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** On a similar note, [[RomanceOfTheThreeKingdoms I shall never so much as step foot on the same battlefield as Lu Bu, let alone pursue him.]] [[ChronicBackstabbingDisorder Even if he's technically an "ally".]]

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** On a similar note, [[RomanceOfTheThreeKingdoms [[Literature/RomanceOfTheThreeKingdoms I shall never so much as step foot on the same battlefield as Lu Bu, let alone pursue him.]] [[ChronicBackstabbingDisorder Even if he's technically an "ally".]]


*** One of the enemy soldiers starts running towards the tank completely in the open, but [[ATeamFiring none of our shots seem to be able to hit]] or otherwise dissuade their attack. ''Especially'' if the enemy soldier in question is a muscle-bound wall of a man [[MoreDakka loaded down with a small platoon's worth of guns and ammunition]] and is [[Franchise/Rambo not wearing a shirt.]]

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*** One of the enemy soldiers starts running towards the tank completely in the open, but [[ATeamFiring none of our shots seem to be able to hit]] or otherwise dissuade their attack. ''Especially'' if the enemy soldier in question is a muscle-bound wall of a man [[MoreDakka loaded down with a small platoon's worth of guns and ammunition]] and is [[Franchise/Rambo [[Franchise/{{Rambo}} not wearing a shirt.]]


*** We happen upon a single, but [[AceCustom heavily customized]] enemy tank and our tank is not equally heavily customized. It doesn't matter how many other generic tanks are with me. We ''will'' die if we don't immediately get the hell out of Dodge.

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*** We happen upon a single, but [[AceCustom heavily customized]] enemy tank and our tank is not equally heavily customized. It doesn't matter how many other generic tanks are with me. We ''will'' die if we don't immediately get the hell out of Dodge.Dodge.
*** One of the enemy soldiers starts running towards the tank completely in the open, but [[ATeamFiring none of our shots seem to be able to hit]] or otherwise dissuade their attack. ''Especially'' if the enemy soldier in question is a muscle-bound wall of a man [[MoreDakka loaded down with a small platoon's worth of guns and ammunition]] and is [[Franchise/Rambo not wearing a shirt.]]


** That being said, if being part of a tank crew is unavoidable, I will maintain a keen awareness of what is going on around me. If any of the following occur, I will immediately bail out of the tank and put as much distance as I can between it and myself, preferably taking cover in something like a bunker or building.

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** That being said, if being part of a tank crew is unavoidable, I will maintain a keen awareness of what is going on around me. If Should any of the following occur, I will immediately bail out of the tank and put as much distance as I can between it and myself, preferably taking cover in something like a bunker or building.


Added DiffLines:

*** We happen upon a single, but [[AceCustom heavily customized]] enemy tank and our tank is not equally heavily customized. It doesn't matter how many other generic tanks are with me. We ''will'' die if we don't immediately get the hell out of Dodge.


** That being said, if being part of a tank crew is unavoidable, I will maintain a keen awareness of what is going on around me. If any of the following occur, I will immediately bail out of the tank and take cover in something more solid, like a building or bunker.
** The battle is going exceptionally well for us, and one of the rookies shouts, "[[TemptingFate Nothing can stop us now!]]"
** We get word of an impending enemy counter attack, and our tank is the only unit available for defense.
** Everything suddenly becomes very quiet, and [[ItsQuietTooQuiet someone makes note of it.]]
** Any time I hear aircraft. If they're enemies, they'll see the tank as a very enticing target. If they're friends, they'll mistake us for enemies and attack anyways.

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** That being said, if being part of a tank crew is unavoidable, I will maintain a keen awareness of what is going on around me. If any of the following occur, I will immediately bail out of the tank and take put as much distance as I can between it and myself, preferably taking cover in something more solid, like a building bunker or bunker.
**
building.
***
The battle is going exceptionally well for us, and one of the rookies shouts, "[[TemptingFate Nothing can stop us now!]]"
** *** We get word of an impending enemy counter attack, and our tank is the only unit available for defense.
** *** Everything suddenly becomes very quiet, and [[ItsQuietTooQuiet someone makes note of it.]]
** *** Any time I hear aircraft. If they're enemies, they'll see the tank as a very enticing target. If they're friends, they'll mistake us for enemies and attack anyways.

Added DiffLines:

** That being said, if being part of a tank crew is unavoidable, I will maintain a keen awareness of what is going on around me. If any of the following occur, I will immediately bail out of the tank and take cover in something more solid, like a building or bunker.
** The battle is going exceptionally well for us, and one of the rookies shouts, "[[TemptingFate Nothing can stop us now!]]"
** We get word of an impending enemy counter attack, and our tank is the only unit available for defense.
** Everything suddenly becomes very quiet, and [[ItsQuietTooQuiet someone makes note of it.]]
** Any time I hear aircraft. If they're enemies, they'll see the tank as a very enticing target. If they're friends, they'll mistake us for enemies and attack anyways.


