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    Alien: Isolation 

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

  • Near the start of the episode, Womble says "I'm completely immune to freaking out." Then something explodes, scaring the crap out of him.
  • Womble opens a door.
    Soviet: Okay, I'm going to shit myself if (the alien) ends up behind me.
    (It's in front of him. Soviet screams.)
  • When encountering and hiding from several armed human enemies, Womble runs into some Artificial Stupidity hiding under a narrow desk, which not only turns out to be a blind spot, but prompts the woman to bug out on it. Womble asks the Twitch chat if he should wait for her to move out or just shoot her in the crotch and be done with it.
    Womble: (laughs) I know what exactly you motherfuckers are gonna pick.
    Chat: "shoot" "shoot" "shoot" "shoot" "shoot" "SHOOT" "shoot her" "shoot" "do it" "thanks Obama"
  • Ripley is in a room with synths that had just activated, and Ricardo is calling.

Part 4

  • The start of the episode shows his incompetence at throwing things from CS:GO also applies here, where he fails to chuck a flare down a hole. Twice.
  • While most of this episode is him crawling all over the place for fear of the Alien coming at him, there is a bit where he's hiding under a table and as the Alien is walking away, its tail accidentally snagged a canister out of sight from Womble. We get a replay of it as a seagull call claims it.
  • Womble encounters a character who for some reason is on a bench looking out the window in an area where the xenomorph is on the loose.
    Soviet: I know you're upset about your chin — I would be upset too — but seriously, I would recommend you get the FUCK OUT OF HERE! COME ON!
  • "Okay, okay, okay, the alarms mean you're safe, okay? See? (shifts to his map then shifts off to look at a sign) Did that say "Anal lab"?note 

Part 7

  • Womble hiding behind a crate to spot a human enemy nearby... then getting burned by a flame he failed to spot.
  • During a tense spacewalk to contact Verlaine, Womble wonders if anyone onboard the station had email or Twitter to make things a lot easier, prompting this Imagine Spot:
    @Ripley / "SnuggleBum" Ripley: GET ME THE FUCK OFF THIS STATION!!
    @VerlaineTheTorrens / Captain Verlaine: @Ripley What's going on over there?
    @ILoveCuddles / Xenomorph: lol faggot #SWAG #YOLO #CALLOFDUTY

    Arma3 Bullshittery 

Part 1

  • The very first scene has the ZF clan on a night mission climbing up a hill, but Gambit is behind because he's slowly crawling/slowly scooting forward. Cyanide joins him, and they decide to have a race, complete with another member using his laser sight as a finishing line. Then, as Cyanide draws near and complains about how the line is slanted against him, Gambit simply shoots him and wins.
    Soviet: And it's a photo finish!
    • In the same mission, they manage to successfully take down a helicopter using a turret. As they're laughing and congratulating each other:
    Soviet: Ahh, that wasn't friendly, was it?
    Teammate: I hope not. (laughs)
  • As Soviet gathers intel at a target location, Cyanide nervously notices something and asks "Why have we called for fire support at 225199?" Their current location.
  • The clan heads out in a truck, which they all treat as a wild joyride, complete with gleefully jumping over a steel fence. Then they collide head-on with an enemy vehicle, which flips them all backwards.
    Saggy: inb4 we flip and all die
  • The team lays low in the grass as enemy soldiers are nearby and scouting the area. The game's Artificial Stupidity rears its hilarious head as several enemies walk into a prone teammate and even push his model around without noticing him.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

  • As Soviet debriefs his squad on the mission, Cyanide gets bored and shoves a mine detector in his face mid-lecture. His confusion is already hilarious, but then others start following in, then Cyanide instead pretends it's a selfie stick, to which everyone, Soviet included, decides to join in for, complete with a title card resembling a real life military group selfie.
  • (while in a helicopter) "Can we not be 5 metres from the ocean surface, please?"
    Cyanide: I really like dolphins, I really wanna see one!
    Passenger Soldier: Lower, please!
  • Soviet and Cyanide's mundane amusement at the "next-gen hand gestures" of an AI officer giving a debrief at the base.
    • It's even better than that. That officer giving them the debrief is the "Game Master" of Arma3's Zeus Mode, meaning he's an actual player — Quebec, to be more specific.
  • Soviet having to convince Cyanide that he needs to help rescue the hostages before he can play with the digger they found. Eventually he gets Cyanide to move by promising him that he can bring the hostages back and show them the digger.
    • Then the squad finds a larger digger, and they all go up it, except for Cyanide who Soviet ordered to stay on a hill.
    Soviet: Aw man, this digger is amazing, isn't it, Ross? Isn't this the greatest digger you've ever seen?
    Bullet flies by him
    Soviet: Okay, he's shooting at us! Cyanide is shooting at us!
  • When Cyanide is put in charge of a squad, he expresses annoyance with their improper positioning, tossing a grenade and killing three of them as they bunch up together just to give them a lesson about spacing.
  • Cyanide attempting to impose Zen on the server:
    Cyanide: SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'm trying to impose Zen, you dumb bitch!
    Random 1: Woooooooooo...
    Random 2: Weeengwoooo...
    Cyanide: BZZZZBBZZZBZZBXZBZZXZXZBZZZXZZZZT!!!
    Soviet: AAAAHHHH!!! Owwwww...
    Cyanide: I win!
    Soviet: There were no winners in this contest!
  • The naming antics of Gambit, who names himself "Gas Chamber", then later "Auschwitz". HE'S GERMAN.
  • "All callsigns, this is Crossroads, be advised. The paramilitary forces in the area have been alerted to your, uh, pre... (stammers) pre-pre-pr-pr-pr-pre... (frustrated) THEY'RE COMING."
    Soviet: Understood, Crossroads.
    Crossroads: Suck a cock.
  • Soviet tries out some new 40mm rounds. He shoots Zodiac point blank with a buckshot round, and it does nothing. Then this happens:
    Soviet: So this is something called a stun grenade.
    (Shoots grenade at Zodiac, it hits him and just drops to the ground)
    Soviet: Completely fucking usele--(Grenade goes off)ARRGHH!!
  • Soviet's confusion towards nearby bird calls while in a jungle, which he then realizes is just a teammate through the radio. This culminates in a Brick Joke later:
    Soviet: Did you get that?
    Teammate 1: (whistles)
    (beat)
    Teammate 2: Was that a bird?
    Soviet: Urgh, just don't ask.
  • The glorious Failure Montage showing 24 ZF members getting wasted in a single mission (at least 6 of which died from friendly fire according to the killfeed) as "Moving On Up" by M People plays in the background.
    Womble: Jesus, is it just you and me, Aizen?
    Aizen: Didn't we have more!?
    Womble: We had like 12 guys! What happened to the 12 guys we had in our squad 10 minutes ago!?
  • The introduction to Holy'N'Evil/Nevil.
    Soviet: You okay, Nevil? Are you alright?
    Nevil: Eid new bange on myself?
    Soviet: Sorry?
    Nevil: I have bandage but I don't know why I gonda ad bandage do add for some reason.
    (beat)
    Soviet: Is he speaking English?

    Soviet: Who's still alive in my squad?
    Teammate: Joep and uh, this guy that can't speak English.
    Nevil: I cam speek Enlish okay!?
    Soviet: "She sells sea shells on the sea shore."
    Nevil: Doeysell on da seesaw?
    (beat)
    Soviet: Right, that's good enough.
  • The squad's annoyance with CartonWaffle using the radio to broadcast the sounds of himself eating.
    Cyanide: CartonWaffle, please stay off the radio, you're using a lot of unnecessary chatter.
    (radio turns on)
    CartonWaffle: Umm...
    (radio turns off)
  • Cyanide gives a briefing of the new base he finished designing for the clan to use, but asks for a moment of downtime when many of the objects bug out and are floating. Womble and the others think it's still functional and shrug it off, up until one of them gets in a vehicle that immediately flips out and explodes.
  • Soviet gets a helium balloon for his birthday. You can guess the rest.
    Soviet: (in a high-pitched voice) Fuck you Cyanide!

