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*** Yeah, seriously. Dear Fandom Wank; it's a joke, turn off your fun policing.
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*** Yeah, seriously. Dear Fandom Wank; wank groups; it's a joke, turn off your fun policing.
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Someone other than us needs to read the memo.
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*** Yeah, seriously. Dear Fandom Wank; it's a joke, turn off your fun policing.
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*** Actually, Bella believes exactly the opposite; wanting to get married before sex is so out of date it's idiotic. Marriage is a pointless institution! I'm agreeing to live with you for the rest of eternity, but we're NOT getting married, that's crazy talk!
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* ''TheGingerbreadMan'': If you're sentient and edible, you shouldn't try to avoid being eaten, because it's going to happen anyways.
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* ''PrideAndPrejudice'': Breaking promises leads to HappilyEverAfter. ~ Elizabeth
** No, it's that telling people not to get engaged is guaranteed to make sure they will. ~ Mr. Darcy
** No, it's that telling people not to get engaged is guaranteed to make sure they will. ~ Mr. Darcy
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* ''{{Emma}}'': {{Shipping}} is evil.
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* Shannara : A nuclear war will eventually lead to a fantasy world
* SixteenThirtyTwo : Make sure you stock up on firearms just in case you get transported into the Seventeenth Century.
* SixteenThirtyTwo : Make sure you stock up on firearms just in case you get transported into the Seventeenth Century.
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* Shannara : Shannara: A nuclear war will eventually lead to a fantasy world
*SixteenThirtyTwo : ''SixteenThirtyTwo'': Make sure you stock up on firearms just in case you get transported into the Seventeenth Century.
*
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* TheAwakening: If you feel unhappy in your relationship, you shouldn't tell your husband. You should {{Wangst}} about it, have an affair, {{Wangst}} about it, have an affair with another guy, {{Wangst}} about how the first guy wants to run away with you, then kill yourself. Never mind that your children and husband are going to suffer for your actions, as long as you can go swimming, it's all good.
* BrokebackMountain: You shouldn't attempt to establish any meaningful commitment with your lover. If they ever ask about living with you, you should avoid the issue by having sex with them.
* BrokebackMountain: You shouldn't attempt to establish any meaningful commitment with your lover. If they ever ask about living with you, you should avoid the issue by having sex with them.
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* TheAwakening: ''TheAwakening'': If you feel unhappy in your relationship, you shouldn't tell your husband. You should {{Wangst}} about it, have an affair, {{Wangst}} about it, have an affair with another guy, {{Wangst}} about how the first guy wants to run away with you, then kill yourself. Never mind that your children and husband are going to suffer for your actions, as long as you can go swimming, it's all good.
*BrokebackMountain: ''BrokebackMountain'': You shouldn't attempt to establish any meaningful commitment with your lover. If they ever ask about living with you, you should avoid the issue by having sex with them.
* JaneAusten:
** ''PrideAndPrejudice'': Breaking promises leads to HappilyEverAfter. ~ Elizabeth
*** No, it's that telling people not to get engaged is guaranteed to make sure they will. ~ Mr. Darcy
** ''{{Emma}}'': {{Shipping}} is evil.
** ''{{Persuasion}}'': Taking your friends' advice is always right... '''[[AC:ALWAYS]]''', regardless of the results, regardless of circumstances. ''Especially'' if you're a woman. ~ Anne Elliot
*
* JaneAusten:
** ''PrideAndPrejudice'': Breaking promises leads to HappilyEverAfter. ~ Elizabeth
*** No, it's that telling people not to get engaged is guaranteed to make sure they will. ~ Mr. Darcy
** ''{{Emma}}'': {{Shipping}} is evil.
** ''{{Persuasion}}'': Taking your friends' advice is always right... '''[[AC:ALWAYS]]''', regardless of the results, regardless of circumstances. ''Especially'' if you're a woman. ~ Anne Elliot
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* BrokebackMountain: You shouldn't attempt to establish any meaningful commitment with your lover. If they ever ask about living with you, you should avoid the issue by having sex with them.
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* TheAwakening: If you feel unhappy in your relationship, you shouldn't tell your husband. You should {{Wangst}} about it, have an affair, {{Wangst}} about it, have an affair with another guy, {{Wangst}} about how the first guy wants to run away with you, then kill yourself. Never mind that your children and husband are going to suffer for your actions, as long as you can go swimming, it's all good.
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** No matter how far you deliberately warp the Aesops of a series with a [[TheLawOfFanJackassery large cult fandom]] beyond recognition, [[{{Ptitlehkm94ato}} it will still sound exactly like real fan wank]] and [[http://www.journalfen.net/community/the_hms_stfu/526789.html may be taken as such]].
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**Life sucks get use to it or thought police will find you.
