History Main / CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon

* [[Wrestling/DwayneJohnson The Rock]] actually had one of these as a CatchPhrase: "The Rock's gonna take your candy ass down to the corner of Know Your Role Boulevard and Jabroni Drive, and check you into the Smackdown Hotel!"

A SuperTrope to IWillTearYourArmsOff. See also CoolAndUnusualPunishment or CruelAndUnusualDeath, for when these bizarre threats are actually ''effective''. ToThePain is usually invoked if played seriously, IllKillYou when it's not so convoluted. See FreudianThreat for when the threat focuses specifically on a character's naughty bits. Compare OnceKilledAManWithANoodleImplement and FloweryInsults.

* From ''Radio/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy'':

** Also, listen to [[Music/DareToBeStupid "One More Minute"]] by the Al... this time it's subverted in that it isn't threats to anyone else, but what he would rather do instead of being with his ex. Actions preferred: ripping out his intestines with a fork, putting an icepick under a few of his toenails, diving into a swimming pool with double-edged razor blades, and the clincher: "I'd rather rip my heart right out of my ribcage with my bare hands and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it 'til I die."

* Although not a direct threat, Music/WeirdAlYankovic's "Virus Alert" warns of a computer virus that will allegedly, among other things, "translate your documents into Swahili, make your TV record ''Film/{{Gigli}}'' / neuter your pets, and give your laundry static cling."
** Also, listen to "One More Minute" by the Al... this time it's subverted in that it isn't threats to anyone else, but what he would rather do instead of being with his ex. Actions preferred: ripping out his intestines with a fork, putting an icepick under a few of his toenails, diving into a swimming pool with double-edged razor blades, and the clincher: "I'd rather rip my heart right out of my ribcage with my bare hands and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it 'til I die."

* At the start of ''VideoGame/EmoGame'', after [[Music/{{Aerosmith}} Steven Tyler]] kidnaps Music/TheGetUpKids in order to rape them, [[Music/DashboardConfessional Chris Carrabba]] says that, when he gets his hands on Steven, he's going to skull-fuck him with [[GagPenis his 62-pixel-long dick]]. [[spoiler:It turns out that this was ''not'' an idle threat. Not only does Chris actually do it after you defeat Steven, he then [[CrossesTheLineTwice marries Steven's severed head, which is still impaled on his dick]].]]

'''Slartibartfast:''' Late, as in the late [[SurnameFirstNameSurname Dentarthurdent]]. It's a sort of threat, you see. I've never been very good at them myself...

A SuperTrope to IWillTearYourArmsOff. See also CoolAndUnusualPunishment or CruelAndUnusualDeath, for when these bizarre threats are actually ''effective''. ToThePain is usually invoked if played seriously, IllKillYou when it's not so convoluted. See FreudianThreat for when the threat focuses specifically on a character's naughty bits. Compare OnceKilledAManWithANoodleImplement.

--> '''El Cid''': Sir, if you come any closer to me, I will chop off your teeth and wear them around my ears and put a [[UsefulNotes/GianniVersace Versace]] logo on them. Don’t you take one step further!

** When Morgan is giving Amy lessons on how to mug people, some of her attempts fail because they’re too long-winded, or because she uses the word “please” while trying to be threatening.
** In Amy’s epilogue, Amy’s mom tells the protagonist that if Amy doesn’t come back from college in one piece, she’ll break him into the same number of pieces she’s in. Subverted in that he’s is pretty intimidated anyway; [[spoiler:being threatened by a monarch]] is never anything to sneeze at, after all.

This trope is when a threat -- usually a death threat -- is PlayedForLaughs by being a bit, well, odd. This can include a threat that's unnecessarily long and convoluted, and the one making it gets a bit lost; or a threat that simply [[NoodleImplements incorporates some really bizarre elements]]; or a pathetically nonthreatening sort of threat ("Do X, or I'll... [[PokeThePoodle give you some really evil looks when your back is turned]]!").

* ''TabletopGame/MagicTheGathering'' has this memorable example from the flavor text for the card [[http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?&id=6104 Hatred]]:

Sometimes, FridgeHorror makes the more bizarre elements [[NightmareFuel even more terrifying]] and {{Squick}}ier. It's one thing to threaten someone with a sharp knife or even a gun; those cut pretty quickly and can be almost painless (at first; ever heard of the term "clean cut"?). However, going after someone with a spoon dictates [[BrainBleach hours of potential digging into a person very crudely to get the same effect]].

Rusty and/or dull cutlery seems to be a particular favorite, though.

Sometimes, FridgeHorror [[NightmareFuel makes the more bizarre elements]] [[FridgeHorror even more terrifying]] and {{Squick}}ier. It's one thing to threaten someone with a sharp knife or even a gun; those cut pretty quickly and can be almost painless (at first; ever heard of the term "clean cut"?). However, going after someone with a spoon dictates [[BrainBleach hours of potential digging into a person very crudely to get the same effect]].

This trope is usually seen in comedy, for obvious reasons. See also CoolAndUnusualPunishment or CruelAndUnusualDeath, for when these bizarre threats are actually ''effective''. ToThePain is usually invoked if played seriously, "IllKillYou" when it's not so convoluted. "IWillTearYourArmsOff!" is a specific SubTrope. FreudianThreat for when the threat focuses specifically on a character's naughty bits. Compare OnceKilledAManWithANoodleImplement.

