a bottle of gin, dropping her cigarette in it in the process]'' Here you go. ''[pats him on the head]'' |
| 1065 | --->'''Chester:''' Oh, now, that's no way to treat a child! |
| 1066 | --->'''Doe:''' Yeah! Why don't you raise yours like we raise ours? ''[hugs Little Girl]'' |
| 1067 | --->'''Little Girl:''' Why, I'm pretty sure they did raise me before I got abandoned in the Balto review. |
| 1068 | --->'''Aunt Despair:''' Mmm, no, that wasn't you. |
| 1069 | --->'''Little Girl:''' Pretty sure it was. |
| 1070 | --->'''Uncle Lies:''' No, we remember the children we abandon. |
| 1071 | --->'''Chester:''' Do you? |
| 1072 | --->'''Critic:''' ''[rubs his hands]'' Well, I don't know about you, but I sure am excited for our Christmas meal. |
| 1073 | --->'''Malcolm:''' Yeah, where is it? We've been waiting forever. |
| 1074 | --->'''Uncle Lies:''' Now, son, don't make us abandon you like we did her. |
| 1075 | --->'''Doe:''' But you just said- |
| 1076 | --->'''Critic:''' The meal's taking a while, because it's being specially delivered. Trust me, you only want an expert to deal with something so perfectly Christmassy! |
| 1077 | --->'''Chester:''' Well, as long as it's edible, I'm good. |
| 1078 | --->'''Doe:''' Honey... |
| 1079 | --->'''Chester:''' Okay, it doesn't have to be edible! ''[Chester, Doe and Little Girl laugh]'' |
| 1080 | --->'''Aunt Despair:''' That explains why your kid looks like she ate chimney. |
| 1081 | --->'''Little Girl:''' ''[still smiling]'' It tasted like dying. |
| 1082 | --->'''Doe:''' Well, at least we know where our kid is! |
| 1083 | --->'''Aunt Despair:''' What are you even talking a-- ''[slowly turns her head to notice Malcolm is not in his chair]'' Oh, now I get it. |
| 1084 | --->'''Uncle Lies:''' Hey, boy! Stop eating that glue and save some for me! |
| 1085 | --->'''Malcolm:''' ''[offscreen; drowsily]'' [[TastesLikePurple I feel colors]]... |
| 1086 | --->'''Chester:''' Parents of the year. ''[crosses arms]'' |
| 1087 | --->'''Doe:''' You won't even share! |
| 1088 | --->'''Aunt Despair:''' You said something over there, pubic wig? |
| 1089 | --->'''Critic:''' ''[interrupts them by grabbing a remote]'' Hey! Why don't we watch a movie? ''[Malcolm sits back, still junked up]'' The perfect Christmas interaction where we don't have to have any interaction! |
| 1090 | ** The plane scene: |
| 1091 | --->'''Aunt Despair:''' I have some theories on why 9/11 really happened. |
| 1092 | --->'''Doe:''' Really? |
| 1093 | --->'''Chester:''' Do tell. |
| 1094 | --->'''Critic''' Oh, look! Another possibly debatable funny scene! |
| 1095 | ** UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump's cameo: |
| 1096 | --->'''Malcolm:''' Auntie, isn't that a man we should be talking about? |
| 1097 | --->'''Critic:''' Nope! No! No! There is no reason to talk about him at all! |
| 1098 | --->'''Chester:''' We feel like that guy got into poli-mi-tics. |
| 1099 | --->'''Doe:''' Surely, there is no harm in discussing poli-mi-tics over the holidays! |
| 1100 | --->'''Uncle Lies:''' I completely agree. I'll start- |
| 1101 | --->'''Critic:''' Tim Curry, save the day! |
| 1102 | ---> ''[the hotel's concierge Mr. Hector (Tim Curry) is first shown as the Hallelujah Chorus plays out]'' |
| 1103 | --->'''Little Girl:''' ''[gasps]'' Ooh, we love him! |
| 1104 | --->'''Chester:''' Me, too! |
| 1105 | --->'''Aunt Despair:''' For every one star of a movie he's in, he's the reason it got that one star. |
| 1106 | --->'''Critic:''' ''[smiles]'' Tim Curry. We can all agree on him. |
| 1107 | ** When hoboes appear: |
| 1108 | --->'''Aunt Despair:''' Oh, no, we have some definite opinions on homeless people. |