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**Killing people makes you look like a snake. Therefore, killing is wrong.
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** And on the other side of the coin: all your relationships are to be looted for all possible benifit. They are nothing but resources, even if they don't know it yet. Oh, but don't worry. They never, ever leave you and will always take you back.
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** And on the other side of the coin: all your relationships are to be looted for all possible benifit. They are nothing but resources, even if they don't know it yet. Oh, but don't worry. They never, ever leave you and will always take you back.back
***If your mummy doen`t give you anything you want, she doesn`t really love you!
***If your mummy doen`t give you anything you want, she doesn`t really love you!
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**It's perfectly okay for your boyfriend to blackmail you into marrying him, endanger your life, and cause you to be in terrible agony for two days straight. It's all in the name of love.
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* HoratioHornblower : Englishmen are way cooler then anyone else. Frenchmen are evil.
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* HoratioHornblower : Englishmen are way cooler then anyone else. Frenchmen are evil. Spaniards are lazy. Arabs are...
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** Meta-Aesop: Never write anything that might become popular, unless you want multiple {{HateDumb}}s to accuse you of [[MoralGuardians corrupting impressionable children]] on the flimsiest of premises.
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* TheHuntForRedOctober: Mutiny, treason, and the stealing of multibillion dollar pieces of equipment from your employer are admirable activities.
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* LordOfTheRings: The best strategy is to put a doomsday weapon where your enemy can capture it.
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* SixteenThirtyTwo : Make sure you stock up on firearms just in case you get transported into the Seventeenth Century.
**The United Mine Workers of America are tougher then any Prince in Europe.
**The United Mine Workers of America are tougher then any Prince in Europe.
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** Alternately, dodgy-looking meat and animal byproducts are delicious and not at all likely to give you food poisoning.
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** Alternately, dodgy-looking Dodgy-looking meat and animal byproducts are delicious and not at all likely to give you food poisoning.
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** Alternately, dodgy-looking meat and animal byproducts are delicious and not at all likely to give you food poisoning.
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*** There's actually a perfectly good Aesop for that situation, and it's "good people break bad laws". Marietta could have quit the society and kept her mouth shut. Who cares if the society is illegal when its goals are noble (save innocent lives), while the law is meant to protect the corrupt ambitions of politicians without regard to the risk to innocent life?
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*** There's actually a perfectly good Aesop for that situation, and it's "good people break bad laws". Marietta could have quit the society and kept her mouth shut. Who cares if the society is illegal when its goals are noble (save innocent lives), while the law is meant to protect the corrupt ambitions of politicians without regard to the risk to for innocent life?lives?
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*** There's actually a perfectly good Aesop for that situation, and it's "good people break bad laws". Marietta could have quit the society and kept her mouth shut. Who cares if the society is illegal when its goals are noble (save innocent lives), while the law is meant to protect the corrupt ambitions of politicians without regard to the risk to innocent life?
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* Shannara : A nuclear war will eventually lead to a fantasy world
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** No, that's the original "Yes, Virginia" monologue. Seriously.
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* HoratioHornblower : Englishmen are way cooler then anyone else. Frenchmen are evil.
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* TheIliad: marital problems should be solved by burning whole cities down.
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**Or teenagers who threaten to destroy civilization are really cool.
**How about, never trust your doctor?
**Or people who live in countries with lots of water like reading about how wussy they are.
**How about, never trust your doctor?
**Or people who live in countries with lots of water like reading about how wussy they are.
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* {{Dune}}: A drug addict should rule the universe as long as he proves it by killing lots of people, forcing a princess to marry him, and then ignoring her while having sex with a desert barbarian in smelly clothes. His mother will be greatly pleased with this.
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* {{Dune}}: A drug addict should rule the universe as long as he proves it by killing lots of people, forcing a princess to marry him, and then ignoring her while having sex with a desert barbarian in who wears smelly clothes. His mother will be greatly pleased with this.very proud of him.
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* {{Dune}}: A drug addict should rule the universe as long as he proves it by killing lots of people, forcing a princess to marry him, and then ignoring her while having sex with a desert barbarian in smelly clothes. His mother will be greatly pleased with this.
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* IcelandicSagas : Feuding, piracy, and savagery are an honorable way to live.
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* IcelandicSagas TheIcelandicSagas : Feuding, piracy, and savagery are an honorable way to live.
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* ArabianNights: Insane psychotic tyrants always find the best women to marry.
* IcelandicSagas : Feuding, piracy, and savagery are an honorable way to live.
* NorseMythology : Fighting all day and drinking all night is heaven.
* IcelandicSagas : Feuding, piracy, and savagery are an honorable way to live.
* NorseMythology : Fighting all day and drinking all night is heaven.