[[folder:Podcast]]

->''"Because it's '''dull''', you twit! It'll '''hurt more!"'''''

[[folder:Web Original]]
* Happens sometimes in the ''WebOriginal/ProtectorsOfThePlotContinuum'' and ''Fanfic/OfficialFanfictionUniversity'' 'verse.
** "If either of you finish that sentence, I'm going to hang you both from each other's intestinal tracts!"
** "If you ever bring that up again, I'll deny everything and I will not rest until every student in this building is convinced that [[UsefulNotes/FurryFandom your human self]] is a [[{{GIRL}} thirty-five-year-old man]]."
** "But you pull this ''come-wiz-me-to-ze-casbah'' routine on me again, and I'm still going to rip your teeth out. Through your rectum."
** "You make ''one'' more comment about '[[Literature/{{Discworld}} rat-onna-stick]]', PPC boy, and ''I will eat your soul."''
** "TWO WORDS, YOU [[PlantAliens MANURE-CONSUMING EXCUSE FOR A SPOTTY WHITE TOADSTOOL]]! ''LAWN MOWER!"''
** "One false move from yew, sir, one word outta yore mouth wot I don't like, an' I'll cockblock yer by kickin' it till ye 'ave a falsetto wot'd make Music/JustinBieber jealous." In the same MSTing, a reluctant riffer was threatened with being forced to hang around with resident EnfantTerrible Molly.
** "Are you aware of the number of live eel larvae the nasal cavity can accommodate? Make me listen to [[BerserkButton one more comment about my name]] and you'll find out."
* In the ''Don't Press the Red Button'' game, at one point after clicking the button a certain number of times, it threatens to cut off your head with a toothbrush.
* Dane threatens to castrate Ian with the edge of a plastic spoon in ''Literature/StatlessAndTactless''.
* [[http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140823155024/segaforumgames/images/5/59/Yousuck.png This]] epic rant at the UnpleasableFanbase of Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog features a couple:
-->I personally hope that Creator/MichaelBay and Uwe Boll team up and are put in charge of the live-action adaptation of your favorite anime. [...] I hope that a SEGA Dreamcast falls on your head and puts you in a coma until 2047.
* [[Creator/BobChipman MovieBob]] on Film/{{Pixels}}:
--> I didn't merely hate this movie, I wanted to beat it slowly to death with a [[NerfArm wiffle ball bat]], so it would take f*cking longer!
* ''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged'':
** In episode 3, we have poor Krillin attempting to break some bad news to Chi-Chi which leads to this trope.
-->'''Krillin:''' So... Chi-Chi. ''Hypothetically''; what would you do if you were told your husband was dead and your son was kidnapped by his worst enemy?\\
'''Chi-Chi:''' [[GroinAttack I'd castrate]] [[ShootTheMessenger the messenger]] in his sleep with [[CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon a rusty carving knife]].\\
'''Krillin:''' Oh... Then it's a good thing I'm ''not'' telling you that! ''(nervous laughter)''\\
''(Chi-Chi briefly joins in with Krillin's laughter)''\\
'''Chi-Chi:''' ''(eerily)'' Would you like to spend the night?\\
'''Krillin:''' [[TooDumbToLive ...Against my better judgment]].
** Episode 9 has Gohan making a threat like this in a rather eloquent manner in reaction to Piccolo's death.
-->'''Gohan:''' [[SophisticatedAsHell I'm gonna eviscerate you and use your gastrointestinal tract as a condom while I fornicate with your skull!]]\\
'''Nappa:''' (''{{Beat}}'') ...What?\\
'''Gohan: ''[[LaymansTerms I'M GONNA SKULLF**K YOU!]]'''''
** Another one from Chi-Chi in episode 59 when Goku makes Gohan fight Cell.
-->'''Chi-Chi:''' [[MamaBear I AM GOING TO CASTRATE HIM!!!]]\\
''(Later)''\\
'''Chi-Chi''': With a ''[[CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon butterknife]]'', you son of a bitch! I'll tie you to a chair first and gag you with a god damn daikon radish!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Animation]]
* ''Machinima/RedVsBlue'':
-->'''O'Malley:''' I will devour their hearts and crap out their souls!
** In "Visiting Old Friends", when Caboose gets in touch with his "angry side" in order to fight off the {{noob}}s, he shouts absurd threats and insults like "I will eat your unhappiness!" and "Your toast is burnt, and no amount of scraping will remove the black parts!"
* ''Machinima/AyudaMundial'' (roughly translated as World-Wide Help), a Latin American Halo machinima gives us this gem:
-->'''Oscar:''' ''[to a [[BreakingTheFourthWall curious fanboy]]]'' If you dare finish that sentence, I swear to God that I'll [[EyeScream gouge your eyes out]] with a screwdriver. Then I'll [[GroinAttack cut your dick off]] and sharpen it until I can ''stick it on your neck'' to give you a tracheoechtomy. Finally, I'll scrape your skin off with a potato peeler and I'll ''squeeze'' it so I can send threatening letters to your whole family written '''''with your own BLOOD'''''!!
* ''Machinima/Supermarioglitchy4sSuperMario64Bloopers'': From "Luigi and the Haunted Castle":
-->'''Luigi:''' what [[RougeAnglesOfSatin happenss]] if you catch me and chop me up! and then chop me up some more! then eat me and turn me into ghost poo!\\
