History Quotes / Bowdlerise

->It might be worth noting that a terminology change was made in the North American localization of ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVIII''. The English script refers to Edea as [[VainSorceress a sorceress]], but what she's called in the original Japanese is evidently a lot closer to "[[WickedWitch witch]]." Interesting choice. "Witch" is a bit of a loaded term; Square's American branch probably worried that players would associate it with pointy hats and broomsticks, inadvertently softening the impact... But "witch" still might have been the better choice: Possessed Edea's speech and manners are very evocative of the Creator/HansChristianAndersen breed of witch, especially in the scene in which [[TheVamp she lures Seifer to her side]]. (The old woman in the gingerbread house probably spoke to Hansel in the same tones.) And since ''Final Fantasy VIII''[='s=] world was designed to have a more predominantly Western feel than previous entries', it makes sense for the game's story to tap into Europe's traditional witch-phobia. Possessed Edea speaking of the populace's [[DrivenToVillainy deep-seated hatred and fear towards sorceresses]] isn't terribly evocative; the scene probably would have struck more of a chord with English-speaking audiences had she referred to people hating and fearing ''witches'' instead. Ah, well.

[[folder:Film -- Live-action]]

[[folder:Live-action TV]]

->I am sick and tired of these [[AC: monkey-fighting]] snakes on this [[AC:monday-to-friday]] plane!

[[folder:Theatre]]

->''So they'll censor us and they'll make a fuss\\
When we take this show out on a bus.\\
Totally bleeped, 'cause in sex we're steeped.\\
No four-letter words for us!\\
Totally bleeped!''
-->-- ''Theatre/ForbiddenBroadway: Rude Awakening'', parody of ''Theatre/SpringAwakening''

[[/folder]]

->I am sick and tired of these [[AC: monkey-fighting]] snakes on this [[AC:Monday-to-Friday]] plane!

->''"The gym teacher hit me. Maybe I should drop out and become a thug..."''

->''"The gym teacher made me do extra push-ups again. I’d rather do sit-ups though."''

->'''Agent Mitchum:''' You've ended the war against crime with your brilliant "Give us your guns or we'll blow your freakin' heads off" bill. And you've ended the war against drugs with your brilliant "Give us your drugs or we'll blow your freakin' heads off" campaign.
->'''The President:''' I actually said, "freakin'"?
->'''Agent Mitchum:''' No, sir, but I'm a Mormon.
-->-- ''Series/{{MADtv}}'', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9hqL2EC1qE "Good Morning, Mr. President"]]

->''"With ABC deleting dynamite gags from cartoons, do you find that your children are using explosives less frequently?"''
-->-- '''Mark [=LoPresti=]'''

->"Film/PulpFiction? ''Yeah, saw it on an airplane, it's cute. It's a thirty-minute film about a group of friends who like cheeseburgers, dancing and the Bible."''
-->-- '''Shirley''', ''Series/{{Community}}'', S2 E19: "Critical Film Studies"

->''"I'm gonna fill your hoo-hah with goof juice!"''

->''"Wrestling/TheUndertaker has always been a figure clouded in darkness. The original persona was something straight out of an [[ElviraMistessOfTheDark Elivra]] b-movie: an undead zombie who felt no pain. As the character has changed over the years, it probably comes as no shock that he eventually became almost a devil worshipper, eventually creating a church for fellow wrongdoers. It was known as The Ministry of Darkness, and it was truly evil. Amongst their evil acts were kidnappings, crucifixions (which the WWF justified by stating that victims were actually strapped to an Undertaker symbol, not a cross), and cutting guys open to drink their blood. [WhatDoYouMeanItsForKids Good, wholesome family fun.]] But while everyone assumed that the Undertaker was the mastermind behind the whole scene, he soon began to talk of a 'higher power' who was giving the Ministry its orders. After months of speculation, the higher power [[AnswersToTheNameOfGod was revealed to be, yep, Vince McMahon.]]"''
-->--'''''{{Website/Wrestlecrap}}''''', [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/classic-induction-mordecai-your-friendly-sword-swinging-yankee-candle-sales-rep/ "Mordecai: Your Friendly Sword Swinging Yankee Candle Sales Rep"]]

->''"The people who do ADR for movies shown on broadcast TV and basic cable (i.e., the guys who dub over the curse words) are underappreciated geniuses. After all, without them, how would we know that [[Film/{{Scarface 1983}} Miami is like a great big chicken, just waiting to be plucked]]? Who else is going to warn us about the dire consequences [[Film/TheBigLebowski when you find a stranger in the Alps]]? And where else would we have learned about the treacherous [[Film/DieHard Mister Falcon]]?"''

