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* GassyGastronomy:
** A smartass ship captain is asked by a passenger what wind is blowing, and he replies, "bean soup and onions."
** A [[NationalStereotypes dumb Cumean]] sailor hears that onions and garlic give you wind, so when he get stuck in calm waters, he ties a sack of them to his ship's stern.
** A smartass ship captain is asked by a passenger what wind is blowing, and he replies, "bean soup and onions."
** A [[NationalStereotypes dumb Cumean]] sailor hears that onions and garlic give you wind, so when he get stuck in calm waters, he ties a sack of them to his ship's stern.
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Changed line(s) 3,4 (click to see context) from:
It's a collection of 265 jokes divided into categories for stock characters like the DitzyGenius, TheScrooge, the MockMillionaire, [[NationalStereotypes various cities full of idiots]], the DeadpanSnarker, TheCynic, the [[NoSocialSkills socially awkward]], the CowardlyLion, TheAlcoholic , [[HumansAreSmelly the malodorous]], and the [[AwfulWeddedLife wife-hating husband]].
to:
It's a collection of 265 jokes divided into categories for stock characters like the DitzyGenius, TheScrooge, the MockMillionaire, [[NationalStereotypes various cities full of idiots]], the DeadpanSnarker, TheCynic, the [[NoSocialSkills socially awkward]], the CowardlyLion, TheAlcoholic , [[HumansAreSmelly the malodorous]], ThePigPen, and the [[AwfulWeddedLife wife-hating husband]].
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* DreamingOfThingsToCome: A dumb scholar is approached a man who swears that he'd met the scholar before in a dream. The scholar then apologizes for not remembering his name from the last time they met.
to:
* DreamingOfThingsToCome: A dumb scholar is approached a man who swears that he'd met the scholar before in a dream. The scholar then apologizes for not remembering his name from the last time they met.encounter.
Changed line(s) 46 (click to see context) from:
* LostInTranslation: Several of the jokes rely on wordplay that only works in ancient Greek, or are only [[ItMakesSenseInContext funny for people who know a lot about Roman culture]].
to:
* LostInTranslation: Several of the jokes rely on wordplay that only works in ancient Greek, or are only [[ItMakesSenseInContext funny for people who know a lot about Greek and Roman culture]].
Changed line(s) 48 (click to see context) from:
** Joke #4 requires the knowledge that in Latin, saying that a horse has "thrown" means that it's lost its baby teeth and its now an adult.
to:
** Joke #4 requires the knowledge that in Latin, ancient Greek, saying that a horse has "thrown" means that it's lost its baby teeth and its now an adult.
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* MistakenForRelated: A dumb scholar asks an old eunuch if the young woman he's with is his daughter, to which he replies no, for obvious reasons. The scholar, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint completely missing what that implies]], then asks if she's the eunuch's granddaughter.
to:
* MistakenForRelated: A dumb scholar asks an old eunuch if the young woman he's with is his daughter, to which he replies no, for obvious reasons. The scholar, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint completely missing ignoring what that implies]], then asks if she's the eunuch's granddaughter.
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* BlatantLies:
** A dumb scholar is SneakingSnacks at night, when his dad lights the lamp and catches him in the act. The scholar closes his eyes and pretends to be asleep, while still standing up and reaching for the food.
** Another dumb scholar is playing pretend as a gladiator instead of studying when his father comes home. He rushes to sit down and grab a scroll... while still wearing a helmet and greaves.
* BlindIdiotTranslation: Several English-language editions suffer from this, relying on very literal translations that make some jokes' punchlines incomprehensible.
** A dumb scholar is SneakingSnacks at night, when his dad lights the lamp and catches him in the act. The scholar closes his eyes and pretends to be asleep, while still standing up and reaching for the food.
** Another dumb scholar is playing pretend as a gladiator instead of studying when his father comes home. He rushes to sit down and grab a scroll... while still wearing a helmet and greaves.
* BlindIdiotTranslation: Several English-language editions suffer from this, relying on very literal translations that make some jokes' punchlines incomprehensible.
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* DreamingOfThingsToCome: A dumb scholar is approached a man who swears that he previously met him in a dream. The scholar then apologizes for not remembering him from that.
to:
* DreamingOfThingsToCome: A dumb scholar is approached a man who swears that he previously he'd met him the scholar before in a dream. The scholar then apologizes for not remembering him his name from that.the last time they met.
Deleted line(s) 34 (click to see context) :
* IncidentalMultilingualWordplay: A surprising amount of wordplay and euphemisms in ancient Greek have equivalents in modern English, including "rest in peace" as an inscription on tombstones, "NoLongerWithUs" as a euphemism for death, and "breaking wind" meaning farting.
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* SerialNumbersFiledOff: A sizable amount of the jokes are recycled for different subjects (e.g., Cumaeans and Abderans), or are just variations on the same punchline.
