History Main / YouShouldHaveDiedInstead

* ''Film/TheLordOfTheRingsTheReturnOfTheKing'': The source of the page quote. Steward Denethor feels this way regarding the death of his eldest and favorite son Boromir, wishing that his younger son Faramir had died instead. While the novel largely leaves this as implied, the movie makes it explicit; Faramir states what he believes his father is thinking (after a scene in the Extended Edition where the Steward berates him and compares him negatively to his brother), and Denethor openly confirms it.

* ''Series/{{House}}'': After Amber's death, Wilson tells House he should have been alone on the bus. It doesn't help House's SurvivorsGuilt any, having said the same thing in his DeadPersonConversation from the finale, but Wilson's not been told anything about that and is clearly just hurting.

** In ''Literature/HarryPotterAndThePrisonerOfAzkaban'', Wormtail tries to justify to Harry, Sirius, and Lupin his betrayal of Lily and James Potter, claiming that Voldemort would have killed him if he hadn't told him where they were. Sirius shouts furiously, "THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED! Died rather than betray your friends, as we would have done for you!" Justified in that Sirius isn't saying it would have been better for Peter to die than James and Lily; rather, he's berating Peter for betraying James and Lily to save his own skin. (He even points out in the rant that any of the others would also have died to protect Peter if necessary.)

* The Johnny Cash biopic ''Film/WalkTheLine'' shows how Johnny's father blamed him for his brother's death, and didn't respect his musical accomplishments.
* In ''Film/WalkHardTheDeweyCoxStory'' (an over-the-top parody of ''Film/WalkTheLine'' and other musical biopics), his own ''father'' tells him "The wrong kid died." [[https://youtu.be/GdtfcOlr0tk Repeatedly]]. He visits Dewey in rehab just to reiterate this, he sings it as he does fieldwork...
* In ''Film/{{Alaska}}'' Sean says to his father's face how he wishes he had died and not his mom.
* In ''Film/StandByMe'', Gordy was never as understood or loved by his parents as his athletic big brother, who was killed in a car crash a year before the film. He has a [[BadDreams nightmare]] at one point, being at the funeral, and hearing his father say, "It should have been you, Gordon." While this might be AllJustADream, Gordy mentions another detail about the funeral a moment later as it were true...
** Unfortunately, parents don't need to use words to make such a message understood.
* ''Literature/OrdinaryPeople'': Beth makes it no secret that she wished Conrad had died instead of Buck.

* In ''Film/TheHangoverPartIII'', Alan's father dies of a heart attack in the beginning. At the funeral, Alan says [[KickTheDog his mother should have been the one who died]].
* In ''Film/IMissYouIMissYou'', after her twin sister Cilla gets hit by a car and dies while Tina remains unharmed, Tina has nightmares where Cilla tells Tina that she should have died instead because she didn't saw the car coming.
* ''Film/AvengersEndgame'' reveals that [[spoiler:[[ComicBook/{{Hawkeye}} Clint Barton]]]] lost his entire family to [[Film/AvengersInfinityWar the Decimation]], and is coping with it by traveling the world butchering criminal groups who ''weren't'' dusted. When a {{yakuza}} boss asks for his motive, [[spoiler:Clint]] responds with this trope.
-->'''Ronin:''' They got Thanos. You get me.

->'''Faramir:''' You wish now that our places had been exchanged. That I had died and Boromir had lived?\\

-->-- ''Film/TheLordOfTheRings''

* ''Film/TheLordOfTheRings'': The source of the page quote. Steward Denethor feels this way regarding the death of his eldest and favorite son Boromir, wishing that his younger son Faramir had died instead. While the novel largely leaves this as implied, the movie makes it explicit; Faramir asks the question (after several scenes in which his father berates him and compares him negatively to his brother), and Denethor openly admits this to be the case.

