History Recap / GleeS5E8PreviouslyUnairedChristmas

After that intro, we're back in December 2012... with plenty of AnachronismStew .[[note]]To elaborate, among others, Sam has his Season 5 long hair, Will's supposed to be in DC, there's little to no mention of Brittany (other than some BlatantLies to be spewed later on), and no mention at all of Sugar or Joesus, though of course in Sugar's case the absence is excused because time machine and Brit's helping her with it; thankfully we don't have to relive the hideousness that was Bram. Sadly, there's one [[Creator/CoryMonteith other]] who's missing for obvious reasons. Also, though it wasn't shown on camera, it can be presumed Jake & Marley were still together at this point.[[/note]] Will suggests a "green" theme for Christmas, tying into an apparent room decorating contest. Wait, at [=McKinley=]? No wonder this was "shelved". Tina and Trouty (this was set after he swallowed Brittany, therefore the nickname returns) are in charge, and the prize is a glass angel. Well at least it's not yet another trip to Breadstix. After Tina flexes ego as it pertains to using the glass angel for luck in finding a prom date ("next" episode was ''[[Recap/GleeS4E11SadieHawkins Sadie Hawkins]]'' so she's not far off), Blaine tries to flex vocals, but EVERYONE SHUTS HIM UP. Praise and hit the standard TitleCard.

Cut to a club created just for this episode: Christmas Club, led by Beiste. VP Artie says the manger set up outside has been defaced because [=McKinley=], but Figgins wants ND to be a "living manger scene." Tina reacts to all of this in a way that makes us glad the end of Jenna's tenure is drawing near. Jake is Joseph, while Unique wants the Virgin Mary. This of course cues Kitty, not yet having become human, to snark, followed by Marley verbalizing the ForegoneConclusion that she's untouched. Kitty tries to snark at that (''"That's a shocker. To think nobody's tickled inside your musty, mildewed granny panties except for the family of crickets that nest in there".''), but Marley checkmates (''"Yeah well, you wear a smaller bra than me".''). Game, set, Rose. Cut to Bushwick, where we find Kurt taking a creepy styling head out of a box and sharing egg nog with Santana, who also gives him a trip to Dildo Island.[[note]]Yes, it's a real place on the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labrador.[[/note]] Santana is supposed to be in Kentucky, though it's presumed that she was visiting on what is assumed to be a holiday break. Rachel returns, obviously surprised to see her, then announces they have a job as mall elves. Oh boy. Well, they don't have the diner yet, so this'll do. Though Kurt still has his Vogue.com job, so hmm. Anyway, the idea is a lot of Broadway hotshots bring their kids to this mall, so this is a chance to mingle. Cut to Trouty babbling about "carbon footprints" to Tina, wanting to use real trees and pinecones for the manger scene. No Trouty, stop. Fortunately, Becky spares us the trouble, though she does have what appears to be mistletoe on her head... yep, this is a Becky at her most aroused... and loose. I need a drink. Trouty says his lips are for consent only, but at this point Becky is clearly channeling her alternate universe self from the "aired" Christmas episode. Thankfully, Sue arrives to point out that as we'd surmised, the "mistletoe" is poison sumac. Which apparently makes people horny. Nonetheless, she tells her to get lost and announces she's judging the Christmas tree decorating contest, another [=McKinley=] tradition we haven't seen. This leads to a standard Sue rant, comparing a supposed ND tree to those who reside in NY. Because Sue. After her jazz hands, yes, we cut to a NY mall, which has no Santa, but instead three elves clearly regretting a lot of things in their lives. Santa arrives and as per Glee, he's had a few nips of the "special" egg nog. We can tell because he goes right for Kurt, telling him off in stereotypes. Drunken Creeper Santa then stumbles off leaving the elves to handle the kids. Rachel, knowing what to do, send Kurt to a tiny and conveniently placed piano for some "Here Comes Santa Claus". And little people. It's weird. For Glee, it's Thursday. Afterwards, the kids, not wanting to deal with minions, attack as we go to break.

We return for the home stretch, Trouty and Tina giving the angel to Becky by telling her there was a recount and she won. Cut to a still recovering Hummelpezberry, deflated over being robbed. And no, let's not get into how they supposedly get their stuff back in time for the next episode. Santana says she could never live at Bushwick, and of course give it three episodes from this slot for her to be proven wrong. Rachel says the "Bad Santa" cleared out the Santa area at the mall, and of course they're fired. However, she's undeterred, and has another job for them. Cut to the nativity scene, where we find Becky has gotten the part of the baby Jesus. Yes. Kitty arrives and we close with "Away in a Manger", cut between ND and Hummelpezberry in a store display as human mannequins. Glee bless us everyone.

Cut to a club created just for this episode: Christmas Club, led by Beiste. VP Artie says the manger set up outside has been defaced because [=McKinley=], but Figgins wants ND to be a "living manger scene." Tina reacts to all of this in a way that makes us glad the end of Jenna's tenure is drawing near. Jake is Joseph, while Unique wants the Virgin Mary. This of course cues Kitty, not yet having become human, to snark, followed by Marley verbalizing the ForegoneConclusion that she's untouched. Kitty tries to snark at that (''"That's a shocker. To think nobody's tickled inside your musty, mildewed granny panties except for the family of crickets that nest in there".''), but Marley checkmates (''"Yeah well, you wear a smaller bra than me".''). Game, set, Rose. Cut to Bushwick, where we find Kurt taking a creepy styling head out of a box and sharing egg nog with Santana, who also gives him a trip to Dildo Island.[[note]]Yes, it's a real place on the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labrador.[[/note]] Santana is supposed to be in Kentucky, though it's presumed that she was visiting on what is assumed to be a holiday break. Rachel returns[[note]]from having spent time under the mistletoe with Dear Lucille[[/note]], obviously surprised to see her, then announces they have a job as mall elves. Oh boy. Well, they don't have the diner yet, so this'll do. Though Kurt still has his Vogue.com job, so hmm. Anyway, the idea is a lot of Broadway hotshots bring their kids to this mall, so this is a chance to mingle. Cut to Trouty babbling about "carbon footprints" to Tina, wanting to use real trees and pinecones for the manger scene. No Trouty, stop. Fortunately, Becky spares us the trouble, though she does have what appears to be mistletoe on her head... yep, this is a Becky at her most aroused... and loose. I need a drink. Trouty says his lips are for consent only, but at this point Becky is clearly channeling her alternate universe self from the "aired" Christmas episode. Thankfully, Sue arrives to point out that as we'd surmised, the "mistletoe" is poison sumac. Which apparently makes people horny. Nonetheless, she tells her to get lost and announces she's judging the Christmas tree decorating contest, another [=McKinley=] tradition we haven't seen. This leads to a standard Sue rant, comparing a supposed ND tree to those who reside in NY. Because Sue. After her jazz hands, yes, we cut to a NY mall, which has no Santa, but instead three elves clearly regretting a lot of things in their lives. Santa arrives and as per Glee, he's had a few nips of the "special" egg nog. We can tell because he goes right for Kurt, telling him off in stereotypes. Drunken Creeper Santa then stumbles off leaving the elves to handle the kids. Rachel, knowing what to do, send Kurt to a tiny and conveniently placed piano for some "Here Comes Santa Claus". And little people. It's weird. For Glee, it's Thursday. Afterwards, the kids, not wanting to deal with minions, attack as we go to break.