'''Big Boo:''' ew! [[WantonCrueltyToTheCommonComma thats]] disgusting! who would do that? I'm a sensitive guy.
* From the web series ''WebAnimation/NeuroticallyYours'', Foamy the Squirrel does this in the episode "Zip Codes" to Franklin, the [=StarSchmucks=] barista, he keeps asking Foamy to fill out paperwork. Just to order a cup of black coffee.
-->'''Foamy the Squirrel:''' I will fucking kill you. DO YOU HEAR ME?!? I will tear off your fucking balls and staple them to your fucking forehead! NOW STOP FUCKING AROUND AND GET ME MY FUCKING COFFEE!
* Spoofed in Web cartoon series ''WebAnimation/RetardedAnimalBabies''. Puppy threatens to "vivisect [Cat] with [a] fondue fork" and "rape [him] with a handful of rusty corncob holders".
* In the web cartoon ''Go! Go! Mobaboy'', the bad guy threatens our hero with "I'm gonna hit you so hard, your voice actor will feel it!"
* ''[[WebAnimation/DorklyOriginals Dorkly.com]]'' has a [[http://www.dorkly.com/article/1623/overheard-on-xbox-issue-1 regular feature ]] that has loads of these.
* In the OrphanedSeries ''WebAnimation/KermitKombat'', Kermit does the "getting a bit lost" variant, before getting sidetracked by realizing that's he's not speaking to the person he called:
-->'''Kermit:''' I'm going to kill you. I'm going to rip your eyes out of your head and shove them up your ass, so you can watch me kicking your ass... um, while I'm kicking you ass! I'll tear into you like a monkey on a cupcake. I'll hit you so hard your dog is gonna be retarded! I'm gonna...\\
'''Bob the cat:''' Um.. excuse me. Who is this?\\
'''Kermit:''' ''[blushes in embarrassment]'' Um... is this Rocky Pinnacle?
* Creator/SamAndMickey's ''Love Triangle Therapy'' Episode 2 has Yasmin give a surprisingly gruesome answer when Barbie asks what she'd do, hypothetically, if she learned about Ken having an affair with another woman. [[spoiler:Yasmin threatens to cut off that woman's hands, then sew her vagina shut with an un-sterilized needle and thread.]]
* Not a threat, but [[WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation Yahtzee]]'s description of what he would just as soon do to himself as buy a $70 game that amounts to an expansion pack is suitably graphic: "swallow razor wire, pull the end out of my arse, and floss myself to death."
* ''WebAnimation/MeetTheAmazingTeam'':
** ''Meet The Amazing Pyro'': Just before they fight, Saxton Hale tells Pyro the two options before him:
--->'''Saxton Hale:''' Either we fight so you can get revenge and ruin my plans, or you can leave immediately because '''''I will rip your spine out of your ass if you pick option one!'''''
** A later video, ''The Amazing Interrogation'', features an amusingly bizarre yet ''horrifically plausible'' threat from Soldier, which he proceeds to elaborate upon repeatedly. Spy, upon realizing that Soldier is completely insane and actually ''would'' follow through on his threat, is appropritely horrified.
--->'''Soldier:''' I will crap in your mouth!\\
'''Spy:'''...[[FlatWhat what]].\\
'''Soldier:''' C'mere sweetheart!\\
'''Spy:''' ''What?!''\\
'''Soldier:''' ''[[EvilLaugh Mwah hah ha ha ha]]!''\\
'''Spy:''' ''Help!''\\
'''Soldier:''' ''I have '''ten pounds''' of crap!''\\
'''Spy:''' ''[[BigNo NOOOO]]''!\\
'''Soldier: ''We are in a world of doody!'''''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Films -- Animated]]
* In ''{{WesternAnimation/Ratatouille}}'', Skinner catches Linguini messing with the soup, and threatens to have him drawn and quartered, "after you take him to the duck press to squeeze the fat from his head!" Duck presses do squeeze the fat out of ducks. However, they're usually not big enough to stick a person's head in; but Linguini is obviously NOT familiar with kitchens, thus it could still be a very formidable threat. And, of course, Skinner's just going apoplectic at Linguini 'rising above his station' by fixing the soup (possibly a KickTheDog moment to reinforce the fact that Skinner's an evil little man, bent only on dominating the frozen food market by sullying Gusteau's good name?)
** It should also be noted that one of the chefs can apparently kill a man [[NoodleImplements with his thumb]]. [[Film/TwentyEightDaysLater The British]] [[Film/TheDescent have it covered]].
* ''WesternAnimation/LiloAndStitch'': Nani has been locked out of the house, and screams to Lilo that if she doesn't let her in, she's going to purée her in the blender, bake her into a pie and feed it to the social worker... [[RightBehindMe just as said social worker arrives]].
* In ''WesternAnimation/StitchTheMovie'', when Hämsterviel calls Pleakley demanding the other 624 experiments as ransom for Jumba:
-->'''Hämsterviel''': Wait for my phone call. I will then tell you the ransom exchange location, and call you many nasty names!
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Madagascar}}'': Alex threatens Marty with "I'm going to strangle you, and bury you, and then dig you up and clone you, then I'm gonna kill all your clones, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking then I'm never talking to you again!]]"
* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Cars}}'', Doc's first lines consist of ranting about how he'll throw Lightning in jail for so long the jail will rot on top of him, then build a new jail and let that one rot -- considering the characters are cars and the jail is an open-air impound lot, this would be impressive, to say the least.
* Creator/{{Disney}}'s ''WesternAnimation/{{Mulan}}'':
** "I'm gonna hit you so hard it'll make your ancestors dizzy!"
** When Chi Fu questions Mushu disguised as an official riding a panda:
--->'''Chi Fu''': Who are you?\\
'''Mushu''': ''[disguised as an official]'' Excuse me? I think the question is, who are ''you''? We're in a war, man! There's no time for stupid questions! I should have your hat for this, snatch it right off your head! But I'm feeling gracious today, so carry on before I report you.
* In Ralph Bakshi's ''WesternAnimation/{{Wizards}}'', Avatar explains to the newly-reformed Necron 99 (now renamed "Peace"), that if he betrays the party, Avatar will do something that will, "Take twenty years to kill you, and you'll be screaming for mercy in the first ten seconds."
* In ''WesternAnimation/TheEmperorsNewGroove'', Yzma's initial plan to kill Kuzco is as follows:
-->'''Yzma''': I'll turn him into a flea, a harmless little flea. Then, I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself. And when it arrives (EvilLaugh), [[LargeHam I'LL SA-MASH IT WITH A HAMMER!]]
* The animated film ''WesternAnimation/BebesKids'' has Robin making this humorous black-themed threat to one of the kids:
-->'''Robin''': If you don't tell me where your little brother is, I'm gonna beat the ''BLACK'' off you, and you're gonna look lighter than Michael Jackson!
* In ''WesternAnimation/AnExtremelyGoofyMovie'', when [[BoisterousBruiser Tank]] tries to hurt [[PluckyComicRelief Bobby]], [[FatBestFriend PJ]] threatens to hurt him with a biscotti... somehow, though all he says on the subject is "I'm not afraid to use it!" This threat is nullified when Tank bites the biscotti right out of his hand.
* [[MamaBear Eve]] from ''WesternAnimation/AlphaAndOmega'' loves these. When one of the wolves in the pack is hurt, she wants to track down the attacker, tear his tail off, and shove it down his throat. As if they wasn't bad, when her daughter goes missing, she gives this little speech to the other pack:
-->'''Eve:''' If any of you wolves have hurt my daughter, I will personally RIP out your eyes, and SHOVE them down your throat so you can see my claws '''TEAR YOUR CARCASS OPEN!'''
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Shrek}}'' gives a string of threats of this kind to the villagers who hunt him, after correcting them that it's ''giants'' who grind your bones to make their bread rather than ogres.
-->'''Shrek''': Ogres will [[GenuineHumanHide make a suit from your freshly peeled skin]], shave your liver, [[EyeScream squeeze the jelly from your eyes]]... actually, it's quite good on toast.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Comic Strips]]
* ''ComicStrip/{{Garfield}}'':
** In an early strip, Jon does this when he sees Garfield climbing on the drapes.
--->'''Jon:''' Be careful there, Garfield. Hanging on the drapes can be very painful. 'CAUSE I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR LEGS IF YOU DON'T GET OFF THEM THIS INSTANT!
** Another classic, Jon says that Garfield can have one bite of the roast chicken. Garfield proceeds to shove his mouth around [[BigEater the entire chicken at once]].
--->'''Jon:''' You swallow and I'll tie a knot in your neck.
** Garfield has, on multiple occasions, threatened to remove Jon's lips. Once, he apparently made good on his threat.
** Gafield once threatened to kick Odie into next Tuesday. He did. The Tuesday of the following week, Odie, having been absent for a week [[BrickJoke drops into the panel]].
* ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}'':
** An angry Peppermint Patty once threatened Charlie Brown by declaring, "By golly, if I ever hit a deep drive to center field, and I round first base, and I round second base, and I round third base and I go tearing into home like a runaway freight, he'd better not be in my way!"
** In another strip, Peppermint Patty was arguing with Thibault, a player on her sandlot baseball team:
--->'''Patty:''' One more word out of you, Thibault, and I'll shred you!!\\
'''Thibault:''' That's the first time in my life I've ever been threatened with a shredding!
** In another, Peppermint Patty -- again -- was practicing figure skating, when some mean hockey players tried to scare her off the ice:
--->'''Hockey Player:''' You wouldn't want to be hit with a hockey stick, would you, beautiful?\\
'''Patty:''' How would you like to be force-fed a pair of goalie pads?!
** Linus and Lucy arguing over him having to memorize and recite a scripture passage for a Christmas pageant:
--->'''Linus:''' Who was Jeremiah? Where was Rama? Why was Rachel so upset? You can't recite something until you know the "who," the "where," and the "why"!\\
'''Lucy:''' I'll tell you the "who," the "where," and the "why"! You start memorizing right now, or you'll know who is going to slug you, and you'll know where she's going to slug you, and you'll know why she slugged you!!!