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* IncidentalMultilingualWordplay: A surprising amount of wordplay and euphemisms in ancient Greek have equivalents in modern English, including "rest in peace" as an inscription on tombstones, "NoLongerWithUs" as a euphemism for death, and "breaking wind" meaning farting.
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* AskAStupidQuestion: Many of the jokes involving ''dyslokoi'', or {{Deadpan Snarker}}s, involve giving sarcastic responses to stupid questions.
* BlackComedyAnimalCruelty:
** A dumb scholar tries to train his donkey to work without eating. When the donkey drops dead, he bemoans, "Just as he was getting the hang of it!"
** A dumb rancher wants to give his cattle a holiday, so he tells his servants not to drive them to pasture for three days.
** A dumb scholar tries to train his donkey to work without eating. When the donkey drops dead, he bemoans, "Just as he was getting the hang of it!"
** A dumb rancher wants to give his cattle a holiday, so he tells his servants not to drive them to pasture for three days.
** Another doctor thinks that semitertian malaria is half as bad as tertian malaria (it's actually the opposite). When he makes a patient's fever go from tertian to semitertian, he demands half his fee for a successful cure.
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* ComicallyMissingThePoint: Nearly every joke about dumb scholars, Abderans, Sidonians, and Cumaeans relies on this.
* ComplimentBackfire: A friend congratulates a dumb scholar on having a child, and the scholar replies "[[{{Cuckold}} I hope your friends do the same to you]]."
* DidntThinkThisThrough: A dumb scholar says that in order to make his mules go faster, he should lighten the load and unhitch them from the carriage he's riding in.
* ComplimentBackfire: A friend congratulates a dumb scholar on having a child, and the scholar replies "[[{{Cuckold}} I hope your friends do the same to you]]."
* DidntThinkThisThrough: A dumb scholar says that in order to make his mules go faster, he should lighten the load and unhitch them from the carriage he's riding in.
to:
* ComicallyMissingThePoint: Nearly every joke about dumb scholars, Abderans, Sidonians, and Cumaeans relies on this.
them failing to understand an incredibly common-sense point.
* ComplimentBackfire: A friend congratulates a dumb scholar on having a child, and the scholar replies "[[{{Cuckold}}I hope your All thanks to friends do the same to you]]."
* DidntThinkThisThrough: A dumb scholar says that in order to make his mules go faster, he should lighten the load and unhitch them from the carriage he's riding in."
* ComplimentBackfire: A friend congratulates a dumb scholar on having a child, and the scholar replies "[[{{Cuckold}}
* DidntThinkThisThrough: A dumb scholar says that in order to make his mules go faster, he should lighten the load and unhitch them from the carriage he's riding in.
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* DreamingOfThingsToCome: A dumb scholar is appraoched a man who swears that he previously met him in a dream. The scholar then apologizes for not remembering him from that.
* EnfantTerrible: A dumb scholar hears a dead parent's classmates talk about how much pain and grief this has caused them, and assumes he was one of these.
* EnfantTerrible: A dumb scholar hears a dead parent's classmates talk about how much pain and grief this has caused them, and assumes he was one of these.
to:
* DreamingOfThingsToCome: A dumb scholar is appraoched approached a man who swears that he previously met him in a dream. The scholar then apologizes for not remembering him from that.
* EnfantTerrible: A dumb scholar hears a deadparent's classmates classmate's parents talk about how much pain and grief this has caused them, and assumes they're in, then remarks that he was one must've been a hellion of these.a child to them.
* EnfantTerrible: A dumb scholar hears a dead
* IBangedYourMom: An example that CrossesTheLineTwice. A dumb scholar is caught by his father having sex with his own grandmother. He justifies it to his father by saying, "You've slept with ''my'' mother for years and I never said anything, and you get mad because I slept with ''your'' mother one time?"
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* InsaneTrollLogic: A dumb scholar who just finished rhetoric school wishes his father gets accused of a capital crime, so he can wow everyone by delivering an amazing defense speech.
to:
* InsaneTrollLogic: InsaneTrollLogic:
** A dumb scholar who just finished rhetoric school wishes his father gets accused of a capital crime, so he can wow everyone by delivering an amazing defensespeech.speech.
** Another dumb scholar riding in a mule-drawn carriage blames the carriage for tiring out the mules and slowing him down.
** A dumb scholar who just finished rhetoric school wishes his father gets accused of a capital crime, so he can wow everyone by delivering an amazing defense
** Another dumb scholar riding in a mule-drawn carriage blames the carriage for tiring out the mules and slowing him down.
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** A young and dumb scholar is told his beard is coming in, so he waits by the door for it.
to:
** A young and dumb scholar is told his beard is coming in, so he waits by the front door for it.
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* LostInTranslation: Several of the jokes rely on wordplay that only works in ancient Greek or Latin, or are only [[ItMakesSenseInContext funny for people who know a lot about Roman culture]].
to:
* LostInTranslation: Several of the jokes rely on wordplay that only works in ancient Greek or Latin, Greek, or are only [[ItMakesSenseInContext funny for people who know a lot about Roman culture]].
** Joke #53 necessitates knowing not only that "mother" and "children" were Greek terms for the roots and shoots of a lettuce plant, but also the mythology surrounding Kronos and ''Theatre/OedipusTheKing''.
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* NationalStereotypes: Abdera (in Thrace, now northern Greece), Sidon (in Lebanon), and Cumae (in southern Italy) are stereotyped as cities where all the inhabitants are TooDumbToLive.
to:
* NationalStereotypes: Abdera (in Thrace, now northern Greece), Sidon (in Lebanon), Inhabitants of the Thracian city of Abdera, the Phoenician city of Sidon, and the Italian city of Cumae (in southern Italy) are stereotyped as cities where all the inhabitants are being TooDumbToLive.
Changed line(s) 43,44 (click to see context) from:
** One tells a man that his parents are both well, only for him to say his father's dead. The fortuneteller thinks fast and replies that [[MamasBabyPapasMaybe he must not know the truth then]].
** Another predicts that an unborn child will [[TheChosenOne be a successful orator and general]], but the baby doesn't survive. The mother complains, so the fortuneteller [[MovingTheGoalposts moves the goalposts]] and says that's what he ''would'' be if he had lived.
** Another predicts that an unborn child will [[TheChosenOne be a successful orator and general]], but the baby doesn't survive. The mother complains, so the fortuneteller [[MovingTheGoalposts moves the goalposts]] and says that's what he ''would'' be if he had lived.
to:
** One tells a man that his parents are both well, only for him to say his father's dead. The fortuneteller thinks fast and replies that [[MamasBabyPapasMaybe he must not know the truth then]].
his true father]].
** Another predicts that an unborn child will [[TheChosenOne be a successful orator and general]], but the baby doesn't survive. The mother complains, so the fortuneteller [[MovingTheGoalposts moves the goalposts]] and says that's what he ''would''be have been if he had lived.
** Another predicts that an unborn child will [[TheChosenOne be a successful orator and general]], but the baby doesn't survive. The mother complains, so the fortuneteller [[MovingTheGoalposts moves the goalposts]] and says that's what he ''would''
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** A soldier who gets a chamber pot dumped on him lambasts his opponents for fighting dirty.
** A newborn son is to be given his father's name, and the father will have to [[TheNameless get by without one for the time being]].
** A newborn son is to be given his father's name, and the father will have to [[TheNameless get by without one for the time being]].
to:
** A soldier who gets a chamber pot dumped on him lambasts his opponents for fighting dirty.
not giving him a clean fight.
** A newborn son is tobe given take his father's name, and the father will have to [[TheNameless get by without one for the time being]].
** A newborn son is to
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* SuspectIsHatless: A Cumaean trying to identify his son's body at an enbalmer's says "He had a cough."
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: A lazy scholar gets a letter from a friend asking him to buy some books for when he arrives, but he dawdles and never gets around for it. When the friend arrives, the scholar says he never received a letter about buying books.
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: A lazy scholar gets a letter from a friend asking him to buy some books for when he arrives, but he dawdles and never gets around for it. When the friend arrives, the scholar says he never received a letter about buying books.
to:
* SuspectIsHatless: A Cumaean trying to identify his son's body at an enbalmer's says embalmer's says, "He had a cough."
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: A lazy scholar gets a letter from a friend asking him to buy some books for when he arrives, but he dawdles and never gets around for it. When the friend arrives, the scholarsays he apologizes for never received a receiving his letter about buying asking for books.
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: A lazy scholar gets a letter from a friend asking him to buy some books for when he arrives, but he dawdles and never gets around for it. When the friend arrives, the scholar
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** Joke #1, where a dumb scholar goes to a silversmith and orders a lantern "big enough for eight people," has long perplexed scholars, with many assuming that the punchline was just that he gave a [[MathematiciansAnswer completely useless metric]]. However, [[https://www.jstor.org/stable/10.1086/671419 one scholarly paper]] argues that it's a pun, and that "lantern" refers to a type of fish (albeit different from a modern [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lanternfish lanternfish]]). Therefore, the punchline is that he's describing a lantern like it's a lanternfish.
** Joke #4 requires the knowledge that in Latin, saying that a horse has "thrown" means that it's lost its baby teeth and its now an adult.
** Joke #4 requires the knowledge that in Latin, saying that a horse has "thrown" means that it's lost its baby teeth and its now an adult.
