History Funny / TheKingkillerChronicle

-->"Master Elodin, why don't you want to teach me naming?"
-->"That's the wrong question. Try again."
-->"Why are you burning your clothes?"
-->"Nope. Not even close to the right question."
-->[[OhCrap "Whose rooms are these?"]]
-->And afterwards, "I live here, what's your excuse?"

-->'''Sim:''' Which is worse, stealing a pie or killing Ambrose?
-->'''Kvothe:''' A meat pie, or a fruit pie?
-->'''Sim:''' Do you know what would happen if you tried to knife Ambrose?
-->'''Kvothe:''' There'd be a trial, I suppose... and people would buy me drinks.

--> '''Hemme:''' Well well... I heard you were dead
--> '''Kvothe:''' I heard you wore a red lace corset. But I don't believe every bit of nonsense that gets rumored about.
--> '''Narration:''' Some shouting followed, and I was quickly brought up on charges of Improper Address of a Master. I was sentenced to compose a letter of apology and fined a single silver talent. [[WorthIt Money well spent]].

** Getting Kvothe back into the Archives by making a deal with Lorren that if Kvothe is caught messing around again, Lorren can cut off Kvothe's thumbs.

** In the above scene, Elodin and Kvothe are on the roof, and Elodin decides to walk over and knock on Lorren's window for a word. Lorren does not seem to find this particularly odd. Hell, Elodin could probably do almost anything and the other masters wouldn't blink an eye. It's just how crazy he is. (Although, in fairness, this is [[TheStoic Lorren]] we're talking about.)

* At the end of the book, Bast {{No Sell}s Chronicler's iron and gives him a gruesome threat if Chronicler doesn't help him with what he wants. Then he [[MoodWhiplash offers the man a nightcap and gives him an earnest-sounding "sleep well."]]

** FridgeLogic So what happened at the end? [[spoiler:The king screwed off the boy's arse.]]

* Kvothe, after barely escaping expulsion, points out that he deserves an academic promotion for successfully setting his professor on fire with a sophisticated spell.

* And then when he's ordered to post a letter of apology to Ambrose, he does. In fact, he posts a hundred copies of the letter (using an extremely difficult to remove adhesive), all apologizing profusely for the song, which it reproduces in full with two new extra-bawdy verses and ''annotation'', so that everyone can understand in detail the insulting references to Ambrose.

** Also, Simmon and Kvothe decide that, since the latter can't understand what's a good idea and what isn't, that the former should classify the bad ones on a scale from 1 to 10. When Kvothe talks about killing Ambrose, Simmon immediately classify it as a 10... then lowers it to 8. Then to 7.

-->[[NoBigDeal This was not a particularly odd day's class under Master Elodin.]]

** And then when he's ordered to post a letter of apology to Ambrose, he does. In fact, he posts a hundred copies of the letter (using an extremely difficult to remove adhesive), all apologizing profusely for the song, which it reproduces in full with two new extra-bawdy verses and ''annotation'', so that everyone can understand in detail the insulting references to Ambrose.

** And then when he's ordered to post a letter of apology to Ambrose, he does. In fact, he posts a hundred copies of the letter, all apologizing profusely for the song, which it reproduces in full with two new extra-bawdy verses and ''annotation'', so that everyone can understand in detail the insulting references to Ambrose.

** In the above scene, Elodin and Kvothe are on the roof, and Elodin decides to walk over and knock on Lorren's window for a word. Lorren does not seem to find this particularly odd. Hell, Elodin could probably do almost anything and the other masters wouldn't blink an eye. It's just how crazy he is. (Although, in fairness, this is [[TheStoic Lorren]] we're talking about.

--> '''Narration:''' Some shouting followed, and I was quickly brought up on charges of Improper Address of a Master. I was sentenced to compose a letter of apology and fined a single silver talent. [[WorthIt Money well spent]].

* Kvothe's attempts to persuade Elodin to help him study naming.

** And then when he's ordered to post a letter of apology to Ambrose, he does. In fact, he posts a hundred copies of the letter, all apologizing for the song, which it reproduces in full with two extra-bawdy new verses and ''annotation'', so that everyone knows exactly where all the insulting references to Ambrose are.
* Kvothe buys a horse and accidentally names him "One Sock" due to bad translation. Later, he discovers that the owner dyed one of the horses's legs to drive up the price. Needless to say, when Kvothe chooses the name, the owner is caught completely off guard and in retrospect, Kvothe is hilariously confused.

"Elodin looked at me, puzzled. "What? You're in. Problem solved."\\

"Wh- no. But..."\\

* The class where he tried to show them something by chasing around a bunch of flower seeds in the air. He chases them around for about 10 minutes, trips and injures his knee, starts a [[ClusterFBomb stream of cursing]] ([[ForeignLanguageTirade in EIGHT different languages!]]) so vile that it actually makes Kvothe a little sick, inhales a seed and nearly chokes, then just quietly limps out of the room. The best part is Kvothe's closing comment about the whole scene:

* Ah screw it, ANYTHING a FunnyForeigner says.
* The Adem view on fatherhood. Namely, it doesn't exist, as men don't impact reproduction.
** An Adem tells Kvothe some of their rumors about outsiders, one being that they drink their own urine. Kvothe, completely serious, asks if it means they don't, leaving her completely shocked... Until he starts laughing.

* Kvothe under the effects of Ambose's plum bob.

-->'''Kvothe:''' There’d be a trial, I suppose... and people would buy me drinks.

** Also, Simmon and Kvothe decide that, since the latter can't understand what's a good idea and what isn't, that the former should classify the bad ones on a scale from 1 to 10. When Kvothe talks about killing Ambrose, Simmon immediately classify it as a 10... Then lowers it to 8. Then to 7.
** One of the funniest parts of the sequence was right at the beginning, where Sim, trying to illustrate to Kvothe that his judgement is impaired, asks him to try and think of ''anything'' that would be a bad idea. After several moments of strained thought, Kvothe cautiously suggests "jumping off the roof". Which is hilarious when you remember that he'd done exactly that while entirely lucid earlier in the story, when he tried to impress Elodin.

* And then there is the "It's all energy" thing from Sim in WMF, compounded by Denna at the end of the scene.

** And then when he's ordered to post a letter of apology to Ambrose, he does...posting up a hundred copies of the letter which apologizes for the song...which he then reproduces in it's entirety, adds two extra-bawdy new verses, and ''annotates'' it so that everyone knows exactly what all the insulting references to Ambrose are.

** In the above scene, Elodin and Kvothe are on the roof, and Elodin decides to walk over and knock on Lorren's window for a word. Lorren does not seem to find this particularly odd. Hell, Elodin could probably do almost anything and the other masters wouldn't blink an eye. It's just how crazy he is.
** Tricking Kvothe into helping him trash Master Hemme's room. "I live here, what's your excuse?"

** One of the funniest parts of the sequence was right at the beginning, where Sim, trying to illustrate to Kvothe that his judgement is impaired, asks him to try and think of ''anything'' that would be a bad idea. After several moments of strained thought, Kvothe cautiously suggests "jumping off the roof". Which is utterly hilarious when you the earlier innocent where to impress Elodin, while entirely lucid, he had done exactly that.