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

  • The entire squad's series of annoyed "No"'s when they realize Cyanide is their pilot.
  • The squad gets told to eliminate a downed friendly helicopter (the mission was either to recover or destroy it to prevent the enemy from recovering it), but Nyan ends up misfiring two rockets at it. Later on...
    Quebec: I heard the order for somebody to blow it up, and was like "Yeah, fair enough, that makes sense," and then there was an explosion somewhere in the next village.
    Cyanide: It was like someone was getting a cup of coffee and then suddenly a fucking rocket pops in through the window.
    Quebec: Locked onto his Gameboy or something.
    (chat laughs)
  • During one mission as the squad are pressing onto a target location, Soviet notices two unknown figures in the distance, calls in an air strafe (to Cyanide, who for his mission was callsigned "Bamboonium") and shoots them down... and then another squadmate correctly identifies them as civilians.
    Soviet: Wait, you're kidding me!?
    Teammate 1: I don't see civilians anymore.
    Soviet: Oohhhh... [...] Err, Bamboonium, wave off please, I think I just called in an airstrike on a civilian target! Ohhh noo...
    Teammate 2: That's a court-martialin'!
    • Later when the squad is investigating the village and checking the casualties, Soviet asks if the blue guy he shot had a gun, and a teammate confirms he does as he plants a gun as evidence.
    • Even later in chat:
      Soviet: My squad basically committed a war crime in the middle of that...
      Teammate 1: You mean you committed that? Not the squad?
      Soviet: Okay, we just wiped out a village of at least 25 people.
      Teammate 2: I'm willing to testify against my squad leader in exchange for immunity.
  • "What the fuck? What is THAT?! THERE'S A GIANT TRYING TO BOARD THE HELICOPTER!"
  • As Soviet is listening to Edberg's mumbling, one of his Twitch notifications pops up to let him know of a re-sub, and when he tries to ask him to repeat what he said, he ends up saying "I can't hear you over the sound of people subscribing."
    Soviet: I wasn't trying to give you sass there, I was being serious.
    Accidental Sass: I can't hear you over the sound of people giving me money.
  • Soviet and Cyanide are paired up as a sniper squad for one mission, and immediately it devolves into a game of oneupmanship of Twitch subscribers.
    Soviet: Saite, thank you user Saite on Twitch for subbing to me!
    Cyanide: TattemWater, thank you so much for subscribing! GhostBravo, thank you so much for —
    Soviet: Robin4TheWin, thank you for subbing to me and not Cyanide, thank you!
    Cyanide: ComradeHedonismBot, thank you so much for subscribing!
    Soviet: Jumitor, thank you for subbing to me!
    Cyanide: Lulabull123, thank you so much for subscribing!
    Soviet: Bailey, thank you for subscribing, thank you! Ragnar112, thank you for —
    Cyanide: Ragnar112—wait, what!?
    Soviet: Shut the fuck up!
  • Soviet finds a go-kart (or Command Mobility Vehicle if he's to be believed) in the middle of a mission:
    (Accidentally runs over a teammate running after him despite not touching him)
    Soviet: You screwed with the chain of command, you got bit, okay, fuck you.
    Medic: (Faintly) You killed him!
  • The Rapid-Fire Comedy before Soviet before his time as a medic.
    • "Can you repeat the part where you said the stuff about all the things because I wasn't listening?"
    • "Why exactly did we capture Asian Tiger Woods?"
    • Cyanide, nothing needs to be said, but somehow I know that you're responsible for [A tank turned upside down].
  • The entire Rapid-Fire Comedy section of Soviet being a field medic.
    Soviet: I now pronounce you legally dead.
    Still-standing soldier: Can I get a second opinion?

    Soviet: Shit, I've accidentally given one of you LSD!

    Soviet: Hah, I'm actually pretty good at the medic, I think!
    Teammate 1: I can't feel my legs!
    Soviet: Yeah, I think I've found my calling!
    Teammate 2: ahh...
    Soviet: It's a gunshot wound.
    Teammate: Really?
    Soviet: No, it's AIDS.
    • The following:
    Soviet: Don't mix prescription medicines... unless you're Heath Ledger
    Beat
    Soviet: NO WAIT! Especially if you're Heath Ledger!
  • Soviet's incredulity of a squadmate bringing a ladder into battle... then actually putting it to good use to simply climb up to a second-story window to shoot the targets inside.

Part 9

  • The video opens with a meticulously edited-together News Broadcast establishing the context for the Antistasi campaign. Among the scrolling headlines at the bottom is text reading "Florida Woman Calls Police on Eight Year Old for Selling Water".
  • As the group starts the game mode, one of the members immediately gets sidetracked by the notice of them doing "guerrilla warfare" and starts singing Gorillaz songs.
    Digby: ♪ Get the cool shoeshine... ♪
    Soviet: Fuck your shoeshine! (shoots him dead)
  • This exchange:
    Moogle: Oh, if you wanna put anything than flip-flops on, now's the time.
    Soviet: No, no, these are my battle flip-flops. I fight with the strength of ten men with my battle flip-flops. Ten really puny men.
  • "I'm wearing a balaclava! But I don't think I'm incognito enough! Double balaclava!"
  • Soviet chooses to name the group "The Badgers", and as he comes up with their battle cry, the footage is cut with an epic Badgers jingle that slowly devolves as the campaign goes on.
    The Badgers, they are The Badgers ("Yeah!")
    They fight for freedom and democracy ("Woo!")
    Badgers, they are The Badgers, yeah!
    • "Ooh, badgers hiss? That's brilliant!" (patriotic hiss)
    • Much to Soviet's annoyance, the rest of the team isn't quite on board with the title, preferring to just call it "Badger", if even that.
      Digby: The Molos Independence and Liberation Front is the name of this organisation.
      Soviet: M.I.L.F.!?
      Digby: For the glory of M.I.L.F.!
      Soviet: We are not being called M.I.L.F.! We are the Badgers!
      Quebec: I've already got a tattoo though, Soviet!
  • "I thought we were trying to make this a dictatorship."
    Soviet: No, we're fighting for democracy!
    Cadsade: Am I the only one fighting for money here?
    Soviet: Fine, you can fight for money. If you want.
  • Soviet claiming that, while undercover, they can just claim to be Bohemia developers photographing the countryside as research if they get caughtnote .
  • The first sign of things to come is the aftermath of their first successful mission, where after capturing a few NPCs as political prisoners, Gatsa sets up one of them as a squad leader, prompting them to literally take him behind the woodshed and shooting him dead.
  • Soviet partakes in another mission, but as they're geared up to go, the player in the driver's seat becomes AFK.
    Quebec: Is it the guy in the right hand seat?
    Digby: Yeah.
    Quebec: (machine-guns him to death then turns to Soviet) There you go, get in.
    Soviet: Jesus Christ, he was one of us!
    Digby: Insubordination.
    Soviet: Insubordination!?
    Digby: Soviet, you can get in now.
    Soviet: Not sure if I want to!
    • During the drive to drop off propaganda pamphlets, they agree to the terms of their proposed system: Digby will only be able to command President Soviet to run the country on Wednesdays and Thursdays, Chairman Moogle on Mondays and Tuesdays, Minister Quebec on Fridays, alternating on weekends. Soviet further proposes that Thursdays be government-free anarchy days (inexplicably represented with a video of a group of people attacking a trash can).
    • After Soviet asks if they're going to drive on the left side or the right side of the road, they decide that they can't so either side any favour, so they're going to drive straight down the middle.
  • One guy gets stuck on a rock and somehow, he can't be killed. Soviet decides to prove it and shoots him point blank. Only he fired a 40mmm grenade round. Everybody gives him hell for him and Soviet can only laugh at the fact he nearly killed them all. So he decides to stick to regular rounds from there on.
    Moogle: Next time you're about to kill us all, a little bit of warning.
  • Digby keeps on singing to the point he's the team bard. During a drive, he sings a rather impressive piece of "Men of Harlech" until they come head to head with a Russian patrol. They urge him to sing something Russian. Not knowing a word of the language, Digby fumbles it and they get discovered.
  • "There's a dog up there, don't shoot it." (beat) (shot) "NOO—"
    • Moogle and Soviet are on a mission to recruit NPCs into the resistance, but one they encounter inside a house is bugged out and unresponsive.
    Moogle: You, join us or die.
    Soviet: No, no, this is not what our resistance stands for! We're about justice, and—and like, fairness...
    Moogle: How the hell are we gonna complete the mission if this guy doesn't join our group?
    Soviet: Hearts and minds! It's about getting people on our side.
    Moogle: Just... get in the truck.
    Soviet: Get in the truck, alright. (leaves the building)
    Moogle: Ah... ha-choo! (gunshot)
    Soviet: Augh, for fuck's sake!
  • The return of the Badgers anthem following these actions, accompanied with a darker-colored logo, featuring a badger in more guerilla-style uniform and covered in money:
    The Badgers, they are The Badgers
    They fight for freedom, but mainly money ("That's just Moogle...")
    and a restrictive democracy ("Well no, just democracy...")
    where women can't vote ("Okay, wait—")
    and they kill dogs! ("No—wait, hold on a sec—")
    and spread propaganda ("No, it's not propaganda!")
    and they shot a young man 'cause he wouldn't sign up! ("He was just bugged out!")
    He had a family, they miss him! ("Okay, hold on—")
    No one tell Womble that Gambit's been smuggling drugs ("He's doing what?")
    Badgers, they are The Badgers, yeah!
  • During a sudden ambush, Womble rescues a wounded Poro and takes him behind cover for medical treatment. Once he finishes and Poro gets back up, his mic comes back on to reveal he'd been playing the USSR Anthem during the entire procedure.
  • After a successful base raid, the squad notices an enemy helicopter coming towards them, but it turns out it's piloted by a resistance member, telling the others to hold fire through the walkie-talkies. Unfortunately, Soviet can't hear them over the heavy rain, and he blasts it down with an anti-air rocket.
    • After the Friendly Fire Incident, Womble is talking to a Russian soldier who's surrendered about what the Badgers are going to do once they have set up a working government over Altis, and all the soldier can think of is the song "the Sound of Silence" before he gets shot in the head. Womble isn't upset over the blatant war crime that just took place as he is over the fact that:
  • One of the squad members is about to shoot a LAW, so Womble and the other member get clear of the backblast... only for the guy firing the LAW to accidentally knock himself out with the backblast.
  • During a mission, Quebec seizes an enemy tank, which inexplicably flips itself over. The squad thinks it could still be salvaged, but when he tries to tow it with a truck, it makes horrible screeching noises and simply refuses any attempts to flip it right-side up again. Eventually, Quebec accidentally causes it to collide with a building, igniting it and its ammunition, killing nearly everyone from the thermal damage as he continues driving around with a flaming tank trailing behind.
    Womble: It's like Greek fire! A weapon to surpass Metal Gear...
  • Eventually, the clan's descent into actual terrorism (including executing surrendering enemy soldiers and suicide-bombing) prompts a third version of the Badgers anthem, with the logo badger drenched in terrifying fire and eating a human arm:
    The Badgers, they are The Badgers
    They're terrorists! ("Oh god, we are, aren't we?")
    They like to eat babies! ("Fuck...")
    And terrorize the populace with suicide bombers! ("Is this what we are?")
    And gun down Russian soldiers that have clearly surrendered!
    Because they're assholes ("What have we become?")
    and thundercunts ("Yeah...")
    and Quebec parked his APC inside an orphanage! ("Oh, for fuck's sake!")
    Badgers, they were The Badgers! ("What do you mean 'were'?")
    From henceforth they have now announced a partnership with ISIS! (plays "Saleel al-Sawarim") ("We're fucking terrorists! We're just terrorists!")
  • Immediately following this, Soviet discovers that his fellow resistance members are using civilians as human shields during a raid.
    Soviet: NO, NO, NO, don't use civilians as a human fucking shield! That is... what!?
    Poro: I am naming him Roberto.
    (long beat as he runs offscreen with him)
    Soviet: We're gonna be fucking tried in The Hague. By the end of this, we're gonna get tried in the fucking Hague.
    • Even worse, they discover that since they can shoot while using human shields, they're actually really effective in combat, to a point where Womble simply gives up and takes the base with everyone else with one in tow.
      Soviet: Fucking hell, we actually took the base, through err... by exploiting the mercy of our enemy, I think. We are terrible people. We are genuinely... genuinely terrible people.
  • Womble discovering that mortars are loud... and that the Russians can hear the sound of a mortar firing... and send a HIND to investigate and neutralise the threat. Cue the Russians wiping out Resistance HQ, ending the game for everyone. In fairness, another player knew that the Russians could eventually zero in on the mortars, knew Womble was playing around with the AI mortar team, and didn't bother to tell him until after the Russians had shown up.
  • The video ends with another montage of News Broadcast, this one establishing the aftermath of the Russians wiping out the Badgers, or as they will be remembered in a final kick in Womble's teeth: M.I.L.F:
    • A funeral is held for the young man who they executed for refusing to join them, stressing how heartbroken his family was, and that he was the father of two. It also mentions the various other civilians executed or forced to join them.
    • One of their suicide bombers killed at least 11 people, implied to mainly be civilians.
    • As mentioned in the last version of their theme song, Quebec parked his burning IFV inside an orphanage, resulting in it and its cooking-off ammunition acting as a firebomb, shattering the sense of unity and determination the surrounding community had.
    • As a result of all this, the locals view the Russian soldiers as bringing peace and stability to the island.
    • The Russian military is revealed to have been working on extending infrastructure, bringing various public services and clean drinking water to areas of the island that had long been neglected by the previous government.
    • All of this has caused the locals to love the Russian government, and an overwhelming majority of them vote in favour of becoming a semi-autonomous territory of Russia, as is revealed in a clip of a speech by Vladimir Putin, with (extremely well done) translator added in that changes the speech to being about the defeat of M.I.L.F., and the vote. The ticker beneath reveals that, at the very least, the UK Foreign Secretary approves of how the vote was handled, and is impressed by the large turnout.
    • It finishes with the beginning of a report on whether or not violent battle royale video games are causing autism in children.

