History Funny / TheGrandTour

-->'''Clarkson:''' The next morning, the peaceful stillness was shattered by the cry of a distressed animal.

-->''(Cut to Hammond standing outside their lodge with his car noticeably missing its roof)''

--->''(Hammond sees the roof of his car on the ground, snapped into two)''
--->'''May:''' Why have you driven over your roof?

* The sat-nav on Richard Hammond's Aston Martin [=DB9=], believing it to be still in the UK, or more specifically, "in the East Midlands on a Spring Day".

** And in Krakow, when Jeremy and Richard do it again, this time putting the Crosley in a shop, James organizes a bit of revenge of his own (all while humming "dee dee dee dee dee......"). To Jeremy's Mitsuoka Le-Seyde, he drills in a pair of candelabras on the front wheel hubs. But to Richard's Chevrolet SSR? He wires a new sound to the brakes and indicators. For brakes? Railroad crossing. For the right indicator, Richard's car horn. For the left indicator, comes a wail of "Yeah Yeah Yeah". For the accelerator? ''bagpipes''. And last, but not least, when the convertible roof on the SSR comes up or down? It's basically someone saying “I'm impotent” in Hungarian (though the last one was in retaliation for the drag race).[[note]]Clarkson and Hammond assume it's in Slovakian, making this a [Bilingual Bonus][[/note]]

** And in Krakow, when Jeremy and Richard do it again, this time putting the Crosley in a shop, James organizes a bit of revenge of his own (all while humming "dee dee dee dee dee......"). To Jeremy's Mitsuoka Le-Seyde, he drills in a pair of candelabras on the front wheel hubs. But to Richard's Chevrolet SSR? He wires a new sound to the brakes and indicators. For brakes? Railroad crossing. For the right indicator, Richard's car horn. For the left indicator, comes a wail of "Yeah Yeah Yeah". For the accelerator? ''bagpipes''. And last, but not least, when the convertible roof on the SSR comes up or down? It's basically someone saying “I'm impotent” in Hungarian (though the last one was in retaliation for the drag race).[[note]]Clarkson and Hammond assume it's in Slovakian, making this a [[Bilingual Bonus]][[/note]]

* When about to discuss it's flaws, seven lawyers are put in the car with him so he won't say something that could be grounds for a lawsuit. He eventually gets so annoyed, he exits the car and uses the summon function to park them between two cars so they can't get out and stop his complaint about the price tag.

** And in Krakow, when Jeremy and Richard do it again, this time putting the Crosley in a shop, James organizes a bit of revenge of his own (all while humming "dee dee dee dee dee......"). To Jeremy's Mitsuoka Le-Seyde, he drills in a pair of candelabras on the front wheel hubs. But to Richard's Chevrolet SSR? He wires a new sound to the brakes and indicators. For brakes? Railroad crossing. For the right indicator, Richard's car horn. For the left indicator, comes a wail of "Yeah Yeah Yeah". For the accelerator? ''bagpipes''. And last, but not least, when the convertible roof on the SSR comes up or down? It's basically someone saying “I'm impotent” in Hungarian (though the last one was in retaliation for the drag race).

** And in Krakow, when Jeremy and Richard do it again, this time putting the Crosley in a shop, James organises a bit of revenge of his own (all while humming "dee dee dee dee dee......"). To Jeremy's Mitsuoka Le-Seyde, he drills in a pair of candelabras on the front wheel hubs. But to Richard's Chevrolet SSR? He wires a new sound to the brakes and indicators. For brakes? Railroad crossing. For the right indicator, Richard's car horn. For the left indicator, comes a wail of "Yeah Yeah Yeah". For the accelerator? ''bagpipes''. And last, but not least, when the convertible roof on the SSR comes up or down? It's basically someone saying “I'm impotent” in Slovakian (though the last one was in retaliation for the drag race).

* The sat-nav on Richard Hammond's Aston Martin DB9, believing it to be still in the UK, or more specifically, "in the East Midlands on a Spring Day".

