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* A rare justified version in ''Literature/Murmuration'': Greg and Jenny have been having marital issues ever since the death of their infant daughter, though Greg-- whose father was abusive-- makes sure he never raises a hand against Jenny. Finally, Greg makes the decision to leave Jenny-- the same time she decides to murder him. She comes at him with a knife and he decks her in self defense, then hysterically wonders why she made him do that; refusing to hit his wife had been one of the standards he'd kept himself to in order to not become his father, and he's genuinely distraught that he's broken it, even as Jenny comes back at him with the knife again.
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** Marco Inaros uses this against Naomi multiple times though notably, she consistently sees through this. The most blatant example is him claiming that she had forced him to kill Holden after she had warned Holden of a prior attempt on his life, claiming said attempt was not lethal (the reader already knows the facts used were false).
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Changed line(s) 10,11 (click to see context) from:
* The first book of ''Literature/CodexAlera'' refers to this with the abusive father Kord. When he gets called out on beating his son by someone else, he says "I get mad. He understands." We never see the son's opinion of this, but since he openly admits that he only obeys his father out of fear, it's unlikely there's been much emotional manipulation. However, in a possible subversion of this trope, Kord doesn't even try to justify his other crimes; unlike most examples of this trope, his treatment of his son is a comparatively minor thing, as he is an out-an-out murderer, rapist, and slaver, and though he does put extra effort into tormenting those he feels have wronged him in some way, he doesn't have the intelligence to construct any sort of argument justifying himself (even as flimsy a one as this trope), nor does he try to.
* ''Literature/EndersGame'': Ender, of all people, has shades of this, but it’s justified by the fact that he really *wouldn’t* have hurt his fellow students if they just left him alone. It’s more of a technical example (he very nearly says the trope’s name verbatim) though.
* ''Literature/EndersGame'': Ender, of all people, has shades of this, but it’s justified by the fact that he really *wouldn’t* have hurt his fellow students if they just left him alone. It’s more of a technical example (he very nearly says the trope’s name verbatim) though.
to:
* The In the first book of ''Literature/CodexAlera'' refers to this with ''Literature/CodexAlera'', when the abusive father Kord. When he Kord gets called out on beating his son by someone else, he says "I get mad. He understands." We never see the son's opinion of this, but since he openly admits that he only obeys his father out of fear, it's unlikely there's been much emotional manipulation. However, in a possible subversion of this trope, Kord doesn't even try to justify his other crimes; unlike most examples of this trope, his treatment of his son is a comparatively minor thing, as he is an out-an-out murderer, rapist, and slaver, and though he does put extra effort into tormenting those he feels have wronged him in some way, he doesn't have the intelligence to construct any sort of argument justifying himself (even as flimsy a one as this trope), nor does he try to.
* %%* ''Literature/EndersGame'': Ender, of all people, has shades of this, but it’s justified by the fact that he really *wouldn’t* have hurt his fellow students if they just left him alone. It’s more of a technical example (he very nearly says the trope’s name verbatim) though. %%Example doesn't explain what Ender has shades of.
* The Laconian Empire from ''Literature/TheExpanse'' doesn't just have a fleet of powerful warships that can [[NighInvulnerable casually shrug off the total firepower of two fleets combined]], they also have Anton Trejo, an affably looking admiral who paints the massive devastation he authorizes -- or threatens with -- as a tragedy that only happens because Laconia's opponents don't appreciate all the good intentions the High Consul has for humanity. One character in ''Leviathan Falls'' even compares Laconian forces to an abuser who burdens their partner with responsibility for abuser's own bad behaviour [[spoiler:when Laconia holds an entire colony world hostage for one of their stolen warships (even guilt-tripping with a video of a young colonist) and Teresa says agreeing to their terms would save the colonists' lives]].
* The Laconian Empire from ''Literature/TheExpanse'' doesn't just have a fleet of powerful warships that can [[NighInvulnerable casually shrug off the total firepower of two fleets combined]], they also have Anton Trejo, an affably looking admiral who paints the massive devastation he authorizes -- or threatens with -- as a tragedy that only happens because Laconia's opponents don't appreciate all the good intentions the High Consul has for humanity. One character in ''Leviathan Falls'' even compares Laconian forces to an abuser who burdens their partner with responsibility for abuser's own bad behaviour [[spoiler:when Laconia holds an entire colony world hostage for one of their stolen warships (even guilt-tripping with a video of a young colonist) and Teresa says agreeing to their terms would save the colonists' lives]].
