Line #147 Funny/RedVsBlueSeason14


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6
7	[[AC:Trailer]]
8	* The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0_N1qpr4ms teaser trailer]] sees a Freelancer Pelican slam through a supposedly metaphorical window in space.
9	-->'''Carolina''': What the '''hell''' was ''that''?!\
10	'''North''': I think it was a window...?\
11	'''Wyoming''': [[RunningGag Knock Knock!]]\
12	'''South''': He said 'window', not 'door'.\
13	'''York''': A window? Just, on its own? I mean, not attached to anything?\
14	'''Niner''': ''[[LampshadeHanging What the hell's a window doing in the middle of space?!]]''\
15	'''Wash''': '''''I DON'T KNOW! JUST KEEP FLYING!'''''\
16	''(Two Longswords blast past the screen while [[MoreDakka firing]])''
17	* Among the people contributing to this? Actual Canadian Barbara Dunkleman!
18	* Shortly after a staff roll, the Blood Gulch Crew's Pelican bumps into the logo, to Sarge's confusion.
19	-->'''Sarge''': What the heck was ''that''?!\
20	'''Caboose''': I think it was a [[BreakingTheFourthWall logo]].
21
22	[[AC: Episode 1: Room Zero]]
23	* It starts off with the animated short they made. So expect some laughs, including the grunts being able to beat up Grif and Simmons. In fact, the grunts sound more brave, and profane.
24	-->'''One of the Grunts:''' Get some bitch!
25	* Church arguing with another Church in the Epsilon unit over how to find Tex. One Church gets so fed up that he slugs his double, hurting both of them. And then the punchline;
26	-->'''Church 1:''' What if we killed Caboose?\
27	'''Church 2:''' What would that do?\
28	'''Church 1:''' Make me feel a lot better.\
29	'''Church 2:''' Huh. Good point.
30
31	[[AC: Episode 2: From Stumbled Beginnings]]
32	* Grif, Simmons, and a guy called [[MauveShirt Hammer]] need remedial training and are sent to Timberland on a recon mission. HilarityEnsues.
33	** The bomb that kills Hammer has "REDS SUCK" written on it.
34	** Returning to Blue Base, Grif and Simmons talk about Hammer:
35	-->'''Grif:''' The way I see it, we did him a favor. He wanted to go out a hero.\
36	'''Simmons:''' So what, is that we're gonna tell everyone?!\
37	''(Cut to Simmons and Grif telling the "story" to the other boot camp recruits.)''\
38	'''Simmons:''' ...and then, Hammer heroically sacrificed himself to save us! We got out just as the bomb detonated!\
39	'''Grif:''' ''(sniffle)'' He... he went out a hero.\
40	''(Soldiers cheer)''\
41	'''Red Soldier:''' Wait a minute, why didn't Hammer just leave with you guys instead of letting the bomb go off?\
42	'''Simmons:''' Hey man, don't disgrace Hammer's memory like that!\
43	'''Grif:''' Yeah, rude. Oh, a-and also, he said that we're also all heroes, and we should get the next two weeks off. And, uh, and I think we should honor his dying wish.
44	** Unbeknownst to, and unfortunately for Grif and Simmons, the mission was actually a success. What they think was a failure and a lie has escalated into the two of them graduating from training and being sent out to the simulation war.
45	--->'''Grif:''' Is it too late to let you know that we didn't actually do anything and Hammer died a foolish death?
46
47	[[AC: Episode 3: Fifty Shades of Red]]
48	* This episode shows process in which Sarge was chosen for Blood Gulch. There are an entire squad of them, all with the same kind of mindset as Sarge, much to Florida's glee.
49	* Sarge got [[HisNameReallyIsBarkeep his name]] by taking "dress for the job you want" to it's illogical conclusion.
50	* The potential Sergeants are so alike that they start speaking in unison.
51	--> '''Soldiers:''' [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike Sounds good to me! Jinx! Ah, you got me! Double jinx! Well played!]] [[RuleOfThree Triple jinx! Damn it!]]
52	* When asked to guide Buckshot through defusing a live bomb, Sarge asks for a flamethrower (decorated Sharkface style, through some insane coincidence), which he then uses to burn the instructions for how to defuse it. [[InsaneTrollLogic Because using the instructions]] would have been cheating. Needless to say, Buckshot does not survive the exercise.
53	* One of Flowers' potential recruits answers every question by talking about how great a listener he is. [[EpicFail He completely forgets what they were talking about.]] Really says a lot about Tucker...
54	* When Flowers returns from interviewing the Blues to check on the Reds, he is stunned to see all but two (Sarge and Daggerknife) dead. Apparently Sarge assumed that the rubber bullets that Lemons had given them were an error, so they all swapped them for live rounds ([[DumbassHasAPoint he did give them a real bomb to defuse, after all]]).
55	* Lemons has no idea who to give the post to, since the survivors are both equally incompetent. Sarge and Daggerknife decide that it's up to them to choose. [[InsaneTrollLogic Daggerknife decides to prove that he's the best man for the job by]] [[TooDumbToLive shooting himself in the head to prove he's willing to die for the Red cause]]. [[InsaneTrollLogic Sarge agrees that this makes him the perfect candidate.]]
56
57	[[AC: Episode 4: Why They're Here]]
58	* [[CallBack We learn the true story of Private Jimmy.]] It's a combination of NightmareFuel and BlackComedy:
59	--> [[spoiler: '''Flowers:''' [[DissonantSerenity Prepare him for A.I. implantation]].]]\
60	'''Jimmy:''' Wait, wha--AAAH! WHAT'RE YOU DOING TO MY SKULL?! AAAHH!! THIS DOESN'T SEEM PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE!!!
61	* "[[TemptingFate Nothing short of an aspirin overdose will stop this plan from succeeding!]]"
62	* Flowers forgot to account for one other variable--''himself.'' Tripping over a power cable caused [[spoiler: Vic to short-circuit, turning him into the erratic and rambling idiot of the Blood Gulch Chronicles.]]
63	-->'''Flowers:''' Aw, fiddlesticks!
64	-->'''Vic:''' Agent Florida-da-DA-dA-Da-DA-DA-DA--DUDE!
65	* Not to mention that [[spoiler: said short-circuit replaced the roster of replacements--instead of Freelancer agents, the list included future characters such as Caboose, Donut, and Sister!]]
66	* [[ActorAllusion Simmons is inexplicably sensitive about the Vegas Quadrant.]]
67	* Flowers theorizes that the Blood Gulch "conflict" will be at such a stalemate that it'll last for [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall fourteen seasons]].
68	-->'''Flowers''': I prefer to think of the passage of time in terms of the four seasons as opposed to the standard Gregorian calendar.
69	* The utterly bizarre feeling that comes after Sarge says this. It's like something out of a twisted MirrorUniverse episode.
70	-->'''Sarge:''' [[SincerityMode Thank you, Private Grif, for reporting this incident! You sure are a fine soldier.]] [[DramaticIrony I think you and I are gonna get along just fine.]]
71	** This is [[FridgeBrilliance actually a reference to the]] [[EarlyInstallmentWeirdness inconsistency]] of the first episode of Red vs Blue, where Grif and Simmons' relationship with Sarge were swapped.
72	* On the Blue Team's first day of spying on the Reds, Flowers comments cryptically, "I think everything is going to work out ''just fine...''" as the camera gives us a wide-shot. Then...
73	-->'''Tucker:''' Uh, why he's just turned away talking like that?\
74	'''Church:''' Dude, I have no idea. This is the weirdest day from waking up from a coma, ever.
75
76	[[AC: Episode 5: The Brick Gulch Chronicles]]
77	* This episode is essentially ''WesternAnimation/TheLegoMovie'' but with Red vs Blue.
78	* Answering the classic question.
79	-->'''Grif''': [[ArcWords You ever wonder why we're here?]]\
80	'''Simmons''': I actually have a theory about that. You see, it's all about connections. I'm connected to the ground, the ground's connected to you, you're connected to Blue Base. It's like we're all one thing.\
81	''({{Beat}})''\
82	'''Grif''': [[LampshadeHanging I can't decide if that's deep or just literal.]]\
83	'''Simmons''': ...Both?
84	* Simmons asks Caboose to bring them something valuable and important. Caboose brings them Church. The sight of Caboose holding his "best friend" in his arms is both funny and heartwarming. Even funnier is how the two actually consider bringing Church to Sarge as a prisoner.
85	* After being taken outside, Church is confused as to why everything is now "smooth and colorful". Grif, noting that everything is similar, but better, asks if they're in Canada.
86	* Meta: the captions for the video on [=YouTube=] [[FridgeLogic outright ask how Malcolm got a hold of hydrochloric acid.]]
87	* The RunningGag of Simmons thinking that all potential threats have [[LivingMotionDetector sight based on movement.]]
88	--> '''Grif''': You say that about everything and it's NEVER been true!
89	* The lampshading of Donut somehow coming back less than three minutes after being killed.
90	-->'''Donut''': ''Remember me how I was!'' (is dropped into the acid beaker, [[NoKillLikeOverkill instantly vaporizes]])
91	-->'''Simmons''': DONUT! (to the sky) ''[[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-]]''
92	-->'''Griff''': (as Simmons continues to scream) [[NotSoDire Meh,]] [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall I'm sure he'll turn up again in three years.]]
93	-->'''Church''': [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe But we just watched him die!]]
94	-->'''Griff''': Happened before.
95	** And sure enough, when Simmons tells Sarge later that Donut died, [[OffscreenTeleportation Donut pops up behind him]].
96	-->'''Sarge''': Congratulations! You've been rescued. My perfect record of never leaving a man behind remains unbesmirched.
97	-->'''Simmons''': Yeah... about that Sarge... We lost Donut.
98	-->'''Donut''': (Appears right behind Simmons and walks casually into view) [[UnexplainedRecovery Actually, i'm right here.]]
99	-->'''Church''': Okay, how did he do that...?
100	* "''Not now, mom, I'm doing a science!''"
101	* [[ObligatoryJoke As soon as they get back inside, the guys make an unfortunate discovery.]]
102	-->'''Grif''': (scared) [[RunningGag It's like... some sort of big cat!]]
103	** Luckily, the cat goes away... [[FromBadToWorse because it got scared off by the Roomba.]]
104	* Grif and the giant slice of pizza.
105	-->'''Grif''': ''[[WorthIt Tell them... Worth it. It was all... worth it.]]''
106	** When they return to their sets:
107	--->'''Grif''': ''[[DrivenToSuicide Kill... me...]]''
108	* Tucker tries throwing a firecracker at Malcolm. [[AntiClimax It has the effect you'd expect.]] [[SubvertedTrope But it]] ''[[SubvertedTrope does]]'' [[SubvertedTrope get him grounded, so it's something.]]
109	* As it turns out, "Malcolm" is in fact a young Malcom Hargrove, [[ObviouslyEvil which honestly makes too much sense]]. And his mother is played by Jen Brown. Even in an alternate universe, Carolina saves the BGC in some way.
110	** When his mom comes in to yell at him for setting off firecrackers in the house, Malcolm attempts to explain himself... but given the explanation is "the toys did it", he wisely decides to instead go to his room forever.
111	* At the end of the episode, Caboose brings Sarge a cake to wish him a happy birthday. Too bad the candle he uses is a firecracker...
112
113	[[AC: Episode 6: Orange is the New Red]]
114	* Sue, bragging about how cool he looks, accentuates the point by flexing and turning around to show off his ass.
115	* Turf reminds his Team of their mission;
116	-->'''Turf:''' Our assignment is to destroy ''all the Blues'', no matter the cost to ourselves!\
117	'''Drag:''' Or our butts.\
118	'''Santos:''' Think of the butts, Colonel!
119	* How did the Funhaus Reds defeat their rival blue team? They didn't. [[SpaceshipGirl Cherry]] did.
120	-->'''Turf:''' So, was it our plan to have a giant spaceship crash down on the blue base? No. But did we capitalize on that opportunity like a couple of badass soldiers entrenched in a seemingly-endless battle with our cerulean enemies? HELL YEAH!
121	-->'''Cherry:''' That crash was ''user error'', thank you very much.
122	* What was the designation of this enemy team that was so unceremoniously KilledOffscreen? [[Creator/AchievementHunter AH13]].
123	* A RunningGag is established of [[ButtMonkey Captain Morgan]] being mocked for sharing a name with a brand of rum.
124	* Another RunningGag of Santos complaining about the ship not having a wine-bar.
125
126	[[AC: Episode 7: Invaders from Another Mother]]
127	* When Turf's Red Team goes to scope out Blood Gulch, since it's set in Season One, there's much LeaningOnTheFourthWall with the difference in graphics.
128	* Turf's plan to wipe out the Blood Gulch Blues? The same way that [=FH57=]'s Blue enemies were killed: [[SuicideAttack crashing Cherry into their base]]. Needless to say, the other soldiers are less than enthusiastic about this....