-->'''May:''' Well, [[{{Understatement}} that's an interesting one]], isn't it?

-->'''May:''' Well, [[Understatement that's an interesting one]], isn't it?

%%[[folder:International Buffoons' Vacation]]
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** Then, they come across a wax figure of Nigel Mansell… which they then steal from the museum and place in Jeremy's car for most of the special (where, predictably, it starts to melt). Also, Richard and Jeremy's "Birmingham accent" for Nigel.

** Oh, and remember the back-up car? James originally had drove it, with a trailer on the back, towing the Crosley, only to find that the hot-rod towing the Crosley was "absolutely lethal", leading to James having to had to attach the trailer to the crew van instead. Even with that out of the way, it was just as worse as the Crosley. It had decals of "Titties 'n' Beer" on it's doors, it's throttle pedal was buried within the door (forcing James to drive without a right shoe only for the razor-sharp pedal to dig within his foot), it was prone to violently pulling to the right whilst under braking, the interior was noisy and baking hot and not to mention, ''it wasn't even a proper hot-rod'', since it had a straight-6 Jag engine which would break down regularly, instead of a V8.

* After Richard crashes his Formula Easter car, he radios back, saying he has hurt his leg but is okay and needs someone to pick him up. The person coming to pick him up, is ''James.'' In a 1940s Crosley CC Convertible that is so slow (it also stalled and cut out before he even left the pit!) that by the time he reaches Hammond, Richard's just lying back in the car, ''catching the sun''. When he arrives back, Jeremy remarks he's not dead, to which Hammond replies "No. In fact, I've got better".

** It’s slow that he can only do 38 MPH flat out (to be fair, the car was from the 40s so it lost around half of it's horsepower), it’s so flimsy that it’s vulnerable to shuddering from slipstreams from overtaking cars (and lorries if you’re unlucky), and it’s so unreliable that it stalls and cuts out randomly without warning (and that’s not including the fact that his battery dies at one point). [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking And his wipers are broken too.]] It’s so bad that James is forced to take the backup car ''for the first time in the trio's history''.
** It's so bad that May ended up constantly missing out on the trio's planned stops.

* While gearing up, Hammond shows up in snow camo. Clarkson proceeds to lecture him about how visible he's going to be while wearing forest camo. [[note]] The location is a desert and so the forest camo is arguably worse. [[/note]]

* James starts ranting about the monarchy when Jeremy announces the VIP is the Queen of England. James then starts lecturing the Queen on his political views as Jeremy is shot twice [[GroinAttack in the plums]] and eventually blown up.

* Clarkson being stuck in the window, and the insurgents getting "[[AssShove personal]]" with him.

* The trio [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHLrcai_0no getting in another fight with the American audience over the word Football]], started by Music/BrianJohnson, on his way to the studio to appear in "Celebrity Brain Smash", catches a football and is run over by an entire football team. The scene ''repeatedly'' {{jump cut}}s shots of the trio arguing with the audience, from Jeremy calling American football rugby with padding, to James holding a globe and touting how many people watch soccer, to James having blood wiped from his nose by a makeup tech while the audience chants "USA! USA! USA!" Then May asks "So he's not coming on, then?"

* After seeing a dehorned rhino, Clarkson and May decide to do their part to catch rhino poachers, roping in a reluctant Hammond. When they try to track poachers off road, they end up following their own tracks. So they decide to look for poachers from the air by paragliding, only for a gust of wind to knock Clarkson off his feet. Then they decide to go out on a night patrol, which results in Hammond getting hit by a tranquiliser dart. When he doesn't wake up the next morning, they get creative with getting him and his car to follow. Cut to Richard Hammond [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsSiN5pSXOo waking up in his buggy suspended from a helicopter,]] screaming.

-->'''Hammond''': Are you sure they weren't people trying to tunnel in?