** A toned-down variant of the Christmas recital scene is used in ''WesternAnimation/ACharlieBrownChristmas'':
--->'''Linus:''' I can't memorize something like this so quickly. Why should I be put through such agony? Give me one good reason why I should memorize this.\\
'''Lucy:''' ''[curls her fingers up into a fist]'' I'll give you five good reasons; One, two, three, four, five!\\
'''Linus:''' Those are good reasons. Christmas is not only getting too commercial, it's getting too dangerous.
** Lucy, when Linus won't let her watch the TV program that she wants:
--->'''Lucy:''' See these five fingers? Individually they are nothing, but when I curl them together like this into a single unit, they form a weapon that is terrible to behold!
* In the ''ComicStrip/MrPotatoHead'' comic strip, Mr. Potato Head's daughter Julienne once reacted to her little brother Chip's latest prank by threatening to wrap him in tinfoil and take him to the beach.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Comic Books]]
* Vincent to Edaniel, in ''Manga/{{Bizenghast}}'': "I am going to kill you right in the face."
* Creator/WarrenEllis seems to have a talent with these. Take this example from ''ComicBook/{{Planetary}}'':
-->'''Jakita Wagner:''' You're going to tell me what your problem is, or I will find a ''very small'' hole and reenact your birth.
* ''Film/TheViewAskewniverse'' comics:
** In ''Holiday Special'', [[spoiler:Randal urges Dante to give his catatonic ex Caitlyn a "caning", meaning to insert a candy cane into her vagina, in an attempt to break her out of her coma. It works, but she is not happy]]:
-->'''Caitlyn:''' If I ever see you again, I'm going to shove my pointer-finger into your piss-hole, Dante Hicks!!! I'll tear your fucking scrotum off and your heart out and shove one into the other and feed them to you before you die, you sick fucking pervert!!!
** In ''Walt Flanagan's Dog'', Jay bursts into a string of threats when Randal calls him a "fucking junkie". Among other things, he threatens to "fucking tear off your sweaty sack and make you wear it like a fucking clown nose".
* In ''ComicBook/TheSandman'', the Carnifex of Aurelia threatens to pop Cluracan's eyes out with his thumbs and then piss in his sockets. A guard confirms that he's seen him do this.
* Creator/GarthEnnis tends to have his characters follow these kinds of threats by actually carrying them out.
** Jody from ''ComicBook/{{Preacher}}'' threatens a {{Mook}} by saying he will "rip off yore head and have T.C. shit down the neck stump". Then he rips the guy's head off. Then T.C. shits down the neck stump.
** Pittsy, a psychotic mobster from ''ComicBook/ThePunisherMAX'' threatens a CIA operative by saying he'll ''"cut [his] balls off and put 'em in a paper cup."'' The agent is next seen clutching his bloody groin with one hand and holding a blood dripping paper cup in the other.
** General Kriegkopf from the Marvel Knights Punisher run says he'll rape Frank's corpse for a year, although Frank isn't there to hear it.
* Jill, in the second ''VideoGame/KingdomOfLoathing'' comic: "The name's Jill. You ever call me 'baby' again, and I will personally pull your kneecaps out through your nostrils."
* [[ItsAllAboutMe Prime]], [[FaceHeelTurn formerly known]] as [[AscendedFanboy Superboy-Prime]], lived up to what was by then his [[EvilIsHammy normal standard]] of {{Narm}} in an issue of ''Countdown to Final Crisis'' and delivered an iconically simple one of these to the villain Monarch.
-->'''Prime:''' I'll kill you! I'll kill you '''''[[DepartmentofRedundancyDepartment to death!!]]'''''
* In ''ComicBook/TheWickedAndTheDivine'', Badb threatens to rip out Baphomet's shin bone and use it as a dildo.
* Dr. Nemesis of the ''ComicBook/XMen'' is an ever-reliable source of these.
-->'''Dr. Nemesis:''' Pay attention or I shall feed you to my lab.\\
'''Dr. Nemesis:''' ... If you even think about telling them I said so, I'll inflict poleshift on your digestive system.\\
'''Dr. Nemesis:''' Eat viral liquefaction, unethically cloned carbon-waste. I'll put my science in you! '''I'll put my science in all of you!'''
* ''Franchise/GIJoe'':
** ''ComicBook/GIJoeARealAmericanHeroMarvel'':
*** In the 17th issue of the spinoff title ''G.I. Joe: Special Missions'', Stalker threatens to pull out Saxon's tonsils through his nostrils if he ever tries to enlist the Joes to take the blame for his screw-ups again.
*** The 83rd issue of the main series has Zartan make an interesting threat to Dr. Mindbender.
---->'''Zartan:''' If you ever raise your voice to me again, I will pull your tongue out through your left nostril...
** The third issue of the ''Silent Option'' miniseries of ''ComicBook/GIJoeARealAmericanHeroIDW'' has Helix give a colorful threat to an air traffic coordinator.
--->'''Helix:''' We're looking for ''trafficked kids''. If a single hair on one of them is damaged because you ''delayed'' us, I'm coming back here...and I'm going to ''peel your face off'' and use it where the sun don't shine.
