Line #25 FanFic/TheCoolestEvilDumbledoreEver


1	''[[https://ficbook.net/readfic/589106 The Coolest Evil Dumbledore Ever]]'' is a ''Literature/HarryPotter'' ParodyFic gathering together all the stereotypes used in Evil Dumbledore fanfics. It's written in Russian by [[https://ficbook.net/authors/52963 d88]] and [[https://ficbook.net/authors/39449 Sky Lynx]].
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4	!! This fanfic contains examples of:
5	* AdaptationalHeroism:
6	** Fudge, who supported Harry and ended up being the most successful Minister in history.
7	** The Malfoys, who used to be good friends with Harry's parents and become practically family to Harry himself.
8	** Peter Pettigrew betrayed the Potters while under the Imperius Curse (cast by Dumbledore).
9	* AdaptationalVillainy: Dumbledore, most of the Order (including the Weasleys), and Neville are power-hungry, greedy and manipulative traitors.
10	* AsYouKnow: As befits a ParodyFic, lampshaded at every possible moment.
11	** Alastor Moody forgets some details from Dumbledore's plan, so that Dumbledore would explain them and the readers will know the plan too.
12	** Then, Blaise Zabini asks Draco, Harry and Hermione about their plan of exposing Dumbledore. Draco says there's something really wrong with Blaise's memory.
13	* AskAStupidQuestion: When a wandseller in a wand shop asks Draco what he wants to buy, Draco says "Three tequilas, and sparkling water for the guy in glasses, he's driving."
14	* AscendedExtra: Blaise Zabini. You might have never heard of him or thought he was a girl, but he's actually Draco's best friend.
15	* BabiesEverAfter: Harry ends up marrying Snape and having thirty babies. It's not made clear [[ArtisticLicenseBiology how]] exactly they manage it.
16	* BigBad: Dumbledore is everything an Evil!Dumbledore ought to be – he steals money from Harry and the Weasleys, he alone put Black in Azkaban, he made up the prophecy with Trelawney's help, and so on.
17	* BlueAndOrangeMorality: When Harry comes to murder Ollivander, the latter is absolutely mad at him... for not being able to pronounce Avada Kedavra properly and having to try it several times.
18	* CaptainObvious:
19	** In his opening term speech Dumbledore repeats that the name of the Forbidden Forest means it's forbidden to go there. He says he's tired of dozens of idiots who don't get the hint.
20	** Trelawney's real prophecy is kept in Dumbledore's study in a bottle labeled "[[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin The Real Prophecy]]".
21	* TheChosenWannabe: ''Neville'' of all people.
22	* ClicheStorm: Done deliberately InUniverse as the whole premise of the story.
23	* CondescendingCompassion. The narrators
24	-->Ron wasn't with them. He was still ill in the hospital wing after the brains' attack. After all, brains are entirely foreign to his body.
25	* CutHimselfShaving: When Harry touches Slytherin's sword, his fingers fall off. He gets promptly healed by Madam Pomfrey – after telling her he had only been a bit too energetic when biting his nails.
26	* DeadpanSnarker: Harry, especially when talking to his inner voices/other selves or to Chiefaccountant the goblin. Chiefaccountant himself. Draco too sometimes.
27	* DeathByAdaptation: Most of the Order, Ollivander, Kreacher, Ron, Neville.
28	* EasilyOverheardConversation:
29	** In the beginning Harry, Hermione, Draco and Blaise overhear Dumbledore, Alastor Moody and Arthur Weasley discussing their EvilPlan in Dumbledore's study.
30	** Then there's the plotting of Dumbledore, Molly and Ron, overheard by the twins.
31	** After overhearing that first one, with Moody and Arthur, the heroes realize it would be easy to eavesdrop on them if they discuss their plans right on the spot.
32	* EverythingExplodesEnding: Harry uses a bomb to finally get rid of the Order, the Death Eaters, and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Kreacher]] all at once.
33	* EvilLaugh: Dumbledore and his EvilMinions, namely Moody and Arthur Weasley. The "very-ungrandfatherly" laughter was the first thing that made Harry think something was wrong.
34	* GenreBlindness:
35	** Harry sometimes.
36	-->'''Harry''': Do I have a magical guardian?\
37	'''Chiefaccountant''': Of course you do, in this genre. In other fanfics this term's rare.
