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* Tony, a.k.a. "Mr Torso," and technically a.k.a. "Mr Fast Awesome" though it's only he himself who calls him that. A quadrouple amputee and ace driver [[TheLancer who helps June in her escape.]] The eighth deadliest member of the organisation.
to:
* Tony, a.k.a. "Mr Torso," and technically a.k.a. "Mr Fast Awesome" though it's only he himself who calls him himself that. A quadrouple quadruple amputee and ace driver [[TheLancer who helps June in her escape.]] The eighth deadliest member of the organisation.
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* CoitusEnsues: June and Tony get it on in a hotel room while hiding out, and it's ''amazing.''
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Dewicked trope
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* EverythingsBetterWithDinosaurs: The original inspiration for the story, according to the foreword.
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* CoitusEnsues: June and Tony get it on in a hotel room while hiding out, and it's ''amazing.''
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* DrivesLikeCrazy: Magic Steve ''goes'' crazy while driving. He starts halucinating that he's not just driving a robot dinosaur, but ''is'' a dinosaur.
to:
* DrivesLikeCrazy: Magic Steve ''goes'' crazy while driving. He starts halucinating hallucinating that he's not just driving a robot dinosaur, but ''is'' a dinosaur.
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* GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex: June and Tony get it on in a hotel room while hiding out, and it's ''amazing.''
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No longer a trope.
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* {{Transgender}}: Implied to be the case with June. Most of her dops are men, and she notes that they all seem very happy and confident, whereas she always feels out of place and like something is wrong with her life.
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* Magic Steve, a PsychoticManchild who can't drive a dinosaur without imagining that he is one. Presumably the sixth most dangerous member of the organisation. [[note]]His number is never mentioned, but it's the only one left, meaning either Steve is number six or he's number 11 or higher and there is another mobster who never appears in the story.[[/note]]
to:
* Magic Steve, a PsychoticManchild PsychopathicManchild who can't drive a dinosaur without imagining that he is one. Presumably the sixth most dangerous member of the organisation. [[note]]His number is never mentioned, but it's the only one left, meaning either Steve is number six or he's number 11 or higher and there is another mobster who never appears in the story.[[/note]]
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* GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul: Mr Happy suffers from this due to a neurological disorder. He's incapable of feeling anything but perfect happiness all the time.
to:
* GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul: Mr Happy suffers from this due to a neurological disorder. He's incapable of feeling anything but perfect happiness all the time. [[AndIMustScream He flat-out says that it isn't as great as it sounds.]]
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* KavorkaMan: Tony is fat and ugly. Oh, and a ''quadrouple amputee''. Doesn't stop him from being a big hit with the ladies.
to:
* KavorkaMan: Tony is fat and ugly. Oh, and a ''quadrouple amputee''. Doesn't stop him from being a big hit with the ladies. [[SexGod He's also pretty good at sex, too.]]
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* {{Transgender}}: Implied to be the case with June. Most of her dops are men, and she notes that they all seem very happy and confident, whereas she always feels out of place and like something is wrong with her life.
to:
* {{Transgender}}: Implied to be the case with June. Most of her dops are men, and she notes that they all seem very happy and confident, whereas she always feels out of place and like something is wrong with her life.life.
----
----
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* ShoutOut: After having Mr Sorry use his SuperSpeed to dodge all but one of Race Face's bullets, Rape Face [[Film/TheMatrix puts the barrel of the gun against Mr Sorry's face and pulls the trigger, telling him to "dodge this."]] [[spoiler: ''He does.'']]
to:
* ShoutOut: After having Mr Sorry use his SuperSpeed to dodge all but one of Race Rape Face's bullets, Rape Face [[Film/TheMatrix puts the barrel of the gun against Mr Sorry's face and pulls the trigger, telling him to "dodge this."]] [[spoiler: ''He does.'']]
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[[quoteright:307:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/armadillo_fists.jpg]]
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* FourthDateMarriage: Deconstructed. Near the end, June declares (while being delirious from her injuries, admittedly) that she loves Tony and wants to marry him. Tony humours her to keep her spirits up while racing her to the hospital, but inwardly he notes that there's no reason why she should be this devoted to him this soon, and that something must be making her feel a void inside that she's desperate to fill.
