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1''Homestuck high'' (note capitalisation) is an infamous TrollFic, in the {{Webcomic/Homestuck}} fandom ([[InNameOnly allegedly]]). It begins as a fairly bizarre but innocuous HighSchoolAU, in which John and Gamzee compete to take Rose to the Spring Fling. Then it gets [[{{Understatement}} weird]]. Of course, this fanfic has gained infamy with even the biggest fans of the original webcomic--not only due to its generally poor quality, but because it has [[InNameOnly very little to do with anything or anyone in Homestuck itself]].²²After a year long hiatus, during which time it was presumed by many to be a DeadFic, ''Homestuck high'' finally updated with Chapter 9. However, the fic was officially [[OrphanedSeries discontinued]] on its fourth anniversary, when the author posted a lengthy addendum confirming the story's status as a TrollFic and explaining why it would no longer be updated.²²Compare ''Fanfic/MyImmortal'', ''FanFic/DaveStdiderPokemonTraner'', ''FanFic/TarvosAndFairieALoveStory'' and ''FanFic/LearningAndSburbing''.²²As of May 9, 2020, the fic has been removed by the author from Fanfiction.net. However, it has not been lost, thanks to it [[https://mega.nz/file/KYMTkY6R#a1upWu87L6BhlWu0i0SAGsElT_nAIzSDdG5HWN9Hejw having been archived]] in various locations across the web.²----²!!Provides examples of:²* AdaptationalSexuality: ²** John (who states in canon that he is "not a homosexual") has a threesome with Gamzee and Karkat at one point. To be fair, though, he's still [[ExactWords technically not a homosexual]]...²** Kanaya (a lesbian in canon) makes out with John's Dad in chapter nine. This is probably the ''least'' weird part of the fanfic at that point.²* AllJustADream: The original chapter 10 was to reveal that everything after chapter 1 was thought up by Karkat while he was in his coma.²* AlphaBitch: Rose.²--> "Hi rose" [John] said blankly²-->"What do you want loser" [Rose] replied coldly²-->"I wanted to know if you wanted to go to the dance with me?" John said²-->"Ok" Rose said "But if someone hotter than you asks me then im gonna go with them"²-->"Thats ok" John said²* ArtifactTitle / InNameOnly / NonindicativeName: Both words of the title. It has nothing to do with Homestuck except for characters' names, and only the first chapter has anything to do with high school, [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs though the second word may be accurate in a different sense]].²* ArtisticLicenseBiology: Jade gives birth to triplets after a mere two weeks of pregnancy, and each child has a different father. Possible, but very unlikely. (The part about each child having a different father, that is, not the two-week gestation.)²* BattleOfTheBands: Eridan defeats demon!Sollux in a musician's duel. Later on in Chapter 9, there is set-up for a climactic final battle between Dave's band and Sollux, but we never get to see it due to the fic's [[NoEnding lack of conclusion]].²* BigBad: Sollux, [[InformedFlaw apparently]].²* {{Cliffhanger}}: At the end of nearly every chapter.²* CompositeCharacter: Tavros is now simply Karkat suffering amnesia after a botched suicide attempt. There's also Eridan and John, as elaborated below.²* CostumePorn: In the first couple of chapters, as part of the usual bad HighSchoolAU schtick; Rose wears a leather bikini.²* CrackFic²* DeusExMachina: Nepeta suddenly showing up to help Rose while the latter is trapped in Sollux's lair. (Sort of. All she really does is give Rose a lockpick and [[NauseaFuel get some crows to feed her maggots]].)²* DramaticReading: Can be found [[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYRgitUcrsIZDhTvK4Xka60NxrsFCmSpM here]]. Alternatively, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0ce9Zk_sL8 this one]] or [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKfobnF9RI8 this one]].²* DreamWalker: Aradia being this is probably the only thing the fanfiction gets right. Too bad she only appears once.²* DullSurprise: The characters respond to most of the crazy happenings with nothing more than "oh okay".²* EveryoneIsBi: Oh yeah. And this is the ''least'' weird thing about the fanfic.²* ExtremeDoormat: John.²* ExtremeOmnivore: Vriska eats napkins and continues to do so after she finds out that Jade ''[[{{Squick}} peed on them]]''.²* FatBastard: Demon!Sollux "probably had fifteen girths", whatever that means.²* FirstPersonPerspective: Chapter 7 is the only chapter written in first-person.²* GirlOnGirlIsHot: The reason why John is okay with Rose having a thing for Jade.²* {{Hammerspace}}: Eridan is able to put his guitar in his pocket.²* HeirClubForMen: Of the three triplets Jade gives birth to, the girl is the only one that is biologically Dave's child, while the two boys are Sollux and Tavros's sons respectively. Dave finds this very distressing.