| 1109 | --->'''Chester:''' ''[crosses arms]'' Oh, do you? ''[Little Girl gulps nervously]'' |
| 1110 | --->'''Uncle Lies:''' Oh, yes. All their problems can be solved super easily. |
| 1111 | --->'''Doe:''' Super easy, huh?! |
| 1112 | --->'''Malcolm:''' I know! Let's talk about it in great detail! |
| 1113 | --->'''Critic:''' ''[singing to the tune of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"]'' Weeeeeee... Christmas song, Christmas song, / I forgot the words because I'm nervous, / I'm singing this to distract you, / So is it working? |
| 1114 | --->'''Doe:''' I suppose so. |
| 1115 | --->'''Uncle Lies:''' Go on. |
| 1116 | --->'''Critic:''' ''[continues singing]'' I'm...going back to watching ''Home Alone 2'', / Because it's something I want to do now... ''[speaks normally]'' so that...that...that's what I'm doing. |
| 1117 | --->'''Chester:''' ''[sniffles]'' That was beautiful. ''[he and Doe join their hands]'' |
| 1118 | --->'''Doe:''' He has a real gift! |
| 1119 | * Turns out Santa Christ is the one delivering the Christmas meal. |
| 1120 | ** When he first appears, Critic tries to spare him of the hassle he's experiencing |
| 1121 | --->'''Santa Christ:''' Well, aren't you going to invite me in for dinner?\ |
| 1122 | '''Critic:''' You don't wanna be a part of this.\ |
| 1123 | '''Santa Christ:''' I believe you.\ |
| 1124 | '''Critic:''' Flee this gingerbread house of angst!\ |
| 1125 | '''Santa Christ:''' Ho-ho. |
| 1126 | ** When he returns, the two families are in a full boil argument about homelessness. Critic braces for impact.....and it turns out that [[StereotypeFlip Chester and Doe]] are the ones advocating for the homeless to get jobs while Uncle Lies and Aunt Despair believe they need support and care to get back on their feet, and then they [[AntiClimax agree to disagree with no malice]]. Critic is shocked and relieved that it turned out fine, until... |
| 1127 | ** Critic reveals the treat as Christmas Crunch, which both families agree that isn't good. This [[BerserkButton sets the Critic off]] on [[OverlyLongGag an overly long rant]], phrased like a religious rant. |
| 1128 | --->'''Critic:''' HOW DARE YOU?! HOW DARE YOU BLASPHEMY CHRISTMAS CRUNCH?! HAVE YOU NO HEART?! HAVE YOU NO SOUL?! WELL, I'LL TELL YOU ALL THE ONLY PLACE YOU CAN FIND THAT BEAUTY, IF NOT IN CHRISTMAS CRUNCH! YOU CAN FIND IT [[CurseCutShort UP YOUR-]]\ |
| 1129 | ''[Ten minutes later]''\ |
| 1130 | '''Critic:''' MONSTERS! MONSTERS, ALL OF YOU! YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO EAT CHRISTMAS CRUNCH'S PROSTATE! A POX ON YOU-\ |
| 1131 | ''Aunt Despair hands Malcolm [[INeedAFreakingDrink her bottle of liquor]]''\ |
| 1132 | ''[Two hours later]''\ |
| 1133 | '''Critic:''' "LOOK AT ME, I UNDERSTAND CHRISTMAS BECAUSE I DON'T EAT CHRISTMAS CRUNCH!" YOU SATANS! YOU CHRISTMAS SATANS!\ |
| 1134 | ''[Twenty-four hours later]''\ |
| 1135 | '''Critic:''' YOU ARE JUDAS'S SHIT! THAT'S WHAT YOU BETRAYERS ARE, JUDAS'S SHIT! I HOPE YOU ROT FOR ALL ETERNITY ''ESPECIALLY THE CHILDREN''! '''SHAME'''!!!! |
| 1136 | * His count whenever Tim Curry makes a word amazing, followed by a "ding!" sound with Curry's face saying "YOUR WORD HAS BEEN CURRIED" and his ''It'' "WA-HA!" laugh in the background. |
| 1137 | * The review ends with everyone passing out, the Critic realizing he had kept everyone up for 24 hours, suggesting everyone take a nap, and collapsing down on the table. Where [[CallBack "SHUT THAT DOOR"]] returns. |
| 1138 | [[/folder]] |
| 1139 | |
| 1140 | [[folder:Star Wars: The Last Jedi]] |
| 1141 | * [[ALongTimeAgoInAGalaxyFarFarAway "You know when and where..."]] |
| 1142 | * Chris Stuckmann walks into the opening crawl, stalling it. |
