History Literature / TheFalconsMalteser

* MeeleATrois: The struggle for the diamonds is pretty much a free-for-all. Among the crooks, the two main players are [[IronicName The Fat Man]] and [[DarkMistress Beatrice von Falkenberg]]. [[BewareTheSillyOnes Gott and Himmel]] play a much more direct and openly sociopathic threat to Nick throughout the book [[spoiler: but are eventually revealed to be working for Beatrice. However, there seemed to be dissent even among those ranks, as Beatrice takes out Gott (Himmel having just been killed by The Fat Man) in the climax.]] Due to the book being told entirely from Nick's perspective, and perhaps the fact that the criminals believe the Diamonds to be softer targets than, say, other master criminals, we don't get to see a lot of the [[EvilVsEvil crooks clashing with each other]], with the notable exceptions of the climax, and the fact that Gott and Himmel take out The Fat Man's chauffeur when they run into him in the Diamonds' flat. Even among the characters that can most easily pass as the good guys, there's disharmony, with the police openly using the Diamonds as bait to draw out the criminals, and Nick in return keeping certain details of what they know from them, and imploring Tim to do the same. [[spoiler: The story also ends with Lauren Bacardi, Nick's sidekick through most of the second half, having absconded with the diamonds by the time he gets to them, having withhold how much she knew about their location from him.]]

* PoliticalOvercorrectness: Nick points out that the phrase "dwarf" to describe people under 4'11 is offensive and describes Johnny Naples as "vertically-challenged".

* PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad: Nick points out that the phrase "dwarf" to describe people under 4'11 is offensive and describes Johnny Naples as "vertically-challenged".

* MeeleATrois: The struggle for the diamonds is pretty much a free-for-all. Among the crooks, the two main players are [[IronicName The Fat Man]] and [[DarkMistress Beatrice von Falkenberg]]. [[BewareTheSillyOnes Gott]] [[ThoseTwoBadGuys and Himmel]] play a much more direct and openly sociopathic threat to Nick throughout the book [[spoiler: but are eventually revealed to be working for Beatrice. However, there seemed to be dissent even among those ranks, as Beatrice takes out Gott (Himmel having just been killed by The Fat Man) in the climax.]] Due to the book being told entirely from Nick's perspective, and perhaps the fact that the criminals believe the Diamonds to be softer targets than, say, other master criminals, we don't get to see a lot of the [[EvilVsEvil crooks clashing with each other]], with the notable exceptions of the climax, and the fact that Gott and Himmel take out The Fat Man's chauffeur when they run into him in the Diamonds' flat. Even among the characters that can most easily pass as the good guys, there's disharmony, with the police openly using the Diamonds as bait to draw out the criminals, and Nick in return keeping certain details of what they know from them, and imploring Tim to do the same. [[spoiler: The story also ends with Lauren Bacardi, Nick's sidekick through most of the second half, having absconded with the diamonds by the time he gets to them, having withhold how much she knew about their location from him.]]

* AdaptationDistillation: In what is otherwise a remarkably faithful adaptation of the original novel (Horowitz wrote the screenplay himself), Nick's escape from Gott and Himmell's flat is simplified, and his second visit to the Hotel Splendide is omitted entirely. The character of The Professor is also AdaptedOut.

* AdaptationDistillation: In what is otherwise a remarkably faithful adaptation of the original novel (Horowitz wrote the screenplay himself), Nick's escape from Gott and Himmell's flat is simplified, and his second visit to the Hotel Splendide is omitted entirely.

* INevertoldyoumyname: Beatrice von Falkenberg phones up the brothers' flat, and asks to speak to "Tim Diamond". When Nick later meets her, she refers to Tim as "Herbert". Nick notices this, and wonders how she knew Tim's real name, since when she originally rang, she only mentioned "Tim", and at no point when Nick spoke to her did he reveal Tim's real name. It subsequently turns out that [[spoiler: she was disguising herself as Betty Charlady, who worked as a cleaner for the brothers, and therefore knew Tim's real name]]

* TheEighties: Although, it's kinda hard to tell that it is the '80s because they're aren't any '80s cliches. Then it really weirds you out in the next novel that came out in 1991 because nothing changes. (This is not helped by the fact that it seems some of the text was revised in 1995 to bring it up to date.)

** A charlady at the nightclub called Betty Charlady. [[spoiler: Though this is actually the pseudonym of The Falcon's widow [[MasterActor Beatrice Von Falkenberg]].]]

* GratuituousGerman: Gangsters Gott and Himmel occasionally use German phrases and have private conversations in German.