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* Occurs in the movie/book ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheOrderOfThePhoenix'', where Harry is in detention with Umbridge and she makes him write "I must not tell lies" over and over again with an enchanted quill which carves the phrase into the back of Harry's hand as he writes, simultaneously using his own blood as ink. Harry stares at this in disbelief as she asks him with a warning tone, "Yes?". He backs down and says, "Nothing." to which she replies, "That's right, because you know that deep down, you deserve to be punished, don't you, Mr. Potter?" Jeez, not one for subtlety, is she?
** Oddly, she's sort of correct--he knows damn well ''she'' doesn't have any right to punish him, especially not for the reasons she cites, and doesn't particularly think this is correct or that just plain suffering is a ''good'' idea, but between his abusive childhood and his experiences being expected to be TheHero, he only seems to have positive self-esteem when he's going through something hellish for day-saving reasons-- otherwise he's pretty insecure. Which is probably why he doesn't try harder to get some other authority figure to intervene--that and his justified conviction that no one ever comes to save him from abuse.
** Oddly, she's sort of correct--he knows damn well ''she'' doesn't have any right to punish him, especially not for the reasons she cites, and doesn't particularly think this is correct or that just plain suffering is a ''good'' idea, but between his abusive childhood and his experiences being expected to be TheHero, he only seems to have positive self-esteem when he's going through something hellish for day-saving reasons-- otherwise he's pretty insecure. Which is probably why he doesn't try harder to get some other authority figure to intervene--that and his justified conviction that no one ever comes to save him from abuse.
to:
* Occurs in the movie/book In ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheOrderOfThePhoenix'', where Harry is in detention with Umbridge and she makes him Harry write "I must not tell lies" over and over again during detention, with an enchanted quill which carves the phrase into the back of Harry's hand as he writes, simultaneously using his own blood as ink. Harry stares at this in disbelief as she asks him with a warning tone, "Yes?". He backs down and says, "Nothing." to which she replies, "That's right, because you know that deep down, you deserve to be punished, don't you, Mr. Potter?" Jeez, not one for subtlety, is she?
**Oddly, she's sort of correct--he knows damn well ''she'' doesn't have any right to punish him, especially not for the reasons she cites, and doesn't particularly think this is correct or that just plain suffering is a ''good'' idea, but between his abusive childhood and his experiences being expected to be TheHero, he only seems to have positive self-esteem when he's going through something hellish for day-saving reasons-- otherwise he's pretty insecure. Which is probably why he doesn't try harder to get some other authority figure to intervene--that and his justified conviction that no one ever comes to save him from abuse.
* ''Literature/{{IT}}'' has Beverly's abusive husband, who violently punishes her for smoking next to him. Later on in their relationship, as he prepares to beat her he talks about how he ''has'' to give her a "whuppin'" for her (perfectly normal) behaviour, saying "sorry about that, Bev". This has been so ingrained into her that when she finally (and violently) leaves him and talks to her friend about the fight they had, Beverly starts to say how it was her fault only for her friend to immediately call her out on it and demand that she stop blaming herself for her husband's abuse.
**
* ''Literature/{{IT}}'' has Beverly's abusive husband, who violently punishes her for smoking next to him. Later on in their relationship, as he prepares to beat her he talks about how he ''has'' to give her a "whuppin'" for her (perfectly normal) behaviour, saying "sorry about that, Bev". This has been so ingrained into her that when she finally (and violently) leaves him and talks to her friend about the fight they had, Beverly starts to say how it was her fault only for her friend to immediately call her out on it and demand that she stop blaming herself for her husband's abuse.
Changed line(s) 16,21 (click to see context) from:
* A particularly dark example in ''Literature/TheKid'': one of the [[PedophilePriest Pedophile Priests]] at the protagonist's orphanage says a variant of this after attacking the protagonist for disobedience.
