Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
Fixing formatting and improperly indented examples.
Changed line(s) 19,22 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Vyvyan''': We had a front door at the old house!
--> '''Rick''': Yes, Vyvyan, but it was nailed to the ceiling in the living room!
* "NEIL! YOUR BEDROOM'S ON FIRE!"
* "DO YOU REALLY THINK ANYONE IS THE SLIGHTEST BIT INTERESTED IN ANYTHING YOU EVER SAY OR DO EVER, NEIL?!"
--> '''Rick''': Yes, Vyvyan, but it was nailed to the ceiling in the living room!
* "NEIL! YOUR BEDROOM'S ON FIRE!"
* "DO YOU REALLY THINK ANYONE IS THE SLIGHTEST BIT INTERESTED IN ANYTHING YOU EVER SAY OR DO EVER, NEIL?!"
to:
-->'''Vyvyan''': We had a front door at the old
-->
'''Rick''': Yes, Vyvyan, but it was nailed to the ceiling in the living room!
*
-->'''Rick:''' ''(trying to close the door on Vyvyan)'' Vyvyan, this is ''my'' bedroom!\\
'''Vyvyan:''' Oh yeah!?\\
'''Rick:''' Yes, I was here first!\\
'''Vyvyan:''' ''(forces his way in)'' You got any witnesses?\\
'''Rick:''' Look, I don't need witnesses, just get off my property!\\
'''Vyvyan:''' No.\\
'''Rick:''' Get out! ''(pinches Vyvyan's arm; Vyvyan doesn't even flinch, and instead punches Rick to the floor. Rick responds by throwing a length of pipe at Vyvyan, but it misses and crashes through the window)''\\
'''Vyvyan:''' ''(emptying out his clothes bag)'' Look, this must be my bedroom, all my clothes are in it!\\
'''Rick:''' ''(runs over, grabs Vyvyan's clothes, kicks out the window glass, and throws the clothes out)'' No they're not, Vyvyan!\\
''(Vyvyan casually lights a match and sets the bed on fire)''\\
'''Rick:''' ... all right then, ''have'' the bedroom!\\
'''Vyvyan:''' I don't want it. It's not mine.\\
'''Rick:''' Yes, it is!\\
'''Vyvyan:''' No, it isn't.\\
'''Rick:''' You said it was yours just now!\\
'''Vyvyan:''' ''({{beat}})'' So did you!\\
'''Rick:''' No, I didn't!\\
'''Vyvyan:''' Did!\\
'''Rick:''' Didn't!\\
'''Vyvyan:''' Did!\\
'''Rick:''' ''Didn't!''\\
'''Vyvyan:''' '''''Did!'''''\\
'''Rick:''' ''(putting his fingers in his ears and closing his eyes)'' '''''DIDN'T DIDN'T DIDN'T DIDN'T!!!'''''\\
''(they both get an idea, and run to the stairwell to shout over the banister)''\\
'''Vyvyan, Rick:''' Neil! Your bedroom's on fire!\\
'''Neil:''' ''(coming out of the room across the landing)'' But this is my bedroom... ''(sees the burning bed)'' Oh, ''no''.\\
''(Rick and Vyvyan immediately fight over what was previously Neil's room)''
*
-->''(the only picture is a small white dot in the centre of the screen)''\\
'''Rick:''' What is that little white dot?\\
'''Neil:''' It's a little white dot.\\
'''Rick:''' Oh, very clever.\\
'''Neil:''' It must be a really old telly.\\
'''Rick:''' What, hippie!?\\
'''Neil:''' Look, there's a sign in that little white dot. It means something really heavy. It means, there's no more telly. Time to go to bed. ''(stands up)'' I'm going upstairs now to finish painting my astrological star chart, all right? ''(heads upstairs)''\\
'''Rick:''' ''(after a pause, shouts after Neil)'' Do you really think that anyone has ever been the slightest bit interested in anything you say or do ever, Neil?! ''(sigh)'' God, fascist. ''(stands up)'' Are you going to bed, Vyvyan?\\
'''Vyvyan:''' No. I'm going to watch the dot for a bit longer.\\
'''Rick:''' Wish we had a video. Then I could tape it and watch it in the morning.
* After Mike has used Vyvyan's (fictitious) discovery of oil to declare himself president of the house as an oil republic, with Vyvyan as his military, Vyvyan hits Rick and Neil with a cricket bat to bring them into line. Cue Rick shouting, "Ha! [[GroinAttack Missed both my legs!]]"
Changed line(s) 28,30 (click to see context) from:
* Vyvyan hitting Rick and Neil with a cricket bat, cue Rick shouting, "Ha! [[GroinAttack Missed both my legs!]]
* The whole thing being due to Vyvyan lying about striking oil.
* The whole thing being due to Vyvyan lying about striking oil.
to:
* The whole thing being due to Vyvyan lying about striking oil.
Changed line(s) 79,80 (click to see context) from:
* Rick getting his anarchist credentials by not paying his TV licence. To which Vyvyan replies, "What are you going to do Rick, burn your bra?"
** To which Rick retorts, "Well, ''someone's'' got to, Vyvyan!"
** To which Rick retorts, "Well, ''someone's'' got to, Vyvyan!"
to:
* Rick getting his anarchist credentials by not paying his TV licence. To which Vyvyan replies, "What licence.
-->'''Rick:''' Yeah, this will shake them up at the Anarchists' Society! Occupying the refectories! So what? This is the real stuff! I'm a fugitive! A desperado! I'm going to form a new union society, right? With me as president! "People Who Don't Pay Their TV Licences Against the Nazis!" ''(takes out pad and pen and starts writing)'' This is only the beginning!\\
'''Vyvyan:''' ''(unimpressed)'' What are you going todo Rick, burn do, Rick? Burn your bra?"
** To which Rick retorts, "Well,bra?\\
'''Rick:''' ''(glares at Vyvyan)'' Well, ''someone's'' gotto, Vyvyan!"to do it, Vyvyan!
-->'''Rick:''' Yeah, this will shake them up at the Anarchists' Society! Occupying the refectories! So what? This is the real stuff! I'm a fugitive! A desperado! I'm going to form a new union society, right? With me as president! "People Who Don't Pay Their TV Licences Against the Nazis!" ''(takes out pad and pen and starts writing)'' This is only the beginning!\\
'''Vyvyan:''' ''(unimpressed)'' What are you going to
** To which Rick retorts, "Well,
'''Rick:''' ''(glares at Vyvyan)'' Well, ''someone's'' got
Changed line(s) 96 (click to see context) from:
* Rick's 'mouse in a telescope'.
to:
* Rick's 'mouse Rick reveals his total ignorance of anything to do with women when he finds a tampon in one of the party guests' purses... and thinks it's "a telescope... with a telescope'.mouse in it!"
* With nothing to do because of the rain, the lads resort to playing hide-and-seek. Vyvyan climbs into the wardrobe... and somehow ends up in Narnia. Later in the episode, Jerzi also ends up in Narnia while pursuing the lads in his homicidal rage.
Changed line(s) 108 (click to see context) from:
* Vyvyan somehow ending up in Narnia.
to:
* Vyvyan somehow ending up in Narnia.Vyvyan, after getting violently attacked by SPG, promptly hits him with a hammer and throws him outside. A shark then tries to eat SPG, who distracts it by asking for his autograph.
Changed line(s) 119,120 (click to see context) from:
* Vyvyan, after getting violently attacked by SPG, promptly hits him with a hammer and throws him outside. A shark then tries to eat SPG, who distracts it by asking for his autograph.
to:
Changed line(s) 132,133 (click to see context) from:
* Vyvyan using a blend of "psychology and extreme violence" by tricking the washing machine into accepting the boy's dirty clothes by pretending they have "all of Felicity Kendalls' underwear!"
* The boys scrambling for the train in a parody of the opening sequence of ''Film/AHardDaysNight'', espeically Vyvyan stuffing [[JabbaTableManners an entire doughnut into his mouth]] and FlippingTheBird to a random woman (who promptly starts [[Corpsing]]), and Rick trying to steal a newspaper, only to run back to pay for it when the camera catches him doing it.
* The boys scrambling for the train in a parody of the opening sequence of ''Film/AHardDaysNight'', espeically Vyvyan stuffing [[JabbaTableManners an entire doughnut into his mouth]] and FlippingTheBird to a random woman (who promptly starts [[Corpsing]]), and Rick trying to steal a newspaper, only to run back to pay for it when the camera catches him doing it.
to:
* Vyvyan using a blend of "psychology and extreme violence" by tricking the washing machine into accepting the boy's dirty clothes by pretending they have "all of Felicity Kendalls' Kendal's underwear!"
* The boys scrambling for the train in a parody of the opening sequence of ''Film/AHardDaysNight'', espeically Vyvyan stuffing [[JabbaTableManners an entire doughnut into his mouth]] and FlippingTheBird to a random woman (who promptly starts[[Corpsing]]), {{Corpsing}}), and Rick trying to steal a newspaper, only to run back to pay for it when the camera catches him doing it.
* The boys scrambling for the train in a parody of the opening sequence of ''Film/AHardDaysNight'', espeically Vyvyan stuffing [[JabbaTableManners an entire doughnut into his mouth]] and FlippingTheBird to a random woman (who promptly starts
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Added DiffLines:
--> '''Vyvyan''': We had a front door at the old house!
--> '''Rick''': Yes, Vyvyan, but it was nailed to the ceiling in the living room!
* "NEIL! YOUR BEDROOM'S ON FIRE!"
* "DO YOU REALLY THINK ANYONE IS THE SLIGHTEST BIT INTERESTED IN ANYTHING YOU EVER SAY OR DO EVER, NEIL?!"
--> '''Rick''': Yes, Vyvyan, but it was nailed to the ceiling in the living room!
* "NEIL! YOUR BEDROOM'S ON FIRE!"
* "DO YOU REALLY THINK ANYONE IS THE SLIGHTEST BIT INTERESTED IN ANYTHING YOU EVER SAY OR DO EVER, NEIL?!"
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Changed line(s) 92 (click to see context) from:
to:
* Rick's 'mouse in a telescope'.
* Vyvyan yelling at one of his punk friends to give him a scalpel, who responds by stabbing it into Vyvyan's hand.
* Vyvyan yelling at one of his punk friends to give him a scalpel, who responds by stabbing it into Vyvyan's hand.
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Changed line(s) 126 (click to see context) from:
* The boys scrambling for the train in a parody of the opening sequence of ''Film/AHardDaysNight'', espeically Vyvyan stuffing [[JabbaTableManners an entire doughnut into his mouth]] and FlippingTheBird to a random woman (who promptly starts Corpsing), and Rick trying to steal a newspaper, only to run back to pay for it when the camera catches him doing it.
to:
* Vyvyan using a blend of "psychology and extreme violence" by tricking the washing machine into accepting the boy's dirty clothes by pretending they have "all of Felicity Kendalls' underwear!"
* The boys scrambling for the train in a parody of the opening sequence of ''Film/AHardDaysNight'', espeically Vyvyan stuffing [[JabbaTableManners an entire doughnut into his mouth]] and FlippingTheBird to a random woman (who promptly startsCorpsing), [[Corpsing]]), and Rick trying to steal a newspaper, only to run back to pay for it when the camera catches him doing it.
* The boys scrambling for the train in a parody of the opening sequence of ''Film/AHardDaysNight'', espeically Vyvyan stuffing [[JabbaTableManners an entire doughnut into his mouth]] and FlippingTheBird to a random woman (who promptly starts
Changed line(s) 163 (click to see context) from:
'''Tree Branch:''' I've got a degree in computer science.\\
to:
'''Tree Branch:''' I've got a degree in computer science.\\ That's what!\\
Changed line(s) 188 (click to see context) from:
* Rick deduces that, [[TheNarcissist as the most attractive]], he will be the vampire's first target, and tries to dissuade it:
to:
* Rick deduces that, [[TheNarcissist [[Narcissist as the most attractive]], he will be the vampire's first target, and tries to dissuade it:
Changed line(s) 190 (click to see context) from:
to:
* The boys trapping the vampire to the sofa, leading Mike to quip, "Thank goodness for Habitat sofa coffins!"
