History Funny / TheMusketeers

** -What sells it is her nonchalant delivery.

--> '''Athos''': *whispering furiously* I cannot believe you slept with the Queen!\\
'''Aramis''': I thought you didn't see anything.\\
'''Athos''': They'll hang you, and then they'll hang me for letting it happen.\\
'''Aramis''': More chance we'll be killed here and take it with us to the grave.\\
'''Athos''': That's a comfort.

** Aramis claims that he didn't say aything before because he was trying to protect the Queen's reputation.

-->'''Aramis''': *staring at Constance walking off after she has slapped him* God! I love that in a woman!\\

-->'''King Louis''' I can't have people running around trying to kill my mother! [[HypocriticalHumor Not unless I tell them to!]]

-->'''Athos''': If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.\\

** Directly after exploding it with a perfect shot, Porthos suggests they try it again. Blindfolded.

* Aramis pulls Athos back to tell him that Rochefort knows about Aramis and Queen Anne's ffair. Athos has a typically deadpan response.

-->'''Athos''': ''[deadpan]'' I think they need our help!
-->'''Aramis''': They're just too shy to ask.

-->'''Athos''': If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
-->'''Aramis''': Yes, sorry.
-->'''Athos''': No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.

--> '''Athos''': *whispering furiously* I cannot believe you slept with the Queen!
--> '''Aramis''': I thought you didn't see anything.
--> '''Athos''': They'll hang you, and then they'll hang me for letting it happen.
--> '''Aramis''': More chance we'll be killed here and take it with us to the grave.
--> '''Athos''': That's a comfort.
* Captain Treville being interrupted by Aramis and Porthos during [[spoiler:Athos]] funeral.

-->'''Queen Anne''': *to Bonacieux* I trust there won't be any objections?
-->'''Bonacieux''': ....

-->'''D'Artagnan''': *sneaks up to a woman about to undress for a bath* Please don't be alarmed.
-->'''Lucy''': Oh my God, keep away! *backs up*
-->'''D'Artagnan''': Don't worry, I'm a gentleman.
-->'''Lucy''': You're undressed!
-->'''D'Artagnan''': Not for your benefit, I can assure you. *gestures behind him, where there's a partially hidden man lying face down, [[ItMakesSenseInContext who he'd knocked unconscious and had started to strip*]]
-->'''Lucy''':... Dear God, [[MistakenForGay could you not have found some other place for your entertainment?!]]
-->'''D'Artagnan''': N-no, he's unconscious!
-->'''Lucy''': *horrified staring*

* Treville's reaction to being told about [[spoiler: Aramis sleeping with the Queen. He goes from utter horror, then to fury as Aramis says the Dauphin might be his son, and then giving up completely when he's told that Rochefort knows.]]
** [[spoiler: At one point, Porthos goes to hug Aramis after realizing what kind of weight he's been carrying, only for Treville to separate them with a DeathGlare, as if to say 'Don't you hug him, he does ''not'' deserve hugs right now!']]
** [[spoiler: Athos' understated glee at telling the news, despite how serious the situation is. The scene really reads like an older brother telling on his sibling to their dad.]]

-->'''Constance''': Give me 50 sou and I'll take you to heaven.
-->'''Guard''': You one of 'em religious nutters?
-->'''Constance''': It's a metaphor.
-->'''Guard''': *looks bemused*

-->'''d'Artagnan''': Two words: Needle, haystack.
-->'''Athos''': I've got two more: move, now.
-->'''Aramis''': I've got two better ones: Coitus interruptus.
-->'''Athos''': I heard that.

-->'''Aramis''': *staring at Constance walking off after she has slapped him* God! I love that in a woman!
-->'''Porthos''': Passion?
-->'''Aramis''': *grinning* Violence.

-->'''Richelieu'''" Decapitating one's mother is rarely popular with the people, sire. It always looks a touch ungrateful.
At this point, Queen Anne suggests that the King's mother (who's being hunted by assassins) must be in very real danger. Louis orders the Cardinal to find the assassins, because:

-->'''King Louis'''" I can't have people running around trying to kill my mother! [[HypocriticalHumor Not unless ''I'' tell them to!]]"

-->'''Richelieu'''" Decapitating one's mother is rarely popular with the people, sire. It always look a touch ungrateful.

--> ''Athos'': *whispering furiously* I cannot believe you slept with the Queen!
--> ''Aramis'': I thought you didn't see anything.
--> ''Athos'': They'll hang you, and then they'll hang me for letting it happen.
--> ''Aramis'': More chance we'll be killed here and take it with us to the grave.
--> ''Athos'': That's a comfort.

* The usually stoic Athos having a mini FreakOut when he finds out [[spoiler: Aramis and Queen Anne slept together.]]

-->'''Aramis''': I've got to better ones: Coitus interruptus.

* D'Artagnan telling Athos to grab his sword and prepare to fight to the death. Aramis' reaction: "Now that's the way to make an entrance."

* When the upset King wishes to have his traitor mother executed, Richelieu dryly points out that "decapitating one's mother is rarely popular with the people, sire. It always look a touch ungrateful."

-->'''Constance''': Give ne 50 sou and I'll take you to heaven.

* And, moments later, getting offended because the guard thinks she's only worth 5 sou...maybe 10.

-->'''Guard''': *looks bemused*

** Really, even though it is very tense and emotionally charged, everyone's reactions throughout this scene are absolutely priceless.

** [[spoiler: Athos' understated glee at telling the news, despite how serious the situation is. The scene really reads like an older brother telling on his sibling to their dad.]]

-->'''Athos''': ''[deadpan] I think they need our help!

* In 2.06, as everyone's preparing to return to the palace after their torment at the hands of Marmion, Constance declares that she loves D'Artagnan and [[BigDamnKiss kisses him in front of everyone.]] Louis, who's been playing with the Dauphin, looks up and rather disinterestedly asks "isn't that woman married?" When Queen Anne confirms she is, Louis shrugs and goes back to the baby.