History Quotes / NoOSHACompliance

[[folder: Western Animation]]

->'''Jim:''' He fell over a railing?

->'''Jim:''' ''[[AvertedTrope There was a railing]]?''

-->-- '''Plan 7 of 9 from Outer Space'''

->''"We seem to be losing pressure on Level 17. Please hold your breath against the harsh vacuum of space until you pass out from oxygen starvation. After that, you won't care. Enjoy the ride!" \\
"Welcome to the Exotic Aquarium! Any water you may notice on the floor is [[BlatantLies the result of our diligent staff's mopping, and not evidence of a dangerous leak in the]]--[[ExplainExplainOhcrap oh heck with it, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!]]" \\

-->'''[[VideoGame/HalfLife Gordon Freeman]]''', [[Machinima/FreemansMind again]]

->''"We seem to be losing pressure on Level 17. Please hold your breath against the harsh vacuum of space until you pass out from oxygen starvation. After that, you won't care. Enjoy the ride!"''

->''"Look, mate, if you [[BookcasePassage turn a wall with a burning fire in it]], the 'effect' you'll get is a room full of smoke. I can't rotate the chimney mate. It's down to health and safety. Look, if you want to rotate this wall, here's what you need to do: fireplace decommissioned; yellow and black edging around all moving sections; clear, well lit signage stating 'Warning. This Wall May Revolve'..."

->Like I tell ya, Mr. Kent — the company knows that this vinyl chloride we work with may cause cancer — It knows that some of the guys are dying 'cause they work with the stuff — yet they don't do nuthin' —! No safety standards — No special benefits — Nuthin!

->''I'm gonna need a tetanus shot just looking at all this.''

->'''Builder''': Look, mate, if you [[BookcasePassage turn a wall with a burning fire in it]], the "effect" you'll get is a room full of smoke. I can't rotate the chimney mate. It's down to health and safety. Look, if you want to rotate this wall, here's what you need to do: fireplace decommissioned; yellow and black edging around all moving sections; clear, well lit signage stating "Warning. This Wall May Revolve"...
-->--''Series/ThatMitchellAndWebbLook''

-->--"The Chemical Worker's Song", Ron Angel

->Attention, maintenance and safety crews: you are fired. Before leaving, please make your workplace as unsafe as possible. With any luck, the trespasser will fall to his death... or be burned alive by flame jets... or crushed by giant pistons. Thank you for your understanding.

->Why is so much of our science dangerous? I say why not '''marry''' safe science if you love it so much? In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out ''because you are fired!''

->We seem to be losing pressure on Level 17. Please hold your breath against the harsh vacuum of space until you pass out from oxygen starvation. After that, you won't care. Enjoy the ride!

->How come there are so many narrow bridges with no guard rails? (and variations)

->So, you know, the lesson here is you should [[CaptainObviousAesop store your rocket fuel in good, sturdy containers.]]
-->--'''''Website/{{Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19727_6-tiny-mistakes-that-caused-apocalyptic-explosions.html "6 Tiny Mistakes That Caused Apocalyptic Explosions"]]

->Unlike other teams, the Bills don't simply hurt you emotionally. You really do get maimed or killed if you enter the stadium. They should have a yellow warning sign in the concourse that says DANGER: FALLING DRUNK PEOPLE.
-->--'''''Deadspin''''', [[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-buffalo-bills-1628452314 "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Buffalo Bills"]]

->Remember in the wonderful ''Star Trek'' parody ''Film/GalaxyQuest'' when Jason and Gwen are exploring the ship and they come across [[EternalEngine a massive set of chomper]]s in the heart of the craft that serve absolutely no purpose whatsoever but to create some false jeopardy? ''Doctor Who'' has flirted with the idea before (the giant fans in [[Recap/DoctorWhoS27E2TheEndOfTheWorld "The End of the World"]] might have served a purpose... but boy they were ridiculously giant!) but never quite as obviously as the flagpoles that come shooting out of the wall in this story for no sensible purpose. Things were getting a little slow so it feels like they are there to toss another obstacle in the way, albeit one that has been given no thought as to its purpose.
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2012/09/series-seven.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[Recap/DoctorWhoS33E10JourneyToTheCentreOfTheTARDIS "Journey to the Center of the TARDIS"]]

->The epic steel factory fight is filled with deadly stunts. Jackie is attacked by glowing red-hot steel poles. Giant metal barrels are dropped centimeters from his dong, which may be confusing since that means 'Smith' in China. And then Jackie gets kicked onto a holy-shit-real pit of hot coals... Luckily, safety rails are for capitalists, so he only had to make a 10-inch jump to get to non-flaming land.
-->--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-6-most-needlessly-dangerous-jackie-chan-stunts/#ixzz31Fq1IjOJ "The 6 Most Needlessly Dangerous Jackie Chan Stunts"]]

->This is like re-starting the [[{{Franchise/Terminator}} Skynet]] program and putting [[Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey HAL 9000 in charge of it]]. I mean, does no one see even the possibility of a problem of [[AIIsACrapshoot letting an artificial intelligence run a group of unquestioning/nearly indestructible killing machines?]] To top it all off, the base is sitting on a store of biological weaponry. So if anything did go wrong, there was no chance to bomb the base from the air, stopping the soldiers from rebelling. [[IdiotPlot Too…stupid…for words…THE PAIN!!!]]

-> My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

->Sir Giant Pink Lizard, you're under arrest! As the owner of this boss-level castle, it's your obligation to make sure all platforms are fully accessible to disabled people!