Changed line(s) 198 (click to see context) from:
'''Vyvyan:''' Missed, ''virgin!''
to:
'''Vyvyan:''' Missed, Missed me, ''virgin!''
'''Rick:''' No Vyvyan! No! You were wight and I was wrong! I ''am'' a virgin!\\
'''Vyvyan:''' Not for long, matey!\\
'''Vyvyan:''' Not for long, matey!\\
* Neil: "When you guys said 'panic', I didn't think that meant ''hang me''."
Changed line(s) 230 (click to see context) from:
* Neil: ''mumbling'' ShutupVyvyanthat'smyDadyou'retalkingto.
to:
* Neil: ''mumbling'' ShutupVyvyanthat'smyDadyou'retalkingto.Shut-up-Vyvyan-that's-my-Dad-you're-talking-to.
Added DiffLines:
** "I didn't get these from Tesco's, okay!"
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* Vyvyan hitting Rick and Neil with a cricket bat, cue Rick shouting, "Ha! [[GroinAttack Missed both my legs!]]
Changed line(s) 46 (click to see context) from:
'''Mike:''' Yeah, well that's nothing! Neil got so bored he's gone down the garden to kill himself! And it's his go!
to:
'''Mike:''' Yeah, well that's nothing! Neil got so bored he's gone down the garden to kill himself! [[AndThatsTerrible And it's his go!go!]]
* Vyvyan somehow ending up in Narnia.
Changed line(s) 111 (click to see context) from:
to:
* Vyvyan, after getting violently attacked by SPG, promptly hits him with a hammer and throws him outside. A shark then tries to eat SPG, who distracts it by asking for his autograph.
Changed line(s) 122 (click to see context) from:
* The boys scrambling for the train in a parody of the opening sequence of ''Film/AHardDaysNight'', espeically Vyvyan stuffing an entire doughnut into his mouth and FlippingTheBird to a random woman (who promptly starts Corpsing), and Rick trying to steal a newspaper, only to run back to pay for it when the camera catches him doing it.
to:
** It also doubles as a CastingGag.
* The boys scrambling for the train in a parody of the opening sequence of ''Film/AHardDaysNight'', espeically Vyvyan stuffing [[JabbaTableManners an entire doughnut into hismouth mouth]] and FlippingTheBird to a random woman (who promptly starts Corpsing), and Rick trying to steal a newspaper, only to run back to pay for it when the camera catches him doing it.
* The boys scrambling for the train in a parody of the opening sequence of ''Film/AHardDaysNight'', espeically Vyvyan stuffing [[JabbaTableManners an entire doughnut into his
'''Neil''': But you told me not to tell you the answer!\\
'''Rick''': Yes, well I only meant for a minute!\\
'''Neil''': A minute from then or a minute from now?\\
'''Rick''': Yes, well I only meant for a minute!\\
'''Neil''': A minute from then or a minute from now?\\
* Neil explaining why he thinks there is a "Poltergoost", as well as inviting Rick and Vyvyan to "squat down" (since they burnt all their chairs) to tell them the scary story.
** As well as Vyvyan explaining that "dear" sounds too much like "Will you to go bed with me?" and "love" means "come get it like a bitch funky sex machine!"
Changed line(s) 155 (click to see context) from:
'''Neil:''' Oh. Yeah, that is quite special.
to:
'''Neil:''' ''(impressed)'' Oh. Yeah, that is quite special.
Changed line(s) 162 (click to see context) from:
to:
* Vyvyan eating ketchup with caviar and Rick trying to smoke several cigars at once.
** Especially when Neil asks him, and Vyvyan responds by smashing Neil's head through the window. Neil then complains, "I don't understand! Does that mean we have one or not?"
Changed line(s) 177 (click to see context) from:
* Rick deduces that, as the most attractive, he will be the vampire's first target, and tries to dissuade it:
to:
* Rick deduces that, [[TheNarcissist as the most attractive, attractive]], he will be the vampire's first target, and tries to dissuade it:
* Rick's DoubleTake at seeing Helen in his bed.
Changed line(s) 214 (click to see context) from:
'''Neil''': LiteralMinded No, no, I bought it!
to:
'''Neil''': LiteralMinded No, no, I bought it!
Added DiffLines:
* Neil: ''mumbling'' ShutupVyvyanthat'smyDadyou'retalkingto.
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Changed line(s) 214 (click to see context) from:
> '''Neil''': LiteralMinded No, no, I bought it!
to:
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
Fixing spelling, grammar, capitalisation, punctuation, indentation, and formatting.
Changed line(s) 82,83 (click to see context) from:
* "Neil, what are you doing?" "I'm painting myself white to deflect the blast."
to:
* "Neil, Neil prepares for the explosion of the bomb by reading the "incredibly helpful and informative ''Protect and Survive'' manual" and building a shelter under the kitchen table.
-->'''Rick:''' ''(finding Neil painting himself white with a paintbrush)'' Neil, what are youdoing?" "I'm doing?\\
'''Neil:''' Oh, painting myself white to deflect the blast."
\\
'''Rick:''' That's great, isn't it? Racial discrimination, even in death? ''(indicates a few small paper bags on the table)'' What are these?\\
'''Neil:''' Oh, sandbags.
-->'''Rick:''' ''(finding Neil painting himself white with a paintbrush)'' Neil, what are you
'''Neil:''' Oh, painting myself white to deflect the blast.
'''Rick:''' That's great, isn't it? Racial discrimination, even in death? ''(indicates a few small paper bags on the table)'' What are these?\\
'''Neil:''' Oh, sandbags.
Changed line(s) 96,98 (click to see context) from:
* Neil: "Wouldn't it be terrible if we all had to eat each other? You know, like that film, We All Ended Up Having To Eat Each Other."
* '''Rick''': "Don't come in here, Mr. Balowski! [[BlatantLies We're all holograms!"]]
* '''Rick''': "Don't come in here, Mr. Balowski! [[BlatantLies We're all holograms!"]]
to:
* Neil: "Wouldn't The radio interview between a blind DJ and a punk musician who has amputated her arms to improve her image ends prematurely as the floodwaters begin pouring out of the A/C vent. Cut to the lads' house, and water is pouring out of the speaker on their radio as Rick turns it off.
* As the water rises higher and higher, Neil considers a possible worst-case scenario:
-->'''Neil:''' Hey, wouldn't it be terrible if weall had ended up having to eat each other? You know, like Like those sailors did in that film, We All erm... ''We Ended Up Having To Eat Each Other."
Other''.
*'''Rick''': "Don't The lads, getting ever hungrier, decide to draw straws to see who is the first to be eaten. Neil draws the short straw... or so he assumes, as the others don't show him theirs. Mike and Rick hold Neil down on his bed as Vyvyan fires up a hedge-trimmer...
-->'''Mike:''' ''(frantic)'' Hold it! Hold it! HOLD IT! ''(Vyvyan turns off the hedge-trimmer)'' Hold it like that. ''(motions with his hands)'' Then you get a nice clean cut, and there's no mess. ''(Vyvyan shifts his hands and fires up the trimmer again)''\\
'''Neil:''' ''(sitting up)'' Vyvyan! Vyvyan, could I have an anaesthetic?\\
'''Vyvyan:''' 'Course you can! ''(grabs a hammer and hits Neil over the head; he only passes out for a second)''\\
'''Neil:''' Oh no, wait, wait, wait, wait! Er... er, look, er, Mike, er, is there time for a last cigarette?\\
'''Mike:''' I don't see why not, yeah. ''(takes a cigarette from behind his ear and puts it in his own mouth; Rick lights it, and then Mike takes a drag from the cigarette, throws it to the floor, and steps on it)'' All right.
* When the axe-wielding Jerzi catches up with them, Rick panics:
-->'''Rick''': Don't come in here, Mr. Balowski! [[BlatantLies We're allholograms!"]]
holograms!]]
* As the water rises higher and higher, Neil considers a possible worst-case scenario:
-->'''Neil:''' Hey, wouldn't it be terrible if we
*
-->'''Mike:''' ''(frantic)'' Hold it! Hold it! HOLD IT! ''(Vyvyan turns off the hedge-trimmer)'' Hold it like that. ''(motions with his hands)'' Then you get a nice clean cut, and there's no mess. ''(Vyvyan shifts his hands and fires up the trimmer again)''\\
'''Neil:''' ''(sitting up)'' Vyvyan! Vyvyan, could I have an anaesthetic?\\
'''Vyvyan:''' 'Course you can! ''(grabs a hammer and hits Neil over the head; he only passes out for a second)''\\
'''Neil:''' Oh no, wait, wait, wait, wait! Er... er, look, er, Mike, er, is there time for a last cigarette?\\
'''Mike:''' I don't see why not, yeah. ''(takes a cigarette from behind his ear and puts it in his own mouth; Rick lights it, and then Mike takes a drag from the cigarette, throws it to the floor, and steps on it)'' All right.
* When the axe-wielding Jerzi catches up with them, Rick panics:
-->'''Rick''': Don't come in here, Mr. Balowski! [[BlatantLies We're all
Changed line(s) 109 (click to see context) from:
* The boys scrambling for the train; Espeically Vyvyan stuffing an entire doughnut into his mouth and [[FlippingTheBird]] to a random women (who promptly starts Corpsing), and Rick trying to steal a newspaper, only to run back to pay for it when the camera catches him doing it.
to:
* The boys scrambling for the train; Espeically train in a parody of the opening sequence of ''Film/AHardDaysNight'', espeically Vyvyan stuffing an entire doughnut into his mouth and [[FlippingTheBird]] FlippingTheBird to a random women woman (who promptly starts Corpsing), and Rick trying to steal a newspaper, only to run back to pay for it when the camera catches him doing it.
Changed line(s) 111,115 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Neil''': ''sulkily'': Alright, Rick, but verbatim regurgitation is against my principals.
-->'''Rick''': I'm asking you to ''read'' it, not throw up on it!
''(Later)''
-->'''Rick''': Just shut up and tell me the answer!
-->'''Neil''': Shut up ''and'' tell you the answer?
-->'''Rick''': I'm asking you to ''read'' it, not throw up on it!
''(Later)''
-->'''Rick''': Just shut up and tell me the answer!
-->'''Neil''': Shut up ''and'' tell you the answer?
to:
-->'''Neil''': ''sulkily'': ''(sulkily)'' Alright, Rick, but verbatim regurgitation is against my principals.
-->'''Rick''':principles.\\
'''Rick''': I'm asking you to ''read'' it, not throw up onit!
''(Later)''
-->'''Rick''':it!\\
''(Later)''\\
'''Rick''': Just shut up and tell me theanswer!
-->'''Neil''':answer!\\
'''Neil''': Shut up ''and'' tell you the answer?
-->'''Rick''':
'''Rick''': I'm asking you to ''read'' it, not throw up on
''(Later)''
-->'''Rick''':
''(Later)''\\
'''Rick''': Just shut up and tell me the
-->'''Neil''':
'''Neil''': Shut up ''and'' tell you the answer?
* Miss Money-Sterling (Emma Thompson) answers a question asking about a chemical formula:
-->'''Miss Money-Sterling:''' I've got a Porsche! ''(giggle)''\\
'''Bambi:''' Yes, well, that's not exactly what I've got written on the card, but I knew your father, so Footlights leads by 25 points.\\
'''Miss Money-Sterling:''' Daddy sends hugs! ''(giggle)''
-->'''Miss Money-Sterling:''' I've got a Porsche! ''(giggle)''\\
'''Bambi:''' Yes, well, that's not exactly what I've got written on the card, but I knew your father, so Footlights leads by 25 points.\\
'''Miss Money-Sterling:''' Daddy sends hugs! ''(giggle)''
Changed line(s) 123,124 (click to see context) from:
* "I've got a porche!" *giggle*
to:
Changed line(s) 134,138 (click to see context) from:
* Watch out for the special branch!
