History Quotes / ConspicuousConsumption

->''He checked his multi-faced watch and scowled. It was all very well and good that it cost the average Ministry worker's salary for a year, but what did that matter when he could hardly even read the bloody thing?''

->"[[PreAssKickingOneLiner Those were $500 sunglasses.]]"

-->--'''Daniel Suarez''', ''Daemon''

->''The [palace] [[BigDoor doors]] shut grandly behind us. Everything here needs that extra weight. There isn't a single gesture that isn't laced with self-importance.''

->"My SHOES cost more than your HOUSE!"

->"[[TheEighties For the first time in American history]], it's considered a good thing to flaunt your success, right? Let people know how rich you are. God bless Ronald Reagan."

->"I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought [[AndTheRest some dumb stuff]], too."
-->--'''Steve Martin'''

-->--[=Legendarymotorsport.net=] description of the Z-Type coupé, '''''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoV'''''

->"Hey, buddy - ah, these pretzels suck - how's your day been, buddy? We haven’t really talked much since I left you for dead! Hey, you think you’ll freeze to death out there? Nah, probably not. The bandits’ll get you first. My day? It's been pretty good. Just bought a pony made of diamonds, because I’m rich. So, you know. That’s cool. 'Kay bye!"

->"I wonder if dictators have that whole one-up thing that neighbours have with each other, like, do they have this “keeping up with the Joneses” for the one percent of sociopaths? Like, did [[TheCaligula Pagan]] see that [[OurFounder gigantic statue]] of himself, did he buy that just because Kim Jong-Un has a statue of himself like that? Maybe he also said the same thing, like “Aw man, Kim Jong-Un has a {{gold|MakesEverythingShiny}}en toilet, ''I'' need a golden toilet, I mean I have to shit in a golden bowl. I ''have'' to. I mean look at what Kim Jong-Un has.” Life must be so different for the [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney evil subset of the one percent]]. Hm..."

->"As my dear departed father used to say, 'What's the point of being disgustingly rich if you're not constantly spending your money on frivolous bullshit?'"

->"[[OrganTheft Body in a bathtub]]? The only time I've ever woken up in a bathtub was when I made the Sultan of Brunei fill a bathtub with diamonds. I wouldn't recommend it - diamonds are harder than rock salt and they have a way of [[AssShove finding their way into all sorts of cavities]]. I was nervous in airports for the next 6 months."

->"What ''VideoGame/TheSims'' is is a consumerist middle class fantasy about walling yourself off from the real world and reducing all measurement of human development and personal success to one's possessions, your [[DragonHoard dragon's hoard]] of crass suburban decadence. And in that game of Top Trumps, the swimming pool is ''a kingly crown!''"

->"Everyone says [Manchester City] keep winning because we have the money to buy any player we want. But we also buy players that we don't want... because we can!"

-->--'''''Wiki/RationalWiki''''' on UsefulNotes/{{Caligula}}

-->--'''[[https://www.gq.com/gallery/25-least-influential-people-alive Drew Magary]]''', "The 25 Least I fluential People of 2011"

-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-incredible-modern-technologies-that-have-lost-their-luster/ "4 Incredible Modern Technologies That Have Lost Their Luster"]]

-->--[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GIwTG8V-Ko Tai Lopez]] WebAnimation/YouTubePoop

->"...And they say ''[='=]Can we sit on the bed?[='=]'' and I say ''[='=]Sure, but these are expensive Japanese linen.[='=]'' and they say ''[='=]But they're not even soft![='=]'' and '''I''' say... '''[='=]Sometimes... things that are expensive... are worse.[='=]'''"

->"...eating this pizza, I feel like a [[Franchise/JamesBond Bond villain]]. I want to eat this in my VolcanoLair."

->“It’s insulting to say that I spent $30,000 on wine. Because it was far more. By the way, it was not $3 million to shoot {{Creator/Hunter|SThompson}} into the fucking sky. It was $5 million.”

->"Because I can."

->"They had to stop exporting it because they were cutting down the rainforest, or whatever."

->"I don't think people went around saying to themselves: 'I need to have a 10,000 square foot house.' We weren't exposed to things we didn't have in the same way kids these days are. There was not that window into the lifestyles of the rich and famous. Kids weren't monitoring every day what Creator/KimKardashian was wearing, or where Kanye West was going on vacation, and thinking that somehow that was the mark of success."

