| 1 | * When he explains how the Star Wars prequels were made: |
| 2 | -->''Star Wars used to be one of the most beloved franchises of all of entertainment, but that all changed when the twisted mind of George Lucas was left unsupervised and unchecked by a medical professional. He was able to army crawl himself away from Arkham Asylum and onto a chair in front of a pen and paper and write the prequels.'' |
| 3 | * His video on [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgQfz2a0JfQ Invisible Art]] features him reading from the manifesto of the Museum of Invisible Art. Halfway through reading the second section, he audibly struggles not to burst into laughter at how absolutely ridiculous and pretentious the 'poetry' is. |
| 4 | * Launches a [[ItMakesSenseInContext driveable outhouse]] in the air in ''Need For Speed II'': "Just making sure the moon has a quality shitter." |
| 5 | ** The entirety of the video is just him driving the secret cheat code cars and generally trying to wreck the other racers. It doesn't exactly work, but it's hilarious. |
| 6 | ** "I'm not racing as just any old outhouse. I am ''Turbo Shitter!''" |
| 7 | ** "Too much speed, we're flying!" ''(proceeds to fly off the map)'' "Turbo Shitter! [[BigNo Nooooo!]]" |
| 8 | ** His first line after the opening: "My race car this afternoon is just a standard dinosaur. Should be a tooth and nail battle for first place." |
| 9 | * Hears a baby cry in ''Shutter'': "Somebody get that baby a stock portfolio." |
| 10 | * During a ''Cry of Fear'' video, he reaches the first {{jump scare}} that makes other players jump or shout in fright. His response? "Excuse me sir, you're interfering with my photography, please move over." |
| 11 | * Most people would immediately shriek or freak out at the sight of the Slender Man from ''Slender''. What he did upon seeing him for the first time? He tried to arrest him for trespassing. |
| 12 | ** He called Slender Man a "sack of juiced nipples" and "Spaghetti Arms." |
| 13 | ** Trying to evade Slender Man by running in a zigzag the way you do with alligators. |
| 14 | ** Similarly in ''VideoGame/SCPContainmentBreach'', he tried to arm wrestle SCP-173 only to accidentally walk past its field of vision and got his neck snapped. Later [[TooDumbToLive he tried to fight it for real]] only to get his ass handed to him again. |
| 15 | * Watching the intro cutscene to ''VideoGame/{{Pepsiman}}'' and not understanding the dialogue: "And since I can't understand what he's telling me, I may as well be talking to a cow's udder." |
| 16 | ** "Parkour!" ''(gets hit by a car)'' "Aw, shit." |
| 17 | ** And then he gets hit again: "It is Pepsiman's anger that will drive him to succeed - Fuck you, car." |
| 18 | ** When he completes the first level, he tries to guess the plot of the game: "So using what I know about Isaac Newton, and cross-referencing that information with the mathematical formulas constructed by Euclid, I can accurately deduce that Pepsiman is hand-delivering these large quantities of Pepsi over to a tribal group of aliens. The plot thickens." |
| 19 | *** He keeps going after the second level: "He just shot a shit waterfall at the crowd, and they're cheering for him. ...Wait a minute, that just opened up new plot elements... [[EurekaMoment That's it!]] The shit waterfall is a symbol for anal cavity! That-that's it right there! Pepsiman is delivering the Pepsi, to the rectums of the aliens! Shit, that truck just hit him, the government is trying to assassinate him for what he's trying to do! So Pepsiman is now being framed for high treason when all he's trying to do is quench the thirst of the aliens' dehydrated assholes. Such a noble act of heroism, I, for one, will not stand by and let shit depart from my ass cheeks while Pepsiman needs our help - ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis I, have, been, flattened.]]''" |
| 20 | ** The RunningGag with the woman crossing the street. |
| 21 | -->''"Bitch, please, you had to know the wiener warrior known as Pepsiman was coming through! Stay on the sidewalk until you're ready for the big leagues."'' |
| 22 | ** "It's really quite peculiar: Pepsiman in essence is Pepsi, but he's being hunted by Pepsi - ''(giant can crushes him)'' - and I'm getting my ass kicked by Pepsi." |
| 23 | * He's well known for being fearless, but the only thing that's scared him is catching a leaf out of his peripheral vision. That he thought was a [[Franchise/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles Ninja Turtle]]. See it [[http://youtu.be/W1PDaA_iX0w?t=37s here]]. |
| 24 | * In his playthrough of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R52b92j9VGM The Theater]], what was his reaction to meeting the Swirly Faced Man in all his screechy wonder? |
| 25 | -->"[[ComicallyMissingThePoint Alright, fine, you win, I'll enjoy the movie! Just go fuck yourself and take your spaghetti-face with you!]]" |
| 26 | * His pitching techniques in ''98 Koshien''. [[http://youtu.be/gbYYJF0c4VA?t=3m5s It's way too funny to give away]]. |
| 27 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=1SjU9_q-Wwo&NR=1 Super Mario Br0s 3]]. |
| 28 | -->''"This is making me wanna purchase a pair of bowling shoes and then cut my feet off so I can't use the shoes properly."'' |
| 29 | ** Just everything he says about the [[WhenTreesAttack trees]]. |
| 30 | * Try watching [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYAwcT0tJx4 his]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVu496LdCko dubs]] of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcWJcbMLSWo Anthony]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDmcL3LBEo4 Sullivan's]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USkHZ5zfcgs infomercials]] with a straight face. |
| 31 | ** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8GFul9JNjI The Real Anthony Sullivan on TV]]. |
| 32 | ** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cmn9JZ1_RPA The Real EZ Cracker]]. |
| 33 | ** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZjGb18kd7g The Real Hog Wash]]. Oink, oink, you son of a bitch. |
| 34 | ** And now, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hQVoRutzi8 The Real Green Gobbler.]] Don't just go green, ''gobble green,'' bitch! |
| 35 | * In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIlfNYCSlS4 The Shit Mystery]], he gives a scientific explanation of how defecation works, with lots of technical terms... while his attempt at 3D animation plays in the background. It looks like it was made in 5 minutes in Blender. |
| 36 | * In his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DwsMNKZ2WY Zoo Tycoon video]], he made this [[FunWithAcronyms acronym]] as a helicopter took one of his gazelles away: "November. India. Papa. Papa. Lima. Echo. Sierra." |
| 37 | ** He changed the name of his zoo from "Grasslands Zoo" to "Fisting Festival" in order to makes customers feel welcome. |
| 38 | ** He keeps ignoring (or maybe not even noticing) the alerts telling him that the peafowls are drowning or that animals are starving. |
| 39 | ** "Nothing says quality zookeeping like a good old-fashioned peafowl mauling." |
| 40 | ** He put the zoo's bathroom on top of a mountain surrounded by guardian tigers, and dumps a man in a pit of forty tigers [[DisproportionateRetribution because he disliked the zoo]]. His attempts to kill as many human patrons as possible (or at least make their visit very difficult) are pretty funny in general. |
| 41 | ** He zoomed into first person view, the result being absolute pandemonium. |
| 42 | ** "If this doesn't elicit piss from your nostrils, nothing will!" |
| 43 | * Saying that he has never been so happy when he beat ''[[VideoGame/TheOregonTrail Oregon Trail]]'', while still staying absolutely [[DeadpanSnarker deadpan]]. |
| 44 | ** His names for his party in all of the videos: |
| 45 | -->SHIT IS ON THE NIPPLE |
| 46 | -->The Full Power Of Titties |
| 47 | -->Cows Can Touch Ass Cheeks |