* Creator/JacquelineWilson's ''Literature/LolaRose'': Lola's mother is due to go to the hospital for an operation. The night before, she drinks heavily while her daughter tries to stop her. After being ignored, Lola accidentally-on-purpose drops the bottle of alcohol. Her mother belts her across the face, then they both burst out crying. May well be [[JustifiedTrope justified]] in this case, since the operation is for breast cancer, putting everyone in the family under extreme stress.
* In the Creator/StephenKing book ''Misery'', Annie Wilkes pulls this on protagonist Paul Sheldon. Just replace "hit" with [[AxeCrazy "chop off foot with axe and cauterize the wound with a blowtorch"]].
** Generally, this is one of Stephen King's favorite tropes. For example, ''IT'' has Beverly's abusive husband, who violently punishes her for smoking next to him. Later on in their relationship, as he prepares to beat her he talks about how he ''has'' to give her a "whuppin'" for her (perfectly normal) behaviour, saying "sorry about that, Bev". This has been so ingrained into her that when she finally (and violently) leaves him and talks to her friend about the fight they had, Beverly starts to say how it was her fault only for her friend to immediately call her out on it and demand that she stop blaming herself for her husband's abuse.
* In the S.E. Hinton book ''Literature/TheOutsiders'' After Ponyboy yells "YOU DON'T YELL AT HIM!" at Darry for yelling at Soda, Darry inadvertently slaps Pony against the door. Darry looks at his hand, then looks at Ponyboy. All three brothers are shocked. Darry then says, "Ponyboy!" And as Pony is charging out the door, Darry yells in a desperate attempt to get him back inside the house, "Ponyboy, I didn't mean to--" and the youngest one disappears.
** More PlayedWith than anything else, as Darry attempts to alleviate some of his blame, not by shifting the blame to Ponyboy, but by making the situation seem like an accident or an involuntary reaction. Ponyboy is never seen by the narrative or by the characters to be anything but in the right here.
* Creator/JacquelineWilson's ''Literature/LolaRose'': Lola's mother is due to go to the hospital for an operation. The night before, she drinks heavily while her daughter tries to stop her. After being ignored, Lola accidentally-on-purpose drops the bottle of alcohol. Her mother belts her across the face, then they both burst out crying. May well be [[JustifiedTrope justified]] in this case, since the operation is for breast cancer, putting everyone in the family under extreme stress.
* In the Creator/StephenKing book ''Misery'', Annie Wilkes pulls this on protagonist Paul Sheldon. Just replace "hit" with [[AxeCrazy "chop off foot with axe and cauterize the wound with a blowtorch"]].
** Generally, this is one of Stephen King's favorite tropes. For example, ''IT'' has Beverly's abusive husband, who violently punishes her for smoking next to him. Later on in their relationship, as he prepares to beat her he talks about how he ''has'' to give her a "whuppin'" for her (perfectly normal) behaviour, saying "sorry about that, Bev". This has been so ingrained into her that when she finally (and violently) leaves him and talks to her friend about the fight they had, Beverly starts to say how it was her fault only for her friend to immediately call her out on it and demand that she stop blaming herself for her husband's abuse.
* In the S.E. Hinton book ''Literature/TheOutsiders'' After Ponyboy yells "YOU DON'T YELL AT HIM!" at Darry for yelling at Soda, Darry inadvertently slaps Pony against the door. Darry looks at his hand, then looks at Ponyboy. All three brothers are shocked. Darry then says, "Ponyboy!" And as Pony is charging out the door, Darry yells in a desperate attempt to get him back inside the house, "Ponyboy, I didn't mean to--" and the youngest one disappears.
** More PlayedWith than anything else, as Darry attempts to alleviate some of his blame, not by shifting the blame to Ponyboy, but by making the situation seem like an accident or an involuntary reaction. Ponyboy is never seen by the narrative or by the characters to be anything but in the right here.