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* ThirdDateMarriage: Deconstructed. Near the end, June declares (while being delirious from her injuries, admittedly) that she loves Tony and wants to marry him. Tony humours her to keep her spirits up while racing her to the hospital, but inwardly he notes that there's no reason why she should be this devoted to him this soon, and that something must be making her feel a void inside that she's desperate to fill.
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* ThirdDateMarriage: Deconstructed. Near the end, June declares (while being delirious from her injuries, admittedly) that she loves Tony and wants to marry him. Tony humours her to keep her spirits up while racing her to the hospital, but inwardly he notes that there's no reason why she should be this devoted to him this soon, and that something must be making her feel a void inside that she's desperate to fill.
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Changed the offensive Transsexual link to the more accurate Trangender
Changed line(s) 55 (click to see context) from:
* {{Transsexual}}: Implied to be the case with June. Most of her dops are men, and she notes that they all seem very happy and confident, whereas she always feels out of place and like something is wrong with her life.
to:
* {{Transsexual}}: {{Transgender}}: Implied to be the case with June. Most of her dops are men, and she notes that they all seem very happy and confident, whereas she always feels out of place and like something is wrong with her life.
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None
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* ShoutOut: After having Mr Sorry use his SuperSpeed to dodge all but one of Race Face's bullets, Rape Face [[Film/TheMatrix puts the barrel of the gun against Mr Sorry's face and pulls the trigger, telling him to "dodge this."]] [[spoiler: ''He does.'']]
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* TheSoulless: Mr Sorry's mother claimed that he was this, and he does act the part, being constantly cold and emotionless.
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In a world where people drive giant robotic dinosaurs instead of cars, a woman with armadillos for hands is on the run from TheMob, assisted by a driver with no arms and legs. ItMakesSenseInContext. Well, sort of.
to:
In a world where people drive giant robotic dinosaurs instead of cars, a woman with armadillos for hands is on the run from TheMob, [[TheMafia the mob]], assisted by a driver with no arms and legs. ItMakesSenseInContext. Well, sort of.
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None
Changed line(s) 1,2 (click to see context) from:
In a world where people drive giant robotic dinosaurs instead of cars, a woman with armadillos for hands is on the run from the mob, assisted by a driver with no arms and legs. ItMakesSenseInContext. Well, sort of.
to:
In a world where people drive giant robotic dinosaurs instead of cars, a woman with armadillos for hands is on the run from the mob, TheMob, assisted by a driver with no arms and legs. ItMakesSenseInContext. Well, sort of.
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* TheDriver: Tony's role in the organisation.
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* AlternateUniverse: There are many, and each one contains a dop (short for "doppelganger") of you. People will arrange special get-togethers for all their dops, to find out how many different ways their lives could have turned out. Such get-togethers can lead to unsettling discoveries, though - June finds out that she's male in almost all other realities, and Rape Face finds out that he's ''exactly the same'' in every single reality, meaning there was never even the possibility of him becoming anything other than an unpopular, unsuccessful JerkAss.
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Changed line(s) 29 (click to see context) from:
** Tony doesn't like being called "Mr Torso." He feels he should more accurately be called "Mr Awesome," or more formally, "Mr ''Fast'' Awesome."
to:
** Tony doesn't like being called "Mr Torso." He feels he should more accurately be called "Mr Awesome," or more formally, even better, "Mr ''Fast'' Awesome."
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* EverythingsBetterWithDinosaurs: The original inspiration for the story, according to the foreword.
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In a world where people drive giant robotic dinosaurs instead of cars, a woman with armadillos for hands is on the run from the mob, assisted by a driver with no arms and legs. ItMakesSenseInContext. Well, sort of.
This AffectionateParody of gangster movies in the style of Creator/QuentinTarantino consists mainly of the fights and betrayals among the QuirkyMinibossSquad who used to work for now-deceased mobster Big Bob. Each wears a tattoo with a number that describes where they rank in the organisation's SortingAlgorithmOfEvil. The characters are:
* June Howard, a.k.a. "Armadillo Fists," a.k.a. "Psycho June." TheHeroine, female ex-boxer with armadillos for hands. Was originally offered the place of fourth deadliest member of the organisation, but declined.
* Tony, a.k.a. "Mr Torso," and technically a.k.a. "Mr Fast Awesome" though it's only he himself who calls him that. A quadrouple amputee and ace driver [[TheLancer who helps June in her escape.]] The eighth deadliest member of the organisation.