->It's a funny thing about Americans, we love to bitch about paying too much for the things we really need and are really a bargain, like gas and postage stamps, but we willingly shell out outrageous amounts for unnecessary crap like gourmet coffee and soap to make your crotch smell good.

->"On clubbers: They were all photographing themselves. In fact, that's all they seemed to be doing. Standing around in expensive clothes, snapping away with phones and cameras. One pose after another, as though they needed to prove their own existence, right there, in the moment. Crucially, this seemed to be the reason they were there in the first place. There was very little dancing. Just pouting and flashbulbs."

-->-- '''Creator/JorgeLuisBorges''' prologue of Thorstein Veblen's ''[[RichInDollarsPoorInSense Theory Of The Leisure Class]]'' (The reader can find more about this book at ConspicuousConsumption, RealLife).

->''Thus Neokitsch was born, the style of celebrities, braindance stars, magnates, heirs to corporate fortunes and corporate [CEOs] ... Surrounded in everyday life by the cold style of the corporate overclass, they abandon it for gold, silver and platinum, for the warmth of real wood, ivory and natural furs--rare and exclusive materials only they can afford. Neokitsch is, in a certain sense, a return to the roots of Kitsch, while also acting as a show of forceful luxury by people with so much money they need not care about the opinions of others.''

-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'''''

-->--"This Is The Life", ''Music/WeirdAlYankovic'', (''Film/JohnnyDangerously'')

--[[CorruptCorporateExecutive Matt Bromley]], ''Series/{{Pose}}''

->''{{Creator/Johnny|Depp}} also paid $3 million to blast Creator/HunterSThompson’s ashes out of a cannon over Aspen, CO. I’m sure that Creator/NicolasCage is pfft-ing at that one, because I bet he spent $15 million on sending the ashes of a 13th century Scottish prince to space where a drone scattered them on the moon.''
-->--'''[[https://dlisted.com/2017/02/01/johnny-depp-is-living-that-opulent-wine-hobo-life/ Michael K.]]''', "Johnny Depp Is Living That Opulent Wine Hobo Life"

->"Since ''{{Franchise/Pirates|OfTheCaribbean}}'' 2 and 3, I had – and this is ludicrous to have to state, it’s quite embarrassing – apparently I had made $650 million. I had not only lost $650 million, but I was $100 million in the hole because [I had not paid] taxes for 17 years.”

->"“ince ''{{Franchise/Pirates|OfTheCaribbean}}'' 2 and 3, I had – and this is ludicrous to have to state, it’s quite embarrassing – apparently I had made $650 million. I had not only lost $650 million, but I was $100 million in the hole because [I had not paid] taxes for 17 years.”

->"“Since ''[[Franchise/Pirates|OfTheCaribbean}}'' 2 and 3, I had – and this is ludicrous to have to state, it’s quite embarrassing – apparently I had made $650 million. I had not only lost $650 million, but I was $100 million in the hole because [I had not paid] taxes for 17 years.”

->''Now see to it that the swimming pool is filled with fresh milk upon my return. It does wonders for my complexion. ...Ah, I see we'll be taking the lavender jet today.''

->''"Jewish people driving German cars\\

What the ''cock'' is that shit?''

->''"[[PreAssKickingOneLiner Those were $500 sunglasses.]]"''

->For average working folks, [[{{Eagleland}} America]] was becoming a puzzle. Who was buying all these two-hundred-dollar copper saucepans, anyway? And how was everyone [[ImprobablyCoolCar paying for these BMWs]]? Were people shrewd or just [[HanlonsRazor stupefyingly irresponsible]]?

->Am I right in suggesting that ordinary life is a mean between these extremes, that the noble man [[NonIdleRich devotes his material wealth to lofty ends]], the advancement of science, or art, or some such true ideal; and that the base man does the opposite by concentrating all his abilities on the amassing of wealth? Exactly; that is the real distinction between the artist and the bourgeois, or, if you prefer it, between the gentleman and [[UpperClassTwit the cad]].

->The [palace] [[BigDoor doors]] shut grandly behind us. Everything here needs that extra weight. There isn't a single gesture that isn't laced with self-importance.

->My '''''SHOES''''' cost more than your '''''HOUSE!'''''

