History Quotes / ViceCity

->'''Marty [=McFly=]:''' I mean, how can all this be happening? It's like we're in Hell or something.\\ '''Doc Brown:''' No, it's Hill Valley. Although I can't imagine Hell being much worse!

->''♫ (...)And who knows what Evil lurks in the hearts of men today?\\

[[AC:Video Games]]

[[AC:Anime and Manga]]

->'''Ken:''' What did you find out?\\
'''Tommy:''' That there are more criminals in this town than in prison.
-->-- ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoViceCity''

[[AC:Comic Books]]

->''The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists, and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout, 'Save us!'...and I’ll look down and whisper, "No."''
-->-- '''Rorschach''', ''Comicbook/{{Watchmen}}''

->''I can see a blatantly unarmed Transient man with [[FacialHorror half his face hanging off]], and three cops working him over anyway. One of them is groping his own erection.\\
I’m sorry. Is that too harsh an observation for you? Does that sound too much like the truth?\\
Fuck you.\\
If anyone in this shithole city gave two tugs of a dead dog’s crotch about Truth, this wouldn’t be happening.''
-->-- '''Spider Jeruselem''', ''{{ComicBook/Transmetropolitan}}''

[[AC:Film -- Live-action]]

->'''Ben Quick''': What happens if a federal man comes by?\\
'''1st Resident''': Oh, they've been known to come by. [[TheCoronerDothProtestTooMuch Also been known to disappear.]]\\
'''2nd Resident''': Well, not entirely.\\
'''1st Resident''': No, not entirely. The missing man's shoes might show up, or his hat; maybe even his suspenders. Of course, somebody else is wearing them.
-->--''Film/TheLongHotSummer''

->"Old Detroit has a cancer. That cancer is crime."
-->--'''Old Man''', ''Film/RoboCop1987''

->'''Harvey Dent''' (on television): Together, we can make this city safe for decent people!\\
'''[[ComicBook/TheJoker Jack Napier:]]''' Decent people shouldn't live here. They'd be happier someplace else.
-->-- ''Film/Batman1989''

->'''Liquor store owner:''' Three tours in the sandbox, not so much as a scratch. ''(at wheelchair)'' I come home to ''this'' shit.\\
'''[[ComicBook/ThePunisher Frank Castle]]:''' Always a war on somewhere.
-->-- ''Film/DirtyLaundry''

[[AC:Live-action TV]]

->"If we had to steer clear of every chow house owned by [[TheMafia the wiseguys,]] we'd have to eat all our lunches at the automat."
-->--'''Stavros''', ''{{Series/Kojak}}'' ("Monkey on a String")

->'''Guzman''': In Cali, we have ordered the deaths of judges, senators, priests, even a presidential candidate. You think we draw the line at an Assistant District Attorney?\\
'''Wainwright''': ''This is not Cali!''\\
'''Guzman''': It is now.
-->--''{{Series/Kojak}}'', "It's Always Something"

->"It's simple math...Between us, we represent 650 soldiers. Y'all know how many cops come to the 55th Precinct a day? [[MoreCriminalsThanTargets Seventy]]. And that's only ''if'' they all show up."
-->-- '''Dante''', ''Series/ThirdWatch'' ("Kingpin Rising")

->'''Keppler''': Hear you got one of the fastest growing murder rates in the country.\\
'''Brass''': [[GallowsHumor We're very competitive!]]
-->-- ''Series/{{CSI}}'', "Sweet Jane"

->"Are hard narcotics part of some heath care plan? They're so easy to get in this city."
-->-- '''Gunter''', ''Series/BulletInTheFace''

[[AC:Stand-up Comedy]]

->"I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot."
-->-- '''Creator/ChrisRock'''

[[AC:Theatre]]

->''"They 'do' nothing, Countess. They feel nothing, make nothing, give nothing. The poets, the jugglers, the innocents, all are disappearing. The world’s been taken over by the pimps. The rest of us are finished. They want to make us all like them."''
-->-- '''Ragpicker''', ''The Madwoman of Chaillot''

->'''Doctor''': Did he die of natural causes?\\
'''Niko''': A gunshot to the head. I guess that's pretty natural for this town.
-->-- ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoIV''

->"[[{{MegaCorp}} Dexter Industries,]] [[GangOfHats the Cougars,]] [[DirtyCop the police;]] Hope is a town under siege. Someone ought to clean the place up. [[ImNotAHeroIm But I am not that man."]]
-->-- ''VideoGame/HitmanAbsolution''

