History Quotes / Firefly

'''[=Jayne/Mal=]''': [[UnEntendre (chuckling)]]\\

->''Zoe''': [[ThisIsSomethingHesGotToDoHimself This is something the Captain has to do for himself]].\\
'''Mal''': [[DefiedTrope No! No, it's not!]] \\

Like [[GinaTorres my career]] [[ActorAllusion after]] ''Series/{{Cleopatra 2525}}''\\

Oh yeah, [[JerkAss I don't have a good side]], and you know why\\

-> ''Mal'': I don't believe there is a power in the 'verse that can stop [[GenkiGirl Kaylee]] from being cheerful. Sometimes you just wanna duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month.

->''Kaylee'': [[ChekhovsGun Compression coil busts, we're drifting...]]\\
''Mal'': [[TemptingFate Best not bust, then.]]

-> ''Zoe'': If they take the ship, [[{{Squick}} they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh and sew our skins into their clothing]], [[CrossesTheLineTwice and if we're very very lucky]], they'll do it {{in that order}}.

->'''Dobson''': ''(holds a gun to River's head and uses her as a [[HumanShield shield]])'' "[[PutDownYourGunAndStepAway I'm not playing anymore. If anyone so much as moves-]]"\\
'''Mal''': ''(walks in and casually [[KilledMidSentence shoots Dobson]] [[ImprobableAimingSkills in the eye)]]''

->''Mal'': How come you didn't turn on me, Jayne?\\
''Jayne'': Money wasn't good enough.\\
''Mal'': What happens when it is?\\
''Jayne'': Well... [[ForeShadowing that'll be an interesting day.]]

->''Zoe'': Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.

->''Mal'': Darn.

->''Mal'': I swear by my pretty floral bonnet I will end you.

->''Book'': If you take sexual advantage of that girl, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. One reserved for child molesters, and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking people who talk at the theater]].

->''Simon'': "I reattached a girl's leg. Her ''whole leg''. She named her hamster after me. I got a hamster. He drops a box of money, ''he gets a town''..." ''(raising his mug in a toast)'' "To Jayne! The box-dropping, [[BuffySpeak man-ape-gone-wrong thing!]]"

->''Jayne'': "You all think somebody's just gonna drop money on ya? Money they could use? Well there ain't people like that!... There's just people like ''me!''"

->''Badger'': 'Course you couldn't buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle, but I got my hands on a couple.\\
''[=Jayne/Mal=]'': [[UnEntendre (chuckling)]]\\
''Badger'': ...Of invites!

-> ''Atherton'': Half of these men wish you were draped on their arm.\\
''Inara'': Only half? I must be losing my undefinable allure.\\
''Atherton'': Not so undefinable - [[EstablishingCharacterMoment all of them wish they were in your bed.]]

->''Jayne'': What we need is a diversion... [[ShowSomeLeg I say Zoe gets nekkid.]]\\
''Wash'': No.\\
''Jayne'': I could get nekkid.\\
''Everyone'': [[{{Squick}} No!]]

->''Mal'': Sure, it's humiliating. Having to lie there while the better man refuses to spill your blood. Mercy is the mark of a great man. (''Stabs Atherton in the side.'') Guess I'm just a good man. (''Stabs him again.'') Well, I'm all right.

->''Wash'': "I don't want you to spare me, Mal. If you think you know what's happening, then you tell me. You wouldn't spare Zoe if she were in this situation with you, would you? You would be planning, and plotting and... possibly scheming. So whatever Zoe would do in this instance is what I wanna do. Do you know why? No matter how ugly it gets, you two always come back with the stories. So... I'm Zoe. Now, what do I do?"\\
''Mal'': "Probably not talk quite so much."

->''Wash'': "I mean, I'm the one she swore to love, honor and obey."\\
''Mal'': "Listen, you... She swore to obey?"\\
''Wash'': "Well, no, but...But that's just my point! ''You'' she obeys! She obeys ''you!'' There's obeying going on ''right under my nose!'' "

->''Mal'': "That's not true! There's plenty of orders of mine that she didn't obey!"\\
''Wash'': "[[NameOne Name one]]!"\\
''Mal'': "[[WhamLine She married YOU!!]]"

->''Zoe'': Preacher, don't Literature/TheBible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?
->''Book'': [[ThouShaltNotKill Quite specific]]. It is, however, somewhat [[TechnicalPacifist fuzzier on the subject]] [[OnlyAFleshWound of kneecaps]].

->''Zoe'': [[ThisIsSomethingHesGotToDoHimself This is something the Captain has to do for himself]].\\
''Mal'': [[DefiedTrope No! No, it's not!]] \\
''Zoe'': Oh. [[MoreDakka (starts firing)]]

->''Mal'': I know it's a difficult mission... but you and I... have to get it on.\\
''Zoe'': Alright... I understand. Take me, sir. Take me hard.\\
''Jayne'': [[NoYay Now something about that's just downright unsettling.]]\\
''Wash'': (grabs Zoe) We'll be in our bunk!

->'''River'': [[OneManArmy No power in the 'Verse can stop me.]]

->''Mal'': "Everybody dies, Tracey. Someone's carryin' a bullet for you right now, doesn't even know it. The trick is, die of old age before it finds you."

->''Tracey'': "When you can't run, you crawl. And when you can't crawl, when you can't do that..."\\
''Zoe'': "...you find someone to carry you."