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* IsThatCuteKidYours: A dumb scholar asks an old eunuch if the young woman he's with is his daughter, to which he replies no, for obvious reasons. The scholar then asks if she's the eunuch's granddaughter.
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* MistakenForRelated: A dumb scholar asks an old eunuch if the young woman he's with is his daughter, to which he replies no, for obvious reasons. The scholar, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint completely missing what that implies]], then asks if she's the eunuch's granddaughter.
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* IResembleThatRemark: A dumb scholar denies accusations for judging people based on how expensive their clothes are by saying people shouldn't trust the claims of someone who wears a cheap cloak.
to:
* IResembleThatRemark: A dumb scholar denies accusations for is accused by his father of judging people based on how expensive the value of their clothes are by saying people shouldn't clothes. The son vehemently denies this, and upon hearing who told his father about this, asks why he would trust the claims word of someone who wears a cheap cloak.man whose cloak is worth less than 50 drachmas.
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Changed line(s) 53 (click to see context) from:
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: A lazy scholar gets a letter from a friend asking him to buy some books for when he arrives, but he dawdles and never gets around for it. When the friend arrives, the scholar tells his friend he never got his letter.
to:
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: A lazy scholar gets a letter from a friend asking him to buy some books for when he arrives, but he dawdles and never gets around for it. When the friend arrives, the scholar tells his friend says he never got his letter.received a letter about buying books.
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Deleted line(s) 15 (click to see context) :
* BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor: A dumb scholar who just finished rhetoric school wishes his father gets accused of a capital crime, so he can wow everyone by delivering an amazing defense speech.
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* {{Hypocrite}}: A dumb scholar impregnates his slave mistress, and his father advises killing the resulting baby. The scholar then tells his father to [[OffingTheOffspring kill his own kids first]] before telling others to do so.
to:
* {{Hypocrite}}: HypocriticalHumor: A dumb scholar impregnates his slave mistress, and his father advises killing the resulting baby. The scholar then tells his father to [[OffingTheOffspring kill his own kids first]] before telling others to do so.so.
* IResembleThatRemark: A dumb scholar denies accusations for judging people based on how expensive their clothes are by saying people shouldn't trust the claims of someone who wears a cheap cloak.
* IResembleThatRemark: A dumb scholar denies accusations for judging people based on how expensive their clothes are by saying people shouldn't trust the claims of someone who wears a cheap cloak.
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* IResembleThatRemark: A dumb scholar denies accusations for judging people based on how expensive their clothes are by saying people shouldn't trust the claims of someone who wears a cheap cloak.
to:
* IResembleThatRemark: InsaneTrollLogic: A dumb scholar denies accusations for judging people based on how expensive their clothes are by saying people shouldn't trust the claims of someone who wears just finished rhetoric school wishes his father gets accused of a cheap cloak.capital crime, so he can wow everyone by delivering an amazing defense speech.
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* AbsurdlyLongWait: A dumb scholar reassures an athlete who lost at the Secular Games that he'll have better luck next time--unaware that the games were to honor the 1,000th anniversary of Rome's founding.
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* AssuranceBackfire: A dumb scholar reassures an athlete who lost at the Secular Games that he'll have better luck next time--unaware that the games were to honor the 1,000th anniversary of Rome's founding.
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* DreamingOfThingsToCome: Joke #5 is about a dumb scholar who meets someone and tells him they had a dream about meeting him.
to:
* DreamingOfThingsToCome: Joke #5 is about a A dumb scholar is appraoched a man who meets someone and tells swears that he previously met him they had in a dream about meeting him.dream. The scholar then apologizes for not remembering him from that.
Changed line(s) 37 (click to see context) from:
* MakeAnExampleOfThem: The Abderans try to do this by beating a donkey for breaking an olive oil jar and making every other donkey in the city watch.
to:
* MakeAnExampleOfThem: The Abderans try to do this by beating to a donkey for breaking that broke an olive oil jar by beating it and making every other donkey in the city watch.
Changed line(s) 53 (click to see context) from:
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: A lazy scholar gets a letter from a friend asking him to buy some books, but never gets around to it. When the friend arrives, the scholar replies that he never got the letter... while also knowing what it was asking.
to:
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: A lazy scholar gets a letter from a friend asking him to buy some books, books for when he arrives, but he dawdles and never gets around to for it. When the friend arrives, the scholar replies that tells his friend he never got the letter... while also knowing what it was asking.his letter.
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* GrandfatherParadox: Unwittingly discussed by one dumb scholar; he wishes his father had never been born so that he
could have already inherited his grandfather's estate.
could have already inherited his grandfather's estate.
to:
* GrandfatherParadox: Unwittingly discussed by one dumb scholar; he wishes his father had never been born so that he
he could have already inherited his grandfather's estate.