| 48 | -->When Shitting Tell Asshole [=ThankYou=] |
| 49 | -->Smell What The Rock Cooks |
| 50 | -->Nipple Titties The Final Frontier [[note]]the names of his party in ''Organ Trail'', a ZombieApocalypse spin-off[[/note]] |
| 51 | ** His gravestones' epitaphs: "HERE LIES SHIT" |
| 52 | ** Him not buying clothes for his party because he "wants everyone naked". |
| 53 | ** His reasons for buying bullets, including defense against hordes of zombies and games of Russian Roulette with the family. |
| 54 | ** His reaction to one of his party members drowning in a river less than 4 feet deep. |
| 55 | ** His wondering how a thief could have stolen ''[[ImpossibleThief nine oxen]]'' in the middle of the night. |
| 56 | ** The jobs he gives his oxen, including medical duty, street racing, fighting in UFOC (Ultimate Fighting Oxen Championships) matches, hoof-to-hoof combat, and even reviving dead party members. |
| 57 | ** The conclusion he jumped to after one of his party members (named Is) contracted measles and one of his oxen was injured in the span of one night. |
| 58 | *** ""Is has measles." I can't tell if that's a statement or if it's telling me my party member already has measles. "One of the oxen is injured." [[BestialityIsDepraved What the]] ''[[PrecisionFStrike fuck]]'' [[{{Squick}} happened last night?!]]" |
| 59 | ** One particular part in Organ Trail: |
| 60 | -->'''Text box''': Titties turned suddenly and bit Frontier! You had to kill Titties. |
| 61 | -->'''[=Cr1TiKaL=]''': ({{Beat}}) [[DarkestHour What has this world come to?]] I'm pretty sure Frontier was bit previously, [[ChronicBackstabbingDisorder so the zombies are turning on each other.]] |
| 62 | * During [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8rZ-DzSdR0 Oswald the Elephant]]: |
| 63 | -->"Just ''walk on the stilts''! ''Use'' the stilts! Be one with the stilts! You ''are'' the stilts! ''Feel'' the stilts! ''Have sex'' with the stilts, Oswald!" |
| 64 | * In his video of the original ''VideoGame/SurgeonSimulator2013'', Critikal uses the hammer to break open the ribcage and sends bones AND the lungs flying, causing him to cry out "Oh, what the fuck? Happy birthday!" |
| 65 | * Dear Lord, ''everything'' in his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aKC8xiUyDk Happy Wheels]] commentary. |
| 66 | -->"How was I supposed to know to keep my child alive? There should be a message in the beginning, 'Child is useful, do not murder!'" |
| 67 | * From his ''Miami Traffic 3'' commentary: |
| 68 | -->*[[https://youtu.be/g49u3C6ym5I?t=280 steals a car and drives away quickly]]*\ |
| 69 | "It looks like Christmas has come early, ladies and gentlemen!"\ |
| 70 | * crashes into a building and the car explodes*\ |
| 71 | "...[[PrecisionFStrike Fucking]] terrific." |
| 72 | * '''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31Jg4GaDojo Ski Jumping Pairs]]'''. The already hilarious gameplay footage that exemplifies the "Japan is Weird" stereotype mixed with Critikal's commentary creates comedy gold. |
| 73 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOtGLcsnD3Y His way of cooking a turkey.]] |
| 74 | * Pretty much [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iu04U-Yb2qs the entirety]] of his Winback play through, but the absolute [[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments crowning moment]] is when [=Cr1tikal=] says, "this game is exactly how I remember it" as the bad guy glitches out in the background. |
| 75 | ** [=Cr1tikal=] [[ItMakesSenseInContext shitting his own head out.]] |
| 76 | * While playing ''VideoGame/BabysitterBloodbath'', at 5:55, [=Cr1tikal=] ''[[OutOfCharacterMoment actually laughs]]'' when a guy tells him he's been drinking liquor and tipping cows. The comments section exploded, with everyone freaking out about [=Cr1tikal's=] laughter. |
| 77 | * The first line of his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maygjIePBoc Winnie Home Run Derby]] commentary: "What's up, everybody, it's Critikal. I'm playing Winnie Home Run Derby: Legend of the Fuck Owl." |
| 78 | ** His reaction to hitting a foul ball: "OHHH! Everyone's ''fucking!"'' |
| 79 | ** "Most owls can turn their heads 270 degrees in both directions. This owl can fuck itself in all directions." |
| 80 | ** "For what reason are you an owl? And why have you decided to take up baseball as a hobby? This owl needs some toilet paper, because it's a dirty asshole." |
| 81 | ** "This owl just doesn't have feathers, it's made out of asscheeks. It has asscheeks for feathers." |
| 82 | ** His reaction to finally defeating the owl: "YES! I'VE DONE IT! I'VE DEFEATED THE OWL! [[WesternAnimation/ILoveToSinga DO YOU STILL LIKE TO SINGA ABOUT THE MOONA AND THE JUNEA AND THE SPRINGA]] |
| 83 | ** Just the fact that he refers to playing against each character as fighting and defeating them is somehow hilarious. |
| 84 | ** And the fact that he's getting extremely immersed in what was meant to be a simple game for younger children. |
| 85 | * This line from his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7ynOZf1KaQ Super Monkey Ball]] commentary: "If I had six fingers on one hand right now I would slap the shit out of a gopher." |
| 86 | ** "I don't know how many bananas it is, it's probably enough to feed a family of marsupials for twenty-five years." |
| 87 | ** "Now that looks scary. Feels as though my dick is trying to burrow its way back into my body. But I'm not gonna let it, I'm going to restore my wiener's honor." |
| 88 | ** Critikal suspects that [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Scholl%27s Dr. Scholl]] trapped the monkeys in balls. |
| 89 | ** "You fucking ass-spanking, fruit-punch-drinking, guitar-playing, shit-eating piece of alligator jizz!" |
| 90 | ** "I am going to regurgitate all of my previous meals." |
| 91 | ** When Dr. Bad-boon's airship flies in in the cutscene: "Oh, speaking of a giant flying dildo, there's one right there!" |
| 92 | * One of his instructions in the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6HWGqqeZ1A Don't Shit Your Pants]] commentary is "gather energy for spirit bomb." |
| 93 | * His [[SoBadItsGood frigging terrible]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfgeyA6UTDk gameplay]] of ''VideoGame/TouhouFuujinrokuMountainOfFaith'' is absolutely hilarious. Taken into the fact he's never played Touhou yet decided to pick the ''Lunatic difficulty'' for his first time. |
| 94 | ** Also doubles as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome as he got pretty far without once pressing the shift key. |
| 95 | * In his ''Orion'' commentary, when a group of dinosaurs are attacking him, he says, "Oh, damn it, [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Team Rocket's]] taking it to me!" |
| 96 | ** He runs into a dinosaur with a vehicle and sends it ''sailing'' up into the sky. It's pretty clear he wasn't expecting that to happen. |
| 97 | --> "Oh. Wow. Welcome to the cosmos, dinosaur." |
| 98 | ** "You're going to sit there with socks on your feet and tell me I ran all this way to not even be able to stand on a simple appliance?" |
| 99 | * His commentary on the ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcEz9d3TbyI Dark]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=filH-2IOze8 Souls]]'' series. In the first one, he tells his story of how NintendoHard ''buying the actual game'' was. |
| 100 | * From his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAgRx2_0XVU Mr. President]] commentary, his "playing street hockey" with the murdered President's body. |
| 101 | ** "Oh...I guess I'm his new briefcase." |
| 102 | ** "Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement: That was not the President. ''I'm'' the President. TALLY HO!" ''(leaps into the crowd)'' |
| 103 | ** Whitney Houston's ''I Will Always Love You'' playing whenever the Secret Service character attempts a DivingSave. |