->''Mal'': "I'll introduce you to the rest later. They're good folk."\\
''Jayne'': "Can I start getting sexed already?"\\
''Mal'': [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg "Well, that one's kind of horrific."]]

->''[[HookerWithAHeartOfGold ''Petaline'']]: "Rance, this is Jonah. Jonah... say 'hi' to your daddy."\\
* gunshot*\\
''Petaline'': [[BondOneLiner "Say goodbye to your daddy, Jonah."]]

'''Mal''': ''[[CrowningMomentOfAwesome (walks in and casually]] [[KilledMidSentence shoots Dobson]] [[ImprobableAimingSkills in the eye)]]''

Like [[GinaTorres my career]] [[ActorAllusion after]] ''{{Cleopatra 2525}}''\\

-> ''Zoe'': If they take the ship, [[{{Squick}} they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh and sew our skins into their clothing,]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice and if we're very very lucky]], they'll do it {{in that order}}.

->''Mal'': [[GenreSavvy How come you didn't turn on me, Jayne?]]\\

->''Tracey'': "When you can't run, you crawl. And when you can't crawl, when you can't do that..."

->''Mal'': "I'll introduce you to the rest later. They're good folk."
''Jayne'': "Can I start getting sexed already?"

->''[[HookerWithAHeartOfGold ''Petaline'']]: "Rance, this is Jonah. Jonah... say 'hi' to your daddy."
* gunshot*

-->-- '''JossWhedon'''

All that ''BarneyMiller'' [[ActorAllusion paid off]], and you know why\\

Well, I'm JossWhedon, the creator, yeah, that's me\\
The only one that compares is JMichaelStraczynski\\

Well, I'm BrannonBraga, and I'm the ''Franchise/StarTrek'' guy\\

-->-- '''Tom Smith'''

->''"We choose which meaning to give these objects. [[Recap/FireflyE14ObjectsInSpace A gun can be a stick, a ship can be a soul,]] and a [[Series/{{Firefly}} TV show]] can be important, even if [[NeedsMoreLove no one watches it]]."''

->''Mal'': How come you didn't turn on me, Jayne?\\

''Jayne'': Well... that'll be an interesting day.

->''Simon'': "I reattached a girl's leg. Her ''whole leg''. She named her hamster after me. I got a hamster. He drops a box of money, ''he gets a town''."

There's a 29.22 per cent chance that this verse won't scan, but if we rewrite it in Iambic... fu den sei!\\

I live by one law [[CoughSnarkCough (herpes)]] and you know why\\

Ya-da-da-da-da\\

Ya-da-da-da-da\\

[[http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Firefly_(TV_series) And many more]]!

->Well, I'm TheCaptain, Mal, [[DeadpanSnarker my wit is dry]]\\
I may never be a success, but I'm gonna try\\
I live by one law [[CoughSnarkCough (herpes)]] and you know why\\
I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly\\
Ya-da-da-da-da\\

Well, I'm the [[NumberTwo first mate]] Zoe, I'll always survive\\
Like [[GinaTorres my career]] [[ActorAllusion after]] ''{{Cleopatra 2525}}''\\
I'm [[ActionGirl the hottie who'll kick your ass]], and you know why\\
I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly\\
Ya-da-da-da-da\\

Well, I'm Wash, Zoe's husband, I'm one lucky guy\\
I'm also the pilot, so shut up and let me fly\\
I'm the comic relief on the wind, and you know why\\

Well, I'm Jayne, the hero of Canton, I'm one studly guy\\
Don't get on my bad side, or you're gonna die!\\
Oh yeah, [[JerkAss I don't have a good side]], and you know why\\

Well, I'm Kaylee the engineer, I know what to do\\
I'm the oversexed, [[WrenchWench grease monkey]], [[DeadpanSnarker snarky]], savant MarySue\\
I'm in lust with simple Simon, and you know why\\

Well, I'm Simon the doctor, and Jayne gets on my nerves\\
If he doesn't shut up, I'll make sure he gets what he deserves\\
I'll lock him in a room with [[SuperSoldier my sister]], and you know why\\

Well, I'm... I'm River... I think\\
...\\
...\\
There's a 29.22 per cent chance that this verse won't scan, but if we rewrite it in Iambic... fu den sei!\\

I'm Inara the companion, in love with Mal, who knows why?\\
He always calls me a whore - [[{{Tsundere}} I guess he's shy]]\\
And [[{{UST}} nothing will ever happen]], 'cause so am I\\

Ya-da-da-da-da\\

Well, I'm Shepherd Book, the token religious guy\\
[[ReligiousBruiser I've got a great left hook]], and I think like a spy\\
All that ''BarneyMiller'' [[ActorAllusion paid off]], and you know why\\
I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly\\
Ya-da-da-da-da\\

Well, I'm JossWhedon, the creator, yeah, that's me\\
The only one that compares is JMichaelStraczynski\\
I thank you all for watching ''Film/{{Serenity}}''\\
Buy my DVD! Buy my DVD! Buy my DVD!\\
Ya-da-da-da-da\\

Well, I'm BrannonBraga, and I'm the ''Franchise/StarTrek'' guy\\
[[TakeThat Forty years of franchise, and you can kiss it goodbye]]\\
Joss got it right in one - I hate that guy!\\
He did Firefly, he did Firefly, he did Firefly\\
Ya-da-da-da-da\\

Well, I'm BrannonBraga, and I'm the ''StarTrek'' guy\\