129	-->'''Morgan:''' Er, Colonel, don't you think you're being a bit rash?\
130	'''Cherry:''' Setting course for Blue Base!\
131	'''Turf:''' Do you think they called UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington rash?!\
132	'''Cherry:''' Verifying coordinates!\
133	'''Drag:''' [[AnalogyBackfire George Washington didn't try to crash a spaceship into a military compound hidden in a canyon full of blue-armored space-marines]]!\
134	'''Turf:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Heh, sounds like I got one up on Washington himself]]! Sink your wooden teeth into that, George!\
135	'''Cherry:''' Calculating suicide route!\
136	'''Morgan:''' Suicide route!? Who even calls it that?\
137	'''Santos:''' Must be a glitch in our vocal-translation protocol. I should make a note to fix that.\
138	'''Drag:''' We'll all be dead by then!\
139	'''Santos:''' You don't have to yell, geez, fine, ''I'll'' go fix it! Peake, let's go!\
140	''(Santos runs off. After a moment, Peake follows after him)''\
141	'''Drag:''' We work with idiots!\
142	'''Turf:''' ''(Sniffs)'' Brave idiots. Godspeed, soldiers.
143	* Turf continues proving himself to be the "Sarge" of [=FH57=] by coming up with completely grandiose and impractical plans to distract and/or kill the Blues. When Morgan convinces him to scout out Blood Gulch instead of engaging in the SuicideAttack mentioned above, Turf still wants to draw the Blues away from [[TankGoodness Sheila]] by [[NoKillLikeOverkill blowing up a whole mountain with tons of C4]]-- which is not only unnecessary, but impossible, seeing as how the scouting team didn't even ''bring'' C4.
144	* Santos discovers that Peake actually found the aliens that own the spaceship in the cargo hold, but has been covertly taking care of them due to having been ignored every time he tried to tell the others. What's the first thought that comes into his head? Using them to take over the ship...so that he can finally have that wine-bar he's always wanted.
145	* [=FH57's=] away team running into Caboose, who was summoned by Sue's "desert dance". Of course, Caboose finds the sudden appearance of graphically superior Red soldiers plotting to kill him and his team on the cliffs to be simply "[[UnusuallyUninterestingSight weird]]."
146	* Sue proves to be the "Donut" of the [=FH57=] simply through his interactions with Caboose;
147	-->'''Sue:''' So, it's really important that you don't tell anyone you saw us.. Otherwise, we can't kill all of your friends.\
148	'''Caboose:''' Ah, that makes sense.\
149	'''Turf:''' ''(Sighs, cocks gun)'' Imma kill 'em both!
150	* The first thing out of Drag's mouth the moment Turf and co. are onboard:
151	-->'''Drag''': [[MotorMouth Colonel, we have a problem, Santos wants a wine bar so he got the aliens and now they're a cult that worships Peake and he wants to take over the ship.]]
152	-->'''Morgan''': We weren't even gone for an hour!
153
154	[[AC: Episode 8: The #1 Movie in the Galaxy: 3]]
155	* This episode is a faux-trailer for a live-action movie staring Sarge called ''Sarge V Tucker: Origin of Sin''... Which turns out to be a preview for a movie the Blood Gulch Crew is about to watch.
156	-->'''Sarge:''' They... ''butchered'' my movie! [...] It was supposed to be a tone piece about the nature of war! And that [=McConaughey=] guy is a total miscast for me! The guy has no shoulders!\
157	'''Washington:''' Seriously? That whole thing looked right up your alley!\
158	'''Sarge:''' Cleary, you don't understand my refined tastes, Agent Washington!
159
160	[[AC: Episode 9: Club]]
161	* "Blonde, bisexual, ''bridesmaid''... That is the '''unicorn''' of club girls!"
162	* The duo's preparations are interrupted by a club goer wanting to use the bathroom. Their response is to drag him into the bathroom and leave him unconscious inside one of the stalls.
163	* The subtitles for part of the fight describe the sounds as "[[UnsoundEffect Blunt force trauma]]".
164	* Locus tosses a stun grenade at two shooters at the same time Felix comes around the corner to shoot them. As a result, Felix takes the gas and is ''[[ClusterFBomb pissed]]''.
165	* Immediately after that, one of the men they're fighting calls out about how they're dead meat while Felix and Locus are taking cover behind an overturned desk. Without even looking around it, Felix nonchalantly [[OffhandBackhand shoots the guy twice around the corner]].
166	* Felix listing Gabriel Lazano's crimes (murder, drug trafficking, money laundering, rape), calling them "literally the most jailable offenses you could possibly imagine".
167	* Then they argue over the aforementioned gas incident.
168	-->'''Felix:''' You said comms were useless! \
169	'''Locus:''' I meant downstairs!\
170	'''Felix:''' ''[[ExactWords Useless!]]''\
171	'''Locus:''' (''Throws an unconscious Gabriel down'') '' That doesn't mean "remove your earpiece"!'' \
172	'''Felix:''' Well, I'm sorry I couldn't read that broken fucking brain of yours, and suddenly know that you actually meant the opposite OF WHAT YOU FUCKING SAID!
173	* You ''really'' got to appreciate [[HilariousInHindsight the]] [[DramaticIrony irony]] in hearing '''''Felix''''' refer to himself and Locus as "the good guys".
174	* Siris lecturing Locus and Felix for not using their comms leads him to admit that he expects this recklessness from Felix, but not from Locus. You ''know'' that comment annoyed Felix.
175
176	[[AC: Episode 10: Call]]
177	* As the trio are driving along, Gabriel wakes up and starts yelling and banging on the inside of the car trunk. Felix's reaction? Casually turning on the radio loud enough to drown out Gabriel.
178	* "Split three ways that asshole's still buying me a new car, you get your wife something nice, Locus does...whatever he does with money, I'm assuming therapy?"
179	* Felix getting voicemail before finally reaching Ruben Lazano.
180	-->'''Felix:''' ''MOTHERFUCKER!!''\
181	'''Siris:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Maybe he's not home.]]\
182	'''Felix:''' [[SarcasmMode Very funny]]
183	* Seconds later, when Reuben calls Felix and asks what he intends to do with Gabriel, Felix lets out a slight evil laugh that has Locus and Siris share a "Seriously?" glance.
184	* What happened to the girl that Gabriel snagged at the begining of the story? How did daddy know so much about Felix and Locus? She was under Gabriel's desk when it all went down, with it ''heavily'' implied that she wasn't there hiding from the mercs, but entertaining.
185	-->'''Felix:''' Under your... Oh. [[SarcasmMode Oh, oh, that is perfect! Classy too!]]\
186	'''Locus:''' (''Closes his eyes in [[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation possible]] disgust'')
187
188	[[AC: Episode 11: Consequences]]
189	* After giving Felix a gun, Locus preemptively chews him out about [[HowDareYouDieOnMe using it to]] [[DrivenToSuicide kill himself]]:
190	-->'''Locus''': We have enough firepower. We also have the cliff to our backs, and a full understanding of the terrain. We have survived worse. ''But if you waste a single one of our rounds on yourself, I will be '''very''' unhappy.''