Antistasi Part 1/5

Antistasi Part 2/5

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    CS:GO Bullshittery 

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

  • During a game, Cyanide realizes they left the bomb behind, which was his job:
    Soviet: Whenever you do something awesome, it's "Oh, look at me!", and then whenever you fuck up, it's "Oh, we're a team."
    Cyanide: That's how teamwork works!
  • After Edberg picks up an enemy AWP for the next round, three of his teammates clamor for it, undercut with sounds of "MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!" He proceeds to just throw it on a roof.
  • As Soviet picks up a new gun:
    Teammate: Does this one have ammo in it, Soviet?
    Soviet: Shut up.
    • Afterwards, Soviet empties out his gun's magazine right before he dies. 20 seconds later, Cyanide picks it up in the middle of a firefight, and it goes as well as you'd expect.
      Soviet: How does it feel, Cyanide?
      Cyanide: Why would you drop a gun with no ammo?!
      Soviet: 'cause I died!
  • Cyanide's story of how he got a new girl in Teamspeak named Elenii and a regular named Echo together in a room and had them participate in a Jewish wedding.
    Soviet: So, sorry, bear with me for a minute, are you saying you basically took an Englishman and German woman and forced them to partake in a Jewish Shotgun Wedding?
    Cyanide: Yes.
    Soviet: And did she say yes?
    Cyanide: Yes. It irritated the shit out of—
    Echo: No no no, no one said yes, it was just a glass smashed and a mazel tov and everyone said "Yep!"
  • After everyone's attempts to "juggle" their guns by throwing it in the air to catch it again, one of them decides to go the extra mile and shoot his gun mid-air. It flies off onto the roof of a multi-story building.
  • A ZF member named Kaffe plays some soundboarded clips as the group is setting up, much to the annoyance of Soviet. Echo asks for him to play the "ISIS Theme Tune"... and then he plays this.
    Soviet: You and I are gotta have a bit of a talk about cultural sensitivity.
    • Later on, he plays this, which sends everybody, Soviet included, into hysterics.
  • The entire second half of the video is dedicated to a session involving a Drinking Game: Drink for every death, and if someone gets a knife kill, everyone drinks (later, Cyanide adds that getting killed by a knife calls for 3 drinks). It doesn't take long for things to go hilariously wrong.
    • Throughout the game, Blair repeatedly complains about his liquor, a cucumber and spinach vodka called "Oddka."
      Blair: Oh, mine is quite alright, actually. (Beat) Oh! Never mind!
    • Soviet started with Southern Comfort, then he went on to a honey Jack Daniels, but when he ran out of that, all he had left was Tequila. Everyone sympathized with him.
    • 9 shots in, Soviet begins giggling uncontrollably. It's quite contagious. It gets even worse as he has to take even more.
    • 15 shots in, Cyanide begins ragging on Soviet:
      Cyanide: (slurred and slowly) Soviet, you can't hold your alcohol worth a shit.
      Teammate: Cyanide, you're fucking slurring yourself!
      Cyanide: I can pronounce the word that was difficult for him to pronounce just now ("Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious") because IIiiii am not dunk.
      Cyanide: THIS, IS JUST, A FORM OF COMMUNICATION, THAT LETS ME, TALK TO, EASIER...
    • A funny background event: One of the players on the opposing team can be seen in the chat repeatedly claiming that the ZF team are hackers and telling them to turn off their hacks. At several points, the rest of his team join in. This starts around the time Soviet reaches 12 shots, and is barely coherent. Apparently, the other team are so bad that they have trouble dealing with several extremely drunk guys.
    • How does the game end? At 18+ shots, Soviet's player character is simply staring off into the sky. Apparently, Soviet got so drunk he physically wandered off the stream and forgot he was doing one.
    • Then there's the follow-up, posted in a (now-removed) Facebook post:
      "So...last night we decided to play some Counter Strike. With the rule "take a shot of whiskey every time you die". Whiskey quickly became Tequila. I have made many mistakes in my life. And last night is clearly making the top 10. I've just gone through the worst hangover a human being is capable of experiencing. I don't even know how many units of alcohol I consumed. I'm being told I didn't even stop the stream, I just wandered off. I found a soggy and defrosted bag of peas in one of my cupboards that drunk me moved there for some reason. I've been going between bed and bathroom every 20 minutes to vomit anything I tried to eat or drink. And at it's worst point, I was head down over the toilet basin alternating between sobbing, puking, and swearing death on a packet of Nestle Whole Grain Clusters because I thought the title "Rise and Shine" was mocking me. Yeah...if anyone is near Brighton, could they come round my flat and beat me to death with a spade. Thanks."

Part 4

  • Soviet picks up an AWP at the end of the round and asks if anyone wants it. Once everyone asks for it, he decides he's going to keep it for the round.
    CartonWaffle: Alright, then.
    (3 seconds later)
    (cut to Soviet shot by his teammates)
  • This simple bit:
    Soviet: Tunnel!
    (Cyanide gets close and instantly gets killed)
    Soviet: (turning around) The other one!
  • The entire "sound test" incident:
    Soviet: What's automatic voice gain control— Oh... Can you guys all start speaking? Simultaneously?
  • The entire bit where Cyanide and Cyanide's Hot Girlfriend are playing in tandem with a single mouse and keyboard. Considering how Cyanide's Hot Girlfriend seems pretty unfamiliar with gaming, it goes as chaotically hilarious as you'd expect.
    • Cyanide makes a deal with his girlfriend at the beginning:
    Cyanide: We'll do a reward system; every time you kill someone you get a bite out of the cheese sandwich.
    Cyanide's Hot Girlfriend: I take psychology, I know how it works, thank you. (beat) I use it on you.
    Cyanide: What do you mean, you use it on me?
    Cyanide's Hot Girlfriend: Never mind, just play.
  • At the very end, Womble's mouse stops working in the middle of the game, leaving him to be unable to aim or turn around until he gets killed. In spite of this, he ends up getting promoted to Distinguished Master Guardian, which ends up baffling him and everyone else in the chat.