* In ''Literature/TheLordOfTheRings'', Denethor believes his youngest son, Faramir, should have died in place of his elder brother Boromir, Denethor's favorite. He's less blatant about it in the books than in the film adaptation (the latter being the source of the page quote), but it's still there under the surface. It's strategic thinking mixed up with ParentalFavoritism as Boromir was widely considered the better warrior on top of Denethor getting on with him better. Faramir's refusal to take the Ring compounds this, as Denethor wanted one son or the other to bring it to him as a weapon of last resort--Boromir would have (or so Denethor believes) and Faramir utterly refused when given an even better chance to take it than his brother had.[[note]]As for who was responsible for the brothers having the places they did: both had the prophetic dream, Boromir claimed the quest out of BigBrotherInstinct, and Denethor agreed.[[/note]]

* ''Fanfic/FatesCollide'': Astolfo sacrifices himself by TakingTheBullet for Ruby Rose. In the sequel, ''Lost to Dust'', Astolfo's friend Bradamante angrily says Ruby should have been the one to die.

* Satirical variation: British columnist Creator/VictorLewisSmith has been quoted as saying "The Beatles are dying in the wrong order." Creator/GeorgeCarlin wrote something similar: "The wrong two Beatles died first." Comedienne Judy Tenuta once joked that Music/JohnLennon's assassin Mark David Chapman would have been considered a hero if he'd aimed [[Main/YokoOhNo two feet to the left]].

** ''VideoGame/TalesOfBerseria'': The final confrontation with [[BigBad Artorius]] leads him to tell Velvet that he wished she and Laphicet had died during the first Crimson Night, instead of his wife Celica and their unborn son. Velvet understands, but points out that she knows it would have made no difference -- either way, Artorius would have attempted to go through with his plan of eradicating emotions in humanity, just that his reason for doing so would have been their death instead.

** In ''Literature/HarryPotterAndThePrisonerOfAzkaban'', Wormtail tries to justify to Harry, Sirius, and Lupin his betrayal of Lily and James Potter, claiming that Voldemort would have killed him if he hadn't told him where they were. Sirius shouts furiously, "THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED! Died rather than betray your friends, as we would have done for you!" Justified in that Sirius isn't saying Peter should have died ''instead of'' James and Lily; he's saying that Peter should have died ''rather than betray'' James and Lily. (He even points out that any of them would have done the same for Peter.)

** In ''Literature/HarryPotterAndThePrisonerOfAzkaban'', Wormtail tries to justify to Harry, Sirius, and Lupin his betrayal of Lily and James Potter, claiming that Voldemort would have killed him if he hadn't told him where they were. Sirius shouts furiously, "THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED! Died rather than betray your friends, as we would have done for you!"
** The others would have chosen death over betrayal so Sirius' attitude can be justified in this case -- particularly seeing how Sirius has had to carry the guilt of trusting Wormtail by suggesting Wormtail be the Potter's Secret-Keeper needed for the Fidelius charm to work, wherein Wormtail betrayed the Potters to Voldemort by revealing their hiding place.

* ''Literature/TheLordOfTheRings'', as shown by the page quote. Faramir asks the question directly after several chapters of slights and implications that Boromir would have done a ''way'' better job defending Gondor than his "wizard's pupil" of a brother. It's strategic thinking mixed up with ParentalFavoritism as Boromir was widely considered the better warrior on top of Denethor getting on with him better. Faramir's refusal to take the Ring compounds this, as Denethor wanted one son or the other to bring it to him as a weapon of last resort--Boromir would have (or so Denethor believes) and Faramir utterly refused when given an even better chance to take it than his brother had.[[note]]As for who was responsible for the brothers having the places they did: both had the prophetic dream, Boromir claimed the quest out of BigBrotherInstinct, and Denethor agreed.[[/note]]

%* ''Literature/OrdinaryPeople'': Beth makes it no secret that she wished Conrad had died instead of Buck.

* Satirical variation: British columnist Creator/VictorLewisSmith has been quoted as saying "The Beatles are dying in the wrong order." Creator/GeorgeCarlin wrote something similar: "The wrong two Beatles died first." Comedienne Judy Tenuta once joked that Music/JohnLennon's assassin Mark David Chapman would have been considered a hero if he'd aimed [[Music/YokoOhNo two feet to the left]].