191	* Felix, wounded in one leg and literally leaning on Locus for support, sees one of the mob soldiers and throws his knife at him. The butt end of the knife hits, instead of the blade. But, it's enough to get a RailingKill. "That works." Locus giving him a "Are you serious?" look and Felix smiling gleefully back is the icing on the cake.
192	* After [[spoiler:saving Siris from being killed by Ruben]], all Felix can say is a matter-of-fact "What a douche.".
193	* Siris nonchalantly remarking that [[spoiler:it would've been smarter to turn Ruben in for the reward money instead of killing him]].
194
195	[[AC: Episode 12: Fight the Good Fight]]
196	* The entire opening to the episode. The recruitment document is a standout, if you can read behind the black markup.
197	* The promotional video is very clearly the same for the Red and Blue armies, with the color of the team said in a completely different tone indicating it was essentially copy-pasted in.
198	** You can tell the Blue Team's tape was made first, as when the tape shows a patriotic shot of the flag, it actually shows a color-corrected Blue Team flag with the eagle-over-combat-knives design, rather than the actual Red Team flag with a cobra-over-diamond design.
199	* Whoever was making the video clearly wasn't expecting the Red and Blue teams to be [[GoneHorriblyRight evening more incompetent than advertised]], [[FriendlyEnemy and on good terms with each other]].
200	* Grif and Simmons being caught looking at porn. It's worth pointing out that of the two photos visibly seen of said porn, one of them ''is '''Santa Claus'''''.
201	* The interviewer decides to give Grif a rocket launcher. Simmons keeps wanting to know why ''he'' got it.
202	-->'''Grif''': I can keep the rocket launcher, right?
203	* Sarge still refuses to believe that Grif is a Sergeant, going so far as to blast Simmons [[WhosOnFirst when he keeps mockingly talking about Grif's rank]].
204	* Grif questions if they are back to hating the Blues, since both sides have been cool "since the whole alien thing [[SayingTooMuch with the Freelancer--]]"
205	-->'''Narrator''': ''ALRIGHT, TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!''
206	* We eventually get to see part of the Blue recruitment tape. It's not that much better:
207	-->'''Narrator''': Uh, gentlemen--\
208	'''Tucker''': ''(to Church)'' But I told [Sister] I had a sniper rifle! She's expecting me to bring it!\
209	'''Narrator''': Ge-gentlemen-\
210	'''Church''': ''(to Tucker)'' I don't care ''what'' you told Grif's sister! I am ''not'' letting you take ''my'' sniper rifle on ''your'' imaginary date!\
211	'''Tucker''': It's not imaginary! She's totally into me!\
212	'''Narrator''': ''Will you please just focus?!''\
213	'''Tucker''': ''(to the Narrator)'' ...who are you again?
214	** We then cut back to Red Base, where things have... deteriorated:
215	--->'''Grif''': (aiming his rocket launcher at Sarge) [[PunctuatedForEmphasis For the last. Time. We. Are. The. Same. Rank!]]
216	*** The DutchAngle of the shot implies that the cameraman was next to get shot.
217
218	[[AC: Episode 13: Meta vs Carolina: Dawn of Awesome]]
219	* In the teaser trailer for an upcoming episode in the ''WebAnimation/DeathBattle'' episode "[[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Mewtwo]] vs. [[Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog Shadow the Hedgehog]]", Grif brings back the "Ever wonder..?" question by asking if Simmons wondered who'd win between Agent Carolina and the Meta. Simmons scoffs at that, replying that "only nerds on the Internet would ask that!"
220	--->'''Grif:''' Uh, yeah? Why do you think I'm asking you?
221	* "Oh, [[SarcasmMode I didn't realize]] ''scariness'' was the deciding factor in a fight to the ''fucking death''!"
222	* In the episode proper, Boomstick uses Grif to showcase the gear used by the combatants. Poor Grif.
223	* Which ties into the ending: [[spoiler:Sarge realizes that Boomstick might be his son that he up and abandoned and runs away. And Boomstick doesn't realize it.]] Even better as Boomstick is the ''only one'' who doesn't catch it, after Sarge awkwardly leaves everyone turns to Boomstick to see his reaction. Yes, even Caboose.
224	* Simmons and Grif finding out that Tex is Carolina's mother. Caboose claims it was "super obvious."
225	-->'''Simmons''': Huh. ...suddenly everything makes a lot more sense.\
226	'''Grif''': Fuck, dude... remember when all we used to do was stand around and talk?\
227	'''Simmons''': Yeah, good times.\
228	'''Grif''': Good times...
229	* Grif thinks Wiz and Boomstick's names are the dumbest he's ever heard. Simmons reminds him that they work with Franklin Delano Donut.
230	* The fight itself has some funny moments too:
231	** Before the fight starts, Carolina is doing some target practice. Her time just falls short of her best, which means Epsilon gets to pick what movie they see. Carolina asks him not to pick another terrible action movie. Church’s response?
232	--->'''Epsilon''': Oh, come on, they’re hilarious. Everyone talks in one-liners and the plot’s nonexistent. [[LampshadeHanging It’s like the characters are just there to beat the shit out of each other.]]
233	** A running gag in the show is that characters commonly mutter out, or shout [[PrecisionFStrike "Son of a bitch!"]] before something really bad happens to them. [[spoiler: Since Meta is mute, Church says it for him.]]
234	--->'''Epsilon:''' [[spoiler: Hey! Hey hey! Hold up... Uh, hey so I know that you're about to pummel her ginger face in and all, but you also only talk in grunts. So, I'm just going to say this one line for you, kay? Just this one time. ''(Meta realizes that Carolina has his gun and is pointing it at him)'']] OH! Son of a bitch!
235	** The reaction to the fight.
236	--->'''Grif''': Holy shit!\
237	'''Caboose''': I know! [[spoiler: He did not even have a head under his helmet! He was a ghost the whole time! Like Bruce Willis.]]
238
239	[[AC: Episode 14: Grey vs. Grey]]
240	* A Red team and a Blue team are trapped in a room, and one soldier named Hutch dies when the lights briefly goes out. HilarityEnsues;
241	* First, y'know that DeliberateMonochrome? That's not an aesthetic. The soldiers- each and every one of them -is '''colorblind!''' "What are the odds of that?!"
242	* And of course, that leads to some confusion when none of them can remember which team they were on.
