History SoYouWantTo / WriteAGoodYaoi

* '''RapeAsBackstory:''' Deserves a dishonorable mention for just how ''damn common'' it is in yaoi/slash. Not only are there many other ways to give someone an angsty, tragic backstory that too often go unexplored because rape is seen as a quick shortcut to angst (even the DoomedHometown is less cliche at this point), but there are several other issues with it if it is not written well. The first and most obvious being that poorly written, it can trivialize rape and actual victims of rape. It can also give credence to the AllGaysArePedophiles, AllMenAreRapists, DepravedBisexual, and RapeAndSwitch (which gets its own entry below) tropes - all absolutely ''horrific'' stereotypes that RealLife gay and bisexual men have faced for a long time (and still have to confront in much of the world). Finally, using rape for an angsty backstory overlooks that trauma from rape is ''very'' individualized - some people may indeed become suicidal and SelfHarm, while on the other end of the spectrum, there are a "lucky" few victims that [[NoSell aren't severely traumatized]] and actually ''do'' just want to "move on with their lives" - and nothing can predict in advance where someone will fall. If you absolutely ''must'' use rape as backstory (e.g. you're writing a fanfic about a character that experienced it), again do your research, and don't use it as a reason for {{wimpification}} or as a reason for the character "becoming gay."

* Things can "get lost," unlike in the vagina. It's almost impossible to lose something in an average vagina (though it has happened on occasion) because the entrance of the cervix serves as a barrier. The anus ''has'' no such barrier, so anything that gets shoved too far in is usually staying and being brought up through the bowel via peristalsis until passed / until getting stuck (small objects) or becoming immovably (without help) lodged deep in the bowel (larger objects). The results are not usually good and end up in the emergency room. Anything used for anorectal insertions should have a flared base (meaning something that works as a "stop") and/or another safe means of being pulled out of the body. This is actually important to depict, if your story involves toy use, as a result of ViewersAreMorons.

* '''RapeAndSwitch:''': A ''severely'' discredited trope that still depressingly appears in some m/m fiction. ''Being raped does not make someone gay or bisexual,'' and that's all that needs to be said there. (In fact, being raped may well make someone take much, much longer to accept themselves as gay or bisexual, out of fear of the trauma being repeated, out of associating their orientation as somehow to blame or with the specific act that triggers them, and/or out of being convinced, sometimes due to a BadSamaritan HeteronormativeCrusader, that being gay or bisexual equates to being a rapist.)

[[/folder]]

OK, we've all seen our share of [[CrackPairing crack pairings]]. People put on their ShippingGoggles, and sometimes they'll see a pairing you don't like. Or a pairing that you like but not as a couple. So it goes. Rather than having a FlameWar over whether it should be (let's say) [[GundamWing Heero x Duo, Heero x Relena, etc.]], why not just agree to disagree? Enjoy the fics for what they are: fiction. Focus on the quality of the story and writing, not the pairing. The {{Fandom}} will be a lot more peaceful, and thus more enjoyable, for all concerned.

!!'''To Wrap or Not To Wrap, To Lube or Not To Lube'''

RealLife anal penetration with ''anything'' generally almost always requires lubricant of some sort, since the rectum is not self-lubricating. Some people can make do with spit or outright dry, but these are ''very rare.'' RealLife penetrative sex also is safest with the insertive partner wearing a condom to protect his partner from HIV/AIDS (and not just for anal, also if doing "front hole" with a transman, pregnancy if he's pre-surgical) and to protect himself from HIV/AIDS and from urinary tract infection. (Though some male/male couples in RealLife don't use condoms, because "bareback" (condomless) sex is a thing especially pre-AIDS and/or among people who just don't care about being infected, occasionally monogamous couples will dispense with condoms if they know they are monogamous and the receptive partner has good enough hygiene that the top won't get a UTI, and/or the top or both partners are transmale and using prostheses or toys, meaning no bodily fluids entering anyone else's body as long as the devices are cleaned properly between partners)