** I don't see what's so special about that.
*** It has a degree in computer science.
** His first assignment is to bust a wild party held by some of his fellow hippies. He starts by knocking at the door and shouting "Open up, it's the pigs!" The other hippies assume he has come as a guest and shrug off his claim that he has come to arrest them, until one of them discovers Neil's police radio:
--->'''Warlock:''' ''[into radio]'' Hello Earth, can you read me? This is Starship Captain Warlock from the planet Freakout, broadcasting to you on the interlectrogalactic airwaves! Can you read me, Earth?\\
** I don't see what's so special about that.
*** It has a degree in computer science.
** His first assignment is to bust a wild party held by some of his fellow hippies. He starts by knocking at the door and shouting "Open up, it's the pigs!" The other hippies assume he has come as a guest and shrug off his claim that he has come to arrest them, until one of them discovers Neil's police radio:
--->'''Warlock:''' ''[into radio]'' Hello Earth, can you read me? This is Starship Captain Warlock from the planet Freakout, broadcasting to you on the interlectrogalactic airwaves! Can you read me, Earth?\\
to:
* Watch Neil is sent on his way as a policeman:
-->'''Mussolini:''' As you go out, watch out for thespecial branch!
**Special Branch.\\
''(Neil exits the station and hits his head on a tree branch; he looks back at it)''\\
'''Neil:''' I don't see what's so special aboutthat.
*** It hasthat.\\
'''Tree Branch:''' I've got a degree in computerscience.
**science.\\
'''Neil:''' Oh. Yeah, that is quite special.
* His first assignment is to bust a wild party held by some of his fellow hippies. He starts by knocking at the door and shouting "Open up, it's the pigs!" The other hippies assume he has come as a guest and shrug off his claim that he has come to arrest them, until one of them discovers Neil's police radio:
--->'''Warlock:''' -->'''Warlock:''' ''[into radio]'' Hello Earth, can you read me? This is Starship Captain Warlock from the planet Freakout, broadcasting to you on the interlectrogalactic airwaves! Can you read me, Earth?\\
-->'''Mussolini:''' As you go out, watch out for the
**
''(Neil exits the station and hits his head on a tree branch; he looks back at it)''\\
'''Neil:''' I don't see what's so special about
*** It has
'''Tree Branch:''' I've got a degree in computer
**
'''Neil:''' Oh. Yeah, that is quite special.
* His first assignment is to bust a wild party held by some of his fellow hippies. He starts by knocking at the door and shouting "Open up, it's the pigs!" The other hippies assume he has come as a guest and shrug off his claim that he has come to arrest them, until one of them discovers Neil's police radio:
Changed line(s) 158,159 (click to see context) from:
* "Mr. Vampire! Don't bite me, I'm howwid, I'm ''covered'' in acne! Eat Neil, he's stwawbewwy flavoured!"
to:
* "Mr. Rick deduces that, as the most attractive, he will be the vampire's first target, and tries to dissuade it:
-->'''Rick:''' Mr. Vampire! Don't bite me, I'm howwid, I'm ''covered'' in acne! Eat Neil, he's stwawbewwyflavoured!"
flavoured!
-->'''Rick:''' Mr. Vampire! Don't bite me, I'm howwid, I'm ''covered'' in acne! Eat Neil, he's stwawbewwy
Changed line(s) 192,193 (click to see context) from:
* --> '''Neil's Mother''': Neil, did you make your bed?
--> '''Neil''': [[LiteralMinded No, no, I bought it!]]
--> '''Neil''': [[LiteralMinded No, no, I bought it!]]
to:
* A moment of {{Literal Minded}}ness from Neil:
--> '''Neil's Mother''': Neil, did you make yourbed?
-->bed?\\
> '''Neil''':[[LiteralMinded LiteralMinded No, no, I bought it!]]it!
--> '''Neil's Mother''': Neil, did you make your
-->
> '''Neil''':
Changed line(s) 197,198 (click to see context) from:
* "Cor, that looks just like a negative reality inversion!"
* '''Vyvyan''': RICK! WILL YOU TELL YOUR CONSCIENCE TO KEEP HIS VOICE DOWN! I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP!"
* '''Vyvyan''': RICK! WILL YOU TELL YOUR CONSCIENCE TO KEEP HIS VOICE DOWN! I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP!"
to:
* "Cor, that looks just like a negative reality inversion!"
* '''Vyvyan''':Rick argues with his conscience after believing himself to have accidentally killed Neil:
-->'''Vyvyan''': RICK! WILL YOU TELL YOUR CONSCIENCE TO KEEP HIS VOICE DOWN! I'M TRYING TO GET SOMESLEEP!"SLEEP!
* Neil, however, was only stunned... and, having been knocked out in the lads' vegetable garden, he has been the seed for a whole crop of Neils.
-->'''Neil:''' ''(as a second Neil sits up next to him)'' Anybody watching this must have thought that was a negative reality inversion.\\
''(cut to a nearby bush where a couple are kissing; they look over at the garden)''\\
'''Woman:''' Cor, that looked just like a negative reality inversion, didn't it?\\
'''Man:''' Yes, it did a bit.
* '''Vyvyan''':
-->'''Vyvyan''': RICK! WILL YOU TELL YOUR CONSCIENCE TO KEEP HIS VOICE DOWN! I'M TRYING TO GET SOME
* Neil, however, was only stunned... and, having been knocked out in the lads' vegetable garden, he has been the seed for a whole crop of Neils.
-->'''Neil:''' ''(as a second Neil sits up next to him)'' Anybody watching this must have thought that was a negative reality inversion.\\
''(cut to a nearby bush where a couple are kissing; they look over at the garden)''\\
'''Woman:''' Cor, that looked just like a negative reality inversion, didn't it?\\
'''Man:''' Yes, it did a bit.
* When Mike gives the boys ladies' tights to put over their heads:
-->'''Rick''': Ugh! I'm not putting my head where some horrible girl's bottom has been!\\
'''Vyvyan''': ''({{beat}})'' [[AllMenArePerverts I will!]]
-->'''Rick''': Ugh! I'm not putting my head where some horrible girl's bottom has been!\\
'''Vyvyan''': ''({{beat}})'' [[AllMenArePerverts I will!]]
Deleted line(s) 204,206 (click to see context) :
* When Mike gives the boys' ladies tights to put over their heads:
--> '''Rick''': Ugh! I'm not putting my head where some horrible girl's bottom has been!"
--> '''Vyvyan''': ''*beat*'' [[AllMenArePerverts I will!]]
--> '''Rick''': Ugh! I'm not putting my head where some horrible girl's bottom has been!"
--> '''Vyvyan''': ''*beat*'' [[AllMenArePerverts I will!]]
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* --> '''Neil's Mother''': Neil, did you make your bed?
--> '''Neil''': [[LiteralMinded No, no, I bought it!]]
--> '''Neil''': [[LiteralMinded No, no, I bought it!]]
Changed line(s) 195 (click to see context) from:
to:
* "Cor, that looks just like a negative reality inversion!"
* '''Vyvyan''': RICK! WILL YOU TELL YOUR CONSCIENCE TO KEEP HIS VOICE DOWN! I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP!"
* Rick's MyGodWhatHaveIDone moment, expressed as only Rick can; "Oh Neil, Neil! Owange Peel! If only I could see you again!"
* '''Vyvyan''': RICK! WILL YOU TELL YOUR CONSCIENCE TO KEEP HIS VOICE DOWN! I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP!"
* Rick's MyGodWhatHaveIDone moment, expressed as only Rick can; "Oh Neil, Neil! Owange Peel! If only I could see you again!"
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Changed line(s) 86,87 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Rick''': That's just [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight ''typical''!]] Five minutes to go before the most important party of my life, and half the house is destroyed by a giant sandwich!
to:
-->'''Rick''': That's just [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight ''typical''!]] typical!]] Five minutes to go before the most important party of my life, and half the house is destroyed by a giant sandwich!
Changed line(s) 97 (click to see context) from:
to:
* '''Rick''': "Don't come in here, Mr. Balowski! [[BlatantLies We're all holograms!"]]
Changed line(s) 110,111 (click to see context) from:
'''Neil''': ''sulkily'': Alright, Rick, but verbatim regurgitation is against my principals.
'''Rick''': I'm asking you to ''read'' it, not throw up on it!
'''Rick''': I'm asking you to ''read'' it, not throw up on it!
to:
Changed line(s) 113,114 (click to see context) from:
'''Rick''': Just shut up and tell me the answer!
'''Neil''': Shut up ''and'' tell you the answer?
'''Neil''': Shut up ''and'' tell you the answer?
to:
Changed line(s) 157 (click to see context) from:
to:
* "Mr. Vampire! Don't bite me, I'm howwid, I'm ''covered'' in acne! Eat Neil, he's stwawbewwy flavoured!"
Added DiffLines:
* When Mike gives the boys' ladies tights to put over their heads:
--> '''Rick''': Ugh! I'm not putting my head where some horrible girl's bottom has been!"
--> '''Vyvyan''': ''*beat*'' [[AllMenArePerverts I will!]]
--> '''Rick''': Ugh! I'm not putting my head where some horrible girl's bottom has been!"
--> '''Vyvyan''': ''*beat*'' [[AllMenArePerverts I will!]]
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Changed line(s) 5 (click to see context) from:
to:
* Random inanimate objects coming to life for no reason.
Changed line(s) 15,16 (click to see context) from:
* "Some of these bricks explode!"
to:
* "Some of these bricks explode!"
explode! ''Brilliant!''"
** To which Rick retorts, "Well, ''someone's'' got to, Vyvyan!"
Changed line(s) 84,85 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Rick''': That's just ''typical''! Five minutes to go before the most important party of my life, and half the house is destroyed by a giant sandwich!
to:
-->'''Rick''': That's just ''typical''! [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight ''typical''!]] Five minutes to go before the most important party of my life, and half the house is destroyed by a giant sandwich!
Changed line(s) 94 (click to see context) from:
to:
* Neil: "Wouldn't it be terrible if we all had to eat each other? You know, like that film, We All Ended Up Having To Eat Each Other."
* The boys scrambling for the train; Espeically Vyvyan stuffing an entire doughnut into his mouth and [[FlippingTheBird]] to a random women (who promptly starts Corpsing), and Rick trying to steal a newspaper, only to run back to pay for it when the camera catches him doing it.
* Rick and Neil's argument on the train:
'''Neil''': ''sulkily'': Alright, Rick, but verbatim regurgitation is against my principals.
'''Rick''': I'm asking you to ''read'' it, not throw up on it!
''(Later)''
'''Rick''': Just shut up and tell me the answer!
'''Neil''': Shut up ''and'' tell you the answer?
* Rick and Neil's argument on the train:
'''Neil''': ''sulkily'': Alright, Rick, but verbatim regurgitation is against my principals.
'''Rick''': I'm asking you to ''read'' it, not throw up on it!
''(Later)''
'''Rick''': Just shut up and tell me the answer!
'''Neil''': Shut up ''and'' tell you the answer?
Changed line(s) 112 (click to see context) from:
to:
* "I've got a porche!" *giggle*
* Watch out for the special branch!
** I don't see what's so special about that.
*** It has a degree in computer science.
** I don't see what's so special about that.
*** It has a degree in computer science.
Changed line(s) 142 (click to see context) from:
to:
* Mike, upon learning they have a vampire trapped in the bathroom, comments, "This is actually very serious!" Mike, Rick and Neil all stare right at the camera...then Vyvyan dives past it in the background.
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Changed line(s) 120 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Neil:''' I only said I was a pacifist!
to:
-->'''Neil:''' I only said I was a pacifist!pacifist![[note]]Vyv's hamster had explicitly told him ''not'' to say this.[[/note]]
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Re-arranging the moments in the order in which they happen in the various episodes.
Changed line(s) 4,6 (click to see context) from:
* The fact that Vyvyan is a ''medical student''.