| 104 | * In his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEqhzMVWYtk Burger Making]] commentary, he makes every single order he's given absolutely wrong, and then gets offended when the customer is angry. "Tell me how delicious that burger is, Wally! ...You're an asshole, Wally." |
| 105 | ** "Miss Penny will be a little scared at first, but then she'll realize the burger just wants a hug, she'll give it a hug, and then the burger fingers her. It's the perfect plan." |
| 106 | ** His complete irrational hatred of Chuck. All of it. |
| 107 | ** How he attempts to seduce Miss Prudence with a burger. At first, he puts all of the right ingredients on her burger, and you think it'll be the first one he's done right in the whole video. But before he puts the bun on, he piles on an absolute mountain of "his semen" (mayo). |
| 108 | * In his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUoGpaOqbs8 IWBTG commentary]], his reaction when an apple flies up off a tree and kills him: "Why the fuck are the apples not bound by gravity? No apple falls from a tree going up! I'm sitting here abiding by the laws of gravity like an asshole, but these apples can defy it whenever they want to?" |
| 109 | ** When he gets to the third screen (which is full of spikes and clouds), he wonders if it's [[TheRuleOfFirstAdopters the future of pornography.]] |
| 110 | ** "You know something has gone awry when you're being hunted by apples." |
| 111 | ** "My arch-nemesis...We meet again and this time I have an erection! Whole different ball game. And I still got...eviscerated." |
| 112 | ** ''(makes it to the end of the fourth screen)'' Yes! Harvard professors deemed it impossible, but I did it! ''(gets crushed by spike plate)'' ...The day I beat this game is [[Film/TheDayTheEarthStoodStill1951 the day the Earth stands still.]]" |
| 113 | * He calls the nameless [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMkvIdItOdg&index=46 Pumpkin]] [[Film/BatmanBegins Ra's al Ghul]], Donald Trumpkin, and a sentient basketball. |
| 114 | * In the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47pL8x1mvRo Spiderman 2]] video, he interprets Aunt May's [[DullSurprise reaction]] to being kidnapped by Doc Ock's gang as a sign of her actually being part of the gang. |
| 115 | ** When he reaches Mysterio and sees that his costume has eyes on its chest: "I wasn't looking at your titties, Mysterio, your titties were looking at me!" |
| 116 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiixpIwToec Goat Simulator]], in its entirety. |
| 117 | ** "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, [[ItMakesSenseInContext let down your tongue,]] so that I may [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext climb up it and supply you with this dope dick."]] |
| 118 | ** Goat!Critikal runs for reelection as mayor and does a stage dive. |
| 119 | ** After falling off a tower: ''"Fuck'' me, shove a candy cane down my dickhole, damn it!" |
| 120 | ** "The second I reenter reality, I'm coming back to that fighting ring and I'm taking you to lunch!" |
| 121 | ** His reactions to being constantly flung up into the air. "No. No, no. Honey Nut Cheeri-No's!" |
| 122 | ** He predicts that our world will devolve into a dystopia in the future if we don't allow goats to participate in our sporting events. |
| 123 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnO2v9VA0ic Cr1tikal plays ]] ''Purin to Ofuro'' and, slight creepiness of the game aside, has a blast slapping a girl named Purin about while she slaps back. |
| 124 | ** "Holy shit, she is just delivering my pizza right now, fuck!" |
| 125 | ** *camera moves down to show the player character's headless shadow* "This is exactly what I thought I was when I entered the bathtub. A floating headless torso. Who else would you wanna be in the bathtub with you at the same time? I mean just look at this, this is clearly Creator/WashingtonIrving[='s=] first draft of ''Literature/TheLegendOfSleepyHollow'' I mean that's what this game is based on obviously." |
| 126 | ** "It seems you forgot to add soap to your bath experience! Allow me to...slap your titties until they produce milk and thus artificial bubbles! Why are you not lactating yet, I just gave your titties the one-two-slapperoo!" |
| 127 | * His [[https://youtu.be/7nmhehvTiu4?t=356 rant]] while playing VideoGame/PokemonVietnameseCrystal |
| 128 | ** "You have the audacity to tell me that this is "EASY TO UNDERSTAND" when I'm over here decoding hieroglyphics trying to figure out what the FUCK these characters are saying to me in thier cryptic, disruptive language. They're missing W's, they're missing G's, they're missing grammer; and you're going to tell me it's fucking "EASY TO UNDERSTAND"? You sit there on your high horse and tell me it's "EASY TO UNDERSTAND" you can go right the fuck ahead and shit in my rectum, if that's what you're trying to do." |
| 129 | * From [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--PPzO7PRMc Octodad]] - "That's a nice position, looks like I'm about to get a blowjob from a stegosaurus." |
| 130 | ** When Octodad's son isn't given a name, Critikal promptly dubs him 'Abazor.' And soon after, spontaneously decides to axe-murder him. [[InsaneTrollLogic "It looks like you've just seen a sheep putting on a condom, I must kill you,]] [[ApologeticAttacker I'm sorry!"]] |
| 131 | *** The best part? The developers apparently saw this, as one of the items in Gervason's Grocery Store in ''Dadliest Catch'' is a toy robot named Abazor! |
| 132 | ** "Oh! It's ''Octopuses Gone Wild,'' it's having sex with the bar!" |
| 133 | * He spends much of the ''VideoGame/SilentHills'' playable teaser getting angry at cockroaches. |
| 134 | ** In the video where he plays ''Roach'', he gives what could be considered a TheReasonYouSuckSpeech to cockroaches in general: |
| 135 | -->''"I think they're the most disgusting, awful, revolting, repulsive, putrid, rancid, hopeless, meaningless, careless, pointless, useless, nippleless, wiener-fondling, fart-inducing, shit-producing sacks of filth this world can offer."'' |
| 136 | * ''VideoGame/FiveNightsAtFreddys'' is apparently the most-requested game Critikal has ever played, and for good reason. His fearlessness and snark makes the game [[NightmareRetardant less scary]] than it normally is. |
| 137 | -->'''(Upon seeing Chica in the dining room)''' "That duck looks like it has a soup ladle shoved up its ass. Poor thing looks startled." |
| 138 | -->'''(While ranting at Phone Guy)''' "I'd like to emphasize the importance of a concise message that conveys what you want to say-" *[[http://youtu.be/jKq4IQVos58?t=6m25s attacked by Bonnie]]* "[[CasualDangerDialogue All right, excuse me, then.]]" |
| 139 | -->'''(When Freddy visits him in the dark)''' "Serenade me, Fazbear. Serenade my candy ass." |
| 140 | ** His increasing anger at Phone Guy's verbosity. |
| 141 | ** Toward the end of the video, he starts talking about a [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment story between him and a girl that seems to start off as sexy but quickly goes into completely hilarious territory]]. |
| 142 | ** One of the comments suggests a hilarious alternative to a gruesome death when the animatronics catch you. |
| 143 | -->'''Freddy''': "Oh man! Did you piss yourself? That was perfect! Hi, my name is Freddy and this is my band. We like screwing with the night shift guy to pass the time. Hey, you want a beer? We keep them in the back and put them in the pizza dough. Let me tell you, those kids get ''fucked up''!" |
| 144 | ** ''(while opening and closing the door repeatedly on Bonnie)'' "I can do this all day, bear. All day. Peekaboo." |
| 145 | ** "Well this is really stirring my pasta." |
| 146 | ** His non-chalant, almost bored reaction when Bonnie attacks him. |
| 147 | --> '''[=Cr1tikal:=]''' (puts camera down) "Oh, okay then." |
| 148 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiBnWHx8QiQ Hybrid Heaven]]. oh dear god... |