** Oh, and remember the back-up car? James originally had drove it, with a trailer on the back, towing the Crosley, only to find that the hot-rod towing the Crosley was "absolutely lethal", leading to leading to James having to had to attach the trailer to the crew van instead. Even with that out of the way, it was just as worse as the Crosley. It had decals of "Titties 'n' Beer" on it's doors, it's throttle pedal was buried within the door (forcing James to drive without a right shoe only for the razor-sharp pedal to dig within his foot), it was prone to violently pulling to the right whilst under braking, the interior was noisy and baking hot and not to mention, ''it wasn't even a proper hot-rod'', since it had a straight-6 Jag engine which would break down regularly, instead of a V8.
* While in Krakow, the trio [[https://youtu.be/4vBIzEuRbYI stop by]] a local wax figures museum, only to find that all the figures inside are horrendously botched; all of them look like bad impersonators who had been just as badly taxidermized. Among other remarks, James and Richard point out how the UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump figure's expression makes him look like he's shitting himself, Jeremy mistakes a figure of Creator/SylvesterStallone for one of Richard and later confuses a figure of Creator/RobertDeNiro for Creator/GeorgeLazenby, and James surmises that nobody in Poland would recognize Creator/KeiraKnightley if she visited because of how little her waxwork looks like her. And that's not including the ''horrifically botched'' figures of the Harry Potter characters.

** And in Krakow, when Jeremy and Richard do it again, this time putting the Crosley in a shop, James organises a bit of revenge of his own. To Jeremy's Mitsuoka Le-Seyde, he drills in a pair of candelabras on the front wheel hubs. But to Richard's Chevrolet SSR? He wires a new sound to the brakes and indicators. For brakes? Railroad crossing. For the right indicator, Richard's car horn. For the left indicator, comes a wail of "Yeah Yeah Yeah". For the accelerator? ''bagpipes''. And last, but not least, when the convertible roof on the SSR comes up or down? It's basically someone saying “I'm impotent” in Slovakian (though the last one was in retaliation for the drag race).

* After Richard crashes his Formula Easter car, he radios back, saying he has hurt his leg but is okay and needs someone to pick him up. The person coming to pick him up, is ''James.'' In a Crosley CC Convertible that is so slow (it also stalled and cut out before he even left the pit!) that by the time he reaches Hammond, Richard's just lying back in the car, ''catching the sun''. When he arrives back, Jeremy remarks he's not dead, to which Hammond replies "No. In fact, I've got better".

** It’s slow that he can only do 38 MPH flat out, it’s so flimsy that it’s vulnerable to shuddering from slipstreams from overtaking cars (and lorries if you’re unlucky), and it’s so unreliable that it stalls and cuts out randomly without warning (and that’s not including the fact that his battery dies at one point). [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking And his wipers are broken too.]] It’s so bad that James is forced to take the backup car ''for the first time in the trio's history''.

* Scratch that, just the Crosley in general.
** First off, it should be noted that it was bought off a car auction website for £11,000. And May was drunk on wine during the auction.

** And in Krakow, when Jeremy and Richard do it again, this time putting the Crosley in a shop, James organises a bit of revenge of his own. To Jeremy's Mitsuoka Le-Seyde, he drills in a pair of candelabras on the front wheel hubs. But to Richard's Chevrolet SSR? He wires a new sound to the brakes and indicators. For brakes? Railroad crossing. For the right indicator, Richard's car horn. For the left indicator, comes a wail of "Yeah Yeah Yeah". For the accelerator? ''bagpipes''. And last, but not least, when the convertible roof on the SSR comes up or down? It's basically someone saying I'm impotent in Slovakian.

** It’s so unreliable that James crashes it into a checkpoint post before he even left the port (during which we even see his broken wipers), it’s so slow that he can only do 38 MPH flat out, it’s so flimsy that it’s vulnerable to shuddering from slipstreams from overtaking cars (and lorries if you’re unlucky), and it stalls and cuts out randomly without warning. It’s so bad that James is forced to take the backup car ''for the first time in the trio's history''.