->[[TheEighties For the first time in American history]], it's considered a good thing to flaunt your success, right? Let people know how rich you are.\\
God bless Ronald Reagan.\\

->I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought [[AndTheRest some dumb stuff]], too.

->One of only 10 ever made, the Z-Type is a car you can really enjoy sitting in, surrounded by army guards, too terrified to actually drive it anywhere.

->Hey, buddy - ah, these pretzels suck - how's your day been, buddy? We haven’t really talked much since I left you for dead! Hey, you think you’ll freeze to death out there? Nah, probably not. The bandits’ll get you first. My day? It's been pretty good. Just bought a pony made of diamonds, because I’m rich. So, you know. That’s cool. 'Kay bye!

->I wonder if dictators have that whole one-up thing that neighbours have with each other, like, do they have this “keeping up with the Joneses” for the one percent of sociopaths? Like, did [[TheCaligula Pagan]] see that [[OurFounder gigantic statue]] of himself, did he buy that just because Kim Jong-Un has a statue of himself like that? Maybe he also said the same thing, like “Aw man, Kim Jong-Un has a {{gold|MakesEverythingShiny}}en toilet, ''I'' need a golden toilet, I mean I have to shit in a golden bowl. I ''have'' to. I mean look at what Kim Jong-Un has.” Life must be so different for the [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney evil subset of the one percent]]. Hm...

->[[OrganTheft Body in a bathtub]]? The only time I've ever woken up in a bathtub was when I made the Sultan of Brunei fill a bathtub with diamonds. I wouldn't recommend it - diamonds are harder than rock salt and they have a way of [[AssShove finding their way into all sorts of cavities]]. I was nervous in airports for the next 6 months.

->What ''VideoGame/TheSims'' is is a consumerist middle class fantasy about walling yourself off from the real world and reducing all measurement of human development and personal success to one's possessions, your [[DragonHoard dragon's hoard]] of crass suburban decadence. And in that game of Top Trumps, the swimming pool is ''a kingly crown!''

->Supposedly, a sooth-sayer of Tiberius's said "Caligula has about as much chance of becoming emperor as he does of [[ItWillNeverCatchOn riding a horse across the Bay of Pigs.]]" Caligula clearly got wind of this as he designed a floating bridge, connecting the province of Baiae to the neighbouring port of Puteoli and road his horse Incitatus across it wearing the armour of Alexander the Great which you have to admit is pretty cool. It nearly crashed the economy however.

->Rich people, drop another panda heart into your helicopter's dog kennel and let's get ready to shop! Poor people, this seems like a good time to warn you that I'm in a helicopter, [[HuntingTheMostDangerousGame hunting you]].

->Together, we might just make it possible for Richard Branson to finally land on Europa and [[MileHighClub finger bang a model]].

->Matt Yglesias publishes article trumpeting Vertu, a maker of a $6,000 luxury android phone. He gets a raft of shit. Responds by posting a photograph he took on vacation in Hanoi of a couple having their wedding photo taken near a Vertu sign. Claims it means $6,000 smart phones [[ProfessionalButtKisser are aspirational.]]

->Martha Stewart got a drone for her birthday last year ('in Maine,' she notes, Martha Stewart-ishly) and it turns out she just can't get enough droning. In a ''TIME'' op-ed titled 'Why I Love My Drone,' she explains why: Because it makes it way easier to [[MundaneUtility craft a marzipan Peter Rabbit cake]] that's an exact replica of her farm. [[NotMakingThisUpdisclaimer <—-ACTUAL REASON.]]

->{{Creator/Johnny|Depp}} also paid $3 million to blast Creator/HunterSThompson’s ashes out of a cannon over Aspen, CO. I’m sure that Creator/NicolasCage is pfft-ing at that one, because I bet he spent $15 million on sending the ashes of a 13th century Scottish prince to space where a drone scattered them on the moon.
-->--'''[[https://dlisted.com/2017/02/01/johnny-depp-is-living-that-opulent-wine-hobo-life/ Michael K.]]'''

->An HDTV without an HD signal is like a pair of glasses without lenses. Yeah, you can probably still see stuff, but who wants to see through a smear of peanut butter over their eyes when there are better options readily available? People would rather use HD screens as decorative accents. They're status symbols. They're the new version of an animal's stuffed head mounted on a wall.