* ''ComicBook/MarvelAdventures: ComicBook/SpiderMan'': Venom tries to coerce Spider-Man into letting him be his sidekick, but Spidey refuses. So Venom threatens to reveal his identity to the world. Spidey doesn't care. But then, Venom threatens to reveal to Aunt May the location of his secret Candy Stash. Spidey starts worrying. Finally, Venom threatens to tell [[FirstLove Liz Allan]] who slipped those SecretAdmirer notes into her locker during freshman year!
--> '''Spider-Man:''' NO! WAIT!
* ''ComicBook/LukeCageHeroForHire'': After wrecking Erik Josten in a fight over the title of "Power Man", Luke delivers this threat to an unconscious Josten:
-->"If you ever call yourself Power Man again...I will tattoo that name on your ribcage!"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Anime & Manga]]
* ''Manga/FullmetalAlchemist'': [[TheNapoleon Ed]] says some random things whenever someone hits his BerserkButton. "I'll break down your feet and stick them on your head!"
** When [[AfraidOfNeedles he has to get an injection]] in [[Anime/FullmetalAlchemist the 2003 anime]]; "I'll turn you all into fish!"
* In the western (like, cowboy) [[ShoujoDemographic shojo]] manga ''Manga/{{Miriam}}'', a crooked sheriff has the protagonists locked up on false charges. When they start complaining, he says he'll add to the charges if they don't shut up... then says he'll add things like stealing a hotel ashtray, cheating in cards, and hitting on girls in stores.
* ''LightNovel/HaruhiSuzumiya'':
** The title character managed to combine two of her chief preoccupations in this threat:
--->'''Haruhi:''' Anyone accepting defeat will be punished by running 10 laps around the school! '''[[{{Fanservice}} Naked!]]''' And you'll have to yell '[[SpaceAlien Green martians]] are chasing me' for the whole 10 laps!
** She does it again to Kyon when [[LoveLetterLunacy she thinks he wrote an embarrassingly schmaltzy love-letter to Yuki]].
---> '''Haruhi:''' First, you are to leap up a wall with a dry salted fish in your mouth and fight for territory with other wild cats! And you have to wear cat ears while doing it!
** Nearly all of the threats she makes qualify somewhat, due to being so [[TheComicallySerious serious]] and [[LargeHam over-the-top]].
* ''Manga/InuYasha'' in the English dub:
-->'''[=InuYasha=]''' (to Sesshoumaru): I'm gonna rip your guts out and put them in a bowl!
* ''Manga/{{Hellsing}}'' had a few; most from Jan Valentine.
-->"I'm gonna fuck that bitch, shoot her in the head, and ''fuck her there!!''
* ''Manga/FruitsBasket'': Yuki tells Kakeru he'll never speak to him again, and it's only just out of his mouth when he realizes how embarrassingly childish that sounds. Fortunately, Kakeru is embarrassingly childish. Kakeru later threatens to make Yuki "walk through a red light district".
** In the Australian version, rather than threatening Kakeru with silence, Yuji threatens to 'break up with him.' ''HilarityEnsues''
* ''Anime/FullMetalPanicFumoffu'': when Tessa was spending some R&R in Jindai disguised as a US transfer student, Mardukas gave an ultimatum to Sousuke: if anything happens to her or he tries to take advantage of the situation by doing something dirty, he'll be loaded in the TDD-1's torpedo tube and launched. The Hungarian dub also mentions something about being thrown into the submarine's reactor until he glowed.
** Originally, this was after threats of [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus being forced to teach self-defense against people armed with bananas and doing the silly walk around the base]].
* The English dub of ''Anime/ChronoCrusade'' uses this in the first episode, literally with a spoon after [[DirtyOldMan The Elder]] looks up her skirt. She even attempts to do it, stabbing the spoon into the ground.
--> '''Rosette:''' ''[to The Elder]'' I'll kill you with this spoon!
* In one of the latest chapter of ''Manga/SketDance'', Agata was threatened by Saaya's "kidnapper" that if he doesn't come within the time limit for the next puzzle, 'he'll make Saaya rap'.
* In one episode of ''Manga/DetectiveSchoolQ'', Ryu responds to some bullies threatening Megumi by knocking one to the ground and putting a metal object to his throat. After the bullies fled, Ryu revealed that the object in question was a spoon, not a knife. Megumi later notes to herself that the expression on Ryu's face made her think that he ''could'' have killed the other boy with that spoon if he had wanted to.
* In the first episode of ''Anime/PaniPoniDash'', when Old Geezer's class is attempting to leave to bother the new teacher of the class next door:
-->'''Old Geezer:''' You step one foot out that door and I'll be standing by your pillow every night.\\
''[class returns to their seats]''\\
'''Old Geezer:''' What a damn buncha cowards.
* ''VisualNovel/ChaosHead'': the New Gen serial murderer is a [[{{Squick}} literal version]] of this trope. [[spoiler:Nurse Hazuki]] uses extremely brutal methods of killing, and the most literal comes when she [[BrainBleach uses a spoon to cut out the brain of her victim]].