** Better yet, the fact that we meet his classmates during the party episode, and they're ''all'' punks like him.
** Better yet, the fact that we meet his classmates during the party episode, and they're ''all'' punks like him.
to:
* The fact that Vyvyan is a ''medical student''.
**student''. Better yet, the fact that we meet his classmates during the party episode, "Interesting", and they're ''all'' punks like him.
**
* Vyvyan's first entrance is priceless - he smashes through the kitchen wall carrying a severed leg as the other three are eating dinner. Rick shouts, "Vyvyan, you might have washed your hands!", prompting Vyv to walk over to the kitchen sink, kick it so that it falls of the wall, and wash his hands in the water flowing through where the tap used to be.
Changed line(s) 10 (click to see context) from:
* Vyvyan's first entrance is priceless - he smashes through the kitchen wall carrying a severed leg as the other three are eating dinner. Rick shouts, "Vyvyan, you might have washed your hands!", prompting Vyv to walk over to the kitchen sink, kick it so that it falls of the wall, and wash his hands in the water flowing through where the tap used to be.
to:
* Vyvyan's first entrance is priceless - he smashes through Mike opens the kitchen wall carrying a severed leg as the ''TV Times'' and loads of random fruit and other three are eating dinner. Rick shouts, "Vyvyan, you might have washed your hands!", prompting Vyv to walk over to objects just fall out onto his lap. He then looks at the kitchen sink, kick it so that it falls of the wall, camera, and wash his hands says, "I never knew there was so much in the water flowing through where the tap used to be.it!"
Changed line(s) 16,17 (click to see context) from:
* Mike opening the TV Times and loads of random fruit and other objects just falling out onto his lap. He then looks at the camera, and goes "I never knew there was so much in it!"
to:
Deleted line(s) 19,20 (click to see context) :
* Neil accidentally stabs Vyvyan in the head with a pick. Vyvyan then stands up and says in a [[DissonantSerenity completely calm and polite voice]] "That's okay Neil. It was bound to happen sooner or later."
* The whole thing being due to Vyvyan lying about striking oil.
* The whole thing being due to Vyvyan lying about striking oil.
Changed line(s) 25 (click to see context) from:
to:
* Neil accidentally stabs Vyvyan in the head with a pick. Vyvyan then stands up and says in a [[DissonantSerenity completely calm and polite voice]] "That's okay Neil. It was bound to happen sooner or later."
* The whole thing being due to Vyvyan lying about striking oil.
* The whole thing being due to Vyvyan lying about striking oil.
Changed line(s) 68,69 (click to see context) from:
* Alexei Sayle's monologue at the end of the scene with Billy Bolowski. "I ain't always been mad, ya know, I was actually driven mad by the indifference of council planners and architechts..."
to:
* Alexei Sayle's monologue at the end of the scene with Billy Bolowski. "I ain't always been mad, ya know, I was actually driven mad by the indifference of council planners and architechts...architects..."
Changed line(s) 88,89 (click to see context) from:
* Vyvyan's secret potion. "It's basically a cure...for not bein' an axe-wieldin' homicidal maniac!"
** And later on, Jerzi Bolowski ends up drinking it and turning into an axe-weilding homocidal maniac of course.
** And later on, Jerzi Bolowski ends up drinking it and turning into an axe-weilding homocidal maniac of course.
to:
* Vyvyan's secret potion.potion, stored in a can of Coca-Cola. "It's basically a cure...for not bein' an axe-wieldin' homicidal maniac!"
** And later on, Jerzi Bolowski ends up drinking it and turning into an axe-weildinghomocidal homicidal maniac of course.course.
--->'''Jerzi:''' Ah! Coca-Cola! Symbol of free West! ''[begins drinking it]''
** And later on, Jerzi Bolowski ends up drinking it and turning into an axe-weilding
--->'''Jerzi:''' Ah! Coca-Cola! Symbol of free West! ''[begins drinking it]''
* Vyv accidentally beheading himself after wondering aloud why there is a sign on the train warning passengers not to stick their heads out of the window, then chasing his head down the train tracks, accidentally kicking it all the way.
* A frustrated Vyvyan kills the Footlights College, Oxbridge team with a German Stick Grenade.
Changed line(s) 110,112 (click to see context) from:
** And, Prior to that, they killed the opposing team with a German Stick Grenade.
* Vyv accidentally beheading himself, then chasing his head down the train tracks, accidentally kicking it all the way.
* Vyv accidentally beheading himself, then chasing his head down the train tracks, accidentally kicking it all the way.
to:
* Vyv accidentally beheading himself, then chasing his head down the train tracks, accidentally kicking it all the way.
* The very start of the episode, where Neil puts some plates out on the table, having taken them out of the cupboard. He goes to get some cutlery, and when he turns round the plates are gone. When he turns back around the entire cupboard is gone!
Changed line(s) 127,128 (click to see context) from:
* The very start of the episode, where Neil puts some plates out on the table, having taken them out of the cupboard. He goes to get some cutlery, and when he turns round the plates are gone. When he turns back around the entire cupboard is gone!
to:
* [[RunningGag "Oh! Have we got a video?"]]
-->'''Vyvyan:''' ''[growing increasingly irritated each time he's asked this]'' Yes! We've got a video!
-->'''Vyvyan:''' ''[growing increasingly irritated each time he's asked this]'' Yes! We've got a video!
* Neil has just had a bath and is covering his crotch area with a flower pot. When Rick annoys Neil and Vyv eggs Neil on to the point where Neil is about to attack Rick, he holds a frying pan and lifts it up with both of his hands. Then Rick questions how the flowerpot is staying up.
Changed line(s) 139,142 (click to see context) from:
* "Oh! Have we got a video?"
-->'''Vyvyan:''' ''[growing increasingly irritated each time he's asked this]'' Yes! We've got a video!
* Neil has just had a bath and is covering his crotch area with a flower pot. When Rick annoys Neil and Vyv eggs Neil on to the point where Neil is about to attack Rick, he holds a frying pan and lifts it up with both of his hands. Then Rick questions how the flowerpot is staying up.
-->'''Vyvyan:''' ''[growing increasingly irritated each time he's asked this]'' Yes! We've got a video!
* Neil has just had a bath and is covering his crotch area with a flower pot. When Rick annoys Neil and Vyv eggs Neil on to the point where Neil is about to attack Rick, he holds a frying pan and lifts it up with both of his hands. Then Rick questions how the flowerpot is staying up.
to:
-->'''Vyvyan:''' ''[growing increasingly irritated each time he's asked this]'' Yes! We've got a video!
* Neil has just had a bath and is covering his crotch area with a flower pot. When Rick annoys Neil and Vyv eggs Neil on to the point where Neil is about to attack Rick, he holds a frying pan and lifts it up with both of his hands. Then Rick questions how the flowerpot is staying up.
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Changed line(s) 111 (click to see context) from:
to:
* Vyv accidentally beheading himself, then chasing his head down the train tracks, accidentally kicking it all the way.
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Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
to:
* Mike opening the TV Times and loads of random fruit and other objects just falling out onto his lap. He then looks at the camera, and goes "I never knew there was so much in it!"
Changed line(s) 67 (click to see context) from:
to:
* Alexei Sayle's monologue at the end of the scene with Billy Bolowski. "I ain't always been mad, ya know, I was actually driven mad by the indifference of council planners and architechts..."
Changed line(s) 79 (click to see context) from:
to:
* "Neil, what are you doing?" "I'm painting myself white to deflect the blast."
** And later on, Jerzi Bolowski ends up drinking it and turning into an axe-weilding homocidal maniac of course.
Changed line(s) 122 (click to see context) from:
to:
* The very start of the episode, where Neil puts some plates out on the table, having taken them out of the cupboard. He goes to get some cutlery, and when he turns round the plates are gone. When he turns back around the entire cupboard is gone!
Changed line(s) 135 (click to see context) from:
to:
* Neil has just had a bath and is covering his crotch area with a flower pot. When Rick annoys Neil and Vyv eggs Neil on to the point where Neil is about to attack Rick, he holds a frying pan and lifts it up with both of his hands. Then Rick questions how the flowerpot is staying up.
Added DiffLines:
[[AC:"Summer Holiday"]]
* The cricket game, where Vyv throws the ball to Mike, who swings and hits Neil in the face, and then again when Vyv never throws the ball and just bonks Rick on the head with it.
* The clueless bank robbery by the lads, which ends up working as Rick inadvertedly foils a real robbery and gets the money using a water pistol.
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Changed line(s) 110 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Neil:''' "Darling[[hottip:*: Vyv's suggested replacement for "Dear"]] Fascist bully boy:[[hottip:*: Rick's preferred term for "Bank manager"]] Give me some more money,[[hottip:*: Mike's recommendation for requesting an extension on his overdraft]] you bastard.[[hottip:*: Vyv's idea, on the assumption that bank managers respect strength]] May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman,[[hottip:*: The translation of "Boom shanka", Neil's suggestion after Vyv overrules "Love" and Rick vetoes "Yours sincerely"]] Neil."
to:
-->'''Neil:''' "Darling[[hottip:*: "Darling[[note]] Vyv's suggested replacement for "Dear"]] "Dear"[[/note]] Fascist bully boy:[[hottip:*: boy:[[note]] Rick's preferred term for "Bank manager"]] manager"[[/note]] Give me some more money,[[hottip:*: money,[[note]] Mike's recommendation for requesting an extension on his overdraft]] overdraft[[/note]] you bastard.[[hottip:*: [[note]] Vyv's idea, on the assumption that bank managers respect strength]] strength[[/note]] May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman,[[hottip:*: woman,[[note]] The translation of "Boom shanka", Neil's suggestion after Vyv overrules "Love" and Rick vetoes "Yours sincerely"]] sincerely"[[/note]] Neil."
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More detail on University Challenge Sequence
Changed line(s) 106 (click to see context) from:
to:
** And, Prior to that, they killed the opposing team with a German Stick Grenade.
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Changed line(s) 69,71 (click to see context) from:
* The lentils scene. Neil is reluctant to move the huge pile of "teetering crockery" in front of the lentils, so he asks Vyvyan to break into the cupboards from behind by gouging out the wall with a crowbar. When they finally succeed in breaking through to the lentils, the box breaks and spills lentils everywhere, so Neil asks Vyvyan to get a bowl to catch them in. Vyvyan goes into the kitchen and opens the cupboard... causing the pile of crockery to fall out and smash, just as Neil feared.
* After the lentils are lost, Neil suggests cornflakes as an alternative. Vyvyan's response? "Cornflakes for breakfast? That's disgusting, Neil!"
* Rick getting his anarchist credentials by not paying his TV licence. To which Vyvyan replies,"What are you going to do Rick, burn your bra?"
* After the lentils are lost, Neil suggests cornflakes as an alternative. Vyvyan's response? "Cornflakes for breakfast? That's disgusting, Neil!"
* Rick getting his anarchist credentials by not paying his TV licence. To which Vyvyan replies,"What are you going to do Rick, burn your bra?"
to:
* The lentils scene. Neil is reluctant to move the huge pile of "teetering crockery" in front of the lentils, so he asks Vyvyan to break into the cupboards from behind by gouging out the wall with a crowbar. When It takes several holes before they finally succeed in breaking break through to the lentils, only for the box breaks to break and spills spill lentils everywhere, so everywhere. Neil asks Vyvyan to get a bowl to catch them in.in, and calls him back for a moment to ask if he could hurry. Vyvyan goes into the kitchen and opens the cupboard... causing the pile of crockery to fall out and smash, just as Neil feared.
* Afterfeared. He then passes a bowl through the hole in the back of the cupboard.
* Neil only succeeds in catching two or three lentilsare lost, Neil in the bowl, and suggests cornflakes as an alternative. Vyvyan's response? "Cornflakes alternative.
-->'''Vyvyan:''' Cornflakes for breakfast? That's disgusting,Neil!"
Neil!
* Rick getting his anarchist credentials by not paying his TV licence. To which Vyvyanreplies,"What replies, "What are you going to do Rick, burn your bra?"