| 1143 | * Chris runs into the Critic and WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob, [[CallBack who have just finished their]] ''Force Awakens'' review. Chris claims that it makes no sense, because Stuckmann finished doing the ''Rogue One'' review with him. He questions how that could possibly make chronological sense. Critic claims that everything has remained exactly the same as he reveals his bald head while Snob shows off his wedding ring. |
| 1144 | * The RunningGag of the importance of the [[RidiculouslyCuteCritter Porgs]]. Outrighting shaming Chris for "not getting it", ironically near the end, Snob questions a scene that the Porgs were apparently responsible for which Chris points out. |
| 1145 | --> '''Snob''': My god, I've questioned the Porgs. I've brought shame to us all. |
| 1146 | --> ''(He prepares to shoot himself but NC stops him)'' |
| 1147 | --> '''NC''': No! That is not the way of the Porgs ''(The Porg chitters something)'' Oh ''it is''? Oh well go ahead then. ''(Snob goes to resume)'' No, no don't. Han has died enough. |
| 1148 | * Stuckmann says the opening crawl will add nothing. He's right, so it just puts the Meow Mix lyrics for filler. |
| 1149 | -->'''Critic:''' Alright, let's just get on with it. |
| 1150 | -->'''Snob:''' Well, wait, I always wondered what the last lyric was... |
| 1151 | * Stuckmann going [[LargeHam full tilt on the ham]] as General Hux during the sketch portions. Even moreso than the actor that plays him in the movie. |
| 1152 | * The exchanges of Snoke (played by the Cinema Snob) with Hux and Kylo Ren at the beginning: |
| 1153 | -->'''Hux''': [[OhCrap Lord Snoke]]! I assure you [[EvilIsHammy my hammy overreacting]] will not be thwarted next time! ''Please'' [[TemptingFate don't use your Force]]... |
| 1154 | -->'''Snoke''': [[BadBoss To do this]]? (''starts Force-hitting Hux against the ground, which he keeps doing while talking casually'') Yeah, I'm not feeling it, buddy. You'd think you had your stuff together after our planet-destroying eightball blew up! |
| 1155 | -->'''Hux''': I understand, your Snokiness, but... we have a way of tracking them to lightspeed! |
| 1156 | -->'''Snoke''': How, that's cool. [[FridgeLogic You'd think with me being so powerful, I'd sense that...]] |
| 1157 | -->'''Hux''': Or maybe [[MundaneSolution reading a report on your desk every once in a while...]] (''gets force-hit again'') |
| 1158 | -->'''Snoke''': No, I got apprentice shit to do. Speaking of, where's [[ActorAllusion that douche bag from "Girls"?]] |
| 1159 | -->'''Kylo Ren''' (''pushing Hux away''): Yeah? |
| 1160 | -->'''Snoke''': Three things... |
| 1161 | -->'''Kylo Ren''': Yup? |
| 1162 | -->'''Snoke''': Kill your mother... |
| 1163 | -->'''Kylo Ren''': Got it! |
| 1164 | -->'''Snoke''': Ditch the pointless mask... |
| 1165 | -->'''Kylo Ren''' (''now maskless''): Gone! |
| 1166 | -->'''Snoke''': ... [[{{Fanservice}} And do a shirtless scene for the ladies]]. |
| 1167 | -->'''Kylo Ren''': ... You have watched "Girls", right? |
| 1168 | -->'''Snoke''' (''eye-rolling''): Unwillingly... |
| 1169 | -->'''Kylo Ren''': Girlfriend? |
| 1170 | -->'''Snoke''': ''Of course'', girlfriend! |
| 1171 | * Playing the Superman theme over Leia flying in space. |
| 1172 | -->'''Snob:''' Oh, come on, Critic, show what really happened. |
| 1173 | -->'''Critic:''' [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer That IS what really happened!]] She goes [[MemeticMutation "Shooting Star"]] on our asses! |
| 1174 | ** The lead into that when Leia has just been blasted into space is just as funny: |
| 1175 | -->'''Stuckmann:''' I'd be lying if I said this wasn't a little awkward given this is [[HarsherInHindsight Carrie Fisher's last film]]. |