* Rape Face, a.k.a. "Mr Face." The SmugSnake [[NumberTwo second-in-command]] of the organisation who [[BigBad leads the hunt for June.]] Is only considered the ninth deadliest member of the organisation, to his annoyance.
* Bobby Mazetti, a.k.a. "Big Bob." The boss, a DirtyOldMan whose death sets off the plot. Did not give himself a number, though Tony reflects that that technically makes him number zero.
* Mr Happy, Big Bob's newphew, a PerpetualSmiler who is always happy about everything. The seventh most deadly member of the organisation.
* Mr Slick, a former yo-yo champion who fights with two guns attached to wires, allowing him to shoot around corners. The fifth most dangerous member of the organisation.
* Mr Food, a BigEater and FatBastard. The tenth most dangerous member of the organisation.
* Magic Steve, a PsychoticManchild who can't drive a dinosaur without imagining that he is one. Presumably the sixth most dangerous member of the organisation. [[note]]His number is never mentioned, but it's the only one left, meaning either Steve is number six or he's number 11 or higher and there is another mobster who never appears in the story.[[/note]]
* Mr Sorry, a former DirtyCop with the power of SuperSpeed. The third most dangerous member of the organisation.
* Mr Marathon, so named because [[BoringButPractical he always completes any task he starts without complaining, no matter how long it takes.]] Supposedly the second most dangerous member of the organisation, though in truth Big Bob just declared him so to piss off Rape Face.
* Mr Corpse, Big Bob's rarely-seen but [[TheDreaded much feared]] champion enforcer. [[ImplacableMan Will not stop until everything in his path is dead.]] The most dangerous member of the organisation. [[spoiler: Is actually the SuperpoweredEvilSide of Mr Food.]]
''Armadillo Fists'' is a BizarroFiction novella by Creator/CarltonMellickIII.
----
!!Contains examples of:
* AcroFatic: June is surprised at how fast Mr Food can move considering how fat he is. [[spoiler: Subverted - he's actually wearing a fat suit, and under it he's quite fit and muscular.]]
* ActionGirl: June is a deadly boxer with... ''enhanced'' fists, even before letting [[SuperpoweredEvilSide Psycho June]] out.
* AffectionateParody: Of hardboiled gangster movies in the vein of Creator/QuentinTarantino.
* AnachronicOrder: The story jumps around quite a lot, filling out the backstory as it goes along.
* DrivesLikeCrazy: Magic Steve ''goes'' crazy while driving. He starts halucinating that he's not just driving a robot dinosaur, but ''is'' a dinosaur.
* EmbarrassingNickname:
** Mr Face ''really'' doesn't like being called "Rape Face." Everyone does it anyway, though, even the narration.
** Tony doesn't like being called "Mr Torso." He feels he should more accurately be called "Mr Awesome," or more formally, "Mr ''Fast'' Awesome."
* TheFace: Mr Face is so named because Big Bob meant for him to be this for the organisation. Sadly, he turned out to have no people or leadership skills whatsoever.
* GenderBlenderName: "June" is a boy's name. Oh, not in our world or in the world of the book, but in just about every other world in the multiverse.
* GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul: Mr Happy suffers from this due to a neurological disorder. He's incapable of feeling anything but perfect happiness all the time.
* GilliganCut: When Mr Slick finds June and Tony holed up in a hotel, he resolves that "he wasn't going to rush in guns-blazing as usual. He was going to be patient. He was going to play it smart." The next chapter has Mr Food and Rape Face hearing on the radio that "some crazy guy [is] shooting up a hotel."
-->'''Rape Face:''' That fucking idiot. He went in guns-blazing as usual. Why couldn't that asshole be patient? He should've played it smart.
* GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex: June and Tony get it on in a hotel room while hiding out, and it's ''amazing.''
* {{Gorn}}: Oh yes. There is one point where a character throws his own entrails at another as a distraction.
* HandicappedBadass: Tony gets by weirdly well without hands or feet. He does find it a hindrance at times, but not nearly as much as a regular person would.
* ImplacableMan: Once Mr Corpse is roused, he will not stop until everything in his path is dead. Having a steel girder through his gut doesn't even seem to slow him down.
* KavorkaMan: Tony is fat and ugly. Oh, and a ''quadrouple amputee''. Doesn't stop him from being a big hit with the ladies.
