History WarpThatAesop / Theater

* ''TheBookOfMormon'': Sometimes you have to lie to black people.

* ''SpringAwakening'': Go ahead, rape that girl in a hayloft. She's only saying "no", fighting back violently and sobbing because of the oppressive climate of prudishness in your quaint German village! Remember, you're ''liberating'' her! Even though you impregnate her and she has no idea what's going on to her body, and her mother forces her to take abortifacent pills that end up causing a fatal hemorrhage, she'll always remember you as her faithful, adoring sweetheart! She'll come back as a ghost! You'll sing a song!

** Secretely, ''everyone'' wishes they could dress in drag.

* [[{{ptitlefiwg8rim}} 13]]: Don't try to make friends outside of your normal group of friends, because they will turn out to be fake and you'll alienate your real friends.

* NextToNormal: When your mother is undergoing dangerous treatment for severe mental illness, use the distraction to blatantly abuse prescription drugs and mistreat your boyfriend. Everyone will come to see you as the REAL hero in the end.
* OnceOnThisIsland: If you fall in love with someone richer or whiter than you, don't follow your heart; the status quo will prove more important to him than his feelings for you.

* TheWizardOfOz: Murdering friendless old ladies is the way to public acclaim.

** (Meta-ish) If a creepy older guy is stalking a younger girl, murders people, kidnaps the girl, and uses blackmail, just remember- StalkingIsLove. It's totally okay to think the girl should get together with the guy who stalks/murders/etc. After all, AllGirlsLoveBadBoys, right?

* OnceOnThisIsland: If you fall in love with someone richer or whiter than you, don't follow your heart; you're just being messed with by JerkassGods who will turn you into a tree when he rejects you for the status quo.

* {{Hop}}: Remember children, if you work hard you can overcome the negative preconceptions of others and go on to live your dream, but only if your white, male and middle class. if you're ethnic and/or of the working class, then trying make a better life for yourself will only result in horrible disfigurement, leaving you a grotesque and lonely abomination.

* {{Hop}}: Remember children, if you work hard you can overcome the negative preconceptions of others and go on to live your dream, but only if your white, male and middle class. [[spoiler:if you're ethnic and/or of the working class, then trying make a better life for yourself will only result in horrible disfigurement, leaving you a grotesque and lonely abomination.]]

* {{Hop}}: Remember children, if you work hard you can overcome the negative preconceptions of others and go on to live your dream, but only if your white, male and middle class. [[quoteblock]]if you're ethnic and/or of the working class, then trying make a better life for yourself will only result in horrible disfigurement, leaving you a grotesque and lonely abomination[[/quoteblock]].

* {{Hop}}: Remember children, if you work hard, you can overcome the negative preconceptions of others and go on to live your dream, but only if your white, male and middle class. if you're ethnic and/or of the working class, then trying make a better life for yourself will only result in horrible disfigurement, leaving you a grotesque and lonely abomination.

** Killing a dog is the best way to make quick money. Besides, any animal that makes too much noise deserves to die.

* {{Hairspray}}: A proper education is for losers. Break the rules, because detention is where the party is. Your high school romance, which is built solely on good times and bragging rights, will last forever. So forget about your education, find a partner, and have a blast. Life is just one big dance party.