History Recap / GleeS6E09ChildStar

* TakeThat: Will to Rachel, suggesting that she stop talking for once. Kitty to [[TakeThatUs the show]] and the alumni by asking if the kids are ever going to sing, and if there will be more alumni appearances. This lesson is practiced in exactly this episode, being the only one of season 6 to not feature any alumni not employed by [=McKinley=] (only Sam and Rachel appear).

In the hope of securing the prestigious Principal of the Year Award, Sue asks Superintendent Bob Harris (Christopher Cousins) for a letter of recommendation. In exchange, Harris asks Sue to help his nephew, Myron Muskovitz (J.J. Totah), plan a lavish musical performance for his upcoming bar mitzvah party. When Sue defers to the New Directions, Myron asks them to perform there, as well. Mason, having developed feelings for Jane, is anxious to perform with her, but he is prevented from doing so by his controlling twin sister. When he asks Jane anyway and tells Madison that she is to sing with Roderick instead of him, Madison freaks out. However, after Mason performs a telling solo about independence at the party, Madison relents and allows her brother to further pursue Jane. Meanwhile, Spencer develops a crush on a student named Alistair (Finneas O'Connell), and decides to help Roderick—who is Alistair's friend—improve his fitness if he helps him strike up a friendship. Despite Spencer's abrasive personality, Roderick helps the two connect, resulting in Alistair being convinced to join New Directions. Myron also joins the glee club due to his uncle's influence, which infuriates Sue, as now she cannot destroy the club without invoking the ire of her superior. Nevertheless, she intends to do battle with the group anyway.

* NotImportantToThisEpisodeCamp: Understandably, Klaine.

* "Friday I'm In Love" by Music/TheCure, performed by Spencer Porter

We're back to abnormal business with the second least watched episode in all of ''Glee'' history at 1.69m, presumably because people saw the trailer with a boy mini-Rachel and decided that they never need to see that -- Blainchel are already annoying enough. The least watched episode? [[Recap/GleeS6E06WhatTheWorldNeedsNow Three episodes prior at 1.58m]]. Also a little warning that about the time this episode was written, Creator/RyanMurphy realized that he hasn't managed to make a clean sweep of Wiki/TVTropes and started writing in all the plot devices he could find and even unearth. We'll get an obvious one this episode.

We start with Sue and her "SLOPPY BABIES"; seems she's now in charge of all [=McKinley=] Phys Ed now, even though she's principal, because she's shouting at the boys to start doing their fitness test.[[note]]"YOU THINK THIS IS HARD? TRY CONSUMING YOUR OWN TWIN IN UTERO, THAT'S HARD."[[/note]] Roderick and Spencer have quickly become almost-friends, and are in PE together, because Roderick isn't happy that Spencer is helping someone clearly able to do sit-ups when he can't. Yes, ''Glee'' has now gone and actually reduced Spencer to his sexuality because he spends all episode being Kurt from seasons 1 and 2 pining over this hippie named Alistair (Phineas O'Connell). Sue then gets Roderick to climb the rope, and everyone (except Spencer, Alistair and the staff) laughs at him when he can't. When they leave the class, Spencer tells Roderick to try harder because he needs stamina in glee, and Roderick says Spencer should help him train if he's so concerned. Then Spencer notices that Roderick is friends with Alistair and shows off to him, deciding to help Roderick. They must have been doing PE together for years, how has Spencer never noticed Alistair before? And immediately knows that he's gay? Roderick, after hearing Spencer declare himself a "player", is properly called a "creeper" as we call for the TitleCard.

We see Sue with Superintendent Harris, who of course is very important, after that little thing he did earlier in the season that caused the return of ND. After he witnesses Sue's drone, Sue asks him for a letter of recommendation for an award application, said letter of course praising her to low hell. Well since this is clearly the setup for a favor of his own, it seems he has a nephew whose bar mitzvah is coming up soon and he wants ND to critique his performance, because it needs to be perfect. The gold-spandexed boy, one Myron Muskovitz (Josie Totah)[[note]]Known then as JJ Totah.[[/note]], then does a performance that literally makes Rachel [[IncrediblyLamePun lose her breath]]. Clearly, she misses Quinnie more than she realized. Afterwards, they applaud him, but he wants real constructive criticism, people, and this ends up with him firing all of his back-up dancers because Kitty says they might be able to smile some more. He already told them that. Kitty and Myron - the kid - immediately become rivals, and not just because they both love the spotlight and have the same range. Still, Myron wants New Directions to do a set at his party. Sue says they accept and because, as always, we can spot the inevitable a mile away, it would surprise no one to learn that by the end of the episode, Myron will manage to get onto the team even though he's thirteen, in addition to the guy that will become Spencer's boyfriend. Cut to Jane's locker as we actually get interaction between newbies we've not seen before. In this case, Mason arrives to get the flirt on, seems they have a thing for each other. Jane tells him she got a C on a math test, so maybe the school isn't doing that great or maybe it has something to do with glee club, and he says that when he's sad he goes to Breadstix. She asks if it's good, and we're shouting at him to leave her innocent. Sadly, he tells her how it was infested with cockroaches. {{Squick}}. And then, since it appears, she's the older of the two, Madison then approaches and says that Mason can't take Jane out because they have to stick to their diet. Poor cheerleaders, they bring up not eating too much. At least they didn't mention Sue's Master Cleanse. That is the stuff of nightmares. Much like Ryan Murphy's brain. Cut to the locker room where it's obvious Mason apparently has no male friends (that Murphy is paying), as he got Spencer and Roderick to give him advice on women. Spencer immediately excuses himself, and does become a stereotypical "girls have cooties" gay. Headdesk & FacePalm. They have ruined the only thing that made him unique in this show: nothing was about how he was gay. He liked it that way. So did we. Mason reels him back in by saying the problem lies with his sister not wanting him to date, to which they ask if the [[{{Twincest}} twins are dating]]. "Ha Ha". "Sorry... but, seriously, aren't you guys dating?" Being completely useless, mostly due to Madison basically raising him due to the parents being performers first, Mason then asks one of them to take Madison out so that she's distracted. They both proceed to glare at him like he's as stupid as he totally is. Spencer then makes the conversation about Alistair, and how he's going to work out and land a date. Oy. Cut to the lounge where Will asks Rachel what music the kids like. She says they're all very quiet. Will tells her to shut up for once and actually give them a chance to talk. Now it's Rachel's turn to go off at him? No, she agrees and then Will says that doing the bar mitzvah will solidify them as a team. He also wants to let the kids pick their own songs. Cut to the choir room where Rachel and Will introduce the lesson, get a tepid response to performing at Myron's bar mitzvah, then get Kitty asking if they're finally going to get a chance to sing or is one of the alumni going to walk through the door again? Oh, Kitty, it's like you've been here for years. Will points out the audience will be made up of tweens, a very vicious audience, so the kids should pair up to come up with a setlist for Myron's party. Mason heads for Jane, but Madison (and a sorta creepy POV camera) attaches herself to him and takes him away.

After the break, it's back to the lounge where Beiste is devouring lunch in even more of a bestial manner than ever before, and Sue looks like a zombie (or Dianna after a day of being punished for being above Ryan's scripts I mean with her shooting schedule) because she's been acting as Myron's slave complete with Vitamin B drips, eight hour pitch lessions, and reading the Torah out loud. Quite a good comparison, then. Will tells her that she shouldn't be doing it, and she says that once she's given him a good performance she'll be free. But she'll need the staff's help with it. They'll be joining New Directions as part of Myron's entertainment, replacing his back-up dancers. Beiste asks why he has to join in, and Sue says that they'll both look like fools but at least they'll ''both'' look like fools instead of just her. Cut to Jane as Mason snuck away to ask her to swap duet partners. She asks if he's cleared it with his sister, and he says they can be a secret. Ah, the words to anyone's heart. He says it's because he's a badass, and she's pretty sure he isn't, asking how he can be a badass and a cheerleader. Santana managed it perfectly well, and so does Kitty. Cut to Spencer sending Roderick up the rope and calling him pathetic when he doesn't listen to his advice. Spencer pulls him up, saying he won't help him if he doesn't try and Roderick says that he's only helping him to impress Alistair, but Alistair doesn't like him because he's a dick. Cut back to Mason telling Madison that they're switching partners because he wants to sing with Jane -- Madison argues that he's already done that and he needs to keep singing with her. Mason, then makes the mistake of telling her not to be so controlling. Guess how she reacts. Go on, guess. Yep. Jane then comes up says that it'd be easier if they stuck with their original partners. Ouch. Cut to Spencer approaching Alistair, but before he can get there the other boy walks away (wait, didn't Roderick say he had no friends? And one has conveniently appeared for a single episode arc) so, naturally, we cue the Cure. Did we mention our disappointment at him becoming your average CampGay. Murphy just can't help himself, can he? [[SarcasmMode It's cool, though]], (it is in Murphy's mind) because being all sappy is unexpected for what of his character we've been able to juice out of this season so far which makes the series more divergent. Apparently. To be fair, truth be told, Marshall Williams does manage to make this crush look somewhat cute, that and his pipes are pretty good for his only solo. Unfortunately, what's not good is Spencer still pissed at Roderick for not getting him in with Alistair. Roderick again calls him a dick and Rachel is appalled as we go to break.

We return to the auditorium for the bar mitzvah, Myron neck deep in blue sequins. He cues Mason for some Queen and Billy Lewis Jr's only solo, with an appropriate title for events to come (hell, "Break Free" should've been the title of this episode, given how relevant it is to everything, but [[Music/MarcBolan T. Rex]] did a song called "Child Star"). Afterwards, as the adolescent females squeal and we cut backstage to a dilapidated Madison and starstruck Jane, Mason embraces said Jane, while we then cut to the dressing room where Madison arrives humbled. Mason makes clear she'll always be in his life, and that he's better because of her. They hug as we quickly go to break.

We return and what a shock, Myron gets trapped in the pod he was going to use for his entrance. Guess what, somebody needs to climb up a rope to help him ''break free'' and Sue tells Spencer to get on up there. You know what's coming: Spencer says Roderick can do it, Alistair is watching from somewhere in the back or a balcony or the rafters, good god could this BE anymore telegraphed. When he gets Myron down, the boy says he thinks he's crapped himself and Kitty delegates Jane to get baby wipes and gummy bears while the rest of ND are sent to distract the crowd with some Ronson/Mars.

After another quick break, we find Will teaching the senior staff the steps. However, Sue tries to get out of it by calling him out on quitting Vocal Adrenaline, but Will calls ''her'' out on still having a thing for the Superintendent. He then calls her what sounds like "Lucy Q" but we think is actually "Susie Q" and that's apparent grounds for her to go for the physical attack. Huh. Harris walks in, bemused and beckons the senior staff to the stage as we go back to the choir room where Spencer walk in, finding Alistair playing the ukulele. Clearly the hippie wants to join glee, why hasn't he already? Surely his best friend Roderick already asked? Are we really trying to apply logic to ''Glee''? The boys end up kissing, and at least it's not more Klaine (of course, this being the only episode they're not in since season 2 there had to be another source of HoYay to make up for it). Back to the stage for a bit of more Will/Sue sniping before the appropriate Ariana; Myron finally gets to perform, with the ''Michael'' lights now spelling out his name.

We start the home stretch with Roderick thanking Spencer for being so hard on him, as he's learning to eat better. Spencer thanks Roderick for Alistair getting with him as we cut to a ForegoneConclusion, as as Superintendent Harris announces that Myron is joining [=McKinley=] and New Directions, the announcement made by Myron kicking Sue in the shins. Finn would be proud as with this, the final iteration of New Directions is now complete. Cut to Sue's hurt locker, as she vows final vengeance on all who oppose her. Cut to Myron's locker, where we find that him and Kitty have become best rivals. We wish there was more of them interacting like this, especially when Myron has to stand on a stool to meet her eye-level. Clearly, bitchy respects bitchy. He gives her money for lending him underwear, and she shoves it in her bra because she definitely deserves cash. He then tries to literally kiss her ass on their way to the auditorium. Cut to the choir room office, where Rachel is amazed at how far the newbies have come. Will is reflective on how far he and Rachel have come, the two embracing as we cut to the auditorium to end with some Echosmith, pulling out the green t-shirts and blue jeans. Myron and Kitty try to out-sing and upstage each other; Kitty wins, but eventually lets Myron get some singing and not being hidden behind everyone done.

We see Sue with Superintendent Harris, who of course is very important, after that little thing he did earlier in the season that caused the return of ND. After he witnesses Sue's drone, Sue asks him for a letter of recommendation for an award application, said letter of course praising her to low hell. Well since this is clearly the setup for a favor of his own, it seems he has a nephew whose bar mitzvah is coming up soon and he wants ND to critique his performance, because it needs to be perfect. The gold-spandexed boy, one Myron Muskovitz (Josie Totah)[[note]]Known then as JJ Totah.[[/note]], then does a performance that literally makes Rachel [[IncrediblyLamePun lose her breath]]. Clearly, she misses Dear Lucille more than she realized. Afterwards, they applaud him, but he wants real constructive criticism, people, and this ends up with him firing all of his back-up dancers because Kitty says they might be able to smile some more. He already told them that. Kitty and Myron - the kid - immediately become rivals, and not just because they both love the spotlight and have the same range. Still, Myron wants New Directions to do a set at his party. Sue says they accept and because, as always, we can spot the inevitable a mile away, it would surprise no one to learn that by the end of the episode, Myron will manage to get onto the team even though he's thirteen, in addition to the guy that will become Spencer's boyfriend. Cut to Jane's locker as we actually get interaction between newbies we've not seen before. In this case, Mason arrives to get the flirt on, seems they have a thing for each other. Jane tells him she got a C on a math test, so maybe the school isn't doing that great or maybe it has something to do with glee club, and he says that when he's sad he goes to Breadstix. She asks if it's good, and we're shouting at him to leave her innocent. Sadly, he tells her how it was infested with cockroaches. {{Squick}}. And then, since it appears, she's the older of the two, Madison then approaches and says that Mason can't take Jane out because they have to stick to their diet. Poor cheerleaders, they bring up not eating too much. At least they didn't mention Sue's Master Cleanse. That is the stuff of nightmares. Much like Ryan Murphy's brain. Cut to the locker room where it's obvious Mason apparently has no male friends (that Murphy is paying), as he got Spencer and Roderick to give him advice on women. Spencer immediately excuses himself, and does become a stereotypical "girls have cooties" gay. Headdesk & FacePalm. They have ruined the only thing that made him unique in this show: nothing was about how he was gay. He liked it that way. So did we. Mason reels him back in by saying the problem lies with his sister not wanting him to date, to which they ask if the [[{{Twincest}} twins are dating]]. "Ha Ha". "Sorry... but, seriously, aren't you guys dating?" Being completely useless, mostly due to Madison basically raising him due to the parents being performers first, Mason then asks one of them to take Madison out so that she's distracted. They both proceed to glare at him like he's as stupid as he totally is. Spencer then makes the conversation about Alistair, and how he's going to work out and land a date. Oy. Cut to the lounge where Will asks Rachel what music the kids like. She says they're all very quiet. Will tells her to shut up for once and actually give them a chance to talk. Now it's Rachel's turn to go off at him? No, she agrees and then Will says that doing the bar mitzvah will solidify them as a team. He also wants to let the kids pick their own songs. Cut to the choir room where Rachel and Will introduce the lesson, get a tepid response to performing at Myron's bar mitzvah, then get Kitty asking if they're finally going to get a chance to sing or is one of the alumni going to walk through the door again? Oh, Kitty, it's like you've been here for years. Will points out the audience will be made up of tweens, a very vicious audience, so the kids should pair up to come up with a setlist for Myron's party. Mason heads for Jane, but Madison (and a sorta creepy POV camera) attaches herself to him and takes him away.

We return to the auditorium for the bar mitzvah, Myron neck deep in blue sequins. He cues Mason for some Queen and Billy Lewis Jr's only solo, with an appropriate title for events to come (hell, "Break Free" should've been the title of this episode, given how relevant it is to everything, but [[Music/MarcBolan T. Rex]] did a song called "Child Star"). Afterwards, as the adolescent females squeal and we cut backstage to a dilapidated Madison and starstuck Jane, Mason embraces said Jane, while we then cut to the dressing room where Madison arrives humbled. Mason makes clear she'll always be in his life, and that he's better because of her. They hug as we quickly go to break.

After another quick break, we find Will teaching the senior staff the steps. However, Sue tries to get out of it by calling him out on quitting Vocal Adrenaline, but Will calls ''her'' out on still having a thing for the Superintendant. He then calls her what sounds like "Lucy Q" but we think is actually "Susie Q" and that's apparent grounds for her to go for the physical attack. Huh. Harris walks in, bemused and beckons the senior staff to the stage as we go back to the choir room where Spencer walk ins, finding Alistair playing the ukulele. Clearly the hippie wants to join glee, why hasn't he already? Surely his best friend Roderick already asked? Are we really trying to apply logic to ''Glee''? The boys end up kissing, and at least it's not more Klaine (of course, this being the only episode they're not in since season 2 there had to be another source of HoYay to make up for it). Back to the stage for a bit of more Will/Sue sniping before the appropriate Ariana; Myron finally gets to perform, with the ''Michael'' lights now spelling out his name.

We start the home stretch with Roderick thanking Spencer for being so hard on him, as he's learning to eat better. Spencer thanks Roderick for Alistair getting with him as we cut to a ForegoneConclusion, as as Superintendent Harris announces that Myron is joining [=McKinley=] and New Directions, the announcement made by Myron kicking Sue in the shins. Finnegan would be proud as with this, the final iteration of New Directions is now complete. Cut to Sue's hurt locker, as she vows final vengeance on all who oppose her. Cut to Myron's locker, where we find that him and Kitty have become best rivals. We wish there was more of them interacting like this, especially when Myron has to stand on a stool to meet her eye-level. Clearly, bitchy respects bitchy. He gives her money for lending him underwear, and she shoves it in her bra because she definitely deserves cash. He then tries to literally kiss her ass on their way to the auditorium. Cut to the choir room office, where Rachel is amazed at how far the newbies have come. Will is reflective on how far he and Rachel have come, the two embracing as we cut to the auditorium to end with some Echosmith, pulling out the green t-shirts and blue jeans. Myron and Kitty try to out-sing and upstage each other; Kitty wins, but eventually lets Myron get some singing and not being hidden behind everyone done.

We return to the auditorium for the bar mitzvah, Myron neck deep in blue sequins. He cues Mason for some Queen and Billy Lewis Jr's only solo, with an appropriate title for events to come (hell, "Break Free" should've been the title of this episode, given how relevant it is to everything, but Music/TRex did a song called "Child Star"). Afterwards, as the adolescent females squeal and we cut backstage to a dilapidated Madison and starstuck Jane, Mason embraces said Jane, while we then cut to the dressing room where Madison arrives humbled. Mason makes clear she'll always be in his life, and that he's better because of her. They hug as we quickly go to break.

We see Sue with Superintendent Harris, who of course is very important, after that little thing he did earlier in the season that caused the return of ND. After he witnesses Sue's drone, Sue asks him for a letter of recommendation for an award application, said letter of course praising her to low hell. Well since this is clearly the setup for a favor of his own, it seems he has a nephew whose bar mitzvah is coming up soon and he wants ND to critique his performance, because it needs to be perfect. The gold-spandexed boy, one Myron Muskovitz (J.J. Totah), then does a performance that literally makes Rachel [[IncrediblyLamePun lose her breath]]. Clearly, she misses Dear Lucille more than she realized. Afterwards, they applaud him, but he wants real constructive criticism, people, and this ends up with him firing all of his back-up dancers because Kitty says they might be able to smile some more. He already told them that. Kitty and Myron - the kid - immediately become rivals, and not just because they both love the spotlight and have the same range. Still, Myron wants New Directions to do a set at his party. Sue says they accept and because, as always, we can spot the inevitable a mile away, it would surprise no one to learn that by the end of the episode, Myron will manage to get onto the team even though he's thirteen, in addition to the guy that will become Spencer's boyfriend. Cut to Jane's locker as we actually get interaction between newbies we've not seen before. In this case, Mason arrives to get the flirt on, seems they have a thing for each other. Jane tells him she got a C on a math test, so maybe the school isn't doing that great or maybe it has something to do with glee club, and he says that when he's sad he goes to Breadstix. She asks if it's good, and we're shouting at him to leave her innocent. Sadly, he tells her how it was infested with cockroaches. {{Squick}}. And then, since it appears, she's the older of the two, Madison then approaches and says that Mason can't take Jane out because they have to stick to their diet. Poor cheerleaders, they bring up not eating too much. At least they didn't mention Sue's Master Cleanse. That is the stuff of nightmares. Much like Ryan Murphy's brain. Cut to the locker room where it's obvious Mason apparently has no male friends (that Murphy is paying), as he got Spencer and Roderick to give him advice on women. Spencer immediately excuses himself, and does become a stereotypical "girls have cooties" gay. Headdesk & FacePalm. They have ruined the only thing that made him unique in this show: nothing was about how he was gay. He liked it that way. So did we. Mason reels him back in by saying the problem lies with his sister not wanting him to date, to which they ask if the [[{{Twincest}} twins are dating]]. "Ha Ha". "Sorry... but, seriously, aren't you guys dating?" Being completely useless, mostly due to Madison basically raising him due to the parents being performers first, Mason then asks one of them to take Madison out so that she's distracted. They both proceed to glare at him like he's as stupid as he totally is. Spencer then makes the conversation about Alistair, and how he's going to work out and land a date. Oy. Cut to the lounge where Will asks Rachel what music the kids like. She says they're all very quiet. Will tells her to shut up for once and actually give them a chance to talk. Now it's Rachel's turn to go off at him? No, she agrees and then Will says that doing the bar mitzvah will solidify them as a team. He also wants to let the kids pick their own songs. Cut to the choir room where Rachel and Will introduce the lesson, get a tepid response to performing at Myron's bar mitzvah, then get Kitty asking if they're finally going to get a chance to sing or is one of the alumni going to walk through the door again? Oh, Kitty, it's like you've been here for years. Will points out the audience will be made up of tweens, a very vicious audience, so the kids should pair up to come up with a setlist for Myron's party. Mason heads for Jane, but Madison (and a sorta creepy POV camera) attaches herself to him and takes him away.

We see Sue with Superintendent Harris, who of course is very important, after that little thing he did earlier in the season that caused the return of ND. After he witnesses Sue's drone, Sue asks him for a letter of recommendation for an award application, said letter of course praising her to low hell. Well since this is clearly the setup for a favor of his own, it seems he has a nephew whose bar mitzvah is coming up soon and he wants ND to critique his performance, because it needs to be perfect. The gold-spandexed boy, one Myron Muskovitz (J.J. Totah), then does a performance that literally makes Rachel [[IncrediblyLamePun lose her breath]]. Clearly, she misses Dear Lucille more than she realized. Afterwards, they applaud him, but he wants real constructive criticism, people, and this ends up with him firing all of his back-up dancers because Kitty says they might be able to smile some more. He already told them that. Kitty and Myron - the kid - immediately become rivals, and not just because they both love the spotlight and have the same range. Still, Myron wants New Directions to do a set at his party. Sue says they accept and because, as always, we can spot the inevitable a mile away, it would surprise no one to learn that by the end of the episode, Myron will manage to get onto the team even though he's thirteen, in addition to the guy that will become Spencer's boyfriend. Cut to Jane's locker as we actually get interaction between newbies we've not seen before. In this case, Mason arrives to get the flirt on, seems they have a thing for each other. Jane tells him she got a C on a math test, so maybe the school isn't doing that great or maybe it has something to do with glee club, and he says that when he's sad he goes to Breadstix. She asks if it's good, and we're shouting at him to leave her innocent. Sadly, he tells her how it was infested with cockroaches. {{Squick}}. And then, since it appears, she's the older of the two, Madison then approaches and says that Mason can't take Jane out because they have to stick to their diet. Poor cheerleaders, they bring up not eating too much. At least they didn't mention Sue's Master Cleanse. That is the stuff of nightmares. Much like Ryan Murphy's brain. Cut to the locker room where it's obvious Mason apparently has no male friends (that Murphy is paying), as he got Spencer and Roderick to give him advice on women. Spencer immediately excuses himself, and does become a stereotypical "girls have cooties" gay. Headdesk & FacePalm. They have ruined the only thing that made him unique in this show: nothing was about how he was gay. He liked it that way. So did we. Mason reels him back in by saying the problem lies with his sister not wanting him to date, to which they ask if the [[{{Twincest}} twins are dating]]. "Ha Ha". "Sorry... but, seriously, aren't you guys dating?" Being completely useless, mostly due to Madison basically raising him due to the parents being performers first, Mason then asks one of them to take Madison out so that she's distracted. They both proceed to glare at him like he's as stupid as he totally is. Spencer then makes the conversation about Alistair, and how he's going to work out and land a date. Oy. Cut to the lounge where Will asks Rachel what music the kids like. She says they're all very quiet. Will tells her to shut up for once and actually give them a chance to talk. Now it's Rachel's turn to go off at him? No, she agrees and then Will says that doing the bar mitzvah will solidify them as a team. He also wants to let the kids pick their own songs. Cut to the choir room where Rachel and Will introduce the lesson, get a tepid response to performing at Myron's bar mitzvah, then get GenreSavvy Kitty asking if they're finally going to get a chance to sing or is one of the alumni going to walk through the door again? Oh, Kitty, it's like you've been here for years. Will points out the audience will be made up of tweens, a very vicious audience, so the kids should pair up to come up with a setlist for Myron's party. Mason heads for Jane, but Madison (and a sorta creepy POV camera) attaches herself to him and takes him away.