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* AbsurdlyLongWait: A dumb scholar reassures an athlete who lost at the Secular Games that he'll have better luck next time--unaware that the games were to honor the 1,000th anniversary of Rome's founding.
* AmusingInjuries: Hernias, especially [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inguinal_hernia inguinal hernias]] (where there's a hole in the membrane separating the guts from the groin) are PlayedForLaughs, usually involving the trademark swollen testicles [[GroinAttack getting stepped on]].
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* GrandfatherParadox: Unwittingly discussed by one dumb scholar; he wishes his father had never been born so that he could have already inherited his grandfather's estate.
to:
* GrandfatherParadox: Unwittingly discussed by one dumb scholar; he wishes his father had never been born so that he he
could have already inherited his grandfather's estate.
could have already inherited his grandfather's estate.
* IsThatCuteKidYours: A dumb scholar asks an old eunuch if the young woman he's with is his daughter, to which he replies no, for obvious reasons. The scholar then asks if she's the eunuch's granddaughter.
* LiteralMinded:
** A young and dumb scholar is told his beard is coming in, so he waits by the door for it.
** An Abderan brings onions and turnips with him on a sea voyage because he heard [[{{Gasshole}} they give you wind]].
* LiteralMinded:
** A young and dumb scholar is told his beard is coming in, so he waits by the door for it.
** An Abderan brings onions and turnips with him on a sea voyage because he heard [[{{Gasshole}} they give you wind]].
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** A young and dumb scholar is told his beard is coming in, so he waits by the door for it.
Deleted line(s) 42 (click to see context) :
** An Abderan brings onions and turnips with him on a sea voyage because he heard [[{{Gasshole}} they give you wind]].
Deleted line(s) 46 (click to see context) :
* ReunionVow: A dumb scholar reassures an athlete who lost at the Secular Games that he'll have better luck next time -- unaware that the games were to honor the 1,000th anniversary of Rome's founding.
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Changed line(s) 3,6 (click to see context) from:
It's a collection of 265 jokes divided into categories for [[DitzyGenius dumb scholars]], [[TheScrooge cheapskates]], [[MockMillionaire fake noblemen]], [[NationalStereotypes various cities full of idiots]], [[DeadpanSnarker wisecrackers]], [[TheCynic complainers]], [[NoSocialSkills awkward people]], [[CowardlyLion cowards]], [[TheAlcoholic alcoholics]], [[HumansAreSmelly people who smell bad]], [[AwfulWeddedLife wife-hating husbands]],
A [[https://archive.org/details/jestshieroclesa00ohiogoog/ full English translation]] (albeit one roughly a century old) is available on archive.org, for those who wish to read the full text.
A [[https://archive.org/details/jestshieroclesa00ohiogoog/ full English translation]] (albeit one roughly a century old) is available on archive.org, for those who wish to read the full text.
to:
It's a collection of 265 jokes divided into categories for [[DitzyGenius dumb scholars]], [[TheScrooge cheapskates]], [[MockMillionaire fake noblemen]], stock characters like the DitzyGenius, TheScrooge, the MockMillionaire, [[NationalStereotypes various cities full of idiots]], [[DeadpanSnarker wisecrackers]], [[TheCynic complainers]], the DeadpanSnarker, TheCynic, the [[NoSocialSkills awkward people]], [[CowardlyLion cowards]], [[TheAlcoholic alcoholics]], socially awkward]], the CowardlyLion, TheAlcoholic , [[HumansAreSmelly people who smell bad]], the malodorous]], and the [[AwfulWeddedLife wife-hating husbands]],
Ahusband]].
An [[https://archive.org/details/jestshieroclesa00ohiogoog/full English translation]] (albeit one roughly a century old) is available on archive.org, for those who wish to read the full text.
A
An [[https://archive.org/details/jestshieroclesa00ohiogoog/
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* BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor: A dumb scholar who just finished rhetoric school wishes his father gets accused of a capital crime so he deliver an amazing defense.
* ComicallyIneptHealing: One doctor's advice for a patient who feels dizzy for half an hour after he wakes up? Wake up half an hour later.
* ComicallyIneptHealing: One doctor's advice for a patient who feels dizzy for half an hour after he wakes up? Wake up half an hour later.
to:
* BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor: A dumb scholar who just finished rhetoric school wishes his father gets accused of a capital crime crime, so he deliver can wow everyone by delivering an amazing defense.
defense speech.
*ComicallyIneptHealing: ComicallyIneptHealing:
** One doctor's advice for a patient who feels dizzy for half an hour afterhe wakes waking up? Wake up Sleep half an hour later.longer.
** Another gives a cure to an ill child and requests payment up front. When told he'll be paid in full tomorrow, the doctor replies that he doesn't want to wait overnight and [[ImmediateSelfContradiction risk losing his fee if the child dies]].
