History Quotes / FranchiseKiller

->''"There are few topics in ''Series/DoctorWho'', or indeed, in the history of television in general as meticulously and forensically analyzed as the failures of the TV Movie. Everybody knows [[{{FOX}} what went wrong here]]... Still, in the interests of completism, let’s go ahead and rehearse the autopsy."''
-->-- '''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2012/12/clinging-to-skin-of-this-tiny-little.html Phil Sandifer]]''', "[[{{Recap/DoctorWhoTVMTheTVMovie}} The TV Movie]]"

->'''Matt:''' This is the only one of these films that has been on Netflix Watch Instantly, which is a good thing because I refuse to pay to see it. Netflix predicts I will give it [[ZeroPercentApprovalRating exactly one star.]] It’s also the lowest-rated of the ’90s movies we’ve seen on {{IMDb}}: 3.1.
->'''Chris''': There is a good reason for that: ''It is Not Very Good.''
->'''Matt''': More proof of that: This movie was so bad, it killed the comic that inspired it.
-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''Matt Wilson''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/barb-wire-pamela-anderson-movie-review-part-1/ on]] ''Film/BarbWire''

->''"This is one of the worst examples of a movie franchise that not only shot itself in the foot, it stuffed the shotgun down its pants and splattered its own genitals into the toilet with birdshot. ''Highlander 2'' also marks the first ever movie I saw in a theater where I tried to kill myself [[SuckinessIsPainful by attempting to shove my own thumb through my forehead]] and swirling it 'round to turn my frontal lobes into mashed potato."''

->''"'There can be only one' was just a saying without meaning. The Source could only be accessed by [[CareBearStare the pure of heart]], and its only reward was to give the 'winner' [[BabiesEverAfter a fucking baby]]. All the suffering, the angst, the lost loves of the series meant nothing. Connor [=MacLeod=] fought the Kurgan for ''nothing'', because the Kurgan could never have entered the Source because he wasn’t pure of heart. Duncan and Methos teaming up to stop the Four Horsemen meant ''nothing'', because the world [[TheWorldIsAlwaysDoomed still fell into chaos]] and Kronos could never have accessed the Source. Darius dying meant ''nothing'' because the thing James Horton feared – that immortals would one day rule mankind – could never have come to pass because the Source offered no power and no wisdom; it offered nothing beyond the chance to have a fucking baby...Believe it or not, this movie was not made by people who wanted to permanently kill the ''Highlander'' franchise. This was supposed to be a trilogy, theoretically kicking off a new generation of immortals [[YoungerAndHipper led by Duncan’s kid]]. If there is anything to be thankful about this movie, it’s that it was so bad that it finally killed the franchise once and for all."''
-->--'''''[[http://www.screamsheet.wordpress.com/2011/01/27/highlander-the-source-part-one/ The Screamsheet]]''''' on ''{{Franchise/Highlander}}: The Source''

->'''Matt:''' This is the only one of these films that has been on Netflix Watch Instantly, which is a good thing because I refuse to pay to see it. Netflix predicts I will give it [[ZeroPercentApprovalRating exactly one star.]] It’s also the lowest-rated of the ’90s movies we’ve seen on {{IMDb}}: 3.1.\\
'''Chris''': There is a good reason for that: ''It is Not Very Good.''\\
'''Matt''': More proof of that: This movie was so bad, it killed the comic that inspired it.

->''"'There can be only one' was just a saying without meaning. The Source could only be accessed by [[CareBearStare the pure of heart]], and its only reward was to give the 'winner' [[BabiesEverAfter a fucking baby]]. All the suffering, the angst, the lost loves of the series meant nothing. Connor [=MacLeod=] fought the Kurgan for ''nothing'', because the Kurgan could never have entered the Source because he wasn’t pure of heart. Duncan and Methos teaming up to stop the Four Horsemen meant ''nothing'', because the world [[TheWorldIsAlwaysDoomed still fell into chaos]] and Kronos could never have accessed the Source. Darius dying meant ''nothing'' because the thing James Horton feared – that immortals would one day rule mankind – could never have come to pass because the Source offered no power and no wisdom; it offered nothing beyond the chance to have a fucking baby...Believe it or not, this movie was not made by people who wanted to permanently kill the ''Highlander'' franchise. This was supposed to be a trilogy, theoretically kicking off a new generation of immortals led by Duncan’s kid. If there is anything to be thankful about this movie, it’s that it was so bad that it finally killed the franchise once and for all."''

