History Funny / TheGrandTour

* Hell, just the Crosley in general.

** To try and "put a spring back into [James'] step", Jeremy and Richard organise a drag race which they reckon that the Crosley can win, consisting of a Tatra tipper truck weighting at around 18 and a half tons, a JCB tractor weighing at around 12 and a half tons, a Velorex 3-wheeler with only ''12'' horsepower and a man on a bicycle. But, the Crosley ''still'' comes last!

** It’s so unreliable that James crashes it into a checkpoint post before he even left the port, it’s so slow that he can only do 38 MPH flat out, it’s so flimsy that it’s vulnerable to slipstreams from overtaking cars (and lorries if you’re unlucky), and it stalls and cuts out randomly without warning. It’s so bad that James is forced to take the backup car ''for the first time in the trio's history'' (albeit with some LoopholeAbuse).

** Then, they come across a wax figure of Nigel Mansell… which they then steal from the museum and place in Jeremy's car for most of the special. Also, Richard's "Birmingham accent" for Nigel.

** And in Krakow, when Jeremy and Richard do it again, this time putting the Crosley in a shop, James organises a bit of revenge of his own. To Jeremy's Mitsuoka Le-Seyde, he drills in a pair of candelabras on the front wheel hubs. But to Richard's Chevrolet SSR? He wires a new sound to the brakes and indicators. For brakes? Railroad crossing. For the right indicator, Richard's car horn. For the left indicator, comes a wail of "Yeah Yeah Yeah". And last but not least, for the accelerator, ''bagpipes''.

* While in Krakow, the trio [[https://youtu.be/4vBIzEuRbYI stop by]] a local wax figures museum, only to find that all the figures inside are horrendously botched; all of them look like bad impersonators who had been just as badly taxidermized. Among other remarks, James and Richard point out how the UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump figure's expression makes him look like he's shitting himself, Jeremy mistakes a figure of Creator/SylvesterStallone for one of Richard and later confuses a figure of Robert De Niro for George Lazenby, and James surmises that nobody in Poland would recognize Creator/KeiraKnightley if she visited because of how little her waxwork looks like her. And that's not including the ''horrifically botched'' figures of the Harry Potter characters.
* Continued from above, they then find a wax figure of Nigel Mansell… which they then steal from the museum and place in Jeremy's car for most of the special.

** After James' mud car falls apart, James goes through all sorts of alternative material. At first, he tries mud bricks. Needless to say, it collapses well before James can even start again. And when it comes to trying to cross a river, the mortar dissolves. Then, James builds the car out of wetted hay, which doesn't last for very long and forces James to tie the hay back together with a ball of string.
* After breaking his front bumper after crashing while parking, Jeremy gets some meat and ribs to fix up his meat and bone Land Rover, only for some dog to come over and have a nibble at the meat. Then, when Clarkson leaves the Land Rover outside their hotel for the night..., he returns the next morning to discover that the dog has been at it, leaving quite a mess.
** The usage of meat for Jeremy's car, has an unintended side-effect in that the flies come for it. The resulting smell becomes so bad that Jeremy is forced to use tampons and put them up his nostrils, and even made the sound recordist, who was going to fix Jeremy's microphone, ''sick''.

* Clarkson leaves his meat and bone made Land Rover outside their hotel for the night... and returns to discover that a dog has been at it.

'''Dispatcher:''' What?

''(the Pantera races by)''\\

--->'''Clarkson:''' Right.\\

* During the Citroën C3 Aircross review, a police chase is set up, with the C3 as the police car. The chase starts with Clarkson, posing as a French police officer, eating a comically large baguette when the police dispatcher[[note]]Actually Andy Wilman[[/note]] contacting him with a load of mock French:

%%[[folder:Aston, Astronauts and Angelina’s Children]]
%%[[/folder]]
%%
[[folder:The Youth Vote]]
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fbn9aLvJspU Jeremy's way of speaking "the language of the Millenial"]]
-->Dab on it, wagwan! ''[claps]''
[[/folder]]
%%

** And then for the final race to the plane (which is a cargo plane), James not only gets a headstart by getting up earlier than his companions but also sabotages Jeremy and Richard’s car so he could be first (by taking out one of the wheels of their cars and putting it on a boat in Lake Bled, where motorboats were banned). And he still ended up being overtaken by both of them and still came in last place. And to add insult to injury, the Crosley cuts out ''yet again'' halfway up the carrier ramp!