Obviously in fiction, you are not ''obligated'' or required in any way to depict your couple using condoms or lube. Some writers think this is TooMuchInformation and takes away from the passion of the moment, or have other reasons to refuse the idea of depicting the use of condoms and/or lube - that is your right as a writer. That said, it ''is'' possible to make both work in an explicit story. It's your decision in the end. Keep in mind, though, that the more realistic a fandom is, the more likely you are to draw flames, ''especially'' if you don't just skip over condoms and lube but exaggerate the characters not having any need for them in an otherwise detailed and explicit scene. As in, anime and manga and literature and comic book fandoms won't necessarily care about realism, but film, live action TV, and especially Real Person Slash / bandslash are more likely areas to get flamed for a lack of realism. One rule to go by is if the universe you're depicting has HIV/AIDS mentioned in canon or is LikeRealityUnlessNoted for original works, you probably should consider your characters using condoms unless they have a ''damn'' good reason not to do so (your couple is strictly monogamous, story is set pre-HIV/AIDS, the top is transmale using a prosthesis).

In regard to lube, if your characters are using it, there are basically three types of lubricants. Oil-based are the oldest (olive oil being used by the Greeks, mineral oil, and the first modern lubes, glycerine and petroleum jelly), but generally are best avoided because they can have an ongoing laxative effect and can leak well after the fun is over. Avoiding them is especially important if the participants are using a condom as, in the real world, oil destroys latex - which will compromise latex condoms and ruin latex-based toys or prostheses. Water and silicone based lubes are more recent inventions (think KY, Astroglide, Wet, and many many others) and are generally far better for tolerability and safety and ease of use than almost all oil-based ([[NoodleImplements though Crisco has a following among men into large insertions]], and we'll just leave it at that).

Some items that ''aren't'' lubricants at all would include alcoholic beverages (astringent, painful), peanut butter (oily but too sticky), shampoo/soap (astringent, induces strong bowel contractions that could even bring down "stuff" from above the sigmoid colon), gasoline/kerosene/petroleum fuels, perfume/aftershave, and anything that is either astringent or sticky. Waxes don't generally work because they dry and harden inside - bowel obstruction is no fun.

Some items that are possibly lubricant but insufficient or unsafe are plain water (insufficient, dries too fast), spit (insufficient, dries even faster than plain water), industrial oils like motor oil or gun oil (carcinogenic, often inflammatory to skin), and pre-ejaculate or ejaculate (insufficient, irritating, and possible HIV/AIDS risk)

If your story involves "makeshift lube," look it up on Google and make sure it falls under the category of relatively safe for human consumption/use oil-based non-sticky substance, and/or find a way to have actual lube present. This will add realism to your story, as opposed to breaking readers' SuspensionOfDisbelief and making them either laugh, flame, or simply feel sympathy pain in the butt.

If you're still bound and determined after all that, please consult another article of the SoYouWantTo namespace, [[SoYouWantTo/WriteASexScene So You Want To: Write A Sex Scene?]].

!!'''Penetration Is Not Necessary'''

Gay sex doesn't have to include penetration, and in RealLife a lot of it isn't. As well as masturbation and oral, there is passionate making out, and toys, and as a good way to show an equal relationship there is also grinding/frottage. Heck, you can have them fully clothed and it can still be genuinely for adults.

The point being, that nobody has to be face-down; it can be just as hot with a scene dedicated to them making out on the couch.

[[folder: A few sex ed points for more graphic material]]

'''PornWithoutPlot:''' If it's well-written and tasteful, it can be good. But if it's poorly-written and crass, why bother with it? If you can't come up with even a slight semblance of plotline or relationship, at least put effort into your sex scene. Though the story will hold the audience's attention better if there's something besides sex for them to focus on--something that ultimately makes the sex even sexier.

* "Keep in mind that they're all REALLY straight." Enforcing heteronormativity under the guise of "protecting canon" helps no one. Most fanfiction writers know the actual orientation of whomever they are writing about already, anyway, and sometimes they do write about characters or people that are really gay or bisexual, so they don't need to be "informed of reality."
** The ''only'' times this is justified and not homophobic is if someone is about to out a real person who hasn't come out (in which case it shouldn't be "keep in mind he's straight" but "keep in mind he might not want people knowing whatever he may be") or falsely accuse a real person of cheating on their wife with a man or the like in a way that that person will actually know.

'''The Overused ExcusePlot:''' Here's a few of them, that have been done to death. Like all SturgeonsTropes, that's not to say they are ''bad'' and many of the stories they are in are popular, and a very good writer can possibly create a fresh take on them or at least a side-splittingly hilarious {{deconstruction}}. That said, if you find yourself using any of these, just stop and think for a moment.

'''The SexualHarassmentAndRapeTropes in general:''' For many readers, they are FetishRetardant and NoYay, as well as potentially intensely triggering. They are also ''[[ClicheStorm incredibly]]'' [[FollowTheLeader overdone]] in yaoi and slash fiction, to the point that a list of works that don't glorify rape or sexual assault in some way are enough to fill two or three pages, those that don't feature ''rape'' itself anywhere within them are unique enough to fit on one page, and the ones among ''those'' that don't feature "milder" sexual harassment or QuestionableConsent at any point are even fewer. Avoiding, averting, and subverting (or at least deconstructing) these tropes will make your work stand out as unique and original and not cliched. If your story requires these tropes for some reason, at least do the research - read everything you can find that is an actual story of a victim, resources for victims, etcetera. If you want to write rape, at least go into it with the same preparation you would if you were going to volunteer on the phones at your local rape crisis center (and maybe even consider doing just that first, too.). If you're writing QuestionableConsent or sexual harassment/assault that doesn't reach the level of rape, keep in mind people can be traumatized by that as well, and that it is on the same "spectrum" as rape, so while it may require somewhat less care, it's still something that can make the "dog-like persistent seme" be seen as a StalkerWithACrush instead, for example, or make that scene of lovers waking each other up with sex have an uncomfortable and unfortunate subtext unless you wrote them agreeing to do it the night before first.

* '''The Seme''' -- the [[UnusualEuphemism pitcher]]. Frequently has a more dominant personality in general. He is usually taller and more masculine-looking.
* '''The Uke''' -- the [[GameOfNerds catcher]]. He's usually shorter, and usually more of a {{Bishounen}} or even an outright DudeLooksLikeALady.

In bara crossover/fusion (e.g. you're going for a gay or bisexual male audience also, or exclusively) or slash, you are ''not'' bound to these roles and stereotypes. In fact, using them may be an AudienceAlienatingPremise, ''especially'' with a stereotypical whining, sniveling, misogynist stereotype if he were female uke, ''even more especially'' if it's a fanfic and a character who ''didn't'' or barely fit those stereotypes gets [[{{Wimpification}} them put on him.]]. There, you can have characters who are exclusive tops or exclusive bottoms, but these ''don't'' have to match anything in behavior outside the bedroom (and they can even contrast, a common bara contrast is having TheBigGuy or the rich and powerful guy be an exclusive bottom), though they can, depending on the person. Of course, there's also versatile people/switches, who can and do enjoy being both top and bottom. Then there's people that don't believe in doing things that require a receptive or insertive partner. The general dynamic, though, is one of how ''actual'' male/male relationships work, not an idealized "seme" and "uke."

Barring a [[{{polyamory}} three- or more- way relationship]], there are two main characters: the {{Seme}} and the {{Uke}}.

'''The SexualHarassmentAndRapeTropes in general:''' For many readers, they are FetishRetardant and NoYay, as well as potentially intensely triggering. They are also ''[[ClicheStorm incredibly]]'' [[FollowTheLeader overdone]] in yaoi and slash fiction, to the point that a list of works that don't glorify rape or sexual assault in some way are enough to fill two or three pages, those that don't feature ''rape'' itself anywhere within them are unique enough to fit on one page, and the ones among ''those'' that don't feature "milder" sexual harassment or QuestionableConsent at any point are even fewer. Avoiding, averting, and subverting (or at least deconstructing) these tropes will make your work stand out as unique and original and not cliched. If your story requires these tropes for some reason, at least do the research - read everything you can find that is an actual story of a victim, resources for victims, etcetera. If you want to write rape, at least go into it with the same preparation you would if you were going to volunteer on the phones at your local rape crisis center (and maybe even consider doing just that first, too.)