²* HenshinHero: John is granted the power to turn into Eridan by Aradia.²* HeterosexualLifePartners: Dave and Karkat, [[InformedAttribute supposedly]].²* HighHeelFaceTurn: Nepeta, who was working with Sollux for some reason and then decided to go with Rose when she [[StrangledByTheRedString suddenly falls in love with her]].²* HighSchoolAU: It starts out as one, anyway.²* {{Hypocrite}}: After declaring "gay stuff" to be "gross", the author writes the heroes engaging in a detailed albeit confusing gay threesome.²* IKEAErotica: The John/Rose sex scene, as well as the John/Tavros/Gamzee sex scene.²* InformedAttribute: Dave and Vriska apparently [[ReallyGetsAround really get around]], including [[CrackPairing with each other]], and Dave is into virgins.²* InsaneTrollLogic: For the simplest example, we have John falling for Rose after she bit his arm, broke his glasses and made him cry. True love right there!²* LeftHanging: The fic ended prematurely, leaving all of its plots and subplots unresolved.²* LoveDodecahedron: Gamzee and John both like Rose, whose first love was Karkat, who then became Tavros and slept with Jade, who is dating Dave but has also been impregnated by Sollux, who may or may not have also impregnated Rose using John as a proxy. Furthermore, Vriska has a crush on Dave, Jade and Rose have feelings for each other ([[UnreliableNarrator according to John]]), and John finds Karkat attractive and ends up having sex with both Gamzee and Tavros ([[ThreeWaySex at the same time]]).²* LoveTriangle: Subverted; John/Rose/Gamzee, Jade/Dave/Vriska and Karkat/Jade/Dave are all set up but none of them go anywhere.²* MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext: i.e. none.²* MundaneMadeAwesome: John develops magical powers because of a blast of dark magic which comes out of a ''[=McDonald's=] burger.''²* NoEnding²* OfficialCouple: John/Rose and Dave/Jade. Both couples have [[StrangledByTheRedString the red string tied so tightly around their necks, that it's a miracle that they're still breathing]]. The LoveDodecahedron described above does not help matters.²* OffstageVillainy: Subverted. Sollux is supposed to be the single most evil being on the planet, yet in his first few appearances his "evil deeds" are only ever talked about rather than shown. Then in Chapter 8 it's revealed that his evil lair [[{{Squick}} has a whole bunch of mutilated corpses hanging from the ceiling]].²* ObviouslyEvil: Sollux.²-->They turned their sweaty heads to see Jade struggling in the grasp of a man who looked more evil than ANY other man they had seen.²* OneWingedAngel: Eridan is now John's demonic battle form, into which he transforms by putting on a pair of plastic horns. Eridan claims that while he inhabits the body John's soul is trapped in Hell; nobody seems overly concerned, when John returns to normal he is unhurt, and this is never mentioned again.²* OurGeniesAreDifferent: Aradia, who apparently has the ability to give people demonic powers through hamburger-induced {{Dream Sequence}}s.²* OutOfCharacter: ''Everyone.''²* PerkyGoth: Gamzee, for some some reason.²* ThePowerOfRock: This is apparently how Sollux and his equally evil brother [[Music/{{Skrillex}} Skrollux]] can be defeated.²* PurpleProse:²-->"I lust johnatan NOT YOU!" she eviscerated softly wilst she cries the velvit tears odf the mennopauses that climacate from the ruens of the reched pedimeants of life.²* RandomEventsPlot: Not a single thing in the entire fic makes any sense at all.²* ReallyGetsAround: Dave and Vriska, apparently.²* RockMeAsmodeus: The duel.²* RougeAnglesOfSatin²* SplitPersonality: Karkat and Tavros, and [[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation possibly]] John and Eridan as well.²* SuperpoweredEvilSide: Eridan is a non-villainous example.²* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: The narrator claims that Dave and Karkat were best friends and "did lots of things together", but "no gay stuff tho! that's gross!"²* TeenPregnancy: Jade gets pregnant by Dave, Karkat, and Sollux. At the same time.²* TrollFic: Confirmed in chapter 10, which is less a chapter and more a lengthy author's note explaining everything.²* UnexplainedRecovery: Gamzee says that Karkat has killed himself; he turns out to actually be alive, albeit injured. The presumed suicide attempt never comes up again.²* WhatDoesHeSeeInHer: John has liked Rose ever since she [[SlapSlapKiss bit him and broke his glasses in second grade]], and when he tells her he loves her she declares herself to be in lust with him.²* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: So what happened to Karkat's suicide attempt and why did he want to kill himself in the first place?²----

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