We return to the auditorium, where Artie/Beiste/Will handle Virgin Mary auditions. First and only is the ND women minus Kitty doing "Mary's Boy Child / O My Lord", which suddenly turns into {{Fanservice}} as Tina and Marley rip off their shaules to reveal eyes full of legs. Yes. Afterwards, Kitty walks out due to reasons which again we'll get to later. Cut back to the mall, where Hummelpezberry are fearful for their safety at the hands of angry children, when what to thy wondering eyes should appear but a slab of Christmas beefcake, timing so dear. He offers to bail the three out, Kurt stammering as his tights tighten. He offers dinner at ''their'' place, which puts up a red and green flag that things aren't as they seem. We'll get a visual of that as we cut to Sue announcing the winner of the tree decorating contest and you can here the disappointment in Sue's voice as ND gets the duke. This of course leads to a xylophone in Becky's warpath. Cut to Will and Beiste posting up the cast list for the living nativity, with Marley, natch, as Mary. Kitty says as much, then we get the truth: with someone like her, someone who enjoys control, especially over couplings due to trauma and [[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation repressions]], Kitty reveals she wants to be Mary, but doesn't feel worthy, because she's "more like Mary Magdelene." Kitty, you really shouldn't worry, since Mary M was at least Jesus' financial supporter and possibly even his wife, way more important than Momma. Do your homework. Back to Bushwick, where Rachel is taking down the ornaments, apparently Kurt wants a tree-trimming party. Okay, let's just say that what's to come for the Bushwick 2+1 can be summed up by Kurt thinking with the wrong head. Therefore, we're gonna say "Kurt, you're an idiot" now, so we don't have to later. Anyway, "Hot Santa" arrives before the break. We return to see him get an eyeful of the hovel, really getting the details... he then reaches into his sack, ha ha, and pulls out a helium tank, because that's the kind of thing everyone brings to a party. Now, let's see. Christmas plus helium plus Glee. Yes folks, Hummelpezberry get their [[Franchise/AlvinAndTheChipmunks Bagdasarian]] on for a little "Christmas Don't Be Late". Afterwards, ''really'' in the spirit, Pezberry find Drunk Hummel and Hot Santa indisposed; they are disgusted and impressed. The three then indulge in some hot buttered rum "Hot Santa" prepared as we go to break.

We return for the home stretch, Trouty and Tina giving the angel to Becky by telling her there was a recount and she won. Cut to a still recovering Hummelpezberry, deflated over being robbed. And no, let's not get into how they supposedly get their stuff back in time for the next episode. Santana says she could never live at Bushwick, and of course give it three episodes from this slot for her to be proven wrong. Rachel says the "Bad Santa" cleared out the Santa area at the mall, and of course they're fired. However, she's undeterred, and has another job for them. Cut to the nativety scene, where we find Becky has gotten the part of the baby Jesus. Yes. Kitty arrives and we close with "Away in a Manger", cut between ND and Hummelpezberry in a store display as human mannequins. Glee bless us everyone.

Welcome to Glee's final ChristmasEpisode... sorta. See, due to having the in-universe school year end before the actual season does, in Glee-time it's just after the Prom, so in-universe we're around May 2013, compared to December 2013 when this episode aired. Therefore, to fix this, we have to have some sort of work around, and thus we begin in a festive living room with an OOC Creator/JaneLynch, putting coal in the stockings of Cloris Leachman, Creator/MerylStreep, Creator/MelissaMccarthy, and Edie Falco. She explains that ''[[Recap/GleeS4E10GleeActually Glee, Actually]]'' was in fact a replacement episode for one called "Rough Trade Santa", a episode that evidently had {{Network/FOX}} executives in horror. However, due to "fans begging", the episode will air heavily edited.[[note]]One supposedly set of DeletedScenes would've explained why Will returned to Lima instead of staying in DC after his blue ribbon panel ended. TBH, we would've loved to have seen them.[[/note]]