Part 5

  • As the game is setting up, Cyanide announces he's "going to do something people do every day." Cut to sounds of him pissing on stream in front of 1000+ people.
    Soviet: NO WAY. NO. FUCKING. WAY. YOU ARE A FUCKING ANIMAL. YOU'RE AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE!
  • Cyanide's abrupt decision to rebrand himself as the Nice Guy as a response to a Reddit thread. It lasts for all of seven seconds before Nep announces "I'm peeking Banana."
    • Speaking of innuendo...
    Nep: Why do I suck so much today? (cue several seconds of uncharacteristic silence)
    Soviet: No one? No one's gonna jump on that?
  • Soviet comes up with a rather bizarre theory:
    Soviet: I find that I often do better at Counter-Strike whenever I really, really need to poo. I think there's a correlation there.
    Gambit: So you're saying you need something up your bumhole?
    Edberg: Well that doesn't really matter, you're always full of shit!
  • Soviet complains he doesn't want to go to work, to which Cyanide responds that as a streamer, playing games and recording is his "work."
    Cyanide: You are working right now. That pisses me the fuck off.
    • Later:
    Soviet: Can you stop being so difficult to work with? I'm gonna complain to HR. I am a professional CS:GO player and you are not. As in, I do this for a living, okay?
    (Soviet gets killed at a later round)
    Cyanide: "Professional CS:GO player," he says.
    Soviet: I never said I was any good!
  • At the end of a round, Sheep picks up a Negev for Cyanide. Then he immediately throws it over a fence, sending Cyanide flying into a white-hot Rage Quit.

Part 6

  • The very beginning of the video, which may as well be an Establishing Series Moment (and is the first video found upon clicking onto SovietWomble's channel):
    Teammate 1: The key to winning a game of CS:GO is to keep good positivity and trust each other.
    Entire Team: Shut the fuck up.
    • A similar moment happens soon after:
      Soviet: Most of us met in DayZ and we've formed an everlasting bond of friendship and love and respect...
      Edberg: Fuck you.
      Soviet: Yes...
  • "That round only took 34 seconds. Name of SovietWomble's sex tape, volume 3."
  • Cyanide: "Sovieeeet! Cake called me fat!"
    Cake: I did not!
    Soviet: You are fat.
    Cyanide: (loud wailing)
    TeamSpeak Announcer: User left your channel.
    TheGuyNamedWaffle: Not sure if he Rage Quit or ate the microphone...
  • During a clever bit of editing, Soviet friendly fires Nep, causing her to turn around with a "Look of betrayal" and get killed by a shot to the back. All accompanied by a dramatic piano.
    Soviet: Sorry, Nep.
    Nep: Are you serious?!
  • Soviet and Kas approach a doorway:
    Soviet: You first.
    Kas: Why me?
    Soviet: Women and children first.
    Kas: I have a... (sighs, then guns Soviet down)
    Soviet: A-hahahaha! BITCH!
  • The clan has a game with two randoms who are speaking in voice chat. Then Cyanide and Nep proceed to spam the voice chat in Russian accents.
    Nep: Motherfucker, I will report you to my boyfriend, do you know who my boyfriend is? It's Putin!
  • Unlike Soviet's usual problem with thrown grenades, one snippet features him throwing a smoke grenade that accidentally hits a small bar of a metal sign, sending it falling through the platforms. Thankfully for him, nobody else sees it.
  • As the clan is organizing in Teamspeak, Cyanide is texting:
    Cyanide: How do you spell "luscious"?
    Soviet: L-U-S-C-C-I-O-U-S-T.
    (beat)
    Cyanide: ...what!? Fuck off!
  • Cyanide is the last man standing:
    Nep: I swear to god if you don't get this, I will fucknote , the shit out of you!
    Cyanide: Oh OKAY! I am not fucking... (completely disarms himself and charges the enemy) COME 'ERE! COME 'ERE! (dies)
  • "Honestly, the fucking Mars Curiosity Rover gets better ping than I do!"
  • During one game where Soviet is on high ground and armed with a Negev, Nep gets suddenly knifed by an enemy and prompts Soviet to turn around and start spraying out the window. Said enemy proceeds to jump up into his line of fire three times and dies.
  • Soviet picks up a R8 Revolver for one game, and after mentioning he's never gotten a kill with it, Cyanide challenges him to get one kill in the round in exchange for subscribing to him for a month. Soviet takes him up on his offer, but after seeing how crap it is in combat and several back-and-forths on formation, Soviet shoots and kills Cyanide on the basis that it counted as a kill. After a loud and frustrated squabble on the terms, Cyanide gives into his word and subscribes.

Part 7

  • "Why do you have a Deagle, Moogle?"
    Moogle: Because it's Thursday.
    (beat)
    Soviet: (laughs) What?
  • "Cyanide, that's a good point, we now need to reveal that we're the owners of CSGOLOTTERY.CO.UK.ORG, don't we, yes?"
  • The moment when Edberg sees a target's silhouette through smoke and he shoots, but then it turns out it's Moogle, getting him banned.
  • The rather extended sequence of Cyanide relaying random fun facts to annoy the ZF clan.
    • Other players also get in on the action:
      Moogle: Did you know the whale's average penis size is about 8 metres?
      Nep: Would you be surprised if I said yes, I knew that?
      Moogle: No. (Womble laughs)
    • After several minutes, the entire chat gets fed up:
      Soviet: Unsubscribe! Unsubscribe!
      Cyanide: You have unsubscribed from Cyanide Fun Facts!
      Soviet: Thank you!
      Cyanide: You have now subscribed to Cyanide Gorilla Facts! Did you know—
      Soviet: NOOOO, NOOOO, NOOOO—
  • At one point, Nep gets disconnected, so Womble had Cake be "the eye-candy" for the meantime. He asks her to "moan seductively for the audience"... resulting in what sounds like a soft ghost wail.
    Soviet: (laughs) What was that? I said "moan seductively," not have a fucking seizure.
  • "Someone in my chat is called 'Womble's Dignity' and he just timed out." This is said moments before Soviet comes across a prone enemy, gets up close, but then the enemy unknowingly moves out of the way, notices Soviet and kills him.
  • Cyanide, Gambit, Edberg and the rest of the clan decide to do another "sound test" like Womble asked them to do at an earlier Bullshittery episode. As they make random noises and run off into the distance, Soviet can only remark:
    Soviet: Beset, on all sides, by idiots.

Part 8

  • Near the beginning, Cyanide begins with "Did you know?" before everybody frantically tells him to stop.
  • Cyanide, mocking Edberg reaching Global Elite (for the second time): "I'm globul."
    "What? He's global, he doesn't need to hear."
  • The revelation that Nevil types in broken English.
    "i still not BOTTOM FARGH"
    • In a very Crosses the Line Twice bit of humor, the clan remembers that Nevil is divorced.
      Soviet: They had communication trouble.
      (beat, before abruptly cutting to the next scene)
    • Later, Nevil attempts to save, casually unloading his bullets when the enemy wins as he waits for the next round. The instant he runs out and before the round begins, he gets gibbed by an enemy out of nowhere, causing the entire chat to burst into laughter.
  • Moogle invites Soviet to see something mind-blowing during the warm-up: the second-floor interior of a building that most people miss. Moogle expresses disappointment for Soviet not appreciating it as much, leading to a brief argument of how anyone could see it just from entering the room, then later as they're at spawn:
    Soviet: Can I blow your mind? Look, there's an APC right over there.
    Moogle: Noooo way!
    Soviet: The things you notice when you have eyes.
  • "dis game is like your mother. its a shit."
  • The clan invites a new player to join in a game. It's Jesus.
    Jesus: Just bear in mind, it will take me three days to respawn.
  • The entire bit about Soviet being subbed on Twitch by "Womble's Left Nipple", leading to a brief panic when he realizes his nipples are asymmetrical.
  • After Soviet is the last person alive and plants the bomb, he waits to find the last two enemies. When they show up, they simultaneously open fire on Soviet, then proceed to miss nearly every shot as Soviet takes them both down. This is framed with a dramatic closeup, slow motion, and is inexplicably underscored with "Go Go Power Rangers".
    • He then proceeds to do very well in the following matches, while Edberg does poorly.
    Cyanide: WHY ARE THEY SO SHIT? WHEN IT'S YOU?! WHY CAN'T THEY DO THAT? WHEN IT'S ME?!
    Moog: Why do we never get shit like that? It's like you can see an invisible hand turn down the difficulty just for Soviet.
  • Cyanide eats during the game, and in his words, "When I'm feeling sensual, I become vocal." At one point, Soviet pulls out his dedicated "mute Cyanide" button on his keyboard.
  • During a couple of rounds, Soviet's teammates ask him to buy them certain weapons. In response, Soviet does buy the weapons, but then tosses them off the play area. The second time, after tossing Nep's requested USPS, Edberg asks Soviet to throw his AK in the air under the guise of juggling it, giving Nep the opportunity to pick it up after Soviet falls for it.