to:
* Creator/JacquelineWilson's ''Literature/LolaRose'': Lola's mother is due to go to the hospital for an operation. The night before, she drinks heavily while her daughter tries to stop her. After being ignored, Lola accidentally-on-purpose drops the bottle of alcohol. Her mother belts her across the face, then they both burst out crying. May well be
** Generally, this
* In the S.E. Hinton book
** More
Changed line(s) 23,24 (click to see context) from:
* Occurs in the first book in Lemony Snicket's ''Literature/ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents'' in which the Baudelaires are forced to cook dinner for their horrible guardian Count Olaf and his entire theater troupe. Once they finish, Count Olaf yells at them for forgetting to cook roast beef, and out of spite he and his troupe don't eat the food that the children worked so hard to prepare. He then tells them to clean up the kitchen and go to bed. At this, Klaus yells, "You have only provided us with one bed!" which, in turn, rouses Count Olaf's temper and he says they should buy another bed. Klaus tells him that the only money they have is the Baudelaire fortune, which is not to be used until Violet is of age. Count Olaf grows red with anger and strikes Klaus across the face. His theater troupe applauds and laughs at Klaus as they leave with Count Olaf, which firmly implies that they are proud of Count Olaf for hitting Klaus and that Count Olaf felt like Klaus definitely deserved it.
** His actions towards the Baudelaires throughout the course of the rest of the book and the rest of the series plays out in a very similar and cruel fashion. Oddly enough, he never physically strikes any of them again.
** His actions towards the Baudelaires throughout the course of the rest of the book and the rest of the series plays out in a very similar and cruel fashion. Oddly enough, he never physically strikes any of them again.
to:
* Occurs in In the first book in Lemony Snicket's ''Literature/ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents'' in which ''Literature/ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents'', the Baudelaires are forced to cook dinner for their horrible guardian Count Olaf and his entire theater troupe. Once they finish, Count Olaf yells at them for forgetting to cook roast beef, and out of spite he and his troupe don't eat the food that the children worked so hard to prepare. He then tells them to clean up the kitchen and go to bed. At this, Klaus yells, "You have only provided us with one bed!" which, in turn, rouses Count Olaf's temper and he says they should buy another bed. Klaus tells him that the only money they have is the Baudelaire fortune, which is not to be used until Violet is of age. Count Olaf grows red with anger and strikes Klaus across the face. His theater troupe applauds and laughs at Klaus as they leave with Count Olaf, which firmly implies that they are proud of Count Olaf for hitting Klaus and that Count Olaf felt like Klaus definitely deserved it.
**it. His actions towards the Baudelaires throughout the course of the rest of the book and the rest of the series plays out in a very similar and cruel fashion. Oddly enough, he never physically strikes any of them again.
**
Changed line(s) 29,33 (click to see context) from:
* [[Literature/TessOfTheDurbervilles Alec D'Urberville]] is not above playing this card. Except he plays it as "[[RapeAsDrama Why did you make me lust after you?]]"
* This is part of what Nero does to Meg in ''Literature/TheTrialsOfApollo''. He warns her that [[SuperpoweredEvilSide The Beast]] will come out if she doesn't behave and that it was The Beast (and not him) who killed her biological father.
* In ''Literature/TheTwilightSaga'' Emily refuses to return Sam's affection. He eventually loses his temper, becomes a [[OurWerewolvesAreDifferent wolf]], and claws half her face off. He then feels so bad about what he did that she decides to accept his love. Christ, those books are messed up...
** And let's not go into all the emotional abuse between Edward and Bella. "Do you want to start a war" indeed.
* This is part of what Nero does to Meg in ''Literature/TheTrialsOfApollo''. He warns her that [[SuperpoweredEvilSide The Beast]] will come out if she doesn't behave and that it was The Beast (and not him) who killed her biological father.
* In ''Literature/TheTwilightSaga'' Emily refuses to return Sam's affection. He eventually loses his temper, becomes a [[OurWerewolvesAreDifferent wolf]], and claws half her face off. He then feels so bad about what he did that she decides to accept his love. Christ, those books are messed up...
** And let's not go into all the emotional abuse between Edward and Bella. "Do you want to start a war" indeed.
to:
* This
* In ''Literature/TheTrialsOfApollo'', Nero
* In
**
%%** And let's not go into all the emotional abuse between Edward and Bella. "Do you want to start a war"
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%% This page has been alphabetized. Please add new examples in the correct order. Thanks!
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Times where manipulators ask "WhyDidYouMakeMeHitYou" in {{Literature}}.
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* In ''Literature/ABrothersPrice'', Keifer caused a lot of damage to his young wife Trini before his oldest wife came in and interrupted. He'd charmed her thoroughly and she loved him, so when he turned up the sweetness on Eldest and said he was sorry and didn't really mean it, she believed him, and cleaned up Trini and half-convinced her it was all her fault before their mothers saw her.
