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[[caption-width-right:350: In all fairness, have ''you'' tried giving a massage without fingers?]]
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* ''Series/RedDwarf:'' At the end of "Pete, Part 2", the ship's captain is getting a massage to deal with the various insanity he's faced thanks to Lister and Rimmer. The massage goes fine until the massuse steps out, and a freshly hatched ''velocipator'' wanders in and licks him. End result? The captain's too traumatised to speak anymore, and decides the best thing to do is throw ''himself'' into solitary confinement for six months.