After the break, it's back to the lounge where Beiste is devouring lunch in even more of a bestial manner than ever before, and Sue looks like a zombie (or Dianna after a day of being punished for being above Ryan's scripts I mean with her shooting schedule) because she's been acting as Myron's slave complete with Vitamin B drips, eight hour pitch , and reading the Torah out loud. Quite a good comparison, then. Will tells her that she shouldn't be doing it, and she says that once she's given him a good performance she'll be free. But she'll need the staff's help with it. They'll be joining New Directions as part of Myron's entertainment, replacing his back-up dancers. Beiste asks why he has to join in, and Sue says that they'll both look like fools but at least they'll ''both'' look like fools instead of just her. Cut to Jane as Mason snuck away to ask her to swap duet partners. She asks if he's cleared it with his sister, and he says they can be a secret. Ah, the words to anyone's heart. He says it's because he's a badass, and she's pretty sure he isn't, asking how he can be a badass and a cheerleader. Santana managed it perfectly well, and so does Kitty. Cut to Spencer sending Roderick up the rope and calling him pathetic when he doesn't listen to his advice. Spencer pulls him up, saying he won't help him if he doesn't try and Roderick says that he's only helping him to impress Alistair, but Alistair doesn't like him because he's a dick. Cut back to Mason telling Madison that they're switching partners because he wants to sing with Jane -- Madison argues that he's already done that and he needs to keep singing with her. Mason, then makes the mistake of telling her not to be so controlling. Guess how she reacts. Go on, guess. Yep. Jane then comes up says that it'd be easier if they stuck with their original partners. Ouch. Cut to Spencer approaching Alistair, but before he can get there the other boy walks away (wait, didn't Roderick say he had no friends? And one has conveniently appeared for a single episode arc) so, naturally, we cue the Cure. Did we mention our disappointment at him becoming your average CampGay. Murphy just can't help himself, can he? [[SarcasmMode It's cool, though]], (it is in Murphy's mind) because being all sappy is unexpected for what of his character we've been able to juice out of this season so far which makes the series more divergent. Apparently. To be fair, truth be told, Marshall Williams does manage to make this crush look somewhat cute, that and his pipes are pretty good for his only solo. Unfortunately, what's not good is Spencer still pissed at Roderick for not getting him in with Alistair. Roderick again calls him a dick and Rachel is appalled as we go to break.

We're back to abnormal business with the second least watched episode in all of ''Glee'' history at 1.69m, presumably because people saw the trailer with a boy mini-Rachel and decided that they never need to see that -- Blainchel are already annoying enough. The least watched episode? [[Recap/GleeS6E06WhatTheWorldNeedsNow Three episodes prior at 1.58m]]. Also a little warning that about the time this episode was written, Creator/RyanMurphy realized that he hasn't managed to make a clean sweep of TVTropes and started writing in all the plot devices he could find and even unearth. We'll get an obvious one this episode.

This was the second least watched episode in all of ''Glee'' history at 1.69m, presumably because people saw the trailer with a boy mini-Rachel and decided that they never need to see that -- Blainchel are already annoying enough. The least watched episode? [[Recap/GleeS6E06WhatTheWorldNeedsNow Three episodes prior at 1.58m]]. Also a little warning that about the time this episode was written, RyanMurphy realized that he hasn't managed to make a clean sweep of TVTropes and started writing in all the plot devices he could find and even unearth.

Sue is now in charge of all [=McKinley=] Phys Ed now, even though she's principal, because she's shouting at the boys to start doing their fitness test. Roderick and Spencer have quickly become almost-friends, and are in PE together, because Roderick isn't happy that Spencer is helping someone clearly able to do sit-ups when he can't. Yes, ''Glee'' has now gone and actually reduced Spencer to his sexuality because he spends all episode being Kurt from seasons 1 and 2 pining over this hippie. The hippie is called Alistair. Sue then gets Roderick to climb the rope, and everyone (except Spencer, Alistair and the staff) laughs at him when he can't. When they leave the class, Spencer tells Roderick to try harder because he needs stamina in glee, and Roderick says Spencer should help him train if he's so concerned. Then Spencer notices that Roderick is friends with Alistair and shows off to him, deciding to help Roderick.

Superintendent Harris is now very important, after that little thing he did earlier in the season that caused it to happen. For some reason, because of that and/or routinely doing Sue's bidding, he wants a favor: his nephew's bar mitzvah is coming up soon and he wants the glee club to critique his performance, because it needs to be perfect. The gold-spandexed boy, played by comedian J.J. Totah, then does a performance that literally makes Rachel [[IncrediblyLamePun lose her breath]]. Clearly, she misses Dear Lucille more than she realized. They applaud him, but he wants real constructive criticism, people, and this ends up with him firing all of his back-up dancers because Kitty says they might be able to smile some more. He already told them that. Kitty and Myron - the kid - immediately become rivals, and not just because they both love the spotlight and have the same range. Still, Myron wants New Directions to do a set at his party. Sue says they accept. Because, as always, we can spot the inevitable a mile away, it would surprise no one to learn that by the end of the episode, Myron manages to get onto the team even though he's thirteen, in addition to the guy that will become Spencer's boyfriend.

