History Funny / ZeroPunctuation5

* He then vents about the sheer number of {{Roguelikes}} on the market.

* Yahtzee throws in his two cents about the unfinished state of the game.[[note]]And he played the relatively ''stable'' Steam version, and not UsefulNotes/TheEighthGenerationOfConsoleVideoGames versions which were outright broken.[[/note]]

* Yahtzee stating UsefulNotes/TheNinthGenerationOfConsoleVideoGames hasn't excited him.

''(Yahtzee's avatar in bed with the UsefulNotes/PlayStation5 and the [[UsefulNotes/XboxSeriesXAndS Xbox Series X]].)''\\

-->'''Yahtzee:''' If you saw the title ''Final Fantasy VII Remake'' and from the words ''Final Fantasy VII'' and ''Remake'' are now expecting a remake of the game ''Final Fantasy VII'' then you might be disappointed. ''Final Fantasy VII Remake'' ends at the bit where you leave the first city, or about one third of the way through the first disc of the original [[UsefulNotes/PlayStation PS1]] game.\\

* Then Yahtzee realizes that ''Shantae'' debuted on the UsefulNotes/GameBoyColor.

-->'''Yahtzee:''' Long term viewers will know there were a lot of things standing in the way of me liking ''VideoGame/Persona5''. It was a {{JRPG}} for one thing. And even for a JRPG it was anime as dicks, being set in a high school and centered around characters slightly too young to be constantly giving off the vibe of wanting to bone each other senseless. But against all odds, I loved it, and it was suggested I try out ''Persona 4 Golden'', previously a [[UsefulNotes/PlayStationVita PS Vita]] game but recently out on Steam, which is like a goldfish moving from a bowl to a nine-acre sewage treatment facility.

* "So the [[UsefulNotes/PlayStation5 PS5]] is going to be a souped up [=PS4=] that looks like someone sat on a giant [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liquorice_allsorts liquorice allsort]] and the Xbox is just gonna [[UsefulNotes/XboxSeriesXAndS keep adding X's to its name]] like a serial divorcee, but who fucking cares? Why are we still tethering huge plastic bricks to televisions like millstones around the neck of the future? It’s 2020 for fuck's sake. We should be downloading multicolored tech dreams from cyberspace to our holographic skateboards."

-->'''Yahtzee:''' The main problem that has always stuck out of fixed camera 3D platformers like a traumatically botched nipple piercing is depth perception. Sure, Crash Bandicoot gets a nice obvious shadow under him but why doesn't anything ''else''? So if I'm trying to land on a hovering crate or enemy, I'm once again playing bottomless pit Russian roulette. If you're going to demand consistent perfection from me, it'd be nice if the mechanics could be fucking ''consistent'' in return, is me point. Tawna's unique mechanic is a [[GrapplingHookPistol grappling hook gun]] (because of ''course'' it fucking is) but it's contextual, and more than once I was in midair and the grapple prompt apparently decided I was a couple of nanometres off for its tastes and so I was cordially invited to ''eat shit''. "Man", I thought, "if I'd been going for [[NoDamageRun the no deaths run]] then I'd be frothing like a poorly supervised coffee machine right about now." Fortunately, I long ago came to terms with my own mediocrity, [[SelfDeprecation as it seems have most of my viewership]]. At first, I thought the checkpoints were too far apart, but then I noticed that new checkpoints appear if you die enough times, so I guess it's like the American healthcare system where they'll give you the baseline amount of necessary care but ''only'' if you can prove that you're oozing out of at least three places. And it's not just a matter of high difficulty because the loading times on the [[UsefulNotes/PlayStation4 PS4]] at least are slow enough to qualify for handicapped parking, so if you're having to restart a level a lot then you'll spend a lot of time alone with your private thoughts and that's how we get serial murderers. So in summary, again I must congratulate the developers for successfully recreating what feels like a late 90's [[UsefulNotes/PlayStation PS1]] platformer with absolutely none of the conveniences, design innovations and quality of life improvements we've come up with in the meantime.

'''Viewer:''' Oh, who the fuck needs context, Yahtz? It's fast, arcade-y fun combat! Did you miss the instructions? Step 1, rip. Step 2, tear. [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers Step 3, lunch.]]

'''Yahtzee:''' Ooh, did the entire management team at [[Creator/ElectronicArts EA]] [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers contract cholera from giving each other]] [[ComicSutra rusty trombones?]]\\

''(Videogame/{{Amy}}'' appears in front of Yahtzee's avatar, who turns to see ''VideoGame/{{Remothered}}: Broken Porcelain'' behind him.)\\

* The CreditsGag for the ''VideoGame/{{Amy}}'' review declared "Fortunately, he will never breed". As Yahtzee and his wife Kess recently had a daughter, the closing gag for this episode serves as a BrickJoke: