| 1 | !!Sub-Pages: |
| 2 | [[index]] |
| 3 | * [[Funny/SovietWombleArma Arma Videos]] |
| 4 | * [[Funny/SovietWombleCounterStrike CS:GO Videos]] |
| 5 | [[/index]] |
| 6 | |
| 7 | |
| 8 | ---- |
| 9 | [[foldercontrol]] |
| 10 | |
| 11 | [[folder:[=Alien: Isolation=]]] |
| 12 | !! '''Part 1''' |
| 13 | * As Womble marvels at the shower, [[FunWithSubtitles several (fake) review quotes praise it.]] All except for [[FreezeFrameBonus one]] (also fake). |
| 14 | -->''1/10 [[StrawFeminist The presence of a shower is the developer's misogynistic attempt]] to [[EveryoneIsJesusInPurgatory turn the protagonist into a sexual object.]] [[TakeThat Keep sending me money.]]''\ |
| 15 | -- '''[[WebVideo/FeministFrequency Anita Sarkeesian]]''' |
| 16 | * '''Ripley''': "Hello? Anyone here?" |
| 17 | -->'''Soviet''': No one's here! [[TemptingFate We're safe, the game's safe, everything's fine.]] |
| 18 | * At one point, Womble keeps misreading some graffiti. |
| 19 | -->'''Soviet''': Tomorrow no together future. ({{Beat}}) Tomorrow together, no future. Ha! Fucking Hell, these people, they can't write properly. [[FunWithSubtitles (Is the problem the reader?)]] |
| 20 | * While trying to hide from other survivors, he hides in the air vent, gets confused, [[EpicFail and climbs out the point where he got in,]] [[TooDumbToLive where the survivors are waiting for him.]] |
| 21 | ** In his second attempt at that segment, [[TemptingFate he claims that the first survivor's first bullet is scripted and can't hit him.]] Guess what happens. |
| 22 | * Womble frantically looks for a save station. |
| 23 | -->'''Niko''' (Through Steam Messaging): Womble, calm down mate.\ |
| 24 | '''Soviet''': Shut up, Niko! |
| 25 | * Womble's DelayedReaction halfway through the video: He walks into a baggage terminal after narrowly escaping from homicidal android guards, ''right past'' an air vent with tell-tale [[DroolHello Xenomorph drool]] coming from it to instead loot a nearby suitcase for supplies, while [[FunWithSubtitles a counter appears in the corner of the screen, counting down from 6.]] When it reaches 0, only ''then'' does Womble turn around and finally notice the drool...and promptly loses all mental composure he'd managed to build up since the android incident. |
| 26 | !! '''Part 2''' |
| 27 | * While Soviet nervously hums, a subtitle appears that calls it "The 'Everything Is Fine' Song" and notes that it was "#3 UK Charts for 2 weeks" in 2013. |
| 28 | * Soviet locks the door in one room and hides in a locker. He then gets out when he thinks it's safe... |
| 29 | -->'''Quebec''' (Through Steam Messaging): [[NowYouTellMe I for got to mention door override (lock) only lasts 30 seconds. My bad.]]\ |
| 30 | '''Soviet''': [[BigWhat What?]] [[ParrotExposition What do you mean the door override only lasts 30 seconds?]] ''(Scrambles back to the locker)'' [[SuddenlyShouting WHAT DO YOU MEAN?]] [[OhCrap DON'T TELL ME THAT NOW!!!]] Why's he telling me right now when (the xenomorph) is right outside the door? |
| 31 | ** Later on, Womble jokes that he's "spent half the game in the damn lockers". Some of the viewers seem to agree: |
| 32 | -->'''Twitch Chat''': What the fuck is this, Locker Simulator 2014?\ |
| 33 | '''Soviet''': [[ActuallyPrettyFunny (Laughs)]] "Locker Simulator". |
| 34 | !! '''Part 3''' |
| 35 | * Near the start of the episode, Womble says [[BlatantLies "I'm completely immune to freaking out."]] Then [[JumpScare something explodes,]] scaring the crap out of him. |
| 36 | * Womble opens a door. |
| 37 | -->'''Soviet''': Okay, I'm going to shit myself if (the alien) ends up behind me.\ |
| 38 | (It's in ''[[ExactWords front]]'' of him. [[OhCrap Soviet screams.]]) |
| 39 | * When encountering and hiding from several armed human enemies, Womble runs into some ArtificialStupidity hiding under a narrow desk, which not only turns out to be a blind spot, but prompts the woman to bug out on it. Womble asks the Twitch chat if he should wait for her to move out or just shoot her [[GroinAttack in the crotch]] and be done with it. |
| 40 | -->'''Womble''': ''(laughs)'' I know what exactly you motherfuckers are gonna pick.\ |
| 41 | '''Chat''': "shoot" "shoot" "shoot" "shoot" "shoot" "SHOOT" "shoot her" "shoot" "do it" "thanks [[MemeticMutation Obama]]" |
| 42 | * Ripley is in a room with synths that had just activated, and Ricardo is calling. |
| 43 | -->'''Soviet''': [[KindaBusyHere Not now, not now... Not now, fuck off!]]\ |
| 44 | '''Ripley''': (Whispering) [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike Not now!]] ([[ActuallyPrettyFunny Soviet laughs]]) |
| 45 | |
| 46 | !! '''Part 4''' |
| 47 | * The start of the episode shows [[RunningGag his incompetence at throwing things from CS:GO]] also applies here, where he fails to chuck a flare down a hole. ''Twice''. |
| 48 | * While most of this episode is him crawling all over the place for fear of the Alien coming at him, there is a bit where he's hiding under a table and as the Alien is walking away, its tail accidentally snagged a canister out of sight from Womble. We get a replay of it as a [[WesternAnimation/FindingNemo seagull call]] claims it. |
| 49 | * Womble encounters a character who for some reason is on a bench looking out the window ''in an area where the xenomorph is on the loose''. |
| 50 | -->'''Soviet''': I know you're upset about [[OffModel your chin]] -- I would be upset too -- but seriously, I would recommend you get the ''[[SuddenlyShouting FUCK OUT OF HERE! COME ON!]]'' |
| 51 | * "Okay, okay, okay, the alarms mean you're safe, okay? See? ''(shifts to his map then shifts off to look at a sign)'' [[{{Bathos}} Did that say "Anal lab"?]][[note]]"Analysis Lab"[[/note]] |
| 52 | |
| 53 | !! '''Part 7''' |
| 54 | * Womble hiding behind a crate to spot a human enemy nearby... [[FailedASpotCheck then getting burned by a flame he failed to spot]]. |
| 55 | * During a tense spacewalk to contact Verlaine, Womble wonders if anyone onboard the station had email or Twitter to make things a lot easier, prompting this ImagineSpot: |
| 56 | -->'''@Ripley / "[=SnuggleBum=]" Ripley''': GET ME THE FUCK OFF THIS STATION!!\ |
| 57 | '''@[=VerlaineTheTorrens=] / Captain Verlaine''': @Ripley What's going on over there?\ |
| 58 | '''[[{{Bathos}} @ILoveCuddles / Xenomorph]]''': lol faggot #SWAG #YOLO #CALLOFDUTY |
| 59 | [[/folder]] |
| 60 | |
| 61 | [[folder:The Culling Bullshittery]] |
| 62 | !! '''Part 1''' |
| 63 | * As Womble first introduces the game to the stream, Cyanide appears to be doing everything to sabotage his intro by making loud, annoying sounds into the mic during his explanation [[OverlyLongGag for at least ten minutes.]] However, Soviet suddenly notices his mic icon is turned off, and when he turns it back on, Cyanide immediately stops. |
| 64 | -->'''Soviet''': Are you done?\ |
| 65 | '''Cyanide''': I was just waiting for you to come back.\ |
| 66 | '''Soviet''': [[FailedASpotCheck Wait, that whole time was my mic muted!?]]\ |
| 67 | '''Cyanide''': Yes.\ |
| 68 | '''Soviet''': ''([[ActuallyPrettyFunny bursts into laughter]])'' I have been barking orders at you for the last ten minutes for you to shut up and my mic has been muted the whole time!?\ |
| 69 | '''Cyanide''': Oh! You said you were gonna go get a sandwich!\ |
| 70 | '''Soviet:''' I thought you were trolling! |
| 71 | ** There's also the revelation that Cyanide hadn't realized the stream had already started, meaning wasn't trying to annoy the audience either; he legitimately makes random noises to himself when he's alone. |
| 72 | * Soviet's interpretation of the "Man Tracker", which plays Ricky Martin's "Livin' La Vida Loca" when active. |
| 73 | -->'''Soviet''': Men are over here! This is a {{Gaydar}}, isn't it? |
| 74 | * One of Soviet's kills involves tasing a guy about to throw dynamite at him. The resulting shock results in him being unable to throw it, [[HoistByHisOwnPetard causing him to blow himself up.]] |
| 75 | * Later on, Soviet's shirtless player character gets compared to a "naked cowboy". |
| 76 | -->'''Soviet''': It's not a naked cowboy, these are my running pants, and this is my running hat.\ |
| 77 | '''Clan Member''': What are you running to, [[Film/PoliceAcademy the Blue Oyster Bar?]] |
| 78 | * Soviet's stint as "Spear Man!" With an amusing twist ending, as narrated by an exasperated Cyanide: |
| 79 | -->'''Cyanide:''' Fucking Spearman had to finish someone off with their goddamn fists! You idiot! |
| 80 | |
| 81 | !! '''Part 2''' |
| 82 | * The [[DeathGlare freakish animation]] of Cyanide "concentrating on the health machine" gets underscored with [[OminousLatinChanting "Procession"]] from ''Film/{{Stargate}}''. |
| 83 | * A solo Cyanide [[PottyEmergency has to pee during a match]], to which Soviet responds: |
| 84 | -->'''Soviet''': You're just going to have to hold it. [[ColdTurkeysAreEverywhere Just don't think of like waterfalls... and streams... and you know how when you leave the tap slightly ajar and it starts dripping bit by bit?]] [[EuphemismBuster Also don't think of urinating.]] |
| 85 | * While spectating Poro's game, another ZF clan member pops into chat wondering what they're playing, but mispronounces ''The Culling'' as "Cauling", "Carling", "Coor-ling", then "Car". |
| 86 | * Cyanide goes through an empty building, and despite catching one of them, he runs into and has to free himself out of ''three'' snare traps. By the third one, he straight-up {{Rage Quit}}s, leaving his character stuck in the trap. |
| 87 | * During a game with Edberg, Soviet, hanging in a bush with a bow and arrow, fires an arrow near Edberg just to spook him. Unfortunately, he hits [[ExplosiveBarrels something that]] ''[[ExplosiveBarrels explodes]]'' next to him. |
| 88 | * "I actually used to think suicide was a person." |
| 89 | -->'''Soviet''': What? ''(turns to the board in the sky)'' Oh, on the board! Killed by a guy called Suicide.\ |
| 90 | '''Chinny''': Yeah, I thought "Fuckin' hell, he's really MLG." |
| 91 | * Soviet excitedly [[CompanionCube discovers a rock and names it Clive]], prompting a long RapidFireComedy sequence [[ConsultingMisterPuppet of him interacting on Soviet's behalf.]] |
| 92 | -->'''Soviet''': Clive's gonna go for the wounded guy.\ |
| 93 | ''(hurls Clive at an enemy, killing him)''\ |
| 94 | '''Soviet''': Good job, Clive.\ |
| 95 | \ |
| 96 | '''Soviet''': Clive says check your Man Tracker.\ |
| 97 | '''Edberg''': [--Fuck Clive...--] |
| 98 | ** Clive becomes so popular that on-stream, Soviet points out that [[https://twitter.com/clivetherock?lang=en he got his own Twitter account in 20 minutes!]] |
| 99 | ** Soviet briefly tosses Clive onto a roof of a building, intending to meet him after he heals at its base. Cyanide, however, gets to him first, and [[{{Troll}} hurls it far off a cliff]], leading to a brief mourning montage set to [[Music/CelineDion "My Heart Will Go On"]] with [[https://i.imgur.com/G5c9hYx.png this fanart.]] |
| 100 | ** He picks up another "Clive" in a later game, and he successfully hits an air drop with him, dropping its package. |
| 101 | ---> '''Soviet''': Where'd he go?\ |
| 102 | '''Cyanide''': I got it.\ |
| 103 | '''Soviet''': [[SkewedPriorities You got Clive?]]\ |
| 104 | '''Cyanide''': I'm going for the fucking supply drop! Fuck your goddamn rock! |
| 105 | ** Upon reaching the drop, the two get into a brief fight throwing objects at each other, but then Soviet gets hit by something [[OhCrap that wasn't from one of them.]] Soviet decides to run to fight the enemy with a machete, but [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Cyanide runs the other way.]] |
| 106 | --->'''Soviet''': Where are you going!?\ |
| 107 | '''Cyanide''': I don't have a knife, I have nothing!\ |
| 108 | '''Soviet''': Take Clive! ''(turns around and drops him)''\ |
| 109 | '''Cyanide''': I threw... I... ''([[{{Angrish}} starts stammering and breaking down]])''\ |
| 110 | '''Soviet''': What are you doing? Are you doing this or not?\ |
| 111 | '''Cyanide''': [[LampshadeHanging I'm so - I'm so frustrated that I feel like crying now...]] |
| 112 | * In a very simple, yet hilarious strategy, Soviet camps behind a door inside a building. The instant an enemy opens the door to throw a grenade inside, [[TacticalDoorUse Soviet slams it back in his face,]] [[HoistByHisOwnPetard causing the enemy to blow himself up behind it.]] |
| 113 | * As Soviet attempts to corner a guy and force him into accidentally walking into the gas clouds behind him... |
| 114 | -->'''Soviet''': He's not very self-aware.\ |
| 115 | ''(smack from enemy behind him)''\ |
| 116 | '''Soviet''': [[IResembleThatRemark OH CHRIST,]] [[HypocriticalHumor NEITHER AM I, HOLY SHIT!]] |
| 117 | * Soviet and Cyanide overlook a fight going on in the distance as the gas cloud draws near, and they debate whether they should finish them off. |
| 118 | -->'''Soviet''': Kill the weak, kill the weak.''(beat)'' [[ThatCameOutWrong Sorry, as in kill the weakened guy, not kill the weak as in eugenics or anything.]] |
| 119 | * Soviet manages to get on top of Cyanide's character and rides him like a steed to his delight, with Cyanide angrily shouting him to get off, stabbing Soviet to knock him off. Shortly afterwards: |
| 120 | -->'''Cyanide''': Also, please never ever say [[AccidentalInnuendo "I'm riding you"]] to me ''ever'' again. That's gonna stay with me for a very long time, and probably in-- \ |
| 121 | '''Soviet''': Y-you looked like you enjoyed it.\ |
| 122 | ''(beat)''\ |
| 123 | '''Soviet''': ''(turning around to Cyanide)'' [[OhCrap He's gonna throw something at me! He's gonna throw something at me!]] |
| 124 | * In the last portion of the video, Soviet and Cyanide discover that Soviet's little brother, Jack, is in the same game as them. [[SiblingRivalry Determined to beat him]] during the final showdown in the Culmination, Soviet attempts to push Jack's buttons to goad him out, telling stories like "Do you remember that time I took your favorite T-shirt and threw it in the bonfire?" [[LaserGuidedKarma This is soon met with Jack managing to outgun the both of them, smacking Soviet in the face with an impact grenade]], [[CurbStompBattle and utterly curb-stomping the both of them up close]], reducing them to [[LaughingMad manic laughter]] and [[VillainousBreakdown screaming panic]] as he cleans them up in dramatic slow-motion. During all of this, Music/KatherineJenkins' [[SoundtrackDissonance "Time To Say Goodbye" is playing in the background.]] |
| 125 | [[/folder]] |
| 126 | |
| 127 | [[folder:DayZ Bullshittery]] |
| 128 | !! '''Part 5''' |
| 129 | * ZF's [[https://youtu.be/oCEpS9IMdBc?t=397 attempts]] to loot a fire station using a helicopter to drop them onto the roof ("[[TemptingFate Fuck being safe, we're ZF, right?]]"). |
| 130 | ** Attempt number one is par for the course with ZF: The designated looter misses the tower he was trying to land on and plummets to his death. |
| 131 | ** Attempt number two is EpicFail even by ZF standards, with the helicopter touching the tower and crashing, the pilot leaping out and getting chopped up by the rotor blades and the ''whole building'', along with the rest of the ZF team, going up in a fireball. |
| 132 | -->'''Soviet''' *watching from a nearby rooftop*: YOU HAD ONE JOB!! |
| 133 | |
| 134 | !! '''Part 7''' |
| 135 | * Airborne's passport renewal story. |
| 136 | * Airborne's 5-year-old daughter greets the ZF Clan and makes them guess her name. Her name is Molly. |
| 137 | -->'''Airborne's daughter:''' I'm going to spell it for ya: MUH ARR WUH WUH YUH. |
| 138 | |
| 139 | !! '''Part 8''' |
| 140 | * Cyanide's rendition of a Christmas carol, as only an Indian could come up with: |
| 141 | -->"On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a totally insufficient dowry." |
| 142 | * "Where are your papers, Mav? Where are they? Oh, you don't have any papers? '''TO THE CONCENTRATION CAMP WITH YOU!'''" |
| 143 | * Airborne: [[CrossesTheLineTwice "Can't beat the Holocaust, like, can you, really?"]] |
| 144 | * When "Tyranneous was killed" shows up on the feed: |
| 145 | -->'''Tyranneous''': Err.. if anyone would like to get involved, that was Zelenogorsk, and they might have just stolen my car. I would've told you who it was if I succeeded in killing them. Unfortunately, it only told you my name. ''(beat)'' [[CaptainObvious Which I already knew]]. |
| 146 | * A random player asks an admin for the rules on the server: "Is giant, helicopter-shaped bullets, are they allowed?" After several seconds of laughing, the admin replies, "If you can make it, go ahead." "Splendid, see you soon!" Sure enough, we get to see one helicopter-shaped bullet blow up a building roof shortly afterward. |
| 147 | * Airborne's other daughter Georgia talks to the ZF Clan. Soviet immediately asks her to spell her name for them. |
| 148 | -->'''Georgia:''' Jerr air arr ruh gerr ay arrr.\ |
| 149 | '''Soviet:''' Airborne, what the fuck have you been teaching your kids? |
| 150 | ** Followed by: |
| 151 | -->'''Georgia:''' I kill you. Dad, remind me, I kill you. See ya :) |
| 152 | * The ZF Clan hold an event wherein players compete to win a helicopter full of gear. They are to race to the top of a building being guarded by five defenders. With Stealth as the only remaining defender, he starts playing music to suit the mood: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBsIGF-KZZw "Give It Up" by KC and the Sunshine Band.]] |
| 153 | |
| 154 | [[/folder]] |
| 155 | |
| 156 | [[folder:The Forest Bullshittery]] |
| 157 | * The pedometer joke, in three parts: |
| 158 | ** First, Cyanide refers to it as a "[[PaedoHunt pedo meter]]" despite Soviet's corrections. |
| 159 | ** Then in the intro cutscene, the player character is in a plane with a child sleeping next to him. "That's what the Pedo Meter is for!" |
| 160 | ** Finally, when the plane crashes and the player character sees a creepy cannibal carrying the child off, Cyanide pipes in with "Uh... my Pedo Meter is blinking," to which Soviet agrees. |
| 161 | * The brief moment of frightened confusion when Soviet and Cyanide's characters fade in looking at their bloody hands, but spawning with their models clipped into each other. |
| 162 | * Soviet, Cyanide and Quebec, after running away from enemy cannibals, hang out in an open hill trying to figure out how to start a fire: |
| 163 | -->'''Soviet''': Oh, I did it, I did it.\ |
| 164 | '''Cyanide''': How did you do it?\ |
| 165 | '''Soviet''': [[CaptainObvious I pressed E on it.]]\ |
| 166 | '''Cyanide''': ''(beat)'' Are you retarded?\ |
| 167 | '''[[TheStoic Quebec]]''': Oh, [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight there's something walking towards us from behind you guys!]] I dunno if you --\ |
| 168 | '''Soviet''': ''(turning around to see an enemy)'' ''[[JumpScare AAAAAGHH!!]]'' |
| 169 | ** As they fight the enemy off, they notice how he resembles [[Film/TheLordOfTheRings Sméagol]], and Soviet dubs him with the voice of [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Greased-Up Deaf Guy.]] |
| 170 | * After crafting a shed, Soviet and Cyanide use the save point in it, which results in the game briefly going black for no apparent reason. |
| 171 | --> '''Cyanide''': I just pressed C and my screen just went black.\ |
| 172 | '''Soviet''': I think we just had sex, man. |
| 173 | ** Later during a cannibal attack at dusk, Soviet is left running away from them and attempts to hide in the "wank shack." When he gets in it, [[JumpScare he finds it's occupied with another cannibal.]] |
| 174 | * The trio's encounter with a cannibal [[GoodBadBugs stuck in a loop sprinting on all fours around a tree stump]], complete with Soviet playing carnival music. |
| 175 | * During a downtime where Quebec is off his mic, Cyanide quietly explains to Soviet how Quebec (a 17-year-old) got a girl pregnant at 16, and he was left to take care of the child after she refused to keep it. Later, Quebec comes back, and Soviet asks him for confirmation: |
| 176 | -->'''Soviet''': Hey, Quebec, you're a single parent at the age of... what?\ |
| 177 | '''Quebec''': I'm a single parent?\ |
| 178 | '''Soviet''': Yeah, are you a single parent at the age of whatever you are?\ |
| 179 | ''(lengthy pause)''\ |
| 180 | '''Quebec''': ''(puzzled)'' No!\ |
| 181 | '''Soviet''': Oh, fuck you, Cyanide!\ |
| 182 | '''Cyanide''': ''(bursts out laughing)'' You believe everything, you idiot!\ |
| 183 | [...]\ |
| 184 | '''Soviet''': He was selling me this fucking story about how you managed to get a chick pregnant at 16 and she abandoned it, and you kept the baby. That's why you were AFK, because you had to take care of the kid?\ |
| 185 | '''Quebec''': I was eating a Pukka pie! |
| 186 | ** This is immediately followed by Quebec telling that Echo apparently convinced some friends that the former is Jewish and that they don't serve some things when they invite him to a party. |
| 187 | [[/folder]] |
| 188 | |
| 189 | [[folder:GTA V Bullshittery]] |
| 190 | !! '''Part 1''' |
| 191 | * Womble's attempts to create a real-life accurate version of himself in ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoV'' leads him to making "a hairy Creator/RickyGervais with lipstick." |
| 192 | * Cyanide and Womble are in an intense car chase in the streets, with Cyanide trying to get Womble to shoot the other driver. Despite him only having a [[LittleUselessGun "pea-shooter" pistol]], he takes one shot anyway... and [[ImprobableAimingSkills pegs the guy through the window, instantly killing him.]] |
| 193 | * "Fuck you, you massive colossal cuntasaurus!" |
| 194 | * As the gang hangs out in an apartment, Womble decides to take a shower, to which Cyanide and Gambit hang outside the bathroom door like bodyguards, which ends up trapping Womble inside. |
| 195 | -->'''Cyanide''': [[CallBack Oh look, what does this remind you of?]]\ |
| 196 | '''Womble''': You've locked me in my fucking bathroom [[VideoGame/DayZ twice!]] You fucking... move! |
| 197 | ** Soon enough, ''everyone'' decides to walk into the bathroom, and see how many people they can fit in the shower. [[AllGermansAreNazis Gambit]] chimes in with [[CrossesTheLineTwice "At least twelve Jews."]] |
| 198 | ** Later in the same apartment, everyone has a blast simply playing musical chairs using the sofa. |
| 199 | * One of the clan members asks what a "{{Gaydar}}" is, and while he catches on quickly, the rest of the chat chastise him for having to explain it for his age. |
| 200 | -->'''Womble''': And with a gaydar, you have a gay countermeasure which is where you throw glitter in the air, like chaff. |
| 201 | * During a parachuting session, Soviet slightly misses the landing zone, which is then followed by someone else ''faceplanting'' onto it. |
| 202 | * Gladpus' very strange custom mission, with the description "There will be no frogs here, only hookers, lots of hookers," which involves Womble's crew spawning on a beach surrounded by hookers... ho proceed to beat them all up with baseball bats. As Womble tries to make sense of it after they all lose, Gladpus just keeps laughing. |
| 203 | -->'''Womble''': This is basically like a Fem Dom simulator, isn't it? |
| 204 | |
| 205 | !! '''Part 2''' |
| 206 | * The [[UnsettlingGenderReveal unsettling reveal]] that one of the scantily-clad women in the strip club is actually [[CrossPlayer ZF Tom.]] |
| 207 | ** Later, Womble exits the strip club to find Cyanide instead obsessing over [[CarPorn the fancy sports cars outside.]] |
| 208 | --->'''Cyanide''': LOOK AT IT! THE DOORS OPEN UPWARDS! LOOK AT IT! |
| 209 | * "Tyranneous, why do you look like Hoggle from ''Film/{{Labyrinth}}''?" |
| 210 | * "Ugh, I'm being shot! Ugh, I'm still being--GO YOU FUCK NUGGET!" |
| 211 | * The entire sequence of the ZF Clan racing in a particularly dangerous dirt road in the mountains, which results in many cars flying off the cliffs. |
| 212 | ** The first race is relatively standard until Soviet drifts off the mountainside and [[BlatantLies repeatedly says "I can recover, it's fine!"]] until he falls into a crevice. |
| 213 | --->'''Cyanide''': Soviet, I'm sending you a present!\ |
| 214 | ''(flops a corpse over his car)''\ |
| 215 | '''Soviet''': Did you just throw Music/KanyeWest at me!?\ |
| 216 | '''Cyanide''': Woooaahh! ''(his car falls on top of Soviet's)'' |
| 217 | ** The second race takes place at night, with the cars driven in taxis. |
| 218 | --->'''Soviet''': My cab driver's name is Juan.\ |
| 219 | '''Cyanide''': My cab driver's name is [[Film/Deadpool2016 Dopinder.]] |
| 220 | *** While we don't see what happens, Cyanide's cabbie [[DrivesLikeCrazy ends up catching air and later becomes upside-down.]] Soviet's doesn't fare much better, and after a roll-over, they then proceed to drive into yet another crevice off the mountain. |
| 221 | ** The third race involves more taxis, with Soviet asking Cyanide for an Indian name to give to the driver. Cyanide suggests "Rahjaesh" and "Rajesh", to which Soviet parses as "Roger the Indian Driver." Partway in the race, Soviet gets suddenly ejected from the taxi after a hard turn, then immediately gets run over by Moogle. |
| 222 | ** In the fourth race with Soviet and Cyanide sitting in the same car, "Roger" once again falls off the cliff, prompting Cyanide to take the wheel when they land ("I am your Rajesh now!"), where he then roleplays as an immigrant cabbie, complete with an exaggerated Indian accent. |
| 223 | -->'''Soviet''': Seamless, Cyanide, it's seamless. And slightly racist. |
| 224 | ** Cyanide soon drives the taxi off the cliff and into the river, claiming its the shortcut half way there. Once they are in the river and can't move any more... |
| 225 | -->'''Cyanide as Rajesh''': That would be 72 dollars. |
| 226 | * Cyanide ends up swimming down a river without knowing what's in front of him. Soviet, knowing there's [[InevitableWaterfall a waterfall]], [[WithFriendsLikeThese tells him to keep swimming.]] Cyanide bitterly punches Womble when he resurfaces. |
| 227 | * Womble, Cyanide, and Tom's utter bafflement at the in-universe movie, [[LeFilmArtistique a totally incomprehensible "arthouse" film]]. |
| 228 | [[/folder]] |
| 229 | |
| 230 | [[folder:[=PlayerUnknown's=] Battlegrounds Bullshittery]] |
| 231 | !! '''Part 1''' |
| 232 | * Cyanide's mnemonic devices for remembering cardinal directions are "'''N'''ever '''E'''at '''S'''ea '''W'''eed" as well as "'''N'''obody '''E'''njoys '''S'''oviet '''W'''omble." Soviet's response is to light a molotov cocktail to throw at him, [[EpicFail only for it to explode in his hand instead.]] |
| 233 | * During a game, Cyanide asks [[ComputerVoice Siri]] if she wants to get dinner sometime. Her response is barely audible, but his reaction says it all: |
| 234 | --> '''Cyanide''': What does that -- what does that-- what?\ |
| 235 | '''Soviet''': What did she say?\ |
| 236 | '''Cyanide''': Nothing.\ |
| 237 | '''Soviet''': Did you just get turned down by Siri?\ |
| 238 | '''Cyanide''': [[BadLiar No.]]\ |
| 239 | '''Teammate''': I think he did. ''(starts laughing)''\ |
| 240 | '''Soviet''': You were, were you? You were fucking turned down by a robot! |
| 241 | ** Later on: |
| 242 | ---> '''Cyanide''': Siri just keyed up for some reason.\ |
| 243 | '''Siri in the background''': Aamir! Your language!\ |
| 244 | '''Cyanide''': ''[[BigWhat WHAT!?]] FUCK YOU!''\ |
| 245 | ''(entire chat bursts into hysterics)'' |
| 246 | * Soviet's story about how during the middle of sex with a past girlfriend, the music they had playing suddenly cut to audio of ''Film/TheMatrix'' [[FetishRetardant with Morpheus "giving his big 'What is real' speech"]]. |
| 247 | -->'''Soviet''': Trying to continue the rhythm to Creator/LaurenceFishburne just sort of just talking was quite difficult. [...] Thanks for the boner-killer, you bald bastard! |
| 248 | * Soviet's amazement after hearing random clinking noises for no apparent reason that it's coming from [[GoodBadBugs his revolver stuck in a loop of ejecting/inserting ammo on its own]], which he then interprets as a ghost reloading his pistol. |
| 249 | -->'''Soviet''': I'm being haunted by all the shots I've missed. |
| 250 | * This random conversation in the lobby: |
| 251 | -->'''Cyanide''': I don't understand sex.\ |
| 252 | '''Soviet''': Yeah, no no no.\ |
| 253 | '''Cyanide''': I just want someone to touch my pee pee.\ |
| 254 | '''Soviet''': Yeah. ''(exhales)'' Tell me about it.\ |
| 255 | ''(beat)''\ |
| 256 | '''Cyanide''': What, about my pee pee?\ |
| 257 | '''Soviet''': No, not your pee pee--\ |
| 258 | '''Cyanide''': Well, its average girth and length is--\ |
| 259 | '''Soviet''': [[BigNo NOOOO NOOO]]-- |
| 260 | * Soviet's amusement at a bulletproof vest he picks up, which doesn't appear to cover any of his vitals such as his heart and lungs. Cyanide retorts by saying [[BlatantLies "We call those non-essentials."]] |
| 261 | * During a chaotic firefight against two enemies, Soviet finishes off what appears to be an already-downed enemy, [[UnfriendlyFire and doesn't realize until it's too late that it was Cyanide.]] Cyanide gets ''royally'' pissed and {{Rage Quit}}s for a moment, and when he returns: |
| 262 | -->'''Soviet''': I will start my three-part apology by saying you're a wonderful man--\ |
| 263 | '''Cyanide''': [[RejectedApology NO NO NO sssshhhhhhhhhh]]. I'm coming to Brighton.\ |
| 264 | '''Soviet''': Yeah?\ |
| 265 | '''Cyanide''': [[TranquilFury And I'm going to skin you alive]]. |
| 266 | |
| 267 | !! '''Part 2''' |
| 268 | * During the start of a game as firefights are already breaking out, Soviet can't find any guns and instead resorts to cheering on Edberg shooting someone from a distance. |
| 269 | -->'''Soviet''': I believe in you, Edberg!\ |
| 270 | '''Edberg''': Shut up!\ |
| 271 | '''Soviet''': Two four six eight, who do we appreciate! Eeeeeeedberg! Eeeeeedberg! Hey! ''(gets shot down by an enemy)'' AAGH! |
| 272 | * "Sorry, I've just noticed we've lost Tom, fuck." |
| 273 | -->'''Echo''': You wanna say a few words for him?\ |
| 274 | '''Soviet''': He was a cunt.\ |
| 275 | ''(beat)''\ |
| 276 | '''Echo''': Good enough. |
| 277 | * Throughout the video, Digby repeatedly interjects with eulogies of the silly ways Soviet dies, complete with introductory church music. |
| 278 | * Nevil's [[TheUnintelligible incomprehensibility]] shows up again, which rears its ugly head as he asks the group to "gam in the aero." |
| 279 | --> '''Nevil''': Aero! Yeah, aero!\ |
| 280 | '''Soviet''': Aero's, the chocolate bar with the bubbles in it?\ |
| 281 | '''Nevil''': The buk-buk!\ |
| 282 | '''Ezio''': Apartment? ''Oh!'' "Camp the airdrop!"\ |
| 283 | '''Soviet''': ''"Airdrop"!'' Right! [[LampshadeHanging Where the hell was the D and the P!?]] "Aero" you said. "Air drop!"\ |
| 284 | '''Nevil''': Fuck ''you''! |
| 285 | ** Later at the start of a round, [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Soviet abandons Nevil as he gets into a fight]], to which he ''actually speaks somewhat coherently'' as he starts getting his ass kicked. |
| 286 | --->'''Soviet''': I'm with you, Nevil!\ |
| 287 | '''Nevil''': [[OhCrap He's got a shotgun! FUCK! HE'S GOTTA SHOTGUN!]]\ |
| 288 | '''Soviet''': [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Oh, I'm no longer with you! I'm no longer with you, Nevil!]] ''(runs in the other direction)''\ |
| 289 | '''Nevil''': ''(boom)'' AAAGH!\ |
| 290 | '''Soviet''': [[DirtyCoward No longer with you! You're on your own! Good luck, man, I believe in you!]]\ |
| 291 | '''Nevil''': I NEED HAEL!\ |
| 292 | ''(later after Soviet finds his corpse)''\ |
| 293 | '''Soviet''': Is he dead? Oh! Good job, Nevil!\ |
| 294 | '''Nevil''': ''[[ActuallyPrettyFunny (through laughter)]]'' Fuck you! |
| 295 | * Soviet almost gets sniped through a window while in an apartment, but manages to take the time to [[BuffySpeak clumsily]] use "''Series/{{CSI}}'' shit", attempting to deduce where the shot came from and where to camp as the shooter tries to run off. [[AwesomenessByAnalysis When he proves to be correct]], the video suddenly explodes into a massively-overedited parody of ''Series/CSIMiami'''s intro using footage of the game, with cameos from [[CallBack Detective Clive]] and Cyanide's Super-Hot Girlfriend. |
| 296 | -->'''Edberg''': YOU MASSIVE OVER-EDITOR!\ |
| 297 | '''Soviet''': Sorry, I just get carried away! |
| 298 | * Edberg invites ''VideoGame/Dota2'' caster [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TobiWan TobiWan]] to one game, leading Soviet and Gambit to [[TakeThat begin taking the piss out of him before he joins in, comparing him to "the guy who sits in the bottom corner but sort of waves his hands around for the hearing impaired, except not for the hearing impaired, but after you listen to him you wish you were."]] Once he joins in: |
| 299 | -->'''[=Tobiwan=]''': hellloooooooo...\ |
| 300 | '''Soviet''': Hello, [[DelayedReaction OH, speak of the devil, Tobiwan!]] [[BlatantLies We were complementing you on the fine work...]]\ |
| 301 | '''[=Tobiwan=]''': [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext I'M DEE I'M VEE EE VEE AH I'M THE DEE VEE I'M DEE EE VEE I DEE EE VEE I EL, DEVIL.]]\ |
| 302 | '''Soviet''': ...what the hell did he just say?\ |
| 303 | '''Gambit''': Womble, I agree with you, I wish I was hearing-impaired right now.\ |
| 304 | \ |
| 305 | '''[=Tobiwan=]''': You don't know [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLG6N6Fwye0 that song]]? I think Gambit knows that song judging by his snigger.\ |
| 306 | ''(beat)''\ |
| 307 | '''Soviet and Gambit''': By his what? |
| 308 | * Soviet's driving a speedboat with a heavily-armed [[TheGadfly Cyanide]] in the back: |
| 309 | --> '''Soviet''': Why are you in the back?\ |
| 310 | '''Cyanide''': [[BlatantLies Just in case any of you get any funny fucking ideas.]]\ |
| 311 | '''Soviet''': What, about us shooting you? ''(he and Nevil turn around point their guns at Cyanide)'' What, you don't think we can't shoot you?\ |
| 312 | '''Cyanide''': OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE! |
| 313 | * Soviet and Digby invite a player named Bavon for a game, whose response is inexplicably a bassy, stuttering chant that sounds like it's coming from an enlightened Lovecraftian demon. |
| 314 | -->'''Soviet''': ...I think that means "yes."\ |
| 315 | '''Digby''': Once he's phased into being. |
| 316 | * The ending, in which Soviet uses 9 shots with a shotgun, some at close range and fairly accurate, ''[[EpicFail and still somehow failing to kill a single target.]]'' |
| 317 | |
| 318 | !! '''Part 3''' |
| 319 | * The very first clip, which features Womble and Cyanide scrambling for a vehicle to escape the closing blue border... [[EpicFail until Cyanide flips it over a pothole]]. |
| 320 | -->'''Womble:''' [[DeadpanSnarker You are a total fucking moron and I hate having met you to be honest]].\ |
| 321 | '''Cyanide:''' Mistakes were made! Mistakes were made! |
| 322 | * Nevil still hasn't improved [[TheUnintelligible his accent]], but fascinatingly, [[TranslatorBuddy Cyanide has become fluent in it and provides more-or-less accurate translations]]. |
| 323 | -->'''Nevil:''' FUG YOU EDBERG, I didumtdo aaeeight, muvafuka.\ |
| 324 | '''Cyanide:''' If you want a translation for that, it was "Fuck you, Edberg, I gave you the 8X, motherfucker."\ |
| 325 | '''Nevil:''' Edbug camt aem potato aeem.\ |
| 326 | '''Cyanide:''' "Edberg can't aim, potato aim."\ |
| 327 | '''Nevil:''' Fucking Uncle Joseph!\ |
| 328 | '''Cyanide:''' "You fucking uncultured shit."\ |
| 329 | '''Nevil:''' ''(Edberg misses a shot)'' Wow, neiaigh, edbug!\ |
| 330 | '''Cyanide:''' "[[SarcasmMode Wow, nice aim, Edberg!]]"\ |
| 331 | '''Nevil:''' Whydufuc he dun aeight? waysdid in aeight for ths shet!\ |
| 332 | '''Cyanide''': "I gave you the 8x, you can't aim for that shit."\ |
| 333 | '''Womble''': ''(he and Edberg laughs)'' He's actually translating it!\ |
| 334 | '''Cyanide''': [[LampshadeHanging I'm fluent in idiot, I can't help it!]] |
| 335 | ** For all the comments Nevil gives him, Edberg later gives him a quick swipe back: |
| 336 | --->'''Nevil:''' Howmny fupkin fwashbabs doouav?\ |
| 337 | '''Cyanide:''' "How many fucking flashbangs do you have?"\ |
| 338 | '''Edberg:''' [[YourMom Just as many dicks as your mum takes]].\ |
| 339 | ''(Womble and Cyanide laugh)''\ |
| 340 | '''Nevil:''' [[DelayedReaction ...what?]]\ |
| 341 | '''Cyanide:''' Uh, "[[CaptainObvious What?"]]\ |
| 342 | '''Womble:''' Yes, we got that, Cyanide. |
| 343 | * While waiting in the lobby, Digby's heard talking to someone about brownie recipes, followed by some... [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything questionable moaning noises]]. |
| 344 | -->'''Womble''': Was someone-- what was that sound in the background?\ |
| 345 | ''(moaning noise)''\ |
| 346 | '''Womble''': ''That'', what is that?\ |
| 347 | '''[=JoinkStreams=]''': Oh yeah, [[TheStoner that was my girlfriend, she wants brownies]].\ |
| 348 | '''[=JoinkStreams=]' girlfriend''': ''(faintly)'' Brownies!\ |
| 349 | '''Womble''': Oh, I see!\ |
| 350 | ''(everyone bursts out laughing)''\ |
| 351 | '''Womble''': She was having a [[OrgasmicallyDelicious food orgasm]], I thought it was [[TheModestOrgasm something else]] there.\ |
| 352 | '''[=JoinkStreams=]''': Yeah, she was tapping my hand begging f--\ |
| 353 | '''[=JoinkStreams=]' girlfriend''': ''(faintly)'' Broooowwwwwniiiieeeeess~ |
| 354 | * The sequence where Womble gets [[SuddenlyShouting surprisingly]] [[SeriousBusiness passionate]] about the concept of "dibs": |
| 355 | -->'''Cyanide''': The rule of dibs is a fucking mockery in and of itself.\ |
| 356 | '''Womble''': Don't disrespect the rule of dibs! The rule of dibs is a time-honored tradition ever since UsefulNotes/JuliusCaesar wandered into Rome and said "dibs"!\ |
| 357 | '''Cyanide''': How did that work for him?\ |
| 358 | '''Womble''': [[AnalogyBackfire Well, he kinda got surrounded by about 20 guys and stabbed]], so... some would say fun times. |
| 359 | ** Following this, Cyanide really messes up his history by claiming his "wench" was "Caligoola." Not {{UsefulNotes/Cleopatra|VII}}, but ''UsefulNotes/{{Caligula}}'' [[ArtisticLicenseHistory the male Roman Emperor born around 80 years after Caeser's death]]. |
| 360 | --->'''Kaffe''': It's the Roman Empire, [[TheTysonZone weirder things have happened.]]\ |
| 361 | '''Womble''': "When in Rome, bang Caligula!" ''(photoshops his head on a statue of StupidSexyFlanders)'' |
| 362 | * The clan begins dropping down to ground level in Miramar... except for [=TobiWan=], [[FailedASpotCheck who gets blindsided by a crane and gets stuck on it]]. |
| 363 | -->'''[=TobiWan=]''': How do I get down from here?\ |
| 364 | '''Womble''': [[MathematiciansAnswer With difficulty.]] |
| 365 | * Womble, Cyanide, Edberg, and [=UnrealYuki=] try out a zombie mod: |
| 366 | ** In a sign of things to come, in the practice lobby, tons of zombies (harmlessly) swarm Womble, [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere while the others make a run for it in the other direction]]. |
| 367 | --->'''Womble''': What do zombies sound like? ''(unmutes)''\ |
| 368 | '''Zombies''': [[MemeticMutation Womble is a faggot]]!\ |
| 369 | '''Womble''': ''(mute)'' [[DeadpanSnarker Yeah, I expected nothing less]]. |
| 370 | ** Cyanide and Unreal go down quickly, and Edberg devises he and Womble get higher ground on the roof of the building as zombies start coming in... [[DirtyCoward then abandons him by leaping onto another building Womble can't jump to]]. |
| 371 | ** Womble gets his revenge in the next round, where as the four of them outrun the zombie swarm on foot, Womble [[UnfriendlyFire shoots and injures Edberg to distract the swarm as the rest of them flee]]. |
| 372 | * Womble tries to kill an enemy through a small window at a two-storey building, so he cooks a grenade to toss in... [[HoistByHisOwnPetard only for it to bounce off the window frame and kill him]]. |
| 373 | -->'''Womble''': ''(sighs)'' [[{{Series/Bottom}} There was a little mistake there]]. ''[[DeadpanSnarker Did you spot it?]]' |
| 374 | [[/folder]] |
| 375 | |
| 376 | [[folder:Rising Storm 2: Vietnam Bullshittery]] |
| 377 | !! '''Part 1''' |
| 378 | * At the start of the video, Digby has an unfortunate tendency to [[ExplosiveStupidity blow himself up]]. |
| 379 | -->'''Digby:''' [[LeeroyJenkins BAYONET CHARGE, MOTHERFUCKER--]] Oh, it's you guys- (Gets blown up) |
| 380 | -->'''Soviet:''' [[JumpScare Oh, Jesus Christ]]! |
| 381 | -->'''Dinklebean:''' Soviet, have you got the same PTSD as I do now? |
| 382 | -->'''Soviet:''' Yeah, I do now. |
| 383 | -->(Later on) |
| 384 | -->'''Womble''': ''(over [[LudicrousGibs Digby's obliterated corpse]])'' Digby, have you been working out?\ |
| 385 | '''Digby''': [[BlackComedy Pretty ripped]]. |
| 386 | * Some time later, Digby also gets hold of [[FireBreathingWeapon a flamethrower]]. |
| 387 | -->'''Womble''': [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Oh god. Well, we're all gonna die of friendly fire]].\ |
| 388 | '''Digby''': I have my [[GratuitousGerman Flammenwerfer]], with which I can Werf Flammen!\ |
| 389 | \ |
| 390 | '''Digby''': [[Theatre/TheSoundOfMusic The hills are aliiiiiiive with the sound of]]--''([[KillItWithFire distant area erupts in flames]])''--[[Theatre/TheSoundOfMusic with songs they have sung for a thousand]]--''(much smaller puff of smoke)''--[[ItWorksBetterWithBullets oh, I ran out of flame.]] |
| 391 | ** Even further down the line, Poro also picks up a flamethrower [[LethallyStupid only to instantly torch himself]] ''[[LethallyStupid and an entire row of friendly machine gunners]]''. |
| 392 | * [[WebVideo/FilthyFrank "Welcome to the rice fields, motherfucker!"]] |
| 393 | * While hiding among several explosions, Womble runs into another soldier inexplicably named "UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler". |
| 394 | -->'''Womble''': [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight You're in the wrong war, Hitler]]. |
| 395 | ** Later, Digby accidentally kills him with friendly fire, and apologizes with "[[ARareSentence Sorry about that, Hitler.]]" |
| 396 | * Womble falling for a chat message asking him [[WhatsAHenway to pronounce "icewallowcome".]] |
| 397 | * While taking a police station, an enemy Vietcong managed to kill at least four members of the ZF clan and Soviet asks how many of them did that guy kill. Digby offers the one legit excuse in that he didn't open fire because he had the flamethrower and he was taking up the rear and didn't want to cause friendly fire and then everyone started yabbering over one another. |
| 398 | -->'''Soviet:''' [[SurroundedByIdiots You're all idiots]]. |
| 399 | * The chat sends a somewhat confusing message of "Quebec's voice [[{{Malaproper}} makes his panties wet]]": |
| 400 | -->'''Quebec''': Basically when I move the mic right in front of my mouth, I sound like kind of [[ASMRVideo an ASMR podcast]] presenter guy. ''(moves the mic closer to him)'' We'll put it right there. Theeeere we are.\ |
| 401 | '''Womble''': [[DramaticReading Start reading]] ''Literature/FiftyShadesOfGrey''.\ |
| 402 | '''Quebec''': 50 Shades of--'''''[[KilledMidSentence AAAAUGHH]]'''''\ |
| 403 | '''Womble''': [[SarcasmMode Yes, I can feel the ASMR]]. |
| 404 | ** In general throughout the video, we get to hear [[TheStoic Quebec's]] [[NotSoStoic hilarious noises and screams when he gets genuinely panicked]]. |
| 405 | * A teammate is killed by a player whose name references a certain British Prime Minister. |
| 406 | -->'''Digby:''' I got killed by UsefulNotes/TheresaMay apparently. |
| 407 | -->'''Quebec:''' Does this constitute as a hard Brexit? |
| 408 | * The clan's casual, subtle racism throughout the video is uncomfortable and annoying, so much that Womble has to break out a "Don't Be Racist" bell for any time they act up. [[{{Troll}} The overt]] (if [[CensoredForComedy censored]]) [[CrossesTheLineTwice racism is hysterical]]. |
| 409 | -->'''Clanmate 1''': It was literally like [*NO*] out of the [*NOPE*] rice paddies.\ |
| 410 | '''Womble''': ''(rings the "Don't Be Racist" bell)'' Noooo noooo noooooooo...\ |
| 411 | \ |
| 412 | '''Clanmate 2''': [*very censored*] [[BleepDammit CUNTS!]] ''(Womble rings the bell)''\ |
| 413 | \ |
| 414 | '''Clanmate 3''': I have something to say, but I'm not sure if it's too much.\ |
| 415 | '''Womble''': If it's you, it's probably too much.\ |
| 416 | '''Clanmate 3''': Are the Vietcong basically [[ClusterBleepBomb [*nooo*] [*naughty*] [*stop it*] [*no*] [*NOOO*]]]\ |
| 417 | '''Womble''': ''(wildly swinging the bell as everyone bursts out laughing)'' [[OnlySaneMan You can't say that! You cannot say that!]] |
| 418 | ** Womble does ''[[{{Hypocrite}} completely disregard his own advice]]'' in one instance. |
| 419 | --> '''Womble:''' (looking at a portrait of Ho Chi Minh) This is where they learn lessons about Ho Chi Minh, [[BlatantLies the man who invented the instant noodle]]. [[HypocriticalHumor Konnichiwa.]] |
| 420 | * Womble accidentally gets caught [[DeathFromAbove in the middle of a napalm strike]], only to be inexplicably saved by [[ConcealmentEqualsCover a thatch hut]]... [[PuffOfLogic at least until he steps from under its roof]]. |
| 421 | * Womble and his squad are ultimately trying to push up a bridge...only for [[OhCrap a grenade to land right at their center]] and kill the entire squad. It's soon revealed that [[UnfriendlyFire a friendly]] by the name of ComicBook/ThePunisher threw the grenade. Apparently, even Frank Castle makes mistakes. |
| 422 | |
| 423 | !!Part 2 |
| 424 | * Soviet insists that while everyone can join their game, shooting him is against the rules and [[ButtMonkey you should shoot Nevil instead]]. |
| 425 | -->'''Nevil:''' [[BigWhat WHAT?!]] |
| 426 | * The montage of ZF Clan forgetting that they're playing, as Soviet repeatedly points out, ''Rising Storm 2: '''''VIETNAM'''''''. After repeatedly telling his clanmates off for calling the Vietcong Chinese, Korean etc., Soviet nearly calls them ''Mexicans''. |
| 427 | * Quebec starts letting his cat call the shots. Honestly, this being ZF, it's probably a lateral move. |
| 428 | * When someone gets killed by a grenade, Soviet's subtitles for it are sent flying, and letters drop from the sky afterwards. |
| 429 | ** [[TooDumbToLive Is that a grenade?]] |
| 430 | * Quebec [[IsThisThingStillOn inadvertently broadcasting their battle plan to the enemy team]] via the ''public'' voice channel. |
| 431 | -->'''Quebec''': [...] and it's four minutes till the napalm. |
| 432 | -->'''Enemy player''': Quebec. Don't use public channel... |
| 433 | -->'''Quebec''': [-- [[OhCrap Oh sorry.]] Disregard that.--] |
| 434 | * The copious amount of friendly fire within ZF's ranks. Even when they're NOT actively trying to kill each other. |
| 435 | -->'''Digby''': '''CLEAR BACKBLAST''' [[[LethallyStupid Hits friendly]]] [[OhCrap Oop..!]] |
| 436 | -->'''Soviet''': Oh Jesus Christ...the battle hasn't even started! |
| 437 | * Neo-Voodoo, in which you put someone's hair on a doll, go to their house, and stab them. |
| 438 | -->'''Quebec:''' Cutting out the middle-man. |
| 439 | * Cyanide's answer to "How does a blind man know when he's done wiping [his bottom]?" Heads up, you don't want to be eating while hearing that. |
| 440 | * Womble marking down Quebec's antics for the Twitch Police. |
| 441 | * "I'm British! We didn't invade the rest of the world to speak their language!" - Womble |
| 442 | * Soviet fumbling a name that was clearly intended to be "Promethean UK" into "Prome the Anuk". |
| 443 | * The entire saga of Digital Vagrant's beer. |
| 444 | -->'''Soviet:''' So we all do this together. Three, two, one, drink.\ |
| 445 | ''They drink. ({{Beat}})''\ |
| 446 | '''Soviet:''' [[ATankardOfMooseUrine Can someone kick him, please]]? |
| 447 | ** In the animated bit during this part, all of the characters representing the ZF members take a drink... except for Digital Vagrant's character, [[{{Troll}} who pretends to take a sip and watches the others with a knowing smile.]] |
| 448 | ** Hell even the name of the beer deserves a mention; Shit Creek. Pretty good {{Foreshadowing}} of it's taste. |
| 449 | * Soviet hides in an out of the way corner of the map and immediately starts getting stream-sniped. When he dies the killfeed reports his killer as [[TeamKiller Quebec.]] |
| 450 | * When Digby is the only survivor in the ZF team, Soviet broadcasts his location to the enemy team and follows him around with the death camera so stream-snipers know exactly where he is. |
| 451 | |
| 452 | !!Part 3 |
| 453 | |
| 454 | * Soviet's teammates continuously hiding in a particular poorly protected cover and getting shot or burnt to death in the process. |
| 455 | * This exchange near the beginning of the video: |
| 456 | --> '''Chinny:''' Alright if we need napalm, where do we need it? |
| 457 | --> '''Soviet:''' [[MathematiciansAnswer On the VC.]] |
| 458 | --> '''Chinny:''' [[SuddenlyShouting WHERE'S THE VC?!]] |
| 459 | --> '''Soviet:''' [[CurbstompBattle EVERYWHERE!]] |
| 460 | * Soviet's stint as squad leader: |
| 461 | ** [[OverlyLongGag Soviet's teammates continuously nagging him to build a spawn tunnel, much to his irritation.]] |
| 462 | ** Last words from Soviet regarding his role as TL: |
| 463 | --> '''Soviet:''' Also, please note that as a squad leader, so it's quite important that I not just run in and get killed-- |
| 464 | --> ''(Soviet gets killed)'' |
| 465 | ** Teammates spawning in Soviet's position, running into a nearby doorway, and promptly getting shot by VC in the other side. |
| 466 | --> '''Soviet:''' Are we just--we're just making a pile of Americans! |
| 467 | * ZF discusses Soviet's love life (or lack thereof): |
| 468 | --> '''Chinny:''' Although Soviet, Mr. [[PrecisionFStrike Fucking]] Single for how many years now? |
| 469 | --> '''Soviet:''' Many. |
| 470 | --> '''Chinny:''' How many? |
| 471 | --> '''Soviet:''' When was [[UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush the Bush administration?]] |
| 472 | --> '''Quebec:''' [[UsefulNotes/GeorgeHWBush Which one?]] |
| 473 | * A teammate runs past Soviet, [[ManOnFire on fire.]] |
| 474 | --> '''Soviet:''' That guy was listening to a new mixtape. |
| 475 | * Digby's atrocious singing. |
| 476 | --> '''Digby:''' ''(singing)'' [[Music/TheAnimals There must be some kind of way outta--]] |
| 477 | --> ''[[KilledMidSentence (Digby gets shot)]]'' |
| 478 | --> '''Digby:''' I think the VC objected to my singing. |
| 479 | ** An OverlyLongGag later occurs when Digby keeps singing The Trashmen's Surfin' Bird nonstop in the TS server. |
| 480 | --> '''Soviet:''' You're having a moment? He's having a moment. ''(beat)'' [[UnfriendlyFire Can someone frag him?]] |
| 481 | --> '''Digby:''' ''(scatting)'' Well everybody's heard, about the bird-- |
| 482 | --> '''Soviet:''' Someone please frag him. You are ruining my immersion! |
| 483 | ** Soviet later gets sufficiently annoyed. |
| 484 | --> '''Digby:''' Awellawella bird bird bird, a bird's a word-- |
| 485 | --> '''Soviet:''' ''(mutes TS)'' Ah, the mute button's lovely. |
| 486 | ** Sometime later: |
| 487 | --> ''(Soviet unmutes)'' |
| 488 | --> '''Digby:''' ''(still singing)'' |
| 489 | --> ''(Soviet mutes TS)'' |
| 490 | ** And a bit later: |
| 491 | --> '''Soviet:''' Let's see if he's finished. ''(unmutes TS)'' |
| 492 | --> ''(Digby is STILL singing)'' |
| 493 | * [[CallBack Soviet STILL cannot reload his gun in peace.]] |
| 494 | --> ''(Soviet reloads in an empty hallway'' [[note]][[FunWithSubtitles note that the subtitles have very much made it clear that no else has been there for quite some time]][[/note]] ''and a VC promptly appears and shoots him)'' |
| 495 | --> '''Soviet:''' Oh, [[SuddenlyShouting COME OFF IT!]] |
| 496 | * Quebec's astonishing epiphany regarding one of the locations in the map. |
| 497 | --> '''Quebec:''' I don't know whether the Rising Storm devs were being meta, but F is a Temple--[[VideoGame/CallOfDutyAdvancedWarfare where you pay your respects.]] |
| 498 | --> '''ZF:''' ''[[LamePunReaction (groans)]]'' |
| 499 | * Birdy falls victim to a classic ZF prank when she accepts Soviet's offer for him to [[UnfriendlyFire show how his flamethrower works.]] |
| 500 | --> '''Soviet:''' What do you think? |
| 501 | --> '''Birdy:''' Fuck you. |
| 502 | --> '''Soviet:''' You made it so easy! |
| 503 | --> '''Birdy:''' I thought we were friends! |
| 504 | --> '''Soviet:''' We are! [[BlatantLies We have friendly fire privileges.]] |
| 505 | ** [[TheDogBitesBack Birdy does get back at Soviet by having the server punish him for the teamkill with a time penalty, much to Soviet's dismay.]] |
| 506 | --> '''Soviet:''' You toxic bint! |
| 507 | * Soviet's team is mopping up the remaining resistance in a map and corners the enemy leader inside a building. [[MoreDakka Cue Soviet spraying his entire magazine through the walls.]] |
| 508 | --> '''Soviet:''' Did I get him? |
| 509 | --> ''(is instantly shot dead by the leader)'' |
| 510 | * Soviet consistently fails to hit the enemy even at point blank range, resulting in him [[RageQuit rage-quitting and leaving his desk in frustration.]] |
| 511 | --> '''Soviet:''' REALLY?! Really? Really. ''(splutters)'' I give up, I don't know, I-- ''(is shot dead by the enemy)'' |
| 512 | --> '''Bavon:''' Soviet? |
| 513 | --> '''Soviet:''' Fuck this shit! |
| 514 | --> '''Digby:''' You've let down the cause, Soviet. |
| 515 | --> '''Soviet:''' ''(in the distance)'' Fuck this shit! |
| 516 | ** It gets better--annoyed by his continued inability to hit the enemy, Soviet arms himself with measuring equipment and a MAS-49 Battle Rifle and starts calculating the precise distance needed from positions to effectively use the latter's grenade launcher. What follows [[SugarWiki/MomentofAwesome is a montage of Soviet wiping out entire swathes of players in a scale not seen since his rampage with the Doomsday Rounds.]] |
| 517 | --> '''Swat:''' ''(reading the Twitch chat)'' "I came from Soviet to see someone hit his targets. What a pleasure!" ''(laughs)'' |
| 518 | --> '''Soviet:''' You may hit your targets, [[BondOneLiner but I HIT my targets.]] |
| 519 | --> ''(after nine people'' [[note]]a THIRD of the ENTIRE enemy team, as the subtitles helpfully point out[[/note]] ''are killed by a series of consecutive grenades)'' |
| 520 | --> '''Digi:''' Alright, this is Soviet's world and we're just living in it. |
| 521 | [[/folder]] |
| 522 | |
| 523 | [[folder:Rust Bullshittery]] |
| 524 | !! '''Part 1''' |
| 525 | * The opening FailureMontage of Soviet hunting animals -- most of which are [[GoodBadBugs glitching out uncontrollably]] -- set to [[Film/DawnOfTheDead1978 "The Gonk."]] |
| 526 | * "I thought he was kidding when he said he built the Reichstag." ''(turns to a building with a swastika emblazoned on it)'' |
| 527 | * The entire segment where the party discovers a newly-spawned player in their world, who they then capture at gunpoint and escort them to their base, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint which he gladly complies with while asking if this is a nice server.]] They then proceed to lock him in the "Fight Club room", and force him to partake in a [[GladiatorGames cage battle to the death]] against ''another'' prisoner they had (actually Rotary) with rocks. Rotary is victorious, [[KickTheDog and everyone else shoots him down as well.]] |
| 528 | * "I love Bufkin, I want to keep him. I want to take him home. He got burnt by a fire the other day so he turned around and [[DisproportionateRetribution emptied an entire mag into it.]]" |
| 529 | * Soviet gets invited to see collage of community-drawn paint signs, which includes pictures of [[WesternAnimation/HeManAndTheMastersOfTheUniverse1983 He-Man]], an illustration of [[WesternAnimation/TheWombles an actual Womble]], the Confederate Flag, and a swastika drawn by Tom. It also prompts this conversation: |
| 530 | -->'''Gladpus''': The rose and the drowning man are two random people who came by and we invited to draw. They didn't know who you were, but they were like "Oh yeah, okay, we'll draw."\ |
| 531 | '''Soviet''': What do you mean?\ |
| 532 | '''Gladpus''': Uh, this rose and the picture of the drowning man.\ |
| 533 | '''Soviet''': No, I mean what do you mean they don't know who I am?\ |
| 534 | '''Bevrel''': [[SmallNameBigEgo You're not that famous, Womble.]] ''(entire chat bursts out laughing)'' |
| 535 | * Edberg: ''(strums a guitar)'' ♫ Womble is a faggot... ♫ ''[[BerserkButton (Soviet]] [[DisproportionateRetribution instantly]] [[BoomHeadshot headshots him)]]'' |
| 536 | * Later on, Soviet discovers another new player called Supernova outside their base at night. |
| 537 | -->'''Supernova''': Hello, can you talk? Answer me!\ |
| 538 | '''Soviet''': I'm so sorry, I can't answer you over the sound of the gunfire! ''[[KickTheDog (pulls out a gun and kills him)]]'' |
| 539 | * Soviet's interpretation of "A typical game of ''VideoGame/{{Rust}}''": He finds two new players named King Swagnar and Frost, then teaches them how to get resources and even takes them to the ZF Clan's base to get them properly equipped and armed. The next day, Soviet decides to leave them off and wishing them good luck, and as he lets them know where to find him again, [[UngratefulBastard King casually kills him with the shotgun he gave them.]] |
| 540 | * The entire ending where several members of the ZF Clan take Soviet to a small area outside their base... [[Recap/GameOfThronesS5E10MothersMercy to a sign that reads "streamer", where he's then repeatedly shot to death.]] |
| 541 | -->'''Soviet''': Did they just fucking [[Series/GameOfThrones Jon Snow]] me!? |
| 542 | |
| 543 | !! '''Part 2''' |
| 544 | * "You know, it's nights like this when you're stood looking up at that starry sky with the half-moon and it feels right to be outside in the dark touching horses." |
| 545 | * During the middle of the night, Soviet and Cyanide get [[JumpScare jump-scared]] by an enemy player named "Adolf Hitler". It's only when they shoo him off do they realize they actually know him, and Soviet calls everyone off from shooting him by saying [[ARareSentence "He's a friend! Hitler's a friend!"]], followed immediately by a photoshop of Womble and the actual Adolf Hitler laughing together [[QuoteMine under said quote.]] |
| 546 | * Soviet and Smooth Void encounter a guitar, and the former passes it to the latter to try it out: |
| 547 | --> '''Smooth Void''': ''(strums)'' [[CallBack Womble is a faggot...]]\ |
| 548 | '''Soviet''': [[BerserkButton Oh, fuck you.]] ''(blasts Smooth Void in slow-motion set to the "Critical Mission Failure" theme from'' Franchise/MassEffect'')'' |
| 549 | ** Afterwards, Soviet warns everyone that whoever sings the same thing is getting shot. [[TemptingFate Everyone in the chat immediately starts singing "Womble is a faggot".]] |
| 550 | ** Later on, Soviet encounters a guy painting on 4 signs, only having gotten up to "Womble IS A" before Soviet brains him with a torch. |
| 551 | --->'''Soviet''': Okay, I'm making a ruling here! To anyone who says "Womble is a faggot", well after that, your arse is mine! [[VerbalBackspace No no no,]] [[ThatCameOutWrong I don't mean "your arse is mine", I mean —]] |
| 552 | * During the middle of a game, Cyanide joins the voice channel to shout [[ItMakesSenseInContext "SOVIET GOT FINGERED BY A DUDE!"]] then immediately disconnects. |
| 553 | -->'''Soviet''': It was a legitimate medical procedure, it is normal for a man my age -- [[VerbalBackspace nearly normal]] for a man my age to have a prostate exam. Did he wake up at 3 A.M. just to come online and say that? |
| 554 | * Soviet follows up a [[FanDisservice naked Cyanide up a ladder]] and [[{{Squick}} freeze-frames on a view of his butt]], censored with a [[GagCensor Patreon logo]] alongside a caption reading [[ShamelessSelfPromoter "Subscriber Blackmail Time!"]] |
| 555 | --> ''"There will be a 20% increase in Patreon donations. If not [[FanDisservice I will take this image, remove the logo,]] [[BrainBleach then zoom right in and set it as the new 'new video available' notification that appears on your phone!]]"\ |
| 556 | "No, I'm not kidding! Do the right thing! Because I sure as shit won't! Donate today!"'' |
| 557 | [[/folder]] |
| 558 | |
| 559 | |
| 560 | [[folder:Space Engineers Bullshittery]] |
| 561 | !! '''Part 1''' |
| 562 | * Soviet introduces Cyanide to the game, and in particular a very large, crucifix-shaped hole that naturally spawned in an asteroid. |
| 563 | -->'''Cyanide''': OH, WHAT THE FUCK!? JESUS! IT'S JESUS! HE'S AMONG US! *Religious noises* |
| 564 | ** "Don't dance in the Jesus sign, what are you doing!?" |
| 565 | ** Shortly after: |
| 566 | --->'''Kaffe''': Build inside the cross, "Jesus Space Station".\ |
| 567 | '''Soviet''': Isn't that blasphemy?\ |
| 568 | '''Cyanide''': Yeah, because you're using science to build it, that's nonsense. [[BlatantLies Everyone knows science doesn't exist.]] |
| 569 | * While Soviet constructs a spaceship, Cyanide repeatedly nudges him out of position, leading to Soviet repeatedly threaten him if he continues doing it again. Cyanide [[BlatantLies then denies he was ever doing anything...]] [[TheGadfly then tries nudging him anyway]], zipping away on his jetpack as Soviet pulls out a drill, [[EpicFail then slamming into a satellite, killing him.]] |
| 570 | ** Later on, Cyanide repeatedly annoys Soviet by trying to do a [[Film/SpiderMan1 "Spider-Man kiss".]] |
| 571 | *** "YOU ARE NOW 'THE GAY™'". |
| 572 | * Gambit somehow manages to mangle the adage "smooth as a baby's bottom" as "smooth as a [[{{Squick}} baby's arsehole.]]" |
| 573 | -->'''Soviet''': What!?\ |
| 574 | '''Gambit''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Sorry, I mean "arse."]]\ |
| 575 | '''Soviet''': Dude! |
| 576 | * Cyanide's [[AtomicFBomb absolutely epic reaction]] upon realizing he just painted his ship two different shades of yellow. |
| 577 | * Cyanide's first ship has three grinders flimsily attached to it, and after clearly having a hard time taking off and flying, we get to witness it from a distance spinning wildly out of control as Cyanide panics, eventually resulting in the grinders breaking off and floating into space. |
| 578 | * The entire clusterfuck of an ending where they try and use Cyanide's rather tiny ship and a magnetic lock to carry some metal cargo around, and [[GoodBadBugs the resulting chaos]] that happens when he tries to find a way to get around it not having enough thrust. |
| 579 | ** Said scene also makes Womble blurt out a... highly unusual remark: |
| 580 | -->'''Womble:''' [[ItMakesSenseInContext Can you extend the penis further?]] |
| 581 | |
| 582 | !! '''Part 2''' |
| 583 | * The very beginning: |
| 584 | -->'''Cyanide''': I do remember when the second or third bullshittery came out, when you started making it into kind of a series, with the ''VideoGame/DayZ''' bullshittery thing, the amount of shit Cramps and I gave you was just incredible, and I'm so glad that you did because... [[BaitAndSwitch it was well-deserved, this is fucking trash, stop fucking doing it! Jeezus!]] |
| 585 | * Cyanide's [[CoolStarship ZF Hunter Class - Hunter]] is ''enormous'', [[CurbStompBattle managing to pulverize Soviet's ship pretty quickly...]] and also inadvertently destroying Poro's ship which just happens to be [[MacrossMissileMassacre in the crossfire.]] |
| 586 | * [[BrickJoke Gambit still hasn't grasped the phrase "smooth as a baby's bottom" yet]], but this time he only goes to "smooth as a baby." |
| 587 | -->'''Womble''': German babies, they're smooth then, are they?\ |
| 588 | '''Cyanide''': What do you think they line the autobahn with? |
| 589 | * A user named Zeb is moved to the clan's Teamspeak channel, and much to Soviet and Cyanide's surprise, [[IdenticalStranger he seems to sound exactly like Soviet.]] Everybody freaks out at this realization, [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere with Cyanide leaving because his mind can't take it.]] |
| 590 | * As Soviet and Cyanide are repairing their ship on a planet as night falls, Cyanide ([[TheLoad having depleted all their machine gun rounds by randomly firing in the air]]) gets paranoid and thinks he hears sounds in the darkness, to which Soviet decides to use the preview function to replace his character model with that of a GiantSpider (a function Cyanide is unaware of). [[JumpScare He gets so spooked]] he ends up jumping onto the roof of the ship. |
| 591 | * Cyanide ends up running out of hydrogen for his jetpack while in space, calling for Womble to stop him from floating away and save him. [[WithFriendsLikeThese Predictably,]] he instead takes the opportunity to knock his body around, [[TheDogBitesBack but then Cyanide pulls out a gun]], and then Womble finds out that ''he'' [[EpicFail ran out of hydrogen himself.]] |
| 592 | * The entirety of the Creative Mode Versus battle is equal parts awesome and hilarious. |
| 593 | ** For starters, while Soviet is explaining the rules of the battle, we have [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Gambit spazzing out due to lag with Rotary looking on in wonder.]] |
| 594 | ** The other team MacGyvering their respawn station into a battleship. |
| 595 | ** Cyanide being himself and building [[GagPenis a giant pink penis on top of the ship.]] |
| 596 | *** Which ends in disaster when the pink dong detaches while Soviet's team is testing their ship's shotgun mine barrage. |
| 597 | ** Soviet builds a torpedo and attaches a signal named [[AtomicFBomb FUCK YOOOOUUUU]] before flinging it at Quebec's base. Bonus points to Cyanide for adding [[RealMenWearPink "A little Cyanide touch"]] to it mid-flight. |
| 598 | ** "You will never defeat The Schlong!" |
| 599 | ** [[ItMakesSenseInContext "What is this- this is some sort of docking?"]] |
| 600 | |
| 601 | !! Part 3 |
| 602 | * As Womble logs into the game and asks about his ship, Cyanide drops a suspicious comment about him "watching over it." Womble immediately suspects that he did something like build a [[GagPenis 100-foot tall penis]] over it, only to instead find a ''giant'' holographic projection of Cyanide's face looming over the entire base. |
| 603 | -->'''Womble''': So I was right, you ''were'' making a 100-foot tall penis! |
| 604 | * "What the-? WHY AM I IN SPACE?! I'M IN SPACE!" |
| 605 | --> '''Soviet:''' Because we're ''Space Engineers'', ya dingus. |
| 606 | * Womble's mining ship has an [[FreudWasRight interesting shape]] that one comment remarks should be called "The Drilldo". When another Twitch viewer asks him "Why is everything you build phallic in nature?", [[BlatantLies Womble denies this]], [[DescriptionCut then cut to a montage of several past streams over many games of him doing just that]]. |
| 607 | ** Later, he figures he could add additional appendages to make it look like a human shape, rechristening it "The Drillbro", complete with "laser nipples" (specifically, small laser projectors spelling out "nipple" in text). |
| 608 | ** Even later, he finds that the Drillbro had [[GagPenis an additional large hydrogen tank strapped to its "crotch".]] |
| 609 | --->'''Womble''': What is that, a "chode" they call it in America?\ |
| 610 | ''(ZF Tom enters Teamspeak)''\ |
| 611 | '''Womble''': [[VitriolicBestBuds Ahh, speaking of which]]... |
| 612 | ** He soon decides to equip [[ToiletHumor an ejector on the other side to dispense huge rocks]], and even uses it to crush Edberg while he's working in a tunnel below. While tunnelling underground, Womble accidentally runs into Chinny as he's also digging through, and as the two try to get the other out of their tunnels, Womble asserts dominance by crapping rocks onto him. |
| 613 | --->'''Chinny''': You are a child with your fucking design! |
| 614 | * "ERGH, I'm gonna bring her in to land! Nice, controlled descent! CONTROLLED DESCENT! ''([[StuffBlowingUp offscreen explosion]])'' [[BlatantLies Perfect!"]] |
| 615 | * During Edberg's very first session of the game: |
| 616 | ** As they're starting him off on the basics and need to search for iron, Edberg decides to drill down into the surface of the moon they're on. [[TheGadfly Womble decides to board up the hole he's in with reinforced metal]], only for Edberg to escape and gun him down. |
| 617 | ** As Edberg gets exasperated from Womble's explanations, he begins slowly spinning his character in place in a cartwheeling motion. |
| 618 | --->'''Edberg''': "Basic Refinery": 10 computers, 10 motors, construction comps, steel plates... ''a hundred-and-twenty steel plates!?'' Augh -- ''(begins angrily spinning)''\ |
| 619 | '''Womble''': You can't just angrily spin when you encounter any problem![[note]] To be fair to Edberg, he needs to process raw iron to make steel plates and he can't do that in a basic survival kit and have to use a basic refinery,... which costs steel plates to make. So he's stuck in a logic fallacy, as far as he knows.[[/note]] |
| 620 | * Kaffe's lander crashes hard onto the surface, presumably knocking out its engines and requiring repairs. Once Womble gets it back online however, it reveals that its engine was still left on and begins lifting off, and the two become unable to catch it as it drifts its way into space. |
| 621 | -->'''Womble''': Kaffe's dropship has gone off to fucking Narnia! |
| 622 | * Once Edberg gets his first ship up and running, he begins cursing out Clang (the memetic "god" of ''Space Engineers''' physics engine, [[MemeticTroll known for causing things to go haywire at random]]), [[TemptingFate effectively daring him to enact his in-game wrath.]] Cut to a brief FailureMontage of Edberg exploding several times. |
| 623 | * Cyanide is trying to come in to their base, only to be shot at by the base's autocannons. Soviet turns them off long enough for Cy to reach safety and try another angle, [[TheGadfly only to turn them on again when Cy's not looking]]. |
| 624 | ** Then Cyanide gets stuck in a crater and has a hard time getting out. Alsadair offers to make a ramp with his mining ship, but Soviet and Cyanide decline, Soviet likening it to baby turtles. |
| 625 | --> '''Soviet:''' You're not supposed to help baby turtles get into the ocean. They must learn to do it themselves. |
| 626 | --> '''Edberg:''' What happens if the baby turtle is missing a chromosome? |
| 627 | ** As Cyanide is struggling to get out, Soviet tells him to hit Y to activate traction. Cyanide presses it, and then Womble says [[{{Troll}} that it might shut off the reactor for the lander, but he can't remember.]] |
| 628 | ** Once Cyanide is out of the crater, they warn him to watch out for the second hole. |
| 629 | --> '''Cyanide:''' [[WaitWhat For the what]]? |
| 630 | ** Then he finally [[HopeSpot gets to the base]]... only [[YankTheDogsChain to be shot by the active autocannons Soviet left on this whole time]]. |
| 631 | --> '''Cyanide:''' I WORKED SO HARD! SO HA-A-ARD. ''*begins to cry*'' Dude! |
| 632 | --> '''Soviet:''' I not only lied about the turrets but I gave them more ammo. |
| 633 | --> '''Cyanide:''' ''*wailing*'' I hate you so much... |
| 634 | --> '''Soviet:''' Oh dear... JOB DONE. |
| 635 | ** The last part of them is Soviet holding up a thumbs up to the camera. |
| 636 | |
| 637 | !!Part 4 |
| 638 | * Remember Cy's holographic head? Turns out the others planned for Soviet's exact reaction and took precautions, protecting the projector and ensuring that it will run for ''centuries.'' |
| 639 | ** The thumbnail for the episode is a shot of Cyanide's gigantic holographic head peeking over the horizon of the moon. |
| 640 | ** When Soviet asks Cyanide what the context of the picture was, he replies that he was getting a burger, prompting Soviet to call it his "food lust face." |
| 641 | * Someone has gone and painted the ''entire base'' pink, just to upset Soviet. Even the blocks he hasn't finished yet are painted pink. |
| 642 | * Chinny calls Soviet over, telling him that he mastered the rotor, leading Soviet to notice what can only be described as a giant rotisserie, Soviet [[LampshadeHanging lampshades]] this. |
| 643 | --> '''Soviet:''' Is this how you've been spending your time? We're building like various ships and airlocks and complicated mechanisms and you've built a rotisserie? |
| 644 | --> '''Chinny:''' I'm a [[{{Pun}} rotisserie Chinny]]. |
| 645 | ** Shortly after, Soviet proceeds to shoot it until it blows up, much to Chinny's annoyance. |
| 646 | * Social has a button specifically made for when Soviet and Cyanide are bickering. |
| 647 | * "Guys, who carved a penis in the side of the moon?" |
| 648 | * At one point the conversation drifts into posh things everyone has eaten, somehow revealing what sort of pet owner Soviet is. |
| 649 | --> '''Soviet:''' I had lobster once. It was weird, I dunno. |
| 650 | --> '''Alisdair:''' I heard that it gave you nightmares... |
| 651 | --> '''Soviet:''' It gave Lulu nightmares. |
| 652 | --> '''Alisdair:''' You fed lobster to...!? |
| 653 | --> '''Soviet:''' No, I chased her 'round the flat with a lobster. Because I'm that kind of an owner. |
| 654 | * Soviet misplaced the Racist Bell from the Rising Storm: Vietnam video, so instead he reveals the replacement: the Racist Yankee IKEA Fragrance Candle. |
| 655 | * Alasdair making a rotating signboard that says "SOVIET WOMBLE - WHEN IS - THE NEXT - BULLSHITTERY" and Soviet's response, which is to blast it off of Alasdair's ship and cart it off into deep space. |
| 656 | * Social trying to park his far-too-large ship in the base's hanger, which is made even more hilarious because of it's phallic shape. When he flies it in so hard he breaks some of the equipment inside the hangar, the subtitles pop up with "base needs chocolates and a cushion." Then Social tries to park it in the even smaller backup hanger next to it, which is labeled the base's "backdoor." |
| 657 | -->'''Soviet''': [[DoubleEntendre Don't just ram it in, you Neanderthal! A gentleman always indicates before he changes lanes!]] |
| 658 | ** Midway through this, Alasdair returns with the signboard from before, only now it's a hologram so Soviet can't destroy the signboard. So instead Soviet rams Alasdair's ship to destroy it. |
| 659 | ** Soviet's Drillbro ship is hit by Social's ship, so Soviet goes to rescue it. But Drillbro takes damage on the way out, and when Soviet zooms out to see the exterior of the ship. It turns out that the lower half of the ship is gone, which prompts him to rename it "Disabledbro." |
| 660 | [[/folder]] |
| 661 | |
| 662 | [[folder:SWAT 4 Bullshittery]] |
| 663 | !! '''Part 1''' |
| 664 | * The entire party spends an entire bit at the beginning of a mission teabagging a wounded civilian outside the building... until Cyanide realizes there are civilians past the blockade calmly staring at them. |
| 665 | -->'''Soviet:''' Hello! Hi there, civilians! Protect and serve, protect and serve. |
| 666 | * Soviet's run-in with two pairs of enemy ragdolls who pile up [[HoYay rather suggestively]]. |
| 667 | * World Politics represented with a SWAT team: Womble (Britain) tells everyone to stop tasing each other, only for him, Cyanide (India) and Gambit (Germany) to all get tased before even entering the building by Phoenix (America), proclaiming "YOU'RE ALL MY BITCHES! ALL OF YOU!" |
| 668 | * The entire scene of Soviet and Phoenix [[EpicFail repeatedly failing to enter in a door at the same time.]] |
| 669 | * Gambit plays a mission by gunning down every criminal in sight without even declaring himself as Police. After several seconds of this, Cyanide calls for a re-do. While they restart the mission, the clan laughs about it: |
| 670 | -->'''Cyanide:''' That's so German! "Zey did not comply, so I shot zem!" |
| 671 | * The ending where upon discovering in-game graffiti reading "Deb is a whore", Soviet slaps down the game's manual to find a "Deb" in the credits, then sends an email to "deb@[[Creator/IrrationalGames irrationalgames]].conm"... only to find that Creator/IrrationalGames shut down. |
| 672 | |
| 673 | !! '''Part 2''' |
| 674 | * '''Gambit''': [[PreAssKickingOneLiner Knock knock.]] ''(opens the door and begins shooting the empty hallways)'' |
| 675 | * [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill The sheer amount of tasers the squad uses to subdue a single target.]] |
| 676 | -->'''[[Series/SesameStreet Count von Count]]''': I will count them! 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH!!! ''[[FunWithSubtitles (The word of the day is: "excessive force")]]'' |
| 677 | * Cyanide brings [[CripplingOverspecialization a sniper rifle into a close-range children's arcade]], and repeatedly fails to hit any targets. He even fails to shoot a fire extinguisher at point-blank range ''three times'', [[EpicFail with his last bullet ricocheting and shooting a hostage in the room.]] |
| 678 | * The clan somehow tops getting stuck in a door from last time as Soviet, Gambit, and Cyanide attempt to go through a door at the same time, all of them getting stuck for a full ''5 minutes''. |
| 679 | * Soviet peeks from under a door and sees a gunman aiming at him on the other side. While Soviet warns the rest of his team to watch out for said gunman, Cyanide suddenly walks up and opens the door Soviet was peeking at. Soviet looks up just long enough to see the gunman before he gets killed. |
| 680 | * At one point during a mission, [[SanitySlippage Cyanide abruptly starts going crazy, running around a hallway and saying "Physics! Physics!" seemingly to himself]]. Gambit has to [[PercussiveMaintenance bean him with a non-lethal round to get him functioning again]]. |
| 681 | * [[BrokenRecord "What's happening? The door is blocked!]] [[ArtificialStupidity What's happening? The door is blocked!]] [[OverlyLongGag What's happening? The door is blocked!"]] |
| 682 | ** When the team finally opens after 5 minutes, the criminal gets met with ''[[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill everyone's tasers all at once,]]'' a flashbang, and a "rape whistle." |
| 683 | --->'''Gambit''': [[BondOneLiner Now you know why the door is locked.]] ''(slaps the criminal)''\ |
| 684 | '''Soviet''': And what's happening. |
| 685 | [[/folder]] |
| 686 | |
| 687 | [[folder:Viscera Cleanup Detail Bullshittery]] |
| 688 | * ZF Tom's [[SanitySlippage manic obsession]] with the bucket spawner, leading him to filling up an entire hallway with buckets as the rest of the clan's back is turned. |
| 689 | --> '''Tom''': ''(offscreen)'' [[LargeHam More buckets!]]\ |
| 690 | '''Soviet''': Wait, woah woah woah, did we leave Tom alone with the bucket machine? ''(finds him)'' Oh, for fuck's sake, Tom! Stop spawning buckets!\ |
| 691 | '''Tom''': [[MadnessMantra MORE BUCKETS!]] THERE'S NEVER ENOUGH BUCKETS! |
| 692 | ** Eventually, the server actually crashes, which Tom believes was because he spawned too many buckets. |
| 693 | ** Later in a low-gravity area, Tom gets caught fiddling with the biohazard container spawner. |
| 694 | ** Not much later, Zeis develops a similar obsession with washing other players, all while shouting [[MadnessMantra "UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN! DIRTY FUCKING FILTHY PEASANTS! UNCLEAN!"]] |
| 695 | * The group eventually decides to go irreverent and begins mopping blood all over the rooms they're supposed to be cleaning. Once again, the server crashes. |
| 696 | ** After Edberg proudly shows Womble his "art", Womble comments "If you're not on a no-fly list somewhere in the world, someone is not doing their job." |
| 697 | * While cleaning in a space-ship, Soviet decides to open up the airlock to toss some trash out, but the resulting low-gravity screws up Cake's delicately stacked-up crates on the other side of the room, causing her to have a minor meltdown as he apologizes and fails to fix it. |
| 698 | * In Soviet and Cyanide's session, Cyanide briefly goes AFK, leaving Soviet to talk to himself. |
| 699 | --> '''Soviet''': Yeah, Cyanide's talking to his girlfriend, I reckon. I ''also'' talk to Cyanide's girlfriend! And by talk, I mean send penis pictures, and I get penis pictures ba--\ |
| 700 | '''Cyanide''': ''[[IsThisThingStillOn (from a distance)]]'' No you fucking don't! |
| 701 | * Soviet's annoyance with Polka 2180 from the Big Banger leads to Cyanide capturing and protecting it just to torment him. Soviet later finds it and [[KillItWithFire attempts to jam it in the incinerator]], but Cyanide manages to get it back and leaves it running from a high, hard-to-reach spot. |
| 702 | * In a later session, the clan are told how a friend named JFJ, [[ItMakesSenseInContext who was previously thought to be a legless guy in a wheelchair]], actually does have legs and has been trolling them by showing fake pictures and videos of his stumps. When he's brought in and reluctantly confirms he does have legs, they also bring in Cramps, the chat's admin, who proceeds to [[ActuallyPrettyFunny tag him into the clan as "[ZF] JFJ"]]. Then immediately bans him for three hours. |
| 703 | [[/folder]] |
| 704 | |
| 705 | [[folder:We Were Here Bullshittery]] |
| 706 | * In the game's lobby room, with Soviet and Cyanide picking their roles: |
| 707 | -->'''Cyanide''': I get to be the Explorer because I'm the man with the big jaw and the lovely, sexy body and I'm the one that's adventurous and Indiana Jon--\ |
| 708 | '''Soviet''': [[AnalogyBackfire You're also the one on the floor, and I'm the one picking you up, presumably, 'cause you're rubbish]].\ |
| 709 | '''Cyanide''': [[{{Touche}} Maybe]]. |
| 710 | * As the two start the game, the two try and figure out where they are via the walkie-talkies: |
| 711 | -->'''Cyanide''': I think you've got to help me using whatever resources you have in your library--I presume you're in a library, are you in a library?\ |
| 712 | ''(cut to Soviet's camera who is indeed in a library)''\ |
| 713 | '''Soviet''': Uh... [[BlatantLies I'm a casino, it's like full of hookers and slot machines, it's awesome, in fact! It's much better than your room, waaayy better.]] |
| 714 | ** As they're communicating on the first hieroglyphic puzzle, both of them realize something with the walkie-talkies: |
| 715 | --->'''Soviet''': So the backwards "Z" according to the chart...\ |
| 716 | ''([[WalkieTalkieStatic zzt]])''\ |
| 717 | '''Cyanide''': --roglyph.\ |
| 718 | '''Soviet''': Oh shit, I think we're talking over each other.\ |
| 719 | '''Cyanide''': Oh good! I can just cut you o--\ |
| 720 | ''[[HoistByHisOwnPetard (zzt)]]''\ |
| 721 | '''Soviet''': Like that, see? I can just cut you off, it's brilliant.\ |
| 722 | '''Cyanide''': I can hear you-- ''(zzt)'' Oi! ''(zzt)'' You have got--''(zzt)''--massively inadequate--''(zzt)''--enis. |
| 723 | ** Much to Soviet's behest, Cyanide doesn't respond to him through the walkie talkie unless he ends with "over." Unfortunately, this leads to a bit of confusion once they solve the puzzle. |
| 724 | --->'''Soviet''': Okay, now what? Err-- over.\ |
| 725 | '''Cyanide''': ''(zzt)''--over.\ |
| 726 | '''Soviet''': Over.\ |
| 727 | '''Cyanide''': What? Over?\ |
| 728 | '''Soviet''': Over.\ |
| 729 | '''Cyanide''': You're just saying "Over"?\ |
| 730 | '''Soviet''': I thought you were being sarcastic, do you have a message or not?\ |
| 731 | '''Cyanide''': No, you dickhead, I said it's done! I got through the fucking door!\ |
| 732 | '''Soviet''': Ah, I didn't hear that bit, over. |
| 733 | * "I've been led into a room where [[ItMakesSenseInContext two nipples hanging down from the ceiling]], err... a staircase leading down into water... [[ExplainExplainOhCrap THAT IS SLOWLY RISING, OH SHIT, OI!]]" |
| 734 | ** Following the valve puzzle, Soviet decides to troll Cyanide by suddenly leaving to go to the bathroom for five minutes. Unfortunately, Cyanide fires back when he returns by leaving his walkie talkie with hold music. |
| 735 | --->'''Cyanide''': I'm sorry, we are experiencing higher traffic than usual. Please visit www.twitch.tv/cyanideplaysgames.\ |
| 736 | '''Soviet''': ''[[BerserkButton Really!?]]'' Really? He's promoting himself over the hold music!? I hate this man. I actually hate this man, and I can't do anything about it because he's jamming the damn radio!\ |
| 737 | ''(time passes)''\ |
| 738 | '''Cyanide''': Thank you for your patience. You will now be connected with our customer service representative, Jeffery. ''([[OperatorFromIndia with a louder Indian accent]])'' [[NoIndoorVoice HELLO, THIS IS JEFFERY, HOW CAN I HELP YOU]]?\ |
| 739 | '''Soviet''': You are a massive, massive, idiot. |
| 740 | * The next puzzle has Cyanide with a giant chessboard out in the cold, and is slowly freezing. Soviet takes the time to mess with a film project to watch ''Film/HarryPotter'' movies. |
| 741 | --->'''Cyanide''': Freezing to death even more!\ |
| 742 | '''Soviet''': Okay, stand by, I'm just watching a film.\ |
| 743 | '''Cyanide''': Mate, this is not the time to be watching Harry Potter!\ |
| 744 | '''Soviet''': [[SkewedPriorities I really like Harry Potter]]! ''(turns on'' Film/HarryPotterAndThePhilosophersStone'')''\ |
| 745 | '''Cyanide''': Soviet!\ |
| 746 | '''Soviet''': ''(watching'' Film/HarryPotterAndTheChamberOfSecrets'')''\ |
| 747 | '''Cyanide''': ''(freezes even more)'' AAAARGHHH! |
| 748 | ** The two fail their first attempt due to miscommunication on the steps. |
| 749 | --->'''Cyanide''': I'm going to slit your throat and shit down your fucking gullet.\ |
| 750 | '''Soviet''': Okay, truth be told, [[NeverMyFault I think that was your fault, really]]. |
| 751 | ** Cyanide gets much more impatient during the puzzle: |
| 752 | --->'''Soviet''': The right side, erm... er... "horse"... erm, fuck, hang on, I gotta play the tape again.\ |
| 753 | ''(Cyanide's screen continues freezing)''\ |
| 754 | '''Cyanide''': [[CasualDangerDialogue Oh, I am actually going to die now]].\ |
| 755 | '''Soviet''': Go to the black side!\ |
| 756 | '''Cyanide''': Yes, I've been standing there for the last 2 minutes, next!?\ |
| 757 | '''Soviet''': Can you stop yelling at me? I'm losing my-- okay, okay, you ready?\ |
| 758 | '''Cyanide''': STOP ASKING ME IF I'M READY AND JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING INSTRUCTIONS!\ |
| 759 | '''Soviet''': Right! The--the pawn that's in front of the black horse on the right, move it one pace forward.\ |
| 760 | '''Cyanide''': ''(moves it)'' Next...\ |
| 761 | '''Soviet''': Right, the black horse that's behind the pawn you just moved, [[BuffySpeak move it to the... the left— the square to the left of that pawn.]]\ |
| 762 | '''Cyanide''': I CAN'T MOVE TWO BLACK MOVES IN ONE!\ |
| 763 | '''Soviet''': Yes you can! You--cuh--wha--it just did! The film just did that!\ |
| 764 | '''Cyanide''': ''[[ArtisticLicenseSports THAT'S NOT HOW CHESS WORKS!]]'' |
| 765 | ** After they finally solve the puzzle... |
| 766 | --->'''Soviet''': ''(laughs)'' Iiii did it, I'm amazing, I am the best at chess.\ |
| 767 | '''Cyanide''': Please stop talking before I attempt to kill you through this walkie talkie. |
| 768 | * During the first tile puzzle, Cyanide signals for Soviet to find a book with markings on them, which he describes as "the Nyan Cat thing with the happy hands," "penis", "what can only be described as a failed swastika, a dude with his hands up in the air who looks like a DJ, and what looks like a robot standing on a boat." |
| 769 | ** When Soviet finds the directions on what appears to be the corresponding book, he feels the need to read the entire passage in a whimsical voice. |
| 770 | --->'''Soviet''': I gotta do the whole thing, man! If I just read out the individual lines of the poem, the magic is lost.\ |
| 771 | '''Cyanide''': I might die for your artistic lib--''(zzt)''\ |
| 772 | '''Soviet''': ''Starting from the far east, after moving towards the north...'' |
| 773 | ** When they discover they've got the wrong book, Soviet finds another with nearly identical symbols, prompting him to ask Cyanide to be more specific. |
| 774 | --->'''Soviet''': How thick is the-- ''(sigh)'' How thick is the penis?\ |
| 775 | \ |
| 776 | "[[QuoteMine How thick is the penis?]]"\ |
| 777 | - [=SovietWomble=], 2017 |
| 778 | ** Once they've confirmed they got the right book, which reads "Starting in the far west corner, one moves north thrice": |
| 779 | --->'''Soviet''': Okay, starting right in the middle, take two steps forward.\ |
| 780 | '''Cyanide''': ''(KACHUNK)'' Dead.\ |
| 781 | '''Soviet''': ''(laughs)'' [[TheGadfly Yeah, I know, I'm just fucking with you.]]\ |
| 782 | '''Cyanide''': Oh, go fuck yourself!\ |
| 783 | \ |
| 784 | '''Soviet''': Starting in the far west corner, one moves north thrice.\ |
| 785 | '''Cyanide''': Now what?\ |
| 786 | '''Soviet''': Take one step south...\ |
| 787 | '''Cyanide''': Okay.\ |
| 788 | '''Soviet''': ...but not before taking two steps east--[[ExplainExplainOhCrap OH]]!\ |
| 789 | '''Cyanide''': ''(KACHUNK)'' OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE! |
| 790 | ** Once Cyanide makes it through, he has to direct Soviet to go through the same room. [[TheDogBitesBack He takes the opportunity for some revenge.]] |
| 791 | --->'''Cyanide''': Okay, I'm gonna put on a mystical voice, because this looks like a mystical text, alright? ''(turns on reverb) In the western corner, lies your strat... [[MoodWhiplash strat? START! FUCK!]]'' |
| 792 | * In the final puzzle, Cyanide is on the stage of a theatre, with Soviet operating the cutout displays of characters and locations. Before they start the play, they get accustomed to what lever pulls out what. |
| 793 | --->'''Cyanide''': Don't bring it back out, numpty, put it back in!\ |
| 794 | '''Soviet''': [[HehHehYouSaidX Heheheh... heh—sorry.]] |
| 795 | ** As soon as they start the performance, Cyanide freaks out at the sudden appearance of the PerversePuppet at the end of the theatre that's slowly moving toward the stage. |
| 796 | --->'''Cyanide''': WHAT THE SHIT... SOVIET!\ |
| 797 | '''Soviet''': What? What!? ''(starts pulling levers)''\ |
| 798 | '''Cyanide''': [[MotorMouth I don't like that, I don't like that, I really, really don't fucking like that, you pulled some fucking lever and there's some fucking creature in the fucking back of the fucking auditorium]]--''STOP PULLING FUCKING LEVERS!'' |
| 799 | ** As Cyanide gets more and more panicked... |
| 800 | ---> '''Cyanide''': Soviet, that thing's getting closer...\ |
| 801 | '''Soviet''': I know, but you need to tell me what do you need to put on stage, dude?\ |
| 802 | '''Cyanide''': The kids, the kids! I need the fucking kids! ''(beat)'' [[LessDisturbingInContext Please don't take that out of context, I'm not a pedophile.]]\ |
| 803 | \ |
| 804 | "[[QuoteMine I need the kids.]]"\ |
| 805 | - Cyanide 2017 |
| 806 | ** "It's like reaching out for a hug and I don't want to hug it 'cause ''you're fucking disgusting!''" |
| 807 | * In the game's ending, you're forced to pull a SadisticChoice where SomeoneHasToDie as only one of the two players can escape the castle. Cyanide simply has Soviet stand on the pressure plate [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere and breaks for it]] before he can even realize there was a SadisticChoice involved. |
| 808 | [[/folder]] |
| 809 | |
| 810 | [[folder:Holdfast: Nations at War Bullshittery]] |
| 811 | !! '''First Video''' |
| 812 | * "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnud3VjXebY Holdfast: Nations at War shows the brutal reality of 19th century musket warfare...]]" is hilarious in the sheer amount of things going on. For extra humor points, bear in mind that as many viewers can attest, this insanity is ''the norm'' among the game's community rather than the exception. |
| 813 | ** Several soldiers speaking in [[BrooklynRage obnoxious Brooklyn accents]] throughout the video: |
| 814 | --->'''Soldier 1''': Hey, medic, I got shot in the ass, get over here!\ |
| 815 | '''Soldier 2''': Hey! Joey Patooie, how you doin'?\ |
| 816 | '''Soldier 1''': How you doin'?\ |
| 817 | '''Soldier 2''': How you doin'? [[Film/MidnightCowboy I'm walkin' here!]]\ |
| 818 | '''Soldier 1''': '''''I'M''' WALKIN' HERE!'' |
| 819 | *** At one point, Womble expresses doubt that these are British soldiers. |
| 820 | --->'''Womble''': Where the hell are you from?\ |
| 821 | '''"British" Soldier''': [[{{Southies}} South Yorkshire]]! |
| 822 | ** As they are in line, some of the men burst into German and talk about german sausage. |
| 823 | ** A random officer jumping up and down, laughing all the time. |
| 824 | ** Someone randomly smelling men in a line until Platoon Leader Dinklebean tells them to stop. It's implied it's a girl doing the smelling. |
| 825 | *** Dinklebean himself is rather hilarious in his appearances through the video, [[TheComicallySerious as he seems to be one of the few players actually acting playing out his role]] as [[StiffUpperLip a stuffy British commander]], even as he interacts with the soldiers using the above Brooklyn accents. |
| 826 | --->'''Dinklebean''': (''as soldiers shout "I'M WALKIN HERE!" during a charge'') Why are there so many gentlemen from the colonies? |
| 827 | ** A player named KRRC calling out a "crazy bastard" on trying some kind of cult sacrifice before getting hit by an artillery shell. |
| 828 | ** "Someone's vaping. Who's vaping?" |
| 829 | ** Reeeeeeeee! ''REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-'' *DENIED* |
| 830 | --->'''Soldier Who Sounds Like Joe Pesci''': WHAT 'DA HELL IS WRONG WIT'CHU?! |
| 831 | ** A group of soldiers dancing to a trumpet version of Music/JustinTimberlake's "Can't Stop the Feeling" as someone runs by having a [[TheImmodestOrgasm "Nepgasm."]] |
| 832 | ** Womble breaking down and yelling "My immersion!" |
| 833 | ** "My nipples are hard." "What?" |
| 834 | ** Happy Hitler selling drugs on the battlefield. |
| 835 | --->'''Womble''': Remember, kids: Don't buy drugs off Hitler. |
| 836 | ** "[[DoubleEntendre I got a musket you can blow]]." |
| 837 | ** Womble summing it all up with "[[{{Understatement}} This is a tad silly]]." |
| 838 | !! '''Part 1''' |
| 839 | * From the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKrwnPEKi5c actual Bullshittery video]]: |
| 840 | ** The intro, where Soviet is narrating the status of his side's artillery emplacements. |
| 841 | -->'''Soviet''': Right; how many cannons do we have? We have two and a mortar piece. |
| 842 | -->''(cannon is hit by an enemy shell)'' |
| 843 | -->'''Soviet''': ''([[{{Beat}} brief pause]])'' We have ''one'' and a mortar piece. |
| 844 | -->''(mortar shell lands on top of the other cannon.)'' |
| 845 | -->'''Soviet''': .... we have a mortar piece. |
| 846 | ** Soviet is confused over why he can't aim down the sights - he ''is'' aiming down them, but to reflect how horribly inaccurate muskets were, it doesn't do much to help. |
| 847 | ** Soviet and another British officer while fighting the French: |
| 848 | -->'''Colonel Haybales''': Get your arse behind this barricade, and unleash that gunpowder into Napoleon's peasants! |
| 849 | -->'''Soviet''': Sarge! I don't want to die here, Sarge! I don't want to die here! |
| 850 | -->'''Colonel Haybales''': We are not going to die here, sir! We are British! We do not die! |
| 851 | -->'''Soviet''': ''[[InstantlyProvenWrong (dies in British)]]'' |
| 852 | -->'''Colonel Haybales''': Oh, shit. |
| 853 | ** "Dinkle, I love you." "I love you, too, Mussolini. [[ARareSentence Never thought I'd say that]]." |
| 854 | ** Apparently, the "I'M WALKIN' HERE!" lines from his previous video turned it into a full on meme in the Holdfast community, with an entire army rushing into battle yelling "I'M CHARGIN' HERE!" in New York accents. |
| 855 | ** On a more meta level, KJ, who does most of the Boston/New York accents, is the same guy who did the pixie-sneezes in the Antistasi ARMA series. |
| 856 | ** KJ's attempt to survive as the last British soldier alive involves him shouting a mix of pleas to leave him alone, an offer to betray his own faction and threats of bodily harm to the opposing side, culminating in a final stand where he killed three enemies in a row before dying. |
| 857 | --->'''KJ/KKRC''': If you come anywhere closer I'm gonna take out this pistol and [[AssShove shove it up your asshole]] okay? I promise, don't make me do it. |
| 858 | --->'''KJ/KRRC''': Come on let's have a swordfight come on! ''[[NeverBringAKnifeToAGunFight (immediately pulls a gun and shoots one of the enemies)]]'' |
| 859 | ** The sheer Pythonesque quality of the following exchange: |
| 860 | --->'''Soldier''': I hit one, Sir! Sir, I hit one! |
| 861 | --->'''Officer''': Well done! Where did you aim, Sir? |
| 862 | --->'''Soldier''': At the enemy, Sir! |
| 863 | ** Dinklebean's extended speech as he leads the British to battle: |
| 864 | -->'''Dinklebean''': Right, gentlemen! We are the bravest and most superior men on this battlefield! Listen to my sweet, posh, upper-class accent, and you can trust me when I say that have this position merely because my father was rich, and I possess no real military qualities. Please entrust me with your survival! |
| 865 | -->'''Soviet''': [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Well, I'm sold.]] |
| 866 | -->'''Dinklebean:''' Right here were are, look at the French. You can smell them from here! Take in the air! ''(SNIFF)'' I smell piss! That might be me though. |
| 867 | -->''(they line up to fight)'' |
| 868 | -->'''Dinklebean''': Come on boys, do me proud! Cut them down! Be a proud Britishman, kill- ''(the man next to him gets shot in the head)'' -oh dear. |
| 869 | -->''(the remains of the British reform elsewhere after Dinklebean gets them mostly killed)'' |
| 870 | -->'''Dinklebean''': This is the last stand gentlemen! All we stand for! The British Empire and all of her colonies. King George, his brilliant majesty - who we can all agree is quite barmy. TAKE AIM! FIRE! |
| 871 | ** FridgeBrilliance here: Military commissions were indeed purchased by rich men in the British army, but one had to prove that one was capable of leading the commission in question. You were only qualified to buy it if you had military experience. Dinklebean revealed his inexperience as a joke, but the in-universe backstory here could say that his father bought the commission ''because HE was gonna lead the men into battle''. Dinklebean simply got the wrong idea and basically stole the commission from his father. |
| 872 | ** One of Womble's teammates recognizes him. |
| 873 | -->'''British Soldier''': Is that ''the'' Soviet Womble? |
| 874 | -->'''Soviet''': Oh, God. |
| 875 | -->'''British Soldier''': [[MemeticMutation Fix your upload schedule!]] |
| 876 | -->'''Soviet''': ''[[ActuallyPrettyFunny (bursts out laughing)]]'' |
| 877 | ** Digby is made an officer and tries to take command over a firing line. The actual commander responds with "authoritative spitting." ''Multiple times''. |
| 878 | ** Dinkle's over the top reaction every time Digby dies. |
| 879 | --->'''Dinklebean''': GET ME A SURGEON WHO CAN FIX DEATH! |
| 880 | *** The second time it happened: |
| 881 | --->'''Dinklebean''': DIGBY HAS BEEN HIT! Digby, I'm sorry I promised your wife that--(shooting his gun at the enemy) YOU BASTARDS!--I would get you home safely. [[DoubleEntendre I'll take good care of her.]] |
| 882 | --->''(Dinkle turns towards another player, a supposed surgeon)'' |
| 883 | --->'''Dinklebean''': Surgeon, is there nothing you can do for this officer? |
| 884 | --->'''"Surgeon"''': I can try. ''(the "surgeon" crouches beside Digby's body and turns around, farting on it)'' |
| 885 | --->'''Dinklebean''': What are you do--you're not qualified are you? |
| 886 | ** During one match, the British are highly disciplined with good lines and ordered shooting drills. Their French opponents, on the other hand.... |
| 887 | -->'''French Officer''': Gather around and take a knee. take a knee everyone! You have the [[BiggusDickus biggest penises]] in France! Napoleon loves you! You're going to come with me, we're going to kill those pig-dogs, we're going to take their women, and we're going to satisfy them! Press the B button! [[labelnote:Note]]Pressing B triggers your side's battle cry[[/labelnote]] Allons-y! |
| 888 | -->'''French Soldiers''': VIVE LA FRANCE! VIVE LA FRANCE! VIVE LA FRANCE! |
| 889 | |
| 890 | !! '''Part 2''' |
| 891 | * Dinklebean is still the same StiffUpperLip officer as ever. |
| 892 | -->'''Dinklebean:''' Morning, gents! How are we all?\ |
| 893 | '''Soviet:''' Good morning, sir!\ |
| 894 | '''Unknown Soldier:''' D'day mate, yeah I'm feeling fucking fine.\ |
| 895 | '''Dinklebean:''' Oh, there's an Aussie. [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Oooh]], and what's your sentence, sir? |
| 896 | * Soviet manages to shoot and kill a player called "Coronavirus". Note that they're roleplayers in the ''19th century''. |
| 897 | -->'''Soviet:''' Sir, I've killed Coronavirus.\ |
| 898 | '''Dinklebean:''' Aah, excellent! What the hell's that?\ |
| 899 | '''Soviet:''' I don't know, sir. |
| 900 | * "SOMEONE SHOOT THAT BASTARD WHO THINKS HE'S A [[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim DRAGONBORN]], GET HIM!" |
| 901 | * Soviet becomes a spectator of a match, where Digby is in command, and he finds that the French have managed to set up perfect kill squadrons to annihilate Digby's troops. What follows is a classic case of HollywoodTactics because Digby gives the order to [[LeeroyJenkins "CHAAAAARGE!"]] |
| 902 | * A new patch to the game added artillery and cannon to the game. Soviet's officer says it's nothing to worry about, [[TemptingFate "it's merely for show]]." What comes next is an apt demonstration montage of just why artillery at this time period was considered "the King of the Battlefield," compared to the Infantry's "Queen." |
| 903 | * While being chased by enemies playing Crab Rave over their mics: [[ARareSentence "Oh God! Help, I'm being chased by memes! Memes are chasing me!"]] |
| 904 | [[/folder]] |
| 905 | |
| 906 | [[folder:Team Fortress 2 Bullshittery]] |
| 907 | * Soviet sees the enemy team and makes fun of how goofy they look. ''Then'' he takes a look at his own team... |
| 908 | * Let's just get this out of the way and leave it here: Quebec is a veteran player of Team Fortress 2, and he's a Spy player with the [[GameBreaker Dead Ringer watch]]. As a result, about half the video consists of various clan members, especially Soviet, screaming in rage at Quebec after he's killed them, then attempting (and failing) to kill him in return. |
| 909 | ** At one point, one of the clan members named Gary, playing a Heavy, apparently spots Quebec coming toward him while he's stuck in place eating a Sandvich. Cue him panicking and screaming right before Quebec knifes him. |
| 910 | ** Here is a collection of some of the stuff the ZF Clan had to say about Quebec stabbing them: |
| 911 | --->'''Soviet:''' Quebec, fuck you, sir.\ |
| 912 | '''Gary:''' Oh, it wasn't an Edberg, it was a Quebec!\ |
| 913 | '''[=SwatKnight=]:''' Oh, FUCK OFF, QUEBEC!\ |
| 914 | '''Edberg:''' Quebec, [[Film/{{Taken}} I will find you, and I will kill you]].\ |
| 915 | '''Soviet:''' Half the time I'm stuck on Quebec.\ |
| 916 | '''[=DigitalVagrant=]:''' Damnit, damnit, Quebec butterknifed me again!\ |
| 917 | '''Digby:''' Piss off you Spy bastard, I know that's you Q!\ |
| 918 | '''Harry:''' Nooo, Quebec, we're gonna have an issue!\ |
| 919 | '''Digby:''' (While dominated by Quebec) Fuck's sake! ''This is getting really frustrating!'' '''''What the fuck is the Pyro doing!?'''''\ |
| 920 | '''Digi:''' I fucking see you, you Spy piece of trash! Where'd you go?\ |
| 921 | '''Quebec:''' No, we're all friends here, Digi.\ |
| 922 | '''Soviet:''' (Having been backstabbed the most) Are we? '''ARE WE?''' |
| 923 | * Soviet started playing around with Source Filmmaker for this video, creating a few animations for different scenes. |
| 924 | ** Soviet leads a swift, successful attack to capture the intelligence. Except [[EpicFail it's his own team's intelligence.]] Cut to the Administrator listening to this and glaring at Miss Pauling. |
| 925 | ** Soviet, as a Medic, becoming so paranoid about Quebec that he's looking behind himself while brushing his teeth. Then the camera zooms out to show Quebec, as a Spy, is the one holding his toothbrush. |
| 926 | * Quebec is absent for the other half of the video, and when he comes back: |
| 927 | -->'''Soviet:''' Where were you last week?\ |
| 928 | '''Quebec:''' I just wanted to take a break from Team Fortress 2.\ |
| 929 | '''Soviet:''' Could you take another one? |
| 930 | * To wrap up the video we get multiple instances of Soviet as Medic getting an Ubercharge (or at the very least, ''attempting'' to) only to be shut down every time, either by the enemy team (usually Quebec), him prematurely activating it, or getting separated from whoever he was Ubering, the final instance of it consists of him keeping his back against the wall once his Uber is ready, leading to a SFM animation where he is just moments away from activating it only for time to stop as Quebec lowers his Demoman disguise before backstabbing Soviet, much to the latter's [[{{Angrish}} anger]] |
| 931 | -->'''Quebec!Spy:''' [[PreMortemOneLiner Peekaboo!]] |
| 932 | |
| 933 | [[/folder]] |
| 934 | |
| 935 | [[folder:Other Random Bullshitteries and videos]] |
| 936 | !! '''Random Dead by Daylight Bullshittery''' |
| 937 | * The sheer amount of terrified screaming and whimpering (mostly from Cyanide) made by ZF during the course of the game. |
| 938 | -->"It's like listening to fucking gibbons." |
| 939 | ** Soviet describing the premise of the game (survivors desperately hiding from serial killers looking to sacrifice them to a dark god) as being "Britain 48 hours after Brexit." |
| 940 | * The antics on their [=TeamSpeak=] in general, particularly because they're able to set the audio filters or they do something obnoxiously loud. |
| 941 | -->'''Soviet''': Hehehe... Have you put the mic up your nose?" |
| 942 | -->'''Random''': '''''WHAT DO YOU MEAN? JESUS...''''' |
| 943 | |
| 944 | !! '''Random ''VideoGame/Portal2'' Bullshittery''' |
| 945 | * The ''entire'' mess consisting of Soviet and Cyanide's [[EpicFail repeated misunderstanding of and failure]] to properly coordinate [[OnThree a "3-2-1" countdown.]] [[ChainOfCorrections It somehow goes so horribly wrong,]] you'd swear in any other context it'd be a lost Creator/AbbottAndCostello routine. When they ''[[HopeSpot do]]'' [[HopeSpot open the door]], [[ShaggyDogStory it immediately closes again]]. |
| 946 | |
| 947 | !! '''Random Fishing Planet Bullshittery''' |
| 948 | * The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAUIpvjVt-Q whole video]] is made hilarious by its ending: After completing the tutorial, they realize that despite its advertisements, [[VideoGame/FishingPlanet the game]] didn't actually support multiplayer by the time of recording, [[AntiClimax ending the video after just over three and a half minutes]]. |
| 949 | |
| 950 | !! '''Random Golf It Bullshittery''' |
| 951 | * A moment of frustration has Soviet slamming his desk in anger, which causes the [[PaintingTheMedium game screen to slip down and reveal the desktop beneath]]. Among the icons are three folders: "[[TheCutie Cake's]] Nudes", "[[TheTease Nep's]] Nudes", and "NBK's Nudes". [[HoYay The latter of which is the only one with files inside]]. |
| 952 | |
| 953 | !! '''Random ''VideoGame/FarCry3'' Bullshittery''' |
| 954 | * [[invoked]] After [[CouldHaveAvoidedThisPlot finding out]] the main character had a [[IdiotPlot working phone the entire time]]... |
| 955 | -->'''[[ImagineSpot In a more sensible universe...]]'''\ |
| 956 | '''Soviet!Jason:''' ''(on the phone)'' Hello, US Embassy in Papua New Guinea, I'm part of a group of seven ''US Citizens'' on Rook Island, six of whom are being held hostage by a group of ''slavers'', ''pirates'' and ''drugs traffickers''.\ |
| 957 | ''(Beat)''\ |
| 958 | '''Soviet!Jason:''' Also, [[CrossesTheLineTwice none of the pirates are white]].\ |
| 959 | ''(Cut to footage of a [[UsefulNotes/YanksWithTanks US Navy Carrier Group]] and [[SemperFi US Marines]] landing on an island as "[[Film/TeamAmericaWorldPolice America, F**k Yeah]]" plays, followed by the Marines shooting the pirates, shooting Vaas [[NoKillLikeOverkill repeatedly]], and rescuing the hostages)''\ |
| 960 | '''Soviet!Liza:''' Ah, we're saved. Thank you, Jason, for calling people specifically qualified ''for this exact situation'', instead of spending three days getting ''high in the jungle'', before fighting the pirates ''single-handedly'' like some sort of ''irresponsible fratboy ARSEHOLE.''\ |
| 961 | '''Soviet!Jason:''' Ah, you're very welcome Liza. You see, unlike the pirates who captured a group of ''US Citizens'' well within the reach of the [[BullyingADragon US Navy]], I do not have shit for brains.\ |
| 962 | '''Soviet!Liza:''' OH, take me!\ |
| 963 | ''(Meanwhile in normal Far Cry)''\ |
| 964 | '''Soviet:''' And here I am, [[IronicEcho attacking the pirates single-handedly]], like some irresponsible, fratboy arsehole. |
| 965 | * Later on: |
| 966 | -->'''Jason:''' What did she mean? Bring her "what has been lost"?\ |
| 967 | '''Dennis:''' Drink and you will find an answer.\ |
| 968 | '''Soviet:''' Yeah, I don't really feel safe passing out near Dennis.\ |
| 969 | '''Dennis:''' You are speaking out of fear.\ |
| 970 | '''Soviet:''' Yeah, fear you're going to brand me again!\ |
| 971 | '''Soviet:''' ''(As Jason drinks the potion)'' Everyone on this island is fucking nuts. |
| 972 | * One dream sequence later... |
| 973 | -->'''Soviet:''' ''(As Jason wakes up in front of Dennis and notices he has a new tattoo)'' Oh, FUCKING HELL, DENNIS! |
| 974 | * Earlier, Womble was being attacked by a pirate in a car, so he immediately shot the pirate in the head through the window... Only to witness what appears to be the bullet ricocheting wildly in the car, repeatedly striking the pirate's corpse, and shaking the whole vehicle wildly until it finally crashes through the window.[[note]]What really happened is that the pirate's corpse bugged out and wound up embedded in the car, and then the collision started having a panic attack as the corpse slowly migrated to the outside of the car, each little collision causing a metallic "pling" and a splash of blood, the last bump coincidentally breaking a window as the pirate finally stopped being embedded. Still, the image of the bullet causing all that havoc is too funny to pass up.[[/note]] |
| 975 | -->'''Soviet:''' ...[[BizarreAndImprobableBallistics The fuck is this gun]]!? |
| 976 | |
| 977 | !! '''I Monstrum Stream''' |
| 978 | * Quebec's CasualDangerDialogue during his playthrough of ''VideoGame/{{Monstrum}}''. |
| 979 | ** His response to his first run-in with the [[MindOverMatter Fiend]], which he only notices when it spots him and starts [[HellIsThatNoise screeching]]: |
| 980 | -->'''Quebec:''' ''(completely deadpan)''' Oh, hello there. We're going to go this way, on the grounds that you're [[DidYouJustFlipOffCthulhu an ugly fuck]] |
| 981 | * Upon acquiring a weapon: |
| 982 | --> '''Quebec:''' I do have a fire extinguisher, [[SarcasmMode the single most powerful weapon ever created]]. Power of an atomic bomb, range of a cocktail stick. |
| 983 | * Later, while trying to hide: |
| 984 | -->'''Quebec:''' Lock myself in the bathroom... if only we knew somebody that [[RunningGag had experience like that]]. |
| 985 | |
| 986 | !! '''Random ''[[VideoGame/MountAndBlade Mount & Blade: Warband]]'' Bullshittery''' |
| 987 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orKvcp3OGRw Womble's solo adventure into the game]] is full of laughs as he attempts to figure out [[GuideDangIt how the game even works]]: |
| 988 | ** During character creation, Womble chooses several somewhat unfortunate origins: |
| 989 | --->'''Text''': As a boy growing out of childhood, [you were] sent to live in the court of one of the nobles of the land.\ |
| 990 | '''Womble''': Did he molest me?\ |
| 991 | '''Text''': There, [your] first lessons were in humility...\ |
| 992 | '''Womble''': Yeah, he molested me.\ |
| 993 | '''Text''': As you waited upon the lords and ladies of the household...\ |
| 994 | '''Womble''': Jesus, how much was I moleste-- |
| 995 | ** His character background aspires to become "[[TheDreaded the one whom others hurry to obey" and tremble when his name is spoken]]. Womble punches his name as [[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S08E20SpaceMutiny "Lump Beefbroth"]]. |
| 996 | * His first skirmish with his band of hired soldiers and bandits goes successfully, even if Womble has no idea what to actually do other than stab one enemy on horseback and shoot an already-dead corpse. During the post-battle report: |
| 997 | --->'''Womble''': ''(reads "1 Peasant Woman (1 killed)'' Sorry, a pregnant woma-- oh, sorry, a ''peasant'' woman! Sorry, I thought "Why was there a pregnant woman in the middle of a fight?", sorry, a ''peasant'' woman. ''(beat)'' [[VoodooShark Why was there a peasant woman in the middle of a fight]]? |
| 998 | * Womble enlists in a jousting tournament and chaos instantly ensues, not helped by the tremendous ArtificialStupidity, with enemies huddled up in a corner or left chasing Womble in a circle for three minutes straight. |
| 999 | * Womble's attempt at training with soldiers for experiences ends miserably, ending as a pure NoHoldsBarredBeatdown from multiple enemies wailing on him from every angle. |
| 1000 | ** Later, he's hired to train a village of peasants, and it results in him [[CurbStompBattle getting wailed on]] by nondescript bearded peasant. The game registers this as him getting down the basics of soldiering, bringing more for additional training, ''and it's the same guy.'' |
| 1001 | --->'''Womble''': You don't need any training at all! You just signed up as an excuse to hit m--''(dies)'' Oh, fuck me! |
| 1002 | * After being informed by his Twitch chat that you can get married in the game, Womble scrolls through the list of women... then changes his mind after realizing [[{{Gonk}} what they all look like]]. |
| 1003 | * Womble ends up being summoned for an army, and their first siege of an enemy castle goes awkwardly, featuring additional [[ArtificialStupidity clunky AI]], screaming men (''everyone'' [[FunWithSubtitles captioned with rumbling "AAGHH" captions]]), and Womble ending up hiding trapped in a section of the ramparts without health or weapons... and then his army abruptly wins. |
| 1004 | --->'''Womble''': ''(seeing soldiers bouncing in the overworld castle)'' Oh, they're so excited they're bouncing up and down having an orgy.\ |
| 1005 | '''Report''': After consulting with the peers of the realm, King Harlaus has decided to confer Knudarr Castle on King Harlaus.\ |
| 1006 | '''Womble''': ''(laughs)'' "Friends, countrymen, I have decided that this castle shall be awarded to myself, to meeee." |
| 1007 | * After being tasked to gather cattle for a village, he directly purchases 5 cattle from a nearby ranch, but unfortunately realizes too late ''he made himself broke doing so.'' [[FromBadToWorse Even worse]], he has no idea how to herd them, so he spends the entire day trying to shove them to their destination... and by nightfall, [[EverythingFades they completely fade out of the overworld]], [[EpicFail leaving Soviet bankrupt]] and [[LaughingMad exasperatedly cry-laughing]]. |
| 1008 | * In a truly baffling display of scripting, [[CurbStompBattle Womble gets curbstomped trying to infiltrate a castle]] and ends up thrown in the dungeon for several days, only for his party to siege it but not free him. Several days in while still trapped in the cell, Womble inexplicably gets an invitation from King Graveth for a feast ''in the middle of the battle and on the other side of the continent'', his party manages to take over the town, [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere dashes to the feast]], [[ArtificialStupidity all while]] ''[[ArtificialStupidity never freeing him]]''. |
| 1009 | |
| 1010 | |
| 1011 | !! '''Random Pavlov Bullshittery''' |
| 1012 | * Womble's first instinct to picking up a VR gun for the first time is to ''[[RecklessGunUsage point it at his face and pull the trigger multiple times]], just to see if it's loaded''. |
| 1013 | ** Later, he makes this observation about the Twitch chat integration: |
| 1014 | --->''"[[StealthInsult I think this game is saying something about streamers]], 'cause in order to read the chat..."'' ([[CrossesTheLineTwice faces the chat screen by pointing his gun at himself]]) |
| 1015 | * His attempt to "[[UnorthodoxReload reload like]] [[Franchise/TombRaider Lara Croft]]" results in him [[EpicFail completely dropping his guns]]. As he's struggling to pick them up again and figure out what to do, Yabba comes out of nowhere with a gift: [[ExplosiveStupidity a live, point-blank hand grenade]]. |
| 1016 | ** Similarly, his attempt to do a reload his break-action shotgun by putting two shells in the chambers and flicking the entire barrel closed (illustrated with footage of several games demonstrating it properly) [[EpicFail has him instead simply]] flicking the shells out of the gun.[[note]]As evidenced by one of the clips, this method of reloading is possible in real life, and this method IS supported in the game (in fact, it's the main method), so why it did not work for Soviet can be anyone's guess.[[/note]] |
| 1017 | * When two of his teammates waste their time before a match by rapidly dabbing, Soviet ends their fun [[DisproportionateRetribution with a suicide]] [[ActionBomb grenade attack]]. |
| 1018 | ** Bonus points for the screen [[JitterCam zooming in and shaking]] about on the [[BoldInflation bold text loudly proclaiming FRAG GRENADE]]. |
| 1019 | * Womble is playing with a Vive, with its front camera showing parts of his room and [[PreciousPuppy Lulu]] during downtimes, [[HilarityEnsues also demonstrating why playing in a prone room with a loving dog probably isn't the best idea]]. |
| 1020 | ** "The chat's critiquing my fashion sense. Motherfuckers, I can wear black socks and running shoes, I-- ''(Lulu pounces onto his lap)'' Ow! God! [[GroinAttack Lulu hit me in the junk]]!" |
| 1021 | ** [[CutenessProximity His shown cuddling of Lulu while waiting for the next match]] gets interrupted when the camera cuts back to the game, making Womble suddenly look like he's playing with a potted plant. |
| 1022 | ** His lying on the ground behind cover prompts Lulu to slobber all over him, leaving him effectively worthless during the entire round. |
| 1023 | --->''"Bit of a distraction, honeybun--AGGHHHHH--distraction! I'm trying to stop the terrorists!" ''(camera shakes as Lulu continues kissing his face)'' |
| 1024 | * "That's my spot, Poro!" ''(Poro slowly turns around and silently points his shotgun at Womble)'' "[[ShuttingUpNow You make a very good point]]." |
| 1025 | * "[[ItMakesSenseInContext Cyanide, get away]] [[QuoteMine from my penis]]" --[=SovietWomble=] 2018 |
| 1026 | * At one point, he sneaks up on a teammate who's aiming around a corner, and stealthily [[{{Troll}} removes the magazine]] from their gun. It takes them a few seconds to notice. |
| 1027 | * Womble's attempt to provide "covering fire" with his pistol by ''firing blindly over some sandbags with teammates in front of him'' work out about [[IJustShotMarvinInTheFace as well as you'd expect.]] |
| 1028 | ---> '''Teammate''': ''OW! THAT'S NOT COVERING FIRE '''YOU FUCKWIT!''''' |
| 1029 | |
| 1030 | !! '''Sovietwomble's and Cyanide's ''[[VideoGame/HaloCombatEvolved Halo]]'' Stream''' |
| 1031 | * Soviet and Cyanide's continuing frustration with escorting Captain Keyes, with Keyes deciding it makes complete sense to run ahead of the ''PowerArmor wearing [[SuperSoldier Super Soldiers]]''. It gets to the point that, after one particularly annoying death, Soviet asks if he can just kill Keyes, and Cyanide instantly gives him permission. After they restart, ''Cyanide'' kills him, and Soviet is completely fine with it. Cyanide ends up deciding that he has [[FearlessFool no concept of mortality]], whatsoever, with Soviet saying he's like [=CartonWaffle=]. |
| 1032 | ** After Keyes dies because he charged towards an Elite with an Energy Sword. Again: |
| 1033 | --->'''Cyanide:''' Why is he so bad?\ |
| 1034 | '''Soviet:''' [[SelfDeprecation He's worse than we are!]]\ |
| 1035 | ''(Keyes charges at an Elite and dies again)''\ |
| 1036 | '''Cyanide:''' GODDAMMIT You useless fucking idiot!\ |
| 1037 | '''Soviet:''' Fucking...well, this is why he's the captain, clearly, he stays in space, he has no combat experience on the ground whatsoever. He just ran towards them, did you see that he just ran towards them!\ |
| 1038 | '''Cyanide:''' Well, apparently he's fucking deluded and thinks he's got a fucking power... power armor suit on.\ |
| 1039 | '''Soviet:''' We should get him in ZF. |
| 1040 | ** When they ''finally'' reach the end of the level, during the cutscene where they get on the Covenant dropship: |
| 1041 | --->'''Cortana:''' Give me a minute to interface with the ship's controls,\ |
| 1042 | '''Keyes:''' No need, I'll take this bird out myself,\ |
| 1043 | '''Cyanide:''' Again, no concept of mortality whatsoever.\ |
| 1044 | ''(Keyes rams the ship into two Hunters)''\ |
| 1045 | '''Cyanide:''' What does he think he fucking is, like seriously?\ |
| 1046 | '''Soviet:''' And then he crashes into the ceiling. |
| 1047 | |
| 1048 | !! '''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EIeZBSINvY The Dancing Lich]]''' |
| 1049 | * The entire video is an incredible case of BlackComedy, with Soviet playing the part of a, well, [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin dancing lich]], terrifying the local ladies as a surprisingly well-acted, if completely disturbing character. |
| 1050 | --> '''Comment:''' I think [[SanitySlippage Womble has finally gone totally insane...]] |
| 1051 | --> '''Comment:''' Thank you, this video will be very useful against you in court. |
| 1052 | |
| 1053 | |
| 1054 | !! '''Random ''VideoGame/RocketLeague'' Bullshittery''' |
| 1055 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBfCnQCOISg A good majority of the stream]] consists of the clan making the weirdest noises possible and a bunch of [[RapidFireComedy silly, rapid-fire quotes with absolutely no context]]. |
| 1056 | ** Cyanide's "autistic mantis impression." |
| 1057 | ** Bavon sounds like an owl with a deep voice. |
| 1058 | ** Darius making suggestive noises. |
| 1059 | ** Soviet acts like a golden retriever, much to Cyanide's annoyance. |
| 1060 | ** "DON'T STOP MEEEEEEEE!!" |
| 1061 | * Nep proceeds to miss an easy goal. The ball was right in front of her ''with no defenders nearby.'' Soviet proceeds to mock her about it. |
| 1062 | * The "ethically wrong bell" as opposed to the "racist bell" (that first became a gag in Rising Storm.) |
| 1063 | -->'''Soviet''': No, we don't have an "Ethically Wrong Bell." If we had an ethically-wrong bell, it would never stop ringing. |
| 1064 | * Cyanide asking "How do you spell "league?"" [[note]] They're still on the loading screen meaning that the word league is literally ''right'' in his face! [[/note]] |
| 1065 | * Cyanide proceeds to rage at the entire clan and insults just about everyone on his team. [[{{Hypocrite}} After telling Soviet to calm down]]. |
| 1066 | -->'''Cyanide''': Do something with your fucking life, Rotary! COME ON, ROTARY!! [[EverythingsBetterWithSamurai YOUR COUNTRY PRODUCED SAMURAI]], THEN THEY PRODUCED ''YOU!'' |
| 1067 | * Nep, [[TheTease as usual]], making very suggestive commentary. |
| 1068 | -->'''Nep''': Come on... ugh... come on, yes..yes yes yes yes! Come on... perfectly centered! Come on! Go in! Come on! Go in! OH YES! |
| 1069 | -->''(...)'' |
| 1070 | -->'''Soviet''': Nep, can you stop making my chat go apeshit? |
| 1071 | -->'''Nep''': Did I do sexual stuff? |
| 1072 | -->'''Soviet''': You did sexual stuff. |
| 1073 | ** When Soviet says the above to Nep, we get a shot of the chat filled with nothing but people posting orgasm face emotes. [[FreezeFrameBonus And sandwiched in the middle of it all, barely visible, is Edberg yelling "TWAT".]] |
| 1074 | * Moley and Chubb: |
| 1075 | -->'''Moley''': Let's play strip Rocket League. |
| 1076 | -->'''Chubb''': [[TooMuchInformation But what if you're already naked?]] |
| 1077 | -->'''Moley''': Put some fucking clothes on, Chubb! |
| 1078 | -->'''Chubb''': [[LittleNo No.]] |
| 1079 | * At the end of the video, Cyanide suddenly makes a few sounds of distress. When Womble asks what is wrong, Cyanide replies that he dropped his chips on the floor. Womble tells him to let them go, as they're gone, and... |
| 1080 | --> '''Cyanide''': (''muffled'') They're not gone until I say they're gone! |
| 1081 | --> '''Womble''': Are you eating them off the floor?! |
| 1082 | --> '''Cyanide''': ...no! [''[[BlatantLies captions say yes]]''] |
| 1083 | |
| 1084 | |
| 1085 | !! '''Random Mordhau Bullshittery''' |
| 1086 | * Soviet starting [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwFYGwA62ng the stream]]: |
| 1087 | -->'''Soviet''': I'm just going to be chilling out this evening and joining at least ZF Social in Mordhau, which is a stabby-stabby run around with bows and arrows and stuff. Right, let me just unmute myself and say hi to him. |
| 1088 | -->''(Soviet unmutes and Social has filled the channel with "teamspeak full of anime"[[note]]The song is Six Trillion Years and Overnight Story[[/note]])'' |
| 1089 | -->'''Soviet''': ''(mutes again)'' On second thought, let's do a solo stream this evening. |
| 1090 | * While they're dueling, Soviet watches a match between Bundy and Social, and he bets on Social. Bundy ''[[InstantlyProvenWrong immediately]]'' kills Social. |
| 1091 | * When ZF Kyle starts interrupting duels, open season is declared on him. The ''one'' thing that gets ZF working together with relentless efficiency is ruining duels. |
| 1092 | * ZF discovering that the objectives on one map is to hunt down and kill the enemy civilians. |
| 1093 | -->'''Soviet''': This plays to our strengths as a clan! |
| 1094 | * Soviet climbs up into a tower with a longbow to take a shot, and decides that it's too far and he'll never get a kill. He fires off a random arrow, and [[AccidentalAimingSkills somehow kills someone anyway.]] |
| 1095 | -->'''Soviet''': Nah this is too far. I'll never get a kill from here. |
| 1096 | -->''(launches a random arrow and sees it kills someone)'' |
| 1097 | -->'''Soviet''': What?! Okay! [[RetroactiveWish Later today, I'll never get a blowjob from an extremely attractive brunette.]] |
| 1098 | * '''Soviet''': "I will not die to Chinny and [[FryingPanOfDoom a frying pan.]] ''(immediately gets killed by Chinny's frying pan)'' |
| 1099 | * For the majority of the first few games they actually played, the ZF clan ended up losing connection, usually followed by them all verbally sounding their frustrations with a CollectiveGroan. |
| 1100 | --> '''Soviet:''' This game can best be summarized as "Let's play this! Awwwwwwww." |
| 1101 | * During a frontline map, Soviet ended up being separated from the rest of the clan due to balancing, resulting in him attacking Bavon. 30 seconds later, Womble is then promptly murdered by the other ZF members after they hunted him down. |
| 1102 | --> '''Soviet''': Fuck off ZF! |
| 1103 | --> '''Bavon''': Come over here, Womble~ |
| 1104 | * ZF are losing an objective. |
| 1105 | -->'''Soviet''': We're losing the stable! |
| 1106 | -->'''Edberg''': [[IncrediblyLamePun Yeah, it's unstable.]] |
| 1107 | -->'''Soviet''': [[LamePunReaction That's terrible. That's an awful joke, you should be ashamed.]] |
| 1108 | * It says something about ZF that when Cyanide tells Soviet [[ARareSentence "there's a banana having a rave behind you"]] that not only does Soviet turn around to look, but there actually is Social spazzing out behind him wearing a full yellow outfit. |
| 1109 | |
| 1110 | !! '''Random Onward Bullshittery''' |
| 1111 | * On the training camp level, Bundy wanders onto the firing range. No prizes guessing what happens next. |
| 1112 | -->'''Soviet''': Oh look, there's a target out there. ''(Womble and a teammate gun Bundy down)'' Really well animated, the moving targets out there. |
| 1113 | * When ZF learns you can draw on the mission maps, they almost immediately use it to draw genitals. In one instance, Womble was pointing out good sniper positions and their range, and the captions eventually devolved into "penis". |
| 1114 | * During a night mission, Bundy forgets to buy a laser sight, so SWAT and Womble mess around with theirs to troll him. |
| 1115 | --> '''[[WesternAnimation/ToyStory1 Hamm]]''': What's with him?\ |
| 1116 | '''Mr. Potato Head''': Laser envy. |
| 1117 | * Later on, Womble mistakes a muzzle break for a suppressor, and accidentally causes his team to get spotted. |
| 1118 | --> '''Bundy''': Who the fuck sent in the "special" forces!? |
| 1119 | * When SWAT tries to draw a dick, it looks malformed, to the rest of the clan's amusement. |
| 1120 | * One map has them kill each other repeatedly shortly after they spawn. |
| 1121 | --> '''Bundy''': [[ThisIsGonnaSuck I think I was a bit naïve setting up only four rounds in this custom map]]. |
| 1122 | [[/folder]] |
| 1123 | |
| 1124 | [[folder:What's so strange about The Forest (2014)?]] |
| 1125 | * Look, look, look. Just because his great documentary about ''VideoGame/TheForest'' isn't a bullshittery video, that doesn't mean it doesn't have any funny moments in it. If you just want the funny bits of that video, here they are: |
| 1126 | ** The video begins with him playing various survival games, beginning with ''VideoGame/{{Scum}}'', where he makes a spear... and then throws it away for no reason. And in ''VideoGame/TheIsle'', he is a little young predator hiding from a hungry carnivore, before [[OhCrap finding that he is also behind a very big carnivore]] and very slowly walks away carefully. |
| 1127 | ** His animations are getting better in its minutiae, as he begins using ''VideoGame/{{Subnautica}}'' as an example if a story could work in a open world survival game, and the example he uses has a miniature Soviet in a Seamoth, and he points out that the plot could be on the beach, it could be in a drydock, and it could be on the moon. [[FunnyBackgroundEvent And you could see the little miniature Soviet flailing about in his Seamoth as it reacts to aforementioned areas before being dropped back in the ocean]]. |
| 1128 | |
| 1129 | [[/folder]] |
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