*
** One doctor's advice for a patient who feels dizzy for half an hour after
** Another gives a cure to an ill child and requests payment up front. When told he'll be paid in full tomorrow, the doctor replies that he doesn't want to wait overnight and [[ImmediateSelfContradiction risk losing his fee if the child dies]].
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* PhonyPsychic: One tells a man that his parents are both well, only for him to say his father's dead. The fortuneteller thinks fast and replies that [[MamasBabyPapasMaybe he must not know the truth then]].
to:
* PhonyPsychic: PhonyPsychic:
** One tells a man that his parents are both well, only for him to say his father's dead. The fortuneteller thinks fast and replies that [[MamasBabyPapasMaybe he must not know the truththen]].then]].
** Another predicts that an unborn child will [[TheChosenOne be a successful orator and general]], but the baby doesn't survive. The mother complains, so the fortuneteller [[MovingTheGoalposts moves the goalposts]] and says that's what he ''would'' be if he had lived.
** One tells a man that his parents are both well, only for him to say his father's dead. The fortuneteller thinks fast and replies that [[MamasBabyPapasMaybe he must not know the truth
** Another predicts that an unborn child will [[TheChosenOne be a successful orator and general]], but the baby doesn't survive. The mother complains, so the fortuneteller [[MovingTheGoalposts moves the goalposts]] and says that's what he ''would'' be if he had lived.
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The ''Philogelos'' (Φιλόγελως, or "Laughter-lover") is a Greek-language book, attributed to two men named Hierocles and Philagrus, that is a collection of 265 jokes from the late UsefulNotes/RomanEmpire. Written circa the 4th century CE, it's the oldest surviving joke book that we know of today.[[note]]There are records of older joke books from the 4th and 3rd centuries BCE, but no text from them survives.[[/note]]
It's a collection of 265 jokes divided into categories for [[DitzyGenius dumb scholars]], [[TheScrooge cheapskates]], [[MockMillionaire fake noblemen]], [[NationalStereotypes various cities full of idiots]], [[DeadpanSnarker wisecrackers]], [[TheCynic complainers]], [[NoSocialSkills awkward people]], [[CowardlyLion cowards]], [[TheAlcoholic alcoholics]], [[HumansAreSmelly people who smell bad]], [[AwfulWeddedLife wife-hating husbands]],
A [[https://archive.org/details/jestshieroclesa00ohiogoog/ full English translation]] (albeit one roughly a century old) is available on archive.org, for those who wish to read the full text.
----
!!Enough tropes for eight people:
* AcidRefluxNightmare: A character has dreams about climbing a fig tree after eating too many figs, as well as [[TheFoodPoisoningIncident soiling the bed]].
* AmbiguousSyntax: A Cumaean at a funeral is asked by a passerby who died, and he replies "The one lying on the bier over there."
* BackAlleyDoctor: It was common for doctors in the ancient Mediterranean to guarantee full recovery or your money back, so many jokes about them revolve around negotiating fees with stingy patients.
* BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor: A dumb scholar who just finished rhetoric school wishes his father gets accused of a capital crime so he deliver an amazing defense.
* ComicallyIneptHealing: One doctor's advice for a patient who feels dizzy for half an hour after he wakes up? Wake up half an hour later.
* ComicallyMissingThePoint: Nearly every joke about dumb scholars, Abderans, Sidonians, and Cumaeans relies on this.
* ComplimentBackfire: A friend congratulates a dumb scholar on having a child, and the scholar replies "[[{{Cuckold}} I hope your friends do the same to you]]."
* DidntThinkThisThrough: A dumb scholar says that in order to make his mules go faster, he should lighten the load and unhitch them from the carriage he's riding in.
* DitzyGenius: The ''skholastikòs'' (the root for the modern word "scholastic") is a stock character in many of the jokes who is ostensibly well-educated and literate, but woefully lacking in common sense. It's been varyingly translated as "pedant," "intellectual," or "egghead."
* DoYouWantToHaggle: A dumb scholar haggling over a coffin for his wife's funeral convinces the salesman to throw in a tiny one, [[BlackComedy just in case his child dies soon too]].
* DreamingOfThingsToCome: Joke #5 is about a dumb scholar who meets someone and tells him they had a dream about meeting him.
* EnfantTerrible: A dumb scholar hears a dead parent's classmates talk about how much pain and grief this has caused them, and assumes he was one of these.
* GrandfatherParadox: Unwittingly discussed by one dumb scholar; he wishes his father had never been born so that he could have already inherited his grandfather's estate.
* {{Hypocrite}}: A dumb scholar impregnates his slave mistress, and his father advises killing the resulting baby. The scholar then tells his father to [[OffingTheOffspring kill his own kids first]] before telling others to do so.