Cut to a club created just for this episode: Christmas Club, led by Beiste. VP Artie says the manger set up outside has been defaced because [=McKinley=], but Figgins wants ND to be a "living manger scene." Tina reacts to all of this in a way that makes us glad the end of Jenna's tenure is drawing near. Jake is Joseph, while Unique wants the Virgin Mary. This of course cues Kitty, not yet having become human, to snark, followed by Marley verbalizing the ForegoneConclusion that she's untouched. Kitty tries to snark at that (''"That's a shocker. To think nobody's tickled inside your musty, mildewed granny panties except for the family of crickets that nest in there".''), but Marley checkmates (''"Yeah well, you wear a smaller bra than me".''). Game, set, Rose. Cut to Bushwick, where we find Kurt taking a creepy styling head out of a box and sharing egg nog with Santana, who also gives him a trip to Dildo Island.[[note]]Yes, it's a real place on the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labrador.[[/note]] Santana is supposed to be in Kentucky, though it's presumed that she was visiting on what is assumed to be a holiday break. Rachel returns, obviously surprised to see her, then announces they have a job as mall elves. Oh boy. Well, they don't have the diner yet, so this'll do. Though Kurt still has his Vogue.com job, so hmm. Anyway, the idea is a lot of Broadway hotshots bring their kids to this mall, so this is a chance to mingle. Cut to Trouty babbling about "carbon footprints" to Tina, wanting to use real trees and pinecones for the manger scene. No Trouty, stop. Fortunately, Becky spares us the trouble, though she does have what appears to be mistletoe on her head... yep, this is a Becky at her most aroused... and loose. I need a drink. Trouty says his lips are for consent only, but at this point Becky is clearly channeling her alternate universe self from the "aired" Christmas episode. Thankfully, Sue arrives to point out that as we'd surmised, the "mistletoe" is poison sumac. Which apparently makes people horny. Nonetheless, she tells her to get lost and announces she's judging the Christmas tree decorating contest, another [=McKinley=] tradition we haven't seen. This leads to a standard Sue rant, comparing a supposed ND tree to those who reside in NY. Because Sue. After her jazz hands, yes, we cut to a NY mall, which has no Santa, but instead three elves clearly regretting a lot of things in their lives. Santa arrives and as per Glee, he's had a few nips of the "special" egg nog. We can tell because he goes right for Kurt, telling him off in stereotypes. Drunken Creeper Santa then stumbles off leaving the elves to handle the kids. Rachel, knowing what to do, send Kurt to a tiny and conveniently placed piano for some "Here Comes Santa Claus". And little people. It's weird. For Glee, it's Thursday. Afterwards, the kids, not wanting to deal with minions, attack as we go to break.

Because Season Four and Five were stretched out over two years, in Glee-time it's just after the Prom, so...May? To fix this and still have a Christmas episode, Sue introduces Glee's "Previously Unaired Christmas Episode", an episode FOX seemingly rejected for being too sexy. This was apparently supposed to be in place of "[[Recap/GleeS4E10GleeActually Glee, Actually]]".

After Will, who is supposed to be in Washington at this point, suggests a "green" theme for Christmas, the rest of the Glee club is shown in yet another school club we haven't seen before: Christmas club. The gang agrees to be a "living manger scene." All the girls (minus Sugar, who along with Brittany is not seen, both taking time out of working on their [[{{Fanon}} time machine]] and trying to wipe the drool off of Trouty to spend some [[{{Fanon}} mother-daughter]] time for Christmas) want to play Mary. Cut to Kurt taking a creepy head out of a box and sharing egg nog with Santana, who has just dumped Brittany and supposed to be in Kentucky, though it's established that she was visiting on what is assumed to be a holiday break. Rachel, after getting off the phone with Quinn (and in turn, getting off to Quinn's voice)[[note]]Hey, there's no mention of Brody, we're allowed.[[/note]], is surprised to see her, anyway, when she comes in and announces they have a job as mall elves.

Sam and Tina are discussing some Mexican stereotypes when Becky interrupts, continuing Season 5's WTF theme. Something about mouth sex and poison sumac on her head. Sue tells her to get lost and announces she's judging the Christmas tree decorating contest, another [=McKinley=] tradition we haven't seen in five years. She runs off making jazz hands and we cut to Kurt and Rachel in their elf costumes. Drunken Creeper Santa tells off Kurt without actually saying "gay," and then they all sing. It's weird. For Glee, it's Thursday. The kids start a riot. Bitch-Kitty Kitty-bitches when Marley suggests they all audition together. Why do they keep trying to be her friend? Santana found a bathtub in the mall somewhere; Kurt and Rachel interrupt to tell her she has to come back and be Mrs. Claus because Drunk Santa's nowhere to be found. A montage of Santana ruining childhood follows. Kitty walks out of Virgin Mary auditions. Cut back to the mall. Hot Santa!