** '''RapeAsBackstory:''' Deserves a dishonorable mention for just how ''damn common'' it is in yaoi/slash. Not only are there many other ways to give someone an angsty, tragic backstory that too often go unexplored because rape is seen as a quick shortcut to angst (even the DoomedHometown is less cliche at this point), but there are several other issues with it if it is not written well. The first and most obvious being that poorly written, it can trivialize rape and actual victims of rape. It can also give credence to the AllGaysArePedophiles, AllMenAreRapists, DepravedBisexual, and RapeAndSwitch (which gets its own entry below) tropes - all absolutely ''horrific'' stereotypes that RealLife gay and bisexual men have faced for a long time (and still have to confront in much of the world). Finally, using rape for an angsty backstory overlooks that trauma from rape is ''very'' individualized - some people may indeed become suicidal and SelfHarm, while on the other end of the spectrum, there are a "lucky" few victims that [[NoSell aren't severely traumatized]] and actually ''do'' just want to "move on with their lives" - and nothing can predict in advance where someone will fall. If you absolutely ''must'' use rape as backstory (e.g. you're writing a fanfic about a character that experienced it), again do your research, and don't use it as a reason for {{wimpification}} or as a reason for the character "becoming gay."
** '''RapeAndSwitch:''': A ''severely'' discredited trope that still depressingly appears in some m/m fiction. ''Being raped does not make someone gay or bisexual,'' and that's all that needs to be said there. (In fact, being raped may well make someone take much, much longer to accept themselves as gay or bisexual, out of fear of the trauma being repeated, out of associating their orientation as somehow to blame or with the specific act that triggers them, and/or out of being convinced, sometimes due to a BadSamaritan HeteronormativeCrusader, that being gay or bisexual equates to being a rapist.)

If you can't write sex (too embarrassed, afraid of it falling into the wrong hands, not enough experience, trouble transposing the sex act into words, what have you) there's no need to feel embarrassed. You can use a SexyDiscretionShot; merely imply that your characters had sex. Sex is ''not'' the be-all and end-all of BoysLove. Or GirlsLove. Or ''het'', for that matter. In fact, most readers would rather you fade to black or focus on someone/something else than suffer through badly written IKEAErotica. There's also readers that read at work or have other reasons not to want a nonstop parade of graphic sex. Finally, if you want a page on this site for your work at some point, it ''has'' to not be PornWithoutPlot, because such works are prohibited per the site rules.

Don't shoehorn it just for the sake of having it. Sure, you want to see hot HoYay action, but if it doesn't make sense with the plotline, you're not doing any favors by [[AccidentalInnuendo jamming one in]] anyway. Some of the best works out there focus on the ''relationship'' and the plotline more than sex.

If you can't write sex (too embarrassed, afraid of it falling into the wrong hands, not enough experience, trouble transposing the sex act into words, what have you) there's no need to feel embarrassed. You can use a SexyDiscretionShot; merely imply that your characters had sex. Sex is ''not'' the be-all and end-all of BoysLove. Or GirlsLove. Or ''het'', for that matter. In fact, most readers would rather you fade to black or focus on someone/something else than suffer through badly written IKEAErotica.

Having sexual desires and urges does ''not'' make you a bad person, or a slut, or undesirable, or dirty, or anything else, no matter whether or not you have a Y chromosome. It means you're human. Since MostWritersAreHuman (and by extension most readers, too), there should be no need to polish that [[HolyHalo halo]]. Some of the ''hottest'' yaoi erotica involves an uke who desires sex -- and lets the seme know that. It also involves a seme who treats his uke like a lover and not a victim. Furthermore, using rape to titillate is not only cliche, but also frequently causes FetishRetardant -- and that's not even mentioning the UsefulNotes/{{trigger}} factor for those who have actually had this crime happen to them. You don't want to alienate your readers.