* While in Krakow, the trio [[https://youtu.be/4vBIzEuRbYI stop by]] a local wax figures museum, only to find that all the figures inside are horrendously botched; all of them look like bad impersonators who had been just as badly taxidermized. Among other remarks, James and Richard point out how the UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump figure's expression makes him look like he's shitting himself, Jeremy mistakes a figure of Creator/SylvesterStallone for one of Richard, and James surmises that nobody in Poland would recognize Creator/KeiraKnightley if she visited because of how little her waxwork looks like her.

* The wax figures museum. Just……''all of it''. [[https://youtu.be/4vBIzEuRbYI It has to be seen to be believed.]]

** And in Krakow, when Jeremy and Richard do it again, this time putting the Crosley in a shop, James organises a bit of revenge of his own. To Jeremy's Mitsuoka Le-Seyde, he drills in a pair of candelabras on the front wheel hubs. And to Richard's Chevrolet SSR, he wires a new sound to the brakes and indicators. For brakes? Railwood crossing. For the right indicator, Richard's car horn. For the left indicator, comes a wail of "Yeah Yeah Yeah". And last but not least, for the accelerator, ''bagpipes''.

** It’s so unreliable that James crashes it into a checkpoint post before he even left the port, it’s so slow that he can only do 38 MPH flat out, it’s so flimsy that it’s vulnerable to slipstreams from overtaking cars (and lorries if you’re unlucky), and it stalls and cuts out randomly without warning. It’s so bad that James is forced to take the backup car ''for the first time'' for most of the episode (albeit with some LoopholeAbuse).

** And then for the final race to the plane (which is a cargo plane), James not only gets a headstart by getting up earlier than his companions but also sabotages Jeremy and Richard’s car so he could be first. And he still ended up being overtaken by both of them and still came in last place. And to add insult to injury, the Crosley cuts out ''yet again'' halfway up the carrier ramp!

** To try and "put a spring back into [James] step", Jeremy and Richard organise a drag race which they reckon that the Crosley can win, consisted of a Tatra tipper truck weighting at around 18 and a half tons, a JCB tractor weighing at around 12 and a half tons, a Velorex 3-wheeler with only ''12'' horsepower and a man on a bicycle. But, the Crosley ''still'' comes last!
** And then for the final race to the plane (which is an aircraft carrier), James not only gets a headstart by getting up earlier than his companions but also sabotages Jeremy and Richard’s car so he could be first. And he still ended up being overtaken by both of them and still came in last place. And to add insult to injury, the Crosley cuts out ''yet again'' halfway up the carrier ramp!
*** Just to add further insult to injury, shortly after Jeremy and Hammond catch up to May and pass him, Hammond's car ends up overheating and he has to stop at the side of the road, allowing May to overtake Hammond in the Crosley. He gets to the plane first (after Jeremy) and it looks like May might be the second person to get onboard... only for Hammond to come barreling up behind May after his first failed attempt to drive up the ramp, and easily do it himself, ensuring that May's dead last.

* Continued from above, they then find a wax figure of Nigel Mansell……which they then steal from the museum and place it in Jeremy’s car for most of the special.

** And then for the final race to the plane, James not only gets a headstart by getting up earlier than his companions but also sabotages Jeremy and Richard’s car so he could be first. And he still ended up being overtaken by both of them and still came in last place.

** It’s so unreliable that James crashes it into a checkpoint post before he even left the port, it’s so slow that he can only do 38 MPH flat out, it’s so flimsy that it’s vulnerable to slipstreams from overtaking cars (and lorrys if you’re unlucky), and it stalls and cuts out randomly without warning. It’s so bad that James is forced to take the backup car for the first time for most of the episode (albeit with some LoopholeAbuse).
** To try and "put a spring back into [James] step", Jeremy and Richard organise a drag race which they reckon that the Crosley can win, consisted of a Tatra tipper truck weighting at around 18 and a half tons, a JCB tractor weighing at around 12 and a half tons, a Velorex 3-wheeler with only ''12'' horsepower and a man on a bicycle. But, the Crosley still comes last.

* The wax figures museum. Just……all of it. [[https://youtu.be/4vBIzEuRbYI It has to be seen to be believed.]]

** And then for the final race to the plane, James not only gets a headstart but also sabotages Jeremy and Richard’s car so he could be first. And he still ended up being overtaken by both of them and still came in last place.