* After
* Neil only succeeds in catching two or three lentils
-->'''Vyvyan:''' Cornflakes for breakfast? That's disgusting,
* Rick getting his anarchist credentials by not paying his TV licence. To which Vyvyan
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Changed line(s) 111 (click to see context) from:
* After Rick claims to have a perforated ear drum, Mike claims to have flat feet, and Vyvyan claims to be pregnant, Neil is nominated to join the Army. He is dressed in one of Mike's suits (which is several sizes too small) and has his hair cut (on one side only - made additionally funny because it's exactly the haircut that Neil Oakey from The Human League sported at the time), then he is literally thrown into the recruitment office... and immediately thrown out again.
to:
* After Rick claims to have a perforated ear drum, Mike claims to have flat feet, and Vyvyan claims to be pregnant, Neil is nominated to join the Army. He is dressed in one of Mike's suits (which is several sizes too small) and has his hair cut (on one side only - made additionally funny because it's exactly the haircut that Neil Phil Oakey from The Human League sported at the time), then he is literally thrown into the recruitment office... and immediately thrown out again.
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Changed line(s) 111 (click to see context) from:
* After Rick claims to have a perforated ear drum, Mike claims to have flat feet, and Vyvyan claims to be pregnant, Neil is nominated to join the Army. He is dressed in one of Mike's suits (which is several sizes too small) and has his hair cut (on one side only), then he is literally thrown into the recruitment office... and immediately thrown out again.
to:
* After Rick claims to have a perforated ear drum, Mike claims to have flat feet, and Vyvyan claims to be pregnant, Neil is nominated to join the Army. He is dressed in one of Mike's suits (which is several sizes too small) and has his hair cut (on one side only), only - made additionally funny because it's exactly the haircut that Neil Oakey from The Human League sported at the time), then he is literally thrown into the recruitment office... and immediately thrown out again.
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Changed line(s) 1 (click to see context) from:
''TheYoungOnes'' is viewed by many as perhaps one of the greatest, if not ''the'' greatest, sitcoms of all time, and here are just some examples of why:
to:
Added line(s) 5 (click to see context) :
[[AC:General]]
Changed line(s) 5 (click to see context) from:
* From "Demolition", Neil has outlined his plans to hang himself on a gallows that lights joss sticks and plays "Rock Around the Clock" when the trapdoor opens... except that the trapdoor is only a few inches above the floor, so that he doesn't fall far enough to pull the rope taut.
to:
[[AC:"Demolition"]]
*
Changed line(s) 7,69 (click to see context) from:
** Vyvyan's first entrance is priceless - he smashes through the kitchen wall carrying a severed leg as the other three are eating dinner. Rick shouts, "Vyvyan, you might have washed your hands!", prompting Vyv to walk over to the kitchen sink, kick it so that it falls of the wall, and wash his hands in the water flowing through where the tap used to be.
** Later in the episode, Vyvyan is carrying out his brilliant plan to destroy the house before the Council can demolish it for being a health hazard. This includes kicking a hole in the toilet bowl while Neil is sitting on it.
--->'''Neil:''' Wet feet. Nice one, Vyv.
--->'''Vyvyan:''' ''[opening bathroom door]'' I thought you were dead!
--->'''Neil:''' Well, that's no reason to hassle me on the toilet!
** "Some of these bricks explode!"
* In "Oil", Neil accidentally stabs Vyvyan in the head with a pick. Vyvyan then stands up and says in a [[DissonantSerenity completely calm and polite voice]] "That's okay Neil. It was bound to happen sooner or later."
** The whole thing being due to Vyvyan lying about striking oil.
** When Mike tells Rick he can't go into his own bedroom:
--->'''Rick:''' Have you turned my bedroom into some kind of roller disco? ''[walks past Mike into his bedroom]''
--->'''Mike:''' That's uncanny!
--->''[cut to Rick's room, which is now... a roller disco]''
* The Monopoly game in "Boring".
-->''[Mike rolls the dice and moves his token]''
-->'''Rick:''' Ha ha, Mike! Landed on the Old Kent Road, that's mine! Rent, come on, pay up, now!
-->'''Mike:''' ''[counting out the money]'' Yeah, all right, all right, I think the Mike Exchequer can handle a debt of ''four pounds''.
-->''[Vyvyan rolls the dice and moves his token to a Community Chest space as Rick grabs the money from Mike]''
-->'''Rick:''' Hey, wouldn't it be ''a-maz-ing'' if all this money was real?
-->'''Vyvyan:''' That is the single most predictable and ''boring'' thing that ''anybody'' could ''ever'' say whilst playing Monopoly!
-->'''Rick:''' Well, what about "Vyvyan"? I could say "Vyvyan", couldn't I, that'd be pretty boring!
-->'''Vyvyan:''' ''[taking Community Chest card]'' Ah. "You have won second prize in a beauty contest." ''[Rick laughs derisively and picks up the dice]'' "Smash Rick over the head with the bank."
-->''[confused, Rick puts the dice down and reaches for the card as Vyvyan smashes him over the head with the bank]''
-->'''Rick:''' Waagh! It did not say that! Michael, Vyvyan is cheating!
-->'''Vyvyan:''' Mike? ''[hands Mike the card]''
-->'''Mike:''' No, he's right, Rick, that's exactly what it says.
-->'''Rick:''' In ''biro'', Mike, in ''biro'', over the top of the print!
-->'''Vyvyan:''' But we had to change the rules because Monopoly's so ''boring!''
-->'''Rick:''' ''[picking up another card]'' "Congratulations, it is your birthday, you may set fire to Rick's bed!"
-->'''Vyvyan:''' ''[proudly]'' Good one!
-->'''Rick:''' ''[picking up another card]'' "Get out of jail free. You may keep this card, sell it, or stick it up Rick's bottom!" ''Vyvyan, you've ruined the game!''
-->'''Vyvyan:''' '''''I was bored!!'''''
-->'''Mike:''' Yeah, well that's nothing! Neil got so bored he's gone down the garden to kill himself! And it's his go!
** The Bolowski of the Week (clinically insane Billy Bolowski) knocks at the lads' front door, but no-one can be bothered to answer it:
--->'''Mike:''' There's someone at the door, Rick.
--->'''Rick:''' Someone at the door, Vyvyan.
--->'''Vyvyan:''' There's someone at the door, Neil.
--->'''Neil:''' There's someone at the door, Mike.
--->'''Mike:''' I know! ''[more knocking, louder this time]'' There's ''someone'' at the ''door'', Rick!
--->'''Rick:''' There's ''someone'' at the ''door'', Vyvyan!
--->'''Vyvyan:''' There's ''someone'' at the ''door'', Mike!
--->'''Neil:''' There's ''someone'' at the ''door''... Neil...
--->'''Mike:''' Well don't look at me, I'm in Paris.
--->'''Vyvyan:''' You haven't left the house all day!
--->'''Mike:''' Vyvyan, you ever heard of cloning?
--->'''Vyvyan:''' ''[thinks for a moment]'' No!
--->'''Mike:''' Oh, that's good! Would you swear to that?
--->'''Vyvyan:''' Certainly, if that's what you want! ''[jumps over the back of the sofa and leans across the kitchen table toward Mike]'' Big - jobs! ''[he sits down on the kitchen chair on which Rick is resting his feet]''
--->'''Rick:''' OWWWW! ''[he moves his feet to the floor and glowers at Vyvyan; the knocking at the door becomes louder]''
--->'''Neil:''' Hey! Hey, guys! Great idea, listen. Listen. Why don't we, right, decide who's gonna answer the door, right, and then- and then that person could, like, go and answer it, right, and then- ''[Vyvyan begins yawning]'' and then, find out who it is and who they want to see, right, and then, like, come back in here, ''[Rick begins sobbing, literally bored to tears]'' and tell whoever it is that there's someboy who wants to see them! Yeah?
--->'''Mike:''' ''[shaking his head in exasperation]'' Neil, do me a favour.
--->'''Neil:''' What?
--->'''Mike:''' Die.
** Then, as Neil goes to answer the door, Billy Balowski has already let himself in. Neil comes back a minute later and says "There's no one there!"
* From "Bomb", the lentils scene.
** After the lentils are lost, Neil suggests cornflakes as an alternative. Vyvyan's response? "Cornflakes for breakfast? That's disgusting, Neil!"
** Rick getting his anarchist credentials by not paying his TV licence. To which Vyvyan replies,"What are you going to do Rick, burn your bra?"
** When the TV licence man shows up on their doorstep, Neil yells back that he has asked if they have a television, and adds "I'm gonna have to lie!"
** The attempts to get rid of the television. Dismissing Rick's plan to distract the TV licence man by saying "Look at that incredibly interesting thing!" while smuggling the television out dressed as an old lady, Mike tells Vyvyan to try throwing the television through the window - and it simply bounces off the glass. He then tells Vyvyan to ''eat'' the telly, which Vyv has always wanted to do.
--->'''Vyvyan:''' ''[pointing to the electric cord hanging out of his mouth]'' It's a toaster.
--->'''TV licence man:''' It's a telly, you yobbo! ''[grabs cord and pulls]'' Give it to me, I wanna nick yer!
** The TV licence man decides to lie in wait until Vyvyan passes the television. He asks where the bathroom is and is told "Upstairs, just follow your nose."
--->'''Vyvyan:''' It's alright lads, I always poo before I get up.
* The Christian door knocker in "Interesting" being killed by a sandwich, then Neil and Rick's reaction to the sandwich.
** Later in the episode, Vyvyan is carrying out his brilliant plan to destroy the house before the Council can demolish it for being a health hazard. This includes kicking a hole in the toilet bowl while Neil is sitting on it.
--->'''Neil:''' Wet feet. Nice one, Vyv.
--->'''Vyvyan:''' ''[opening bathroom door]'' I thought you were dead!
--->'''Neil:''' Well, that's no reason to hassle me on the toilet!
** "Some of these bricks explode!"
* In "Oil", Neil accidentally stabs Vyvyan in the head with a pick. Vyvyan then stands up and says in a [[DissonantSerenity completely calm and polite voice]] "That's okay Neil. It was bound to happen sooner or later."
** The whole thing being due to Vyvyan lying about striking oil.
** When Mike tells Rick he can't go into his own bedroom:
--->'''Rick:''' Have you turned my bedroom into some kind of roller disco? ''[walks past Mike into his bedroom]''
--->'''Mike:''' That's uncanny!
--->''[cut to Rick's room, which is now... a roller disco]''
* The Monopoly game in "Boring".
-->''[Mike rolls the dice and moves his token]''
-->'''Rick:''' Ha ha, Mike! Landed on the Old Kent Road, that's mine! Rent, come on, pay up, now!
-->'''Mike:''' ''[counting out the money]'' Yeah, all right, all right, I think the Mike Exchequer can handle a debt of ''four pounds''.
-->''[Vyvyan rolls the dice and moves his token to a Community Chest space as Rick grabs the money from Mike]''
-->'''Rick:''' Hey, wouldn't it be ''a-maz-ing'' if all this money was real?
-->'''Vyvyan:''' That is the single most predictable and ''boring'' thing that ''anybody'' could ''ever'' say whilst playing Monopoly!
-->'''Rick:''' Well, what about "Vyvyan"? I could say "Vyvyan", couldn't I, that'd be pretty boring!
-->'''Vyvyan:''' ''[taking Community Chest card]'' Ah. "You have won second prize in a beauty contest." ''[Rick laughs derisively and picks up the dice]'' "Smash Rick over the head with the bank."
-->''[confused, Rick puts the dice down and reaches for the card as Vyvyan smashes him over the head with the bank]''
-->'''Rick:''' Waagh! It did not say that! Michael, Vyvyan is cheating!
-->'''Vyvyan:''' Mike? ''[hands Mike the card]''
-->'''Mike:''' No, he's right, Rick, that's exactly what it says.
-->'''Rick:''' In ''biro'', Mike, in ''biro'', over the top of the print!