* IdioticPartnerConfession: A MockMillionaire publicly asks his servant how his flock of sheep are doing, but the servant inadvertently reveals that he only owns two.
* IResembleThatRemark: A dumb scholar denies accusations for judging people based on how expensive their clothes are by saying people shouldn't trust the claims of someone who wears a cheap cloak.
* LongLived: A dumb scholar hears that crows live for 200 years, so he buys a newly hatched one to see whether it's true.
* LoopholeAbuse: Two men want to commit {{Patricide}}, but so they don't face divine punishment for it, they resolve to murder each other's father instead.
* LostInTranslation: Several of the jokes rely on wordplay that only works in ancient Greek or Latin, or are only [[ItMakesSenseInContext funny for people who know a lot about Roman culture]].
* MakeAnExampleOfThem: The Abderans try to do this by beating a donkey for breaking an olive oil jar and making every other donkey in the city watch.
* NationalStereotypes: Abdera (in Thrace, now northern Greece), Sidon (in Lebanon), and Cumae (in southern Italy) are stereotyped as cities where all the inhabitants are TooDumbToLive.
* NoLongerWithUs: Inverted in one joke. A dumb scholar hears that a friend is recently departed, so he says to "Send him my regards when he returns."
* PhonyPsychic: One tells a man that his parents are both well, only for him to say his father's dead. The fortuneteller thinks fast and replies that [[MamasBabyPapasMaybe he must not know the truth then]].
* {{Pun}}: Although some of the wordplay doesn't translate well, a lot of it still does:
** A young and dumb scholar is told his beard is coming in, so he waits by the door for it.
** A soldier who gets a chamber pot dumped on him lambasts his opponents for fighting dirty.
** A newborn son is to be given his father's name, and the father will have to [[TheNameless get by without one for the time being]].
** An Abderan brings onions and turnips with him on a sea voyage because he heard [[{{Gasshole}} they give you wind]].
** A DeadpanSnarker is asked by a chatty barber how he'd like his hair styled, and replies "Silently."
** A student asks his teacher what Priam's mother was called, and he doesn't remember, so he replies that she was called "ma'am."
** A man visiting a grave is asked by a passerby who rests in peace, and he replies [[AwfulWeddedLife himself, now that his wife is gone]].
* ReunionVow: A dumb scholar reassures an athlete who lost at the Secular Games that he'll have better luck next time -- unaware that the games were to honor the 1,000th anniversary of Rome's founding.
* RepeatAfterMe: A Cumaean is shouting for someone's name and is advised to shout louder, so he shouts "Louder!"
* ScyllaAndCharybdis: A man laments he's "between two evils" when he's between a woman with body odor and a woman with bad breath.
* SerialNumbersFiledOff: A sizable amount of the jokes are recycled for different subjects (e.g., Cumaeans and Abderans), or are just variations on the same punchline.
* SuspectIsHatless: A Cumaean trying to identify his son's body at an enbalmer's says "He had a cough."
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: A lazy scholar gets a letter from a friend asking him to buy some books, but never gets around to it. When the friend arrives, the scholar replies that he never got the letter... while also knowing what it was asking.
* WidowsWeeds:
** A dumb scholar who sees a black hen asks if her rooster died.
** An alcoholic who hears his wife died switches to drinking dark wine.
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It's a collection of 265 jokes divided into categories for [[DitzyGenius dumb scholars]], [[TheScrooge cheapskates]], [[MockMillionaire fake noblemen]], [[NationalStereotypes various cities full of idiots]], [[DeadpanSnarker wisecrackers]], [[TheCynic complainers]], [[NoSocialSkills awkward people]], [[CowardlyLion cowards]], [[TheAlcoholic alcoholics]], [[HumansAreSmelly people who smell bad]], [[AwfulWeddedLife wife-hating husbands]],
A [[https://archive.org/details/jestshieroclesa00ohiogoog/ full English translation]] (albeit one roughly a century old) is available on archive.org, for those who wish to read the full text.
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!!Enough tropes for eight people:
* AcidRefluxNightmare: A character has dreams about climbing a fig tree after eating too many figs, as well as [[TheFoodPoisoningIncident soiling the bed]].
* AmbiguousSyntax: A Cumaean at a funeral is asked by a passerby who died, and he replies "The one lying on the bier over there."
* BackAlleyDoctor: It was common for doctors in the ancient Mediterranean to guarantee full recovery or your money back, so many jokes about them revolve around negotiating fees with stingy patients.
* BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor: A dumb scholar who just finished rhetoric school wishes his father gets accused of a capital crime so he deliver an amazing defense.
* ComicallyIneptHealing: One doctor's advice for a patient who feels dizzy for half an hour after he wakes up? Wake up half an hour later.
* ComicallyMissingThePoint: Nearly every joke about dumb scholars, Abderans, Sidonians, and Cumaeans relies on this.
* ComplimentBackfire: A friend congratulates a dumb scholar on having a child, and the scholar replies "[[{{Cuckold}} I hope your friends do the same to you]]."
* DidntThinkThisThrough: A dumb scholar says that in order to make his mules go faster, he should lighten the load and unhitch them from the carriage he's riding in.
* DitzyGenius: The ''skholastikòs'' (the root for the modern word "scholastic") is a stock character in many of the jokes who is ostensibly well-educated and literate, but woefully lacking in common sense. It's been varyingly translated as "pedant," "intellectual," or "egghead."
* DoYouWantToHaggle: A dumb scholar haggling over a coffin for his wife's funeral convinces the salesman to throw in a tiny one, [[BlackComedy just in case his child dies soon too]].
* DreamingOfThingsToCome: Joke #5 is about a dumb scholar who meets someone and tells him they had a dream about meeting him.
* EnfantTerrible: A dumb scholar hears a dead parent's classmates talk about how much pain and grief this has caused them, and assumes he was one of these.
* GrandfatherParadox: Unwittingly discussed by one dumb scholar; he wishes his father had never been born so that he could have already inherited his grandfather's estate.
* {{Hypocrite}}: A dumb scholar impregnates his slave mistress, and his father advises killing the resulting baby. The scholar then tells his father to [[OffingTheOffspring kill his own kids first]] before telling others to do so.
* IdioticPartnerConfession: A MockMillionaire publicly asks his servant how his flock of sheep are doing, but the servant inadvertently reveals that he only owns two.
* IResembleThatRemark: A dumb scholar denies accusations for judging people based on how expensive their clothes are by saying people shouldn't trust the claims of someone who wears a cheap cloak.
* LongLived: A dumb scholar hears that crows live for 200 years, so he buys a newly hatched one to see whether it's true.
* LoopholeAbuse: Two men want to commit {{Patricide}}, but so they don't face divine punishment for it, they resolve to murder each other's father instead.
* LostInTranslation: Several of the jokes rely on wordplay that only works in ancient Greek or Latin, or are only [[ItMakesSenseInContext funny for people who know a lot about Roman culture]].
* MakeAnExampleOfThem: The Abderans try to do this by beating a donkey for breaking an olive oil jar and making every other donkey in the city watch.
* NationalStereotypes: Abdera (in Thrace, now northern Greece), Sidon (in Lebanon), and Cumae (in southern Italy) are stereotyped as cities where all the inhabitants are TooDumbToLive.
* NoLongerWithUs: Inverted in one joke. A dumb scholar hears that a friend is recently departed, so he says to "Send him my regards when he returns."
* PhonyPsychic: One tells a man that his parents are both well, only for him to say his father's dead. The fortuneteller thinks fast and replies that [[MamasBabyPapasMaybe he must not know the truth then]].
* {{Pun}}: Although some of the wordplay doesn't translate well, a lot of it still does:
** A young and dumb scholar is told his beard is coming in, so he waits by the door for it.
** A soldier who gets a chamber pot dumped on him lambasts his opponents for fighting dirty.
** A newborn son is to be given his father's name, and the father will have to [[TheNameless get by without one for the time being]].
** An Abderan brings onions and turnips with him on a sea voyage because he heard [[{{Gasshole}} they give you wind]].
** A DeadpanSnarker is asked by a chatty barber how he'd like his hair styled, and replies "Silently."
** A student asks his teacher what Priam's mother was called, and he doesn't remember, so he replies that she was called "ma'am."
** A man visiting a grave is asked by a passerby who rests in peace, and he replies [[AwfulWeddedLife himself, now that his wife is gone]].
* ReunionVow: A dumb scholar reassures an athlete who lost at the Secular Games that he'll have better luck next time -- unaware that the games were to honor the 1,000th anniversary of Rome's founding.
* RepeatAfterMe: A Cumaean is shouting for someone's name and is advised to shout louder, so he shouts "Louder!"
* ScyllaAndCharybdis: A man laments he's "between two evils" when he's between a woman with body odor and a woman with bad breath.
* SerialNumbersFiledOff: A sizable amount of the jokes are recycled for different subjects (e.g., Cumaeans and Abderans), or are just variations on the same punchline.
* SuspectIsHatless: A Cumaean trying to identify his son's body at an enbalmer's says "He had a cough."
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: A lazy scholar gets a letter from a friend asking him to buy some books, but never gets around to it. When the friend arrives, the scholar replies that he never got the letter... while also knowing what it was asking.
* WidowsWeeds:
** A dumb scholar who sees a black hen asks if her rooster died.
** An alcoholic who hears his wife died switches to drinking dark wine.
----