* ''Manga/KaguyaSamaLoveIsWar'': The Student Council boys (Miyuki and Ishigami) are listening to Nagisa Kashiwagi's boyfriend (Miyuki is directly responsible for this relationship), who claims to be there asking for advice regarding continuing his relationship. His concerns seem entirely about how wonderful the summer has been and how in love they are... at which point Ishigami whispers that clearly he's really just here to gloat. Miyuki restrains him from doing something horrible with a [[NoodleImplements roll of toilet paper]]. As the boy continues to obliviously talk and they speculate how far he went over the summer with this girl, Ishigami continues to make threatening moves with the toilet paper. Finally, he asks about Miyuki's summer (which was awful as neither he nor Kaguya were willing to reach out to communicate and thus never met), expresses surprise and pity for Miyuki's lack of dating - and it's Ishigami's turn to restrain Miyuki, who has reached an epiphany and suddenly realized [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike what to do with the toilet paper]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Videos]]
* Creator/PurpleEyesWTF made one of these in a video about an internet comment. Purple Eyes talks about an early review of a game in the ''VideoGame/{{SSX}}'' series where the reviewer ragged on the music, despite the game letting a player [[LogicBomb use their own music tracks]]. Nick threatened that if he ever found the reviewer, he would make them walk his cat with a cat leash.
* In ''WebVideo/DoomHouse'', the only line spoken by the Doll (over the phone) is a bizarre, falsetto... well, it's ''a'' threat, that much is obvious. Something to do with putting Reginald's hair in a bowl.
* Sarah in the ''WebVideo/Lonelygirl15'' episode "CAMP PLAY": "Get any closer and I will ''breathe'' on you!"
* ''WebVideo/DrHorriblesSingAlongBlog'':
** The unseen character Bad Horse threatens to "make [Doctor Horrible] his mare." Doctor Horrible stops bobbing his head to the music and acquires an appropriately bewildered look.
** Captain Hammer at one point confusingly threatens "It's curtains for you, Dr. Horrible. Lacy, gently-wafting curtains."
* ''WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment'': "YOU MOTHERFUCKER. I WILL PUNCH YOU IN YOUR FUCKING SOUL, YOU FUCKING ASSHAT!"
* ''WebVideo/CounterMonkey'': "DON'T EVER BRING THESE! I WILL JUMP THE TABLE AND STRANGLE YOU WITH YOUR OWN LUNGS."
* ''WebVideo/TheHorriblySlowMurdererWithTheExtremelyInefficientWeapon''. ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin (very much so. Towards the end, the protagonist would ''beg'' for having his heart cut out with a spoon. It'd be much faster than being [[spoiler: beaten to death by a spoon.]]. The trailer boasts that the murder will take ''years'').
* Now with the ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UH2_CjPS2NE Spaghetti Dinner of the Damned]]'' and the ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9-faa56l-s Spoon VS Spoon]]''
* ''WebVideo/MyWayEntertainment'': From "Imma beat your ass Charles. Imma beat your ass ''[[GrievousHarmWithABody with]]'' [[Franchise/XMen Charles]]" to "It's time for some [[Franchise/PowerRangers Black]] on [[MirrorMatch Black]] crime" to "If [[Manga/{{Bleach}} anybody]] say anything to anyone I will KILL every motherfucker in here you hear me bitch?!". And everything in between.
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQKro8WEZ3I Jessi Slaughter]] will "pop a Glock in your mouth and make a brain slushie."
* Let's Player LetsPlay/AzuriteReaction is fond of this [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Keo0SICk2LI&feature=youtu.be&t=3m17s trope]].
** " I'm the wicked bitch of the west! I'm here to drive you out of your fucking MIND!"
** "I will fuck a million wives. Both. I will fuck lives and wives. I will fucking do it live. WE'RE DOIN' IT LIIIIIIIIIVE!"
** "I WILL EAT YOUR CATS!"
* ''WebVideo/GameGrumps'': After beating him in a traditional Japanese card game, Arin gets this gem from Dan, delivered in the most phlegmatic tone possible.
-->'''Dan:''' I'm gonna pee on you.
* ''WebVideo/{{Kickassia}}'':
** When Team TGWTG is plotting exactly how they're going to take down [[spoiler:WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic]], Bennett the Sage comes up with this gem:
--->'''Bennett:''' I say we castrate him with a fork, tie him to a cactus, and play pinata with his entrails!
** The bloopers take this farther: Bennett comes up with a series of increasingly cheerful and demented methods of torture, moving through "eviscerate him with a saw blade and laugh at his misfortune" and "strap him to a workbench, pour honey on his genitals, then FIRE ANTS" and finally landing on [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking "I say we kill him."]]
* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azOvRwrqz2M Ravandil's Quest]]'' is a two-video ''Warhammer'' campaign following the elf Ravandil questing, with a LOT of verbal vulgarity.