->"So the cops pull me over, and you know what? They couldn't care less about the car. That's the irony! It's some kinda 'If You Drink, Don't Drive' campaign. All they want is for me to blow into a breathalyzer, I kid you not. So with a breath of relief, I take the damn test, and just when it's over, when they're about to wave me on my way--! The cop's eyes zoom in and stop on somethin' stickin' out from under the seat. Game over. A fucking '''gun'''! I didn't even know it was there; musta belonged to the owner. Unlicensed! Turns out it's a murder weapon! How fucked up is that?"
-->-- A hapless '''car thief''', ''VideoGame/MaxPayne2TheFallOfMaxPayne''

->'''Matt:''' April wraps up her report and heads home from the station. And as a woman walking home at night, she obviously gets mugged immediately.\\
'''Chris''': I actually do like that she just kind of stumbles on part of the Silent Crime Wave. Like, she’s not targeted for [[HeKnowsTooMuch reporting about it or getting to close to the truth,]] there’s just so much crime going on that she literally cannot walk 20 feet without running into a gang of toughs ripping monitors out of a news van.
-->-- Chris Sims and Matt Wilson [[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-reviews-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-1990-part-one/ on]] ''Film/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles1990''

->''I'm not sure where the writer grew up, but every neighborhood in ''Traxx'' seems to be made entirely out of exploding rape. Traxx's solution to this crime problem is to go into seedy locations, [[CowboyCop kill everyone there]] and say something like "Better luck next time, rape!"''
-->-- '''Creator/{{Seanbaby}}''', "The Six Most Spectacular Low Points of Pop Culture"

->''The level of police corruption that exists in ''Daredevil'' borders on the absurd. ''“You find anyone alive, shoot ’em in the head,”'' the officer overseeing the search shouts. His men reply ''“got it”'' and ''“roger that.”'' It seems as though the police force in Daredevil is as much a hostile occupying force as a law enforcement agency. The suggestion that most of Hell’s Kitchen police department is [[IOwnThisTown a giant roving death squad]] for Wilson Fisk fits with the atmosphere of the show and explains why Matt feels the need to take the law into his own hands.''
-->-- '''[[http://them0vieblog.com/2015/04/18/daredevil-condemned-review/ Darren Mooney]]''' on ''{{Series/Daredevil 2015}}''

->''The story of Gouda Prime is a gripping one, a planet that draws every crook and swindler in the quadrant to steal its riches. Precisely the sort of place where Blake would be holed up and where Avon and his crew should avoid if they want to live to tell the tale. Precisely the sort of doom-laden planet to set the last episode of Blake's 7 on.''
-->-- '''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2015/04/extraordinary-pieces-of-television.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''Series/BlakesSeven'', "Blake"

->''Leave it to a {{UsefulNotes/Boston}} fan to take two horrific crimes and use them as [[ItsAllAboutMe a way of complimenting themselves]]. OW-AHHHH DOUBLE MURDAHS AHHHH NAWT LIKE YOUR-AHHH DOUBLE MURDAHS! It's the double murder that gives our chowder its distinctive coloring! ...If anything, Boston sports teams give Tommy from Quinzee an excuse to get shitfaced and burn down the local Korean packie store.''
-->-- '''[[http://www.gq.com/blogs/the-feed/2015/04/aaron-hernandez-hot-takes.html Drew Magary]]'''

->''Drug dealers aren't afraid of saying they're drug dealers [[{{UsefulNotes/Mexico}} here]]. Every single cartel has its own logo. You join the right one, you might even get a monogrammed tote bag. People brag about their cartel affiliation on Facebook. The cartels post pictures of the corpses of murdered bloggers and opponents, and people 'like' that stuff as if they were adorable cat pictures. It's called narcoculture, and it's what happens when you deal with different murderous gangs long enough that they become like sports teams to you.''
-->-- '''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21367_6-ways-life-in-cartel-run-mexico-nothing-like-you-imagine.html#ixzz352pVMF9l "6 Ways Life in Cartel-Run Mexico is Nothing Like You Imagine"]]

[[AC:Web Video]]

->'''[[Creator/BenCroshaw Yahtzee]]:''' Yes, we're being mugged for our ''[[JunkRare shoes]]''. 'Cause that's the kind of [[BadFuture dystopian future]] it is: People like having shoes so much, they have getaway vehicles on hand for it. They were planning this heist for ''months'', man!
-->-- '''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgU-KA46THc Let's Play]]''' ''{{VideoGame/Dreamweb}}''

[[AC:RealLife]]

->"...a damned crazy place! No one's safe in the streets!"
-->-- '''Charles "Lucky" Luciano''' on Prohibition-era {{UsefulNotes/Chicago}}

->''And the pistol's red glare\\
The bombs bursting in air\\
Gave proof through the night\\
That UsefulNotes/{{Chicago}}'s still there!''
-->-- '''A UsefulNotes/NewYork Newspaper''' parodying the National Anthem

->There’s a noose that hangs at the entrance to the city. It’s a message to be read by all who encounter it. For the cautious, the sane, it’s a warning. For the reckless, the wild at heart, an invitation...the edge of the world, the crucible of hypocrisy, a place where those whose souls have been destroyed in the relentless search for money and power reside. [[WelcomeToHell A final stop on the way to hell.]]

->The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists, and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout, 'Save us!'...and I’ll look down and whisper, 'No'

->I can see a blatantly unarmed Transient man with [[FacialHorror half his face hanging off]], and three cops working him over anyway. One of them is groping his own erection.\\

If anyone in this shithole city gave two tugs of a dead dog’s crotch about Truth, this wouldn’t be happening.

->Old Detroit has a cancer. That cancer is crime.

'''Jack Napier:''' Decent people shouldn't live here. They'd be happier some place else.

->'''Keppler''': Hear you got one of the fastest growing murder rates in the country.\\
'''Brass''': [[GallowsHumor We're very competitive!]]
-->-- ''Series/{{CSI}}'', "Sweet Jane"

->If we had to steer clear of every chow house owned by the wiseguys, we'd have to eat all our lunches at the automat.

->Are hard narcotics part of some heath care plan? They're so easy to get in this city.
-->-- '''Gunter''', ''Series/BulletInTheFace''

->It's simple math...Between us, we represent 650 soldiers. Y'all know how many cops come to the 55th Precinct a day? [[MoreCriminalsThanTargets Seventy]]. And that's only ''if'' they all show up.
-->-- '''Dante''', ''Series/ThirdWatch'' ("Kingpin Rising")

->I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
-->-- '''[[strike:[[Series/PimpMyRide Xzibit]]]] Creator/ChrisRock'''

->They "do" nothing, Countess. They feel nothing, make nothing, give nothing. The poets, the jugglers, the innocents, all are disappearing. The world’s been taken over by the pimps. The rest of us are finished. They want to make us all like them.

->Great people here! You can trust everything they say!

->[[{{MegaCorp}} Dexter Industries]], [[GangOfHats the Cougars]], [[DirtyCop the police]].... Hope is a town under siege. Someone ought to clean the place up. But I am not that man.

->So the cops pull me over, and you know what? They couldn't care less about the car. That's the irony! It's some kinda 'If You Drink, Don't Drive' campaign. All they want is for me to blow into a breathalyzer, I kid you not. So with a breath of relief, I take the damn test, and just when it's over, when they're about to wave me on my way--! The cop's eyes zoom in and stop on somethin' stickin' out from under the seat. Game over. A fucking '''gun'''! I didn't even know it was there; musta belonged to the owner. Unlicensed! Turns out it's a murder weapon! How fucked up is that?
-->-- '''Car thief''', ''VideoGame/MaxPayne2TheFallOfMaxPayne''

'''Chris''': I actually do like that she just kind of stumbles on part of the Silent Crime Wave. Like, she’s not targeted for [[HeKnowsTooMuch reporting about it or getting to close to the truth]], there’s just so much crime going on that she literally cannot walk 20 feet without running into a gang of toughs ripping monitors out of a news van.
-->-- '''Chris Sims''' and '''Matt Wilson''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-reviews-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-1990-part-one/ on]] ''Film/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles1990''

->I'm not sure where the writer grew up, but every neighborhood in ''Traxx'' seems to be made entirely out of exploding rape. Traxx's solution to this crime problem is to go into seedy locations, [[CowboyCop kill everyone there]] and say something like 'Better luck next time, rape!'

->The level of police corruption that exists in ''Daredevil'' borders on the absurd. ''“You find anyone alive, shoot ’em in the head,”'' the officer overseeing the search shouts. His men reply ''“got it”'' and ''“roger that.”'' It seems as though the police force in Daredevil is as much a hostile occupying force as a law enforcement agency. The suggestion that most of Hell’s Kitchen police department is [[IOwnThisTown a giant roving death squad]] for Wilson Fisk fits with the atmosphere of the show and explains why Matt feels the need to take the law into his own hands.