->If ''[[VideoGame/UltimaVi The False Prophet]]'' was pushing the capabilities of the SuperNintendo's antiquated processor and 128kb of memory, ''The Black Gate'' shoved them off a cliff...Limitations of the hardware forced the game to become much more linear with event flags, and many items are inexplicably moved to the dungeons. Most damningly, though, is the severe damage that Nintendo's censorship policies resulted in for the game's story and play. Monsters, for some unexplained reason, [[NoBodyLeftBehind explode in a ball of fire]] rather than leaving bodies behind; presumably suicide-bombers are somehow more family friendly. Rather than ritual murders, you investigate [[NeverSayDie kidnappings]]. Various words including most notably the word 'kill' are gone from the dialogue, as well as nearly everything that could be construed as an adult situation, resulting in a horribly [[{{Bowdlerization}} bowdlerized]] game which demands no thought or moral choice and becomes just another consequence-free, mindless hack-and-slasher of the sort that Richard Garriott has been specifically trying to move away from since ''[[VideoGame/UltimaIV Quest of the Avatar]]''. There's really no reason to play this game at all. Please don't. [[TheyJustDidntCare It doesn't even have SNES mouse support.]]
-->--'''Robert Kosarko''' [[http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/ultima/ultima8.htm on]] ''VideoGame/UltimaVII''


->''"It might be worth noting that a terminology change was made in the North American localization of ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVIII''. The English script refers to Edea as [[VainSorceress a sorceress]], but what she's called in the original Japanese is evidently a lot closer to "[[WickedWitch witch]]." Interesting choice. "Witch" is a bit of a loaded term; Square's American branch probably worried that players would associate it with pointy hats and broomsticks, inadvertently softening the impact... But "witch" still might have been the better choice: Possessed Edea's speech and manners are very evocative of the Creator/HansChristianAndersen breed of witch, especially in the scene in which [[TheVamp she lures Seifer to her side]]. (The old woman in the gingerbread house probably spoke to Hansel in the same tones.) And since ''Final Fantasy VIII''[='s=] world was designed to have a more predominantly Western feel than previous entries', it makes sense for the game's story to tap into Europe's traditional witch-phobia. Possessed Edea speaking of the populace's [[DrivenToVillainy deep-seated hatred and fear towards sorceresses]] isn't terribly evocative; the scene probably would have struck more of a chord with English-speaking audiences had she referred to people hating and fearing ''witches'' instead. Ah, well."''

->''"I am sick and tired of these [[UnusualEuphemism monkey-fighting]] snakes on this Monday-to-Friday plane!"''
-->--Famously bowdlerized TV edit of ''Film/SnakesOnAPlane''

Some days I just pray to the god of sex and [[AC:[[DrugsAreBad drums]] ]] and rock and roll''

-->-- '''Creator/PattonOswalt''' giving an example of cleaned up filth

-->-- '''PattonOswalt''' giving an example of cleaned up filth

->''"It might be worth noting that a terminology change was made in the North American localization of ''FinalFantasyVIII''. The English script refers to Edea as [[VainSorceress a sorceress]], but what she's called in the original Japanese is evidently a lot closer to "[[WickedWitch witch]]." Interesting choice. "Witch" is a bit of a loaded term; Square's American branch probably worried that players would associate it with pointy hats and broomsticks, inadvertently softening the impact... But "witch" still might have been the better choice: Possessed Edea's speech and manners are very evocative of the Creator/HansChristianAndersen breed of witch, especially in the scene in which [[TheVamp she lures Seifer to her side]]. (The old woman in the gingerbread house probably spoke to Hansel in the same tones.) And since ''Final Fantasy VIII''[='s=] world was designed to have a more predominantly Western feel than previous entries', it makes sense for the game's story to tap into Europe's traditional witch-phobia. Possessed Edea speaking of the populace's [[DrivenToVillainy deep-seated hatred and fear towards sorceresses]] isn't terribly evocative; the scene probably would have struck more of a chord with English-speaking audiences had she referred to people hating and fearing ''witches'' instead. Ah, well."''

->''"It might be worth noting that a terminology change was made in the North American localization of ''FinalFantasyVIII''. The English script refers to Edea as [[VainSorceress a sorceress]], but what she's called in the original Japanese is evidently a lot closer to "[[WickedWitch witch]]." Interesting choice. "Witch" is a bit of a loaded term; Square's American branch probably worried that players would associate it with pointy hats and broomsticks, inadvertently softening the impact... But "witch" still might have been the better choice: Possessed Edea's speech and manners are very evocative of the HansChristianAnderson breed of witch, especially in the scene in which [[TheVamp she lures Seifer to her side]]. (The old woman in the gingerbread house probably spoke to Hansel in the same tones.) And since ''Final Fantasy VIII''[='s=] world was designed to have a more predominantly Western feel than previous entries', it makes sense for the game's story to tap into Europe's traditional witch-phobia. Possessed Edea speaking of the populace's [[DrivenToVillainy deep-seated hatred and fear towards sorceresses]] isn't terribly evocative; the scene probably would have struck more of a chord with English-speaking audiences had she referred to people hating and fearing ''witches'' instead. Ah, well."''