** Many encounters and conversations include this trope, but the most memorable one is definitely Urist the dwarf, who will unleash [[OverlyLongGag overly long]] tirades full of these when provoked in the slightest, and being an elf counts as provocation. "I'm gonna flagellate you with my fucking beard!" is the ''least'' profane threat he makes.
--->'''Urist:''' ALRIGHT, LISTEN TO ME YOU KNIFE-EARED PIECE OF SHIT! IF YOU GO ANY FURTHER WITH YOUR PISS-STAINED PUBIC HAIR YOU CALL A WIG, I'M GONNA WRECK YOUR SHIT SO HARD THAT YOU WON'T EVEN BE ABLE TO WALK WITH YOUR LIMP DICK! I'M GONNA SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR SHAVEN PERFECT LITTLE ASS THAT YOUR BREATH IS GONNA SMELL LIKE SHOE POLISH! THEN I'M GONNA TAKE THAT LITTLE RED ANAL BEAD ON YOUR BELT AND PUSH IT IN YOUR FACE! I'M GONNA FLAGELLATE YOU WITH MY FUCKIN' BEARD! I'M GONNA BUILD YOU A PAIR OF RUNIC MECHANICAL BALLS AND USE SURGICAL PRECISION TO SEW THEM TO YOUR GROIN WHERE YOUR MANHOOD OUGHT TO BE JUST SO THAT I CAN KICK 'EM WITH MY IRON FUCKING FEET, YOU TWAT!
** The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5-Tuo1bmFM sequel]] contains a similar point where Urist unleashes another tirade against some other elves. The fact that Urist seems to be on a hair trigger and can spew these insults/threats at the drop of a hat is pretty impressive.
---> '''Ravandil:''' "Oh for fuck's sake. Urist, you know what to do."
---> '''Urist:''' "ALRIGHT! LISTEN TO ME YOU ''POLE PROPORTIONED DENDROPHILES''. IF YOU TRY ANYTHING NASTY WITH THE ''BITCHBOY'' OVER HERE, IM GONNA TAKE YOUR ''FUCKIN ARROWS'', AND SHOVE THEM INBETWEEN YER POLISHED FINGERNAILS! I'M GONNA TAKE THAT ''BOWSTRING'' OF YOURS, AND STRING YOU UP BY YOUR ''FUCKING FORESKIN'', UNTIL GRAVITY GIVES YOU A BOTCHED CIRCUMCISION, AND PLAY IT LIKE A ''FUCKING VIOLIN''! I'M GONNA HEADBUTT YOU UNTIL THERE'S NOTHING BUT A BUTT LEFT! I'M GONNA COLOR THAT LITTLE ''PANSY'' GREEN SKIRT OF YOURS RED USING YER FUCKING ''BONE MARROW''! YOU BETTER BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING TO WISH THAT YOU WERE NEVER BORN, 'CAUSE I'LL MAKE IT SEEM LIKE YOU NEVER WERE, YE ATROCIOUS FUCKIN' BOIL ON THE FACE OF REALITY! '''I WILL-''' ([[CurseCutShort cut to narrator and map-view]]).
** The Ork Warboss is no slouch either. His threats against Ravandil come across as this trope on account of being veiled in [[WordSaladHumor incomprehensible Cockney slang]].
--->'''Ork:''' I'LL SWEAR TO ME FAKKIN MINCES THAT THE LOOP THE LOOP BE HALF-INCHING ME CITY SLICKERS AS MY COBBLERS SMEAR ALL OVER YOUR NORT AND SOUTH AND I'LL TOM TIT ON YOUR WHISTLE AND FLUTE YA FOREST FAKKA!
** Urist makes a surprise return (being pulled across time and space through [[HyperspaceIsAScaryPlace the Warp]]) in one of the Vox-logs for ''WebAnimation/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDevice'', this time unleashing one of his tirades upon a bunch of Dark Eldar/Drukhari. The latter are no strangers to unusual and bizarre manners of torture and even ''they'' are weirded out.
---> '''Urist:''' LISTEN HERE YA SPIKE-COCKED, TAR-EYED, PLANK-SHAPED, SEWER-ASSED RODENT ANALOGUES! I'M GONNA SHEAR THAT THIN FILM OF SLIME YOU CALL SKIN FROM YER SPINDLY HUSK AND MAKE A FUCKING RAINCOAT OUT OF IT! I'M GONNA SLAM MY FIST DOWN YER THROATS, RIP YER INKY INNARDS OUT AND STITCH A LEATHERY SACK OUT OF 'EM! I'M GONNA SAW YOUR WEE LEGS OFF AND TURN YOUR HOLLOW LEGBONES INTO FUCKING FLUTES! I'M GONNA CRAFT A MAKESHIFT PIPE BAG OUT OF THE RANCID MATERIALS I HAVE HARVESTED FROM YER TWITCHING BODIES, AND THEN I'M GONNA COME AROUND AND PLAY A NICE TUNE AT YER FUNERAL CEREMONIES! '''BEFORE I PISS ON YER FUCKING GRANDMA!!!!'''
%%* In ''Smash Kingdom'', King Dedede, a king with a nation of weapons and variance of abilities, is a bit too dependent on his hammer.
* [[http://www.pajiba.com/videos/the-100-greatest-movie-threats-of-all-time.php This video]] is about 80-90% this trope, containing many examples listed in the film folder (and many that aren't), including the trope namer.
* Cammy's threat of "I'll cut you twice" has become quite infamous in ''WebVideo/ACoupleOfCuntsInTheCountryside''.
* A season 2 promo for ''WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory'' has UsefulNotes/TheodoreRoosevelt threaten the ''ERB'' crew into finishing season 2, lest he chisel himself out of Mount Rushmore and crush them to death with his moustache.
* ''Series/TheWeather'': When his caller fails to come deliver chips and cups to his party within twenty minutes, Robby calls him "scum of the Earth" and threatens to pull their fingers and toes off with his teeth.
* ''Series/TheCryOfMann'': Berry threatens Courtney with a ''very'' violent death.
--> "I WILL BURN YOU ALIVE! I WILL PICK OUT YOUR BRAIN AND EAT IT! I WILL TIE YOUR HEAD TO THE BACK OF A TRAIN, I'M GONNA ROLL THROUGH TOWN, DRAGGING YOUR SKULL, AND THEN I'LL CRACK IT OPEN IN THE CENTER OF TOWN ON TROOL DAY!"
* ''WebVideo/{{Criticized}}'': Arthur gouges out Darian's left eye with a paperclip.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Roleplay]]
* ''Roleplay/STOForumVersusThreadRP'': After the Ferengi {{NPC}} Yek drinks all of Kang and Eleya's water, Eleya has Kang cut one of Yek's fingers off and then says that next time it's his hands and feet, and that they can probably get a good five liters of water by draining his blood into their water purifier. Yek is much more cooperative after that. [[spoiler:For about 24 hours until he gets shot dead by a Hirogen.]]
[[/folder]]

* ''WesternAnimation/{{Shrek}}'' gives a string of threats of this kind to the villagers who hunt him.