They must have been doing PE together for years, how has Spencer never noticed Alistair before? And immediately knows that he's gay? Speaking of other couples that make themselves inevitable this episode, Mason goes to talk to Jane. After their duet, he likes her. Jane tells him she got a C, so maybe the school isn't doing that great or maybe it has something to do with glee club, and he says that when he's sad he goes to Breadstix. She asks if it's good, and we're shouting at him to leave her innocent. Sadly, he tells her how it was infested with cockroaches. {{Squick}}. Madison then approaches and says that Mason can't take Jane out because they have to stick to their diet. Poor cheerleaders, they bring up not eating too much. At least they didn't mention Sue's Master Cleanse. That is the stuff of nightmares. Much like Ryan Murphy's brain.

Mason apparently has no male friends (that Murphy is paying), as he got Spencer and Roderick to give him advice on women. Spencer immediately excuses himself, and does become a stereotypical "girls have cooties" gay. Headdesk & Facepalm. They have ruined the only thing that made him unique in this show: nothing was about how he was gay. He liked it that way. So did we. Mason reels him back in by saying the problem lies with his sister not wanting him to date, to which they ask if the [[{{Twincest}} twins are dating]]. "That's not funny any more"; "But, seriously, aren't you guys dating?" Being completely useless, Mason then asks one of them to take Madison out so that she's distracted. They both proceed to glare at him like he's as stupid as he totally is. Spencer then makes the conversation about Alistair, and how he's going to work out and land a date.

Will asks Rachel what music the kids like. She says they're all very quiet. Will tells her to shut up for once and actually give them a chance to talk. Now it's Rachel's turn to go off at him? No, she agrees and then Will says that doing the bar mitzvah will solidify them as a team. He also wants to let the kids pick their own songs. They then go to introduce the lesson to the glee club, Kitty asking if they're finally going to get a chance to sing or is one of the alumni going to walk through the door again? Oh, Kitty, it's like you've been here for years.

Will says the kids should pair up to come up with a setlist for Myron's party and as Mason heads over to Jane, Madison attaches herself to him and takes him away. In the staff room, Beiste is devouring lunch in even more of a bestial manner than ever before, and Sue looks like a zombie (or Dianna after a day of being punished [[strike:for being above Ryan's scripts]] with her shooting schedule) because she's been acting as Myron's slave. Quite a good comparison, then. Will tells her that she shouldn't be doing it, and she says that once she's given him a good performance she'll be free. But she'll need the staff's help with it. They'll be joining New Directions as part of Myron's entertainment, replacing his back-up dancers. Beiste asks why he has to join in, and Sue says that they'll both look like fools but at least they'll ''both'' look like fools instead of just her.

Mason sneaks away from his sister to ask Jane to swap duet partners. She asks if he's cleared it with his sister, and he says they can be a secret. Ah, the words to anyone's heart. He says it's because he's a badass, and she's pretty sure he isn't, asking how he can be a badass and a cheerleader. Santana managed it perfectly well, and so does Kitty. Cut to Spencer sending Roderick up the rope and calling him pathetic when he doesn't listen to his advice. Spencer pulls him up, saying he won't help him if he doesn't try and Roderick says that he's only helping him to impress Alistair, but Alistair doesn't like him because he's a dick. Mason then tells Roderick and Madison that they're switching partners because he wants to sing with Jane -- Madison argues that he's already done that and he needs to keep singing with her. Then shouts at him that she isn't controlling so Jane comes up and says that it'd be easier if they stuck with their original partners.

Spencer approaches Alistair but before he can get there the other boy walks away (wait, didn't Roderick say he had no friends? And one has conveniently appeared for a single episode arc) so starts singing a girly song. Did we mention our disappointment at him becoming your average CampGay. Murphy just can't help himself, can he? [[SarcasmMode It's cool, though]], (it is in Murphy's mind) because being all sappy is unexpected for what of his character we've been able to juice out of this season so far which makes the series more divergent. Apparently. To be fair, truth be told, Marshall Williams does manage to make this crush look somewhat cute.

The bar mitzvah arrives, being held in the auditorium suddenly, and they're all dressed in blue sequins. Myron gets trapped in the pod he was going to use for his entrance. Guess what, somebody needs to climb up a rope to help him ''break free'' (which could have been the title of this episode, given how relevant it is to everything, but Music/TRex did a song called "Child Star") and Sue tells Spencer to get on up there. You know what's coming: Spencer says Roderick can do it, Alistair is watching from somewhere in the back or a balcony or the rafters, good god could this BE anymore telegraphed. When he gets Myron down, the boy says he thinks he's crapped himself and Kitty delegates Jane to get baby wipes and gummy bears. Some of New Directions go to keep the crowd happy, and then Kitty changes Myron because they have to reinforce how young and small this thirteen year old is. Sue tries to get out of doing the staff dance, but Will calls her what sounds like "Lucy Q" but we think is actually "Suzie Q". They disappear for Spencer to walk in, finding Alistair playing the ukulele. Clearly the hippie wants to join glee, why hasn't he already? Surely his best friend Roderick already asked? Are we really trying to apply logic to ''Glee''? The boys end up kissing, and at least it's not more Klaine (of course, this being the only episode they're not in since season 2 there had to be another source of HoYay to make up for it).

Myron finally gets to perform, with the ''Michael'' lights now spelling out his name. But the episode isn't over! Oh, no, Superintendent Harris announces that Myron is joining [=McKinley=] and New Directions, the announcement made by Myron kicking Sue in the shins. Finnegan would be proud. Myron and Kitty become best rivals. We wish there was more of them interacting like this, especially when Myron has to stand on a stool to meet her eye-level. Clearly, bitchy respects bitchy. He gives her money for lending him underwear, and she shoves it in her bra because she definitely deserves cash. He then tries to literally kiss her ass on their way to the auditorium for the final performance, in which they try to out-sing and upstage each other. Kitty wins, but eventually lets Myron get some singing and not being hidden behind everyone done.