| 149 | ** The absolute crowning moment is when the main character answers the door while jacking off and critikals commentary just makes it even better. |
| 150 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wF-wEmi0IuM The]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2ROwdhqSkw Captain]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ek1P8T53bMM Pronin]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDMburzKN-Q quadrilogy.]] |
| 151 | ** "I milk myself when I run." |
| 152 | ** Critikal!Pronin arguing with the sex hotline operator. |
| 153 | ** "Anytime, Mr. President. Look, feel free to contact me whenever about whatever. You want me to do magic at a birthday party? Alakazam, I'm right there fucking your wife." |
| 154 | ** Critikal!Pronin's accordion performance. |
| 155 | --> ''(tears accordion in half)'' Fuckin' nailed it. |
| 156 | ** "Why are the New York Yankees stealing statues?" |
| 157 | ** [[ThirdPersonPerson "You answer Pronin when Pronin speaks to you!"]] ''(walks off in a tutu)'' "You don't answer my questions, I steal your clothes. I'm a gorgeous ballerina." ''(walks onstage during the ballet)'' "Rub your nipples on my cock, you fucking amateurs! Get out of the way, I'm Captain Pronin!" |
| 158 | ** "Don't blow your load yet, Chef Boyardee, I got more for you." |
| 159 | ** "Sorry, honey, the President wants to do Jello shots off my nipples." |
| 160 | ** He wasn't the best father but I always looked up to him because he was 8 feet tall. |
| 161 | ** "Do you like nature? Well, that's too fuckin' bad, here's a bear. You're watching Cobmecthoe...Npean...partine and some Russian shit." |
| 162 | * ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpdsfBA9h3Q The Worst Cutscene Ever Created]]''. Critikal's anger and confusion over the cutscene's crappiness and plot is priceless. |
| 163 | * Critikal finds himself a copy of ''Foodfight'' with {{blind idiot translation}} subtitles. It's so absurd that [[NotSoStoic even he can't do the entire thing deadpan and starts cracking up a few times.]] |
| 164 | * And now, he's found [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brkGK_v4SzE the worst game he's ever played.]] Bonus points for raging over the fact that he can't even understand the dialogue. |
| 165 | --> "I can't understand what these characters are saying half the time. What's his name? Benjamin Spoon-Carrots or something?" |
| 166 | --> "If a man lit my car on fire, took a shit in my shoes, milked my dogs without their consent, and stepped on my thumb, I would ''still'' hope he lives a life where he ''never'' has to play this game." |
| 167 | * Now, Critikal has found out that [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcEDtftPeRE wrestling is real after all.]] |
| 168 | --> "Just as my father told me when I was a wee lad, wrestling will evolve and take place above the ring." |
| 169 | * ''Layers of Fear:''' |
| 170 | ** When he was reading the opening line, he decides to add an extra letter. |
| 171 | --->"Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the s[[spoiler:h]]itter." |
| 172 | ** His brief singing at one point: |
| 173 | --->"Oh, oh, oh, AH! I can't feel my WIENER when I'm with you! But I love WIENER! But I love WIENER!" |
| 174 | * Critikal shows [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv1DSObh1iY the highlights of Deadmau5's performance at TI5]] |
| 175 | * The fact that, after so long being known among fans for [[TheVoice not showing his face]], he finally does so... [[http://the-sleepiest-cloud.tumblr.com/post/131503226904 playing two recorders.]] |
| 176 | * [=Cr1tikal=] shows up in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQ563wk-kN0 an episode of]] ''Planet Dolan''. He has his introduction interrupted by a cough. |
| 177 | * In his ''VideoGame/EmilyWantsToPlay'' video, [=Cr1tikal=] gets bored of the game and decides to play his ukelele. Then the lights go out and [=Cr1t=] drops his ukelele trying to reach for the mouse. |
| 178 | -->''"You bent me over, and handled me like a man, but you didn't come inside me, you came in my'' haaaaaaaaaand, ''yeah, you- [giggling] [[OhCrap oh shit, oh fuck, fuck]] [ukelele falls], okay, well, yes, yep- just dropped the ukelele lunging for the mouse- [[[JumpScare doll kills the player character]]] Perfect, yep. That was ten minutes well spent and I probably just busted this fucking ukelele. That's... now we're feeling it.'' |
| 179 | * [=Cr1TiKaL=] and his good friend Kaya decide to watch some [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_82BWrwdv4 wrestling.]] Throughout the video, especially when [[Wrestling/NewJack New Jack]] gets the [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown upper hand]] against Gypsy Joe, [=Cr1TiKaL=], who is known for being TheStoic and a DeadpanSnarker, absolutely ''breaks down laughing'' '''''multiple times'''''. |
| 180 | * [[TwoWords Two words:]] '''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVBeX8Yo25g Sad Fish.]]''' It features [=Cr1TiKaL=] making fun of depressed-looking fish, ''especially the frogfish.'' |
| 181 | -->"[[KickTheDog Fuck you, frogfish.]]" |
| 182 | * Cracking up while reading the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgQfz2a0JfQ MONA Manifesto]] |
| 183 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fe5rkdp4taY The Huggbees Baste]] Just... The Huggbees Baste. |
| 184 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jURcSzpVGeQ Yu Yu Hakushit]], an abridgement of [[Anime/YuYuHakusho Yu Yu Hakusho: The Movie]] and a hastily made entry into ''[[Creator/TeamFourStar Team Four Star's]]'' abridging competition. It's... ''something''. |
| 185 | ** The disclaimer. Instead of simply rattling off copyrights and ownerships, it's Critikal [[NonSequitur rambling a bunch of silly nonsense]]. |
| 186 | ** The sound effects are merely Critikal and Huggbees making a bunch of noises, with the exception of the running sounds, which can be heard as "Taptaptaptaptap" or "Runrunrunrunrunrun", as well as [[SuddenlyShouting THE SOUND IT MAKES WHEN SOMEONE PICKS UP AN ORANGE!]] |
| 187 | ** The plot. A vitamin C monster has kidnapped a baby and will only give him up if he's brought an orange. Yusuke concludes that the best place to find an orange is in Hell. |
| 188 | ** While running towards the main villain's lair, Kuwabara is grabbed by the leg by a hand emerging from the ground and trips over, remarking that it's a [[{{Pun}} nasty handjob]]. Immediately afterwards, a mook with a photoshopped demon face and nightmarish voice goes over the sheer torment that he will inflict on Yusuke and company ''[[OverlyLongGag for a full minute]]'', after which Yusuke and Kuwabara decide to, in their own words, run like little bitches. |
| 189 | ** Hiei's voice is replaced with that of [[VideoGame/NBAJam Tim Kitzrow]]. |
| 190 | --->'''Hiei, after cutting a Mook into pieces:''' ''BOOMSHAKALAKA!'' |
| 191 | ** "NORMAL DODGE!" |
| 192 | ** The vitamin C monster gets covered in lava and spends half a minute bitching about how much it hurts. |
| 193 | --->'''Vitamin C monster:''' ''I don't think you guys understand how much this hurts. I was in fucking LAVA. That shit's, like, a thousand fucking degrees.'' |
| 194 | ** Afterwards, the monster decides to use his ultimate attack. He never gets to use it but he spends [[OverlyLongGag a very long time]] [[CallingYourAttacks saying its name.]] |
| 195 | ** The ending. Yusuke is unsure of what to do next, with Kuwabara suggesting he come to his bar mitzvah. Suddenly, all characters in the shot are shown wearing yarmulkes. Then the camera pans out to show ''the Earth itself'' wearing one. |
| 196 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZIttz6Rtzo MGS V: Saving Miller]] - he gets so pissed at Miller for asking him "[[ComplainingAboutRescuesTheyDontLike What took you so long?]]" that he spends the entire video killing him. |
| 197 | * During his gameplay of ''VideoGame/{{Outlast}}'', he reacts to a JumpScare of a screaming headless corpse falling from the ceiling by calling him rude for yelling at him. |