* TheEighties: Although, it's kinda hard to tell that it is the '80s because they're aren't any '80s cliches. Then it really weirds you out in the next novel that came out in 1991 because nothing changes. (This is not helped by the fact that it seems some of the text was revised in 1995 to bring it up to date.)
* GratituousGerman: Gangsters Gott and Himmel occasionally use German phrases and have private conversations in German.

** The title being based off ''Film/TheMalteseFalcon''.

''The Falcon's Malteser'' is a 1986 British children's detective/comedy novel by Creator/AnthonyHorowitz which is the first story of the ''Literature/DiamondBrothers'' series. The title is a spoof on the movie ''Film/TheMalteseFalcon'' and references the texts through many plot allusions.

** A charlady at the nightclub called Betty Charlady.

It's the first case for hopeless detective Tim Diamond (real name Herbert Simple), who shares an apartment in London with his younger brother Nick. A South American gangster named Johnny Naples arrives to drop off a package with no explanation of what's inside, paying Tim £200 as a thank you and leaving them with a set of directions. The boys open the parcel to find a packet of Maltesers chocolates and become suspicious, visiting the given location to find the gangster dead in his apartment. With no leads, no one to go to, and being framed for murder, the brothers encounter Tim's former boss, Police Chief Snape and his aggressive partner Boyle, a lounge singer named Lauren Bacardi and two German gangsters named Gott and Himmel.

* TheEighties: Although, it's kinda hard to tell that it is the '80s because they're aren't any '80s cliches. Then it really weirds you out in the next novel that came out in 1991 because nothing changes.

* AdaptationDistillation: In what is otherwise a remarkably faithful adaptation of the original novel (Horowitz wrote the screenplay himself), Nick's escape from Gott and Himmell's flat is hugely simplified, and his second visit to the Hotel Splendide is omitted entirely.

''Malteser'' was later adapted into a TV movie named ''Just Ask For Diamond'' and is said to be made into a stage play sometime in the 2010s. Was later followed by ''Literature/PublicEnemyNumberTwo'' in 1991.

'''''The Falcon's Malteser''''' is a 1986 British children's detective/comedy novel by Creator/AnthonyHorowitz which is the first story of the ''Literature/DiamondBrothers'' series. The title is a spoof on the movie ''Film/TheMalteseFalcon'' and references the texts through many plot allusions.

* AluminiumChristmasTrees: This being a novel written in the late 1980s, there are several of these.
** St Pancras train station changed location in the 2000s and was renamed St Pancras International.
** Tim was excited to receive £200. Today that wouldn't be much of a big deal, although Tim was probably happy that he got some money.

* BetterManhandleTheMurderWeapon: Tim picks up the gun at the scene of a murder twice. The first time was with Naples and Tim and Nick has this conversation after their arrest:

* GratitiousGerman: Gangsters Gott and Himmel occasionally use German phrases and have private conversations in German.

** Lauren Bacardi, based on Creator/LaurenBacall, which links with Nick visiting the Casablanca Club, a movie that her first husband Humphrey Bogart was in.

** Nick visiting the ''Film/{{Casablanca}}'' Club.

--->'''Tim''': Do you think... you don't think the police think I had anything to do with what happened to the dwarf, do you?\\
'''Nick''': No. [[DeadPanSnarker You went up to see him. There was a gunshot. You were found holding a smoking gun. The dwarf was dead. I'm sure the police won't think you're involved.]]

* GratitousGerman: Gangsters Gott and Himmel occasionally use German phrases and have private conversations in German.

--->'''Tim''': Do you think... you don't think the police think I had anything to do with what happened to the dwarf, do you?

* PoliticalCorerctnessGoneMad: Nick points out that the phrase "dwarf" to describe people under 4'11 is offensive and describes Johnny Naples as "vertically-challenged".

* RapidCop: Boyle.
* ShouOut:

** The brothers, in a way.

'''''The Falcon's Malteser''''' is a 1986 British children's detective/comedy novel by Creator/AnthonyHorowitz which is the first story of the Literature/DiamondBrothers series. The title is a spoof on the movie ''Film/TheMalteseFalcon'' and references the texts through many plot allusions.

It's the first case for hopeless detective Tim Diamond (real name Herbert Simple), who shares an apartment in London with his younger brother Nick. A South American gangster named Johnny Naples arrives to drop off a package with no explanation of what's inside, paying Tim £200 as a thankyou and leaving them with a set of directions. The boys open the parcel to find a packet of Maltesers chocolates and become suspicious, visiting the given location to find the gangster dead in his apartment.

* BaitAndSwitchGunshot