    The Culling Bullshittery 

Part 1

  • As Womble first introduces the game to the stream, Cyanide appears to be doing everything to sabotage his intro by making loud, annoying sounds into the mic during his explanation for at least ten minutes. However, Soviet suddenly notices his mic icon is turned off, and when he turns it back on, Cyanide immediately stops.
    Soviet: Are you done?
    Cyanide: I was just waiting for you to come back.
    Soviet: Wait, that whole time was my mic muted!?
    Cyanide: Yes.
    Soviet: (bursts into laughter) I have been barking orders at you for the last ten minutes for you to shut up and my mic has been muted the whole time!?
    Cyanide: Oh! You said you were gonna go get a sandwich!
    Soviet: I thought you were trolling!
    • There's also the revelation that Cyanide hadn't realized the stream had already started, meaning wasn't trying to annoy the audience either; he legitimately makes random noises to himself when he's alone.
  • Soviet's interpretation of the "Man Tracker", which plays Ricky Martin's "Livin' La Vida Loca" when active.
    Soviet: Men are over here! This is a Gaydar, isn't it?
  • One of Soviet's kills involves tasing a guy about to throw dynamite at him. The resulting shock results in him being unable to throw it, causing him to blow himself up.
  • Later on, Soviet's shirtless player character gets compared to a "naked cowboy".
    Soviet: It's not a naked cowboy, these are my running pants, and this is my running hat.
    Clan Member: What are you running to, the Blue Oyster Bar?
  • Soviet's stint as "Spear Man!" With an amusing twist ending, as narrated by an exasperated Cyanide:
    Cyanide: Fucking Spearman had to finish the enemy off with his goddamn fists!

Part 2

    Day Z Bullshittery 

Part 5

  • ZF's attempts to loot a fire station using a helicopter to drop them onto the roof ("Fuck being safe, we're ZF, right?").
    • Attempt number one is par for the course with ZF: The designated looter misses the tower he was trying to land on and plummets to his death.
    • Attempt number two is Epic Fail even by ZF standards, with the helicopter touching the tower and crashing, the pilot leaping out and getting chopped up by the rotor blades and the whole building, along with the rest of the ZF team, going up in a fireball.
    Soviet *watching from a nearby rooftop*: YOU HAD ONE JOB!!

Part 7

  • Airborne's passport renewal story.
  • Airborne's 5-year-old daughter greets the ZF Clan and makes them guess her name. Her name is Molly.
    Airborne's daughter: I'm going to spell it for ya: MUH ARR WUH WUH YUH.

Part 8

  • Cyanide's rendition of a Christmas carol, as only an Indian could come up with:
    "On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a totally insufficient dowry."
  • "Where are your papers, Mav? Where are they? Oh, you don't have any papers? TO THE CONCENTRATION CAMP WITH YOU!"
  • Airborne: "Can't beat the Holocaust, like, can you, really?"
  • When "Tyranneous was killed" shows up on the feed:
    Tyranneous: Err.. if anyone would like to get involved, that was Zelenogorsk, and they might have just stolen my car. I would've told you who it was if I succeeded in killing them. Unfortunately, it only told you my name. (beat) Which I already knew.
  • A random player asks an admin for the rules on the server: "Is giant, helicopter-shaped bullets, are they allowed?" After several seconds of laughing, the admin replies, "If you can make it, go ahead." "Splendid, see you soon!" Sure enough, we get to see one helicopter-shaped bullet blow up a building roof shortly afterward.
  • Airborne's other daughter Georgia talks to the ZF Clan. Soviet immediately asks her to spell her name for them.
    Georgia: Jerr air arr ruh gerr ay arrr.
    Soviet: Airborne, what the fuck have you been teaching your kids?
    • Followed by:
    Georgia: I kill you. Dad, remind me, I kill you. See ya :)
  • The ZF Clan hold an event wherein players compete to win a helicopter full of gear. They are to race to the top of a building being guarded by five defenders. With Stealth as the only remaining defender, he starts playing music to suit the mood: "Give It Up" by KC and the Sunshine Band.

    The Forest Bullshittery 
  • The pedometer joke, in three parts:
    • First, Cyanide refers to it as a "pedo meter" despite Soviet's corrections.
    • Then in the intro cutscene, the player character is in a plane with a child sleeping next to him. "That's what the Pedo Meter is for!"
    • Finally, when the plane crashes and the player character sees a creepy cannibal carrying the child off, Cyanide pipes in with "Uh... my Pedo Meter is blinking," to which Soviet agrees.
  • The brief moment of frightened confusion when Soviet and Cyanide's characters fade in looking at their bloody hands, but spawning with their models clipped into each other.
  • Soviet, Cyanide and Quebec, after running away from enemy cannibals, hang out in an open hill trying to figure out how to start a fire:
    Soviet: Oh, I did it, I did it.
    Cyanide: How did you do it?
    Soviet: I pressed E on it.
    Cyanide: (beat) Are you retarded?
    Quebec: Oh, there's something walking towards us from behind you guys! I dunno if you —
    Soviet: (turning around to see an enemy) AAAAAGHH!!
  • After crafting a shed, Soviet and Cyanide use the save point in it, which results in the game briefly going black for no apparent reason.
    Cyanide: I just pressed C and my screen just went black.
    Soviet: I think we just had sex, man.
  • The trio's encounter with a cannibal stuck in a loop sprinting on all fours around a tree stump, complete with Soviet playing carnival music.
  • During a downtime where Quebec is off his mic, Cyanide quietly explains to Soviet how Quebec (a 17-year-old) got a girl pregnant at 16, and he was left to take care of the child after she refused to keep it. Later, Quebec comes back, and Soviet asks him for confirmation:
    Soviet: Hey, Quebec, you're a single parent at the age of... what?
    Quebec: I'm a single parent?
    Soviet: Yeah, are you a single parent at the age of whatever you are?
    (lengthy pause)
    Quebec: (puzzled) No!
    Soviet: Oh, fuck you, Cyanide!
    Cyanide: (bursts out laughing) You believe everything, you idiot!
    [...]
    Soviet: He was selling me this fucking story about how you managed to get a chick pregnant at 16 and she abandoned it, and you kept the baby. That's why you were AFK, because you had to take care of the kid?
    Quebec: I was eating a Pukka pie!
    • This is immediately followed by Quebec telling that Echo apparently convinced some friends that the former is Jewish and that they don't serve some things when they invite him to a party.

    GTA V Bullshittery 

Part 1

  • Womble's attempts to create a real-life accurate version of himself in Grand Theft Auto V leads him to making "a hairy Ricky Gervais with lipstick."
  • Cyanide and Womble are in an intense car chase in the streets, with Cyanide trying to get Womble to shoot the other driver. Despite him only having a "pea-shooter" pistol, he takes one shot anyway... and pegs the guy through the window, instantly killing him.
  • "Fuck you, you massive colossal cuntasaurus!"
  • As the gang hangs out in an apartment, Womble decides to take a shower, to which Cyanide and Gambit hang outside the bathroom door like bodyguards, which ends up trapping Womble inside.
    Cyanide: Oh look, what does this remind you of?
    Womble: You've locked me in my fucking bathroom twice! You fucking... move!
    • Soon enough, everyone decides to walk into the bathroom, and see how many people they can fit in the shower. Gambit chimes in with "At least twelve Jews."
    • Later in the same apartment, everyone has a blast simply playing musical chairs using the sofa.
  • One of the clan members asks what a "Gaydar" is, and while he catches on quickly, the rest of the chat chastise him for having to explain it for his age.
    Womble: And with a gaydar, you have a gay countermeasure which is where you throw glitter in the air, like chaff.
  • During a parachuting session, Soviet slightly misses the landing zone, which is then followed by someone else faceplanting onto it.
  • Gladpus' very strange custom mission, with the description "There will be no frogs here, only hookers, lots of hookers," which involves Womble's crew spawning on a beach surrounded by hookers... who proceed to beat them all up with baseball bats. As Womble tries to make sense of it after they all lose, Gladpus just keeps laughing.
    Womble: This is basically like a Fem Dom simulator, isn't it?

Part 2

  • The unsettling reveal that one of the scantily-clad women in the strip club is actually ZF Tom.
    • Later, Womble exits the strip club to find Cyanide instead obsessing over the fancy sports cars outside.
      Cyanide: LOOK AT IT! THE DOORS OPEN UPWARDS! LOOK AT IT!
  • "Tyranneous, why do you look like Hoggle from Labyrinth?"
  • "Ugh, I'm being shot! Ugh, I'm still being—GO YOU FUCK NUGGET!"
  • The entire sequence of the ZF Clan racing in a particularly dangerous dirt road in the mountains, which results in many cars flying off the cliffs.
    • The first race is relatively standard until Soviet drifts off the mountainside and repeatedly says "I can recover, it's fine!" until he falls into a crevice.
      Cyanide: Soviet, I'm sending you a present!
      (flops a corpse over his car)
      Soviet: Did you just throw Kanye West at me!?
      Cyanide: Woooaahh! (his car falls on top of Soviet's)
    • The second race takes place at night, with the cars driven in taxis.
      Soviet: My cab driver's name is Juan.
      Cyanide: My cab driver's name is Dopinder.
    • The third race involves more taxis, with Soviet asking Cyanide for an Indian name to give to the driver. Cyanide suggests "Rahjaesh" and "Rajesh", to which Soviet parses as "Roger the Indian Driver." Partway in the race, Soviet gets suddenly ejected from the taxi after a hard turn, then immediately gets run over by Moogle.
    • In the fourth race with Soviet and Cyanide sitting in the same car, "Roger" once again falls off the cliff, prompting Cyanide to take the wheel when they land, where he then roleplays as an immigrant cabbie, complete with an exaggerated Indian accent.
    Soviet: Seamless, Cyanide, it's seamless. And slightly racist.
  • Cyanide ends up swimming down a river without knowing what's in front of him. Soviet, knowing there's a waterfall, tells him to keep swimming. Cyanide bitterly punches Womble when he resurfaces.
  • Womble, Cyanide, and Tom's utter bafflement at the Le Film Artistique Show Within a Show.
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    PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds Bullshittery 