| 198 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSRGg8ee4r4 The Wrestling Match of the Century]]. [=Cr1TiKaL=] plays [[VideoGame/WWEVideoGames WWE 2K15]] and sets up a 6-man elimination chamber match...with five of the wrestlers all being different versions of Creator/BrendanFraser, who all ''share the exact same entrance animation and music.'' And the sixth wrestler? [[FailureHero Cow Man]], making his [[HesBack return]] from earlier WWE videos. |
| 199 | ** What Cow Man (and by extension, some of the Frasers) does for most of the match is basically [[BodyHorror glitch all across the elimination chamber,]] for unexplained reasons. Plus, Cow Man is also the second person to get pin falled, ''moments'' after Classic Fraser. Which is hardly surprising, considering [[ButtMonkey who he is]]. |
| 200 | ** When the match dwindles down to just Narcissistic Fraser vs. Deformed Fraser, the latter, despite the number of pin-falls and [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown beatings]] he's received, ''absolutely refuses to get pin-falled'', [[{{Determinator}} trying his best to finish Narcissistic Fraser]]. [[ShaggyDogStory He ultimately fails to do so]], but ''damn'', did he never stop until the bitter end. |
| 201 | * [=Cr1TiKaL=] made a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwqL0mk7nXY parody video]] where he spoofs fidget spinners, ouija boards and the [[RunningGag incessant]] request to like the video that some [=YouTubers=] do...while wearing an Elsa helmet on top of it. |
| 202 | -->"It's Shit Pants Scary Ghost Guy!" |
| 203 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8gBEfCZiDI How to destroy an economy via monkey nuts according to Cr1tiKal]]. |
| 204 | * [=Cr1TiKaL=] decided to play Platform/{{Roblox}} in a stream. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7yvmoriAhE This is a video with the stream's highlights]], and it's...''glorious'', to say the least. One particular clip has most players in the map, ''as well as somebody who donated'', simply chanting [[MadnessMantra JOIN BRICK BOYZ]]. [=Cr1T=], once again, known for being an eternal [[TheStoic stoic]] and DeadpanSnarker, ''entirely'' loses his shit, unable to emit anything other than small giggles. |
| 205 | -->'''Player:''' [[UnfortunateImplications hi want to be my son brother]]\ |
| 206 | '''[=Cr1TiKaL=]:''' ''(speechless with laughter)'' |
| 207 | * ''Every goddamn frame'' of his ''VideoGame/EnviroBear2000'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLbFz8jqe6c gameplay]]...or rather his gameplay of a ''bear driving sim.'' To elaborate, the former half has him accidentally throw his clock away, but is still able to hibernate before winter - and later on, a large rock presses down on the bear's gas pedal, perpetually ramming him into a larger rock. Plus, the entirety of the latter half has the bear's car progressively become ''filled to the absolute brim'' with random objects like pine cones, leaves, rocks, fish, berries, bees ''and at one point a badger''. [=Cr1T=] also focuses on ramming into the [[ArtificialIntelligence A.I.]] opponents, and in the end is still able to complete the level ''with only just a few seconds left!'' |
| 208 | -->"And my passenger seat is filled to the bitch with scrotum tickling accessories." |
| 209 | * His attempted [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeeekUbvzJs playthrough]] of VideoGame/{{Battletoads}}, which is basically just him trying to complete [[ThatOneLevel Turbo Tunnel]] for 8 minutes while also mistaking his character as a frog, only realizing that he's a toad ''almost 7 minutes into the video.'' |
| 210 | -->"Show them what you're workin' with, Mr. Frog, yeeeeaah... ''(dies)'' ...[[DespairEventHorizon you anus]]..."\ |
| 211 | "[[BadassBoast Frog fury]], [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitches]], here it is, that's a wall..." |
| 212 | * Aside from a small scream after a leaf flies in front of his scope while playing Medal of Honor, [=Cr1tiKal=] has never been scared by a video game before: even ''VideoGame/{{Outlast}}'', ''VideoGame/FiveNightsAtFreddys'' and ''VideoGame/{{Slender}}'' fail to elicit any signs of fear from him. So what finally manages to make [=Cr1tiKal=] scream? [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KoQNS19RhU 3AM at the Krusty Krab]]. |
| 213 | * His [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdPZS8DC9AY Sodden Super Slam Smackdown]] livestream, showing gameplay of ''WWE 2K18'' featuring [[MegaCrossover four of his most popular characters:]] [[GreenAndMean Beef]] [[PintsizedPowerhouse Testosterone]], [[GloriousMotherRussia Captain Pronin]], [[BeastMan Cow]] [[FailureHero Man]] and [[DespairEventHorizon Professor]] [[TheEeyore Sad]], all fighting each other and in a tag team against [[TooKinkyToTorture Fetishimo]], [[Franchise/{{Transformers}} Optimus Prime]], [[HumanoidAliens Ourvork]] [[GalacticConqueror The Conqueror]] and a ''[[RealMenWearPink pink]]'' Advertising/{{Trix Rabbit}} - in addition to [[AndZoidberg Super Snorkler]] who appears in a Ladder match. Highlights include: |
| 214 | ** Tiana voicing her hopes on Ourvork winning in a 8-way Battle Royale match. Only ''moments'' after, he's the first to be thrown out of the ring. |
| 215 | ** Optimus Prime's continuous {{No Holds Barred Beatdown}}s towards Super Snorkler, to the point where Charlie states just how much Prime hates the Snorkler. |
| 216 | ** Cow Man thwarting Ourvork's pin on Beef...the latter immediately responding by trying to attack Cow Man, who punches him right in the face. And then Ourvork shoves Cow Man right off the ring. |
| 217 | --->"Oh, by God, ''Cow Man again is cheating! '''Jesus motherfucking Christ'''''!" |
| 218 | ** Cow Man randomly punching Fetishimo in the face, despite the latter not even being tagged in. |
| 219 | ** Pretty much the majority of the 8-man tag team match, especially the [[{{Pun}} climax]]: after Cow Man thwarts Optimus' pin on Beef, an enraged Prime tosses Cow Man into the corner of the ring, before throwing Beef in the ''same'' corner, and then the unthinkable occurs. Due to a brutal GameBreakingBug, Optimus finds ''himself'' in the corner as well, engaging in a position that can only be described as a '''''turnbuckle threeway'''''. When the creation of the "peanut butter and fuck sandwich" has ended, the scene seems to have affected the rest of the fighters, with them continuously entering and exiting the ring and their tag positions, and some even just wandering aimlessly...and Cow Man? ''He remains in the corner of the ring for the rest of the match, completely unmoving and presumably DiedStandingUp.'' Or, in Charlie's words: "Cow Man's spine has literally been severed". Even the referee is also affected, perpetually staring off into space or right at Cow Man directly unless a pin is being performed. In the end, the new characters manage to best the OG squad, Trix doing the pin on Beef. |
| 220 | ** The last match of the stream ends with the game finally giving up the ghost and crashing. Charlie assumes that it was because the game couldn't handle any more of Cow Man's relentlessness, which technically means that Cow Man has earned a long sought for victory after ''everyone else''[[note]][[AndZoidberg sans Super Snorkler]][[/note]] won before him. |
| 221 | * The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CosNpKKIBk entirety of him corrupting]] [[VideoGame/RideToHellRetribution Ride to Hell]]. |
| 222 | * [=Cr1TiKaL=] trolling his teammates while playing ''VideoGame/LastYearTheNightmare'' by refusing to rescue them from closets unless they meet his demands - such as doing an impression of Heath Ledger's Joker from ''Film/TheDarkKnight'', or answering trivia questions. |
| 223 | ** His nicknames for the survivors, such as [[WesternAnimation/JimmyNeutronBoyGenius "Skinny Carl Wheezer"]] for Nick and [[WesternAnimation/EdEddNEddy "female Jimmy"]] for Sam. |