->''"In 1995, I had no idea how ominous this innocent little sentence would become. It's a bit like watching little [[Film/TheOmen Damien Thorne]] take his first steps."''
-->--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''', re: "[[http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Batman_Forever_1995.aspx A Joel Schumacher Film"]]

->''"We have no idea where we are; we're fucked\\
Don't trust Starfleet GPS's, they suck\\
At least we'll last longer than ''[[Series/StarTrekEnterprise Enterprise]]''\\

->''"There are few topics in ''Series/DoctorWho'', or indeed, in the history of television in general as meticulously and forensically analyzed as the failures of the TV Movie. Everybody knows [[ForeignRemake what went wrong here]]... Still, in the interests of completism, let’s go ahead and rehearse the autopsy."''

->'''Matt:''' This is the only one of these films that has been on Netflix Watch Instantly, which is a good thing because I refuse to pay to see it. Netflix predicts I will give it [[DarthWiki/SoBadItsHorrible exactly one star.]] It’s also the lowest-rated of the ’90s movies we’ve seen on {{IMDb}}: 3.1.\\

->''"It's been a couple of years since ''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid3SnakeEater'' was released, so you may not remember the popular opinion of the series at the time, but it was one of skepticism to say the least. Years before, ''[[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid2SonsOfLiberty Metal Gear Solid 2]]'' left a sour taste in everyone's mouths, distancing the 'average' fan from the series in a way that seemed to threaten its very survival as a big franchise. One wrong move and the series would plunge forever into unpopularity, or, at best, become a totally niche series...Is it any coincidence, then, that the theme of ''Snake Eater'' is 'Scene'? Or rather, the times? I think not. The fact that Kojima never admitted that the twists of [=MGS2=] were a mistake, despite constant criticism, shows that he felt the game was simply misunderstood and underappreciated, not actually problematic. But if he wanted the series to complete its mission of survival, he would have to forget the past and adhere to the times."''
-->--'''Terry Wolf''' [[http://metagearsolid.org/reports_mgs3_timeschange.html "The (Philosopher's) Legacy of Metal Gear Solid 3"]]

->''There's a line even ''[Joel]'' Schumacher won't cross, and that line is defending the existence of ''Batman & Robin''. Schumacher spends the entire commentary track by himself repeatedly and earnestly apologizing for what he did. No stars to get in the way. No producers. Just an hour and a half of Schumacher pretty much going "God, I am so sorry -- I just ... [[ItSeemedLikeAGoodIdeaAtTheTime nipples? What the fuck was I thinking?]] Send me your address. I will pay you your money back." There are very few clever anecdotes, precisely zero joyful reminisces -- just a few feeble defenses that quickly give way to shameful apologizing... Take note: Moments of self-awareness like this are rare in Hollywood, and they exist only briefly, like mayflies, before being utterly obliterated by [[HookersAndBlow a mountain of cocaine.]]''
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20769_5-hilariously-awkward-meltdowns-hidden-dvd-commentaries.html#ixzz2r5nkDndY "5 Hilariously Awkward Meltdowns Hidden in DVD Commentaries"]]

->''"This is one of the worst examples of a movie franchise that not only shot itself in the foot, it stuffed the shotgun down its pants and splattered its own genitals into the toilet with birdshot. Highlander 2 also marks the first ever movie I saw in a theater where I tried to kill myself [[SuckinessIsPainful by attempting to shove my own thumb through my forehead]] and swirling it 'round to turn my frontal lobes into mashed potato."''

->'''Chris:''' I just want to confess this right up front: When I was a teen, I definitely had a ''Barb Wire'' poster on my bedroom door. I also had a poster of a Plymouth Prowler, which should give you an idea of [[TestosteronePoisoning what kind of cool teen I was.]]\\
'''Matt''': The PT Cruiser of sports cars! ...This is the only one of these films that has been on Netflix Watch Instantly, which is a good thing because I refuse to pay to see it. Netflix predicts I will give it [[DarthWiki/SoBadItsHorrible exactly one star.]] It’s also the lowest-rated of the ’90s movies we’ve seen on {{IMDb}}: 3.1.\\

->'''Chris:''' I just want to confess this right up front: When I was a teen, I definitely had a Barb Wire poster on my bedroom door. I also had a poster of a Plymouth Prowler, which should give you an idea of [[TestosteronePoisoning what kind of cool teen I was.]]\\

-->--'''DougWalker''', "''Series/StarTrekVoyager [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IH35zQYxvJ4 With Lyrics]]"

->'''Matt''': You know, I find it really interesting that the filmmakers and/or producers had enough forethought to know that this movie would basically end the franchise, at least as we’ve seen it so far. Judging by the title, anyway.\\
'''Chris''': I’ve taken to referring to it as ''X-Men 3: [[RageBreakingPoint The Last Straw]]'' myself. And you’re right: Even though the X-Men remain a fixture in movies, this one pretty much killed the main franchise. The stuff we’ve gotten out of it since – and what we’ll be taking a look at in the weeks to come – is all spin-offs and reboots. Wolverine was the only one who came out of this thing with [[CharacterDerailment people still liking him.]]
-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''Matt Wilson''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-reviews-x-men-3-the-last-stand-2006-part-on/ on]] ''[[{{Film/X-Men}} ''X-Men 3: The Last Stand]]''

->'''Matt''': I seem to have made myself pre-emptively sick with a cold this week [[SuckinessIsPainful out of fear of watching it again]]. You know, I find it really interesting that the filmmakers and/or producers had enough forethought to know that this movie would basically end the franchise, at least as we’ve seen it so far. Judging by the title, anyway.\\

->''"This is one of the worst examples of a movie franchise that not only shot itself in the foot, it stuffed the shotgun down its pants and splattered its own genitals into the toilet with birdshot. Highlander 2 also marks the first ever movie I saw in a theater where I tried to kill myself by attempting to shove my own thumb through my forehead and swirling it 'round to turn my frontal lobes into mashed potato."''
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]] [[http://www.http://spoonyexperiment.com/highlander-series/ on]] ''{{Film/Highlander}} II: The Quickening''

->''There's a line even ''[Joel]'' Schumacher won't cross, and that line is defending the existence of ''Batman & Robin''. Schumacher spends the entire commentary track by himself repeatedly and earnestly apologizing for what he did. No stars to get in the way. No producers. Just an hour and a half of Schumacher pretty much going "God, I am so sorry -- I just ... [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone nipples? What the fuck was I thinking?]] Send me your address. I will pay you your money back." There are very few clever anecdotes, precisely zero joyful reminisces -- just a few feeble defenses that quickly give way to shameful apologizing... Take note: Moments of self-awareness like this are rare in Hollywood, and they exist only briefly, like mayflies, before being utterly obliterated by [[HookersAndBlow a mountain of cocaine.]]''

->-- '''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2012/12/clinging-to-skin-of-this-tiny-little.html Phil Sandifer]]''', "[[{{Recap/DoctorWhoTVMTheTVMovie}} The TV Movie]]"

->--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''', re: "[[http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Batman_Forever_1995.aspx A Joel Schumacher Film"]]

->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20769_5-hilariously-awkward-meltdowns-hidden-dvd-commentaries.html#ixzz2r5nkDndY "5 Hilariously Awkward Meltdowns Hidden in DVD Commentaries"]]

->''In 1995, I had no idea how ominous this innocent little sentence would become. It's a bit like watching little [[Film/TheOmen Damien Thorne]] take his first steps.''
->--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''', re "[[http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Batman_Forever_1995.aspx A Joel Schumacher Film"]]

->''There's a line even Schumacher won't cross, and that line is defending the existence of ''Batman & Robin''. Schumacher spends the entire commentary track by himself repeatedly and earnestly apologizing for what he did. No stars to get in the way. No producers. Just an hour and a half of Schumacher pretty much going "God, I am so sorry -- I just ... [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone nipples? What the fuck was I thinking?]] Send me your address. I will pay you your money back." There are very few clever anecdotes, precisely zero joyful reminisces -- just a few feeble defenses that quickly give way to shameful apologizing... Take note: Moments of self-awareness like this are rare in Hollywood, and they exist only briefly, like mayflies, before being utterly obliterated by [[HookersAndBlow a mountain of cocaine.]]''

-->--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''', re "[[http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Batman_Forever_1995.aspx A Joel Schumacher Film"]]

-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20769_5-hilariously-awkward-meltdowns-hidden-dvd-commentaries.html#ixzz2r5nkDndY "5 Hilariously Awkward Meltdowns Hidden in DVD Commentaries"]]

-->--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth'''''', re "[[http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Batman_Forever_1995.aspx A Joel Schumacher Film"]]