History Quotes / BetterCallSaul

->'''->'''Jimmy:''' Uh, quick question, who here knows what a Chicago sunroof is? Anybody? You, sir? No? OK. True story, uh, back home, there was this guy named Chet. Now, Chet was a real ''asshole.'' He might have owed me some money! He might have slept with my wife... ''before'' she became my ex-wife. The details don't matter! Suffice to say, ''I'' was wrong. Alright, so one summer evening, I was out having a few drinks, one or two, maybe three, huh! You get the picture? And, uh, who do I see? Chet! He drove off and he double-parked outside a Dairy Queen, and went in to get some soft-serve. Now, Chet drove, just to give you an idea of exactly the kind of a douchebag this guy was, drove a white pearlescent BMW 7-series with a white leather interior. (chuckles) So I saw that thing, and I-- I'd had a few, like I said. And, uh... I climbed up top, and I may have... ({{beat}}) defecated, uh... through the sunroof. (awkward silence) Not my finest hour, I'll grant you that. But, that's what a Chicago sunroof is! Now you know. (nervous chuckle) It's a real thing, I didn't make it up. Not the first person to do it. There's a name for it. Guy wanted some soft-serve, I gave him some soft-serve. I did not know that his children were in the back seat. There was a level of tint on the windows that I maintain to this day was not legal in an Illinois-licensed vehicle. But somehow, that's on me, I guess. ''Who leaves two cub scouts in a double-parked car with the engine running?'' Come on. Now, Chet was connected, see? Like, uh, Cicero connected. So, usually I'd be lookin' at malicious mischief, public intoxication, disorderly conduct, ''maybe...'' but he's got the DEA saying indecent exposure. Calling me a ''sex offender!'' What?! One little Chicago sunroof, and suddenly, I'm ''Charles Manson?!'' And that's where it all went off the rails! I've been paying for it ever since. '''''THAT'S WHY I'M HERE!'''''

Mike''': Well, that was quick. No charge.\\

->'''Mike''': Well, that was quick. No charge.\\

->'''Jimmy:''' Uh, quick question, who here knows what a Chicago sunroof is? Anybody? You, sir? No? OK. True story, uh, back home, there was this guy named Chet. Now, Chet was a real ''asshole.'' He might have owed me some money! He might have slept with my wife... ''before'' she became my ex-wife. The details don't matter! Suffice to say, ''I'' was wrong. Alright, so one summer evening, I was out having a few drinks, one or two, maybe three, huh! You get the picture? And, uh, who do I see? Chet! He drove off and he double-parked outside a Dairy Queen, and went in to get some soft-serve. Now, Chet drove, just to give you an idea of exactly the kind of a douchebag this guy was, drove a white pearlescent BMW 7-series with a white leather interior. (chuckles) So I saw that thing, and I-- I'd had a few, like I said. And, uh... I climbed up top, and I may have... ({{beat}}) defecated, uh... through the sunroof. (awkward silence) Not my finest hour, I'll grant you that. But, that's what a Chicago sunroof is! Now you know. (nervous chuckle) It's a real thing, I didn't make it up. Not the first person to do it. There's a name for it. Guy wanted some soft-serve, I gave him some soft-serve. I did not know that his children were in the back seat. There was a level of tint on the windows that I maintain to this day was not legal in an Illinois-licensed vehicle. But somehow, that's on me, I guess. ''Who leaves two cub scouts in a double-parked car with the engine running?'' Come on. Now, Chet was connected, see? Like, uh, Cicero connected. So, usually I'd be lookin' at malicious mischief, public intoxication, disorderly conduct, ''maybe...'' but he's got the DEA saying indecent exposure. Calling me a ''sex offender!'' What?! One little Chicago sunroof, and suddenly, I'm ''Charles Manson?!'' And that's where it all went off the rails! I've been paying for it ever since. '''''THAT'S WHY I'M HERE!'''''
-->--'''Jimmy''' going on a rant in "[[Recap/BetterCallSaulS1E10Marco Marco]]"

'''Jimmy:''' Oh, don't you ''[[PrecisionFStrike fuckin']] "oh, Jimmy" me!'' You look down on me, you pity me?!\\

'''Jimmy''': Walk away, that's right, Howard. You know why I didn't take the job? 'Cause it's ''[[SuddenlyShouting too SMALL!]]'' I don't care about it! ''It's nothing to me, it's a bacterium! [[BadassBoast I travel in worlds you can't even imagine!]]'' [[YouHaveNoIdeaWhoYoureDealingWith You can't conceive of what I'm capable of!]] ''[[SmallNameBigEgo I'm so far beyond you!]] [[AGodAmI I'm like a god in human clothing!]] '''[[FreakOut LIGHTNING BOLTS SHOOT FROM MY FINGERTIPS!]]'''''

->''"You know why I didn’t take the job? Because it’s too small! I don’t care about it! It’s nothing to me! It’s a bacterium! I travel in worlds you can’t even imagine! You can’t conceive of what I’m capable of! I’m so far beyond you! I’m like a god in human clothing! Lightning bolts shoot from my fingertips!"''
-->--'''Saul Goodman''', "[[Recap/BetterCallSauls5E7JMM JMM]]"

->'''Jimmy:''' Tell me why! It's the least you can do for me now! [[ThickerThanWater I'm your brother! We're supposed to look out for each other]]! [[EtTuBrute Why were you working against me, Chuck]]?\\