| 1176 | -->'''NC:''' [[OhWait Oh trust me!]] It gets even more awkward than that! |
| 1177 | ** The music then switches to "Shooting Stars" and we get this humdinger: |
| 1178 | -->'''NC''': Even if you're able to overlook [[RealLifeWritesThePlot Fisher's passing and that it looks like her cold corpse come back to life]]... |
| 1179 | -->'''Snob''': [[DudeNotFunny THAT'S A PRETTY BIG OVERLOOK]]! |
| 1180 | ** The scenario they theorize to how Leia learned to do that. |
| 1181 | -->'''Luke:''' So, if by some rare chance you're out [[Film/{{Gravity}} Sandra Bullock-ing]] in space, just remember: Hold your hand out to the nearest ship, the Force has got your back. |
| 1182 | -->'''Leia:''' That's uncomfortably specific, but good to know. |
| 1183 | -->'''Luke:''' Welcome to my world. |
| 1184 | * Luke thinks [[Creator/HarrisonFord Han]] gave up ''Star Wars'' sequels to do ''[[Film/BladeRunner2049 Blade Runner]]'' [[Film/BladeRunner2049 sequels]]. |
| 1185 | * The three speed settings on Hux's ship are [[Film/{{Spaceballs}} Light Speed, Ridiculous Speed, and Ludicrous Speed]]. |
| 1186 | * When Holdo is first introduced, we briefly get an image of [[Series/GameOfThrones Hodor]] standing on the ship. |
| 1187 | -->'''CS:''' "Boy! THAT would've been a different movie!...." |
| 1188 | * Holdo is described as being less like an admiral and more like a working mom trying to stay calm around her teenage son. |
| 1189 | -->'''Poe:''' We need some answers! We need to know what's going on! |
| 1190 | -->'''Holdo:''' (smiling and speaking in a slow, didactic tone) I hear you, but I need you to trust my decision. |
| 1191 | -->'''Poe:''' How? How can we trust you if we don't even know what you're doing? |
| 1192 | -->'''Holdo:''' I need to keep things from you so that you can learn a lesson. |
| 1193 | -->'''Poe:''' We don't need to learn any lessons! What we need to do is- |
| 1194 | -->'''Holdo:''' GO TO YOUR ROOM! |
| 1195 | -->'''Poe:''' YOU'RE THE WORST VICE ADMIRAL EVER! |
| 1196 | * Luke explaining to Rey how Kylo went to the Dark Side. Here we see him about to kill Kylo, who's snuggled up with a "doggy" plushie. He decides against it but Kylo wakes up and sees Luke holding the ignited lightsaber and giving an awkward, embarrassed smile to him. |
| 1197 | * Likewise some of the more important scenes being interrupted by Finn and Rose scenes which the critics complain are dragging out the movie (in which they literally dragged it out). |
| 1198 | --> '''Stuckmann''': Haven't you dragged enough?! |
| 1199 | * Poe trying to mutiny on Holdo and both commenting how odd no one's reacting to it. |
| 1200 | ** Likewise when it's revealed that Leia was giving order to Holdo. [[PoorCommunicationKills Poe asks why she didn't just bother to tell anyone else and avoid a mutiny]]. [[CouldHaveAvoidedThisPlot They don't really have an answer for it]]. Ending with Holdo sprouting "SHUT UP!" |
| 1201 | * Yoda the JiveTurkey. |
| 1202 | -->''Yoda:'' "Wassup, L-Dog?" |
| 1203 | * The scene where Rey is brought in by Kylo to Snoke. Critic, Stuckman and Snob all comment on his weird fashion choice. |
| 1204 | --> '''Stuckmann''': What is up with that playboy mansion robe?! |
| 1205 | --> '''NC''': Yeah, Snoke is looking less like an intimidating villain and more like a crumpled up drawing of [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Quagmire.]] |
| 1206 | ** They also point out the similarities to ''Film/ReturnOfTheJedi'' of the scene with Snoke literally pulling out a binder of ''The Return of the Jedi'' script and pointing out familiar scenes from it. Right up until... |
| 1207 | --> '''Snoke''': And page 10C, Scene 12. |