Back at [=McKinley=], the winners of the Christmas tree decorating contest and the Virgin Mary auditions are announced. Kitty reveals she wants to be Mary, but doesn't feel worthy, because she's "more like Mary Magdelene." Kitty, you really shouldn't worry, since Mary M was at least Jesus' financial supporter and possibly even his wife, way more important than Momma. Do your homework.

Hot Santa pulls out a helium tank, because that's the kind of thing everyone brings to a party. The gang ties him up with tinsel and party games ensue. Yes, they're drunk. But it's all a ruse--he's a Bad Santa, who proceeds to roofie the girls and clean the apartment out.

Back at [=McKinley=], the girls hold a dress-rehearsal and portray the BVM as offensively as possible, to manipulate Kitty into performing the role "the right way." It works. Sam and Tina give their ugly plastic angel to Becky. Rachel convinces Santana and Kurt that despite their bad experiences, the mall (wearing evening clothes) really is the place to be on Christmas.

* "Mary's Boy Child / O My Lord" - Performed by Marley, Unique, and Tina

* "Love Child" - Performed by Unique with New Directions

* AnachronismStew: This is supposedly set in Season 4, yet Sam has his Season 5 long hair, as mentioned Will's supposed to be in Washington, there's little to no mention of Brittany (other than [[BlatantLies Santana saying Brit dumped her]]), and no mention at all of Sugar, Joe, or Finn for obvious reasons. Also, though it wasn't shown on camera, it can be presumed Jake & Marley were still together at this point.
* DemotedToExtra: This was the final episode with the S4 Newbies having any relevance whatsoever. Beginning with the next episode, and continuing up to their departure (sans Kitty) in "[[Recap/GleeS5E13NewDirections New Directions]]", they were slowly phased out of the show; their character arcs had tied into Finn's, so with his death, they were made redundant; with the exception of a few token scenes, they would no longer serve any purpose to the story.

* AnachronismStew: This is supposedly set in Season 4, yet Sam has his Season 5 long hair, as mentioned Will's supposed to be in Washington, there's little to no mention of Brittany (other than [[BlatantLies Santana saying Brit dumped her]]), and no mention at all of Sugar, Joe, or Finn for obvious reasons. Also, though it wasn't shown on camera, it can be presumed Jake & Marley were still together at this point.

* AnachronismStew: This is supposedly set in Season 4, yet Sam has his Season 5 long hair, as mentioned Will's supposed to be in Washington, there's little to no mention of Brittany (other than [[BlatantLies Santana saying Brit dumped her]], and no mention at all of Sugar, Joe, or Finn for obvious reasons. Also, though it wasn't shown on camera, it can be presumed Jake & Marley were still together at this point.

After Will, who is supposed to be in Washington at this point, suggests a "green" theme for Christmas, the rest of the Glee club is shown in yet another school club we haven't seen before: Christmas club. The gang agrees to be a "living manger scene." All the girls (minus Sugar, who along with Brittany is not seen, both taking time out of working on their [[{{Fanon}} time machine]] and trying to wipe the drool off of Trouty to spend some [[{{Fanon}} mother-daughter]] time for Christmas) want to play Mary. Cut to Kurt taking a creepy head out of a box and sharing egg nog with Santana, who has just dumped Brittany and supposed to be in Kentucky, though it's established that she was visiting on what is assumed to be a holiday break. Rachel, after getting off the phone with Quinn (and in turn, getting is surprised to see her, anyway, when she comes in and announces they have a job as mall elves.

!!! Plot

Because Season Four and Five were stretched out over two years, in Glee-time it's just after the Prom, so...May? To fix this and still have a Christmas episode, Sue introduces Glee's "Previously Unaired Christmas Episode", an episode FOX seemingly rejected for being too sexy. This was apparently supposed to be in place of "Glee, Actually".