* KillItWithFire: Mr Happy's choice way of dealing with enemies. He's chosen it specifically because seeing people burn to death in agony is the only thing that allows him to feel even the tiniest bit sad.
* TheLadette: June is only a woman by accident - almost all of her dops are male.
* MeetMyGoodFriendsLeftyAndRighty: June named her armadillo fists "Jocko" and "Judy." Justified since they're living animals grafted onto her body, so they're half body parts, half pets.
* MesACrowd: Going to a dop convention lets you meet all the possible versions of yourself from every existing universe. [[spoiler: Rape Face calls in several of his dops as backup when the June situation heats up.]]
* NonIndicativeName: None of the characters have ever known Rape Face to rape anyone. He just ''looks'' like he's constantly going off and doing it on the sly.
* SmugSnake: Rape Face thinks he's hot shit. He ''really'' isn't. In fact, he's so lacking in potential that there is not a single possible version of him that didn't turn out to be a mean, petty crook.
* SortingAlgorithmOfEvil: The organisation ranks its members from most to least badass. Subverted in that June and Tony don't end up fighting them in order, and it seems that the ranking relies at least partly on favouritism rather than merit.
* TheStarscream: [[spoiler: June didn't actually kill Big Bob. Rape Face found him injured and finished him off so he could take over the organisation.]]
* SuperpoweredEvilSide: June tends to turn into [[BloodKnight Psycho June]] when she fights. She stopped boxing because it was getting harder and harder to make Psycho June go away between matches. [[spoiler: Mr Corpse is this to Mr Food.]]
* TokenSuper: While all the characters have their own shticks, Mr Sorry is the only one who has genuine (and unexplained) supernatural powers.
* {{Transsexual}}: Implied to be the case with June. Most of her dops are men, and she notes that they all seem very happy and confident, whereas she always feels out of place and like something is wrong with her life.
This AffectionateParody of gangster movies in the style of Creator/QuentinTarantino consists mainly of the fights and betrayals among the QuirkyMinibossSquad who used to work for now-deceased mobster Big Bob. Each wears a tattoo with a number that describes where they rank in the organisation's SortingAlgorithmOfEvil. The characters are:
* June Howard, a.k.a. "Armadillo Fists," a.k.a. "Psycho June." TheHeroine, female ex-boxer with armadillos for hands. Was originally offered the place of fourth deadliest member of the organisation, but declined.
* Tony, a.k.a. "Mr Torso," and technically a.k.a. "Mr Fast Awesome" though it's only he himself who calls him that. A quadrouple amputee and ace driver [[TheLancer who helps June in her escape.]] The eighth deadliest member of the organisation.
* Rape Face, a.k.a. "Mr Face." The SmugSnake [[NumberTwo second-in-command]] of the organisation who [[BigBad leads the hunt for June.]] Is only considered the ninth deadliest member of the organisation, to his annoyance.
* Bobby Mazetti, a.k.a. "Big Bob." The boss, a DirtyOldMan whose death sets off the plot. Did not give himself a number, though Tony reflects that that technically makes him number zero.
* Mr Happy, Big Bob's newphew, a PerpetualSmiler who is always happy about everything. The seventh most deadly member of the organisation.
* Mr Slick, a former yo-yo champion who fights with two guns attached to wires, allowing him to shoot around corners. The fifth most dangerous member of the organisation.
* Mr Food, a BigEater and FatBastard. The tenth most dangerous member of the organisation.
* Magic Steve, a PsychoticManchild who can't drive a dinosaur without imagining that he is one. Presumably the sixth most dangerous member of the organisation. [[note]]His number is never mentioned, but it's the only one left, meaning either Steve is number six or he's number 11 or higher and there is another mobster who never appears in the story.[[/note]]
* Mr Sorry, a former DirtyCop with the power of SuperSpeed. The third most dangerous member of the organisation.
* Mr Marathon, so named because [[BoringButPractical he always completes any task he starts without complaining, no matter how long it takes.]] Supposedly the second most dangerous member of the organisation, though in truth Big Bob just declared him so to piss off Rape Face.
* Mr Corpse, Big Bob's rarely-seen but [[TheDreaded much feared]] champion enforcer. [[ImplacableMan Will not stop until everything in his path is dead.]] The most dangerous member of the organisation. [[spoiler: Is actually the SuperpoweredEvilSide of Mr Food.]]
''Armadillo Fists'' is a BizarroFiction novella by Creator/CarltonMellickIII.