->The story of Gouda Prime is a gripping one, a planet that draws every crook and swindler in the quadrant to steal its riches. Precisely the sort of place where Blake would be holed up and where Avon and his crew should avoid if they want to live to tell the tale. Precisely the sort of doom-laden planet to set the last episode of Blake's 7 on.

->Leave it to a {{UsefulNotes/Boston}} fan to take two horrific crimes and use them as [[ItsAllAboutMe a way of complimenting themselves]]. OW-AHHHH DOUBLE MURDAHS AHHHH NAWT LIKE YOUR-AHHH DOUBLE MURDAHS! It's the double murder that gives our chowder its distinctive coloring! ...If anything, Boston sports teams give Tommy from Quinzee an excuse to get shitfaced and burn down the local Korean packie store.

->Drug dealers aren't afraid of saying they're drug dealers [[{{UsefulNotes/Mexico}} here]]. Every single cartel has its own logo. You join the right one, you might even get a monogrammed tote bag. People brag about their cartel affiliation on Facebook. The cartels post pictures of the corpses of murdered bloggers and opponents, and people 'like' that stuff as if they were adorable cat pictures. It's called narcoculture, and it's what happens when you deal with different murderous gangs long enough that they become like sports teams to you.

->The Butcher Blades had hung the Jackdaw from a rusted marlinspike through his jawbone and left him for the quayside scavengers. This was the seventeenth murdered ganger the hooded man had seen tonight. A slow night by Bilgewater's standards.

-->-- '''Charles "Lucky" Luciano''' on Prohibition-era Chicago

'''[[ThePunisher Frank Castle]]:''' Always a war on somewhere.

-->-- '''A NewYork Newspaper''' parodying the National Anthem

-->-- '''Gunter''', ''Film/BulletInTheFace''

-->-- ''Film/{{Batman}}''

-->-- '''Shadow and Fortune''', '''[[https://universe.leagueoflegends.com/en_GB/story/shadow-and-fortune-story/]]'''

-->-- '''{{Seanbaby}}''', "The Six Most Spectacular Low Points of Pop Culture"

-->-- '''Car thief''', ''[[VideoGame/MaxPayne Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne]]''

-->-- '''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgU-KA46THc Let's Play]]''' ''{{Dreamweb}}''

-->--'''[[strike:[[Series/PimpMyRide Xzibit]]]] Creator/ChrisRock'''

-->--'''Ragpicker''', ''The Madwoman of Chaillot''

-->-- Chris Sims and Matt Wilson [[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-reviews-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-1990-part-one/ on]] ''Film/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles''

-->--'''[[http://them0vieblog.com/2015/04/18/daredevil-condemned-review/ Darren Mooney]]''' on ''{{Series/Daredevil 2015}}''

-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2015/04/extraordinary-pieces-of-television.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''Series/BlakesSeven'', "Blake"

-->--'''[[http://www.gq.com/blogs/the-feed/2015/04/aaron-hernandez-hot-takes.html Drew Magary]]'''

-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21367_6-ways-life-in-cartel-run-mexico-nothing-like-you-imagine.html#ixzz352pVMF9l "6 Ways Life in Cartel-Run Mexico is Nothing Like You Imagine"]]

-->--'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgU-KA46THc Let's Play]]''' ''{{Dreamweb}}''

-->--'''Charles "Lucky" Luciano''' on Prohibition-era Chicago

-->--'''A NewYork Newspaper''' parodying the National Anthem

>Leave it to a {{UsefulNotes/Boston}} fan to take two horrific crimes and use them as [[ItsAllAboutMe a way of complimenting themselves]]. OW-AHHHH DOUBLE MURDAHS AHHHH NAWT LIKE YOUR-AHHH DOUBLE MURDAHS! It's the double murder that gives our chowder its distinctive coloring! ...If anything, Boston sports teams give Tommy from Quinzee an excuse to get shitfaced and burn down the local Korean packie store.