Mason sneaks away from his sister to ask Jane to swap duet partners. She asks if he's cleared it with his sister, and he says they can be a secret. Ah, the words to anyone's heart. He says it's because he's a BadAss, and she's pretty sure he isn't, asking how he can be a badass and a cheerleader. Santana managed it perfectly well, and so does Kitty. Cut to Spencer sending Roderick up the rope and calling him pathetic when he doesn't listen to his advice. Spencer pulls him up, saying he won't help him if he doesn't try and Roderick says that he's only helping him to impress Alistair, but Alistair doesn't like him because he's a dick. Mason then tells Roderick and Madison that they're switching partners because he wants to sing with Jane -- Madison argues that he's already done that and he needs to keep singing with her. Then shouts at him that she isn't controlling so Jane comes up and says that it'd be easier if they stuck with their original partners.

This was the second least watched episode in all of ''Glee'' history at 1.69m, presumably because people saw the trailer with a boy mini-Rachel and decided that they never need to see that -- Blainchel are already annoying enough. The least watched episode? [[Recap/GleeS6E06WhatTheWorldNeedsNow Two episodes prior at 1.58m]]. Also a little warning that about the time this episode was written, RyanMurphy realized that he hasn't managed to make a clean sweep of TVTropes and started writing in all the plot devices he could find and even unearth.

Will asks Rachel what music the kids like. She says they're all very quiet. Will tells her to shut up for once and actually give them a chance to talk. Now it's Rachel's turn to have a go at him? No, she agrees and then Will says that doing the bar mitzvah will solidify them as a team. He also wants to let the kids pick their own songs. They then go to introduce the lesson to the glee club, Kitty asking if they're finally going to get a chance to sing or is one of the alumni going to walk through the door again? Oh, Kitty, it's like you've been here for years.

Will says the kids should pair up to come up with a setlist for Myron's party and as Mason heads over to Jane, Madison attaches herself to him and takes him away. In the staff room, Beiste is devouring lunch in even more of a bestial manner than ever before, and Sue looks like a zombie (or Dianna after a day of being punished [[strike]]for being above Ryan's scripts[[/strike]] with her shooting schedule) because she's been acting as Myron's slave. Quite a good comparison, then. Will tells her that she shouldn't be doing it, and she says that once she's given him a good performance she'll be free. But she'll need the staff's help with it. They'll be joining New Directions as part of Myron's entertainment, replacing his back-up dancers. Beiste asks why he has to join in, and Sue says that they'll both look like fools but at least they'll ''both'' look like fools instead of just her.

Spencer approaches Alistair but before he can get there the other boy walks away (wait, didn't Roderick say he had no friends? And one has conveniently appeared for a single episode arc) so starts singing a girly song. Did we mention out disappointment at him becoming your average CampGay. Murphy just can't help himself, can he? It's cool, though, because being all sappy is unexpected for what of his character we've been able to juice out of this season so far which makes the series more divergent. Apparently. Plus, truth be told, Marshall Williams does manage to make this crush look somewhat cute.

This was the second least watched episode in all of ''Glee'' history at 1.69m, presumably because people saw the trailer with a boy mini-Rachel and decided that they never need to see that -- Blainchel are already annoying enough. The least watched episode? [[Recap/GleeS6E06WhatTheWorldNeedsNow Two episodes prior]]. Also a little warning that about the time this episode was written, RyanMurphy realized that he hasn't managed to make a clean sweep of TVTropes and started writing in all the plot devices he could find and even unearth.

This was the second least watched episode in all of ''Glee'' history, presumably because people saw the trailer with a boy mini-Rachel and decided that they never need to see that -- Blainchel are already annoying enough. The least watched episode? I don't know, scan the back end of season 5. Also a little warning that about the time this episode was written, RyanMurphy realised that he hasn't managed to make a clean sweep of TVTropes and started writing in all the plot devices he could find and even unearth.

Superintendent Harris is now very important, after that little thing he did earlier in the season that caused it to happen. For some reason, because of that and/or routinely doing Sue's bidding, he wants a favor: his nephew's bar mitzvah is coming up soon and he wants the glee club to critique his performance, because it needs to be perfect. The gold-spandexed boy, played by comedian J.J. Totah, then does a performance that literally makes Rachel [[IncrediblyLamePun lose her breath]]. They applaud him, but he wants real constructive criticism, people, and this ends up with him firing all of his back-up dancers because Kitty says they might be able to smile some more. He already told them that. Kitty and Myron - the kid - immediately become rivals, and not just because they both love the spotlight and have the same range. Still, Myron wants New Directions to do a set at his party. Sue says they accept. We're guessing that by the end of the episode, Myron manages to get onto the team even though he's thirteen. Also the guy that will become Spencer's boyfriend.

They must have been doing PE together for years, how has Spencer never noticed Alistair before? And immediately knows that he's gay? Speaking of other couples that make themselves inevitable this episode, Mason goes to talk to Jane. After their duet, he likes her. Jane tells him she got a C, so maybe the school isn't doing that great or maybe it has something to do with glee club, and he says that when he's sad he goes to Breadstix. She asks if it's good, and we're shouting at him to leave her innocent. Sadly, he tells her how it was infested with cockroaches. {{Squick}}. Madison then approaches and says that Mason can't take Jane out because they have to stick to their diet. Poor cheerleaders, they bring up not eating too much.

Mason apparently has no male friends (that Murphy is paying), as he got Spencer and Roderick to give him advice on women. Spencer immediately excuses himself, and does become a stereotypical "girls have cooties" gay. They have ruined the only thing that made him unique in this show: nothing was about how he was gay. He liked it that way. So did we. Mason reels him back in by saying the problem lies with his sister not wanting him to date, to which they ask if the [[{{Twincest}} twins are dating]]. "That's not funny any more"; "But, seriously, aren't you guys dating?" Being completely useless, Mason then asks one of them to take Madison out so that she's distracted. They both proceed to glare at him like he's as stupid as he totally is. Spencer then makes the conversation about Alistair, and how he's going to work out and land a date.

Will asks Rachel what music the kids like. She says they're all very quiet. Will tells her to shut up for once and actually give them a chance to talk. Now it's Rachel's turn to have a go at him? No, she agrees and then Will says that doing the bar mitzvah will solidify them as a team. He also wants to let the kids pick their own songs. They then go to introduce the lesson to the glee club, Kitty asking if they're finally going to get a chance to sing or is one of the alumni going to walk through the door again?