* In ''Manga/{{Naruto}}'', Neji essentially has this attitude toward Hiashi, and to a lesser extent, Hinata, and the cause of his resentment toward the head family is blaming them for his father, Hizashi's, death. When Neji was four and Hinata was three, Hinata was kidnapped, and her father Hiashi killed the kidnapper, an important dignitary from the Cloud Village. The Cloud Village then demanded the murderer's death, and the head family had Hizashi die in Hiashi's place, although it later turns out that Hizashi did so willingly.

* In Creator/AndreNorton's ''Literature/StormOverWarlock'', when Shann finds Thorvald in the dreams, and Thorvald registers him, Thorvald says that Garth had died in the Throg attack, and Shann should have died too. On the other hand, he is still in the grip of the dreams at the time -- as soon as he realizes that Shann is really there, he is warm and welcoming.

* Being an AffectionateParody of ''Literature/TheLordOfTheRings'', [[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Literature/Eludoran Eludoran]] has an instance of this between Lorelei and Arulaine that mirrors the Denethor-Faramir example.

* In ''VideoGame/TalesOfSymphonia'', during [[spoiler:Zelos' "night in Flanoir"]] scene, [[spoiler:Zelos]] reveals to you that [[spoiler:his mother]] was shot by an arrow that was meant for him. [[spoiler:His mother]] hits the point home with: [[spoiler:"You should have never been born."]]
** A sentiment related to this trope comes up when Pietro escapes from the Asgard-area Human Ranch, only to be reduced to a nearly mindless shell of his former self, and his escape indirectly leads to the Desians attacking and razing Luin, taking the survivors to the ranch. When Sophia is reluctant to have Pietro show the party how to re-enter the human ranch, Sheena angrily reminds her that because of him, many people from Luin lost their lives, and the least he can do is help.

* In ''Manga/SkipBeat'', it's a little unclear how the car accident death of Hizuri Kuon's older friend Rick came about, sending him into an AngstComa, but a large part of the reason it hit him so hard is that a blonde woman attached to them both expressed this sentiment and called Kuon a murderer. Even if he was (illegally) driving the car, it would have been a completely accidental vehicular homicide, since Rick couldn't even get the kid to do violence to a chicken because of his excessive empathy. And it doesn't look like he was driving. He only got out of the AngstComa by turning into [[spoiler: Tsuruga Ren.]] And when he almost got into a car accident when a little boy ran in front of his stunt vehicle, he suffered flashbacks.

** The previous game has a non-familial example. Years ago, Simon Blackquill
took the blame for the murder of Metis Cykes so he could protect Athena (an eleven-year-old child) from the setting's KangarooCourt[=s.=] His sister never forgave Athena for Simon's decision, and later tries to kidnap and kill her out of IrrationalHatred. (Simon himself is not pleased.)

->'''Faramir:''' You wish now that our places had been exchanged. that I had died and Boromir had lived?\\

->'''Faramir:''' You wish now that our places had been exchanged... that I had died and Boromir had lived?\\

* ''Literature/PercyJacksonAndTheOlympians'' Hades tells [[spoiler: Nico]] that he wishes that [[spoiler: Nico]] had died instead of [[spoiler: Bianca]].

-->''They got Thanos. You get me.''

* ''Film/AvengersEndgame'' reveals that [[spoiler:[[ComicBook/{{Hawkeye}} Clint Barton]] lost his entire family to [[Film/AvengersInfinityWar the Decimation]], and is coping with it by traveling the world butchering criminal groups who ''weren't'' dusted. When a {{yakuza}} boss asks for his motive, Clint responds with this trope.]]

* In ''VideoGame/GodOfWarPS4'', when Kratos saw a vision of Atreus holding his deceased mother, the latter flat-out admits that he wished that his father is dead instead of her.