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1[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/nevertooyoung.jpg]]
2 [[caption-width-right:350:[[SeanConneryIsAboutToShootYou Vanity and Uncle Jesse are about to shoot you]]! ]]''Never Too Young to Die'' is a low budget action/spy movie released in [[TheEighties 1986]]. It deals with the evil hermaphrodite Velvet Von Ragnar (played by [[Music/{{KISS}} Gene Simmons]]) who rules a gang of ''Film/MadMax''-style modern-day barbarians and seeks to [[WaterSourceTampering poison the water supply]] in Southern California with radioactive waste and make it undrinkable for 10,000 years. His main enemy is the Secret Agent Drew Stargrove (Creator/GeorgeLazenby), who has hold of the Ram-K (a disk he needs to execute his plan). When the two meet up early on, Ragnar kills Stargrove once he finds out he doesn't have the Ram-K. As such, his son Lance Stargrove (Creator/JohnStamos) has to team up with [[ActionGirl Danja Deering]] (played by singer {{Creator/Vanity}}) to stop him.
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4The movie was fairly obscure for some time, but gained some more recognition after ''Website/TheAgonyBooth'' and ''Website/SomethingAwful'' reviewed it. It wasn't until 2017 that the company Shout!factory gave it a proper DVD and Blu-ray release.
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7!!''Never Too Young to Die'' contains examples of:
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9* ActionGirl: Danja
10* ActorAllusion: Creator/GeorgeLazenby playing [[Franchise/{{JamesBond}} a secret service agent]].
11* AlliterativeName: Danja Deering.
12* AndStarring: George Lazenby gets "Special Guest Star" billing in the opening credits.
13* ArtisticLicenceBiology: Intersex people can be born with a variety of biological traits typically associated with one biological sex or another. They are not, as Ragnar claims of himself, "half man, half woman".
14* AsianAndNerdy: Lance's friend Cliff who also invented among other things a flamethrower.
15* AttemptedRape: Implied; at one point, a mook (who is later revealed to be TheDragon) starts threatening Danja, and when she won't tell him what he wants to know, he starts ripping her shirt off. Luckily, Lance comes in to rescue her just in time.
16* CruelAndUnusualDeath: At one point, the villains have [[BadassInDistress kidnapped Danja]] and plan to burn her to death in an industrial oven. Lance saves her in time, and she is unharmed [[ConvectionSchmonvection even though the thermometer says it's over 500 degrees inside]].
17* DepravedBisexual: Ragnar is our villain, and is equally excited to stick his massive tongue down both Danja and Lance's throats.
18* DisneyVillainDeath: After [[spoiler:stabbing Ragnar [[HoistByHisOwnPetard with his own fingernail]]]], Lance chucks him off the top of a dam. We even get a PlummetPerspective.
19* EvilIsHammy: Ragnar is constantly doing a high pitched EvilLaugh and seems [[GenkiGuy really excited all the time for no apparent reason]].
20* EvilSoundsDeep: Ragnar's voice alternates between this when he talks normally and a CreepyHighPitchedVoice when he's excited.
21* FanDisservice: Gene Simmons in drag. Unless you're into that, in which case...
22* {{Fanservice}}: Gene Simmons in drag. Also Vanity.
23* FemmeFatalons: Ragnar has a ''really'' sharp fingernail he uses to kill multiple people. [[spoiler:At the end, Lance [[KarmicDeath stabs him in the neck with his own fingernail]].]]
24* ForTheEvulz: Ragnar admits he has no reason to do his evil other than he loves it.
25-->'''Ragnar:''' So you see? You can do bad things! And they don't come back to you!
26* {{Hermaphrodite}}: Velvet Von Ragnar is one, dressed in a dominatrix outfit. He also has a scene where he sings a song titled "It Takes a Man Like Me to Love a Woman Like Me".
27* ImpossiblyTackyClothes: At one point Cliff is seen wearing a hideous outfit consisting of a yellow top, dark green pants, and a red harness.
28* JustEatGilligan: For some reason none of the good guys think to just destroy the Ram-K once they have it instead of hiding it. There's not even a HandWave about how it's really important for something else so they can't just destroy it.
29* KillItWithFire: [[TheSmartGuy Cliff]] invents a flamethrower/rocket launcher called the fireblaster.
30* TheMole: Carruthers, Drew Stargrove's spy partner. This is revealed early in the film, so it's not a spoiler; the '''real''' spoiler is that [[spoiler:Carruthers is actually Ragnar in disguise]].
31* NoNameGiven: We never find out who the girl at the beginning who took the Ram-K is, although it's implied that she was Drew Stargrove's lover due to her wearing his symbol.
32* SissyVillain: Ragnar is both a terrorist leader and a DragQueen.
33* TitleDrop: Ragnar [[spoiler:not long before his DisneyVillainDeath]].
34* VillainSong: Ragnar's "It Takes a Man Like Me to Love a Woman Like Me" during the nightclub scene.
35* WaterSourceTampering: Ragnar's whole plan is use the Ram-K to poison the water supply with radioactive waste that will make it mutate all the local wildlife. At first, he plans to do this for money, but when he's almost beaten, he tries to do it anyway just ForTheEvulz.
36* WhamShot: [[spoiler: Carruthers pulling down his sunglasses to reveal ''Ragnar's'' eyeshadow.]]

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