History Quotes / TheMuppetShow

-->-- From the Gene Kelly episode. This was the series finally.

->'''Cloro=is Leachman:''' Kermit, It is you.

->'''Kermit the Frog:''' THAT'S A BOLD FACE LIE, PIGGY! I WILL NOT STAND AROUND WHEN YOU DUMB THINGS LIKE THAT, PIGGY! YOU HAVE DONE THIS TO ME TOO MANY TIMES, PIGGY! I WILL NOT STAND FOR FOR IT! I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT!\\

''(Everyone laughs.)''

->'''Statler:''' "Hey Berle! You know what? I've just figured out your style. You work like Gregory Peck."
->'''Berle:''' "Wha - Gregory Peck's not a comedian!"
->'''Statler:''' "Well..."
->'''Berle:''' "Now just a minute, please. I've been a successful comedian for half my life!"
->'''Waldorf:''' "How come we got '''this''' half?"
->'''Berle:''' "Look, did you come in here to be entertained or not?"
->'''Statler:''' "That's right."
->'''Berle:''' "What?"
->'''Waldorf:''' "We came in here to be entertained, and we're not."

-> '''Statler:''' "The question is; what ''is'' a Mahna Mahna?
-> '''Waldorf:''' "The question is; [[DeadpanSnarker who cares?"]]

->'''Big Bird:''' "Oh, hi! I'm Big Bird!"
->'''Miss Piggy:''' ''[looking him up and down]'' "No kidding."
->'''Big Bird:''' "I'm a friend of Kermit's. We both come from the same neighborhood, Series/SesameStreet."
->'''Miss Piggy:''' "Ah! Isn't that the cute little children's show with puppets?"

->'''Beauregard:''' "I sent Beaker to get the power saw."
->'''Kermit the Frog:''' "Is that wise?"
->'''Beauregard:''' "Oh sure, he's okay."
->'''Kermit the Frog:''' "He's dumber than you are."
->'''Beauregard:''' "He is not!"

->'''Kermit the Frog:''' THAT'S A BOLD FACE LIE, PIGGY! I WILL NOT STAND AROUND WHEN YOU DUMB THINGS LIKE THAT, PIGGY! YOU HAVE DONE THIS TO ME TOO MANY TIMES, PIGGY! I WILL NOT STAND FOR FOR IT! I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT!
->'''Miss Piggy:''' What are you going to me, now?
->'''Kermit the Frog:''' I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I AM GOING TO DO, PIGGY. I AM GOING TO FIRE YOU! PIGGY, YOU ARE FIRED! YOU ARE FIRED, PIGGY! YOU ARE FIRED, FIRED!
->'''Miss Piggy:''' But I am in then next number!
->'''Kermit the Frog:''' I WILL CAN (To the intercom) Uh, Cancel the next number. Bring the snorers chorus instead.

->'''Loretta Swit:''' Now, Kermit. Who is going to replace a talent, and a verb?
->'''Kermit the Frog:''' Well, In Vet's Hospital, I wonder if you could be in it?
->'''Loretta Swit:''' (GASP) I LOVE TOO!
->'''Kermit the Frog:''' Oh, Good!
->'''Loretta Swit:''' Will the clothes fit?
->'''Kermit the Frog:''' Why sure! Anybody can do that.
->'''Tongue Magazine Photographer:''' Hey Miss Piggy, Do you work here?
->'''Miss Piggy:''' HAI-YAH! (Kicks the photographer)

->'''Kermit the Frog:''' Usually at this time, I would have said "We will see you again next time on ''The Muppet Show''" to the audience. But do you mind saying good night to audience, your way?
->'''Roy Rogers:''' Well, I'll be glad to, Kermit. (To the audience) "Until we meet again, On screen or in person, Good night, Good luck, And make the good lord take a liking on you!"

->'''Kermit the Frog:''' (Depressing) Thank you, And welcome to the very moment of the Muppet Show. I am sorry guys, But I have some bad news.
->'''Statler:''' I think we made it at last.
->'''Waldorf:''' Could be, or maybe the show is cancelled.
->'''Kermit the Frog:''' I just misread my calender, The show has been cancelled because we are doing an audition. You are welcome to see the audition, But I don't know if they are very excitement. Good night everybody.
->*Audience leave the theatre in disappointment*

->'''Kermit the Frog:''' (As he on the stage set for the closing number of the Sylvester Stallone episode) Well, We all had fun today. And I know there nothing more to say about it. But before we go, We want to say a warm thank you to our special guest star, Sylvester Stallone! YAYYYYYYYYY!
->'''Sylvester Stallone:''' (Cheering up a bit) Well, Kermit, I had a wonderful time. I hope I didn't hurt you by talking to the punching bag.
->'''The Punching Bag:''' Come on, Stallone. Give us this on for old time sake.
->'''Sylvester Stallone:''' Well, Okay. (As he punches the punching bag)
->'''Kermit the Frog:''' Well, Anyways, We wil see you again next time on ''The Muppet Show!'' You are a wonderful laugh track.

->'''Kermit the Chicken:''' Well, This is Kermit the Chicken saying we all had fun today. But before we go, let us give out a warm thank you to our special guest star, Mr. Roger Miller! YAYYYYYYYYY!
->'''Roger Miller:''' Well, Kermit. I had a great time. And it appears that you have some bad case of Cluckitis.
->'''Kermit the Chicken:''' You know all about Cluckitis?
->'''Roger Miller:''' I used to have one along time ago. But in the few days, It went away, And I turn back into a human.
->'''Gonzo:''' And I am glad I don't have Cluckitis.
->'''Kermit the Chicken:''' Well, We will see you again next time on ''the Muppet Show!''

-->--'''Kermit the Frog''' giving '''Loretta Swit''' and offer on replacing Miss Piggy on Vets Hospital after Kermit fires Miss Piggy.

-->-- '''Homer Simpson''' attempts to describe the Muppets in ''TheSimpsons'' episode "A Fish Called Selma"

-->--'''[[StatlerAndWaldorf Statler and Waldorf's]]''' very first [[DeadpanSnarker snarky]] comment ever on the show.

->'''Big Bird:''' "I'm a friend of Kermit's. We both come from the same neighborhood, SesameStreet."

-->--'''StatlerAndWaldorf''' very first [[DeadpanSnarker snarky]] comment ever on the show.

--> -- '''Homer Simpson''' attempts to describe the Muppets in ''TheSimpsons'' episode "A Fish Called Selma"

->Statler: "Hey Berle! You know what? I've just figured out your style. You work like Gregory Peck."
->Berle: "Wha - Gregory Peck's not a comedian!"
->Statler: "Well..."
->Berle: "Now just a minute, please. I've been a successful comedian for half my life!"
->Waldorf: "How come we got '''this''' half?"
->Berle: "Look, did you come in here to be entertained or not?"
->Statler: "That's right."
->Berle: "What?"
->Waldorf: "We came in here to be entertained, and we're not."

->Milton Berle: "I dare you guys to come down here and I'll come up there, and we'll see how you like it."
->Waldorf (to Statler): "We should do it."
->Berle: "Yeah? Can you dance?"
->Statler & Waldorf: "No."
->Berle: "Can you sing?"
->Statler & Waldorf: "No."
->Berle: "Can you tell jokes?"
->Statler & Waldorf: "No."
->Berle: "Well, what are you going to do then?"
->Statler: "Exactly what you're doing right now."
->Berle: "What? I'll have you know, I've been a great entertainer for half my life!"
->Waldorf: "Yeah? How come we got '''this''' half?"

->Rich Little: "I dare you guys to come down here and I'll come up there, and we'll see how you like it."

->Rich Little: "Yeah? Can you dance?"

->Rich Little: "Can you sing?"

->Rich Little: "Can you tell jokes?"

->Rich Little: "Well, what are you going to do then?"

->Rich Little: "What? I'll have you know, I've been a great entertainer for half my life!"

-->--'''Rich Little''' takes the usual abuse from '''Statler and Waldorf'''

->''Rich Little: "I dare you guys to come down here and I'll come up there, and we'll see how you like it."

->Waldorf: "Yeah? How come we got THIS half?"''

->''"I've been a great entertainer for half my life!"
->"Yeah? How come we got THIS half?"''
-->--'''Rich Little''' (guest star) and '''Waldorf'''

->'''Sam the Eagle:''' With a few exceptions, the characters on this program are weird and peculiar and not to be trusted.

->'''Sam the Eagle:''' With a few exceptions, the characters on this program are weird and peculiar and not to be trusted.\\