243	* And their attempts to figure out who shot Hutch. The narrator at the end reveals [[spoiler: Hutch died of a heart attack ''just before a trigger was fired.'']]
244
245	[[AC: Episode 15: Caboose's Guide to Making Friends]]
246	* VIC's utter amazement that Caboose somehow managed to show up in his "fourth wall breaking episode prologue". He's so impressed he's not even mad and gives him the floor.
247	-->'''Vic:''' Alrighty amigos, it's time for another one of Vic’s stories! Now, this time I was thinking of hitting you all with the origin of--\
248	'''Caboose:''' Friendship.\
249	'''Vic:''' Uh, whoa, dude, how did you get in here?\
250	'''Caboose:''' I used the door.\
251	'''Vic:''' You used the door? To get into this [[BreakingTheFourthWall fourth wall breaking]] episode prologue? [[LetMeGetThisStraight You found a door that to do that?]]\
252	'''Caboose:''' [[BluntYes Yes.]] It was next to the broken window by the men's restroom.\
253	'''Vic:''' [[{{Beat}} ...]][[RefugeInAudacity I am not even mad, color me impressed!]]
254	* The squeak noise every time cartoon Caboose falls down. [[MoodWhiplash Well, except that time]] [[TearJerker when he gets depressed after seeing Epsilon die...]]
255
256	[[AC: Episode 16: Head Cannon]]
257	* Takes us back to the first part of Episode 100, when Omega was bouncing from mind to mind. This time, we get to see what was going on in those minds.
258	* Omega's utter disappointment in discovering he hadn't found Tex, partly set off by the bust of Simmons on a pedestal, then meeting Head!Simmons, who refers to the place as [[GratuitousFrench "Chez Simon"]].
259	-->'''Omega:''' I'm leaving.
260	-->'''Simmons:''' What?! B-but, you just got here!
261	-->'''Omega:''' If you attempt to keep me here against my will, I will remove your eyeballs and replace them with ping pong balls with similar eyes drawn on them!
262	* Simmons' head!Sarge saying that Simmons is really his biological son.
263	-->'''Omega:''' And here I thought the blue one was delusional.
264	* Omega is completely relieved when an opening to escape presents itself.
265	-->'''Omega:''' Oh thank god, an exit.
266	* When he ends up back in Caboose's mind, all the mental images in his mind are babbling at Omega, and run off wildly when Tex joins him.
267	-->'''Omega:''' Ooooh!! [[EvilLaugh Hahahahahaha!]] It appears you're ''finally'' ready to play our little game. Very well. Let's talk, Tex. [[TemptingFate Assuming of course no one will barge in here to force me out of this-]] ''(Appears in the next mindscape, groaning)'' ...I can’t help but feel I set myself up for that one.
268	* Head!Donut in all his flamboyant glory. He sparkles.
269	-->'''Donut:''' Well hey there, Omega, welcome to my Lightish-Red Head!\
270	'''Omega:''' Do not... '''EVER...''' '''Call it that again...!'''\
271	'''Donut:''' You got it buddy. The cool kids all call it The [[AccidentalInnuendo Donut Hole]] anyway.\
272	'''Omega:''' Then my first order of business will be murdering the cool kids.
273	* Sarge's mind is a war zone, as he fights the blues, a rampaging AI, and 'senility keeps trying to overtake the hippocampus'. When Omega sees a cluster of yammering Grifs, he asks what that is about, and Sarge answers 'stress relief' before shooting them with a rocket launcher. Omega approves.
274	-->'''Dirty Blue No. 3 (Caboose):''' Alas, I have tripped![[note]]Made funnier in that this was a ThrowItIn. During the machinimation of the scene, 'Caboose' did fall over, and they thought it was funny enough to go get Joel to record the line to go with it.[[/note]]
275	* By the time he reaches Grif's mind, he's getting 'rather tired of this', but is utterly surprised by how simple Grif's headspace is. Then a Head!Simmons taunts Grif, who runs off chasing him.
276	* When he arrives in Church's mind, he starts ranting about how he can't take it anymore, only to start relaxing, and then sees Alpha descending like an angel. When he threatens to take over, Alpha pretty much says go for it, he's exhausted from the stress anyway. Omega feels right at home, which of course is when he is ejected again.
277	-->'''[[EvilIsHammy Omega:]]''' [[BigYes Yes, yes!]] [[EvilLaugh Hehehehe!]] This is it! Finally! I’ve never felt at home. I’ve never felt more alive! This is it! This is the beginning of the end for all! [[TemptingFate Nothing can stop us now!]] [[LargeHam JUST NOTHING CAN STOP US-]] ''(Cut to Blood Gulch, where Tex hits Church, ejecting Omega)'' [[PrecisionFStrike Aw, Fuck.]]
278
279	[[AC: Episode 17: Get Bent]]
280	* During Epsilon's time stuck in the memory unit, he mis-remembers the gender of the Reds as being female. HilarityEnsues.
281	--> '''Epsilon:''' And ''what'' chicks are we going to pick up exactly?\
282	'''Tucker:''' What are you, the rookie? [[WhamLine We've got a whole base full of them right here in the canyon!]]\
283	'''Epsilon:''' Yeah but tha- [[DoubleTake I'm sorry, what?]]\
284	'''Caboose:''' Hey! I just wanted to let you know, the general stopped by and took the flag! Also, I think she likes me!\
285	'''Episilon''': WHAT?!?\
286	'''Tucker''': Yeah, whatever moron!
287	* Epsilon slips up and accidentally calls the tank Sheila in front of Tucker at a time before she was officially given the name.
288	--> '''Tucker:''' You named the tank ''Sheila''.\
289	'''Epsilon:''' I - uh, I - you know... Y-yeah. I mean... She just kinda looks like a Sheila to me, y'know. So, what were you saying?
290	* Epsilon examines Blood Gulch to see what he mis-remembered. His reaction is priceless.
291	-->'''Epsilon:''' The only thing I could have possibly gotten wrong is...\
292	'''Female!Sarge:''' Freeze, dirtbag!\
293	'''Epsilon:''' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Well,]] ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck shit.]]'' (turns to look at Female!Sarge) Oh, dear God in Heaven, ''no.''
294	* Epsilon's outrage at finding out that, all this time, all they had to do was ASK Command for supplies.
295	%%* While discussing their renovations to Red Base, Female!Sarge and Female!Simmons briefly discuss the new showerhead.
296	* Like in canon, Female!Donut managed to get the Blues' flag. In this memory, she put the flag in the Red's dining room, causing Female!Simmons to berate her for the clash in colors.
297	** What adds to this is that [[FridgeBrilliance this is something]] ''[[FridgeBrilliance else]]'' Epsilon misremembered: ignoring the gender swap, Epsilon gave Donut the ''opposite'' personality.
