Line #11 Funny/Mercenaries


1	[[folder:Playground of Destruction]]
2	* Sergei can't seem to get the Jack of Clubs' name right.
3	-->'''Sergei''': Josef says he knows where Heong...Hong-i...Heong-gu...ah, damn it! \
4	'''Josef''': Hong-do Seon-u. \
5	'''Sergei''': Right! That guy! We know where he is.
6	* Mattias on childcare:
7	--> '''Mattias''': What the ''hell'' is babysitting?
8	* Mattias (seeing a pattern here?) when you manage to make a big enough explosion:
9	--> '''Mattias'''[[note]]''With the tone of voice someone would typically use in reaction to a bottle rocket going off''[[/note]]: [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight That was cool]].
10	* The Mercs [[AddressingThePlayer chiding you]] when you ''insist'' in firing their weapon when its out of ammo:
11	--> '''Mattias''': What am I supposed to use...[[HarshWordImpact harsh language?]]
12	--> '''Jennifer''': Hey. [[ShoeSlap I can throw my shoe]] at them if you like.
13	* Jennifer Mui on the topics of having a plan:
14	--> '''Jennifer''': Plans are for mad scientists and bridge builders. [[IndyPloy I've got moxie.]] [[MoreDakka And guns.]]
15	[[/folder]]
16	[[folder:World in Flames]]
17	* [[PressXToNotDie Mattias can hijack tanks and vehicles quickly and with little fuss.]] ''He knows this.''
18	-->'''Mattias'''[[note]](in much the same tone of voice a small boy would talk about a particularly exciting Christmas present)[[/note]]: They sent me a ''tank?!''
19	-->'''Mattias'''[[note]](when driving a flaming vehicle that [[EveryCarIsAPinto is about to blow up from under him)]][[/note]]: Time to bail out, and steal another one.
20	-->'''Mattias'''[[note]]Upon seeing an APC.[[/note]]: I love APC's! So ''crunchy!''
21	* Of course, Jennifer gets a few funny quotes in as well.
22	-->'''Jennifer'''[[note]]Upon seeing an APC filled with soldiers[[/note]]: Oh look, the bad guys have an RV.
23	* Stealing Fiona's car really irritates her.
24	-->'''Fiona''': That's ''mine'', not yours! Remember the difference!\
25	''(alternatively)''\
26	'''Fiona''': Don't take my car, '''don't take my'''--ugh, never mind.
27	* You get this gem in ''Mercenaries 2'' when you hijack a friendly or civilian car as Mattias:
28	-->'''Mattias:''' This is an emergency! A ''Viking'' emergency!
29	* When the player first meets [[TheAlcoholic Misha]], he explains why he's hiding out with the Jamaican pirates.
30	-->"Was not my fault. Was lieutenant. Gives wrong coordinates. I drop bomb in right place, but is ''wrong'' place. He tries to blame me. [[DeskJockey Guys with big hats]] come. But I show them, show them wrong coordinates. Big hats get mad at lieutenant, he gets mad at ''me.'' Now I'm stuck here."
31	* Misha extolling the virtues of the [[StuffBlowingUp MOAB]].
32	-->'''Misha''': Do you have MOAB yet? Misha love to drop near ex-wife's house. When explode, looks like a nuke went off and [[MassOhCrap scary the hell out of everyone within 1,000 kilometers.]] Use, if [[AxCrazy you have much hate inside.]]
33	** Really, pretty much everything that comes out of Misha's mouth is one of these.
34	* The cutscene with all three mercs together is pretty funny as well: it's funny enough when Chris (or Jennifer if Chris is selected) exclaims the selected merc can't sit down because they got ShotInTheAss. But each merc has a unique line when snarking back:
35	--> '''Fiona:''' "(Player Merc), sit down."
36	--> '''Chris/Jennifer:''' "They can't. They got shot in the ass!"
37	--> '''Mattias:''' "'''[[InsistentTerminology Upper thigh]].'''"
38	--> '''Chris:''' "[[FemaleGaze You checkin' out my ass?]] [[AllMenArePerverts There's hope for you yet...]]"
39	--> '''Jennifer:''' "''[[AllMenArePerverts Trust you to be]] [[MaleGaze looking at my ass.]]''"
40	* The mission to recover a deadly, amazing weapons system for the UP mercenaries known as "The Devastator." You drive to the location, and there's this big, scary tank there... that isn't the objective and you can't use it. [[spoiler: "The Devastator" is actually a little pink moped with a flower basket and silver skulls on the front, which is ''behind'' the tank. You then have to drive it through a crowded city, and the UP mercenaries will make fun of you when you get it to them. It's just them hazing the Mercenary before letting them see their boss]].
41	** And just as a potential player-created BrickJoke, [[spoiler: you can choose to bomb the hell out of UP H.Q. in a Chinese mission]]. One can pretend it was for progressing in the story, but it [[DisproportionateRetribution comes across as comical revenge]].
42	* In one mission, you have to escort a UP executive while he's burning documents. If he gets killed, his has this wonderful line:
43	-->'''UP Exec''': I've been shot! I'm dying! [[BloodlessCarnage Not...bleeding, though...]][[BreakingTheFourthWall stupid T rating....]]
44	* Putting Mattias in the Chicken outfit and... well, doing anything, really.
45	* Mattias finding a Stinger when faced with incoming hostile helicopters.
46	--> '''Mattias''': I haven't been this happy since I was nine, and got my first box of Ettans [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snus snus!]]
47	* Mattias' confusion about babysitting returns. Made ever better by his tone of voice making him sound ''genuinely concerned that people do this.''
48	--> '''Mattias''': ...why would someone sit on a ''baby''?
49	* After recruiting Eva Navarro, her room has her working on a ''massive'' engine (as in the engine block itself is bigger than a sedan), One of her random quotes mentions what it is.
50	-->'''Eva:''' This baby can go 0-100 in under 2 seconds... Unfortunately it gets [[HummerDinger 200 gallons to the mile]].
51	[[/folder]]

Context Funny / Mercenaries