* The first book of ''Literature/CodexAlera'' refers to this with the abusive father Kord. When he gets called out on beating his son by someone else, he says "I get mad. He understands." We never see the son's opinion of this, but since he openly admits that he only obeys his father out of fear, it's unlikely there's been much emotional manipulation. However, in a possible subversion of this trope, Kord doesn't even try to justify his other crimes; unlike most examples of this trope, his treatment of his son is a comparatively minor thing, as he is an out-an-out murderer, rapist, and slaver, and though he does put extra effort into tormenting those he feels have wronged him in some way, he doesn't have the intelligence to construct any sort of argument justifying himself (even as flimsy a one as this trope), nor does he try to.
* ''Literature/EndersGame'': Ender, of all people, has shades of this, but it’s justified by the fact that he really *wouldn’t* have hurt his fellow students if they just left him alone. It’s more of a technical example (he very nearly says the trope’s name verbatim) though.
* ''Literature/FaultLine'': Kip tries to grab Becky during an argument, but he instead rips one of her ''earrings'' out. His response? "Look what you made me do!"
* Occurs in the movie/book ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheOrderOfThePhoenix'', where Harry is in detention with Umbridge and she makes him write "I must not tell lies" over and over again with an enchanted quill which carves the phrase into the back of Harry's hand as he writes, simultaneously using his own blood as ink. Harry stares at this in disbelief as she asks him with a warning tone, "Yes?". He backs down and says, "Nothing." to which she replies, "That's right, because you know that deep down, you deserve to be punished, don't you, Mr. Potter?" Jeez, not one for subtlety, is she?
** Oddly, she's sort of correct--he knows damn well ''she'' doesn't have any right to punish him, especially not for the reasons she cites, and doesn't particularly think this is correct or that just plain suffering is a ''good'' idea, but between his abusive childhood and his experiences being expected to be TheHero, he only seems to have positive self-esteem when he's going through something hellish for day-saving reasons-- otherwise he's pretty insecure. Which is probably why he doesn't try harder to get some other authority figure to intervene--that and his justified conviction that no one ever comes to save him from abuse.
* ''Literature/TheLegendOfDrizzt'': Most interactions between Herzgo Alegni and Barrabus the Gray in ''Literature/TheNeverwinterSaga'' smack of this. Whenever Alegni perceives he has been slighted by Barrabus, he rings a magical tuning fork on Claw's blade that causes him agony - all the while lamenting how Barrabus' behaviour forces him to do this.
* A particularly dark example in ''Literature/TheKid'': one of the [[PedophilePriest Pedophile Priests]] at the protagonist's orphanage says a variant of this after attacking the protagonist for disobedience.
* Creator/JacquelineWilson's ''Literature/LolaRose'': Lola's mother is due to go to the hospital for an operation. The night before, she drinks heavily while her daughter tries to stop her. After being ignored, Lola accidentally-on-purpose drops the bottle of alcohol. Her mother belts her across the face, then they both burst out crying. May well be [[JustifiedTrope justified]] in this case, since the operation is for breast cancer, putting everyone in the family under extreme stress.
* In the Creator/StephenKing book ''Misery'', Annie Wilkes pulls this on protagonist Paul Sheldon. Just replace "hit" with [[AxeCrazy "chop off foot with axe and cauterize the wound with a blowtorch"]].
** Generally, this is one of Stephen King's favorite tropes. For example, ''IT'' has Beverly's abusive husband, who violently punishes her for smoking next to him. Later on in their relationship, as he prepares to beat her he talks about how he ''has'' to give her a "whuppin'" for her (perfectly normal) behaviour, saying "sorry about that, Bev". This has been so ingrained into her that when she finally (and violently) leaves him and talks to her friend about the fight they had, Beverly starts to say how it was her fault only for her friend to immediately call her out on it and demand that she stop blaming herself for her husband's abuse.
* In the S.E. Hinton book ''Literature/TheOutsiders'' After Ponyboy yells "YOU DON'T YELL AT HIM!" at Darry for yelling at Soda, Darry inadvertently slaps Pony against the door. Darry looks at his hand, then looks at Ponyboy. All three brothers are shocked. Darry then says, "Ponyboy!" And as Pony is charging out the door, Darry yells in a desperate attempt to get him back inside the house, "Ponyboy, I didn't mean to--" and the youngest one disappears.