Part 1

  • Cyanide's mnemonic devices for remembering cardinal directions are "Never Eat Sea Weed" as well as "Nobody Enjoys Soviet Womble." Soviet's response is to light a molotov cocktail to throw at him, only for it to explode in his hand instead.
  • During a game, Cyanide asks Siri if she wants to get dinner sometime. Her response is barely audible, but his reaction says it all:
    Cyanide: What does that — what does that— what?
    Soviet: What did she say?
    Cyanide: Nothing.
    Soviet: Did you just get turned down by Siri?
    Cyanide: No.
    Teammate: I think he did. (starts laughing)
    Soviet: You were, were you? You were fucking turned down by a robot!
    • Later on:
      Cyanide: Siri just keyed up for some reason.
      Siri in the background: Aamir! Your language!
      Cyanide: WHAT!? FUCK YOU!
      (entire chat bursts into hysterics)
  • Soviet's story about how during the middle of sex with a past girlfriend, the music they had playing suddenly cut to audio of The Matrix with Morpheus "giving his big 'What is real' speech".
    Soviet: Trying to continue the rhythm to Laurence Fishburne just sort of just talking was quite difficult. [...] Thanks for the boner-killer, you bald bastard!
  • Soviet's amazement after hearing random clinking noises for no apparent reason that it's coming from his revolver stuck in a loop of ejecting/inserting ammo on its own, which he then interprets as a ghost reloading his pistol.
    Soviet: I'm being haunted by all the shots I've missed.
  • This random conversation in the lobby:
    Cyanide: I don't understand sex.
    Soviet: Yeah, no no no.
    Cyanide: I just want someone to touch my pee pee.
    Soviet: Yeah. (exhales) Tell me about it.
    (beat)
    Cyanide: What, about my pee pee?
    Soviet: No, not your pee pee—
    Cyanide: Well, its average girth and length is—
    Soviet: NOOOO NOOO
  • Soviet's amusement at a bulletproof vest he picks up, which doesn't appear to cover any of his vitals such as his heart and lungs. Cyanide retorts by saying "We call those non-essentials."
  • During a chaotic firefight against two enemies, Soviet finishes off what appears to be an already-downed enemy, and doesn't realize until it's too late that it was Cyanide. Cyanide gets royally pissed and Rage Quits for a moment, and when he returns:
    Soviet: I will start my three-part apology by saying you're a wonderful man—
    Cyanide: NO NO NO sssshhhhhhhhhh. I'm coming to Brighton.
    Soviet: Yeah?
    Cyanide: And I'm going to skin you alive.

Part 2

Part 3

    Rising Storm 2: Vietnam Bullshittery 

Part 1

    Rust Bullshittery 

Part 1

  • The opening Failure Montage of Soviet hunting animals — most of which are glitching out uncontrollably — set to "The Gonk."
  • "I thought he was kidding when he said he built the Reichstag." (turns to a building with a swastika emblazoned on it)
  • The entire segment where the party discovers a newly-spawned player in their world, who they then capture at gunpoint and escort them to their base, which he gladly complies with while asking if this is a nice server. They then proceed to lock him in the "Fight Club room", and force him to partake in a cage battle to the death against another prisoner they had (actually Rotary) with rocks. Rotary is victorious, and everyone else shoots him down as well.
  • "I love Bufkin, I want to keep him. I want to take him home. He got burnt by a fire the other day so he turned around and emptied an entire mag into it."
  • Soviet gets invited to see collage of community-drawn paint signs, which includes pictures of He-Man, an illustration of an actual Womble, the Confederate Flag, and a swastika drawn by Tom. It also prompts this conversation:
    Gladpus: The rose and the drowning man are two random people who came by and we invited to draw. They didn't know who you were, but they were like "Oh yeah, okay, we'll draw."
    Soviet: What do you mean?
    Gladpus: Uh, this rose and the picture of the drowning man.
    Soviet: No, I mean what do you mean they don't know who I am?
    Bevrel: You're not that famous, Womble. (entire chat bursts out laughing)
  • Edberg: (strums a guitar) ♫ Womble is a faggot... ♫ (Soviet instantly headshots him)
  • Later on, Soviet discovers another new player called Supernova outside their base at night.
    Supernova: Hello, can you talk? Answer me!
    Soviet: I'm so sorry, I can't answer you over the sound of the gunfire! (pulls out a gun and kills him)
  • Soviet's interpretation of "A typical game of Rust": He finds two new players named King Swagnar and Frost, then teaches them how to get resources and even takes them to the ZF Clan's base to get them properly equipped and armed. The next day, Soviet decides to leave them off and wishing them good luck, and as he lets them know where to find him again, King casually kills him with the shotgun he gave them.
  • The entire ending where several members of the ZF Clan take Soviet to a small area outside their base... to a sign that reads "streamer", where he's then repeatedly shot to death.
    Soviet: Did they just fucking Jon Snow me!?

Part 2

    Space Engineers Bullshittery 

Part 1

  • Soviet introduces Cyanide to the game, and in particular a very large, crucifix-shaped hole that naturally spawned in an asteroid.
    Cyanide: OH, WHAT THE FUCK!? JESUS! IT'S JESUS! HE'S AMONG US! *Religious noises*
    • "Don't dance in the Jesus sign, what are you doing!?"
    • Shortly after:
      Kaffe: Build inside the cross, "Jesus Space Station".
      Soviet: Isn't that blasphemy?
      Cyanide: Yeah, because you're using science to build it, that's nonsense. Everyone knows science doesn't exist.
  • While Soviet constructs a spaceship, Cyanide repeatedly nudges him out of position, leading to Soviet repeatedly threaten him if he continues doing it again. Cyanide then denies he was ever doing anything... then tries nudging him anyway, zipping away on his jetpack as Soviet pulls out a drill, then slamming into a satellite, killing him.
    • Later on, Cyanide repeatedly annoys Soviet by trying to do a "Spider-Man kiss".
      • "YOU ARE NOW 'THE GAY™'".
  • Gambit somehow manages to mangle the adage "smooth as a baby's bottom" as "smooth as a baby's arsehole."
    Soviet: What!?
    Gambit: Sorry, I mean "arse."
    Soviet: Dude!
  • Cyanide's absolutely epic reaction upon realizing he just painted his ship two different shades of yellow.
  • Cyanide's first ship has three grinders flimsily attached to it, and after clearly having a hard time taking off and flying, we get to witness it from a distance spinning wildly out of control as Cyanide panics, eventually resulting in the grinders breaking off and floating into space.
  • The entire clusterfuck of an ending where they try and use Cyanide's rather tiny ship and a magnetic lock to carry some metal cargo around, and the resulting chaos that happens when he tries to find a way to get around it not having enough thrust.
    • Said scene also makes Womble blurt out a... highly unusual remark:

Part 2

    SWAT 4 Bullshittery 

Part 1

  • The entire party spends an entire bit at the beginning of a mission teabagging a wounded civilian outside the building... until Cyanide realizes there are civilians past the blockade calmly staring at them.
    Soviet: Hello! Hi there, civilians! Protect and serve, protect and serve.
  • Soviet's run-in with two pairs of enemy ragdolls who pile up rather suggestively.
  • World Politics represented with a SWAT team: Womble (Britain) tells everyone to stop tasing each other, only for him, Cyanide (India) and Gambit (Germany) to all get tased before even entering the building by Phoenix (America), proclaiming "YOU'RE ALL MY BITCHES! ALL OF YOU!"
  • The entire scene of Soviet and Phoenix repeatedly failing to enter in a door at the same time.
  • Gambit plays a mission by gunning down every criminal in sight without even declaring himself as Police. After several seconds of this, Cyanide calls for a re-do. While they restart the mission, the clan laughs about it:
    Cyanide: That's so German! "Zey did not comply, so I shot zem!"
  • The ending where upon discovering in-game graffiti reading "Deb is a whore", Soviet slaps down the game's manual to find a "Deb" in the credits, then sends an email to "deb@irrationalgames.conm"... only to find that Irrational Games shut down.