Will says the kids should pair up to come up with a setlist for Myron's party and as Mason heads over to Jane, Madison attaches herself to him and takes him away. In the staff room, Beiste is devouring lunch in even more of a bestial manner than ever before, and Sue looks like a zombie (or Dianna after a day of being punished with her shooting schedule) because she's been acting as Myron's slave. Quite a good comparison, then. Will tells her that she shouldn't be doing it, and she says that once she's given him a good performance she'll be free. But she'll need the staff's help with it. They'll be joining New Directions as part of Myron's entertainment, replacing his back-up dancers. Beiste asks why he has to join in, and Sue says that they'll both look like fools but at least they'll ''both'' look like fools instead of just her.

Spencer approaches Alistair but before he can get there the other boy walks away (wait, didn't Roderick say he had no friends? And one has conveniently appeared for a single episode arc) so starts singing a girly song. Did we mention out disappointment at him becoming your average CampGay. Murphy just can't help himself, can he? It's cool, though, because being all sappy is unexpected for what of his character we've been able to juice out of this season so far which makes the series more divergent. Apparently.

The bar mitzvah arrives, being held in the auditorium suddenly, and they're all dressed in blue sequins. Myron gets trapped in the pod he was going to use for his entrance. Guess what, somebody needs to climb up a rope to help him ''break free'' (which could have been the title of this episode, given how relevant it is to everything, but Music/TRex did a song called "Child Star") and Sue tells Spencer to get on up there. You know what's coming: Spencer says Roderick can do it. Let me guess, Alistair is watching from somewhere in the back or a balcony or the rafters? When he gets Myron down, the boy says he thinks he's crapped himself and Kitty delegates Jane to get baby wipes and gummy bears. Some of New Directions go to keep the crowd happy, and then Kitty changes Myron because they have to reinforce how young and small this thirteen year old. Sue tries to get out of doing the staff dance, but Will calls her what sounds like "Lucy Q" but we think is actually "Suzie Q". They disappear for Spencer to walk in, finding Alistair playing the ukulele. Clearly the hippie wants to join glee, why hasn't he already? Surely his best friend Roderick already asked? Are we really trying to apply logic to ''Glee''? The boys end up kissing, and at least it's not more Klaine (of course, this being the only episode they're not in since season 2 there had to be another source of HoYay to make up for it).

Myron finally gets to perform, with the ''Michael'' lights now spelling out his name. But the episode isn't over! Oh, no, Superintendent Harris announces that Myron is joining [=McKinley=] and New Directions. Myron and Kitty become best rivals. We wish there was more of them interacting like this, especially when Myron has to stand on a stool to meet her eye-level. He gives her money for lending him underwear, and she shoves it in her bra because she definitely deserves cash. He then tries to literally kiss her ass on their way to the auditorium for the final performance, in which they try to out-sing and upstage each other. Kitty wins, but eventually lets Myron get some singing and not being hidden behind everyone done.

This was the second least watched episode in all of ''Glee'' history, presumably because people saw the trailer with a boy mini-Rachel and decided that they never need to see that -- Blainchel are already annoying enough. The least watched episode? I don't know, scan the back end of season 5. Also a little warning that about the time this episode was written, RyanMurphy realised that he hasn't managed to make a clean sweep of TVTropes and starting writing in all the plot devices he could find and even unearth.

The bar mitzvah arrives, being held in the auditorium suddenly, and they're all dressed in blue sequins. Myron gets trapped in the pod he was going to use for his entrance. Guess what, somebody needs to climb up a rope to help him ''break free'' (which could have been the title of this episode, given how relevant it is to everything, but Music/TRex did a song called "Child Star") and Sue tells Spencer to get on up there. You know what's coming: Spencer says Roderick can do it. Let me guess, Alistair is watching from somewhere in the back or a balcony or the rafters? When he gets Myron down, the boy says he thinks he's crapped himself and Kitty delegates Jane to get baby wipes and gummy bears. Some of New Directions go to keep the crowd happy, and then Kitty changes Myron because they have to reinforce how young and small this thirteen year old. Sue tries to get out of doing the staff dance, but Will calls her what sounds like "Lucy Q" but we think is actually "Suzie Q". They disappear for Spencer to walk in, finding Alistair playing the ukulele. Clearly the hippie wants to join glee, why hasn't he already? Surely his best friend Roderick already asked? Are we really trying to apply logic to ''Glee''? The boys end up kissing, and at least it's not more Klaine (of course, this being the only episode they're not in since season 2 there had to be other gays to make up for it).

This was the second least watched episode in all of ''Glee'' history, presumably because people saw the trailer with a boy mini-Rachel and decided that they never need to see that -- Blainchel are already annoying enough. The least watched episode? I don't know, scan the back end of season 5.

Superintendent Harris is now very important, after that little thing he did earlier in the season that caused it to happen. For some reason, because of that and/or routinely doing Sue's bidding, he wants a favor: his nephew's bar mitzvah is coming up soon and he wants the glee club to critique his performance, because it needs to be perfect. The gold-spandexed boy, played by comedian J.J. Totah, then does a performance that literally makes Rachel [[IncrediblyLamePun lose her breath]]. They applaud him, but he wants real constructive criticism, people, and this ends up with him firing all of his back-up dancers because Kitty says they might be able to smile some more. He already told them that. Kitty and Myron - the kid - immediately become rivals, and not just because they both love the spotlight and have the same range. Still, Myron wants New Directions to replace the professional dancers and also do a set at his party. Sue says they accept. We're guessing that by the end of the episode, Myron manages to get onto the team even though he's thirteen. Also the guy that will become Spencer's boyfriend.

%%WIP

* "Uptown Funk" by Music/MarkRonson feat. Music/BrunoMars, performed by Roderick, Jane, and Spencer with New Directions
* "Break Free" by Music/ArianaGrande feat. Music/{{Zedd}}, performed by Myron, Rachel, Will, Sam, Beiste, Will and Sue
* "Cool Kids" by Music/{{Echosmith}}, performed by New Directions (inc. Myron and Alistair)