** More PlayedWith than anything else, as Darry attempts to alleviate some of his blame, not by shifting the blame to Ponyboy, but by making the situation seem like an accident or an involuntary reaction. Ponyboy is never seen by the narrative or by the characters to be anything but in the right here.
* Lorraine's mother pulls this in ''Literature/ThePigman'' over Lorraine being involved in a WildTeenParty. She hits her, scolds her, and makes her feel like total trash for daring to have a good time, then starts sobbing about how it makes ''her'' feel. She never apologizes to Lorraine, either.
* Occurs in the first book in Lemony Snicket's ''Literature/ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents'' in which the Baudelaires are forced to cook dinner for their horrible guardian Count Olaf and his entire theater troupe. Once they finish, Count Olaf yells at them for forgetting to cook roast beef, and out of spite he and his troupe don't eat the food that the children worked so hard to prepare. He then tells them to clean up the kitchen and go to bed. At this, Klaus yells, "You have only provided us with one bed!" which, in turn, rouses Count Olaf's temper and he says they should buy another bed. Klaus tells him that the only money they have is the Baudelaire fortune, which is not to be used until Violet is of age. Count Olaf grows red with anger and strikes Klaus across the face. His theater troupe applauds and laughs at Klaus as they leave with Count Olaf, which firmly implies that they are proud of Count Olaf for hitting Klaus and that Count Olaf felt like Klaus definitely deserved it.
** His actions towards the Baudelaires throughout the course of the rest of the book and the rest of the series plays out in a very similar and cruel fashion. Oddly enough, he never physically strikes any of them again.
* In ''Literature/ShadowOfTheConqueror,'' after Sharra reminds Daylen of his worst memories by trying to seduce him, he wakes up in a murderously bad mood, and snaps Sain's arm like a chicken bone for ''literally'' setting a foot out of line.[[note]]Yes, literally. He stepped out of the five-meter radius that Daylen ordered him to stay in.[[/note]] Daylen's explanation:
-->'''Daylen:''' "I told him what would happen. So actually, he broke his own arm."
* ''Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire'': Daenerys Targaryen was on the constant receiving end of this from her abusive older brother, Viserys, when she grew up. Viserys warned Daenerys to always follow his wishes, or else he would hit her repeatedly, which he justified as her waking "the dragon" in him. At the start of the series, Daenerys still fears her brother to some extent, but her marriage to Khal Drogo, as her as well integration to the Dothraki way of life, cause her to [[GrewASpine stand up to him]], as she realizes that Viserys has no leverage against her beyond his empty threats.
* Creator/JacquelineWilson's ''Literature/TheSuitcaseKid'': Andy is extremely late coming home from school after she decides that she can't stand her dysfunctional family life. Her mother slaps her when she finally does come home, bursts into tears, and lays an enormous guilt trip on Andy, despite the fact that her mother's emotional manipulation, ParentalFavoritism towards her new boyfriend's children, and general lack of concern for Andy's best interests go a long-term way towards explaining why Andy didn't want to come home in the first place.
* [[Literature/TessOfTheDurbervilles Alec D'Urberville]] is not above playing this card. Except he plays it as "[[RapeAsDrama Why did you make me lust after you?]]"
* This is part of what Nero does to Meg in ''Literature/TheTrialsOfApollo''. He warns her that [[SuperpoweredEvilSide The Beast]] will come out if she doesn't behave and that it was The Beast (and not him) who killed her biological father.
* In ''Literature/TheTwilightSaga'' Emily refuses to return Sam's affection. He eventually loses his temper, becomes a [[OurWerewolvesAreDifferent wolf]], and claws half her face off. He then feels so bad about what he did that she decides to accept his love. Christ, those books are messed up...
** And let's not go into all the emotional abuse between Edward and Bella. "Do you want to start a war" indeed.
----
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%% This page has been alphabetized. Please add new examples in the correct order. Thanks!
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Times where manipulators ask "WhyDidYouMakeMeHitYou" in {{Literature}}.