* Things can "get lost," unlike in the vagina. It's almost impossible to lose something in an average vagina (though it has happened on occasion) because the entrance of the cervix serves as a barrier. The anus ''has'' no such barrier, so anything that gets shoved too far in is usually staying and being brought up through the bowel via peristalsis (small objects) or becoming immovably (without help) lodged deep in the bowel (larger objects). The results are not usually good and end up in the emergency room. Anything used for anorectal insertions should have a flared base (meaning something that works as a "stop") and/or another safe means of being pulled out of the body. This is actually important to depict, if your story involves toy use, as a result of ViewersAreMorons.

In regard to lube, if your characters are using it, there are basically three types of lubricants. Oil-based are the oldest (olive oil being used by the Greeks, mineral oil, and the first modern lubes, glycerine and petroleum jelly), but generally are best avoided because they can have an ongoing laxative effect and can leak well after the fun is over. Avoiding them is especially important if the participants are using a condom as, in the real world, oil destroys latex. Water and silicone based lubes are more recent inventions (think KY, Astroglide, Wet, and many many others) and are generally far better for tolerability and safety and ease of use than almost all oil-based ([[NoodleImplements though Crisco has a following among men into large insertions]], and we'll just leave it at that).

'''Bad Style:''' There's no excuse for writing poorly-spelled, awfully formatted, unpunctuated crap. If you are old enough to be reading and writing the often-explicit material in this field, you ''are'' old enough to understand at the very least how to turn on spell check and grammar check and autocorrect, and to use your writing software's default settings. Better yet, go look up some of the many free resources to improve your spelling, punctuation, and writing skill in general. Then also go look up BadWriting here to see some common pitfalls of bad style. In short, if you aren't writing at least at a 10th grade level (using US education system as a reference) you ''will'' look like you're under 18 (which will get you banned on sight from many places and lead to many people being afraid to interact with you and quite a lot of creepy people not being afraid to interact with you) ''even if you are well over 18.'' Your work will also be seen as low-quality stereotypical crap and be avoided and attract flames and even trolls.

!!'''[[MemeticMutation My Anus Is Bleeding! My Anus Is Bleeding!]]'''

In regard to lube, if your characters are using it, there are basically three types of lubricants. Oil-based are the oldest (olive oil being used by the Greeks, mineral oil, and the first modern lubes, glycerine and petroleum jelly), but generally are best avoided because they can have an ongoing laxative effect and can leak well after the fun is over. Avoiding them is especially important is the participants are using a condom as in the real world, oil destroys latex. Water and silicone based lubes are more recent inventions (think KY, Astroglide, Wet, and many many others) and are generally far better for tolerability and safety and ease of use than almost all oil-based ([[NoodleImplements though Crisco has a following among men into large insertions]], and we'll just leave it at that).

* While this isn't a trope, no ''trans people'' is also a homophobic (suggesting no transgendered person can be gay or bisexual) and transphobic (for invisibility and prejudice reasons) stereotype, unfortunately one ''imposed'' by some yaoi archives and such that don't want depictions of vaginas on their archives for example. If you're open to the idea as an original fiction writer or writing fic for one of the sadly few fandoms that do have canon transmale characters, consider writing a transgendered man. And no, that ''does not'' mean you have to play up his "femininity" or anything and smash the audience over the head with an anvil - just depicting something like a chest surgery or hysterectomy scar will do, or if you want more drama, a character explaining no, those needles aren't heroin but his hormone replacement therapy.

In regard to lube, if your characters are using it, there are basically three types of lubricants. Oil-based are the oldest (olive oil being used by the Greeks, mineral oil, and the first modern lubes, glycerine and petroleum jelly), but generally are best avoided because they can have an ongoing laxative effect and can leak well after the fun is over. Water and silicone based lubes are more recent inventions (think KY, Astroglide, Wet, and many many others) and are generally far better for tolerability and safety and ease of use than almost all oil-based ([[NoodleImplements though Crisco has a following among men into large insertions]], and we'll just leave it at that).