298	*** And Epsilon's reaction to this Donut's DoubleEntendre.
299	--->'''Female!Donut:''' If it were up to me, I'd get down on my hands and knees and [[ButchLesbian I'd tear up all the carpet in this base.]] ''({{Beat}})'' What's with the blue guy?\
300	'''Epsilon:''' I'm just... I... I know what I should have expected from you, I was just not ready for it.
301	* After Church is captured by the Female!Reds, Tucker comes into the Red Base, with Caboose in tow, solely so he can flirt with the Reds, much to Church's dismay as he saw it as a botched rescue attempt only to realize it wasn't even that. His attempts to hit on Female!Grif end [[GroinAttack about as well as you'd expect.]]
302	-->'''Tucker:''' Hey baby, I've never been with a plus-size girl before, and I bet you've never hooked up in an armored military tank. How about we scratch a few things off our buck- ''(Female!Grif shoots Tucker)'' [[OwMyBodyPart OW! My lap!]]\
303	'''Female!Grif:''' "Plus-size", my fat ass! ''({{Beat}})'' Oh, right...\
304	'''Tucker:''' Bow chicka ow owww...
305	* The reveal of [[spoiler: Male!Tex]] towards the end.
306	-->'''Epsilon:''' Uh... Let me think about this for a second... ''({{Beat}})'' [[IfItsYouItsOkay Yeah]], I'm cool with it, but I'm out.
307	* At the end, after resetting reality again, Epsilon makes [[HereWeGoAgain another mistake...]]
308	--> '''Tucker:''' I was saying, how about you and me go for a ride in this tank? I can show you the cannon.\
309	'''[[spoiler:Epsilon/Female!Epsilon]]:''' Tucker, what the fuck is wrong with... What the fuck is wrong with...\
310	''[[spoiler:Camera pans back, revealing that Epsilon accidentally misremembered [[EpicFail himself]] as female.]]''\
311	'''[[spoiler:Female!Epsilon]]:''' Oh, COME ON!
312
313	[[AC: Episode 18: Red vs. Blue: The Musical]]
314	* In his beginning narration, Vic mentions that Agent Florida downloaded his entire music archive into Vic's hard drive. All ''5000 songs.'' Apparently, Florida [[ActorAllusion was]] into Music/BarenakedLadies. Who'da thunkit?
315	* Sarge and the Reds singing about naming their new rocket launchers and killing the Blues.
316	* Sarge is easily one of the most enthusiastic to be in this episode.
317	--> ''Jazz hands!''
318	* Donut tries to give his suggestion.
319	--> '''Grif:''' What? You got any better ideas?\
320	'''Donut:''' I do!\
321	'''Everybody:''' No one cares!
322	* Church's song about how much he hates his life, and everyone else.
323	* The picture of Tex that Church has is a DartboardOfHate that reads "Stop Calling Me -XOXO Tex"
324	* None of the others are impressed with Church's complaints.
325	-->'''Tucker:''' Oh please. You're overly dramatic.\
326	'''Doc:''' You're clearly asymptomatic.\
327	'''Sheila:''' Your life is hardly that traumatic.\
328	'''Caboose:''' But [[CallBack your girlfriend is half-aquatic]].
329	* Church listing of the things wrong in his life.
330	--> '''Church:''' I have been to jury duty 37 times! I always get the middle seat on flights! Last year nobody wished me a happy birthday! Fuck all of you! Fuck everyone! And fuck this fucking song!
331	** Even better, at the end of the episode, Epsilon comments on how accurate this is!
332	* Church decides to let the Reds attack him with their Rocket launchers. The Reds pull their triggers, only to learn that command didn't give them any spare ammo. Or, alternatively, they wasted all of it during the musical number.
333	-->'''Donut:''' Uh, Sarge...?\
334	'''Sarge:''' ''(Irritated)'' Yes, Private Donut?\
335	'''Donut:''' Do these rocket launchers feel a little ''light'' to you...?\
336	'''Sarge:''' ...Well I just assumed it was because I'm in peak physical condition.\
337	'''Grif:''' Oh god. [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe You've got to be fucking kidding me.]]\
338	'''Tucker:''' Holy shit. [[RunningGag They don't have any ammo!]]\
339	'''Church:''' God damn it...\
340	'''Simmons:''' Why would command send us rocket launchers with no rockets?!\
341	'''Grif:''' '''WHO IS RUNNING THIS ARMY!?'''
342	* Donut encouraging both teams to dance.
343	--> '''Grif:''' Uh, what is happening right now?\
344	'''Church:''' I don't know. I just know that I hate it.
345	* Church is absolutely flabbergasted by the two teams and the tank starting to dance in front of him.
346	--> '''Church:''' ...What the fuck is happening right now...?
347	* The reveal that the entire episode is Donut's version of the Blood Gulch Chronicles that he is telling everyone on Chorus.
348	-->'''Simmons:''' Donut, none of that shit ever happened!\
349	'''Donut:''' Well, maybe not in '''your''' version. I decided to spice things up! Add a little pizzazz. [[SelfDeprecation The original version was so boring: all we ever did was stand around and talk!]]\
350	'''Doyle:''' ''(Clears throat)'' Um, yes. Did you actually have song and dance numbers or...?\
351	'''Donut:''' Ugh. Let's take it from the top.\
352	'''Everybody:''' '''[[BigNo NO!]]'''
353
354	[[AC: Episode 19: Mr. Red vs. Mr. Blue]]
355	* The movie night poster.
356	-->''Night... the time of day when the sun goes down and so does Donut.''
357	* The only movie in Blood Gulch is ''Film/ReservoirDogs'', so the gang's weekly movie night is only ever enjoyed by Tucker. And then Caboose destroys the movie, leaving Tucker in funk, so Church decides to remake it with the Blood Gulch Crew. The Reds only join in due to boredom.
358	* And how does Caboose destroy the movie? He tries to play a VHS in a film reel projector, which Church allows because by that point he and everyone else is sick of the movie.
359	-->'''Caboose''': [-Uh oh...-] [[BadLiar Uhhh-uhhh, it broke, that is weird, I don't know how it- that would happen...]]
360	* When assigning characters, Donut [[ObligatoryJoke got Mr. Pink]], and [[IronyAsSheIsCast Church gave himself]] [[DramaticIrony Mr. White]].
361	* [[LovableSexManiac Sister]]'s rant about sexist movie remakes.