-->'''Vyvyan:''' But we had to change the rules because Monopoly's so ''boring!''
-->'''Rick:''' ''[picking up another card]'' "Congratulations, it is your birthday, you may set fire to Rick's bed!"
-->'''Vyvyan:''' ''[proudly]'' Good one!
-->'''Rick:''' ''[picking up another card]'' "Get out of jail free. You may keep this card, sell it, or stick it up Rick's bottom!" ''Vyvyan, you've ruined the game!''
-->'''Vyvyan:''' '''''I was bored!!'''''
-->'''Mike:''' Yeah, well that's nothing! Neil got so bored he's gone down the garden to kill himself! And it's his go!
** The Bolowski of the Week (clinically insane Billy Bolowski) knocks at the lads' front door, but no-one can be bothered to answer it:
--->'''Mike:''' There's someone at the door, Rick.
--->'''Rick:''' Someone at the door, Vyvyan.
--->'''Vyvyan:''' There's someone at the door, Neil.
--->'''Neil:''' There's someone at the door, Mike.
--->'''Mike:''' I know! ''[more knocking, louder this time]'' There's ''someone'' at the ''door'', Rick!
--->'''Rick:''' There's ''someone'' at the ''door'', Vyvyan!
--->'''Vyvyan:''' There's ''someone'' at the ''door'', Mike!
--->'''Neil:''' There's ''someone'' at the ''door''... Neil...
--->'''Mike:''' Well don't look at me, I'm in Paris.
--->'''Vyvyan:''' You haven't left the house all day!
--->'''Mike:''' Vyvyan, you ever heard of cloning?
--->'''Vyvyan:''' ''[thinks for a moment]'' No!
--->'''Mike:''' Oh, that's good! Would you swear to that?
--->'''Vyvyan:''' Certainly, if that's what you want! ''[jumps over the back of the sofa and leans across the kitchen table toward Mike]'' Big - jobs! ''[he sits down on the kitchen chair on which Rick is resting his feet]''
--->'''Rick:''' OWWWW! ''[he moves his feet to the floor and glowers at Vyvyan; the knocking at the door becomes louder]''
--->'''Neil:''' Hey! Hey, guys! Great idea, listen. Listen. Why don't we, right, decide who's gonna answer the door, right, and then- and then that person could, like, go and answer it, right, and then- ''[Vyvyan begins yawning]'' and then, find out who it is and who they want to see, right, and then, like, come back in here, ''[Rick begins sobbing, literally bored to tears]'' and tell whoever it is that there's someboy who wants to see them! Yeah?
--->'''Mike:''' ''[shaking his head in exasperation]'' Neil, do me a favour.
--->'''Neil:''' What?
--->'''Mike:''' Die.
** Then, as Neil goes to answer the door, Billy Balowski has already let himself in. Neil comes back a minute later and says "There's no one there!"
* From "Bomb", the lentils scene.
** After the lentils are lost, Neil suggests cornflakes as an alternative. Vyvyan's response? "Cornflakes for breakfast? That's disgusting, Neil!"
** Rick getting his anarchist credentials by not paying his TV licence. To which Vyvyan replies,"What are you going to do Rick, burn your bra?"
** When the TV licence man shows up on their doorstep, Neil yells back that he has asked if they have a television, and adds "I'm gonna have to lie!"
** The attempts to get rid of the television. Dismissing Rick's plan to distract the TV licence man by saying "Look at that incredibly interesting thing!" while smuggling the television out dressed as an old lady, Mike tells Vyvyan to try throwing the television through the window - and it simply bounces off the glass. He then tells Vyvyan to ''eat'' the telly, which Vyv has always wanted to do.
--->'''Vyvyan:''' ''[pointing to the electric cord hanging out of his mouth]'' It's a toaster.
--->'''TV licence man:''' It's a telly, you yobbo! ''[grabs cord and pulls]'' Give it to me, I wanna nick yer!
** The TV licence man decides to lie in wait until Vyvyan passes the television. He asks where the bathroom is and is told "Upstairs, just follow your nose."
--->'''Vyvyan:''' It's alright lads, I always poo before I get up.
* The Christian door knocker in "Interesting" being killed by a sandwich, then Neil and Rick's reaction to the sandwich.
to:
--->'''Vyvyan:'''
'''Vyvyan:''' ''[opening bathroom door]'' I thought you were
--->'''Neil:'''
'''Neil:''' Well, that's no reason to hassle me on the toilet!
[[AC:"Oil"]]
*
--->'''Mike:'''
'''Mike:''' That's
--->''[cut
''[cut to Rick's room, which is now... a roller
[[AC:"Boring"]]
* The Monopoly
-->''[Mike rolls the dice and moves his
-->'''Rick:'''
'''Rick:''' Ha ha, Mike! Landed on the Old Kent Road, that's mine! Rent, come on, pay up,
-->'''Mike:'''
'''Mike:''' ''[counting out the money]'' Yeah, all right, all right, I think the Mike Exchequer can handle a debt of ''four
-->''[Vyvyan
''[Vyvyan rolls the dice and moves his token to a Community Chest space as Rick grabs the money from
-->'''Rick:'''
'''Rick:''' Hey, wouldn't it be ''a-maz-ing'' if all this money was
-->'''Vyvyan:'''
'''Vyvyan:''' That is the single most predictable and ''boring'' thing that ''anybody'' could ''ever'' say whilst playing
-->'''Rick:'''
'''Rick:''' Well, what about "Vyvyan"? I could say "Vyvyan", couldn't I, that'd be pretty
-->'''Vyvyan:'''
'''Vyvyan:''' ''[taking Community Chest card]'' Ah. "You have won second prize in a beauty contest." ''[Rick laughs derisively and picks up the dice]'' "Smash Rick over the head with the bank.
-->''[confused,
''[confused, Rick puts the dice down and reaches for the card as Vyvyan smashes him over the head with the
-->'''Rick:'''
'''Rick:''' Waagh! It did not say that! Michael, Vyvyan is
-->'''Vyvyan:'''
'''Vyvyan:''' Mike? ''[hands Mike the
-->'''Mike:'''
'''Mike:''' No, he's right, Rick, that's exactly what it
-->'''Rick:'''
'''Rick:''' In ''biro'', Mike, in ''biro'', over the top of the
-->'''Vyvyan:'''
'''Vyvyan:''' But we had to change the rules because Monopoly's so
-->'''Rick:'''
'''Rick:''' ''[picking up another card]'' "Congratulations, it is your birthday, you may set fire to Rick's
-->'''Vyvyan:'''
'''Vyvyan:''' ''[proudly]'' Good
-->'''Rick:'''
'''Rick:''' ''[picking up another card]'' "Get out of jail free. You may keep this card, sell it, or stick it up Rick's bottom!" ''Vyvyan, you've ruined the
-->'''Vyvyan:'''
'''Vyvyan:''' '''''I was
-->'''Mike:'''
'''Mike:''' Yeah, well that's nothing! Neil got so bored he's gone down the garden to kill himself! And it's his go!
--->'''Rick:'''
'''Rick:''' Someone at the door,
--->'''Vyvyan:'''
'''Vyvyan:''' There's someone at the door,
--->'''Neil:'''
'''Neil:''' There's someone at the door,
--->'''Mike:'''
'''Mike:''' I know! ''[more knocking, louder this time]'' There's ''someone'' at the ''door'',
--->'''Rick:'''
'''Rick:''' There's ''someone'' at the ''door'',
--->'''Vyvyan:'''
'''Vyvyan:''' There's ''someone'' at the ''door'',
--->'''Neil:'''
'''Neil:''' There's ''someone'' at the ''door''...
--->'''Mike:'''
'''Mike:''' Well don't look at me, I'm in
--->'''Vyvyan:'''
'''Vyvyan:''' You haven't left the house all
--->'''Mike:'''
'''Mike:''' Vyvyan, you ever heard of
--->'''Vyvyan:'''
'''Vyvyan:''' ''[thinks for a moment]''
--->'''Mike:'''
'''Mike:''' Oh, that's good! Would you swear to
--->'''Vyvyan:'''
'''Vyvyan:''' Certainly, if that's what you want! ''[jumps over the back of the sofa and leans across the kitchen table toward Mike]'' Big - jobs! ''[he sits down on the kitchen chair on which Rick is resting his
--->'''Rick:'''
'''Rick:''' OWWWW! ''[he moves his feet to the floor and glowers at Vyvyan; the knocking at the door becomes
--->'''Neil:'''
'''Neil:''' Hey! Hey, guys! Great idea, listen. Listen. Why don't we, right, decide who's gonna answer the door, right, and then- and then that person could, like, go and answer it, right, and then- ''[Vyvyan begins yawning]'' and then, find out who it is and who they want to see, right, and then, like, come back in here, ''[Rick begins sobbing, literally bored to tears]'' and tell whoever it is that there's someboy who wants to see them!
--->'''Mike:'''
'''Mike:''' ''[shaking his head in exasperation]'' Neil, do me a
--->'''Neil:''' What?
--->'''Mike:'''
'''Neil:''' What?\\
'''Mike:''' Die.
** Then, as Neil goes to answer the door, Billy
[[AC:"Bomb"]]
*
**
* After the lentils are lost, Neil suggests cornflakes as an alternative. Vyvyan's response? "Cornflakes for breakfast? That's disgusting, Neil!"
--->'''TV
'''TV licence man:''' It's a telly, you yobbo! ''[grabs cord and pulls]'' Give it to me, I wanna nick yer!
[[AC:"Interesting"]]
* The Christian door knocker
Changed line(s) 71,90 (click to see context) from:
* From "Flood", Vyvyan's secret potion. "It's basically a cure...for not bein' an axe-wieldin' homicidal maniac!"
** The two incompetent spies (also played by Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson) who believe the lads are aliens and are staking them out from over the road.
--->'''Ade:''' This may sound like a stupid question: Lip, nip, nip, nip, bip?
--->'''Rik:''' Yes, it does.
--->'''Ade:''' ''(nodding)'' I thought so.
* The character-swap scene in "Bambi". Just switching their clothes (especially with the shortest character taking the tallest character’s role) would have been funny in itself, but the fact that [[StylisticSuck they deliberately play their new characters piss-poorly]] takes the gag up to hilarious.
-->'''Rik!Vyv:''' Wow, morning! [[CatchPhrase Completely brilliant!]] Let’s go to the laundrette.
-->'''Nigel!Rick:''' Oh! Oh, so it’s completely brilliant! And now we’ve all got to go to the laundrette just because Vyvyan says so! It’s like we’re living in Nazi Germany. Neil, I hate you.
-->'''Chris!Neil:''' Oh, wow, don’t bring me down and hassle me, Rick. [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall I’m really confused.]] ''(to camera)'' [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall I’m just not feeling myself today.]]
-->'''Nigel!Rick:''' Mike, you could do a really good joke, couldn’t you, about [[DoubleEntendre feeling yourself?]]
-->'''Rik!Vyv:''' ''(grabs Nigel!Rick by the collar)'' Shut up or I’ll kill you!
-->'''Ade!Mike:''' Okay, guys, come on. [[TheyJustDidntCare As the one guy said to the other guy when he was getting fed up, I’m getting fed up.]] I want to wash my smalls, and I don’t mean dip my tiddlies in a glass of water. Let’s go.
-->'''Rik!Vyv:''' Right! ''(points to Nigel!Rick’s hat)'' [[ChewingTheScenery And take that]] ''[[ChewingTheScenery stuuuuuuuuupid]]'' [[ChewingTheScenery girly bonnet off!]]
-->''(Nigel!Rick takes off his hat; his long hippie hair tumbles down)''
** The ''UniversityChallenge'' sequence, perhaps the best-remembered scene in the series:
-->'''Bambi:''' So your starter for ten, no conferring. Born in 1311 of Manchurian stock, he came to- ''[buzz]''
-->'''Announcer:''' Scumbag, Neil!
-->'''Neil:''' Er... can I go to the toilet, please?
** The fact that, [[FridgeBrilliance when you total the points]], they '''won''' ''University Challenge'' ... but only because Rick replaced Bambi's question-cards with {{Call Back}}s to a previous joke, then confessed to doing so on live television.
* From "Cash", Neil's letter (written by committee) to his bank manager:
** The two incompetent spies (also played by Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson) who believe the lads are aliens and are staking them out from over the road.
--->'''Ade:''' This may sound like a stupid question: Lip, nip, nip, nip, bip?
--->'''Rik:''' Yes, it does.
--->'''Ade:''' ''(nodding)'' I thought so.
* The character-swap scene in "Bambi". Just switching their clothes (especially with the shortest character taking the tallest character’s role) would have been funny in itself, but the fact that [[StylisticSuck they deliberately play their new characters piss-poorly]] takes the gag up to hilarious.
-->'''Rik!Vyv:''' Wow, morning! [[CatchPhrase Completely brilliant!]] Let’s go to the laundrette.
-->'''Nigel!Rick:''' Oh! Oh, so it’s completely brilliant! And now we’ve all got to go to the laundrette just because Vyvyan says so! It’s like we’re living in Nazi Germany. Neil, I hate you.
-->'''Chris!Neil:''' Oh, wow, don’t bring me down and hassle me, Rick. [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall I’m really confused.]] ''(to camera)'' [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall I’m just not feeling myself today.]]
-->'''Nigel!Rick:''' Mike, you could do a really good joke, couldn’t you, about [[DoubleEntendre feeling yourself?]]
-->'''Rik!Vyv:''' ''(grabs Nigel!Rick by the collar)'' Shut up or I’ll kill you!
-->'''Ade!Mike:''' Okay, guys, come on. [[TheyJustDidntCare As the one guy said to the other guy when he was getting fed up, I’m getting fed up.]] I want to wash my smalls, and I don’t mean dip my tiddlies in a glass of water. Let’s go.
-->'''Rik!Vyv:''' Right! ''(points to Nigel!Rick’s hat)'' [[ChewingTheScenery And take that]] ''[[ChewingTheScenery stuuuuuuuuupid]]'' [[ChewingTheScenery girly bonnet off!]]
-->''(Nigel!Rick takes off his hat; his long hippie hair tumbles down)''
** The ''UniversityChallenge'' sequence, perhaps the best-remembered scene in the series:
-->'''Bambi:''' So your starter for ten, no conferring. Born in 1311 of Manchurian stock, he came to- ''[buzz]''
-->'''Announcer:''' Scumbag, Neil!
-->'''Neil:''' Er... can I go to the toilet, please?
** The fact that, [[FridgeBrilliance when you total the points]], they '''won''' ''University Challenge'' ... but only because Rick replaced Bambi's question-cards with {{Call Back}}s to a previous joke, then confessed to doing so on live television.
* From "Cash", Neil's letter (written by committee) to his bank manager:
to:
[[AC:"Flood"]]
*
--->'''Rik:'''
'''Rik:''' Yes, it
--->'''Ade:'''
'''Ade:''' ''(nodding)'' I thought
[[AC:"Bambi"]]
* The character-swap
-->'''Rik!Vyv:''' Wow, morning! [[CatchPhrase Completely brilliant!]] Let’s go to the
-->'''Nigel!Rick:'''
'''Nigel!Rick:''' Oh! Oh, so
-->'''Chris!Neil:'''
'''Chris!Neil:''' Oh, wow, don’t bring me down and hassle me, Rick. [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall
-->'''Nigel!Rick:'''
'''Nigel!Rick:''' Mike, you could do a really good joke, couldn’t you, about [[DoubleEntendre feeling
-->'''Rik!Vyv:'''
'''Rik!Vyv:''' ''(grabs Nigel!Rick by the collar)'' Shut up or
-->'''Ade!Mike:'''
'''Ade!Mike:''' Okay, guys, come on. [[TheyJustDidntCare As the one guy said to the other guy when he was getting fed up,
-->'''Rik!Vyv:'''
'''Rik!Vyv:''' Right! ''(points to
-->''(Nigel!Rick
''(Nigel!Rick takes off his hat; his long hippie hair tumbles down)''
-->'''Bambi:''' So your starter for ten, no conferring. Born in 1311 of Manchurian stock, he came to-
-->'''Announcer:'''
'''Announcer:''' Scumbag,
-->'''Neil:'''
'''Neil:''' Er... can I go to the toilet, please?
[[AC:"Cash"]]
*
Changed line(s) 92,145 (click to see context) from:
** The lads finally decide one of them has to get a job to solve their cashflow problem. They consult the "Situations vacant" pages in the newspaper... which are all blank except for a single Armed Forces recruitment advert (misspellings theirs):
--->'''Join the Profeshionels. It's graet! You can have a gun if you want! And there's money in it (not the gun)'''
** After Rick claims to have a perforated ear drum, Mike claims to have flat feet, and Vyvyan claims to be pregnant, Neil is nominated to join the Army. He is dressed in one of Mike's suits (which is several sizes too small) and has his hair cut (on one side only), then he is literally thrown into the recruitment office... and immediately thrown out again.
--->'''Neil:''' I only said I was a pacifist!
** Fortunately, a police recruitment office is just over the road; this time, Neil passes the interview (conducted by Alexei Sayle as "Mussolini")... as the only requirement is being able to make a "''Kkh!''" sound over the police radio.
*** His first assignment is to bust a wild party held by some of his fellow hippies. He starts by knocking at the door and shouting "Open up, it's the pigs!" The other hippies assume he has come as a guest and shrug off his claim that he has come to arrest them, until one of them discovers Neil's police radio:
---->'''Warlock:''' ''[into radio]'' Hello Earth, can you read me? This is Starship Captain Warlock from the planet Freakout, broadcasting to you on the interlectrogalactic airwaves! Can you read me, Earth?
---->'''Policeman:''' ''[over radio]'' We receive you! Do you require assistance?
---->'''Warlock:''' ''[amazed]'' Far out, man! Er, yeah, we require ten assistants! Preferably Swedish!
---->''[screeching tyres, followed by a horde of policemen smashing the door down and attacking the partygoers with truncheons]''
---->'''Warlock:''' ''[eating his stash]'' Oh no! I knew I should have stuck to rum punch!
* In "Nasty", Vyvyan setting up a sawblade to slice Rick's bed in half, which Rick somehow didn't anticipate despite being certain Vyvyan has rigged his room somehow.
** The cutaway scene to an 18th-century convict ship.
--->'''Captain:''' Aged, toothless, and bent old crone!
--->'''Crone:''' 'Ow'd yer know me name?
--->'''Captain:''' We wish to engage you as ship's cook and concubine.
--->'''Crone:''' Oh yeah? What's a concubine then?
--->'''Captain:''' It's a small, spiky mammal.
--->'''Crone:''' ''[shakes head]'' No, that's a hedgehog.
--->'''Captain:''' Oh. Well in that case, we wish to engage you as ship's cook and hedgehog.
** "Oh! Have we got a video?"
--->'''Vyvyan:''' ''[growing increasingly irritated each time he's asked this]'' Yes! We've got a video!
* From "Time", the radio announcer is trying to warn the lads that Helen, the mysterious girl Rick found in his bed that morning, is a murderess, but as Neil has been knocked unconscious (by Helen, of course), Rick and Vyvyan are busy fighting over whether or not Rick is still a virgin, and Mike is trying to seduce Helen (who is trying to kill him), no-one is paying attention...
-->'''Announcer:''' You stupid bastards, I've been trying to tell you for the last ten minutes, that girl with her hands over Mike's ears is a dangerous murderer!
-->''[Helen covers Mike's ears, leads him over to the sofa, and begins smothering him with a cushion]''
-->'''Mike:''' That's it baby! Treat me rough!
-->'''Announcer:''' No, no, a ''murderer!'' ''[Vyvyan picks up the radio and throws it at Rick]'' That's better. Now will you listen- ''[Rick picks up the radio]'' '''No no you idiot I'm your last hope-''' ''[Rick throws the radio at Vyvyan; he misses, and the radio crashes through the window]''
-->'''Vyvyan:''' Missed, ''virgin!''
** Eventually, the fight between Rick and Vyvyan escalates to dangerous levels...
--->'''Rick:''' Vyv! Where did you get that Howitzer?!
--->'''Vyvyan:''' Found it!
--->'''Rick:''' Well you can just about bloomin' well put it back this instant, young man!
--->'''Vyvyan:''' I will, I will, just as soon as I've blown you to pieces! ''[fires a round as Rick dives for cover]''
** Meanwhile, the reason the episode is called "Time" has finally become clear as Neil is carted off to a mediaeval peasant village... and happens to point at the huts just as the shells from Vyv's Howitzer land on them, convincing the peasants he is an evil sorcerer.
--->'''Neil:''' Barricade the door! Lock the windows! Pretend to be invisible! I've just committed, erm, a bit of a ''faux pas''.
--->'''Mike:''' Neil, have you upset the neighbours?
--->'''Neil:''' No Mike, I've blown them up!
--->'''Rick:''' Phew! And who said Sunday was a day of rest?
--->'''Vyvyan:''' God did!
--->'''Rick:''' That's ''right!'' I knew it was some old Tory!
** Eventually, the peasants surround the house:
--->''[an arrow parts Rick's hair down the centre as it hits the telly]''
--->'''Rick:''' Oh no! The whole house has been surrounded by angry mediaeval peasants!
--->'''Mike:''' They think we're witches and they're gonna burn us!
--->'''Vyvyan:''' We're completely trapped! The outlook is bleak!
--->'''Neil:''' Oh, what are we gonna do, what are we gonna do??
--->'''Vyvyan:''' ... ''[rolls eyes]'' Oh, who cares.
--->'''All:''' Yeah.
--->''[they sit down and start playing cards, ignoring the peasants as they charge through the door and begin rummaging through the lads' belongings]''
* From "Sick", Vyvyan lighting a Molotov cocktail and saying "It's funny, but being ill makes me lose my usual tolerant and easy-going approach to communal living!" before lobbing it into Rick's bedroom.
** Early in the same episode, Mike comes into Neil's bedroom where the others have gathered holding a fish. He asks "What's this?" to which Vyvyan replies "A fish, Mike!" He leaves, satisfied. He then comes back soon after and finishes the question "What's this fish doing in my bed." Vyvyan replies, "It's not in your bed, Mike." He then leaves and comes back without the fish. "What's this fish doing in my bed?" The others reply, in unison "''WHAT FISH''?"
** Vyvyan's rant against ''TheGoodLife'':
--->'''Vyvyan''': No! No! NO! We're not watching the bloody Good Life! Bloody bloody bloody! I hate it! [[TastesLikeDiabetes It's so bloody nice!]] Felicity "Treacle" Kendal and Richard "Sugar-Flavored-Snot" Briers! What do they do now? Chocolate bloody Button ads, that's what! They're just a couple of reactionary stereotypes, confirming the myth that everyone in Britain is a lovable, middle-class eccentric - and [[PunctuatedForEmphasis I - HATE - THEM!]]
--->'''Mike''': That was a highly articulate outburst, Vyvyan. I only hope they're not watching.
--->'''Join the Profeshionels. It's graet! You can have a gun if you want! And there's money in it (not the gun)'''
** After Rick claims to have a perforated ear drum, Mike claims to have flat feet, and Vyvyan claims to be pregnant, Neil is nominated to join the Army. He is dressed in one of Mike's suits (which is several sizes too small) and has his hair cut (on one side only), then he is literally thrown into the recruitment office... and immediately thrown out again.
--->'''Neil:''' I only said I was a pacifist!
** Fortunately, a police recruitment office is just over the road; this time, Neil passes the interview (conducted by Alexei Sayle as "Mussolini")... as the only requirement is being able to make a "''Kkh!''" sound over the police radio.
