History Literature / TheFifthElephant

The 24th {{Discworld}} novel and the fifth in the Watch theme.

The Discworld has been turned upside down by the invention of the Clacks, a continent-spanning network of semaphore towers that acts like a telegraph network. At the same time, Ankh-Morpork's dwarf population has now reached over fifty thousand, technically making it the largest dwarf city outside Uberwald, and "deep-down dwarfs" from the mountain mines have started coming into the city and acting as priest-like figures, mediators of 'true dwarfishness.' Carrot uncovers a spate of mysterious incidents involving them, including the murder of condom manufacturer Wallace Sonky.

Vimes, as Duke of Ankh, is sent by the Patrician to observe the crowning of the new Low King of the Dwarfs, Rhys Rhysson, in {{Uberwald}}. Carrot is left in charge of the Watch, but resigns to pursue Angua after she flees the city when an old friend - a wolf called Gavin - brings her news that her family is involved in something malicious back in the old country. Vimes finds that Vetinari gave him a stealth bodyguard: his nerdy, awkward clerk adjutant Inigo Skimmer is also a trained Assassin (the capital A is important). After some incidents on the journey, they arrive in the Uberwaldean city of Bonk and Vimes is introduced to the local figures -- the vampire Lady Margolotta, Rhys himself, and Angua's estranged werewolf aristocrat relatives, most particularly her brother Wolfgang.

Vimes meets with Rhys and discovers that the Scone of Stone, upon which all Low Kings are crowned, has been stolen. Soon afterwards, however, there is an assassination attempt on the Low King, and Vimes is arrested. Wolfgang, who runs a Nazi-like "survival of the fittest" political organization, has Ankh-Morporkian spies killed along with the clacks operators (cutting Vimes off) and Inigo Skimmer. Vimes escapes from his cell, and meets up with Wolfgang, who hunts Vimes. Vimes manages to fight off the werewolves thanks to the beast within and Angua and Carrot's arrival. In a confrontation on the bridge to his castle, Wolfgang wounds Carrot, kills Gavin and ends up going over a waterfall.

It's discovered that the Scone wasn't stolen, but destroyed, with the deep-down dwarves having used Sonky's rubber moulds and a replica to make a fake Scone. However, Rhys confides in Vimes that in fact the 'real' Stone was the fifth one they'd been on anyway, and uses the metaphor of an axe needing a new head or shaft several times until no part of the original remains, but which is always the same axe. Wolfgang shows up again at the end, and Vimes kills him with a firework.

Meanwhile back in Ankh-Morpork, Sergeant Colon ends up elevated to captain and put in charge of the Watch in Carrot's absence. He swiftly makes a hash of it and Carrot has to undo all the damage before Vimes gets back.

* CrowningMomentOfAwesome: See {{CrowningMoment.Discworld}}
* CrowningMomentOfFunny: See {{Funny.Discworld}}

* DidWeJustHaveTeaWithCthulhu? : sam vimes taking tea with lady Margolotta. you might not think she looks to scary, she is wearing a fluffy pink jumper after all, but i doubt a couple of snippy remarks had Tantony running out the door.
** breaking his obscurifating stupididty disguise at the same time, by reacting to vimes's dismissal before cheery translated it.

* ConvenientlyCommonKink: [[spoiler: Every single dwarf that has a name is secretly female. Yes, even the king.]]
** [[spoiler:Well, only about four are, and I don't know if they mentioned anything about the other dwarf originally set to be king being one...]]
* CoversAlwaysLie: Despite the enraged plummeting pachyderm on the cover of some editions, to say nothing of the title, the book is not actually about an elephant[[hottip:*:Well, it ''is'' about an elephant, but a metaphorical, not literal, one]].

** Also since Discworld has no curvature, unless there are mountains in the way, a signal can travel very far indeed.

*** Until they decide to chase [[{{Badass}} Vimes]], that is.

* AxCrazy: Wolfgang, acknowledged in-story. ThisTroper thinks "Bottle Covey" could very well be an alternate name for that page.

** This troper considered the geopolitical subtext of the plot to be about the West's relationship with the Middle East. Oil reserves deep underground kept by a mysterious (to outsiders), politically fractious, and conservative people with prohibitions about women and "modernization."
*** WordOfGod says it's about the Former Soviet Union, although specific elements may have come from Middle Eastern examples.

** Although this troper wonders if it's got undertones of SweaterGirl, albeit with bats.

*** What's to say she dosen't still have it? Vampires age very slowly after all, and he did seem a touch flustered when he was talking to her in ''Discworld/UnseenAcademicals''.
**** Not to mention that particular dress that nutt talked about in UU.

** This troper always took it as a StealthPun: as elephants hold up the Discworld, this would make a "Fifth Column," or an insurrection.

* BondOneLiner: Deliberately averted; Vimes thinks of some in his head after killing Wolfgang and realises that saying any of them would make him [[IfYouKillHimYouWillBeJustLikeHim nothing more than a cold-hearted murderer.]]

* DressCodedForYourConvenience: Gloriously averted with Margolotta: She dresses like a [[TheFifties '50s]] mum but is probably one of the most dangerous and manipulative characters in the book.

* [[MagnificentBastard Magnificent Bitch]]: Lady Margolotta. Serafine von Uberwald and [[spoiler:Dee]] might also count to a lesser extent.

* NothingUpMySleeve: Inigo Skimmer has a specially designed palm dagger which allows him to remove people's heads with nothing more than a karate chop. Being a CrazyPrepared assassin, he also has little blades that come out of his shoes, a razor-edged hat, and an illegal spring-gonne. None of which saves him in the end.

* TooCoolToLive: Ah, Inigo, we hardly knew you.
** Gavin, Gavin, Gavin, Gavin... me, bitter? Naaaah...

* CoversAlwaysLie: Despite the enraged plummeting pachyderm on the cover of some editions, to say nothing of the title, the book is not actually about an elephant[[hottip:*:Well, it ''is'' about an elephant, but a metaphorical, not literal, one]].

* CoversAlwaysLie: Despite the enraged plummeting pachyderm on the cover of some editions, to say nothing of the title, the book is not actually about an elephant.

* TheMostDangerousGame: A tradition in Uberwald, where a peasant could legitimately win by outrunning the werewolf chasing him, gaining a substantial payoff...at least until Wolfgang took it over. He doesn't play fair.
** The name is less fitting here since in {{Uberwald}}, you can hardly call humans the most dangerous things you could hunt, and werewolves are barely at any risk at all in so doing.

* FridgeBrilliance: Vimes is bemused by the fact that the Low King is "crowned" by sitting on top of a sacred relic. But dwarfs regard things that are "low" to be better than things that are "high", so putting the Scone on his head would be treating it ''less respectfully'' than perching on top of it.

Vimes, as Duke of Ankh, is sent by the Patrician to observe the crowning of the new Low King of the Dwarfs, Rhys Rhysson, in {{Uberwald}}. Carrot is left in charge of the Watch, but resigns to pursue Angua after she flees the city when an old friend - a wolf called Gavin - brings her news that her family is involved in something malicious back in the old coutry. Vimes finds that Vetinari gave him a stealth bodyguard: his nerdy, awkward clerk adjutant Inigo Skimmer is also a trained Assassin (the capital A is important). After some incidents on the journey, they arrive in the Uberwaldean city of Bonk and Vimes is introduced to the local figures -- the vampire Lady Margolotta, Rhys himself, and Angua's estranged werewolf aristocrat relatives, most particularly her brother Wolfgang.