362	-->'''Sister:''' Why the fuck am I not Mr. Blonde?!\
363	'''Grif:''' Because you're a girl, and also you're not blonde.\
364	'''Sister:''' Not on my head.\
365	'''Grif:''' That doesn't eve-- Wait, what?\
366	'''Church:''' Sister, there's no girls in ''Reservoir Dogs'', go back to base.\
367	'''Sister:''' Uh, what about the [[Film/Ghostbusters2016 all female remake]] they made? You know, [[TakeThat the terrible one]]?\
368	'''Church:''' ''Reservoir Bitches''? It was terrible!\
369	'''Sister:''' FINE! ENJOY BEING SEXIST! I'll go make my ''own'' movie, and it will '''only''' have girls! THEN, we'll see who's sexist!\
370	'''Simmons:''' And where're you gonna get girls to make an impromptu movie?\
371	'''Sister:''' I've done it before, and they didn't even care about the nudity, because [[PunctuatedForEmphasis WOMEN! ARE! PROFESSIONALS!]]\
372	'''Grif:''' Please do not tell anyone else the things you just said!\
373	'''Sister:''' I HAAAATE YOOOOUUU! [[ParentalSubstitute YOU'RE JUST LIKE MOM AND DAD!]]
374	* ''Resvoir''... ''Resivouir''... ''Water Pond Dogs'' turns out to be a glorious example of BadBadActing. Church at least is trying, while Grif puts as much effort into the production as he does anything else:
375	-->'''Grif:''' [[DullSurprise Ugh. I am shot.]]\
376	'''Church:''' Hey! Cut that shit right now. You're hurt. You're hurt real fuckin' bad. But you ain't dying. (''breaks character'') Okay, trust me, [[ContinuityNod I know what that feels like.]]\
377	'''Grif:''' Aaaah. That heist. It went so bad. And now, I have been shot. I am going to die. I know it.\
378	'''Church:''' That heist went bad. But you're not gonna die! I'm... uh, line?\
379	'''Simmons:''' (offscreen)"I'm going to get you help."\
380	'''Church:''' Right, I'm gonna get you help!\
381	'''Grif:''' ''[[RunningGag Hurk]]''-\
382	'''Church:''' [[HowDareYouDieOnMe No, don't you "hurk-bleh" on me! You hold on!]]
383	* This exchange:
384	-->'''Simmons:''' Who the fuck gave [[LethallyStupid him]] actual gasoline?!\
385	'''Caboose:''' ''I'm'' a [[HiddenDepths a method actor]].\
386	'''Sister:''' VAGINA POWER! DOWN WITH THE MEN! SUCK MY LADYDICK! [[ThatCameOutWrong END WOMEN'S SUFFRAGE!]] [[TheDitz WE'VE SUFFERED LONG ENOUGH!]]
387
388	[[AC: Episode 20: [=RvB=] Throwdown]]
389	* Sarge vs Church [[spoiler: Rap Battle, with a special appearance by Felix and Locus]].
390	* The episode opens with Vic contemplating the long running question of Red VS Blue... which isn't "Do you ever wonder why we're here?", [[OverusedRunningGag because they've run that into the ground]].
391	* Canonicity be damned, the sheer fact that [[spoiler: [[NoNonsenseNemesis Locus]] would ''ever'' participate in a rap battle.]]
392
393	[[AC: Episode 21: The Triplets]]
394	* Ohio losing it at the "5 questions game" in the beginning.
395	-->'''Ohio''': I do not ''love'' that game. ''(mumbles)'' I just play it when I'm bored.\
396	'''Idaho''': Which is all the time.\
397	'''Ohio''': Because we never get mission assignments!
398	* Pretty much anything Iowa does:
399	-->'''Iowa''': Yeah Ohio, we're totally coo--[[SuddenlyShouting SPIDER]]!\
400	''(Shooting at the ground)''\
401	'''Iowa''': ''({{Beat}})'' I got em.
402	* Iowa's truly amazing track record of busted Mongooses ("Mongeese?"). He managed to destroy 12 in one training session. Seven by just ''sneezing'' next to them. ''Through his helmet''.
403	-->'''Iowa''': I-I'm not a very strong driver.
404	* The Five Questions Game which includes but is not limited to ''Dungeons and Dragons: Five Things You Don't Wanna Make Saving Throws Against'' and ''Five Meats That You Think Wouldn't Be Delicious But Are Totally Delicious''.
405	* This Five Questions Game conversation, mostly the end since it doubles as a TearJerker:
406	-->'''Iowa''': Five Things You'd Rather Be Doing. Go.\
407	'''Ohio''': Anything.\
408	'''Iowa and Idaho''': One.\
409	'''Ohio''': Something else.\
410	'''Both''': Two.\
411	'''Ohio''': Not this?\
412	'''Both''': Three...\
413	'''Ohio''': Contemplating the futility of existence in a coffee shop.\
414	'''Both''': Four?\
415	'''Idaho''': Seems like your heart's not really in this, Oh.\
416	'''Ohio''': YourMom!\
417	'''Iowa''': Oooh snap, that's our girl!
418
419	[[AC: Episode 22: The "Mission"]]
420	* In order to see if there was really a base there, Iowa took off his helmet and ''licked it''. A metal base. On a frozen planet. and yes, his tongue got stuck and took him some time to warm it free. Also, according to him, the base tasted like a White Russian cocktail. (Turns out, the base has a lot of booze stockpiled, so it likely ''was'' the actual drink he was tasting.)
421	* The simple fact of the matter that the [[InsistentTerminology ex-Charon Industries]] soliders are [[Series/{{Newhart}} Sherry, her partner Darryl and her other partner Terrill]].
422	* Sherry chastising her comrades.
423	-->'''Sherry:''' You realize this is why they dumped us here, right? You're incompetent. ''He's'' incompetent. Talking to you makes ''me'' incompetent. Killing us and touching our dead bodies would have only made ''them'' incompetent.
424	* Sherry's snark in general:
425	-->'''Darryl:''' We're from Charon Industries, and we're waiting to find out what we're here for.\
426	'''Sherry:''' Ex-Charon Industries! We're not really waiting for anything though, except maybe like, a quick, merciful death.\
427	\
428	'''Sherry:''' We don't exactly have a chain of command anymore. I'm mostly in charge though, because I'm not a complete fucking waste of brain cells.\
429	\
430	'''Sherry:''' Lemme guess. You guys got dumped here.\
431	'''Ohio:''' Wha–I... How did you know?\
432	'''Sherry:''' Body language! That and there's no reason to come here. For anyone, like ever.\
433	\
434	'''Sherry:''' The long and short of it is, we're fuck-ups. Like you! We're all stranded here, we'll all die here, and we'll all be forgotten.