Part 2

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    Viscera Cleanup Detail Bullshittery 
  • ZF Tom's manic obsession with the bucket spawner, leading him to filling up an entire hallway with buckets as the rest of the clan's back is turned.
    Tom: (offscreen) More buckets!
    Soviet: Wait, woah woah woah, did we leave Tom alone with the bucket machine? (finds him) Oh, for fuck's sake, Tom! Stop spawning buckets!
    Tom: MORE BUCKETS! THERE'S NEVER ENOUGH BUCKETS!
    • Eventually, the server actually crashes, which Tom believes was because he spawned too many buckets.
    • Later in a low-gravity area, Tom gets caught fiddling with the biohazard container spawner.
    • Not much later, Zeis develops a similar obsession with washing other players, all while shouting "UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN! DIRTY FUCKING PEASANTS! UNCLEAN!"
  • The group eventually decides to go irreverent and begins mopping blood all over the rooms they're supposed to be cleaning. Once again, the server crashes.
    • After Edberg proudly shows Womble his "art", Womble comments "If you're not on a no fly list somewhere in the world, someone is not doing their job."
  • While cleaning in a space-ship, Soviet decides to open up the airlock to toss some trash out, but the resulting low-gravity screws up Cake's delicately stacked-up crates on the other side of the room, causing her to have a minor meltdown as he apologizes and fails to fix it.
  • In Soviet and Cyanide's session, Cyanide briefly goes AFK, leaving Soviet to talk to himself.
    Soviet: Yeah, Cyanide's talking to his girlfriend, I reckon. I also talk to Cyanide's girlfriend! And by talk, I mean send penis pictures, and I get penis pictures ba—
    Cyanide: (from a distance) No you fucking don't!
  • Soviet's annoyance with Polka 2180 from the Big Banger leads to Cyanide capturing and protecting it just to torment him. Soviet later finds it and attempts to jam it in the incinerator, but Cyanide manages to get it back and leaves it running from a high, hard-to-reach spot.
  • In a later session, the clan discusses how a friend named JFJ, who was previously thought to have no legs, actually does. When he's brought in and more-or-less confirms he does have legs, they also bring in Cramps, the chat's admin, who tags him into the clan as "[ZF] JFJ"... then immediately bans him for three hours.

    We Were Here Bullshittery 
  • In the game's lobby room, with Soviet and Cyanide picking their roles:
    Cyanide: I get to be the Explorer because I'm the man with the big jaw and the lovely, sexy body and I'm the one that's adventurous and Indiana Jon—
    Soviet: You're also the one on the floor, and I'm the one picking you up, presumably, 'cause you're rubbish.
    Cyanide: Maybe.
  • As the two start the game, the two try and figure out where they are via the walkie-talkies:
    Cyanide: I think you've got to help me using whatever resources you have in your library—I presume you're in a library, are you in a library?
    (cut to Soviet's camera who is indeed in a library)
    Soviet: Uh... I'm a casino, it's like full of hookers and slot machines, it's awesome, in fact! It's much better than your room, waaayy better.
    • As they're communicating on the first hieroglyphic puzzle, both of them realize something with the walkie-talkies:
      Soviet: So the backwards "Z" according to the chart...
      (zzt)
      Cyanide: —roglyph.
      Soviet: Oh shit, I think we're talking over each other.
      Cyanide: Oh good! I can just cut you o—
      (zzt)
      Soviet: Like that, see? I can just cut you off, it's brilliant.
      Cyanide: I can hear you— (zzt) Oi! (zzt) You have got—(zzt)—massively inadequate—(zzt)—enis.
    • Much to Soviet's behest, Cyanide doesn't respond to him through the walkie talkie unless he ends with "over." Unfortunately, this leads to a bit of confusion once they solve the puzzle.
      Soviet: Okay, now what? Err— over.
      Cyanide: (zzt)—over.
      Soviet: Over.
      Cyanide: What? Over?
      Soviet: Over.
      Cyanide: You're just saying "Over"?
      Soviet: I thought you were being sarcastic, do you have a message or not?
      Cyanide: No, you dickhead, I said it's done! I got through the fucking door!
      Soviet: Ah, I didn't hear that bit, over.
  • "I've been led into a room where two nipples hanging down from the ceiling, err... a staircase leading down into water... THAT IS SLOWLY RISING, OH SHIT, OI!"
    • Following the valve puzzle, Soviet decides to troll Cyanide by suddenly leaving to go to the bathroom for five minutes. Unfortunately, Cyanide fires back when he returns by leaving his walkie talkie with hold music.
      Cyanide: I'm sorry, we are experiencing higher traffic than usual. Please visit www.twitch.tv/cyanideplaysgames.
      Soviet: Really!? Really? He's promoting himself over the hold music!? I hate this man. I actually hate this man, and I can't do anything about it because he's jamming the damn radio!
      (time passes)
      Cyanide: Thank you for your patience. You will now be connected with our customer service representative, Jeffery. (with a louder Indian accent) HELLO, THIS IS JEFFERY, HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
      Soviet: You are a massive, massive, idiot.
  • The next puzzle has Cyanide with a giant chessboard out in the cold, and is slowly freezing. Soviet takes the time to mess with a film project to watch Harry Potter movies.
    Cyanide: Freezing to death even more!
    Soviet: Okay, stand by, I'm just watching a film.
    Cyanide: Mate, this is not the time to be watching Harry Potter!
    Soviet: I really like Harry Potter! (turns on Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone)
    Cyanide: Soviet!
    Soviet: (watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)
    Cyanide: (freezes even more) AAAARGHHH!
    • The two fail their first attempt due to miscommunication on the steps.
      Cyanide: I'm going to slit your throat and shit down your fucking gullet.
      Soviet: Okay, truth be told, I think that was your fault, really.
    • Cyanide gets much more impatient during the puzzle:
      Soviet: The right side, erm... er... "horse"... erm, fuck, hang on, I gotta play the tape again.
      (Cyanide's screen continues freezing)
      Cyanide: Oh, I am actually going to die now.
      Soviet: Go to the black side!
      Cyanide: Yes, I've been standing there for the last 2 minutes, next!?
      Soviet: Can you stop yelling at me? I'm losing my— okay, okay, you ready?
      Cyanide: STOP ASKING ME IF I'M READY AND JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING INSTRUCTIONS!
      Soviet: Right! The—the pawn that's in front of the black horse on the right, move it one pace forward.
      Cyanide: (moves it) Next...
      Soviet: Right, the black horse that's behind the pawn you just moved, move it to the... the left— the square to the left of that pawn.
      Cyanide: I CAN'T MOVE TWO BLACK MOVES IN ONE!
      Soviet: Yes you can! You—cuh—wha—it just did! The film just did that!
      Cyanide: THAT'S NOT HOW CHESS WORKS!
    • After they finally solve the puzzle...
      Soviet: (laughs) Iiii did it, I'm amazing, I am the best at chess.
      Cyanide: Please stop talking before I attempt to kill you through this walkie talkie.
  • During the first tile puzzle, Cyanide signals for Soviet to find a book with markings on them, which he describes as "the Nyan Cat thing with the happy hands," "penis", "what can only be described as a failed swastika, a dude with his hands up in the air who looks like a DJ, and what looks like a robot standing on a boat."
    • When Soviet finds the directions on what appears to be the corresponding book, he feels the need to read the entire passage in a whimsical voice.
      Soviet: I gotta do the whole thing, man! If I just read out the individual lines of the poem, the magic is lost.
      Cyanide: I might die for your artistic lib—(zzt)
      Soviet: Starting from the far east, after moving towards the north...
    • When they discover they've got the wrong book, Soviet finds another with nearly identical symbols, prompting him to ask Cyanide to be more specific.
      Soviet: How thick is the— (sigh) How thick is the penis?

      "How thick is the penis?"
      - SovietWomble, 2017
    • Once they've confirmed they got the right book, which reads "Starting in the far west corner, one moves north thrice":
      Soviet: Okay, starting right in the middle, take two steps forward.
      Cyanide: (KACHUNK) Dead.
      Soviet: (laughs) Yeah, I know, I'm just fucking with you.
      Cyanide: Oh, go fuck yourself!

      Soviet: Starting in the far west corner, one moves north thrice.
      Cyanide: Now what?
      Soviet: Take one step south...
      Cyanide: Okay.
      Soviet: ...but not before taking two steps east—OH!
      Cyanide: (KACHUNK) OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!
    • Once Cyanide makes it through, he has to direct Soviet to go through the same room. He takes the opportunity for some revenge.
      Cyanide: Okay, I'm gonna put on a mystical voice, because this looks like a mystical text, alright? (turns on reverb) In the western corner, lies your strat... strat? START! FUCK!
  • In the final puzzle, Cyanide is on the stage of a theatre, with Soviet operating the cutout displays of characters and locations. Before they start the play, they get accustomed to what lever pulls out what.
    Cyanide: Don't bring it back out, numpty, put it back in!
    Soviet: Heheheh... heh--sorry.
  • In the game's ending, you're forced to pull a Sadistic Choice where Someone Has to Die as only one of the two players can escape the castle. Cyanide simply has Soviet stand on the pressure plate and breaks for it before he can even realize there was a Sadistic Choice involved.