----
* In ''Literature/ABrothersPrice'', Keifer caused a lot of damage to his young wife Trini before his oldest wife came in and interrupted. He'd charmed her thoroughly and she loved him, so when he turned up the sweetness on Eldest and said he was sorry and didn't really mean it, she believed him, and cleaned up Trini and half-convinced her it was all her fault before their mothers saw her.
* The first book of ''Literature/CodexAlera'' refers to this with the abusive father Kord. When he gets called out on beating his son by someone else, he says "I get mad. He understands." We never see the son's opinion of this, but since he openly admits that he only obeys his father out of fear, it's unlikely there's been much emotional manipulation. However, in a possible subversion of this trope, Kord doesn't even try to justify his other crimes; unlike most examples of this trope, his treatment of his son is a comparatively minor thing, as he is an out-an-out murderer, rapist, and slaver, and though he does put extra effort into tormenting those he feels have wronged him in some way, he doesn't have the intelligence to construct any sort of argument justifying himself (even as flimsy a one as this trope), nor does he try to.
* ''Literature/EndersGame'': Ender, of all people, has shades of this, but it’s justified by the fact that he really *wouldn’t* have hurt his fellow students if they just left him alone. It’s more of a technical example (he very nearly says the trope’s name verbatim) though.
* ''Literature/FaultLine'': Kip tries to grab Becky during an argument, but he instead rips one of her ''earrings'' out. His response? "Look what you made me do!"
* Occurs in the movie/book ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheOrderOfThePhoenix'', where Harry is in detention with Umbridge and she makes him write "I must not tell lies" over and over again with an enchanted quill which carves the phrase into the back of Harry's hand as he writes, simultaneously using his own blood as ink. Harry stares at this in disbelief as she asks him with a warning tone, "Yes?". He backs down and says, "Nothing." to which she replies, "That's right, because you know that deep down, you deserve to be punished, don't you, Mr. Potter?" Jeez, not one for subtlety, is she?
** Oddly, she's sort of correct--he knows damn well ''she'' doesn't have any right to punish him, especially not for the reasons she cites, and doesn't particularly think this is correct or that just plain suffering is a ''good'' idea, but between his abusive childhood and his experiences being expected to be TheHero, he only seems to have positive self-esteem when he's going through something hellish for day-saving reasons-- otherwise he's pretty insecure. Which is probably why he doesn't try harder to get some other authority figure to intervene--that and his justified conviction that no one ever comes to save him from abuse.
* ''Literature/TheLegendOfDrizzt'': Most interactions between Herzgo Alegni and Barrabus the Gray in ''Literature/TheNeverwinterSaga'' smack of this. Whenever Alegni perceives he has been slighted by Barrabus, he rings a magical tuning fork on Claw's blade that causes him agony - all the while lamenting how Barrabus' behaviour forces him to do this.
* A particularly dark example in ''Literature/TheKid'': one of the [[PedophilePriest Pedophile Priests]] at the protagonist's orphanage says a variant of this after attacking the protagonist for disobedience.
* Creator/JacquelineWilson's ''Literature/LolaRose'': Lola's mother is due to go to the hospital for an operation. The night before, she drinks heavily while her daughter tries to stop her. After being ignored, Lola accidentally-on-purpose drops the bottle of alcohol. Her mother belts her across the face, then they both burst out crying. May well be [[JustifiedTrope justified]] in this case, since the operation is for breast cancer, putting everyone in the family under extreme stress.
* In the Creator/StephenKing book ''Misery'', Annie Wilkes pulls this on protagonist Paul Sheldon. Just replace "hit" with [[AxeCrazy "chop off foot with axe and cauterize the wound with a blowtorch"]].
** Generally, this is one of Stephen King's favorite tropes. For example, ''IT'' has Beverly's abusive husband, who violently punishes her for smoking next to him. Later on in their relationship, as he prepares to beat her he talks about how he ''has'' to give her a "whuppin'" for her (perfectly normal) behaviour, saying "sorry about that, Bev". This has been so ingrained into her that when she finally (and violently) leaves him and talks to her friend about the fight they had, Beverly starts to say how it was her fault only for her friend to immediately call her out on it and demand that she stop blaming herself for her husband's abuse.