Some days I just pray to the god of sex and [[AC:drums]] and rock and roll''

->''Some days I pray for silence''
->''Some days I pray for soul''
->''Some days I just pray to the god of sex, [[strike:drugs]] and'' '''drums''' ''and rock and roll''

->'''Agent Mitchum:''' You've ended the war against crime with your brilliant "Give us your guns or we'll blow your freakin' heads off" bill. And you've ended the war against drugs with your brilliant "Give us your drugs or we'll blow your freakin' heads off" campaign.
->'''The President:''' I actually said, "freakin'"?
->'''Agent Mitchum:''' No, sir, but I'm a Mormon.
-->-- ''Series/{{MADtv}}'', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9hqL2EC1qE "Good Morning, Mr. President"]]

->''"With ABC deleting dynamite gags from cartoons, do you find that your children are using explosives less frequently?"''
-->-- '''Mark [=LoPresti=]'''

->''"I'm gonna fill your hoo-hah with goof juice!"''
-->-- '''PattonOswalt''' giving an example of cleaned up filth

->"Film/PulpFiction? ''Yeah, saw it on an airplane, it's cute. It's a thirty-minute film about a group of friends who like cheeseburgers, dancing and the Bible."''
-->-- '''Shirley''', ''Series/{{Community}}'', S2 E19: "Critical Film Studies"

->''"The people who do ADR for movies shown on broadcast TV and basic cable (i.e., the guys who dub over the curse words) are underappreciated geniuses. After all, without them, how would we know that [[Film/{{Scarface 1983}} Miami is like a great big chicken, just waiting to be plucked]]? Who else is going to warn us about the dire consequences [[Film/TheBigLebowski when you find a stranger in the Alps]]? And where else would we have learned about the treacherous [[Film/DieHard Mister Falcon]]?"''
-->-- '''Website/TheAgonyBooth''', [[http://www.agonybooth.com/agonizer/Snakes_on_a_Plane___The_TV_Edit.aspx on the TV edit of]] ''Film/SnakesOnAPlane''

->''"The people who do ADR for movies shown on broadcast TV and basic cable (i.e., the guys who dub over the curse words) are underappreciated geniuses. After all, without them, how would we know that [[Film/{{Scarface}} Miami is like a great big chicken, just waiting to be plucked]]? Who else is going to warn us about the dire consequences [[Film/TheBigLebowski when you find a stranger in the Alps]]? And where else would we have learned about the treacherous [[Film/DieHard Mister Falcon]]?"''
-->-- '''Website/TheAgonyBooth''', [[http://www.agonybooth.com/agonizer/Snakes_on_a_Plane___The_TV_Edit.aspx on the TV edit of]] ''SnakesOnAPlane''

-->-- '''TheAgonyBooth''', [[http://www.agonybooth.com/agonizer/Snakes_on_a_Plane___The_TV_Edit.aspx on the TV edit of]] ''SnakesOnAPlane''

-->-- ''MadTV'', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9hqL2EC1qE "Good Morning, Mr. President"]]

->''PulpFiction''? Yeah, saw it on an airplane, it's cute. It's a thirty-minute film about a group of friends who like cheeseburgers, dancing and the Bible.

->''The people who do ADR for movies shown on broadcast TV and basic cable (i.e., the guys who dub over the curse words) are underappreciated geniuses. After all, without them, how would we know that [[Film/{{Scarface}} Miami is like a great big chicken, just waiting to be plucked]]? Who else is going to warn us about the dire consequences [[Film/TheBigLebowski when you find a stranger in the Alps]]? And where else would we have learned about the treacherous [[Film/DieHard Mister Falcon]]?''

->'''Agent Mitchum''': You've ended the war against crime with your brilliant "Give us your guns or we'll blow your freakin' heads off" bill. And you've ended the war against drugs with your brilliant "Give us your drugs or we'll blow your freakin' heads off" campaign.
->'''The President''': I actually said, "freakin'"?
->'''Agent Mitchum''': No, sir, but I'm a Mormon.

->''The people who do ADR for movies shown on broadcast TV and basic cable (i.e., the guys who dub over the curse words) are underappreciated geniuses. After all, without them, how would we know that [[{{Scarface}} Miami is like a great big chicken, just waiting to be plucked]]? Who else is going to warn us about the dire consequences [[TheBigLebowski when you find a stranger in the Alps]]? And where else would we have learned about the treacherous [[DieHard Mister Falcon]]?''

-->-- '''Shirley''', ''{{Community}}'', S2 E19: "Critical Film Studies"

->-- '''Mark [=LoPresti=]'''

->'''Shirley''': Pulp Fiction? Yeah, saw it on an airplane, it's cute. It's a thirty-minute film about a group of friends who like cheeseburgers, dancing and the Bible.
-->-- {{Community}}, S2 E19: Critical Film Studies
----

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-> It's been a week, dude. You came back from the [hurt] after I [destroyed] you and sent you to [Hades]. That stuff was cut. For, uh... time.
-->-- Joel, to the no-longer-dead Phil, after retooling Series/BonusStage as a kids' show