    Other Random Bullshittery 
  • The sheer amount of terrified screaming and whimpering (mostly from Cyanide) in "Random Dead by Daylight Bullshittery".
    "It's like listening to fucking gibbons."
  • The antics on their TeamSpeak in general, particularly because they're able to set the audio filters or they do something obnoxiously loud.
    Soviet: Hehehe... Have you put the mic up your nose?"
    Random: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? JESUS...
  • The entire mess in "Random Portal 2 Bullshittery" of Soviet and Cyanide's repeated misunderstandings and failures of properly coordinating a "3-2-1" countdown. It somehow goes so horribly wrong, you'd swear in any other context it'd be a lost Abbott and Costello routine. When they do open the door, it immediately closes again.
  • The "Random Fishing Planet Bullshittery" is hilarious for its ending: After completing the tutorial, they realize that despite its advertisements, the game didn't actually support multiplayer by the time of recording, ending the video after just over three and a half minutes.
  • A moment of frustration in "Random Golf It Bullshittery" has Soviet slamming his desk in anger, which causes the game screen to slip down and reveal the desktop beneath. Among the icons are three folders: "Cake's Nudes", "Nep's Nudes", and "NBK's Nudes". The latter of which is the only one with files inside.
  • In "Random Far Cry 3 Bullshittery", after finding out the main character had a working phone the entire time...
    In a more sensible universe...
    Soviet!Jason: (on the phone) Hello, US Embassy in Papua New Guinea, I'm part of a group of seven US Citizens on Rook Island, six of whom are being held hostage by a group of slavers, pirates and drugs traffickers.
    (Beat)
    Soviet!Jason: Also, none of the pirates are white.
    (Cut to footage of a US Navy Carrier Group and US Marines landing on an island as "America, F**k Yeah" plays, followed by the Marines shooting the pirates, shooting Vaas repeatedly, and rescuing the hostages)
    Soviet!Liza: Ah, we're saved. Thank you, Jason, for calling people specifically qualified for this exact situation, instead of spending three days getting high in the jungle, before fighting the pirates single-handedly like some sort of irresponsible fratboy ARSEHOLE.
    Soviet!Jason: Ah, you're very welcome Liza. You see, unlike the pirates who captured a group of US Citizens well within the reach of the US Navy, I do not have shit for brains.
    Soviet!Liza: OH, take me!
    (Meanwhile in normal Far Cry)
    Soviet: And here I am, attacking the pirates single-handedly, like some irresponsible, fratboy arsehole.
    • Later on:
      Jason: What did she mean? Bring her "what has been lost"?
      Dennis: Drink and you will find an answer.
      Soviet: Yeah, I don't really feel safe passing out near Dennis.
      Dennis: You are speaking out of fear.
      Soviet: Yeah, fear you're going to brand me again!
      Soviet: (As Jason drinks the potion) Everyone on this island is fucking nuts.
    • One dream sequence later...
      Soviet: (As Jason wakes up in front of Dennis and notices he has a new tattoo) Oh, FUCKING HELL, DENNIS!
    • Earlier, Womble was being attacked by a pirate in a car, so he immediately shot the pirate in the head through the window... Only to witness what appears to be the bullet ricocheting wildly in the car, repeatedly striking the pirate's corpse, and shaking the whole vehicle wildly until it finally crashes through the window.note 
  • Quebec's Casual Danger Dialogue during his playthrough of Monstrum.
    • His response to his first run-in with the Fiend, which he only notices when it spots him and starts screeching:
    Quebec: (completely deadpan)' Oh, hello there. We're going to go this way, on the grounds that you're an ugly fuck
    • Upon acquiring a weapon:
    Quebec: I do have a fire extinguisher, the single most powerful weapon ever created. Power of an atomic bomb, range of a cocktail stick.
    • Later, while trying to hide:
    Quebec: Lock myself in the bathroom... if only we knew somebody that had experience like that.
  • Womble's solo adventure into Mount & Blade: Warband is full of laughs as he attempts to figure out how the game even works:
    • During character creation:
      • Womble chooses several somewhat unfortunate origins:
      Text: As a boy growing out of childhood, [you were] sent to live in the court of one of the nobles of the land.
      Womble: Did he molest me?
      Text: There, [your] first lessons were in humility...
      Womble: Yeah, he molested me.
      Text: As you waited upon the lords and ladies of the household...
      Womble: Jesus, how much was I moleste—
    • His first skirmish with his band of hired soldiers and bandits goes successfully, even if Womble has no idea what to actually do other than stab one enemy on horseback and shoot an already-dead corpse. During the post-battle report:
      Womble: (reads "1 Peasant Woman (1 killed) Sorry, a pregnant woma— oh, sorry, a peasant woman! Sorry, I thought "Why was there a pregnant woman in the middle of a fight?", sorry, a peasant woman. (beat) Why was there a peasant woman in the middle of a fight?
    • Womble enlists in a jousting tournament and chaos instantly ensues, not helped by the tremendous Artificial Stupidity, with enemies huddled up in a corner or left chasing Womble in a circle for three minutes straight.
    • Womble's attempt at training with soldiers for experiences ends miserably, ending as a pure No-Holds-Barred Beatdown from multiple enemies wailing on him from every angle.
      • Later, he's hired to train a village of peasants, and it results in him getting wailed on by nondescript bearded peasant. The game registers this as him getting down the basics of soldiering, bringing more for additional training, and it's the same guy.
      Womble: You don't need any training at all! You just signed up as an excuse to hit m—(dies) Oh, fuck me!
    • After being informed by his Twitch chat that you can get married in the game, Womble scrolls through the list of women... then changes his mind after realizing what they all look like.
    • Womble ends up being summoned for an army, and their first siege of an enemy castle goes awkwardly, featuring additional clunky AI, screaming men (everyone captioned with rumbling "AAGHH" captions), and Womble ending up hiding trapped in a section of the ramparts without health or weapons... and then his army abruptly wins.
      Womble: (seeing soldiers bouncing in the overworld castle) Oh, they're so excited they're bouncing up and down having an orgy.
      Report: After consulting with the peers of the realm, King Harlaus has decided to confer Knudarr Castle on King Harlaus.
      Womble: (laughs) "Friends, countrymen, I have decided that this castle shall be awarded to myself, to meeee."
    • After being tasked to gather cattle for a village, he directly purchases 5 cattle from a nearby ranch, but unfortunately realizes too late he made himself broke doing so. Even worse, he has no idea how to herd them, so he spends the entire day trying to shove them to their destination... and by nightfall, they completely fade out of the overworld, leaving Soviet bankrupt and exasperatedly cry-laughing.
    • In a truly baffling display of scripting, Womble gets curbstomped trying to infiltrate a castle and ends up thrown in the dungeon for several days, only for his party to siege it but not free him. Several days in while still trapped in the cell, Womble inexplicably gets an invitation from King Graveth for a feast in the middle of the battle and on the other side of the continent, his party manages to take over the town, dashes to the feast, all while never freeing him.
  • "Holdfast: Nations at War shows the brutal reality of 19th century musket warfare..." is hilarious in the sheer amount of things going on. For extra humor points, bear in mind that as many viewers can attest, this insanity is the norm among the game's community rather than the exception.
    • Several soldiers speaking in obnoxious Brooklyn accents throughout the video:
      Soldier 1: Hey, medic, I got shot in the ass, get over here!
      Soldier 2: Hey! Joey Patooie, how you doin'?
      Soldier 1: How you doin'?
      Soldier 2: How you doin'? I'm walkin' here!
      Soldier 1: I'M WALKIN' HERE!
      • At one point, Womble expresses doubt that these are British soldiers.
      Womble: Where the hell are you from?
      "British" Soldier: South Yorkshire!
    • As they are in line, some of the men burst into German and talk about german sausage.
    • A random officer jumping up and down, laughing all the time.
    • Someone randomly smelling men in a line until Platoon Leader Dinklebean tells them to stop. It's implied it's a girl doing the smelling.
      Dinklebean: (as soldiers shout "I'M WALKIN HERE!" during a charge) Why are there so many gentlemen from the colonies?
    • A player named KRRC calling out Crazy Bearsson on trying some kind of cult sacrifice before getting hit by an artillery shell.
    • "Someone's vaping. Who's vaping?"
    • Reeeeeeeee! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- *DENIED*
    • A group of soldiers dancing to a trumpet version of Justin Timberlake's "Can't Stop the Feeling" as someone runs by having a "Nepgasm."
    • Womble breaking down and yelling "My immersion!"
    • "My nipples are hard." "What?"
    • Happy Hitler selling drugs on the battlefield.
      Womble: Remember, kids: Don't buy drugs off Hitler.
    • "I got a musket you can blow."
    • Womble summing it all up with "This is a tad silly."
  • From "Random Pavlov Bullshittery (Counter-Strike in Virtual Reality)":
  • Soviet and Cyanide's continuing frustration with escorting Captain Keyes during their Halo streams, with Keyes deciding it makes complete sense to run ahead of the Power Armor wearing Super Soldiers. It gets to the point that, after one particularly annoying death, Soviet asks if he can just kill Keyes, and Cyanide instantly gives him permission. After they restart, Cyanide kills him, and Soviet is completely fine with it. Cyanide ends up deciding that he has no concept of mortality, whatsoever, with Soviet saying he's like CartonWaffle.
    • After Keyes dies because he charged towards an Elite with a plasma sword. Again:
      Cyanide: Why is he so bad?
      Soviet: He's worse than we are!
      (Keyes charges at an Elite and dies again)
      Cyanide: GODDAMMIT You useless fucking idiot!
      Soviet: Fucking...well, this is why he's the captain, clearly, he stays in space, he has no combat experience on the ground whatsoever. He just ran towards them, did you see that, he just ran towards them!
      Cyanide: Well, apparently he's fucking deluded and thinks he's got a fucking power.. power armor suit on.
      Soviet: We should get him in ZF.
    • When they finally reach the end of the level, during the cutscene where they get on the Covenant dropship:
      Cortana: Give me a minute to interface with the ship's controls,
      Keyes: No need, I'll take this bird out myself,
      Cyanide: Again, no concept of mortality whatsoever.
      (Keyes rams the ship into two Hunters)
      Cyanide: What does he think he fucking is, like seriously?
      Soviet: And then he crashes into the ceiling.
  • In a incredibly Black Comedy way, The Dancing Lich.
    Comment: Thank you, this video will be very useful against you in court.

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