-->--'''<strike>[[Series/PimpMyRide Xzibit]]</strike> Creator/ChrisRock'''

!!!Quotes from works
->Great people here! You can trust everything they say!
-->-- '''A [[BlatantLies respectable denizen]] of Zozo''', ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVI''

->They "do" nothing, Countess. They feel nothing, make nothing, give nothing. The poets, the jugglers, the innocents, all are disappearing. The world’s been taken over by the pimps. The rest of us are finished. They want to make us all like them.
-->--'''Ragpicker''', ''The Madwoman of Chaillot''

->Are hard narcotics part of some heath care plan? They're so easy to get in this city.
-->-- '''Gunter''', ''Film/BulletInTheFace''

->'''Keppler''': Hear you got one of the fastest growing murder rates in the country.\\
'''Brass''': [[GallowsHumor We're very competitive!]]
-->-- ''Series/{{CSI}}'', "Sweet Jane"

->The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists, and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout, 'Save us!'...and I’ll look down and whisper, 'No'
-->-- '''Rorschach''', ''Comicbook/{{Watchmen}}''

->I can see a blatantly unarmed Transient man with [[FacialHorror half his face hanging off]], and three cops working him over anyway. One of them is groping his own erection.\\
I’m sorry. Is that too harsh an observation for you? Does that sound too much like the truth?\\
Fuck you.\\
If anyone in this shithole city gave two tugs of a dead dog’s crotch about Truth, this wouldn’t be happening.
-->-- '''Spider Jeruselem''', ''{{ComicBook/Transmetropolitan}}''

->There’s a noose that hangs at the entrance to the city. It’s a message to be read by all who encounter it. For the cautious, the sane, it’s a warning. For the reckless, the wild at heart, an invitation they cannot refuse. The worst of the criminal underworld gather here. They come here from across the world to butt heads and jostle for power. An evil city caught between the east and the west founded during the UsefulNotes/ColdWar and nurtured by many who came here to ride the wave of the illegal drug trade sweeping across the continent. The edge of the world, the crucible of hypocrisy, a place where those whose souls have been destroyed in the relentless search for money and power reside. [[WelcomeToHell A final stop on the way to hell.]]
-->-- '''[[ActionSurvivor Rock]]''', ''Manga/BlackLagoon''

!!!Quotes from RealLife

->'''[[Creator/BenCroshaw Yahtzee]]:''' Yes, we're being mugged for our ''[[JunkRare shoes]]''. 'Cause that's the kind of [[BadFuture dystopian future]] it is: People like having shoes so much, they have getaway vehicles on hand for it. They were planning this heist for ''months'', man!
-->--'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgU-KA46THc Let's Play]]''' ''{{Dreamweb}}''

->''And the pistol's red glare\\
The bombs bursting in air\\
Gave proof through the night\\
That UsefulNotes/{{Chicago}}'s still there!''
-->--'''A NewYork Newspaper''' parodying the National Anthem

->I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
-->--'''Creator/ChrisRock'''

->Leave it to a {{UsefulNotes/Boston}} fan to take two horrific crimes and use them as [[ItsAllAboutMe a way of complimenting themselves]]. OW-AHHHH DOUBLE MURDAHS AHHHH NAWT LIKE YOUR-AHHH DOUBLE MURDAHS! It's the double murder that gives our chowder its distinctive coloring! ...If anything, Boston sports teams give Tommy from Quinzee an excuse to get shitfaced and burn down the local Korean packie store.

->As kickoff occurred, the gentleman who customarily sat to my right had yet to arrive. He showed up halfway through the first quarter, grinning from ear to ear as he brandished his bloody hands, having apparently been "kicking some Cowboy fan ass in the parking lot." This gentleman (whom I am compelled to add was but one member of a large group of Teamsters that sat in our section and tended to behave with all the decorum for which the Teamsters are so justifiably renowned) proceeded to shake a half-dozen beer cans out of the sleeves of his jacket, scan the crowd for Cowboys fans, and, finding one 10 rows down, popped a can and threw it so that it hit the poor schmuck in back of his head, exploding on impact.\\\
Soaked and dazed, [[DeadManWalking the guy unwisely stood up]], turned around and demanded -- profanely -- to know who had thrown the can. At this point, the Teamsters (and much of the rest of the section) jumped to their feet and charged -- not down the aisles, mind you, but over the seats which declined downward at a steep angle. The Cowboys fan [[ZergRush was subsumed in a mass of drunken, howling rage]], and until the cops arrived, all that could be seen him were bits of his jersey that were being torn off and thrown from the scrum.\\\
When the cops arrived, they [[MiscarriageOfJustice arrested the Cowboys fan for disturbing the peace]]. I had to explain to my wife that this was pretty much an average Sunday at the Vet.
-->--'''''Deadspin''''', [[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2013-philadelphia-eagles-1250826152 "Why Your Team Sucks 2013: Philidelphia Eagles"]]