* In the S.E. Hinton book ''Literature/TheOutsiders'' After Ponyboy yells "YOU DON'T YELL AT HIM!" at Darry for yelling at Soda, Darry inadvertently slaps Pony against the door. Darry looks at his hand, then looks at Ponyboy. All three brothers are shocked. Darry then says, "Ponyboy!" And as Pony is charging out the door, Darry yells in a desperate attempt to get him back inside the house, "Ponyboy, I didn't mean to--" and the youngest one disappears.
** More PlayedWith than anything else, as Darry attempts to alleviate some of his blame, not by shifting the blame to Ponyboy, but by making the situation seem like an accident or an involuntary reaction. Ponyboy is never seen by the narrative or by the characters to be anything but in the right here.
* Lorraine's mother pulls this in ''Literature/ThePigman'' over Lorraine being involved in a WildTeenParty. She hits her, scolds her, and makes her feel like total trash for daring to have a good time, then starts sobbing about how it makes ''her'' feel. She never apologizes to Lorraine, either.
* Occurs in the first book in Lemony Snicket's ''Literature/ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents'' in which the Baudelaires are forced to cook dinner for their horrible guardian Count Olaf and his entire theater troupe. Once they finish, Count Olaf yells at them for forgetting to cook roast beef, and out of spite he and his troupe don't eat the food that the children worked so hard to prepare. He then tells them to clean up the kitchen and go to bed. At this, Klaus yells, "You have only provided us with one bed!" which, in turn, rouses Count Olaf's temper and he says they should buy another bed. Klaus tells him that the only money they have is the Baudelaire fortune, which is not to be used until Violet is of age. Count Olaf grows red with anger and strikes Klaus across the face. His theater troupe applauds and laughs at Klaus as they leave with Count Olaf, which firmly implies that they are proud of Count Olaf for hitting Klaus and that Count Olaf felt like Klaus definitely deserved it.
** His actions towards the Baudelaires throughout the course of the rest of the book and the rest of the series plays out in a very similar and cruel fashion. Oddly enough, he never physically strikes any of them again.
* In ''Literature/ShadowOfTheConqueror,'' after Sharra reminds Daylen of his worst memories by trying to seduce him, he wakes up in a murderously bad mood, and snaps Sain's arm like a chicken bone for ''literally'' setting a foot out of line.[[note]]Yes, literally. He stepped out of the five-meter radius that Daylen ordered him to stay in.[[/note]] Daylen's explanation:
-->'''Daylen:''' "I told him what would happen. So actually, he broke his own arm."
* ''Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire'': Daenerys Targaryen was on the constant receiving end of this from her abusive older brother, Viserys, when she grew up. Viserys warned Daenerys to always follow his wishes, or else he would hit her repeatedly, which he justified as her waking "the dragon" in him. At the start of the series, Daenerys still fears her brother to some extent, but her marriage to Khal Drogo, as her as well integration to the Dothraki way of life, cause her to [[GrewASpine stand up to him]], as she realizes that Viserys has no leverage against her beyond his empty threats.
* Creator/JacquelineWilson's ''Literature/TheSuitcaseKid'': Andy is extremely late coming home from school after she decides that she can't stand her dysfunctional family life. Her mother slaps her when she finally does come home, bursts into tears, and lays an enormous guilt trip on Andy, despite the fact that her mother's emotional manipulation, ParentalFavoritism towards her new boyfriend's children, and general lack of concern for Andy's best interests go a long-term way towards explaining why Andy didn't want to come home in the first place.
* [[Literature/TessOfTheDurbervilles Alec D'Urberville]] is not above playing this card. Except he plays it as "[[RapeAsDrama Why did you make me lust after you?]]"
* This is part of what Nero does to Meg in ''Literature/TheTrialsOfApollo''. He warns her that [[SuperpoweredEvilSide The Beast]] will come out if she doesn't behave and that it was The Beast (and not him) who killed her biological father.
* In ''Literature/TheTwilightSaga'' Emily refuses to return Sam's affection. He eventually loses his temper, becomes a [[OurWerewolvesAreDifferent wolf]], and claws half her face off. He then feels so bad about what he did that she decides to accept his love. Christ, those books are messed up...
** And let's not go into all the emotional abuse between Edward and Bella. "Do you want to start a war" indeed.
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