435	* Terrill offers to go make drinks to celebrate the Freelancers' arrivals. As they sneak through the base, Ohio checks to see if they've been spotted, but just sees Terrill making cocktails. Iowa wonders if they can make a whiskey on the rocks. Then, as his friends are having a team moment and preparing to meet the Charon soldiers, he loudly asks the Charons from offscreen if they can make a whiskey on the rocks. Iowa and Ohio hang their heads in shame.
436	* Sherry's readings of the triplets, including her assessment of [[StraightGay Ohio]] ("Come on girl, it is ''obvious.''"), Idaho's former feelings for his friend ('''Ohio:''' "You used to ''what'' me?" '''Idaho:''' ''[nervous laughter]'' "Yeah, hey! Let's just... move past this!") and Iowa's brain damage ("But he has the most upbeat attitude, so net-net, I guess.")
437	* Iowa shoots Darryl in the leg trying to kill an "ice spider".
438	* Ohio and Sherry's mutual resignation at their teams' antics. They don't even bother moving from their spots as bullets fly past them.
439	-->'''Sherry:''' This happen often?\
440	'''Ohio:''' Yeah. But not as often as-- ''[Rocket flies past]'' Never mind.
441	* In order to give both their groups an actual purpose, Ohio does [[BlatantLies the sane thing]] and shoots Sherry in the leg.
442	* C.T. and South teasing Wash at the end with "Five Things No One Tells Wash".
443
444	[[AC: Episode 23: Immersion: The Warthog Flip]]
445	* For starters, ''why'' are we getting an WebVideo/{{Immersion}} episode? [[PottyEmergency Vic had to go pee.]] And has been holding it in since the second episode of the season.
446	-->'''Vic''': [[MST3KMantra Now, don't ask how a computer program takes a leak...]] Just watch these guys mess around with some science stuff... while I'm gone...
447	* The live-action wraparound segment: Grif is [[DrivesLikeCrazy driving]] himself, Simmons, Sarge, and Lopez (reduced, once again, to a head) back to (a currently without power) Red Base [[spoiler:in order to save their [[SeriousBusiness rocky road]] ice cream from completely melting]].
448	* After everything is said and done, Grif bemoans that [[spoiler:their ice cream by that point is now ice cream soup]]... [[NotSoDire which he realizes isn't that bad after saying it out loud]].
449	* Lopez, just before the Warthog crashes:
450	-->'''Lopez''': La peor parte es que me van a hacer a mí arreglar el coche. [The worst part is... they're going to make me fix the car.]
451	* Where's Donut? Off getting parts to fix the Warthog's power steering.
452	-->'''Lopez''': ¿Quieres decir el Warthog que estamos conduciendo ahora? ([[FailedASpotCheck You mean the Warthog we're driving now?]])
453	* Sarge initially thinks Grif is driving the Warthog so fast is because [[Film/{{Speed}} of a bomb in it]][[note]]Lopez is the only one to point out the allusion.[[/note]]. The episode ends with him saying that [[BreakingTheFourthWall the only thing that can make the episode better]] [[SelfDeprecation is a shoe-horned in explosion]]. [[StuffBlowingUp Connect the dots.]]
454	* When Simmons is wondering how to shoehorn an explosion in, Sarge suggests using the bomb in the Warthog. Just as Lopez (sitting in the Warthog's seat) is angrily asserting that there is no bomb, cue the mushroom cloud.
455	-->'''Simmons:''' ...huh. Guess there really was a bomb.\
456	'''Sarge:''' Told ya.
457	* The host for the experiment is Burnie. The lab rat? Miles Luna. As such, enjoy the mental image of Church torturing Felix for an entire episode.
458	* Burnie has Miles try and flip over the Warthog himself using his own personal strength. [[ForegoneConclusion It doesn't go over perfectly.]]
459	-->'''Miles''': ''(straight up charges into the Warthog; recoils in pain)'' GOD ''DAMMIT''!
460
461	[[AC: Episode 24: Red vs. Blue vs. Rooster Teeth]]
462	* The Reds and Caboose end up in Rooster Teeth headquarters. HilarityEnsues.
463	* Burnie's "hot shit" rant and the reactions to it. It must be heard for the full effect:
464	--> '''Burnie:''' Well, I guess you think you're pretty hot shit, huh? Well guess what?! WE are the hottest shit that there is! In fact, WE'RE so hot, we're like... a giant bag of shit that's lit on fire, and then, you put it on your neighbor's doorstep, ring the doorbell, and run away in the middle of the night! And then your neighbor comes out in his robe and his slippers, and he's like: "What's this?! Oh, it's a huge burning bag on my doorstep! I better put that out!" So he starts stomping on it! He's stomping on the fire! But guess what?! He's not stomping on fire! He's [[PunctuatedForEmphasis stomping! On! SHIT!]] And that hot shit that's on the bottom of his slipper?! '''''THAT'S US'''''!\
465	''(beat)''\
466	'''Josh''': ...That's a really fucking weird metaphor.\
467	'''Burnie''': [[NoYou You're a fucking weird metaphor]]!
468	* Burnie and Geoff's idea to get back at Miles and the Machinima crew? [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-H1xYeUZkw The Machinima Death Switch.]]
469	-->'''Burnie:''' What we need... is... ''(Pan over to the Death Switch)'' ...A simple solution!\
470	''Burnie starts [[EvilLaugh laughing]], Geoff awkwardly joins in. Laughter dies down.''\
471	'''Geoff:''' Like the Nazis!\
472	'''Burnie:''' Wha-?! No, that's - Geoff, that's the FinalSolution, [[MundaneSolution I-I'm gonna cut the power.]]\
473	'''Geoff:''' Ohh!\
474	'''Burnie:''' Yeah, why Nazis? [[DudeNotFunny That was kinda weird]].
475	* It's implied that Geoff is drunk off his ass the entire time.
476	* The Machinima crew's reaction to meeting the Blood Gulch Crew face-to-face? [[TheScream Scream at the top of their lungs and run like hell.]]
477	* Joel's reaction to seeing the motion capture equipment running on its own, showing Caboose dancing without someone acting out his movements.
478	-->'''Joel''': "That can't be good."
479	* Caboose's damn good "statue-like" pose, keeping '''completely still''' the '''entire time''' after Sarge told Caboose to "hold this position, while I flank them."
480	-->'''Caboose''': '''[[NobodyHerebutUsStatues "Holding position!"]]'''
481	* Joel espousing to Caboose the importance [[spoiler:[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dWk8SM0GLs of buying gold]]]].
482	-->'''Caboose''': ''(after Joel leaves)'' And that is the smartest person I have ever met.
483	* Simmons' first impression of his real life counterpart

Context Funny / RedVsBlueSeason14