* If I am facing down a Tiger tank with rifles and small arms, I will make the deal. What kind of deal? A DEAL, deal!

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* If I am facing down a Tiger tank with rifles and small arms, I will make the deal. What kind of deal? [[Film/KellysHeroes A DEAL, deal!deal!]]


** If female and Southern, be a SouthernBelle, as you'll likely be in a [[GoneWithTheWind romantic epic]] rather than a war movie. Of course, you run the risk of half your friends dying and the love of your life walking out on you at the end, but at least you live.

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** If female and Southern, be a SouthernBelle, as you'll likely be in a [[GoneWithTheWind [[Film/GoneWithTheWind romantic epic]] rather than a war movie. Of course, you run the risk of half your friends dying and the love of your life walking out on you at the end, but at least you live.


* If I am in a movie about UsefulNotes/TheVietnamWar, I will join the Viet Cong. They are almost never seen onscreen, and therefore their chances of survival are dramatically raised. I will ''not ever'' join the U.S. Army, unless I am either [[ForrestGump an adorable mentally retarded man with an amazing talent for avoiding all types of danger]] or [[Film/FullMetalJacket a combat correspondent]].

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* If I am in a movie about UsefulNotes/TheVietnamWar, I will join the Viet Cong. They are almost never seen onscreen, and therefore their chances of survival are dramatically raised. I will ''not ever'' join the U.S. Army, unless I am either [[ForrestGump [[Film/ForrestGump an adorable mentally retarded man with an amazing talent for avoiding all types of danger]] or [[Film/FullMetalJacket a combat correspondent]].


*** Probably involving a GoryDiscretionShot that results in bits of him [[BloodSpatteredInnocents splattering on ''me'']].

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*** Probably involving a GoryDiscretionShot that results in bits of him [[BloodSpatteredInnocents [[BloodSplatteredInnocents splattering on ''me'']].


** Even if I'm German.

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** Even if I'm German.German...
** ...and ''especially'' if I'm a Newfoundlander. [[note]] [[GeniusBonus Being on the 10% reserve doesn't count.]] It just means you might survive another week, if that. [[/note]]


* I will not be the guy [[KillItWithFire wielding the flame thrower]] unless the enemies can only engage using melee attacks. Or I'm a {{Badass}} and happen to have [[ComicBook/{{Watchmen}} some damn cool backup]]

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* I will not be the guy [[KillItWithFire wielding the flame thrower]] unless the enemies can only engage using melee attacks. Or I'm a {{Badass}} badass and happen to have [[ComicBook/{{Watchmen}} some damn cool backup]]


** I will endeavor to remain close to an American of as high a rank as possible, ''always'' offer to be a liaison officer to said Americans, and offer conservative-sounding advice whenever possible in a heavily-accented English. If no American is around in this sector, chose a Brit. Stay as far away from any French, Italian, or Russians as possible, even if they're on your "side".

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** I will endeavor to remain close to an American of as high a rank as possible, ''always'' offer to be a liaison officer to said Americans, and offer conservative-sounding advice whenever possible in a heavily-accented English. If no American is around in this sector, chose a Brit. Stay as far away from any French, Italian, French or Russians Italians as possible, even if they're on your "side".side now.


** If I'm assigned under a Lt. [[TheNeidermeyer Neidermeyer]] or CaptainQueeg, I will kill myself because they are a karmic black hole whose very existence guarantees we will all die. Alternately, especially if their name actually is Neidermeyer, I will [[AnimalHouse frag]] them at the first opportunity.

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** If I'm assigned under a Lt. [[TheNeidermeyer Neidermeyer]] or CaptainQueeg, I will kill myself because they are a karmic black hole whose very existence guarantees we will all die. Alternately, especially if their name actually is Neidermeyer, I will [[AnimalHouse [[Film/AnimalHouse frag]] them at the first opportunity.


** If I am the only woman around, I will make sure to be an ActionGirl. Civilian women in combat zones tend to become [[WarIsHell aesop-related]] collateral damage. I will also, however, invest in military-grade [[VasquezAlwaysDies makeup and hairstyling tools]].

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** If I am the only woman around, I will make sure to be an ActionGirl. Civilian women in combat zones tend to become [[WarIsHell aesop-related]] collateral damage. (Though I will also, however, of course, invest in military-grade [[VasquezAlwaysDies makeup and hairstyling tools]].)


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* I will be [[BoisterousBruiser jovial, eager for a fight, and as large and muscular as possible]], which should guarantee that I am either the protagonist or a sufficiently tertiary character that my death would have no dramatic resonance.

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