| 224 | * For the better part of 2018, people in the comment section of [=Cr1TiKaL=]'s videos kept requesting him to do a Moist Meter on ''Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga''. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEHdpsKcuhM For Christmas]], he went out on an errand. |
| 225 | -->'''[=Cr1TiKaL=]:''' [[ShaggyDogStory See? (tosses game into trash) It's that easy. Fuck LEGO Star Wars.]] |
| 226 | * While playing Fear of Nightmares, he gets killed by a jumpscare consisting of a werewolf flying at him while making a loud screeching. He then (in his standard monotone) states this was the first jumpscare to ever startle him. The rest of the video is him describing how angry he is that a "bottom of the nutsack barrel" jumpscare actually scared him. |
| 227 | * The [=RiceGum=] saga: |
| 228 | ** "It's like a little bit of a Clue game, you know what I mean, but instead of identifying a killer, you're identifying a huge douchebag, and it's always [=RiceGum=]." |
| 229 | ** [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech "And this man is so fucking dumb, he can't even write a sentence without showing how fucking dumb he is. The title of the video is ''[=YouTubers=] Calls Me Out''. (...) You're like the Floyd Mayweather of [=YouTube=], absolutely illiterate, but instead of being good at fighting like Mayweather, you're good at nothing. You have no discernible skills. The title should read ''[=YouTubers=] Call Me Out'' for being a big piece of shit."]] |
| 230 | ** "Now, calling this video "an apology" would be like calling Creator/AmySchumer a good comedian, it's not even close." |
| 231 | ** "This man openly drops trousers and takes a big ol' peepee right in their mouth. I don't know why they accept the golden shower from [=RiceGum=] so frequently, but they do. They must fucking love it. It's their fetish, their kink." |
| 232 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_mA0IDio6OVMpFUNJQv6zeta1D9fUpIO The Jaystation saga]]: |
| 233 | ** Snickering at Jaystation's failed attempt at a jumpscare. |
| 234 | --->'''Charlie:''' I have nothing to say about that, I really fucking liked that a lot. |
| 235 | ** Mocking the MotorMouth on one of Jay's friends. |
| 236 | ** "That tastes like dementia. Bro, did you lace my drink with dementia?" |
| 237 | ** Jaystation forgets what his fanbase is called and continuously asks Stromedy, much to the annoyance of Charlie. |
| 238 | --->'''Jaystation:''' Oh man, what's my fanbase called again?\ |
| 239 | '''Charlie:''' The Small Dick Society, I believe that's what your fanbase is known as, Jaystation.\ |
| 240 | '''Jaystation:''' What were they called? What were they called? My fanbase...\ |
| 241 | '''Charlie:''' They're called fucking idiots, Jaystation. How could you forget that? |
| 242 | ** "Jaystation's gone feral, he's gonna start running around on all fours, taking a shit in the living room. It's about to get fucking messy." |
| 243 | ** The conclusion of the Memory Loss potion prank, supposedly has Stromedy having to explain the situation to the police. To which, Charlie has some advice for him: |
| 244 | --->'''Charlie:''' Honestly, your best bet Stromedy, in that situation, would just be: go outside and just ask if they'll buy your merch. Just plug your fuckin' merch to the police. That would be fuckin' lit bro, pluggin' merch to the coppers. |
| 245 | ** Small-penised Jaystation, little baby-weinered Jaystation. |
| 246 | ** "Sticking your cock in the dirty gloryhole of a biker bar feels less gross than watching a full Jaystation video." |
| 247 | * The entirety of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SiiRx7GDzI 2019 Guy]]. Intentionally sung in the style of a particularly angsty and pretentious early 2000s band. |
| 248 | -->''My dick's not big\ |
| 249 | My girlfriend fucks my friend\ |
| 250 | You say I'm down on my luck\ |
| 251 | I say it's a win-win,\ |
| 252 | 'cause I'm a cuck!\ |
| 253 | And I hope he fucks her good\ |
| 254 | In a way I wish I could\ |
| 255 | I just want to [[SkywardScream WATCH!]]'' |
| 256 | * In his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDfV74pfpy0 video mocking the Titans trailer]], Charlie puts on dark clothes and make-up to mock Robin saying "Fuck Batman." only to admit he doesn't know how to get the lipgloss or nail polish off and doing the rest of the video with it on. |
| 257 | * In his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZAU0a4ZJg4 video of playing]] VideoGame/Fallout76: |
| 258 | ** He names his character "I Don't Like Kids." |
| 259 | --->"I'd like to introduce you to my character, Mr. I Am Not a Pedophile." |
| 260 | ** Charlie's thoughts on Creator/ToddHoward claiming that "he read on the internet that Bethesda's games have bugs". |
| 261 | --->'''Charlie:''' Todd didn't hear shit. Todd doesn't even know how to use the internet. |
| 262 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmE827lgLjc 3AM Toy Story is Too Scary]] |
| 263 | ** "He's basically Jaystation, without the crippling meth addiction." |
| 264 | ** "Bonnie's father has come out of nowhere to join [[VideoGame/SuperSmashBros Smash Brothers]]-" |
| 265 | ** "Guys Guys Guys Guys Guys Guys Woody Woody Wow" |
| 266 | ** His other jab at Jaystation. |
| 267 | --->'''Charlie:''' When he does these shit videos, and it's all he does. |
| 268 | * Charlie watching and commenting on ''Breakout''. Especially, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uizqcp-Az0 this stream]]. |
| 269 | * After Charlie's stunning win in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekMVSQBlSOo the chess match]] against XQC, the hosts decide to listen to his audio, only to hear him yell out "My cock is throbbing! ''Throbbing''!" |
| 270 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsW4npZ0bDk The Worst Toy Ever Made]], which lampoons a unicorn doll whose purpose is to poop out slime that you play with. |
| 271 | -->'''Announcer:''' Now we're ready to make unicorn slime!\ |
| 272 | '''Charlie:''' '''''[[SuddenlyShouting WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!]]''''' [[LargeHam YEAAAAH, BABYYYYYY]], that's what I've been waiting for, that's what it's all about, ''(one of his dogs goes up to him)'' WOO-HOOOOOO! [[ARareSentence WE'RE MAKING A UNICORN TAKE A SHIT!]] ''([[ScrewThisImOuttaHere the dog immediately leaves]])'' WOO-HOO-HOOOOO! |
| 273 | ** Additionally, the fact that many people who first saw this clip from the resulting memes thought that it was from a stream where he won a match in a game, yet he was actually sarcastically reacting to a toy where you make a plastic rainbow unicorn poop out glittery slime. |
| 274 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEQ0OOnRMmI "Youtuber Taught Me How to Eat Ass"]] The title and thumbnail. |
| 275 | * Despite his [[WeaksauceWeakness inability to take in spicy peppers]], Charlie steels his nerves and [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0XGAgTMDbM decides to tier-rank several spicy peppers]]. Naturally this leads to him undergoing one HeroicRROD after another, even whimpering and in tears while downing milk and ice cream ([[AndZoidberg as well as far more useless honey]]). The ghost chili destroys Charlie so badly that Matt opts to eat the rest of it. The result is him ''screaming'' and channeling Creator/JimCarrey for a few minutes. |
| 276 | -->'''Charlie:''' The honey has done ''nothing! Absolutely nothing!'' Where did you read that, [[TakeThat on Reddit or something?!]] [[FlatEarthAtheist Like the fucking flat Earther subreddit?!]] ''Oh, my God!'' |
| 277 | * While playing a poor Steam game called [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrZxW284Jns ''Temple Fight'']], someone in his chat suggests that he does a Moist Meter on the game, leading Charlie to laugh and say he'll think it over. |
| 278 | ** "Go back to the spirit realm!" |