-->--''[[http://epantiras.deviantart.com/art/Mess-Perfect-2-144-328068583 Mess Perfect 2]]''

->"Mr. Johnson I think you'll be pleased with our design for the ''[[TheAllegedCar U.N.N. Paper Mache]]''. We've filled it with those [[IndianBurialGround cursed ancient artifacts they've found in the blood of murdered children.]] Also the computer has less security than you'd use for a [[HackingMinigame 'Give a Penny, Take a Penny']] tray. Oh and we've scheduled terrifying experiments on the ship [[HumanResources to give the crew something to do.]]"
-->--'''{{Website/SFDebris}}''' on ''VideoGame/SystemShock 2''

->Obi-Wan seeks Yoda's help in finding Kamino 'cause it ain't in the records. He interrupts Yoda teachin' a class... it's like a crowded public school or somethin'. All the kids are wearing these stupid helmets and deflecting lasers shot at them by from a ball that Luke used in the original ''Star Wars''... But, like, they could easily ''[[ChildrenAreAWaste cut one another]]'', right? Why aren't you doing this in a really large gym where everyone can spread out? And aren't they a little young to be handling ''lightsabers''? I mean, look how clumsy the kids are holding them, when Yoda's standing like two feet away!
-->--'''[[WebVideo/RedLetterMedia Mr. Plinkett]]''', "[[Film/AttackOfTheClones George Lucas Ruins the Force and the Lightsaber All in One Scene]]"

->Ah, a radioactive spill. Part of me wants to believe we're not ''this'' criminally incompetent, but I know better.

->''I worked b-briefly with Fischler after university. He had a tendency to compromise safety for the sake of p-pretty much everything.''
-->--'''Brains''', ''WesternAnimation/ThunderbirdsAreGo''

->"Mr. Johnson I think you'll be pleased with our design for the ''[[TheAllegedCar U.N.N. Paper Mache]]''. We've filled it with those [[IndianBurialGround cursed ancient artifacts they've found in the blood of murdered children.]] Also the computer has less security than you'd use for a [[HackingMinigame 'Give a Penny, Take a Penny']] tray. Oh and we've scheduled terrifying experiments on the ship [[HumanResources to give the crew something to do.]]"

-->-- ''IrregularWebcomic'', [[OverusedRunningGag oh, so often]]

-->--'''[[WebVideo/RedLetterMedia Mr. Plinkett]]''', "[[AttackOfTheClones George Lucas Ruins the Force and the Lightsaber All in One Scene]]"

-->-- '''[[TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2010/02/22/universal-soldier-the-return-1999-mic-rodgers/ on]] ''Film/UniversalSoldierTheReturn''

->We seem to be losing pressure on Level 17. Please hold your breath against the harsh vacuum of space until you pass out from oxygen starvation. After that, you won't care. Enjoy the ride!
-->-- '''Dr. Eggman''', ''VideoGame/SonicColors''

->'''Imperial #1''': So anyway, I says "Forget the dental plan, forget sick leave, I just want a railing! You know? One railing! Right here!"\\
'''Imperial #2''': I know. I've almost fallen over that thing so many times.
-->--''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuyPresentsLaughItUpFuzzball'' on the Death Star superlaser

[[folder:Film -- Live-Action]]

->For an historic mission, we sure got stuck with the crappiest ship possible. "Mr. Johnson I think you'll be pleased with our design for the ''[[TheAllegedCar U.N.N. Paper Mache]]''. We've filled it with [[IndianBurialGround those cursed ancient artifacts they've found in the blood of murdered children.]] Also the computer has less security than you'd use for a [[HackingMinigame 'Give a Penny, Take a Penny' tray]]. Oh and we've scheduled terrifying experiments on the ship [[HumanResources to give the crew something to do.]]"

->David's entire plan hinged on Craig not, y'know, just turning the lights on, or noticing [[EmptySwimmingPoolDive there's no water in the pool]], or just going home.\\\
--Actually, it hinged on David ''just happening'' to notice this note hanging on a bulletin board. This one, tiny, half-page, ''folded'' note from the janitor saying that the pool would be "closed". Not '''''DRAINED''''', closed.\\\
And the note wasn't for the entire school, by the way; it was addressed ''only'' to Craig, because [[IdiotPlot FUCK the other students!]] They can go jump in an empty pool like fucking lemmings as far as the janitor is concerned. But what are the odds that Craig would've actually seen this? It was folded in half, and I'm sorry, but Craig [[DumbMuscle doesn't exactly seem like the bulletin board-checking type.]] Shouldn't the janitor have left this on the doors of the actual pool area where everyone going in could see it and ''not'' die? Can you even call this a "murder"?
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' on ''Massacre at Central High''

And the not wasn't for the entire school, by the way; it was addressed ''only'' to Craig, because [[IdiotPlot FUCK the other students!]] They can go jump in an empty pool like fucking lemmings as far as the janitor is concerned. But what are the odds that Craig would've actually seen this? It was folded in half, and I'm sorry, but Craig [[DumbMuscle doesn't exactly seem like the bulletin board-checking type.]] Shouldn't the janitor have left this on the doors of the actual pool area where everyone going in could see it and ''not'' die? Can you even call this a "murder"?

->Remember in the wonderful ''Star Trek'' parody ''Film/GalaxyQuest'' when Jason and Gwen are exploring the ship and they come across [[EternalEngine a massive set of chomper]]s in the heart of the craft that serve absolutely no purpose whatsoever but to create some false jeopardy? ''Doctor Who'' has flirted with the idea before (the giant fans in [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoNSS1E2TheEndOfTheWorld}} The End of World]] might have served a purpose…but boy they were ridicuously giant!) but never quite as obviously as the flagpoles that come shooting out of the wall in this story for no sensible purpose. Things were getting a little slow so it feels like they are there to toss another obstacle in the way, albeit one that has been given no thought as to its purpose.
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2012/09/series-seven.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS33E10JourneyToTheCentreOfTheTARDIS}} "Journey to the Center of the TARDIS"]]