*** His first assignment is to bust a wild party held by some of his fellow hippies. He starts by knocking at the door and shouting "Open up, it's the pigs!" The other hippies assume he has come as a guest and shrug off his claim that he has come to arrest them, until one of them discovers Neil's police radio:
---->'''Warlock:''' ''[into radio]'' Hello Earth, can you read me? This is Starship Captain Warlock from the planet Freakout, broadcasting to you on the interlectrogalactic airwaves! Can you read me, Earth?
---->'''Policeman:''' ''[over radio]'' We receive you! Do you require assistance?
---->'''Warlock:''' ''[amazed]'' Far out, man! Er, yeah, we require ten assistants! Preferably Swedish!
---->''[screeching tyres, followed by a horde of policemen smashing the door down and attacking the partygoers with truncheons]''
---->'''Warlock:''' ''[eating his stash]'' Oh no! I knew I should have stuck to rum punch!
* In "Nasty", Vyvyan setting up a sawblade to slice Rick's bed in half, which Rick somehow didn't anticipate despite being certain Vyvyan has rigged his room somehow.
** The cutaway scene to an 18th-century convict ship.
--->'''Captain:''' Aged, toothless, and bent old crone!
--->'''Crone:''' 'Ow'd yer know me name?
--->'''Captain:''' We wish to engage you as ship's cook and concubine.
--->'''Crone:''' Oh yeah? What's a concubine then?
--->'''Captain:''' It's a small, spiky mammal.
--->'''Crone:''' ''[shakes head]'' No, that's a hedgehog.
--->'''Captain:''' Oh. Well in that case, we wish to engage you as ship's cook and hedgehog.
** "Oh! Have we got a video?"
--->'''Vyvyan:''' ''[growing increasingly irritated each time he's asked this]'' Yes! We've got a video!
* From "Time", the radio announcer is trying to warn the lads that Helen, the mysterious girl Rick found in his bed that morning, is a murderess, but as Neil has been knocked unconscious (by Helen, of course), Rick and Vyvyan are busy fighting over whether or not Rick is still a virgin, and Mike is trying to seduce Helen (who is trying to kill him), no-one is paying attention...
-->'''Announcer:''' You stupid bastards, I've been trying to tell you for the last ten minutes, that girl with her hands over Mike's ears is a dangerous murderer!
-->''[Helen covers Mike's ears, leads him over to the sofa, and begins smothering him with a cushion]''
-->'''Mike:''' That's it baby! Treat me rough!
-->'''Announcer:''' No, no, a ''murderer!'' ''[Vyvyan picks up the radio and throws it at Rick]'' That's better. Now will you listen- ''[Rick picks up the radio]'' '''No no you idiot I'm your last hope-''' ''[Rick throws the radio at Vyvyan; he misses, and the radio crashes through the window]''
-->'''Vyvyan:''' Missed, ''virgin!''
** Eventually, the fight between Rick and Vyvyan escalates to dangerous levels...
--->'''Rick:''' Vyv! Where did you get that Howitzer?!
--->'''Vyvyan:''' Found it!
--->'''Rick:''' Well you can just about bloomin' well put it back this instant, young man!
--->'''Vyvyan:''' I will, I will, just as soon as I've blown you to pieces! ''[fires a round as Rick dives for cover]''
** Meanwhile, the reason the episode is called "Time" has finally become clear as Neil is carted off to a mediaeval peasant village... and happens to point at the huts just as the shells from Vyv's Howitzer land on them, convincing the peasants he is an evil sorcerer.
--->'''Neil:''' Barricade the door! Lock the windows! Pretend to be invisible! I've just committed, erm, a bit of a ''faux pas''.
--->'''Mike:''' Neil, have you upset the neighbours?
--->'''Neil:''' No Mike, I've blown them up!
--->'''Rick:''' Phew! And who said Sunday was a day of rest?
--->'''Vyvyan:''' God did!
--->'''Rick:''' That's ''right!'' I knew it was some old Tory!
** Eventually, the peasants surround the house:
--->''[an arrow parts Rick's hair down the centre as it hits the telly]''
--->'''Rick:''' Oh no! The whole house has been surrounded by angry mediaeval peasants!
--->'''Mike:''' They think we're witches and they're gonna burn us!
--->'''Vyvyan:''' We're completely trapped! The outlook is bleak!
--->'''Neil:''' Oh, what are we gonna do, what are we gonna do??
--->'''Vyvyan:''' ... ''[rolls eyes]'' Oh, who cares.
--->'''All:''' Yeah.
--->''[they sit down and start playing cards, ignoring the peasants as they charge through the door and begin rummaging through the lads' belongings]''
* From "Sick", Vyvyan lighting a Molotov cocktail and saying "It's funny, but being ill makes me lose my usual tolerant and easy-going approach to communal living!" before lobbing it into Rick's bedroom.
** Early in the same episode, Mike comes into Neil's bedroom where the others have gathered holding a fish. He asks "What's this?" to which Vyvyan replies "A fish, Mike!" He leaves, satisfied. He then comes back soon after and finishes the question "What's this fish doing in my bed." Vyvyan replies, "It's not in your bed, Mike." He then leaves and comes back without the fish. "What's this fish doing in my bed?" The others reply, in unison "''WHAT FISH''?"
** Vyvyan's rant against ''TheGoodLife'':
--->'''Vyvyan''': No! No! NO! We're not watching the bloody Good Life! Bloody bloody bloody! I hate it! [[TastesLikeDiabetes It's so bloody nice!]] Felicity "Treacle" Kendal and Richard "Sugar-Flavored-Snot" Briers! What do they do now? Chocolate bloody Button ads, that's what! They're just a couple of reactionary stereotypes, confirming the myth that everyone in Britain is a lovable, middle-class eccentric - and [[PunctuatedForEmphasis I - HATE - THEM!]]
--->'''Mike''': That was a highly articulate outburst, Vyvyan. I only hope they're not watching.
to:
---->'''Policeman:'''
'''Policeman:''' ''[over radio]'' We receive you! Do you require
---->'''Warlock:'''
'''Warlock:''' ''[amazed]'' Far out, man! Er, yeah, we require ten assistants! Preferably
---->''[screeching
''[screeching tyres, followed by a horde of policemen smashing the door down and attacking the partygoers with
---->'''Warlock:'''
'''Warlock:''' ''[eating his stash]'' Oh no! I knew I should have stuck to rum
[[AC:"Nasty"]]
*
--->'''Crone:'''
'''Crone:''' 'Ow'd yer know me
--->'''Captain:'''
'''Captain:''' We wish to engage you as ship's cook and
--->'''Crone:'''
'''Crone:''' Oh yeah? What's a concubine
--->'''Captain:'''
'''Captain:''' It's a small, spiky
--->'''Crone:'''
'''Crone:''' ''[shakes head]'' No, that's a
--->'''Captain:'''
'''Captain:''' Oh. Well in that case, we wish to engage you as ship's cook and hedgehog.
[[AC:"Time"]]
* From "Time", the radio announcer is trying to warn the lads that
-->'''Announcer:''' You stupid bastards, I've been trying to tell you for the last ten minutes, that girl with her hands over Mike's ears is a dangerous
-->''[Helen
''[Helen covers Mike's ears, leads him over to the sofa, and begins smothering him with a
-->'''Mike:'''
'''Mike:''' That's it baby! Treat me
-->'''Announcer:'''
'''Announcer:''' No, no, a ''murderer!'' ''[Vyvyan picks up the radio and throws it at Rick]'' That's better. Now will you listen- ''[Rick picks up the radio]'' '''No no you idiot I'm your last hope-''' ''[Rick throws the radio at Vyvyan; he misses, and the radio crashes through the
-->'''Vyvyan:'''
'''Vyvyan:''' Missed, ''virgin!''
--->'''Vyvyan:'''
'''Vyvyan:''' Found
--->'''Rick:'''
'''Rick:''' Well you can just about bloomin' well put it back this instant, young
--->'''Vyvyan:'''
'''Vyvyan:''' I will, I will, just as soon as I've blown you to pieces! ''[fires a round as Rick dives for cover]''
--->'''Mike:'''
'''Mike:''' Neil, have you upset the
--->'''Neil:'''
'''Neil:''' No Mike, I've blown them
--->'''Rick:'''
'''Rick:''' Phew! And who said Sunday was a day of
--->'''Vyvyan:'''
'''Vyvyan:''' God
--->'''Rick:'''
'''Rick:''' That's ''right!'' I knew it was some old Tory!
--->'''Rick:'''
'''Rick:''' Oh no! The whole house has been surrounded by angry mediaeval
--->'''Mike:'''
'''Mike:''' They think we're witches and they're gonna burn
--->'''Vyvyan:'''
'''Vyvyan:''' We're completely trapped! The outlook is
--->'''Neil:'''
'''Neil:''' Oh, what are we gonna do, what are we gonna
--->'''Vyvyan:''' ...
'''Vyvyan:''' ... ''[rolls eyes]'' Oh, who
--->'''All:''' Yeah.
--->''[they
'''All:''' Yeah.\\
''[they sit down and start playing cards, ignoring the peasants as they charge through the door and begin rummaging through the lads'
[[AC:"Sick"]]
*
--->'''Mike''':
'''Mike''': That was a highly articulate outburst, Vyvyan. I only hope they're not watching.
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Changed line(s) 13 (click to see context) from:
* In "Oil", Neil accidentally stabs Vyvyan in the head with a pick. Vyvyan then stands up and says in a completely calm and polite voice "That's okay Neil. It was bound to happen sooner or later."
to:
* In "Oil", Neil accidentally stabs Vyvyan in the head with a pick. Vyvyan then stands up and says in a [[DissonantSerenity completely calm and polite voice voice]] "That's okay Neil. It was bound to happen sooner or later."
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Changed line(s) 113 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Vyvyan:''' Yes! We've got a video!
to:
--->'''Vyvyan:''' ''[growing increasingly irritated each time he's asked this]'' Yes! We've got a video!
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Added DiffLines:
** "Oh! Have we got a video?"
--->'''Vyvyan:''' Yes! We've got a video!
--->'''Vyvyan:''' Yes! We've got a video!
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Changed line(s) 89 (click to see context) from:
** The fact that, [[FridgeBrilliance when you total the points]], they '''won''' University Challenge ... but only because Rick replaced Bambi's question-cards with Call Backs to a previous joke, then confessed to doing so on live television.
to:
** The fact that, [[FridgeBrilliance when you total the points]], they '''won''' University Challenge ... ''University Challenge'' ... but only because Rick replaced Bambi's question-cards with Call Backs {{Call Back}}s to a previous joke, then confessed to doing so on live television.
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Added DiffLines:
** The fact that, [[FridgeBrilliance when you total the points]], they '''won''' University Challenge ... but only because Rick replaced Bambi's question-cards with Call Backs to a previous joke, then confessed to doing so on live television.
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Changed line(s) 70 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Rick''': That's just ''typical''! Five minutes before the most important party of my life and the house is destroyed by a giant sandwich!
to:
-->'''Rick''': That's just ''typical''! Five minutes to go before the most important party of my life life, and half the house is destroyed by a giant sandwich!
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Changed line(s) 64 (click to see context) from:
** The attempts to get rid of the television. Dismissing Rick's plan to distract the TV licence man by saying "Look at that incredibly interesting thing!" while smuggling the television out dressed as an old lady, Mike tries throwing the television through the window - and it simply bounces off the glass. He then tells Vyvyan to ''eat'' the telly, which Vyv has always wanted to do.
to:
** The attempts to get rid of the television. Dismissing Rick's plan to distract the TV licence man by saying "Look at that incredibly interesting thing!" while smuggling the television out dressed as an old lady, Mike tries tells Vyvyan to try throwing the television through the window - and it simply bounces off the glass. He then tells Vyvyan to ''eat'' the telly, which Vyv has always wanted to do.
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Changed line(s) 4 (click to see context) from:
** Better yet, the fact that we meet his classmates during the party episodes, and they're ''all'' punks like him.
to:
** Better yet, the fact that we meet his classmates during the party episodes, episode, and they're ''all'' punks like him.
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Added DiffLines:
** Better yet, the fact that we meet his classmates during the party episodes, and they're ''all'' punks like him.