----
!!Contains examples of:
* AcroFatic: June is surprised at how fast Mr Food can move considering how fat he is. [[spoiler: Subverted - he's actually wearing a fat suit, and under it he's quite fit and muscular.]]
* ActionGirl: June is a deadly boxer with... ''enhanced'' fists, even before letting [[SuperpoweredEvilSide Psycho June]] out.
* AffectionateParody: Of hardboiled gangster movies in the vein of Creator/QuentinTarantino.
* AnachronicOrder: The story jumps around quite a lot, filling out the backstory as it goes along.
* DrivesLikeCrazy: Magic Steve ''goes'' crazy while driving. He starts halucinating that he's not just driving a robot dinosaur, but ''is'' a dinosaur.
* EmbarrassingNickname:
** Mr Face ''really'' doesn't like being called "Rape Face." Everyone does it anyway, though, even the narration.
** Tony doesn't like being called "Mr Torso." He feels he should more accurately be called "Mr Awesome," or more formally, "Mr ''Fast'' Awesome."
* TheFace: Mr Face is so named because Big Bob meant for him to be this for the organisation. Sadly, he turned out to have no people or leadership skills whatsoever.
* GenderBlenderName: "June" is a boy's name. Oh, not in our world or in the world of the book, but in just about every other world in the multiverse.
* GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul: Mr Happy suffers from this due to a neurological disorder. He's incapable of feeling anything but perfect happiness all the time.
* GilliganCut: When Mr Slick finds June and Tony holed up in a hotel, he resolves that "he wasn't going to rush in guns-blazing as usual. He was going to be patient. He was going to play it smart." The next chapter has Mr Food and Rape Face hearing on the radio that "some crazy guy [is] shooting up a hotel."
-->'''Rape Face:''' That fucking idiot. He went in guns-blazing as usual. Why couldn't that asshole be patient? He should've played it smart.
* GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex: June and Tony get it on in a hotel room while hiding out, and it's ''amazing.''
* {{Gorn}}: Oh yes. There is one point where a character throws his own entrails at another as a distraction.
* HandicappedBadass: Tony gets by weirdly well without hands or feet. He does find it a hindrance at times, but not nearly as much as a regular person would.
* ImplacableMan: Once Mr Corpse is roused, he will not stop until everything in his path is dead. Having a steel girder through his gut doesn't even seem to slow him down.
* KavorkaMan: Tony is fat and ugly. Oh, and a ''quadrouple amputee''. Doesn't stop him from being a big hit with the ladies.
* KillItWithFire: Mr Happy's choice way of dealing with enemies. He's chosen it specifically because seeing people burn to death in agony is the only thing that allows him to feel even the tiniest bit sad.
* TheLadette: June is only a woman by accident - almost all of her dops are male.
* MeetMyGoodFriendsLeftyAndRighty: June named her armadillo fists "Jocko" and "Judy." Justified since they're living animals grafted onto her body, so they're half body parts, half pets.
* MesACrowd: Going to a dop convention lets you meet all the possible versions of yourself from every existing universe. [[spoiler: Rape Face calls in several of his dops as backup when the June situation heats up.]]
* NonIndicativeName: None of the characters have ever known Rape Face to rape anyone. He just ''looks'' like he's constantly going off and doing it on the sly.
* SmugSnake: Rape Face thinks he's hot shit. He ''really'' isn't. In fact, he's so lacking in potential that there is not a single possible version of him that didn't turn out to be a mean, petty crook.
* SortingAlgorithmOfEvil: The organisation ranks its members from most to least badass. Subverted in that June and Tony don't end up fighting them in order, and it seems that the ranking relies at least partly on favouritism rather than merit.
* TheStarscream: [[spoiler: June didn't actually kill Big Bob. Rape Face found him injured and finished him off so he could take over the organisation.]]
* SuperpoweredEvilSide: June tends to turn into [[BloodKnight Psycho June]] when she fights. She stopped boxing because it was getting harder and harder to make Psycho June go away between matches. [[spoiler: Mr Corpse is this to Mr Food.]]
* TokenSuper: While all the characters have their own shticks, Mr Sorry is the only one who has genuine (and unexplained) supernatural powers.
* {{Transsexual}}: Implied to be the case with June. Most of her dops are men, and she notes that they all seem very happy and confident, whereas she always feels out of place and like something is wrong with her life.