After Will suggests a "green" theme for Christmas, the rest of the Glee club is shown in yet another school club we haven't seen before: Christmas club. The gang agrees to be a "living manger scene." All the girls want to play Mary. Cut to Kurt taking a creepy head out of a box and sharing egg nog with Santana, who has just dumped Brittany (who is not seen of course) and supposed to be in Kentucky. We think. Rachel is surprised to see her, anyway, when she comes in and announces they have a job as mall elves.

Sam and Tina are discussing some Mexican stereotypes when Becky interrupts, continuing Season 5's WTF theme. Something about mouth sex and poison sumac on her head. Sue tells her to get lost and announces she's judging the Christmas tree decorating contest, another [=McKinley=] tradition we haven't seen in five years. She runs off making jazz hands and we cut to Kurt and Rachel in their elf costumes. Drunken Creeper Santa tells off Kurt without actually saying "gay," and then they all sing. It's weird. The kids start a riot. Bitch-Kitty Kitty-bitches when Marley suggests they all audition together. Why do they keep trying to be her friend? Santana found a bathtub in the mall somewhere; Kurt and Rachel interrupt to tell her she has to come back and be Mrs. Claus because Drunk Santa's nowhere to be found. A montage of Santana ruining childhood follows. Kitty walks out of Virgin Mary auditions. Cut back to the mall. Hot Santa!

Hot Santa pulls out a helium tank, because that's the kind of thing everyone brings to a party. The gang ties him up with tinsel and party games ensue. Yes, they're drunk. But it's all a ruse--he's a Bad Santa.

!!! Tropes

Sam and Tina are discussing some Mexican stereotypes when Becky interrupts, continuing Season 5's WTF theme. Something about mouth sex and poison sumac on her head. Sue tells her to get lost and announces she's judging the Christmas tree decorating contest, another McKinley tradition we haven't seen in five years. She runs off making jazz hands and we cut to Kurt and Rachel in their elf costumes. Drunken Creeper Santa tells off Kurt without actually saying "gay," and then they all sing. It's weird. The kids start a riot. Bitch-Kitty Kitty-bitches when Marley suggests they all audition together. Why do they keep trying to be her friend? Santana found a bathtub in the mall somewhere; Kurt and Rachel interrupt to tell her she has to come back and be Mrs. Claus because Drunk Santa's nowhere to be found. A montage of Santana ruining childhood follows. Kitty walks out of Virgin Mary auditions. Cut back to the mall. Hot Santa!

Back at McKinley, the winners of the Christmas tree decorating contest and the Virgin Mary auditions are announced. Kitty reveals she wants to be Mary, but doesn't feel worthy, because she's "more like Mary Magdelene." Kitty, you really shouldn't worry, since Mary M was at least Jesus' financial supporter and possibly even his wife, way more important than Momma. Do your homework.

Back at McKinley, the girls hold a dress-rehearsal and portray the BVM as offensively as possible, to manipulate Kitty into performing the role "the right way." It works. Sam and Tina give their ugly plastic angel to Becky. Rachel convinces Santana and Kurt that despite their bad experiences, the mall (wearing evening clothes) really is the place to be on Christmas.

!!! Tropes

After Will suggests a "green" theme for Christmas, the rest of the Glee club is shown in yet another school club we haven't seen before: Christmas club. The gang agrees to be a "living manger scene." All the girls want to play Mary. Cut to Kurt taking a creepy head out of a box and sharing egg nog with Santana, who has just broken up with Brittany and supposed to be in Kentucky. We think. Rachel is surprised to see her, anyway, when she comes in and announces they have a job as mall elves.

Because Season Four and Five were stretched out over two years, in Glee-time it's just after the Prom, so...May? To fix this and still have a Christmas episode, Sue introduces Glee's "Previously Unaired Christmas Episode."

* "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)"
* "Love Child"
* "Away in a Manger"