| 1208 | --> '''Rey''': Where you're going to kill me, but your apprentice stabs you in the back. |
| 1209 | --> '''Snoke''': Right on... [[ExplainExplainOhCrap Oh, wait! Skip that one...]] ''(Gets stabbed by Kylo)'' |
| 1210 | ** Followed by Snoke lamenting his short role in the grand scheme of things. |
| 1211 | --> '''Snoke''': Who the hell even ''was'' I? Would it have killed someone to give me ''one'' sentence of backstory? ''(Dies)'' |
| 1212 | * Following the above, we have the red guards, voiced like ''WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButthead'', one of them is about to call for backup but is convinced by his fellow guard that they can take the two... only for both to instantly get beheaded. |
| 1213 | * The touted "Finn vs. Phasma" scene. |
| 1214 | --> '''Phasma'''': ''(After Holdo crashes into the ship they're on just as they start fighting)'' Is that all I ''get''?! I'm [[Creator/GwendolineChristie Gwendoline Goddamn Christie]]! I'm fifth least likely to die on ''Series/GameOfThrones''! |
| 1215 | --> '''Finn''': Sorry, we had to cut it short. |
| 1216 | --> '''Phasma''': For what?! |
| 1217 | --> '''Finn''': For [[SuddenlyShouting BORING CASINO FILLER!!!]] |
| 1218 | --> '''Phasma''': ''(Falls into the flames)'' LAME! |
| 1219 | ** Even Finn thinks that was anti-climatic. |
| 1220 | --> '''Finn''': We need some ''real'' surprises in this. |
| 1221 | --> '''Rose''': Right? |
| 1222 | * The reunion scene has Leia and Chewbacca. |
| 1223 | -->'''Leia:''' There, I hugged him, you happy, you weirdos? ... And Greedo shot first. OOOOOOOOHHHH! |
| 1224 | * Finn tries for a HeroicSacrifice but is stopped by Rose. They have a supposed DiedInYourArmsTonight moment... which confuses Finn since their relationship wasn't really made clear. Even citing that his friendship with ''Poe'' was more developed. Poe actually calls to thank him for that before telling him to bring her back to see if she's sequel material. |
| 1225 | --> '''Rose''': ''(Suddenly sprouts awake after being unconscious)'' Hey! |
| 1226 | --> '''Finn''': Oh stop complaining, you're set for life at conventions. ''(Drags her off)'' |
| 1227 | * Luke arriving in hopes of reconciling with Kylo Ren. |
| 1228 | --> '''Luke''': Kylo Ren, I have come to apologize for failing you. Know that even if you were to blow me to smithereens, you would only increase the pain that you fee... ''([=AT-ATs=] instantly open fire on him)'' |
| 1229 | ** After which in the cockpits of one of the vehicles |
| 1230 | --> '''Hux''': HA! Operation "Blow Him To Smithereens" was a complete success. You can ask him yourself! ''(Both Kylo and he see that Luke survived)'' GAH! |
| 1231 | ** Kylo ''Anime/{{Naruto}}'' charging at Luke, who steps aside and lets him crash offscreen like something out of a cartoon. |
| 1232 | ** After it's revealed to be a projection... |
| 1233 | --> '''Luke''': ''(Laughs)'' [[Film/TotalRecall1990 You think this is the real Quaid?]] |
| 1234 | ** Rey telekinetically lifts some rocks off Poe and Finn... and then nearly drops them back when they prematurely start celebrating. |
| 1235 | * At the end of the review, Snob shoots the Porg that was flying the ship. Chris asks who's gonna fly it now? |
| 1236 | --> '''NC''': C'mon, how hard can it be? |
| 1237 | --> ''(Instant GilliganCut to [[TakeThat the ship crashed in the now burning White House]] and the three standing in front of it)'' |
| 1238 | --> '''Snob''': So, I'll see you in UsefulNotes/{{Mexico}}? |
| 1239 | --> '''NC''': Yeah. |
| 1240 | --> '''Stuckmann''': See you there. |
| 1241 | --> ''(They all run off in different directions)'' |
| 1242 | [[/folder]] |
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