38	** Others, like Draco, also suffer from it.
39	-->'''Harry''': As for the Weasleys, their whole family's evil! Except for Fred and George: them I would trust. \
40	'''Draco''': How can you be sure they're good guys?\
41	'''Harry''': It's another stereotype.
42	* HeelFaceDoorSlam: All of a sudden, Dudley wants to make friends with Harry... but Harry doesn't. He sends the Dursley family away to an African resort, and later they are murdered by Dumbledore's minions.
43	* IdiotBall: Dumbledore's EvilGloating (overheard by Harry and Co.).
44	-->'''Dumbledore''': It's good Harry doesn't know we're just using him. It's good he doesn't know it was me who arranged for his parents' death. It's good he doesn't know Peter Pettigrew switched to Voldemort's side under Imperius. It's good he doesn't know it was me who put Black in Azkaban without a trial. It's good he doesn't know Sirius's death improved the situation for us. It's good he doesn't know I let him listen to a false prophecy. It's good he doesn't know we put Enmity Potion into his and Draco's food. It's good he doesn't know the Weasleys are only friendly with him for the money. It's good he doesn't know we plan to let him die. Finally, it's good he's not around here to hear me, or he ''would'' have found it all out.
45	* LemonyNarrator: The authors take it up to eleven.
46	-->Dumbledore was waiting for Harry in his office. Guess what he was doing? But of course he was having tea with lemon drops! Oh yes, in fanfics the headmaster's a great fan of tea. In canon, now there he was always busy with serious stuff, but here he always has time for tea.
47	* MagicMisfire: Draco makes Harry bald because the Enmity Potion is still working.
48	* MandatoryLine: Lampshaded and spoofed. The authors give Blaise Zabini some lines, because, as the narration helpfully says, he has to say ''something'' if he is in the plot at all.
49	* NiceJobFixingItVillain:
50	** When the Weasleys ask to legally adopt Harry, their petition is dealt with by Dolores Umbridge, who, still thinking that Harry likes the family, makes it an EpicFail.
51	** Voldemort orders Nagini to bite off Ron's head, because he doesn't know Ron is now Harry's deadly enemy.
52	* NoNameGiven: The Defense professor. We don't know either his/her looks, name, or even gender. The only thing known is that (s)he's a simple Auror.
53	* PhlebotinumInducedStupidity: Among the many many drugs that Dumbledore slipped into Harry's food, there is an Idiocy Potion.
54	* PunnyName: Harry's finances are managed by a goblin named Chiefaccountant.
55	* RunningGag:
56	** Lampshaded in the narration: in fanfics, Malfoy has to be called a ferret, so Ron does so constantly.
57	** Instead of saying hello, Snape says "Ten points from Gryffindor", and Trelawney says (to Harry) "You'll die soon!"
58	%%* SparedByAdaptation: Fred, Snape, and Voldemort.
59	* TakeThatScrappy: InUniverse. Harry thinks of sparing Pettigrew because the latter became a traitor under Imperius, but then kills him because nobody likes him anyway.
60	* TokenRomance: Draco and Hermione; Harry and Snape. We're informed of it in a very dry tone.
61	* UnexpectedInheritance: Upon visiting Gringotts Harry and Hermione find out they're descendants of dozens of pureblood families, thought to have died out, and that they are rolling in money.
62	* UnusualPetsForUnusualPeople: Harry decides having only an owl is not cool enough for him. He buys a cobra and later grows a basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets.
63	* UselessProtagonist:
64	** Blaise Zabini is there because he just is. Later on he gets OutOfFocus more and more.
65	** Draco and Hermione too: after supplying Harry with lots of advice in the first chapters they become a couple and are therefore too preoccupied to do anything for the plot.
66	* ViolationOfCommonSense: That's what the fic is all about.
67	-->'''Harry''': I used to be quite lazy. I didn't think I needed to do high magic. I was only going to fight the most dangerous wizard alive, so what? Expelliarmus is enough. But now it's different. I've got to master Occlumency, and Legilimency, and Apparition, and Animagic, and Nonverbals, and tons of Battle Charms, especially the Dark ones. Oh, and I'll finally read ''Hogwarts: A History''.
68	* WhiteSheep: Fred and George, the only good Weasleys.

Context FanFic / TheCoolestEvilDumbledoreEver