| 279 | * While everything is gold in his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eq72iEjcU4w Youtuber Apology Tier List]], the [=RiceGum=] section is particularly hilarious. |
| 280 | -->'''Charlie:''' [=RiceGum=] himself is like a human F. Everything that man does is an F-tier. If a fucking gas station toilet could speak, it'd have more interesting things to say than [=RiceGum=]. |
| 281 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKxyqfrtcBs His video]] on ''VideoGame/BalanWonderworld'', has him playing a different game afterwards. But, there's no transition, and the second game is glitched out, making one think it's still ''Balan Wonderworld''. |
| 282 | ** The second game that he plays is an Asian horror game called ''The Super Market'', featuring very ''LOUD'' screams from enemies. The second enemy's scream goes on for quite a while, since it can't figure out how to go around a shelf. |
| 283 | --->[''enemy starts screaming'']\ |
| 284 | '''Charlie:''' [[SarcasmMode That sounds pretty good actually.]] |
| 285 | * ''Freaky Eaters'': |
| 286 | ** "Women Possessed By Cheesy Potato Demon" |
| 287 | ** His interpretation of and really anything he says regarding Mike Dow. |
| 288 | * Series/DragonsDen: |
| 289 | ** The titles and thumbnails. - "Man Invents Bottle That Holds Water" |
| 290 | ** "I've suffered a lot, I've slept in my car, and I haven't been able to have a wash in four days cause I was that busy." |
| 291 | --->'''Charlie:''' And? It's called being a gamer. |
| 292 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xlC0kzUX7k&t Real Supervillain Gives People Heart Attacks]] |
| 293 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-EDtPLye_k 10 Real Goblins Caught on Camera]] |
| 294 | ** "I like to believe that the guy behind the channel is truly frightened by the things that he finds and posts them in earnest." |
| 295 | * The title and thumbnail of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2exWoLhSbc one of his videos]] on Series/ForgedInFire: "Forged in Overwhelming Masculinity" |
| 296 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVN5XccBM_8 God Hates Gamers]], all of it. For a bit of context: Charlie watches two videos of preachers ranting about video games. The first guy basically just mocks gamers ("I beat ''Call of Duty''... the newest one that came out... in three days. Loser!") and suggests reading the bible as a replacement hobby. The second guy goes on a tangent, claiming that gaming is an epidemic and that people should destroy their gaming consoles. ("Why don't you delete all those video games off your phone and take your X-Box and toss it out the window!") At least... until he randomly starts ranting about Jewish people and Bill Gates. |
| 297 | -->'''Charlie:''' Man, they hate video games out here. Holy shit. |
| 298 | ** His explanation for the second guy's hatred of video games, followed by a comment from someone in the chat suggesting an alternative. |
| 299 | --->'''Charlie:''' This man played ''VideoGame/{{Overwatch}}'' one time and got a bad teammate.\ |
| 300 | [....]\ |
| 301 | '''Charlie:''' ''(reading a comment from chat)'' "He preordered ''VideoGame/{{Anthem}}...''"\ |
| 302 | Yep, that will do it. |
| 303 | * In his playthrough of ''VideoGame/TwelveMinutes'', he decides to go for one of the [[EarnYourBadEnding bad endings]]. After fulfilling the KickTheDog requirements, [[CrossesTheLineTwice he then proceeds]] to have the protagonist eat his wife's dessert on the other side of the room while his spouse has an emotional breakdown. |
| 304 | * His rant on Franchise/{{Bleach}} during the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6IQATCQWx8 Anime Tier List]] is quite majestic. |
| 305 | ** To make things even better, after he's done, someone in his chat tells him "Thanks for the spoiler." Which he reads out and responds by saying he did the person a favor. |
| 306 | ** Regarding the plot of [[Manga/BloodBlockadeBattlefront Blood Blockade Battlefront]]: |
| 307 | --->'''Charlie:''' Like this entire story is the wettest fart of all time, in anime. ''Nothing'' in this show makes any sense whatsoever... At all. |
| 308 | * Charlie's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOCJ4MQd7_k playthrough]] of ''VideoGame/PoppyPlaytime''. During the first encounter with Huggy, Charlie is facing the wrong way and gets flung towards the vent. Even though, he unintentionally discovered a speedrun strategy, Charlie believes Huggy to be a boss and attempts to fight him. It fails. |
| 309 | ** Charlie's reaction to being flung by Huggy is a monotone: [[DullSurprise "Oh, I see."]] |
| 310 | ** While being chased by Huggy in the vent, Charlie stops to read writing on the wall and gets killed. |
| 311 | ** He cuts off the second tape and tells the guy who recorded it to "stop whining." |
| 312 | ** At the end when he finds Poppy. He immediately flings his hand at her box, but wasn't expecting it to open. |
| 313 | --->'''Poppy:''' You opened my case.\ |
| 314 | '''Charlie:''' Well, not on purpose. It was an actual accident. |
| 315 | * During [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IK-PiKwV2E4 Netflix Cowboy Bebop is Bad]], he makes a failed attempt to compliment the series. |
| 316 | -->'''Charlie:''' I'd rather watch [[Series/CowboyBebop2021 live-action]] ''Anime/CowboyBebop'' than security camera footage of my car being stolen... So, that's saying something. |
| 317 | * Charlie [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q80pVBl_h9o playing]] [[VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoViceCity GTA Vice City Remastered]]. Best summed up by the Moist Man himself: |
| 318 | -->"There's never a dull moment in Vice City." |
| 319 | ** He punches a cop because he wasn't sure it was a cop. As he runs away, another cop chases him, until he runs out of breath near a moped. Charlie then jacks the moped, but is immediately knocked off it and busted by the cop. |
| 320 | --->"He fed me [[Wrestling/DwayneJohnson the People's]] [[Wrestling/{{WWE}} Elbow]] there." |
| 321 | ** This bit of HypocriticalHumor after crashing into a car and sending it flying. |
| 322 | --->"Man, no one in this city can drive. Bunch of maniacs out here." |
| 323 | ** "Fucking boy scout just ran this man over." |
| 324 | ** While randomly cruising on a motorcycle, Charlie witnesses a cop chasing after a suspect, only for both to be hit by a cop car. |
| 325 | ** Immediately after, an NPC starts glitching out, leading Charlie to think the man is transcending. And a few seconds later, a hooker does the same. |
| 326 | ** He jacks a motorcycle with two riders on it. The driver is sent flying while the passenger ends up walking on Tommy's head. |
| 327 | ** During a mission, Charlie equips a chainsaw and attempts to ambush two dealers from the top of a roof stairwell. He overshoots it and almost hits one of his AI partners. |
| 328 | --->"From the top turnbuckle!" |
| 329 | * Charlie's greatest nemesis ever: [[https://youtu.be/N-RZIF9WCPg a wasp flying over him]] while fighting a boss in ''VideoGame/EldenRing''. The man's screams says it all. |
| 330 | * In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NFKwNeVgoU "Nobody Likes Amy Schumer"]], Charlie talks about Creator/AmySchumer's awful "joke" that she wasn't allowed to say during the Oscars.[[note]]"''Film/DontLookUp'' is the name of a movie? More like don't look down the barrel of Creator/AlecBaldwin's shotgun."[[/note]] He criticizes it because it brings up Alec Baldwin, even though he's not in the film, then proceeds to demonstrate why it's dumb, by making three jokes involving films that Amy wasn't in. While the jokes themselves aren't funny, Charlie's delivery of them is. Especially with the third one. |
| 331 | -->"''[[WesternAnimation/HeManAndTheMastersOfTheUniverse1983 He-Man]]''? More like Help-Me-Man, I just had to listen to Amy Schumer tell another fucking awful joke and now I'm in need of medical assistance." |
| 332 | * His review of an Indiegogo campaign for [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnBBst7eJwc an interactive salt shaker called Smalt]]: |