->''"...And they say ''[='=]Can we sit on the bed?[='=]'' and I say ''[='=]Sure, but these are expensive Japanese linen.[='=]'' and they say ''[='=]But they're not even soft![='=]'' and '''I''' say... '''[='=]Sometimes... things that are expensive... are worse.[='=]'''"''

->''"...eating this pizza, I feel like a [[Franchise/JamesBond Bond villain]]. I want to eat this in my VolcanoLair."''

->In this book, dating from 1899, Veblen discovers and defines [[RichInDollarsPoorInSense the leisure class]], whose strange duty is to spend money significantly. So, they live in a neighborhood, [[ShiningCity because it is said that this neighborhood is the most expensive]]. Liebermann or Picasso fixed large sums ''[for their paintings]'', not because they were greedy, but to not disappoint the buyers whose purpose was to show that they could afford a cloth bearing their signature. According to Veblen, [[CrackIsCheaper the golf boom is due to the fact that it requires a lot of ground]].... If a manager does not have time for conspicuous waste, his wife or their children do so for him, so that periodic changes of fashion provide liveries.

->Because I can.

->They had to stop exporting it because they were cutting down the rainforest, or whatever.

->I don't think people went around saying to themselves: 'I need to have a 10,000 square foot house.' We weren't exposed to things we didn't have in the same way kids these days are. There was not that window into the lifestyles of the rich and famous. Kids weren't monitoring every day what Creator/KimKardashian was wearing, or where Kanye West was going on vacation, and thinking that somehow that was the mark of success.

->On clubbers: They were all photographing themselves. In fact, that's all they seemed to be doing. Standing around in expensive clothes, snapping away with phones and cameras. One pose after another, as though they needed to prove their own existence, right there, in the moment. Crucially, this seemed to be the reason they were there in the first place. There was very little dancing. Just pouting and flashbulbs.

->Don’t worry, the thieving thieves didn’t take those $1,100 Wonder Woman mom shorts so you can still use most of your rent money to buy them...I’m sure she’s pissed and someone is definitely going to lose their job over this. I mean, Goopy is probably so embarrassed that her pop-up shop sold a Rolex that was only $4k! What are they, Big Lots?
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/12/07/goopy-paltrows-pop-up-shop-got-robbed-of-173k-worth-of-shit/#more-198441 Micheal K.]]''', "[[Creator/GwynethPaltrow Paltrow’s]] Pop-Up Shop Got Robbed Of $173K Worth Of Shit"

->“Welcome to Equifax Stadium. That’ll be [[ShockinglyExpensiveBill $5,980 for a beer]], please.” Keep in mind that the Falcons didn’t even NEED this stadium, because the Georgia Dome is barely two decades old. But because this is the NFL, and because Arthur Blank is a fucking crook, you get $1.4 billion spent on [[http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--FsfXiwPu--/1362233056956368231.gif Megatron’s butthole.]] The roof really makes it...a roof that actually simulates human peristalsis. All this in a city that has one working snowplow. Truly, we live in a blessed age.
-->--'''[[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-atlanta-falcons-1720824337 Drew Magary]]'''

->If you somehow manage to machete your way through traffic, road closures, and rich drunk assholes en route to the luxury boxes their [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveConnections rich asshole fathers bought them]] for not wrecking the yacht this year, you will be asked to pay an arm and a leg in parking fees, even after you've mortgaged your home and sacrificed your first born to get a ticket. As if it needs repeating, the product on the field [[IncompetenceInc is not worth it]], but everyone in the stands will still have a good time. This is because they are reading the ''New York Post'' on their [=iPads=] and have to be reminded by the scoreboard when to cheer.
-->--'''''Deadspin''''', [[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-new-york-giants-1630014411 "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: New York Giants"]]

''I eat filet mignon seven times a day,\\

->''"...eating this pizza, I feel like a [[Franchise/JamesBond Bond villain]. I want to eat this in my VolcanoLair."''

-->--[[CorruptCorporateExecutive Matt Bromley]], ''Series/{{Pose}}''

-->-- [[CorruptCorporateExecutive Matt Bromley]], ''Series/{{Pose}}''

->''He checked his multi-faced watch and scowled. It was all very well and good that it cost the average Ministry worker's salary for a year, but what did that matter when he could hardly even read the bloody thing?''\\
-- ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/2117313 Every Betrayed!Harry Fic Ever: The Short Version]]''

-->--''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/2117313 Every Betrayed!Harry Fic Ever: The Short Version]]''