| 333 | -->'''Woman in the video:''' Let Smalt be the conversation piece of your dinner party.\ |
| 334 | '''Charlie:''' If I ever host a dinner party that's ''so goddamn boring'' that people start talking about my salt shakers, just fucking shoot me. |
| 335 | * His review of a Kickstarter campaign for [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqTdoN4y36U the Potato Doctor]] (a screwdriver-like device for putting toppings in baked potatoes): |
| 336 | ** "As all of us know, there's three big medical fields. There's cardiology, there's neurology, and there's potatology." |
| 337 | ** When the woman in the video starts the pitch with "We all love to eat," he points out that it's a horrible way to start a Kickstarter campaign because eating is something everyone in the world does. |
| 338 | --->It doesn't matter who you are or where you're from or what you've been through. Your sky is still blue. Go ahead and order this nutsack blanket. It's a blanket for your nutsack. |
| 339 | ** When the video shows an "undesirable" baked potato with no toppings except a single pat of butter: |
| 340 | --->That looks pretty damn good to me, but then again, what do I know? The baked potatoes I make can't afford healthcare, so they can't go to the Potato Doctor. |
| 341 | * His review of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCRx78Zhj7s the Juicero]]: After the juicer finishes squeezing the juice out of the packet, he says, "Ta-da! That's all, pussies! What, were you expecting more out of four hundred dollars?" |
| 342 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ii4UsT9EkjM Worst Response Ever]] has him watching and making fun of a response from a scammer who tried to use a [=YouTuber=] named [=IShowSpeed=] to shill his crypto game, but failed when chat caught on. |
| 343 | -->'''Charlie:''' (''laughs'') Ohh, this is so sad now. You staked the rug pull on a seventeen year old's audience, it didn't pan out, he has now wiped his ass with your whole company, and you are still here begging for that audience to accept you by pretending like things are like close between you two. Yikes, that's embarrassing. Jesus Christ, man. Have some shame. |
| 344 | * Him [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpXAZMpkeSI playing]] ''Greyhill Incident'': |
| 345 | ** Regarding the overwhelmingly negative reviews: |
| 346 | --->'''Charlie:''' We might have ourselves the ''[[VideoGame/TheLordOfTheRingsGollum Gollum]]'' of alien games. |
| 347 | ** Upon getting in the truck, he is shocked to see how the character seems to shrink to child height. |
| 348 | --->"How short am I?! (....) Where's my booster seat or a stack of textbooks?" |
| 349 | ** Whenever he is attacked by the aliens, he interprets their method as sucking Ryan (the player character) off and acts as though he is the one being fellated. |
| 350 | --->"Oh my god. He's slurping me down! Ahh.. Ah.. Oh!"\ |
| 351 | "(while mashing the E key to escape) Let go of my cock!"\ |
| 352 | "I don't know how much more of this I can take before I nut." |
| 353 | *** And when he gets attacked by two: |
| 354 | ---->"No, not the double suck! (furiously pressing E) Ohhhooooo!"\ |
| 355 | "(after losing) I was defenseless against two... One on each nut... Oh, too much. Feels too good.." |
| 356 | * He reenacts Sienna Mae's infamous interpretive dance apology by [[https://youtu.be/FyIKCv4AnB4?t=32 dancing like Pennywise.]] |
| 357 | ** While the subject matter itself is quite serious, [[DeadpanSnarker Charlie]] gets some good zingers at [[DreadfulMusician Colleen's]] expense. |
| 358 | *** "That bleeding in your ears is normal. This is a ''ukelele apology video''." |
| 359 | ---->'''Colleen:''' The toxic gossip train. You got a one-way ticket to misinformation station.\ |
| 360 | '''Charlie:''' Nah, she's giving us a ticket to ''defecation'' station, 'cause this is some shit here. |
| 361 | * What does he do to celebrate the United States' Independence Day? Conduct a [[https://youtu.be/M8k3zG7h23U citizenship test]]. |
| 362 | * In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hF_3UHEVx08 Yogurt Tier List]]: |
| 363 | -->'''Matt:''' Without the [=M&Ms=], it's got no legs to stand on.\ |
| 364 | '''Charlie:''' Yeah.\ |
| 365 | '''Matt:''' Good try, Yo-Crunch. Yo-Shit.\ |
| 366 | '''Charlie:''' The [=M&Ms=] were its make-up and without it, it was ugly. Ban make-up. Woman keep lying to us with make-up on.\ |
| 367 | '''Matt:''' They're all lying to us.\ |
| 368 | '''Charlie:''' Mhmm.\ |
| 369 | '''Matt:''' I don't get to wear make-up.\ |
| 370 | '''Charlie:''' So why do they?\ |
| 371 | '''Matt:''' Where's my push-up... jockstrap? (''everyone cracks up'')\ |
| 372 | '''Charlie:''' (''snickering'') Haven't heard that argument before yet, but that's-you're making a good point. |
| 373 | * During the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICBFRqZ8zxs Pumpkin Spice Tier List]], Charlie opens a Chobani Pumpkin Spice-flavored yogurt and is surprised when [[https://youtu.be/ICBFRqZ8zxs?si=lXLuol_VoI12uGYD&t=1366 the container spurts some back at him]]. |
| 374 | -->'''Charlie:''' Who shook up my yogurt...? What the fuck was that...? You really got me good with that one, guys. |
| 375 | ** While explaining how dangerously sharp Pumpkin granola is, Charlie takes a piece from the container and snickers when he notices that it's shaped like an [[VideoGame/AmongUs Amogus]]. |
| 376 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iuioe3DmhQ Donut Daddy Scares Me]] has Charlie continually chuckling while talking about and showing off a [=TikTok=] user who makes sexually suggestive videos of himself baking. |
| 377 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7U8qigvROoU Worst Restaurant in America]]. Charlie dunks on Long John Silver's while debating whether or not he should try it. During which, he calls out several trolls who say they like it. |
| 378 | -->'''Troll:''' You're just hating on [=LGS=] 'cause it's fun. I don't think it's bad.\ |
| 379 | '''Charlie:''' Have some fucking shame. Did you just actually drop an abbreviation for Long John Silver and get it wrong? [=LGS=]? It'd be [=LJS=] and ''nobody's'' abbreviating Long John Silver's! They don't have fans! Nobody's doing that! That's how I know you're lying, you didn't even get the fucking imaginary abbreviation correct.\ |
| 380 | [....]\ |
| 381 | '''Charlie:''' Thanks for the Tier 1, [=LongJohnSilverCEO=]. How long have you had that account? You just made it. Yeah, created two minutes ago. Don't even try and gaslight me into thinking there's real Long John Silver fans. I can see when you made the account... Scoundrel.\ |
| 382 | [....]\ |
| 383 | '''Troll:''' I am an [=LJS=] enjoyer.\ |
| 384 | '''Charlie:''' No, what you are is a goddamn liar. Stop, just stop. I know you're not. |
| 385 | ** There's also [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xe768w9E0Fc&t=260s this comment]] from chat that makes him laugh: |
| 386 | --->'''Comment:''' The one in my town burned down. Shit's wack. |
| 387 | * Charlie uses the Power of AI software to make Absolutely banger music about [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyWAnpI_UUQ growing a second anus and being able to shit twice as hard.]] It needs to be seen to be believed. |
| 388 | |
| 389 | [[AC:Fanworks]] |
| 390 | * Tumblr user poolnareff's [[http://lintufriikki.tumblr.com/post/127872641228/poolnareff-j0taromp4 AMV's]], which reveal that cr1tikal's voice works really well for [[Manga/JojosBizarreAdventure Jotaro Kujo]]. |
| 391 | * In his Moist Meter review video for ''Series/TheUmbrellaAcademy'' Season 2, one critique he has is that the siblings keep arguing with each other over nothing, prompting many a commenter that this is TruthInTelevision and [[RealityIsUnrealistic that Charlie wouldn't understand]] because he's an only child. |
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